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  1. Been on 20 mg. of paxil for 20 years. Started due to depression during a difficult marriage that was heading toward divorce.Tried to get off it multiple times, too fast, and could not tolerate the withdrawal symptoms and went back on it. Doctor told me I likely would need it forever. Did not like that advice! In October 2018 I failed to refill my prescription soon enough and cut my pills in half to 10 mg. so they would last till I got the refill. I found I was ok on 10 mg so stayed there for 3 months. That same month I told my doctor that I was going off Paxil, and he said that was a good thing. He prescribed Zoloft if I felt I needed to get back on an AD, but I have never filled that prescription. Over a period of 6 months, Oct. 2018-May 2019, I continued to gradually taper off until completely discontinuing in mid-May 2019. I had no withdrawal symptoms during this period. I have been completely off Paxil, symptom-free, for 3 months. In early August 2019 I began to have recurring insomnia. I have struggled with some degree of insomnia most of my adult life, but this went on for multiple nights. In mid August I got slammed with depression for several days in addition to insomnia. The depression eased a bit, only to be replaced by anxiety. I took .25 mg. of Xanax for 5 nights to get some sleep. Would sleep soundly for 6+ hours with xanax, awaken, and feel the anxiety begin again. I know how addictive Xanax is and will not continue to take it. I have taken only melatonin for sleep the last 3 nights and have gotten very little sleep. Depression and anxiety have eased...just exhausted. I assumed after 3 months being off Paxil with no symptoms that I was home free. I DO NOT want to go back on Paxil. Is this a normal reaction after 3 months drug-free, and if so, any suggestions how to get thru it, particularly the insomnia? My doctor prescribed trazodone for sleep, but I have not taken it. I am hoping that since I have not had all the awful physical symptoms that many on this forum have described , hopefully I can get thru this without restarting Paxil.
  2. I have been on Paxil for 20 years. I was originally put on it for reactive depression from getting fibromyalgia . I don't need it now. I am not depressed anymore. My problem is that there is no liquid Seroxat /Paxil available here. I first tried bridging to Prozac. I found that moving from Seroxat to Prozac was too hard. I then tried dissolving it in water but my Seroxat tablets do not suspend or dissolve in water. They sink to the bottom of the glass. Does anyone know a reputable online pharmacy that sells liquid paxil and ships to Israel? There was a suggestion of using "Ora Plus" suspension liquid on this forum to dissolve insoluble tablets. I can easily buy Ora Plus from ebay with international shipping. What puts me off is that all the reviews of that on Amazon involve people using it to suspend tablets they give to their dogs and cats! It also contains some nasty sounding chemicals. The shipping cost is crazy too. But that doesn't worry me as much as the other two reasons. I take the gsk - glaxo smith kline version of Seroxat. I take 3/4 of a tablet - 15mg. It's the same tablet distributed to the whole of the European Union. Has anyone here successfully tapered off that without the liquid Seroxat? If so how did you do it? Anyone know an online pharmacy that sells liquid Paxil that ships to Israel?
  3. I've followed the Facebook page for this group for a bit now and thought I would add my own experience with antidepressants. So, I've been on antidepressants of and on (but mostly on) for about 21 years. The couple times over the years I got off of drugs like Paxil, Celexa, and Lexapro was by doing it the (wrong) way my doctor said to. The Ole' skip a day then every two days then voila! your done. I did that a couple times and I seemed to be good. But within 6 months, I was right back on something else. I mainly suffer from anxiety/panic and luckily don't suffer from depression; however, a year and a half ago I had my first case of depression which hit like a ton of bricks. Luckily for me, it was gone within a couple days. Phew! About 10 years ago, while on Paxil, I felt like a lot of anxiety was creeping in once again. I told my doctor at the time who was an internal medicine doctor this, and she said, "oh, you need to try this newer drug called Pristiq! It's an SNRI, not an SSRI." Without thinking anything of it, I was put on 50mgs of Pristiq-which was the lowest dose, at the time and off I went. I don't remember having any trouble what so ever making the switch. Fast forward to the summer of 2017-new doctor and I was feeling great - all things considered. I decided I wanted off. And I wanted off because I was starting to hear more and more people were being forced off their Pristiq and other antidepressants because the insurance company's didn't want to pay for them anymore AND I had watched people the prior Fall get hit by a hurricane in which many were forced into withdrawal because they couldn't get their refills because of damage to businesses/pharmacy's, etc. I didn't ever want to be "forced" off my medication for any reason and then have to endure possible side effects. So, in May of 2017, I began my journey that would (little did I know it) begin a two year struggle to get off antidepressants! I did the common thing at the beginning by telling my doctor that I was feeling good and was ready to jump off of my Pristiq. She agreed and said the usual...since I was on the lowest dose already, and the pills were extremely difficult to cut in half, skip a day for the next 2 weeks, then skip two days for the following 2 weeks, then stop. So the first two weeks were a bit unnerving and difficult but I powered through! Then came the second two weeks of skipping two days. After just the first try I was a mess! A complete mess! I had major anxiety, headaches, brain zaps, dizziness, the usual. I started pouring over the internet to find help because I knew there had to be another way! I started educating myself after finding a Facebook group that spoke of withdrawing off of Pristiq and learned a lot! I called my doctor's office and told them I needed to see her ASAP! because I was really struggling. Luckily, she got me in that same day. I told her how awful my experience was to get off this drug and she agreed that Pristiq is tricky to get off of. She said she doesn't really ever prescribe it but knows of docs that do, but mainly for menopausal symptoms! Since I came to her as a new patient back in 2011 and was already on the drug, she kept me in refills. So, at this point I told HER what I wanted to happen. Because I learned that there was now a 25mg pill which she had no idea of, I wanted her to prescribe this to me to help get me off. Then I told her that if that worked ok for me, I would then like to start compounding the drug down using a compounding pharmacy. I really had to educate her on the fact that this drug needed to be tapered off very slowly to have the best chance of getting off. She said she had never heard of that being done but was willing to work with me to get me off safely. And I had to commend her for that because I have since read and heard of many whose doctors refuse to help them in this manner get off their antidepressants. So I picked up my 25mg prescription from the pharmacy, headed home, and continued researching. I stayed on the 25's for 1 month which is when she wanted me to return to let her know how I was doing. I'll be honest here, it wasn't super easy. But, it was manageable. At my next appointment with my doctor, I came with compounding pharmacy info in hand and told her to call in a script for 15mg's to last a month with one refill in case I felt I needed to continue longer. My plan was to stay on that dose til ALL side effects were gone and to not jump down in dose until then. So, I completed the next month with the 15's and at that following appointment told her I was still doing ok, and that I'd like a new script for 12 mgs compounded. She obliged. Another month with that dose and still hung in there. The next month I asked for a 9 mg dose to be compounded. Did that for about 1 week and BAM! The side effects were so bad, I just couldn't handle it. I went back into her office right away and told her that the jump from 12 to 9 was too difficult and that I was going to refill the 12's but now I needed to taper off 1 mg per month! The lower I got in dosage, the higher my anxiety was, however, I was determined to get off this stuff. At 3mgs, I jumped completely off. Unfortunately, at that point in my life, I had some major family stuff going on which only contributed to my anxiety! I was off completely for 16 days. During that time, and because of what was going on in my life, the anxiety and panic left me in a state of not wanting to leave my house. It was really hard. I made an appointment to see my doctor again as I was starting to feel desperate. I didn't want to feel this way anymore. NOTE During this time of tapering, I learned a lot about helpful supplements to aid me as I tapered - ones for brain health and helping the inflammation that occurs in our brains as a result of taking these meds. I also cut out most sugar/gluten in my diet as both cause inflammation and can contribute to anxiety/depression. I also sought out a Naturapathic doctor in my area who ran extensive blood work to look for any deficientcy's that could contribute to how I was feeling. That's another thread that I can speak about in the future!!! (Magnesium L-Threonate/Glycinate/Citrate is your friend!!! Along with a high EPA fish oil, and Turmeric/curcumin supplementation!) So while sitting in my doctor's office feeling major anxiety, I caved. I told her I didn't want to feel like this anymore and that I was willing to try a low dose SSRI to see if it would help. I tried Zoloft first but had an allergic reaction to it 13 days in (it didn't make me feel good anyway) so I stopped that and switched right over to 10mgs of Paxil. I have to be honest...it did help. Within 24 hours I could feel my anxiety lessening. However, now I felt like a failure. I failed at getting off of antidepressants. I ended up staying on Paxil for a year. Then, because of some side effects that I can only attribute to the Paxil, decided I needed to get off this and NOW. I broke the 10's in half and for two and a half weeks, I took 5mgs. I have now been antidepressant free for almost 2 weeks and I feel GREAT! The only thing I have experienced is a slight tingling around my mouth and ever so slight anxiety but it feels more like an adrenaline rush; like when someone scares you and you jump. Granted, I know it hasn't been that long, but what a difference I feel now from what I felt a year ago. I still have a little stress in my life - but who doesn't ?? I've continued with my supplements and eating the best that I can and I believe that it has completely helped me get through the hardest parts. Looking back, I don't know how anyone could ever get off these drugs without doing some kind of taper! And, over the last year and a half, I have tried to help hundreds get off Pristiq. I am a contributor/moderator/admin in a facebook group that does just that! We help others see that the safest way off this drug is a slow taper. Many people learn the hard way, like most of us. But then we see that success is "slow and steady wins the race!" There is hope on the other side! We need to educate people and the medical community that the drug manufacturer's way is not a good way! I mean, why would they want us off their drugs anyway? They would stand to lose billions of dollars. They are setting us up for failure so we need to stand up and prove them wrong. Thank you for allowing me to share my story...
  4. Well I have always had some sort of anxiety my whole life. Of course, nowhere NEAR as bad as the anxiety WD has caused me. I missed school a ton growing up cause it just made me anxious to be around a lot of people and I was very shy. Just the thought of having to go to school gave me a nervous stomachache. This led to me actually dropping out for a while in high school. Thankfully I was able to enroll in an alternative high school with very small classes where we could go at our own pace and make our own hours. I was able to graduate and get my diploma in under 2 years. I've also had OCD for as long as I can remember. I was tormented by my intrusive thoughts and thought there was something very wrong with me or I was possessed. When I was around 11 or 12 I was looking in a psychology book for some answers and when I read the description for OCD I had a Eureka moment. "That's me!" I was so happy I started crying. So I guess I diagnosed myself but it was later confirmed by a child psychologist. Around 1998 (when I was 18 years old) is when I started seeing commercials on TV for Paxil. Again, when I heard the description I thought it sounded a lot like me. I had just been broken up with by a guy for being "too shy". I was hating how reserved I was and my "social anxiety." It had been getting even worse as now I was getting very nervous and racing heart when in restaurants or standing in line at the store. So I went to a psychiatrist and told him I wanted this drug, Paxil. After a LONG questionnaire and hearing my symptoms he agreed it might help me. I asked him if I could stop taking it any time I wanted and he said "Yes." LIE. That was the day I made the worst decision of my life and I will always regret taking that first pill. So I started the Paxil at 20mg and had no start up effects that I can remember. A few months later I took a trip by myself on a bus half way across the country. So I gues the Paxil was "working." I also missed a couple of doses and that is when I found out about the horrible WD. Zaps, crazy sensitivity to noises, nausea, etc. It scared the crap out of me. Felt like I was stuck on this poison. The years start to pass and I begin to become numb to everything. I gain 30 pounds, which doesn't sound like much but on someone 5'2" with a small frame it definitely shows. Although I was in a relationship I became more and more disinterested in sex. My favorite hobby was sleeping. I had zero ambition and zero motivation. In 2002, my BF at the time finally convinced me to try to get off this drug. I started taking 2.5mg drops every month or so from 30-40mg (cant remember exactly). As I got lower my interest in sex returned and I felt good. I decided to go on birth control. Two weeks after starting it I crashed completely. I was at about 10mg of Paxil at that time. One morning I woke up to nausea, some vomiting, a horrible burning sensation everywhere in my body, horrible anxiety, and the dreaded akathisia which was by far the worse symptom. I became suicidal and made an emergency appt. with a psychiatrist (not the one who initially prescribed it) who talked to me for 15 minutes and said this was proof I needed to be on the drug for the rest of my life. She proceeded to up my dose back to 30mg. I slowly started to feel better and the experience was enough to scare me away from attempting to taper off for several years. In Dec. 2006 after I get out of that relationship I feel something needs to change in my life. I was very unhappy with who I was. So I once again start to taper from 37.5mg. In 2008 I make it 20mg and decide to take a break. I go out with friends, I drink ALOT. Sleeping, smoking pot, eating, and drinking alcohol are my favorite activities. The break lasts for a whole year. In 2009 I commence my taper, but I notice it's getting a lot harder, which would make sense since besides the crash in 2002 I have never been on a dose lower than 20mg. I have to reduce my drops to less than 5%. At around 15mg in Aug. 2009 I get a part time job I love but I'm so scared of having WD at work that I take even smaller drops. In a year at that job I drop about 3mg. In 2010 I start to have stomach problems and anxiety increases. I have to stop eating red meat completely as I notice it makes my stomach problems worse. I carry a bottle of Pepto Bismol in my purse with me everywhere I go. Stomach problems give me anxiety and vice versa so it's a vicious cycle. Finally in Aug. 2010 I'm spending most of my time at my job in the bathroom so I decide to quit the best job I ever had. Probably just as well as about a month later is when the crap really hits the fan. In late September I take a 4% drop from 11.8 to 11.4. I get a little depression after about a week. Two weeks after that I try to eat a bit of red meat and visit the website of someone I used to know and it makes me very anxious. Several hours later I begin to feel very nauseous and anxious. I finally make myself throw up and feel a little better. I sleep a lot the next two days. The day after that however I stop sleeping completely. My anxiety goes into overdrive. I have no appetite and can't eat. I feel shaky, and depressed. My brain has forgotten how to sleep all of a sudden although I have never had insomnia in my entire life previous to this. If I do pass out it is for less than a hour. For 9 days I sleep one hour every 3 days. I see weird cartoony things when I close my eyes. I hear things that I know are not there. Once I had an awful bloody image flash into my mind out of nowhere when trying to fall asleep that "woke me up" with a gasp. I try everything over the counter: Benadryl, herbal sleep pills, melatonin, valerian. Nothing works. Finally someone gives me some Xanax and Trazadone. I take .50mg of Xanax and 25mg of Trazadone. Instead of sleeping one hour I sleep two. The next day I am more groggy than the night before and I am FINALLY able to sleep 5-6 very broken hours. I also updose to 12mg. I start to feel a little better but this doesn't last long. Three weeks later my stomach starts acting up again and I am unable to sleep. Not only am I unable to sleep but now every time I am about to fall asleep my body violently jerks awake. It is torture. I decide to start dropping again. I find I feel a little better after a drop but it doesn't last long. I start to drop every 3 weeks. The depression is still so bad cause I don't know what's wrong with me and my body keeps jerking awake, usually all night. I become suicidal and try to suffocate myself one night. Then I realize, I DON'T want to die. I just don't want to keep living like this. By the grace of God I make it through. I lose about 15 pounds in 4 weeks. I guess this brings us up to present, fifteen months after that "rough patch" or "mini crash". I still have no idea what caused it. The jerks are still here and still drive me insane but thankfully they have weakened and are not as relentless (usually) as they used to be. My sleep has never been the same since. I take magnesium and melatonin every night to sleep. If I get even slightly stimulated good or bad I am unable to sleep. Even going out with friends stimulates me too much and I am unable to sleep. I can't exercise for even 10 minutes cause it makes my jerks worse. I am still not working. I have found it has gotten even harder under 10mg. I have gone from tapering every 3 weeks to every six weeks. From 4% drops to not even being able to do 2.5% drops. I taper .1mg every 6 weeks. At this rate it will take me 6+ years to get to off if I can at all. I read on the other forum about someone who was going as slow as me and she STILL crashed at 6mg. I'm very hopeless. I am so freaking sensitive to drops and can't imagine how I will ever get off this poison. It has been three years since I started tapering from 20mg and I'm not even close to being off. I'm too scared to switch to Prozac because of all the horror stories I've heard and the fact that it is notoriously activating. If I try to hold on a dose longer than 7 weeks I feel very bad. I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Really don't know how to proceed and if I will ever get my life back. I am 31 now and would very much be able to have kids someday. I'm single and have been for a long time cause I can't even go out anymore and meet people. When I do go out, I don't sleep like I said. So that's it. Thanks if you took the time to read this LONG, LONG introduction. I pray for all you guys and I hope you will pray for me too. XX
  5. hi,all been on &off antidepressants for 20 yrs but never felt this crummy.since stopping Paroxetine have had flu-like symptoms ,then fatigue loss of appetite,taste changes,eye problems(excessive blinking actually started while on it,that's why I quit).depression,anxiety,just miserable,wondering if I should reinstate or just try & hang in there.I was on it about 6 mos.stopped May 4 after about 7 wk taper.thanks for any suggestions
  6. I have been on various doses of Paxil for 30 years. I was great using as little as 10mg for many years. I’m now going thru menopause and this summer has been hell. In June I went from 40mg of regular Paxil to 75mg of the CR. In early August my physiatrist lowered it to 50mg CR. Since then, I’m having episodes of anxiety and depression. I went to my GP yesterday and she wants to taper me off Paxil altogether and start Zoloft. I’ve been reading these horror stories and am scared and lonely. Does anyone have any suggestions? Oh..forgot to mention Gyno started me on Hormones last week too.
  7. Hi everyone, I'm Mark, living in Marseille, south east of France, I'm 36 yo. I began Paxil (Deroxat in France), in 1999, given for a "IBS" (irritative bowel syndrom)... 20mg a day (1999-2014). 2010-2014 were the best years of my life, friends, family, job, music, soccer, etc etc... Mid-2014 I decided by myself to reduce Paxil. So, I started to take 20mg a day, then 10mg next day, then 20, then 10 ... End 2014, jav/fev 2015, I took 10, 5, 10, 5.. then 5mg... 2 weeks after being at 5 mg / day, my life turned to hell. Many symptoms occured weeks after weeks : Nausea, dizziness, lightheadness, belly ache, loss of appetite, tinnitus, electric schocks when moving eyes... Then i thought about my paxil reduction... I re-start 10mg in 2015, then 20mg since january 2016, but my symptoms are still here... Now, I just wanna die with those awful nausea all day, dizziness etc... Sometimes I have 1, 2, 3 days where symptoms seem to reduce, then they retstart awfully... In 2015 I had all medical examination to exclude other problem : Colonoscopie, Pillcam (for small intestine), Ultrasound, 2 Belly MRI, 2 head MRI, tons of blood analysis, eyes tests, inner ears tests, etc, etc... Nothing found... I saw more than 20 doctors in 18 month (gastro, neuro, diagnosticians, ENT, opthalmo, psychiatrists...). None want to listen me, and all say that's not a problem with my paxil, because Withdrawal least no more than few weeks... I'm here, to claim for help. i really need somebody who understands me, who well knows withdrawal problems, etc... I don't understand why I don't feel better since I have re-taken 20 mg... Sorry for my bad english.
  8. Hi everybody, My name is Grégory, I'm french, 35 years old. Here's my story : I started Paxil (paroxetine in France) in 2002 because of anxiety, 40 mg for 5 years, and then 20 mg for 5 another years. In 2012 I tried a withdrawal in 1 month, and I started to suffer from pain and burning sensations in my legs, and depression. One month later I reinstated Paxil 20 mg, and after some weeks, I felt better. I stayed 2 years like this. In november 2013 I retried a withdrawal, 20 mg a day, 10 mg the next day, 20 mg again the next day etc during 3 months -> then 10 mg for 3 other months -> then 10 mg/5 mg/10 mg for 3 months -> then 5 mg for 3 months -> then 5 mg/2,5 mg/5 mg for 3 months -> then 2,5 mg for 3 months. During this withdrawal (a year and a half) I had some back pain, I thought it was my discopathy that got worse, and when I was in 2,5mg for 4 months, the pain in my legs suddenly reappeared strongly, and the depression. I tried to reinstate 5 mg for a week, but a morning I had been wake by a short ring in my ears. I made an anxiety attack and I felt so bad that my family send me to a psychiatrist that sent me to a psychiatric hospital. They gave to me a lot of medication, they stopped paxil and gave to me chlomipramine, abilify, tranxene and a sleeping drug (I forgot the name) I was like a zombie. So I decided to leave one week later. I suffered from akathisia, and a lot of side effects. It was really horrible. So I stopped all the drugs and I decided to go back to paxil, 20 mg because I thought it was the best for me. Of course it was a big, big mistake. I didn't made the connection with the short ring in my ears 3 weeks ago. 1 hours after taking the only pill, a constant tinnitus appeared in my ears... So I decided immediately to stop everything, and day after day the tinnitus decreased. 3 weeks later it was completely gone, it lasted one week. After that it reappeared slowly, it was 3 months ago. Since that the tinnitus increase slowly, sometimes I can't sleep. Because of that I have a nervous breakdown. The pain in my back and my legs are a little less intense but I have no windows since I stopped Paxil. I read a lot of information about antidepressant withdrawal, a lot of testimony, in particular in your forum, the tinnitus topic, the 'reinstating and stabilizing' topic, etc..... Now please could you give me your advice ? Because I think that the pains are withdrawal symptoms and the tinnitus an adverse reaction, isn't it ? But isn't it strange that an adverse reaction goes away after a moment, then reappears and increases ? It's more like a withdrawal symptom ! I'm really lost. Thanks for your help !
  9. Hello, I a new to the site. I have been on SSRI antidepressants for going on 18 years. I was placed on them at around the age of 26 or 27 years old when my Mom passed with cancer. I have been on 30 mg Paxil ( Paroxetine ) now for several years and have been pretty stable until it recently appears to have quit working. I started to suffer from extreme panic attacks, excessive thoughts of worry, and other physical symptoms as well. These have been coming and going for no apparent reason. I seen my doctor yesterday and she thinks that the Paxil has quit working and also feels that this medication comes with a lot of side effects and would be a good idea to get completely off of the medication. She placed me on a schedule to start tapering off of the medication and she also prescribed me Buspirone if I start to feel like I need to try something else for the anxiety. She has worked with several patients when it comes to getting off of Paroxetine and advised that it is different for everyone, but I should be able to get completely off w/in a month. Then if I haven't started taking the Buspar I can evaluate if medication is even needed. I would love to be able to get completely off of antidepressants all together and get my life back. Just wondering what kind of side effects I can expect and also wondering if there is any advise out there to help out. I do have .25 mg of Xanex on hand in event that I have a panic attack, but I seldom ever take one. I almost wonder if the Paroxetine have started to make my anxiety worsen. I would love to get completely off of the medication and get my life back and just be me. I started my 1st taper yesterday from 30 to 25 and plan to stay there for at least a week.
  10. Hi My name is Anthony. I’m new to this forum. I’ve never been a member of a forum before so if I’m posting things in the wrong place I apologize. Also I will not try and write a novel but I really do need help and advice. I’m 42 years old and have been on antidepressents since 18 years old. For the last 15 years I have been on Paxi40mg. I’ve also been taking Klonopin pretty much since 18 years old except for a couple years they put me on different benzo’s. But I’ve been on Klonopin 2mg at least 20 years. I’m taking these medicines for generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. So about 10 months ago I spoke with my doctor about trying another ssri because of side effects I was having with Paxil. Just the usual ones weight gain, sexual, etc. That was the worst decision of my life. After the first week I got the Paxil flu. At the time I had no idea what the Paxil flu was or that I was going to feel like that. It scared the hell out of me and didn’t want to take these pills anymore. So like an idiot I started tapering off the Prozac and was off it within a month. So I believe I just basically quit Paxil cold turkey. I kept taking the Klonopin though. I fought the withdrawals for 3 months and couldn’t do it anymore. So I saw my doctor and he put me back on Prozac 40mg for about 3 weeks but I requested Paxil because I read something online saying it’s better to reinstate the same medication. I reinstated at Paxil 40 mg So now it’s about 5 months and I’m still experiencing the withdrawals while on Paxil. My waves are getting easier but still pretty bad and my windows seem to get longer some times. During a wave my anxiety is through the roof with constant worrying about everything important or not, can’t get out of bed, also with other symptoms as well. My question is it common to have withdrawals while taking the same dosage again after 5 months? I also read that sometimes reinstatement doesn’t work. I don’t think that is what is happening because I do feel improvements just small. The thought of reinstatement not working scares the hell out of me. Please any answers and advice would greatly be appreciated because I’m having a hard time. Once again sorry if this was too long for my first post I’m just desperate. Also can I ask about my symptoms here? Thank you so much for the people who took there time to read this. Hope to hear from you guy’s.
  11. Hello all, I just wanted to introduce myself. I was on Paroxetine for 4 years for anxiety starting in 2011. I was on 20mg dose. Cutting a long story short I stopped taking this Paroxetine drug after 4 years of use in 2015 and withdrew over a 3 month taper. It’s now been 4 years since I took my last dose and I’m still REALLY struggling. I was just wondering if anyone on here has been or is in the same sort of situation?
  12. I'm wondering if anyone else has or had experienced worsing withdrawal symptoms when switching from Paxil CR and Liquid SOLELY to the Liquid Suspension? I have been tapering slowing Since January by the following: (1 Pill = 12.5 CR) Starting dose of 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG OF CR Jan 21st: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13 10 mg lq until today 7/10 I have a feeling that the liquid isnt nearly as....either effective or has as long a HALF LIFE as the company would have me believe. When I first started the taper I was taking the 1 pill and taking all the liquid at 9 pm at NIGHT. Within 16 hours of the night dose I was having bad symptoms until I took the next dose. This went on for a week. I then experimented by switching the timing of the liquid to the morning at 9 am. Withing 2 days the withdrawal syptoms had switched from the evening to the morning! What clearly was happening, was the liquid was NOT staying in my system anywhere near as long as the CR. After a week of suffering the withdrawl symptoms at the new time, my doctor suggested taking half the liquid dose every 12 hours, since it obviously had a SHORTER Half life than the CR Pill, since my syptoms corresponded to ALMOST EXACTLY 16 hours after the last Liquid dose. With 3 days of splitting the daily dose into every 12 hours the symptoms had mostly resolved. Everything was going ok (not perfect but much better than the horrible symptoms when only taking the liquid once daily) UNTIL I recently finally got below the level of the pill and am ONLY on the liquid. Since I switched to the liquid ONLY I have been taking it every 8 hours -or 3 times a day, but the worsening symptoms have returned. Not as bad as when I was only taking it every 12 hours, but worse when I still had the CR for the majority of the dose. I THINK THIS LIQUID IS CRAP. I've only dropped 2.5 mg's in almost 8 weeks and I'm having WORSE symptoms than when I was dropping a 1mg every 2 weeks no problem. (Again with the CR pill as most of my dose. ) Any ideas? I mean, the fact that I had horrible symptoms correspnding to 16 hours AFTER the liquid dose, regardless whether I was taking it at 9am or 9pm, tells me it has to have a much shorter half life than they are saying, expecially since once I started taking the liquid 5mg ever 12 hours instead of 10 all at once things cleared up within 48 hours. And now that all I have is the liquid, I'm worse even though I'm dropping at only half the speed of when I still had atleast 12.5 CR. And! I'm taking it EVERY 8 hours: 3 mg AM, 3 mg Afternoon, 4 MG Night. I notice the electrical shocks in my head close to the time I am scheduled for the next dose, as if it's only in my system about 6 hours at a time. Help![/size]
  13. Hi all , I am 8 months off reinstated sertraline for a month ( by doc) and Aripropazole. History Its around 4 years back when i passed out my college and not get placed even after making to finals in many interviews .. that i decided to write competitive exam for PG. I had taken coaching but just before exam I came back and found myself unable to recall things. My brain is just like nothing in it. I found myself in despair and stopped studying. This fog is happening all the time since my engineering but I managed to get average marks sometimes and sometimes very good . There is more in back history but I ll get to it later. So, my parents took me to a psychiatrist ( family known) and he put me to Olanzapine and one more thing. He diganosed me bipolar2. I got about 10 pounds on it but its not help . Meanwhile after 4 months, with the help of a relative , I got intern in a company and I moved out with fog to a distant city. TThere in a hospital, they put me on floxetine and Amisulpride for 3 months . Then i moved to a private psychiatrist ... where it starts getting haywire . He stopped fluoxetine and Amisulpride . And put me on Venlafaxine and Seroquel... As i was interning, i get usual heat racing in between job times but my doctor convinced me to stay with it . 4 months and I just started feeling agitated due to stress. It happened that I slapped a senior on abusing me and there I left a job I never happened to get physical in my school or college .. but it happened. Doctor told me to scrap the prescription he wrote of raising Venlafaxine. And he put me paroxetine + Oxcarbazepine. In his words , it is best tolerable and has lesser side effects. I managed to get a job by my own and cracking first time. But this time there is lot of work and culture pressure. Its a startup with full of politics . Boss and his boss .. all keep on putting things. Let office aside, I started feeling some well .. overly casual ... excited .. raged .. Iits about 25 mg Paroxetine and 300/600 mg Oxcarbazepine. I had unusual violent acts .. had hit a school friend .. insomnia.. I decided to leave the paxil by asking the doctor . He said half in a week and then other half a week to off. Thats when it all started , i cannot sleep whole night and with day light i start getting a nap. I left going office with fear of state i was in . I cannot wake and even if I .. i was too tired and angry . Doctor then gave me Mirtazapine which didn't help . I resigned job telling muly boss about all and came back home. It was Nov,2015. I start getting yhese uncontrollable rage that I locked myself in a room. Parents took to a local shrink who put me on Venlafaxine+ Mirtazapine(CRF), lamotrigine, resperidal, Seroquel. The NEXT Day I woke up so fresh .. all calm like 12 yrs back .. i was smiling happy.. but it lasted only 4 hrs .. and i am doomed again . I took those meds 10 days and i decided to go off. Physical Damage. I got brain zaps as sounds with eye movement .. While on Paxil I got severe neck stiffness and movement pains - which came out as Osteophytes. Anger , heart race , memory, fog , chest pains , fatigue ... All I beared for 4 months. Reinstatement after 4 months. Father took me to another psych who put me on Sertraline+ Aripropazole+ Seroquel. I started having increases restless legs than before and the doctor asked me not to go over net. After 2 visits and when he said it wslas Aripropazole for restlessness all time.. and he is cutting it . I stopped all meds . Withdrawals in 8 months. All first symptoms with some new like utter sensitivity in teeth. It is while breathe in most of the teeth . Muscles gone from forearms .. My left hands gone ulnar neuropathy and i got surgery done when no hope lived. Right hand has stiffness too . MAnger I am living with .. I have stopped talking .. I have decided to go sit on my Shop but I was unable to understand the talk . In spite anger biuts and memory makes it difficult to adjust. I keep forgetting people faces .. important talks . So i stopped . Now I am muted all the time with burst inside . Read success stories and play CoC. This is the most I can write now.
  14. Hello. I’m 33 years old woman. When I was 21 I was given Paxil 20 mg and has taken half a pill since then to atumn 2016. I think I tapered for a month or so, don’t remember exactly. And I was fine for a month or two. But then I started to feel so stressed out and shaky. And I never get stressed. In January 2017 I got a bad cold with very bad throat pain. And I had that pain for about half year. I was so psychology instabil I cried all the time and the next second I laughed hysterically. I thought I was going insane. And I was so agoraphobic. And had my first ever panic attach. I got kind of appendix inflammation where the appendix would swell up and have spasm from hell! I couldn’t walk because every time I took I step i would get a stabbing pain in my appendix. In the summer 2017 I understood what it was! I was going through Paxil withdrawal! So I thought I had to go back and take Paxil again. The pain in my appendix disappeared and I felt normal in my psyche again. And also my throat pain disappeared. But I also got symptoms back that I didn’t want to deal with, sexual disfunction, and other stuff. So I quit Paxil again. My weight went down to 44 kg and I am 166 cm... i was so incredibly depressed I wanted to kill myself. I couldn’t work and I layed in bed all day I thought I was going to die because of anxiety. i also got severe burning mouth. And bruxism. And I got bone growth in my palate and under my toung. My mouth hurted so bad. And still does from time to time. And so dry mouth. in New Years from 2017 to 2018 I woke up and had excruciating pain in my stomach. And had to eat something very fast to make it better. And ever since then I have to eat all day long, but my stomach hurts so bad either way. sometimes it burns in my stomach and in my chest. And I have to pee so bad all day long and also at night. I have pain in my bladder. and in my spine and lower back. But the main thing for me is the pain in both sides of my stomach. I think it is the colon? The stomach is sooo bubbly and noisy and the pain is so bad. I have diarrhea almost every day. And I get anxiety and panic when I would sleep because I have so much pain. I don’t know how much longer I can do this, I have had this pain and bloating now for 1 1/2 years. It looks like I swallowed a football or something and people have asked me if I’m pregnant. i can’t deal with this pain any more. The only thing that helps with the pain a little is hydroxyzine but I get bad heart palpitations from that. What should I do to get a normal digest system again? And don’t have to eat all day long and pee and have this pain? the pain is on both sides of the stomach far down.
  15. I joined this site a couple of weeks ago. After finding that paxilprogress was no more. I was devastated. That site may have truly saved my life in some of my darkest moments. What is one to do? When essentially you've self-destructed in front of everyone you love; because of a nasty little "non-habit-forming" pill that's been shoved down your throat for decades. So here I am. Time (weeks really) has eluded me. I meant to reach out sooner. I'm just hoping I'm not reaching out too late. I feel like such a horrible failure. I know better than that at some level, know that maybe I failed but that I just have to pick up the broken pieces and keep moving forward. But I'm so I'll. I'm so weak. I'm so alone. And I feel so helpless. My life may not have been a picnic before the introduction of SSRIs. But this is one situation in which the grass was truly greener on the side of which I was already standing. Before popping that first "innocent" little pink pill, prescribed by a doctor who had seen me only once and only spent 10 minutes "getting to know me". I couldn't tell you who that doctor was, I never saw him again. Nevertheless he was the first in probably nearly a hundred who have insisted upon continuing the saga. And what better did I know? I was unhappy before the meds. I was often unstable on them. And I was clueless as to why I was saying and doing psychotic things (that I often didn't remember, or just have "snippets" of memory after the fact) and so violently ill when I decided I simply no longer wanted to take the pills. Or was even 12 hours late on a dose. (More about that and my travels down genetic testing road and CYP450 mutations later.) All that being said; Hello to all in these forums. I'm the antisocial one. The antisocial one that sometimes doesn't know when it's appropriate to shut up. Or how to appropriately ask for help. But if you've been through it (psych med-wise), I probably have too. And vice versa.
  16. JulianaMoon

    JulianaMoon

    Hi! I've been diagnosed with major depression recurrant, PTSD, severe anxiety, bi polar, borderline personality syndrome and agorophobia over the 24 years I have been seeing psychiatrists and therapists after a 2nd violent sexual assualt. I still have no idea what my proper diagnosis should be, but I think major depression, PTSD, and severe anxiety would be my personal diagnosis. I was doing great on Paxil 30 mg and Ativan 2mg for many years. Than we relocated to a different state. I was put on Effexor XR 300 mg in addition to the others. I seemed to get better and was just cruising along. We moved to TN and I was doing OK. Somehow I ended up on 150 mg of Effexor. I don't remember if the Dr dropped the dosage or I did. When I was diagnosed with hyperhomocysteinemia in 2011 after a lifetime of being tired all the time, I was told to take B12, b6 and folic acid. Nothing changed. My psychiatrist put me on Nuvigil 150 mg, than 250 mg and what a difference. I remodeled my whole house myself with YouTube as my teacher. When I turned 50, everything changed and I started gaining weight and started getting very tired again. I had not changed a thing. I weaned off Paxil. No difference. Than I got high blood pressure and was put on Lisinopril 40 mg 2x a day. And Atorvastatin. Than I found out I had GERD and Barretts Esophagus and was put on Prilosec 40 mg. Than the pounds really started packing on. The more weight I gained, the worse my depression and fatigue got. Now, I am 100 pounds overweight, and never leave the house. I decided to get off of Effexor because I felt it wasn't helping, but actually making me worse. My Dr increased my dosage from 150 mg of Effexor XR to 225 mg Effexor. I got worse. So, I decided it is time to wean myself off of the Effexor and than try and get off the Prilosec. Work on my weight and try to be free of blood pressure meds. I am high stroke risk, and I think the Prilosec is adding weight to me. Anyways. I have already gone from 225 mg of Effexor to 100mg over the course of 2-3 months. The 1st 50 mg drop was bc my Dr kept forgetting to prescribe it, and the nurse insisted I was never on that dose. My pharmacist proved them wrong, but they still quit prescribing it. I felt better after 2 months, so I have actually been weaning myself off 175 mg for 2-3 months. The first drop was 17.5 mg for 5 weeks. Than 17.5 again for 4 weeks. I added 5 mg of Paxil to help with withdrawals when I dropped the 1st 17.5 mg. So I was on 137.5 mg and than I dropped another 17.5 mg for 3 weeks. Than I increased my dosage on Paxil to 10 mg and dropped the last 17.5 mg thru one week. When I dropped doses, I did every other day for a week, every 2 days for a week, than the drop to the new dose for 2-3 weeks. That last drop was 17.5 mg every other day, than the new dose, while I went up to 10 mg Paxil. It has been awful. I take 100 mg of Effexor at 10 am and 10 mg of Paxil at 6 pm. Around 9-10 pm I started crying, getting angry, crying and feeling so much despair about the death of my mother in Nov.I start making plans to auction the house off and move home. I obsess over finding a home in MI. I feel trapped in TN. I am literally having a major panic attack. It goes from mild to extreme over the course of 4-5 days. So once a week I add a 17.5 mg of Effexor, than I'm OK. So I am wondering if these are withdrawal symptoms from Effexor? Or is it because I increased the Paxil to 10 mg? Is it because the last drop was too quick? And I'm not sure what to do. I was thinking of cutting back to 5 mg of Paxil over a few weeks bc I flip out a few hours after taking it. But maybe I should increase the Effexor 17.5 mg to 2 times a week at night, than start weaning down from that. So that is why I am here. To finish the detox with others, and find out what helps during the bad withrawal days.
  17. Hello all, I was prescribed 40 mgs of paroxetine in 1997 for depression. It worked fine for six months, I was then advised by my doctor to come off it and I tapered as per instructions (reducing by 5 mgs a week) and I was fine until I was off the drug completely for six weeks, then I crashed. I felt so bad I went back on. The next time I came off I tapered more slowly, but with the same result, so I went back on again. Fast forward to Christmas 2017 when, stupidly, I reduced from 40 mgs to 20 mgs in one go and went through terrible withdrawal symptoms, but was able to go to work even though I was obviously ill. After reading the advice on this site I up-dosed slightly to 22.5 mgs using a pill crusher, and after a couple of months the withdrawal symptoms remitted. I stayed on the 22.5 mgs for 6 weeks and then reduced by 1mg, I waited 6 more weeks before reducing again by 1 mg. I continued with this schedule until I got to 18 mgs, then everything went haywire with the very worst withdrawal symptoms I have ever experienced. I immediately up-dosed to 20 mgs, hoping this would give me some relief. After 6 weeks I was getting continually worse with increasingly suicidal/self-harming impulses. In desperation I went up to 25 mgs for two weeks and then up to 30 mgs which I have now been on for seven weeks. I've currently been off work sick for nearly three months and I can only describe my symptoms as horrific, as well as ever changing, the worst being extreme agitation and twitching of the body, along with depression, and hyper-sensitivity to any noise, as well as fear of the future. Recently the Royal College of Psychiatrists in Britain has acknowledged SSRI withdrawal as a serious problem and I am contemplating asking for a referral to see a psychiatrist in order to at least to get my experience validated as none of my regular doctors seem to believe that what I am going through is protracted withdrawal. I would be interested to know if anyone has any advice as to what I should do?
  18. I’m new here and am very happy to have found this resource. I have been on 20mg Paxil for 16 years. I failed at tapering about 8 years ago....did it the way my doctor suggested and crashed three months out. I am scared to stay on it forever, that it will poop out and I will be in a bad spot. So I got the liquid form and started, what I thought was, a slow taper. Also of note, is that the liquid is name brand and I always took generic. I made the mistake of cutting my dose by 25%...so a full dose would be 10ml, I took 7.5. I did this for a month and felt fine. Then I cut by another ml. A week after that, WD hit. I quickly upsized to 9 ml (a 10% cut of my original dose. Mostly nausea for the first 2 1/2 weeks, which was very distressing to me. Thankfully, that faded. Thst’s when the anxiety hit. It is worst in the mornings but sometimes persists in the evenings too. I’m 6 weeks out from the upside right now. I have waves and windows. I’m currently in a wave. Trying to accept where I’m at and what I feel. I worry that even a slow taper will be too hard for me. And I worry that I won’t stabilize at this dose. Thank you for any wisdom you can share with me.
  19. Hi you all! I am Athena. So my tough journey begins in 2001, when I am diagnosed with depression. I am then prescribed Effexor, which instantly gives me huge side effects: vomiting, tremors, sweats... But I am a tough warrior and I put up with them, for a year and a half. In 2005, depression comes back, and here starts the trial-and-error of many, many AD's: Celexa, Zoloft, Effexor, desipramin, Wellbutrin, mirtazepin, Lamictal, Remeron, Abilify, nortriptylin, Cipralex, Cymbalta, and others I don't remember. They all give me side effects that are almost as bad as the disease in itself. When I would try to stop them, I would have really bad symptoms of depression, so I began to believe that that was going to be my life, which is quite depressing in itself! Last summer (2012), while being on Cymbalta, I developped really bad sleeping problems: I would sleep maximum 3 hours per night, and only with a med called Imovane. So I started to be addicted to that in order to sleep. But I was so tired that I decided to stop the Cymbalta, so my doctor prescribed me Paxil. I was already on Wellbutrin as well. Paxil made me SO sleepy, that I tried to quit in Sept. 2012, first from 20mg to 10mg, which went well, and then 2 weeks later from 10mg to 0. Outch. That's when I found out about withdrawal symptoms, which I had never heard of before for AD's. It was awful, but it might have been my revelation, because they were really PHYSICAL symptoms. I started to read a lot about the subject on the internet. I have learned a lot, and I have started to think that the depression symptoms I have been having when I tried many times to stop my meds were maybe in fact WITHDRAWAL symptoms. My doctor didn't think so. Even so, I started to taper slowly from Paxil and to take good care of myself in other natural ways. So here I am now, on 7mg Paxil, 100mg Wellbutrin and 2.5mg Imovane. My doctor keeps telling me to try and taper Paxil faster than I am now... so he can be able to prescribe me something else... a MAOI (?).I am not really interested in trying a 20th (?) medication. All of the previous ones have given me really bad side effects that have put my life on hold for 10 years... Why would this one be different? He claims that I am going to have a depression relapse if I don't take any medication... So here is my first question: do you guys think what I have experienced as "depression relapse" when I was trying to stop the AD's many times in the last 10 years, might have been in fact withdrawal symptoms? And that if I taper them a lot more gradually, I might not have those "depression symptoms" forever? And therefore, I wouldn't have to take the so-called MAOI? My second question is: which one do you think I should taper first? Paxil or Wellbutrin? I wanted to get off Paxil as fast as possible because it was making me so sleepy, but right now, it seems like the side effects from Wellbutrin are more disturbing. It has always affected my breathing, like I have to make an effort to breath completely, and it has given me some joint pain. But right now these seem to be worse, breathing is more difficult and it makes the breathing muscles become too contracted and sore. Plus I know that breathing right is important during recovery... Also, the problem with Wellbutrin is that you're not supposed to cut the pill, since the covering is doing the "slow-release" job... Well this was my story! I know it's a looong and boring story but it's mine... If anyone would have any input or advice on one or both of my questions, I would be SO grateful!! Also, please forgive my English mistakes, it is not my mother tongue. I really wish a full physical and mental health to everyone here, and I am looking forward to know and discuss with you all!! All the best. -Athena
  20. I am a newby here and this is my first post, I am 73 years old. I was prescribed Paxil 20 mg. in 2002 for anxiety disorder. Since then I have tried unsuccessfully to withdraw on three occasions. The third attempt lasted 11 months; I managed to taper to 5 mg Paxil. Then crashed. Returned to 20 mg. (I wish I had tried to hold out on the 5mg much longer, but was feeling awful physical withdrawal symptoms). Since then, my dosage was increased to 30 mg in 2011, then in 2018 to 40 mg. The last increase didn't work. I began feeling more anxious and jittery. I have decided to taper back to 30 mg, then re-evaluate and hopefully reduce to 20 mg. At this stage of my life I believe I will be on Paxil until I die. Just want to be comfortable and free of extreme anxiety and severe physical withdrawal symptoms. I am healthy, active and my only other prescription med is 25mg hydrochlorothiazide (a mild diuretic for elevated blood pressure.) I began tapering a month ago by pill cutting. From 40 mg. to 37.5 mg. Now beginning 35 mg. Have some mild physical symptoms: tinnitus, dizziness, jitteriness. Still manageable. Reading the posts here over past month has given me hope. Will try to insert withdrawal history in Signature if I can figure out how. Gracee
  21. Prestorb

    ☼ Prestorb

    Hello, I am encouraged to find this site as I feel like I am on an island alone in this effort to withdraw from SSRIs. I'm sure my husband is sympathetic, but he doesn't understand and he is probably just really tired of dealing with it. So I basically don't talk to anyone other than my therapist about it. It sucks, and yet I know the SSRIs need to go. I asked for a change in SSRI about six weeks ago, so my Pdoc recommended I taper off the 40 mg of Paxil at 10 mg per week, while starting Zoloft at 25 mg per then up to 50 mg. So now I am off the Paxil (generic) and only on the Zoloft at 25 mg - I didn't tolerate it well at all. I know I am having a lot of WD symptoms, and I am just trying to manage them as best I can, which is okay some days and not good other days. I also have an 11 year old son, although I am not working outside the home right now - which I often feel is part of the problem. But I am afraid to commit to anything until my emotions stabilize. I start crying for no reason and can't stop. Sorry to ramble, I'm not sure what else to write, just hoping to find support here. Thank you.
  22. Hey im a 23 year old female, i got on paxil at 18 years old so 5 years ago, iv been off cold turkey since febuary 20th of this year so 112 days. I tried to reisnstate 2 weeks ago i took the medication i think 4 times got an adverse reaction it caused extreme akathisia almost immediately. I stoped taking it and the akathisa is gone now. I knoq every single story is different every person is different, does anyone have a similar story to mine, of how long they were on the medication, the dose and when they started to feel better, sorry if this post is all over the place. I have severe issues concetrating, severe confusion alot and no deep emotions and i just cant think, dont feel connected. I just want atleast a full day or two that i feel like i can think and feel emotions i want to see when some of you guys broke through that wall when going cold turkey from a high dose of paxil and around 5 years being on it prior than you!!!
  23. Hi everyone, I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions for any books and/or videos on fear/phobia. I have Claire Weekes' book, Hope and Help For Your Nerves and while it has been of great help, I'm looking for something related more to dealing with fears. TY
  24. Hi all, I have been struggling off and on over the last 14 years with what I thought was anxiety the whole time, but am now realizing it was more likely withdrawal from stopping antidepressants too quickly. The first SSRI I was put on was Paxil. I tapered off after 7 months because I never really liked the idea of being on an antidepressant. I started having anxiety a few months later and was switched to 50 mg of Zoloft. I tried multiple times over the next 13 or so years to stop Zoloft, but the anxiety always returned, so back on I would go. In the fall of 2015 I had a return of anxiety after reducing the Zoloft to 25mg and tried to go back to 50, but it wasn't helping, so ended up going to 150mg before I felt relief. I again tried tapering last summer and got down to 25mg and experienced increased anxiety as well as insomnia. My doctor switched me to Lexapro last October, but it only made me more anxious, so after 10 weeks he switched me to Paxil. I got up to 20mg of Paxil for 3 weeks and wasn't feeling any better, so finally decided I had enough and wanted off the antidepressants. I started tapering at the end of January down to 15mg for 2 weeks, then 10 for 2 weeks, then to 7.5, and after about a week and a half at 7.5 started feeling really anxious again. I found this site and decided to go back up to 10mg of Paxil and stabilized for about 2 weeks and then started tapering 10%. Was doing pretty well for a couple of weeks at 9mg and then started feeling a little anxiety creep in. I talked to my doctor about switching to Prozac to make the tapering hopefully easier, so a week ago this Friday I started taking 4.5 mg each of Paxil and Prozac. I have experienced some ups and downs with anxiety since then, and am having a particularly difficult time right now. Feeling quite anxious and can't sleep. I took .5mg lorazepam tablet and am feeling a bit better, but not sure what to do now. I was going to switch to just 9mg of the Prozac and eliminate the Paxil tomorrow, but not sure if I should continue with the half and half mixture I have been doing or maybe even just go back to the Paxil alone? This just sucks so bad. I know I have probably screwed up my system so much with all of these changes and can only pray the damage is reversible. I was feeling pretty good earlier today, but then started feeling terrible as the evening went on. Haven't felt this bad in a while. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
  25. Thank god for a site like this, I feel like I have been going crazy for the last few years . I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet. I was put on Paxil when I was a teenager as my doctor thought it would help me get through some difficult years, counseling would of been a much better approach. I was sexually abused as a child but never told anybody so when I was a teenager I dealt with this by using recreational drugs to ease the pain . My parents thought it would be a quick fix being on an antidepressant to help me out. I used Paxil for years upping and lowering my dose from 20mg to 50mg as needed , thinking that I had to take them because I had a chemical imbalance . I never thought once coming of them or did I know the bad effects they can do to you. Only up until I had my last child three years ago everything changed. I was taking only 30mg of Paxil which my psychiatrist told me it would be fine for the baby . I had to have an emergency cesarean and had complications. I got a servers infection and that brought on my first panic attack and severe aniexty. My baby was going withdrawal from Paxil shaking and wouldn't sleep . The nurses was giving me strong painkillers that I think was making me worse , after 2 weeks in the maternity hospital I was then put in a mothers and baby unit at mental hospital . I only lasted a day as didn't won't to harm myself or my child , I just wanted this aniexty to stop ,I was constantly worrying and looking at it now my hormones would have been all over the place. I upped my medication to highest dose under my psychiatrist advice. I felt better in a few weeks. A year later I thought I was doing fine and lowered my dose and I crashed, couldn't eat waves of aniexty , agitation, dizziness, insomnia ,derealization and night sweats the list goes on. My psychiatrist then put me on Seraquel at night which seemed to work, but I was getting up in the middle of the night eating like crazy and then couldn't get up in the morning. So I stopped taking the 25mg of Seraquel. Back to my psychiatrist I went and he told me that he thought it would be a good idea to change to another antidepressant, his chose was Cymbalta and he wanted me to tapper my Paxil in 5 days and 3 days with nothing then start with 30mg of Cymbalta for 1 week 60mg for two weeks then 90mg for 2 weeks. I crashed very bad into my 2nd week in Cymbalta and went to see my psychiatrist again, who told me its my aniexty and depression coming back, which now I know is bullsh*t. I think I was having withdrawals from the Paxil . I went to a new psychiatrist who told me it was Cymbalta that was doing it to me and tapered me off Cymbalta again in a week and started me at 50mg of Zoloft for 3 days 75mg 3 days and now 100mg as well as still taking my 50mg of Seraquel. I feel like I won't to come off all of this and I know my family and friends aren't going to support me, as they don't understand. I halved my dose of Seraquel to 25mg 4 nights ago and my waves of aniexty are getting worse . I would love meet people on this site who can help me out with this. I have two beautiful children that are my life and I just want to be normal again and I think I would be better if a gave my brain a chance to heal itself but I'm very scared.
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