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  1. pete333

    Pete333 33 years

    Hello, I've suffered with depression for 33 years. 12 years with no medication because I thought I just needed to try harder. Finally my father, who had suffered with it too found me a helpful church counselor who convinced me I needed medicine. This saved my life. The first medicine Anafranil kept me from suicide. It got me back to work more steadily and made me able to live. Then I started 21 years of Zoloft and then Paxil. Oh, with 3 years of Pexeva in between and it was fine. But government insurance changes forced me back on Paxil the last 3 years or so. I lost my 26 year marriage. The day after my mom died my wife asked for a divorce and exploded my family. I had only 1 son who partly stayed with me for the last 5 years. The other still treats me well but lives with his mother. She and I are on good terms and I am a Christian who doesn't believe in divorce. Just FYI with some of this stuff. About 5 years ago i couldn't work any longer and it was the excuse my wife needed to do what she wanted. Anyway it left me alone with idleness and depression and lonliness in a new town where I could afford to live. 6 months ago I went back to my original counselor and wanted to try to taper off, which she is good with. BTW, my GP knows nothing and just wants to try new meds. Ive tried them all and can only take a few. So, after gut trouble started 14 months ago I have was taken down from 30 mg to 20 mg Paxil. Didn't suffer that I noticed. Then I noticed that in a 6 month period of time I had missed 25 days of Paxil. So I had steadily and accidentally tapered to what amounted to about 15 or so MG. Vitamin B complex made me angry! I am afraid to take 5htp with Paxil. Any suggestions on safe supplements? Will my gut ever get any better? My family tends to have IBS D anyway and I have had it for 14 months and am trying to live on Imodium. This site came highly recommended as experts in the field. I have only met one psychiatrist who knew what he was doing in 33 years. So........... Pete
  2. Forgive the strange title: I believe those words relate to an ancient Zen story. Anyway: a little about me....I have been on Seroxat (Paxil) for close to 20 years, have tried 2 or 3 times before to quit it, I am over 6 weeks into my latest attempt, and it ain't easy just now. I have done a gradual tapering; I used to just about (but not really) get by on 20mg....Ended up during that time living and working in another country ? , finally burnt out over there and admitted defeat. Came back to the UK. On the advice of family, went up to 30mg (not for the first time). The recent tapering has involved: back to 20mg for at least 6 months; then down to 10mg for over 6 months....Down to nothing for the last 6 weeks. (With hindsight, and reading a couple of other posts on here, etc, I realise this was probably too quick). I would say all withdrawal symptoms are mental rather than physical; although I know these two aspects are intimately linked and interacting, I've done it slowly enough to avoid any of the classic "shock" sensations associated with Paxil - or what one might call "Seroxat Flu".... Also, my sleeping patterns don't appear to be too much disturbed. Not too long after I returned from another country my father died. I am 42 years old and lost my mother to cancer at the age of 13, so am effectively now a middle-aged orphan. Have one sibling, a sister, who also has mental health problems, but there is much bitterness and anger between us (even though we do deep down love each other). We haven't spoken for about 6 months. She accuses me of only ever contacting her when I have a problem or am down, so I'm fairly stuffed down that avenue at the moment ? I have never had a proper romantic relationship...Almost hardly ever had sex - and usually not got much "out of it" due to the SSRIs and probably some emotional problems too. I was diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder in 2000....I am just about managing to hold that at bay at present, but depression and some catastrophic thinking patterns are vying for space in my mind.....I am trying to stay in the moment as much as possible, trying to meditate....Some sporadic success here does alleviate some of the emotional pain occasionally. I try to treat myself to certain material things, or life events, every so often, and that helps also. When my dad died, I inherited more money than I have had in my life; but it is relatively little considering the cost of living in the UK these days. I have already squandered a small fraction of that money on one occasion on a girl - an example of lust over love, my own vulnerability and loneliness and naevity - but I have mentally put that behind me. I tentatively manage to hold down full-time work; how well I am actually functioning at work depends on each individual perspective of my various coworkers - as strange and obtuse as that sounds. I suppose I am trying to say that I gel well, in terms of compatibility and likeability, with certain coworkers far more than others. Anyway. I have written far more than most people would easily be able to digest in one sitting.....If you got this far then thank you so much ?
  3. Hello! I was given a suggestion to come to this site. I am in the middle of a mess. I was on Paxil for 15 years, never more than 40, mainly 20. About 4 months ago, I started to taper because I wanted off medications. I don't like taking medicine. I took it for severe anxiety issues and thought I was better. I tapered and was off it for 6 weeks. I thought I was doing great. Brain swooshes were gone, flashing lights were gone. Last week I started getting up tight and thought I had a UTI. Went to see the doctor and she seemed to think it was withdrawal, even after 6 weeks. I was not sure, but thought she might be right. She suggested Celexa. I started it on Friday night and by Saturday, I was a raving mess. Nausea, diarrhea, "doom cloud", just horrible. Got thru Sunday and yesterday I decided to take 10 mg of Paxil, thinking getting back on it is better and feeling better is what I need to do. Yesterday was horrible. Last night was bad. Today is bad. I took another 10 mg this morning, hoping for relief. I know it won't happen immediately, but I did this once before and was off 2 weeks and got back on. Maybe I waited too long to get back on, I don't know. I just know feeling like this is horrible. I'm going back to doctor this morning in the hopes of help. Any input would be appreciated. I know I have anxiety issues, I have had them all my life, but I thought at this stage of life ... good job, good life ... I could do without medication. I'm obviously mistaken.
  4. A week ago I lost emotions for my boyfriend which is very weird cause I know that I love him dearly. I remember praying for a good man to love and a couple of months later Xander shows up:) And he has been nothing but amazing and supportive with my WD. I'm confused cause once I felt like I lost feelings started happening, I started to think women were more attractive than Xander. I know its crazy cause I'm straight. I have never thought like this ever before while I was with Xander or any other man. I had experimented with only one women and it was only one time. And that was a year ago. And that was that. After that experience didn't want to do it again. And after that time I would only talk to men and have casual sex with them if I wanted. You can say before Xander I was sort of a tramp. Haha. I know theres nothing wrong with being gay. My sibling (sister/brother) is gay and I love her so much. But I honestly don't want to be gay. And I'm scared that this WD is gonna make me end up gay and when I recover I'll literally be gay:( I know that sounds weird but thats how my thoughts are. And I don't want to lose what I have with Xander cause deep deep down I still love him so much. I need help:(
  5. I take 5 mg. of Paxil, daily. I cut my pills. Brain zaps start after missing one day. I don't see how I can half my dose. Any suggestions?
  6. I have a question. I too have been on Paxil for 15 yrs. I started hearing music in my mind referred to as auditory hallucinations. Is it possible to have withdrawal symptoms while still on the med if it poops out on you?
  7. Hello, I have been on paxil since I was 16 years old. I'm now 34. I was never depressed. I've always had adhd which escalated to some anxiety a psych visit and a script for paxil that I have never escaped. The first time I ever felt true depression was when I tried to quit taking paxil. I was told this was depression resurfacing and a sign the medication is working. I now realize this was simply withdrawls. I have had insane electric shocking sensations, sensitivity to sound, light, mood swings aggression, confusion ect. when trying to quit. I believe my withdrawl process would take years. I believe the last few mg's will be the very hardest. I am interested in hearing any suggestions.
  8. Help needed..I tapered to 7.5 ish without a problem. Now all hell breaks loose if I try to go further. What should I do? 10% drops no longer work. The results of the drop are so devastating I cannot function, panic attacks all night, lack of sleep builds up and I end up a total basket case ready for the hospital. So I reinstate back to a "normal feeling and life is normal. The drug haze lifted at about 10mg so I am O.K. Would like to get off Paxil but don't have to. Any ideas are welcome. Alice
  9. I'm taking 10mg Paxil I took 5mg before to which I experienced irritability, mood worsening and increased anxiety so im back to 10mg. My pdoc prescribed 20mg Prozac to take with 10mg Paxil for a month. I know tho deep down that he wants me to take an ssri and stay on it (e.g Prozac) for I don't know how long. This is a new pdoc. The previous one doesn't even want me off Paxil for f sake! Anyway, my plan is Week 1: 10mg Paxil, 10mg Prozac Week 2: 5mg Paxil, 10mg Prozac Week 3: 0mg Paxil, 10mg Prozac then stay on Prozac for a month then taper slowly (10% each month) Would this work?? Please help! P.s I've seen this post here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1463-the-prozac-switch-or-bridging-with-prozac/ but im confused which method works best.
  10. Hello, I am new to the forum. Long story short... I have been on Paxil for 15+ years now. I was started on it after developing anxiety/depression after acquiring visual snow syndrome vs persistent migraine symptoms at age 18. It seems the visual may have been triggered by panic after illicit drug experimentation. Prior to starting the Paxil, I had developed trails off of moving objects, a feeling of depersonalization/derealization, and the illusion of objects wavering if I stared long enough. My psychiatrist placed me on Zoloft to start along with as needed clonazepam. I eventually switched to Paxil and most of my symptoms came under very good control. At least, my anxiety about the visual phenomena was well controlled. Eventually, I stopped clonazepam alltogether. Things went relatively well for the following 15 years. I graduated from college, had plenty of friends and enjoyed my life, rarely thought about the visuals, eventually went to grad school, met a great girl, and have been practicing in medicine for the past 3-4 years. All the while, I remained on Paxil at ~ 15 mg daily. Unfortunately, there was a period of extreme emotional stress 2-3 years ago when the girl and I were "on the rocks". It was an awful time as we were living in separate states and were seeing other people. I couldn't sleep, couldn't focus at work, wasn't eating, etc. I ended up increasing my Paxil dosage to 20 mg and taking a clonazepem nightly to get some sleep. During that turmoil, I stupidly smoked some pot with friends to try and forget things. I hadn't done that in like 8 yrs so it was a shock to the system. On one occasion, I experienced a sort of panic attack and had a migraine the following day. About 1-2 months later, I started to notice severe photophobia, followed by prolonged afterimages, trails, and a constant daily headache that seemed to stem from my palate/jaw. Ironically, the girl and I worked things out and are now engaged to be married!! We have been doing relatively well except all the sxs have continued to worsen. These recurrences of symptoms reminded me of those I had experienced from 15 yrs earlier, but much worse. They have persisted for the past 2+ years!! It seems that in moments of heightened stress, the visual symptoms become much worse. I have tried a few treatments, mainly targeting the headaches (Lamictal, Nadolol, Verapamil, Nortriptyline), none of which helped. I have even tried slowly tapering the Paxil, thinking it may be the culprit. I have only made it from 15 down to 10 mg. This brings me to my question... I have started Gabapentin 300 mg at night in hopes that it will ease the facial pain/headaches. I have been on it for 1 month now and only experiencing worsening visual symptoms including longer trails/afterimages and now significant blurred vision. I have grown MUCH more anxious over the worsening of symptoms and general despair of the situation. I am not sleeping well and fear things will continue to worsen. My neurologist wants me to switch from Paxil to Lexapro in hopes that it may help with the pain and facilitate coming off the Paxil once and for all. She is certain that it is safe to do a sudden switch, dropping 10 mg of Paxil and starting 10 mg of Lexapro in the same night. My fear is that I will go into an awful w/d from the Paxil while the Lexapro is ramping up. She is certain this won't happen since they work on similar receptors so the Lexapro should't take 6 weeks to get into the system. Is this true? Is it wiser to cross-taper? Should I continue to taper Paxil completely before starting Lexapro? Should I stop the Gabapentin as it may be worsening the visuals? I fear that I will develop worsening visual symptoms regardless. I am aware go the horror stories about SSRIs causing visual snow, etc. I just know from my history that the Paxil HELPED the visual symptoms initially. Thanks for any and all advice.
  11. I ve been on Paxil for 2 years. I really would like to go off of it, especially because of the weight gain!! I feel I am ready for this. I am on 20 mg once a day. What I would really love is a chart of some sorts to follow. Day by day.... My Dr. suggested I think about going off of Paxil. And Id like to do it! Is there any chart I can print out? I did try before, but the "brain zaps" were too much. I didnt taper slow enough I think. thanks!!
  12. Hello, I've been on Paxil 20mg for 20 years. 2 years ago I weaned off it only to experience worsening depression and suicidal thoughts. I had to start to take it again and the doctor added Wellbutrin. I'm also on Trazadone for sleep and anxiety. I struggle 70% of the time with oversleeping,no sex drive,loss of appetite, and actually making myself take walks, go to work etc..my question is is my antidepressants working? Thanks
  13. Hello to my fellow SSRIs survivors out there! It's been one hell of a ride for all of us, hasn't it? The good news is that the healing does happen. I'm one of you - many years spent on the drugs and then after going off of those experiencing the protracted WD-syndrome. I've been off of SSRIs for more than two years now - the improvement is undeniable, yet many symptoms are still present. Judging by the progress so far, though, the healing willl eventually take place. Good luck to everybody!
  14. Hello Everybody! In December 2010 (I just turned 21) I started taking Paxil because I was having severe anxiety (Agoraphobia / Emetophobia). After intensive therapy I made a good recovery which allowed me to pick up daily life (the Anxiety is never completely gone, but it no longer has a big impact on my life). I tried to stop twice and twice this failed extremely hard. By then me and my psych/GP thought it was easy and with todays knowledge I can say that the failures were probably due to way to fast withdrawal schedules (first time I halved to 10mg and stopped the week after.. second time I reduced by 2mg each week). Early summer 2016 I was feeling better than ever on every aspect of my life, but in the second half of the summer suddenly I started feeling worse. Fatigued, unmotivated, tingling sensations and a somewhat drugged/absent feeling. Even though I did feel familiar (to Paxil symptoms, which I had a lot the first ~2-3 months when starting Paxil each time) I did not immediately link it to my medication due to no increase in anxiety. However after a thorough checkup (both physically and mentally) without any other possible finding the only remaining hypothesis was the sudden change in how my body responded to the medication. I decided to start tapering of paxil, but this time I would be prepared: I found out about the 5-10% in 3-6 weeks schedules and found a psychiatrist to help me with my tapering. I also switched to liquid Seroxat to make tapering easier. My plan was to start with tapering 10% each 4 weeks and only reduce dosage once I felt mainly stable/good during the last week. The first taper step went good with only minor/innocent side effect. The second step already became a bit heavier especially with the addition of headaches and eye floaters both of which reduced my daily productivity/concentration. However after 5 weeks I felt stable/better and decided to taper again. The first week on my new dosage (14.4mg) went surprisingly well. But after that suddenly everything changed: The anxiety came back in full force. In addition I felt hunted/restless, nauseous, vague/absent (like I'm a spectator in my own life), still had headaches, almost no energy, heart palpitations and sometimes hyperventilating. We are now three months further and I slowly/steadily start feeling better each week but still feel far from stable (more like a house without foundation which could collapse any moment). Besides all I remain positive and hope to feel better in a couple of weeks, but I am uncertain of what to do next: - I could continue tapering Paxil as if nothing happened, but given the insane symptoms I just recovered from I might consider a smaller step of 5%. - An alternative could be, due to the heavy symptoms in a this early stage of tapering to switch to an AD which is famous for being still-horrible-but-slightly-less-horrible-than-parox with regards to tapering and withdrawal symptoms. I found this topic on this site which states this and that Prozac is often used for this. I can not decide what to do.. hopefully this and other topics on this site will help me make this decision..
  15. Hello everyone, I'm new here from Montreal, Canada. I'm almost 40 years old, had been taking Paxil 20mg for almost 7 years, for general anxiety. Started withdrawal from Paxil couple months ago. Doctor prescribed 10mg to take in alternance with 20mg for the first month. Now I'm at 10mg everyday. Next month will be 10mg and none in alternance. And the month after that nothing. Couple years ago I had started withdrawal, but waaayyy to fast, and it did not go well at all (suicidal toughts, etc.) Now with my doctor it's going pretty well, but I have side effects such as dizzyness, hot flashes, nervousness. Are these side effects normal? Will they pass enventually? Thank you! Talk to you soon!
  16. freakZ0ne: Hi folks - I'm a 61 year old guy with lifelong depression precipitated by PTSD from childhood trauma. Prescribed antidepressants 1994. Tried many SSRI's and took Paxil from 2004 to present. Now have tapered off completely. Suffering with various symptoms like brain zaps, headaches, crying spells, black moods, irritability, distrust, paranoia, poor sleep with bad dreams. I want to feel my feelings and not mask myself with any drugs. Want to regain sexual functionality. Exploring using all natural ways of dealing with emotional issues with supplements, herbs, meditation, yoga and the like. Need support. Thanks!
  17. Hi everybody, I've been on paxil for over 10 years at 20 mg daily, and 4 month ago I tried to stop takin it, but I ended in a livin hell! After two month after stopped the drug I started to have bad vertigo, palpitation, anxiety, and depression. I decided I had to reinstate Paxil but I did it at full dosage of 20mg. After 4 days I started to have stomach pain, hypertension, muscle cramps, and severe agitation to to the point I couldn't stay sit for more than 20 seconds. My life quality since this episode changed dramatically because some of the symptoms are still there, in particular stomach pain, muscle cramps, vertigo and anxiety. I tried a second time with Paxil at 5mg daily but still at the fourth day I had bad muscle cramps during the night. I don't know what to do! I'd like to reinstate and find again that equilibrium but now I fear to take Paxil again! My doctor suggested me lexapro at low dose like 2mg but I heard bad stories about this drug after Paxil. Please give me a suggestion, my life is going on a downhill and I can't stop it. Please help me!
  18. I have been on Seroxat for about 10 years and each time my depression gets worse the dose is increased. It was actually suggested by a psychiatrist that I should take 100mg, although I refused. Since last year I have gradually reduced from 70mg to 50mg. The trouble is I have terrible withdrawal symptoms even if I reduce by a tiny amount. I get really bad physical symptoms, but also get incredibly irritable and angry. My GP is not very supportive about reducing.
  19. If you or a loved one gave birth to a child with a heart defect after taking Paxil (paroxetine, Seroxat) while pregnant, email me and we''ll talk. I am a free-lance writer specializing in medical harm. My email address is patrickhahn (at) hotmail.com.
  20. I was prescribed Paxil over 20 years ago. About 5 years ago I was able to reduce from 20 to 10 mgs with no withdrawal symptoms. Over the past few years I was very fatigued, sleeping for 12 hours a day but not feeling rested at all. Recent bloodwork showed high cortisone levels. Doctor recommended to get off the Paxil by reducing it in 5mg for 2 weeks, then take 5mg every other day. On day 10 of the original reduction, I experienced some withdrawal symptoms such as nausea, headache, body aches, and lack of sleep. Those symptoms seemed to subside so I continued on to the next stage and took 5 mg every other day. Within a few days severe withdrawal symptoms became so debilitating I could hardly function. I truly felt as though I neede to be hospitalized if I was going to get off this crap! After much research, I have discovered that my doctors advice in the way to reduce my Paxil was totally wrong! I will continue to take 5 mgs daily until I can safely reduce in smaller increments. I am hoping to be able to get the liquid form of Paxil in order to make it easier. It's the fact that the Paxil is directly related to my current health issues so I must get off this drug!
  21. Miranda

    Miranda: Paxil

    Hello everybody My name is Miranda, im from the Netherlands... Start tapering on my own 3 years ago from 20 to 10 mg... feeling weird sensations at that time..but really didnt know it were al withdrawals... Now im tapering from 10 mg to 0 ...started augustus 2015 ....im on 2.57ml ..that is 5.14mg... im doing the 5% taper... Stil doing well...trying to eat healthy..excersise....etc.. Today im having the hot feeling in my body..i know this feeling from the first time i taperd from 20 to 10 mg...dont like it!! Im glad that i found these group ...and is found it true people on fb we have pages there... Hope you are all hanging in there.. Big Hug Miranda
  22. Hello all, I am new here and so glad I found this site in my research. I have been on Paxil 20 mg since college about 18 years ago when I was seeing the school psych for mild depression due to college and my young marriage breaking up. Sometimes I am so mad at the Dr. who put me on this stuff I just want to scream. I have spent many years with many different doctors trying their recommendations for getting off Paxil. They have included everything from cold turkey, to large drops, to alternating dosages on different days. All Epic Fails! I finally have a family physician who not only understands but has had to wean off an anti-depressant before herself. Now I have been using the liquid form for about three to four months and it was going very well. I have been dropping 2 mg from 20 mg about every two weeks. The first week I have some symptoms like head fog, dizzy, anger,etc. Then it seems to level out and the second week I feel great. I thought after many failed attempts of weaning off I was actually getting somewhere. Currently I am down to half of my original dose to 10 mg for the last two weeks and this weekend, BAM out of no where, I had my first ever panic attack. The last couple of days have been so out of whack with panic and fear and I really don't know what to do or why this is happening now after doing so well. Reading posts here I realize maybe I was going to fast, but I was having success and now I am ready to go back up because I am so scared. Any advice or experiences would be welcome! I just don't know what to do.
  23. So I was on 30 mg of Paxil for the last year and 20 the year before. I was having too many side effects (weight gain and memory loss were the big ones) so I asked the doctor to change my meds. She had me drop down to 20 mgs of Paxil then switch directly to 25 mgs of Zoloft. With the Zoloft I had severe vertigo. So I found myself weaning off of it. I know I weaned too quickly but I could not function at all yet I didn't want to go back on Paxil. So I just weaned off of it in 2 weeks time. Now it has been 5 weeks since I have had Paxil or Zoloft but I still have a bad headache most of the time that does not respond to anything over the counter. I still have diarrhea off and on. And I am still dizzy and just don't feel good the majority of the time. Should I go back on Paxil and taper slowly? How do I do that? Start at 10 mg?
  24. Good evening. I'm a vet of the US Army and IT student. I've been lurking on this site for about a week and decided to create an account to get some advice. I think I've made a terrible mistake with my mental health and terrified of what may come. I had terrible anxiety at the beginning of this year and took Buspar as needed directed by my VA Doc.This month the insomnia kicked in and my anxiety did as well. My friend gave me a Seroquel for sleep(i know, wrong move) and it knocked me out. The following morning I went to the nearest hospital and admitted myself to the mental ward. They prescribed me 5mg of Paxil and 5mg of Ambien. That night I had the worst nightmare/night terror I've ever experienced. Needless to say I didn't sleep for the rest of that night. I stayed another night and took another 5mg of Paxil before sleep and they sent me on my way. I was given a script for the Paxil and Ambien but never filled them due to my experience. The night that followed, my insomnia became worst and now I was dreaming excessively. I started to hear sounds that weren't there and the insomnia was killing me. I started to get desperate again. I popped one of my traz and it just gave me an anxiety attack. A few days later I then popped a Mirtazphine and just made me sleepy all day. More sides started to appear and nI realized the mess I got myself into. I experience insomnia and excessive dreaming, numbness of face and dry mouth and eyes. My anxiety is there and constant. I have a little bit of dizziness as well. I am beyond scared and need some insight on what to do. I wish I would of found this site sooner. I hope I didn't cause myself brain damage. Any advice would be great. Thank you SA.
  25. hi, i have a problem that i need help with but first let me tell you about my general situation. 9 years ago I had panic attacks and hypochondria. Doctor put me on seroxat 20 mg daily and I kept taking it for 8 years. on jun 2015 I was feeling very good and worry free so I decided to taper the medicine till I fully stop it. I tapered it for about 6 months and on January 2016 I stopped it completely. First 4 months from January to April I felt nothing much .. Only the brain zaps for few days and then it was gone and I thought that I was successful in coming off the med. By end of April beginning of May started to develop little anxiety again and had a mild panic attack and then things started to develop gradually. I think that I got every withdrawal symptom the medicine can cause. Headaches, hot flashes, cold flashes, burning skin, itching, memory and concentration issues, insomnia and vivid dreams plus of course panic attacks and health anxiety to the roof. At this point I went to see my doctor and told her about this. She wasn't convinced its withdrawal but it is my anxiety came back after stopping the medicine so she prescribed it again for me and said it is ok to take medicine for life as long as they're making us feel good. I bought the seroxat but I didn't use it. After the meeting with doctor and getting assurance that its all anxiety and not something else, I was relaxed for few days and many symptoms were gone. only some memory-concentration problems and troubled sleeping or insomnia are still there. 10 days ago I developed a new symptom which is scaring me a lot and my anxiety went again to the roof. I developed a weird sour/acid taste in my mouth/the tip of my tongue for no reason. Some times it turns to salty or even spicy, sometimes it become less and less and sometime its increased. I am scared, I have an appointment with the doctor after 4 days but currently my anxiety is to the max. did any one had this??
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