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  1. Hello everyone, I am back again (form Paxil Progress.org) trying to hopefully attempt another ween off my Paxil. I have been on Paxil for 20 years, and have tried many attempts bot Dr's methods and 1 Paxil Progress org method. The last attempt was 8 years ago slowly weaning with liquid Paxil for up to 6 months, i remember many on that site letting me know that it was to quick and they were right i guess, because 3 weeks later i was back on the side effects were to difficult. So here i am again contemplating another journey, hello everyone, and i'm glad i found you guys again, but also sorry to see PP.org vanish. Does anyone know what actually cuaesd them to just shut down? MeAgain
  2. I have been off of Paxil completely for 3 months now after 13 years. Where do I get more info on the healing process. I am depressed, moody, impatient, tearful and having difficulty working due to the stress in my job. Will normal ever come back? I am so tempted to go back on drugs but after having 4 month terrible months of withdrawal I hate to go backwards. Any words of advice or sites for more info.... I had no idea that after 2 months of being drug free that I would still struggle so much emotionally
  3. My third and hopefully final attempt to get off Paxil is here I start March 1st of this year, which is just around the corner. I have a lot of hope It will be over 3 years, but I feel good about my taper plan. Thankful for this site of encouragement and testimonies - I will be praying for freedom for you all! I've included a photo of my handwritten taper plan. The length of time is in months. Will keep this updated for whoever cares to read. Let's do this.
  4. Hey guys my name is Steve and I grew up with terrible anxiety. I found out around age 12 when i was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and started therapy. Nothing worked and eventually I was prescribed to paxil. I was on roughly 40 mg for at least ten years. At some point i switched it to 20 mg and had no issue doing so. I remained at that 20mg dose for the remainder of my time on paxil. There was a few times i tried to quit unsuccessfully and reinstated. I would have the hardest time breathing, that seems to be my biggest symptom(which was never part of my original anxiety). Now I am 33 and have successfully weaned down from the 20 mg to 0 over the period of a few months. The process was terrible but i managed it knowing that I did not want this stuff to be inside my body any longer. My last dose was exactly 76 days ago. As of lately I have had a lot of shortness of breath and intense anxiety. I still am getting brain zaps and vertigo so I am hoping what i feel is still indeed withdrawal/discontinuation as apposed to a emergence of new anxiety symptoms. Once I fall asleep I seem to have no issues. It seems when I can distract myself I can forget how I am feeling. I was not expecting to get hit with a wave like this at nearly 3 months off. I was hoping someone who has been through this before could shed some light on my issues. thanks
  5. Hi. I Hope someone can help. I have been on 15mg Mirtazapine for 8 months, I started it the end of of September 2017. Stupidly, I went cold turkey for 4 days, didnt like withdrawals (lack of sleep, aches and pains) etc, so I reinstated back to full-dose . After nine days back on 15mg I still had not stabilised. I was improving, but getting dizzy spells, some anger and anxiety. So I reduced my dose to 7.5mg and have been on this dosage for the passed 6 weeks and have been through hellish withdrawals. At present I sleep about 4 or 5 hours and wake with akathisia (anxiety) everyday. This lasts till about 12 midday and then turns to deep depression with some suicidal ideation and general low mood till about 7pm when I start to feel normal again. I did not have this morning anxiety, low mood previous to the drop-in dosage, indeed I have never suffered from anxiety. IS IT TO LATE TO REINSTATE BACK TO 15mg ? as I really can't handle this morning anxiety any more. In summery : 15mg Mirtazapine for 8 months cold turkey 4 days reinstatement 15 mg for 9 days reduced dosage 7.5mg for passed 6 weeks. I must also add that prior to being put on Mirtazapine I was on seroxat (Paxil) for 14 years. It pooped out. My gp cross tapered me from one to the other over 4 weeks. So virtually a cold turkey off the seroxat. After six weeks off the Seroxat I crashed so tried to reinstate that but only lasted 10 days my body just couldn't take it. Whilst the last eight months haven't been great on just 15mg of Mirtazapine due to sensitised CNS from seroxat withdrawal, they were a dam site better than the last 6 weeks. In retrospect I think I should have persevered with the original updosage back to 15mg of Mirt for longer than nine days but I panicked as I thought after only 4 days off I should have stabilised after 2 or 3 In short, after 6 weeks on 7.5mg is it to late to reinstate back to 15mg of Mirt and if I do, how long would it take to stabilise ?. Or should I not rock the boat any further and just stay on 7.5 and hope for things to improve, but symptoms are pretty much unbearable at the moment, I am a complete mess . Please help. Any advice would be much appreciated.
  6. Hello everybody, This is my first post here. I'm feeling terrible right now and could really use some help. Long story short, I reduced my Paxil way too fast. I was taking Paxil 20mg and was reducing it once a week by 2.5 mg. I was coping okay until I reduced from 10 to 7.5 at which point withdrawal started about 5 days to a week later and severe withdrawal began about two weeks at 7.5mg. After two weeks of 7.5mg and the onset of severe withdrawal I upped my dose to 10mg. Felt a bit better, but the withdrawal did not disappear. One week later upped to 15. Still not feeling better, but my symptoms did improve a bit for a time. I stayed on this dose for another just short of 3 weeks. This brings us to two days ago when I started feeling the withdrawal symptoms worst yet again and decided to go back up to 20mg. Today is my third dose of 20mg and I feel terrible today with withdrawal symptoms. Please help. I thought that the withdrawal symptoms would disappear quickly after upping my dose of the drug. Is it unusual that it is taking me so long to stabilize again? It's been almost a month since I upped my dose, why am I not getting better? My withdrawal symptoms are: -extreme fatigue and lethargy -chills -very minor nausea and headache that comes and goes -anxiety Any help would be appreciated so very, very much.
  7. Hi all, I have been checking out this website for a long time but have never posted before. I have been on Paxil for 12 years at a dose of 20 mg. After a failed attempt at stopping the drug in 2012 and thankfully finding this site, I have been reducing slowly for nearly 5 years. I have been reducing using 10% drops every 6-8 weeks. However, there have been times when I have struggled and stayed at a dose for longer periods. I am now at a dose of 0.8 mg. I could really use some advice as I have been really struggling ever since I have dropped below 1.2 mg. My symptoms are sll purely physical and I can't seem to find any 'windows'. I can't help but wonder if I should just stop taking the drugs. Maybe I am experiencing side effects rather than withdrawal at this stage. Has anyone experienced real trouble at such low doses? Thanks for any advice!
  8. Hello! Seeking advice and support having discovered how dependent I am after over 20 yrs of taking paroxetine. Withdrawal symptoms of extreme sustained insomnia, excessive sweating and intense anxiety are making life unbearable and I am horrified at how ignorant I have been about my meds. I now realise GP probably made things worse by suggesting a change to mirtazapine before returning to paroxetine. GP suggested back to 20mg but I couldn't bare the thought of possibly having to repeat the withdrawal so decided on ½ dose (10mg). Not sure if I've done the right thing as still have severe symptoms after 7 days. I now realise all these changes were far too fast but do I hang on to this dose to see if I stabilise and how long do I give it?? I'm just beginning to realise that this is likely to be life changing....not what I'd planned at 58....as may well loose my job and it's a huge strain on family and friends. It's confusing and frightening. See gp on Thurs and feel it would be good to have an idea of what I should be aiming for re medication. He gave me propranolol (a beta blocker) for the anxiety but I've since discovered it could be contributing to the insomnia. Has anyone got any experience of that? With thanks and hoping to be able to share experiences!
  9. Hello, I have recently found this site and it's been a tremendous relief to see other people going through similar things. Withdrawal and anxiety can be such isolating experiences, especially when your doctor or psychiatrist doesn't seem to have any concrete knowledge of the way it works for many people. I began taking 30mg of Paxil in 2004 during an episode of major depression and anxiety. It helped me regain my stability and in addition to the medication I spent many years in psychotherapy. I considered going off the drug many times but even skipping one dose made me feel physically ill and my psychiatrist also warned me that because I had suffered a previous episode of depression, I was likely to relapse. In the fall of 2017, my partner and I decided we wanted to try having a baby and on the advice of my doctor, I began weaning off Paxil, decreasing the dose by 7.5 g each month. I know realize that was probably way too fast but I didn't have any serious problems until I stopped it completely. My doctor's recommendation was to switch to 50mg Zoloft/Sertraline but I wanted to see if I could go without drugs. I lasted a month. At first it was mainly physical symptoms: nausea, dizzines, diahrrea, muscle pain, headaches but then anxiety set in and I ended up in the ER. I began taking 50mg of Zoloft/Sertraline in February buteven after several weeks didn't notice much improvement. They increased my dose to 100 and then 150mg but the anxiety persisted and I got terrible diahrrea and began losing weight at an alarming rate. I went back down to 50mg and continue there. In February, March and part of April (?) I was taking .5mg of Lorazepam each morning and evening to function and sleep but have stopped that. I only take it very occasionally when I really need a good night's sleep or feel a panic attack coming. I have had good weeks and bad weeks and the idea of "windows and waves" really resonates with me. I have a couple weeks where I feel like myself and then the anxiety returns and hangs around for a week or two. I've been taking care of myself as well as possible: exercise, meditation, diet, time with friends, and that helps but it seems like the only thing that is really going to make a difference is time. I have a couple of questions for my fellow SA members'. Do you recommend magnesium citrate? I'm not taking any supplements because I'm trying to get my nutrients from food and I also don't want to get my hopes up that if I just find the right combination of vitamins and minerals and powders that I will be cure. Secondly, I've been taking Zoloft for almost 5 months now and I can't say that I have noticed any huge benefit. It doesn't seem to be helping with the anxiety at all. I don't want to double my withdrawal misery but I also don't want to stay on it too long and make it harder for myself later. I've been contemplating halving my dose and seeing what happens. During the time I was increasing and lowering my dose by 50mg over these previous months, I didn't notice any significant changes in my mood or mental state, FYI. Any thoughts?
  10. Hey everyone, I'm new here and I've seen many helpful threads. There must be lots on Paxil withdrawal but there's so much to go through, I hope y'all can help me out regardless. Basically, I used to be on 40 mg of Paxil. I'm coming off it in order to get on a mood stabilizer, started taking 30 mg before yesterday. I'm experiencing quite the bothersome symptoms: severe dizziness, loss of appetite and feeling numb (rather than me the usual depressed). Can anyone relate to these while having been on the same dosage of Paxil? How are you dealing with the withdrawal symptoms and how long did they last? Thanks for reading and wishing you all well!
  11. Looking for Shep to make a spreadsheet for me. I’m trying to taper Xanax and someone on this site recommended you to make a spreadsheet for me. I need to spread out my doses. I am very scared not sure how to do signature ive tapered to 5mgs of paxil need to spread out Xanax dosing and taper 4mgs
  12. I have spent the last week in bed reading this site over and over, combing through the words, looking for some sign of hope. In 1997 I was placed on Paxil 20mg after a traumatic event; I was 16 at the time. At the time my parents were told I could come off anytime, no risk of anything. As soon as I was put on, I started experiencing very intense side effects but I was also in the throws of severe PTSD with constant panic attacks, insomnia, terror... So it was hard to say which was which. I remained on the Paxil until 2009. In 2009, I decided I wanted to go off. I never thought to google or look online, I just asked my OBGYN. She said that it's best to go slow, and gave me liquid paxil. She said to go down 5mg a month. I wish I could recall the details of how I tapered down between 20 and 8 but I honestly cannot. All I know is that I never had any side effects at all. Sometimes I would have brain zaps, and weird dreams that started just as I dozed off, but for the most part I was A-OK. NO other side effects at all and the ones I did have only lasted a few days at most. Fast forward to this year. After being on 8mg for years, I decided I wanted to try coming off because I was feeling chubby (if I'm being honest). Let me also state that this last year has been, without a doubt the most stressful time of my entire life. We moved, started new jobs, I was sexually harassed at work, I ended up working 3 jobs, nonstop SNS in overdrive. I say this, because I'm honestly not sure if what I am experiencing is Paxil related so I want to give the full details and story here. On February 3rd 2018 I took my liquid Paxil dose from 8mg - 7.5mg. Again, I had never googled this, I just kind of made it up in my head. I didn't know there was anything to even google because other than my OBGYN saying briefly to go down slow, I didn't even know withdrawal was a thing. Everything was great. ZERO side effects. However, in my life, everything fell apart. My 8 year old daughter get very, very ill, I had to quit one of my jobs due to extreme stress and abuse from a man, and money troubles were up. I was truly in a state of full blown stress - even more hormones were a mess. But still, I was going going going because I just don't know when to quit I suppose. Then, on March 5th, I went to bed and couldn't sleep. Each time I would lay down, I'd get a HUGE surge of adrenaline through my entire body. I'd drift to sleep but be woken by these intense jolts that would leave me throwing up. The first night I was afraid, but I was OK. But then when this happened again the second night, and 3rd night, I began to develop second fears and began to become terrified that something was wrong with me. I went straight to the doctor and begged her to help me. She said my chronic stress had caused me SNS to go into extreme haywire and told me to take Xanax to sleep. That night I took the xanax (I think it was .5) and it didn't help me sleep. Instead I just laid there terrified that I wasn't sleeping. At this point, the ONLY thing I was experiencing was insomnia and anxiety related to the insomnia because I am terrified of not sleeping since I was a little girl. I went to my doctor again, and she said it was just the extreme stress from the year and asked me about my Paxil. I told her I was on 7.5 and she said to go to 14mg. I have since read the incredibly informative post about how this is a horrible idea, but again, I had no reason to even suspect anything at all is wrong with Paxil or with the doctor. None. I went home and took the 14mg liquid Paxil on March 28th. On April 2nd I felt great. April 3rd- 9th I was back to my old self 100%, sleeping nonstop, going about my life. I was still a bit worried by the lack of sleep that happened, but tried not to think about it. And then BOOM two days before my period on April 10th, (sorry if TMI) the insomnia came roaring back - same with the adrenaline surges. I have not been able to sleep more than 1 hour at a time since, and when I do sleep I'm not really sleeping. It's like a half awake thing with adrenaline flashes constantly going off in my body. I'm exhausted. Beyond. I thought it was just my hormones going bananas due to the stress. I called a hormone doctor and she said it sounded just like peri-menopause and to come right in. I went two days ago and she said my hormones were crazy and these symptoms sounded like they were hormonal. But something wasn't right. It wasn't just the insomnia anymore - although I'm wondering if the insomnia is what is causing all of my other symptoms. Possible severe Adrenal Fatigue? Nervous breakdown? PTSD with my SNS stuck on? When I read the list of symptoms of Paxil withdrawal every single one fits - but those same symptoms are in line with SNS response from PTSD as well. Sounds, smells, dizzy, insomnia, burning skin, numb hands and feet, severe depersonalization, OCD obsession with looking up symptoms and possible causes all day every single day... I'm coming to you with my heart broken. I miss my beautiful children. I miss my life. I miss my husband and our family. I wish I could go back in time and figure out where I went wrong. Do you think it is possible that going from 8-7.5 on February 3rd could suddenly cause insomnia on March 5th? Even though it was such a tiny decrease and I'd never had any symptoms of withdrawal before? Also, I *know* I made a HUGE mistake taking the Paxil 14mg on March 28th. I hadn't slept since March 4th and I promise I had no clue this could even be bad. I thought Paxil was like a vitamin that fixed a deficiency I had. (Which I've since read on here, is not the truth). Will I eventually stabilize at 14mg? And then go down again from there? How long until I stabilize? If I go down on the 14mg at this point I'll just freak out my body even more, right? If this is adrenal fatigue or PTSD my SNS won't stabilize on the Paxil until those things are remedied? But this whole thing is causing even more PTSD. The nightmares and visions at night are the most horrifying things I have ever experienced. Night after night. Ugh. What do I do now? I SO respect and appreciate the moderators who give such careful and direct advice on here, and I am wondering how they would approach my situation Thank you. I know this is long. I just want to get it all on here to get the best advice for me and my little family. Thank you so much.
  13. Hi everyone. I've been reading this forum for a while to seek help but this is the first time I'm posting something because I'm losing my hope. Sorry in advance if I make some mistakes, English is not my native language. My story starts with when I first went to a psychiatrist for social anxiety. She put me on Paxil 20 mg. And it worked well, making my physical symptoms like racing heart go away. Then at some point, I think it was during the 5th month of Paxil, I suddenly started to feel constantly bored, but at the same time nothing would interest me. That was when I first thought paxil was changing me in a bad way because I had never felt that something like that. I was starting to lose interest in my hobbies too. When I told this to my psychiatrist, she raised the dose to 30 mg which gave me large mystery bruises and didn't help with the bored feeling, so I decided to drop the dose to 15 mg by myself (how smart). I actually told this to another psychiatrist because I was studying at university away from home and had to go to the hospital there. Guess what? He was okay with it. So, probably 2 months with 15 mg, and a month(?) with 7,5 mg, I somehow quicky tapered and quit Paxil because I knew it wasn't doing anything good anymore. (I took it for 11 months in total.) Now, the first withdrawal symptoms... They were terrible. I literally turned into a raging monster for the first two weeks, felt disgusted of myself, wanted to rip my skin off. Like, there was this heavy, disgusting, burning feel in my chest and I just wanted to get rid of it. Those symptoms faded away within a month while loss of interest and anhedonia got stronger. 3 months later, I went to that psychiatrist who said tapering from 30 to 15 was okay and he wanted to put me on Paxil 20 mg again. I was so desperate to get rid of anhedonia so I took one pill and two days later I was already talking with another psychiatrist because I knew Paxil wasn't the answer. She told me that I had MDD and prescribed me Trintellix 10 mg, so I took one pill of that too. It gave me a slightly swollen left eye with a sharp pain inside and I felt the pain was there for 6 days so I thought it's over, I'm done with antidepressants. I started researching online and educating myself. Currently taking supplements like Omega 3, Magnesium and Zinc. Still it's been 6 months since I quickly tapered Paxil and 3 months since I took those last two pills (1 paxil and 1 trintellix). I don't get windows, it's just some days are more bearable but in general I feel like I'm getting more depressed. I was a brilliant student who enjoyed studying, draw everyday, dance or just watch tv shows and laugh. Now, I don't feel anything doing them even if I force myself to do so. I feel apathetic, like a robot. Paxil stole my emotions, passions, creativity and left me with nothing. I don't even remember how I felt during the times I actually enjoyed things. I have zero appetite, my arms and legs feel so heavy (this is a fairly new symptom). Will I ever get my emotions/interest in life back? Is this even normal during withdrawal or is it really MDD? Should I take another supplements? Any advice would be much appreciated. I really wish the best for everyone who suffer from withdrawal symptoms.
  14. Alixxchan

    Alixxchan: Paxil

    I had an immediate reaction to Paxil, for the past month I have been having seizures, nobody knew why. I wasn’t epileptic, and everything was fairly normal, so day before last I was diagnosed with pseudo seizures, told me it was in my head and there was probably some emotional trauma and stress I wasn’t dealing with, and the emergency room doctor prescribed me with Paxil, so next morning comes. I take my Paxil at 8 am. By 9 am, I am having horrible diarrhea, all day long. Around 2:30 I started to get a bit jittery feeling, I start flinging my left hand and pretty soon my whole arm is flailing, I can’t control it, so I decide to go sit on the couch, then my legs start kicking up and down and they go faster and faster, till my whole body is shaking and I’m going into full body convulsions, I start burning up, every thing is hot. My convulsions made me fall off the couch onto the ground, I’m full conscious now, but my arms and legs are still flailing, I’m hitting my hands so hard on the hard wood floor they are starting to bruise but I can’t stop, during all of this my heart rate is at like 165, so my mom calls 911,they said my pupils are dilated and asked if I had taken any drugs today, I say no. Just the Paxil. So we get to the hospital, I’m super unstable at this point, my heart rate is insane, blood pressure is climbing and I’m having full body convulsions every 30 seconds and I’m drenched in my own sweat. The hospital was rude by the way, they were like yeah I guess it could be a reaction to the Paxil, the Paxil their emergency room prescribed but we can’t say fersure, just don’t take it anymore. Here’s some Ativan since you seem to be having some severe Anxiety, which I wasn’t. even with the Ativan it didn’t stop the convulsions completely and my heart rate was still 100, they sent me home maybe like 35 mins of being there and said well it’s gonna take a couple of days to flush it out of your system, here’s your Ativan and good luck basically. All in all terrible experience
  15. I was on Paxil 23 years, prescribed as a result of a car accident/mild brain injury - talk about adding insult to injury......my mood was low, I had chronic pain, raising three young boys while also running a family business......I regret the day I put that first pill in my mouth. I had tried to go off them a few times over the years, always ending up pleading to go back on I felt so terrible...”clearly, my condition had worsened, or so they said” i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 10 plus years ago and amitriptyline was prescribed, in addition to my Paxil. Surprisingly, this condition resolved once i stoped the Paxil? I have recently weaned myself off - drug free Feb/18....during tapering I carefully supplemented with amino acids to avoid the brain zaps (caution needed with amino acids * serotonin syndrome* can cause life threatening event*)......I felt amazing, the unrelenting fatigue was gone for the first time in 23 years, no more fibromyalgia, I was able to easily get out of bed in the morning, no long naps, the likes of which, had become my trademark .......more access to my feelings......unfortunately, this did not last.... Then came the violent persistent suicidal thoughts - from out of nowhere and very unlike me.....the thoughts felt like they were coming from a source other than my own mind if that makes any sense....they became so frightening I stopped all supplementation for fear it might be worsening it, I then tried homeopathy (this is way off the beaten track for me) this has lessened the intensity, they are much more gentle instead of violent but still suicidal thoughts none the less......could this be progress? Feelings of having ruined my life, absolute, utter despair, nothing left to look forward to.......cannot focus - no interest or ability to finish a novel or movie - who cares how it ends.....anger at people ,places and things way out of proportion.....it feels as if all my unfelt emotions over the years are coming to the surface, all at once......I was once very people orientated, enjoyed a good chat and keeping up with friends......now it seems a real burden....some days I do not think I can bear it......but then I get an easier day and it gives me hope that I can heal from this terrible science experiment....and I wonder how many others are struggling just like me........someone mentioned windows and waves - I feel this to be a very helpful way to think about what’s going on ....looking forward to my next window........could it be today? Usually I know almost before I am fully awake if it’s a wave or a window.........I have joined a couple forums such as these and find them to be of tremendous help - Just knowing others have made it to stable ground and that maybe I will too, gives me Hope.
  16. Hi, i'm new to this forum, so forgive me if i make mistakes, i'm still learning. I'm about two years out from withdrawing off of Paxil that i tapered down on, and about one year from one situational exposure to benzodiazepines, and two years from consistent benzodiazepine usage (the klonopin,) as i withdrew both the antidepressant and the benzodiazepine at the same time. I am drug free for an entire year. The drugs tagged in my post are also drugs i have been previously exposed to, or had other exposures in the same class of drugs, (E.g, i have also been exposed to zoloft, prozac, and pristiq in the "Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor" category over the course of 14 years, though paxil was my last exposure to an SSRI drugs.) For the sake of simplicity, i will spare the details. I am posting here today because i am struggling with a couple issues that the specialists i've seen cannot help me with, and i hope to find resources here. I have ruled out thyroid issues, cardiovascular issues, vitamin deficiency in standard ranges, and other infectious disease issues through doctors and testing. I am debating about seeing an endocrinologist, but have lost a lot of faith in medicine since my psychiatric outpatient stent and the answers for my health that continue to elude me. I have listed my main issues below: 1. Fatigue - From what i've read and am trying to understand, fatigue can be a huge factor in antidepressant and benzodiazipine post acute withdrawal because of potential effects on hormones and neurotransmitters. I've also read that amphetamine withdrawal, especially in the context of abuse can cause fatigue, but my exposure to amphetamines was a decade ago, so i don't know if that could still be a contributing factor or not? The fatigue seems to come on intermittently, i drink green tea to help with wakefulness as the fatigue can feel debilitating throughout the day, and i feel like my brain just doesn't want to function on all gears. I am also sensitive to caffeine - if i ingest more than normal it can send me into a panic attack. My intermittent benzodiazepine exposure last year was in part induced by too much coffee, but i used to drink a pot of coffee a day without too much anxiety on paxil. 2. Emotional Blunting - I know that emotional blunting is also a factor in both benzodiazepine and antidepressant use and withdrawal, but i am a little perplexed that i still feel difficulty with emotional attachment. I theorize that this may be due to the benzodiazepine withdrawal mostly, for the reason that benzodiazepines inhibit or prevent neurological recovery from trauma, from what i understand. Is it possible that my body and mind are still in a state of survival even two years out from antidepressant and benzos? I understand that the psychological trauma from years of being medicated may also play a key factor in trust and developing relationships, but that is a psychological piece that should resolve itself through counseling, CBT, once the body begins to function correctly again. My other theory is that all my exposure to drugs over the years, (especially in the context of intermittent antipsychotic and benzodiazipine exposure) has caused irreversible atrophy to the neurological circuitry that is responsible for those functions (pre-frontal cortex and frontal lobe?) I'm looking for any input, resources, or suggestions that might help with those pieces Thanks, - NR EDIT: I don't have any recreational drug exposure either, all my drug exposure has been exclusively psychiatric with the exception of alcohol on a few celebratory occasions. I have also had antibiotic exposures on three separate occasions in the past five years.
  17. Hi All, A bit of history here. I've been on Paxil for around 15 years, maybe longer, but basically I've lost a lot of the feelings I've had for my GF and I realize it's most likely a drug induced issue. Per my signature, I've been tapering since Oct 2013 and am just below the 4 mg mark. Question is, I don't feel it is fair to neither of us that I feel this way and wondering if I should prolong the relationship? I know marriages/relationships have been destroyed by these drugs and I don't want to hurt anyone including myself. I still have some feelings for her although not as strong as before. Mind you, I've been with her for about a year now and at that time I was around 6.2mg of paxil a day. I do exhibit the typical symptoms of lack of libido, emotions, wanting to be by myself etc. Any input is appreciated. Thank you
  18. I was on paxil 10 mg for three months for social anxiety. I decided one day to quit cold turkey after I no longer found it effective. My anxiety was back. I experienced the following symptoms asa result of quitting: a free falling sensation , brain zaps, dizziness, extreme anxiety as I never had before. Although I have been offtbis medication for 2 weeks, J am still gaining weight ...while being on this med, I gained 20-29 lbs! Sad. Very very sad i was always small....about 100 pounds or 110 lbs (the most). Now, I weight 129 lbs. Awful. Try homeopathic remedies if you can. Exercise and surround yourself with nice great people. Eat healthy and make sure to get plenty of sun light. All the best to all of you out there.
  19. serrj

    serrj: Paxil

    Hello, I'm serrj I'm 35yo ukrainian expat living in Netherlands. 4 years ago I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and hypochondria. Things wend bad very rapidly, during few months I was turned from a normal healthy men to a miserable clot of nerves with no ability to eat, sleep, work, and live. Stupid Dutch healthcare system threw me from one GP to another with no help. The only medicine I was prescribed was Oxazepam during the day and Temazepam for sleep at night. Non of them helped me with depression, so after a months of struggling I ended up at specialist in special clinic for mental disorders. This is where my Paxil road begins. I started with 40 mg/day, though doctor insisted I need 60. It started to work almost immediately: most symptoms went away in weeks, I tappered from benzos and I felt totally "cured" after around 3 month. There were side effects as well, but I could live with that. In june 2015 I made a first attempt to tapper. At dosage ~5mg/day I started to have severe heart arrhythmia, I even ended up in ER once. So I returned to 20mg and stayed on this dosage until beginning of 2017. During whole 2017 I gradually reduced dosage by 5mg: 20,15,10,5,2.5.. I've been on 2.5 mg/day for few month now and last week decided it is time to stop. So 20 of March 2018 for my last intake. Surprisingly, I felt totally fine 6 days after, which made me confident that there will be no withdrawals at all. I was so naive. It hitted me on day 7: mood swing, anxiety, confusion, lost of appetite, stomach and chest pain. Last night I didnt sleep at all, despite all effort and right now I feel myself just horrible. The worst nightmare, hell on earth. Totally depressed, pain in whole body, anxiety, fear, you name it. And and have a full-time job that I can easily lose if it will continue like this. This morning I even had suicidal thoughts. I'm desperate Should I return to last working dosage? (2.5mg/day) Or is it too late? And sorry about my English, I'm not native speaker and obviously cannot concentrate now..
  20. mary2

    mary2: paxil

    I tried to introduce myself but it said locked on page. So I'll say hello hello here. I'm on my 2nd decrease of paxil. I'm doing well. I found very useful the 10% reduction procedure. I find magnesium and taking paxil at bedtime better. Thank God you exist. I use the Gemini weighing machine and it v works well. I have liquid but it's too concentrated cos 20 drops to 20mg. It's so nice to have other people.
  21. Hi All i am finally down to Paxil and Mirtazapine. My doctor plans to taper me off 15 mg of Mirtazapi me. I’ve been taking it for about 8 months. I’ve been on 60 Paxil for 3 months. That’s the next to go.
  22. I got up to a dose of Paxil 60 mg for about 2years. I found a new psychiatrist who gave me a psychotropic gene assay via buccal swab. He told me Paxil does not work well in my body instantly reduced to 40 for about 5 weeks. Met with Dr, with gene test results Reduced down to 20mg. and in one week will go to 10mg. I feel dizzy, more comfortable by myself. Keep sending spouse to be with friends. Not laughing and light like i usually am. Some confusion when driving. i dont want to feel this way forever thats for sure.
  23. Ok, so here goes again, I had the unfortunate luck of being thrown into this horror for actually no reason at all. Back in September 2003 got sick and was given an antibiotic never had any problems before with them so i took em. Well, two weeks later not putting 2+2 together I went to the. Doc because I literally couldn't walk and had severe insomnia , like not a wink of sleep for a week also, couldn't hold onto power tools because the vibration was EXTREEM muscles stiff and sore all over and urinated almost black one night. They did tests and found nothing MRI blood. He said it was anxiety and I needed paxil, I was in horrific shape and said ok. Never had anxiety before though. Five years go by and I tapered off in March 08 things are great until I get chest infection in August. I get another antibiotic and after a few weeks, INSOMNIA, HORRIBLE PAIN, CANT WALK, TERRIBLE NIGHT SWEATS, I realize this is what happened 5 years prior and called my doc to find out what he gave me the first time I went nuts. LEVAQUIN!!! the same crap I had just finished. I begged for paxil again to straighten me out because I thought that is what fixed me the first time. Oh, he also said antibiotics can't do that, yeah right, a normal one doesn't but the atomic bomb of antibiotics can and its called a flouroquinolone. I had been FLOXED. Well, after miserable startup effects the paxil worked again and now I knew it was not me that went nuts the first time and thought paxil was harmless and made me more mellow. I read all the horror stories on paxilprogress back in 2003 when I was looking this stuff up and thought these were just weak people and the stuff is fine. I decided in 2011 to come off in one months time from 10mg. And this time weird stuff happened to me , I was reliving my teen life (which was awesome) like a tape playing over and over and songs repeating over and over and hyper excited constantly with huge adrenaline rushes. I had no idea what it was and I just pushed on. Until I found my father dead in his yard a day after he drove my mom to airport for vacation at my sisters. He was in 98F full sun all day and I found him after he failed to pick up his best buddy, my son for tae kwon do . It was not pretty there were bugs and sunken blackened eyes and just not the way you would want to remember someone. Well, in my weakness I figured I'll go back on my 10 mg. again and after lousy startup it went ok but not the same, then I noticed I was not doing all my favorite things and realized that over ten years MANY of my passions left me. So in February 13 one month taper again and 1.5 months later all hell breaks loose with insomnia terrible foot sensations and many other things like anhedonia and no libido , fog and all the usual things people get. Reinstated again and figured I would do it right. Come November 2013'i got stress fracture in foot and was taking huge amounts of NSAIDs and all of a sudden I went into withdrawal with extreme sound sensitivity and everything else. In December I kicked a table so hard it triggered an autoimmune disease which no one in my family has called psoriatic arthritis and I am sure it is withdrawal related and painfull as hell and 1 year later my foot is still swollen and now I have minor psoriasis too that my dermatologist says is rare to start at 46 years old. In January 2014 I began my 10% taper and was ok until sept. When severe withdrawal hit and the great people from PP talked me through not reinstating, I was at about 2.35. I got better but I still have daily or weekly window wave patterns but never feel normal yet. I usually only get 4 hours of sleep per night and twitch all over and no more night sweats in like 8 months. I do. Notice my sensation on fingers and feet are greatly exaggerated and I have become ticklish again ( I used to have to fake it when my little ones tickled me now it really happens). I work full time in construction and I fell exhausted every day but can't sleep, although last night I made six hours which has been extremely rare. The doctors want me on humira for my arthritis but I am holding out hope that my immune system may change when I'm off for good in a few weeks. I am currently on .8 mg and I am very scared of dropping off soon. Sorry for the long post but there it is.... Oh and my taper was lost with the closing of PP but it was generally 10% every 4 weeks or so unless I felt good I went quicker but was at nine almost a year goo and now .8 so I think it was ok.
  24. Hi everyone! I'll update my signature later but basically my long story made short for now...is that in the beginning of 2010 Effexor began to poop out after 5 years of slowly increasing dosages. I was having intense anxiety and derealization and the only explanation my Dr had was that it was the effexor and it was time to come off. He tapered me from 262.mg over 3 months while adding a small dose of Celexa a bit at a time. A month after being done Effexor and being on 40mg of Celexa, I had a significant, sudden, awful experience. Massive anxiety, derealization and suicidal awful confused and dark thoughts. Akathesia so bad i could not sit still and had to walk fast, or keep pacing in the house. I cut my dose in half that night and immediately felt relief from the suicidal thoughts and terror. The anxiety and chills, unreality or derealization disconnect, nausea, diarrhea and shakes, lasted for another 7 months with no relief, even while we attempted Ciprolex and eventually Paxil. I lost 30 pounds during that 7 months and truly thought my life and self as I had known it, were over. I finally began to stabilize and then decided it was time to get off all SSRI's. I was originally given meds to combat post partum depression and by now I figured that was in the past and my Dr agreed, it was time to get off everything. I am now tapering my paxil very slowly, and am down from 20mg to 10mg. In the meantime i still get these waves of intense anxiety, akathesia, chills, shakes, diarrhea and nausea, and a sense of profound unreality that come over me. these spells last about 2 months, and then fade and I'm left feeling pretty good, with the exception of dulled emotions and no motivation. I figure that might be from the Paxil, while the stronger waves of symptoms are still from coming off effexor too fast 21 months ago. I haven't had one of these intense waves since July, but since then have had milder versions of them, that are shorter. Considering that I'm 21 months out, maybe it's time the waves are going to get milder and easier to handle now, I'm hopeful for that! I find when I taper my paxil i do have symptoms but they aren't as strong as these other waves I get, and have had since coming off the effexor (even prior to tapering paxil). maybe this will make more sense when I create a signature,lol ...Either way, i feel SO much better now than i did even last year. I have full faith that I will eventually recover 100% and also finish this paxil taper and get back to my life. This has been a very long and frightening 3 years, and i am so looking forward to being me again! If I could change anything I would say I should have reinstated my original medication when w/d hit, and then come off much slower. However, we had no idea what the issue was, so we tried different meds instead, and that was not the answer. But here's to a new year and a new journey, with healing every step of the way.
  25. This site has been a sanctuary for several months and I would like to thank AltoStrata, her fellow Admins and all posting members for the invaluable information shared in the various forums. In this most confusing and isolating phase of my life so far, you have all helped me to feel less alone, less confused, and important teachers. I believe I may have created a meds signature line in my sign-up form, but if not I will correct that shortly. Briefly, I realized I was in a polypharmacy rut in February of this year. Prozac 10 or 20 mg (?) from early 1997 to early 1998. Newly sober, the Paxil caused "speediness" and I was switched to Paxil - Paxil 20mg/day (depression/anxiety) from 1998 to approximately Spring 2007. I simply stopped taking it after running out, was in long-term therapy and did not think twice about leaving such a "small thing" behind. Even though there were large stressors at work. The state of lability, extreme depression, dysphoria, DP, DR (terms I did not know then) were horrendous. I returned to the original psychiatrist who tried me on various other meds for a hellish 2 months, never once mentioning I might be in withdrawal from stopping the Paxil. The last straw was an Effexor trial, which put me in a state of agitation, physical heat, and inability to leave bed beyond imagination. It took months to find a new Psychiatrist, which happened about February 2008. He felt I had simply been on too small a Paxil dose - I had heard about "poop out" by that time but he dismissed it - I had not heard about withdrawal on Paxil cessation and he did not mention it. He put me back on Paxil and built up slowly from 10 to eventually 60mg. Unfortunately I don't remember the timeline for that buildup. However, 60mg became the maintenance dose at which I remained until Feb. 2017 of this year - nearly 10 years. He also became my psychotherapist and had a wonderfully humane aspect to him to which I attribute most of the great healing that happened over the first 3-4 years. My life became strong and rich and fulfilling again - in all areas. In 2010 there was a collision of traumatic stressors in work and family. As well, somatic experience of panic, high anxiety and heart palpitations such as I'd never experienced since childhood episodes of severe abuse became frequent. I made certain decisions in my life. We continued the meds and the therapy. In June (?) 2012 - after months of persistent inner agitation, weepiness, anxiety (following death of family member), he added Ativan 0.5 at night. A year later he added another 0.5 in the am. A year after that he added another 0.5 at noon. I can not know with any certainty but based on everything that I have read about tolerance and withdrawal with Paxil and Ativan, I believe that I experienced pre-taper withdrawal-like symptoms for several years. I wish I had known then - when he began adding the benzo to the Paxil - what I know now. I had trusted him so completely as a person and a professional. Fast forward to February 2017. He announced abruptly that he was closing his practice - in 3 months. We had been working together for about 9 years. The anxiety caused by the announcement led him to increase my RXs for Paxil to 80 and to double Ativan to 1mg 3 times a day. He acknowledged that the 2 drugs did not appear to be "working" or "ideal" anymore. Sadly I think his priority at that point was to get to the end of the three months without liability - so it was easier to simply up the meds and "explore referral options." Two months on the upped prescriptions saw me living like an outpatient in a chemical straightjacket - as a full on zombie. I found my way to Mad in America and the literature on iatrogenic psychotropic drug injuries, the psychiatric profession's blind faith in the hypothesis of the "chemical imbalance", and the frightening stories about withdrawing from SSRIs and benzodiazepines - especially the 2 I was prescribed. This was all quite frightening and overwhelming. I was able to find a wonderful and sympathetic therapist. The zombie straightjacket was too much. I decided to taper myself back to my "baseline" though no-longer-working (even according to the Psychiatrist) polypharmacy of Paxil 60mg and Ativan .05 3 times a day. I did that from April to August. Symptoms ranging from extreme loss of appetite, acute DP/DR, extreme and sudden heart palpitations and anxiety, and a slow-motion hyper depressive grey movie in the background looping "this is the end of the road for me" movies - but always behind a screen. The gestalt in terms of doing anything is a 1000 mile distance between a flourishing idea or thought and any action to carry it out. Including washing dishes! The search for a meds doctor who is sympathetic to a patient wishing to taper off psychotropic drugs that no longer work and are causing is still on. I will be meeting one next week, and I believe his name does appear on a list of potentially knowledgeable providers somewhere on this site. I will report back. He appears to be familiar with tapering patients off psychotropic drugs and he is also a holistic treater with experience in acupuncture, something called "functional psychology" (?), and other holistic practices. Thanks to SA I shall have with me a lot of information to discuss - very calmly - with him, including the formula of tapering 10% (vs. last dose), listening to the body even within a tapering protocol, and the question as to whether the Paxil or the Ativan should be tapered first. (I saw a psychiatrist one month ago who wrote out a taper schedule for Ativan that was very aggressive - I modified it and have "held" at an early stage after feeling my body rebelling and reading here about the 10% recommendation. Same psychiatrist was ready to have me start tapering Paxil simultaneously until I mentioned perhaps it was not a great idea and he very quickly agreed. Those fancy degrees, Research Hospital affiliations, decades of experience .... That's another story.) I wish to thank you all from the bottom of my heart - for being here.
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