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  1. Started with postpartum depression 34 years ago - treated with imipramine. Went off it in a couple months.. Repeated four years later with next pregnancy. Again - off in a couple months. With third pregnancy 27 years ago I went on paxil and never went off. 10mg for 20 years and added welbutrin about five years ago. I would like to go off of the Paxil.
  2. Diehard

    Diehard: tapering

    Hello I am a 70 year old male! After 20 long years on Paxil 20mg and 3 years of Mirtazapine 15mg, for Dysthymia, I feel the need to start weaning off one of them, but which one? On comparing common side effects it appears the Mirtazapine could be the gremlin. It was prescribed to help me sleep but I still struggle so what's the point! I take both meds after my dinner at 7pm, but continue to snack till midnight. I feel emotionally and physically flat with all artistic passion out the window. I'm hoping my body would be better coping with just one poison! Any advice would be gratefully appreciated!
  3. Hi Guys, I am 27 year Old Male.It was in Mar 2015 I started to take Various Antidepressants (Luvox ,Paxil and Clonezepam) For Anxiety ,Panic Issues.I managed to get rid of Luvox by Jan 2016 and Have been Paxil+Clonezepam for the past 2 and half Years.However i tapered Clonezepam by Feb 2018 and Tapered of Paxil 12.5 Mg over a period of 1 and Half Months on Apr 22nd 2018.It has been 7 weeks since i took my last dose of Paxil. I am still struggling with 1)Noise and Light Sensitivity 2)Neuro Emotions 3)Chillness in Extremeties 4)Occasional Brain Zaps 5)Anxiety 6)Palpitations 7)Startling 8)Nervousness 9)Afraid of my future. 10)Fatigue How long will it take for me to get better? Any Help would be appreciated.
  4. Hello everyone, I am back again (form Paxil Progress.org) trying to hopefully attempt another ween off my Paxil. I have been on Paxil for 20 years, and have tried many attempts bot Dr's methods and 1 Paxil Progress org method. The last attempt was 8 years ago slowly weaning with liquid Paxil for up to 6 months, i remember many on that site letting me know that it was to quick and they were right i guess, because 3 weeks later i was back on the side effects were to difficult. So here i am again contemplating another journey, hello everyone, and i'm glad i found you guys again, but also sorry to see PP.org vanish. Does anyone know what actually cuaesd them to just shut down? MeAgain
  5. I have been off of Paxil completely for 3 months now after 13 years. Where do I get more info on the healing process. I am depressed, moody, impatient, tearful and having difficulty working due to the stress in my job. Will normal ever come back? I am so tempted to go back on drugs but after having 4 month terrible months of withdrawal I hate to go backwards. Any words of advice or sites for more info.... I had no idea that after 2 months of being drug free that I would still struggle so much emotionally
  6. My third and hopefully final attempt to get off Paxil is here I start March 1st of this year, which is just around the corner. I have a lot of hope It will be over 3 years, but I feel good about my taper plan. Thankful for this site of encouragement and testimonies - I will be praying for freedom for you all! I've included a photo of my handwritten taper plan. The length of time is in months. Will keep this updated for whoever cares to read. Let's do this.
  7. I joined this site a couple of weeks ago. After finding that paxilprogress was no more. I was devastated. That site may have truly saved my life in some of my darkest moments. What is one to do? When essentially you've self-destructed in front of everyone you love; because of a nasty little "non-habit-forming" pill that's been shoved down your throat for decades. So here I am. Time (weeks really) has eluded me. I meant to reach out sooner. I'm just hoping I'm not reaching out too late. I feel like such a horrible failure. I know better than that at some level, know that maybe I failed but that I just have to pick up the broken pieces and keep moving forward. But I'm so I'll. I'm so weak. I'm so alone. And I feel so helpless. My life may not have been a picnic before the introduction of SSRIs. But this is one situation in which the grass was truly greener on the side of which I was already standing. Before popping that first "innocent" little pink pill, prescribed by a doctor who had seen me only once and only spent 10 minutes "getting to know me". I couldn't tell you who that doctor was, I never saw him again. Nevertheless he was the first in probably nearly a hundred who have insisted upon continuing the saga. And what better did I know? I was unhappy before the meds. I was often unstable on them. And I was clueless as to why I was saying and doing psychotic things (that I often didn't remember, or just have "snippets" of memory after the fact) and so violently ill when I decided I simply no longer wanted to take the pills. Or was even 12 hours late on a dose. (More about that and my travels down genetic testing road and CYP450 mutations later.) All that being said; Hello to all in these forums. I'm the antisocial one. The antisocial one that sometimes doesn't know when it's appropriate to shut up. Or how to appropriately ask for help. But if you've been through it (psych med-wise), I probably have too. And vice versa.
  8. Hey guys my name is Steve and I grew up with terrible anxiety. I found out around age 12 when i was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and started therapy. Nothing worked and eventually I was prescribed to paxil. I was on roughly 40 mg for at least ten years. At some point i switched it to 20 mg and had no issue doing so. I remained at that 20mg dose for the remainder of my time on paxil. There was a few times i tried to quit unsuccessfully and reinstated. I would have the hardest time breathing, that seems to be my biggest symptom(which was never part of my original anxiety). Now I am 33 and have successfully weaned down from the 20 mg to 0 over the period of a few months. The process was terrible but i managed it knowing that I did not want this stuff to be inside my body any longer. My last dose was exactly 76 days ago. As of lately I have had a lot of shortness of breath and intense anxiety. I still am getting brain zaps and vertigo so I am hoping what i feel is still indeed withdrawal/discontinuation as apposed to a emergence of new anxiety symptoms. Once I fall asleep I seem to have no issues. It seems when I can distract myself I can forget how I am feeling. I was not expecting to get hit with a wave like this at nearly 3 months off. I was hoping someone who has been through this before could shed some light on my issues. thanks
  9. Well I have always had some sort of anxiety my whole life. Of course, nowhere NEAR as bad as the anxiety WD has caused me. I missed school a ton growing up cause it just made me anxious to be around a lot of people and I was very shy. Just the thought of having to go to school gave me a nervous stomachache. This led to me actually dropping out for a while in high school. Thankfully I was able to enroll in an alternative high school with very small classes where we could go at our own pace and make our own hours. I was able to graduate and get my diploma in under 2 years. I've also had OCD for as long as I can remember. I was tormented by my intrusive thoughts and thought there was something very wrong with me or I was possessed. When I was around 11 or 12 I was looking in a psychology book for some answers and when I read the description for OCD I had a Eureka moment. "That's me!" I was so happy I started crying. So I guess I diagnosed myself but it was later confirmed by a child psychologist. Around 1998 (when I was 18 years old) is when I started seeing commercials on TV for Paxil. Again, when I heard the description I thought it sounded a lot like me. I had just been broken up with by a guy for being "too shy". I was hating how reserved I was and my "social anxiety." It had been getting even worse as now I was getting very nervous and racing heart when in restaurants or standing in line at the store. So I went to a psychiatrist and told him I wanted this drug, Paxil. After a LONG questionnaire and hearing my symptoms he agreed it might help me. I asked him if I could stop taking it any time I wanted and he said "Yes." LIE. That was the day I made the worst decision of my life and I will always regret taking that first pill. So I started the Paxil at 20mg and had no start up effects that I can remember. A few months later I took a trip by myself on a bus half way across the country. So I gues the Paxil was "working." I also missed a couple of doses and that is when I found out about the horrible WD. Zaps, crazy sensitivity to noises, nausea, etc. It scared the crap out of me. Felt like I was stuck on this poison. The years start to pass and I begin to become numb to everything. I gain 30 pounds, which doesn't sound like much but on someone 5'2" with a small frame it definitely shows. Although I was in a relationship I became more and more disinterested in sex. My favorite hobby was sleeping. I had zero ambition and zero motivation. In 2002, my BF at the time finally convinced me to try to get off this drug. I started taking 2.5mg drops every month or so from 30-40mg (cant remember exactly). As I got lower my interest in sex returned and I felt good. I decided to go on birth control. Two weeks after starting it I crashed completely. I was at about 10mg of Paxil at that time. One morning I woke up to nausea, some vomiting, a horrible burning sensation everywhere in my body, horrible anxiety, and the dreaded akathisia which was by far the worse symptom. I became suicidal and made an emergency appt. with a psychiatrist (not the one who initially prescribed it) who talked to me for 15 minutes and said this was proof I needed to be on the drug for the rest of my life. She proceeded to up my dose back to 30mg. I slowly started to feel better and the experience was enough to scare me away from attempting to taper off for several years. In Dec. 2006 after I get out of that relationship I feel something needs to change in my life. I was very unhappy with who I was. So I once again start to taper from 37.5mg. In 2008 I make it 20mg and decide to take a break. I go out with friends, I drink ALOT. Sleeping, smoking pot, eating, and drinking alcohol are my favorite activities. The break lasts for a whole year. In 2009 I commence my taper, but I notice it's getting a lot harder, which would make sense since besides the crash in 2002 I have never been on a dose lower than 20mg. I have to reduce my drops to less than 5%. At around 15mg in Aug. 2009 I get a part time job I love but I'm so scared of having WD at work that I take even smaller drops. In a year at that job I drop about 3mg. In 2010 I start to have stomach problems and anxiety increases. I have to stop eating red meat completely as I notice it makes my stomach problems worse. I carry a bottle of Pepto Bismol in my purse with me everywhere I go. Stomach problems give me anxiety and vice versa so it's a vicious cycle. Finally in Aug. 2010 I'm spending most of my time at my job in the bathroom so I decide to quit the best job I ever had. Probably just as well as about a month later is when the crap really hits the fan. In late September I take a 4% drop from 11.8 to 11.4. I get a little depression after about a week. Two weeks after that I try to eat a bit of red meat and visit the website of someone I used to know and it makes me very anxious. Several hours later I begin to feel very nauseous and anxious. I finally make myself throw up and feel a little better. I sleep a lot the next two days. The day after that however I stop sleeping completely. My anxiety goes into overdrive. I have no appetite and can't eat. I feel shaky, and depressed. My brain has forgotten how to sleep all of a sudden although I have never had insomnia in my entire life previous to this. If I do pass out it is for less than a hour. For 9 days I sleep one hour every 3 days. I see weird cartoony things when I close my eyes. I hear things that I know are not there. Once I had an awful bloody image flash into my mind out of nowhere when trying to fall asleep that "woke me up" with a gasp. I try everything over the counter: Benadryl, herbal sleep pills, melatonin, valerian. Nothing works. Finally someone gives me some Xanax and Trazadone. I take .50mg of Xanax and 25mg of Trazadone. Instead of sleeping one hour I sleep two. The next day I am more groggy than the night before and I am FINALLY able to sleep 5-6 very broken hours. I also updose to 12mg. I start to feel a little better but this doesn't last long. Three weeks later my stomach starts acting up again and I am unable to sleep. Not only am I unable to sleep but now every time I am about to fall asleep my body violently jerks awake. It is torture. I decide to start dropping again. I find I feel a little better after a drop but it doesn't last long. I start to drop every 3 weeks. The depression is still so bad cause I don't know what's wrong with me and my body keeps jerking awake, usually all night. I become suicidal and try to suffocate myself one night. Then I realize, I DON'T want to die. I just don't want to keep living like this. By the grace of God I make it through. I lose about 15 pounds in 4 weeks. I guess this brings us up to present, fifteen months after that "rough patch" or "mini crash". I still have no idea what caused it. The jerks are still here and still drive me insane but thankfully they have weakened and are not as relentless (usually) as they used to be. My sleep has never been the same since. I take magnesium and melatonin every night to sleep. If I get even slightly stimulated good or bad I am unable to sleep. Even going out with friends stimulates me too much and I am unable to sleep. I can't exercise for even 10 minutes cause it makes my jerks worse. I am still not working. I have found it has gotten even harder under 10mg. I have gone from tapering every 3 weeks to every six weeks. From 4% drops to not even being able to do 2.5% drops. I taper .1mg every 6 weeks. At this rate it will take me 6+ years to get to off if I can at all. I read on the other forum about someone who was going as slow as me and she STILL crashed at 6mg. I'm very hopeless. I am so freaking sensitive to drops and can't imagine how I will ever get off this poison. It has been three years since I started tapering from 20mg and I'm not even close to being off. I'm too scared to switch to Prozac because of all the horror stories I've heard and the fact that it is notoriously activating. If I try to hold on a dose longer than 7 weeks I feel very bad. I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Really don't know how to proceed and if I will ever get my life back. I am 31 now and would very much be able to have kids someday. I'm single and have been for a long time cause I can't even go out anymore and meet people. When I do go out, I don't sleep like I said. So that's it. Thanks if you took the time to read this LONG, LONG introduction. I pray for all you guys and I hope you will pray for me too. XX
  10. Hello everyone, I am a first time poster, long time Paxil user. I have been on Paxil for about 12 years or so, prescribed by my doctor to combat anxiety. My anxiety was never severe, I just fell down the slippery slope of Paxil use after what should have just been a bump in the emotional road for me. Long story short, I've decided to taper off of the Paxil 20mg (down from 40mg a couple years prior). This year my doc advised me to cut from 20mg to 10mg. (I know now, way too much and too fast). I had brain zaps, irritablilty, and vivid dreams (which I actually don't mind since they are usually pleasant) and some dizziness. After a few weeks I was feeling OK enough to go from 10mg to 5mg. I was good for about 3 weeks. But the next two weeks I suffered from severe anxiety - unlike any kind of despairing feeling I've ever had in my life! I suddenly became an emotional wreck and was just at wits end. So I went from 5mg Paxil back up to 10mg. A week or so later - hives. Hives, - small ones, on my neck or forearms. They'd go away after a couple hours so I didn't put too much worry into it. Then a week after these small hive appearances, I had a really bad outbreak of hives on my legs, which I thought was just a heat rash. I didn't take an anti-histamine, I hate the way they make me feel. Big mistake. I ended up waking up at 4 in the morning, itching terribly all over my body. I was searching for Benadryl downstairs when my wife found me - at which point I was getting dizzy and nauseous. I was going into anaphylactic shock. My wife and I both thought I was dying, my children sobbing as they waited by the front door for the ambulance to arrive. I've never had allergies really. I am allergic to cats, it turns out, but I've had my cat for 3 years (a Persian which I found to not feel allergic reactions to in the past- and who has since been living with my brother till this all gets ironed out). So this anaphylaxis was not something I was prepared for. An amulance ride later, they told me I had some kind of allergic reaction. A few weeks later, after seeing an allergist, he suspected my bizarre reaction to be caused by a medicine (not a food or other allergen). I only take Paxil, and Propecia. (which I've stopped last week to try to rule that out as a cause of the hives). I still get small areas of redness on my skin, primarily when I wake up in the AM. And for now I'm on antihistimines, which I dislike greatly. I am wondering if the traumatic, despair-like anxiety feelings I suffered, and then yo-yo-ing back to a higher dosage of Paxil did a number on my body and made me overly sensitive to histamines, or my cat. Since my allergist suspected Paxil as a possible cause of the hives/anaphylaxis, I have since tapered back down to 5mg, and three days ago down to 2.5mg. I suspect its not the actual Paxil causing the hives, but the withdrawal itself, the toll it takes on my body and mind. Just hoping putting my story out there, if anyone can relate to such a physical reaction like what I experienced, and if they too, think it is related to the Paxil withdrawl. Thanks for reading. Cheers
  11. (mod note)link to teePeer1's benzo forum thread: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/19092-how-to-taper-the-used-as-needed-benzo-or-sparing-benzo-use/ Dear all, I gradually tapered to 10 mg of paxil from 40 and also tapered off benzo (3mg to 0) both slowly over a period of months. Long story short, I thought I was near the fonish line. However, when I taperedd to 10 mg from 15 mg paxil and stopped a doze of less than .25 benzos things got rough after two weeks. My issues are mostly related to night:severe anxiety, hyper alertness, pounding heart. It was so bad a couple of nights that I resorted to taking a small dose of lexatonil. Now I am afraid of what strategy to follow next. My experience with psychiatrists have been pretty bad during my taper and I am afraid if I go back they will put me on more meds. Should I go back to 15 mg paxil from 10 and is it safe to use half a tablet of benzo at night to brave through the night? (Though i am afraid of benzo withdrawals too) I would appreciate any suggestions on how to stabilize my situation at this stage and dosage?
  12. Hi. I Hope someone can help. I have been on 15mg Mirtazapine for 8 months, I started it the end of of September 2017. Stupidly, I went cold turkey for 4 days, didnt like withdrawals (lack of sleep, aches and pains) etc, so I reinstated back to full-dose . After nine days back on 15mg I still had not stabilised. I was improving, but getting dizzy spells, some anger and anxiety. So I reduced my dose to 7.5mg and have been on this dosage for the passed 6 weeks and have been through hellish withdrawals. At present I sleep about 4 or 5 hours and wake with akathisia (anxiety) everyday. This lasts till about 12 midday and then turns to deep depression with some suicidal ideation and general low mood till about 7pm when I start to feel normal again. I did not have this morning anxiety, low mood previous to the drop-in dosage, indeed I have never suffered from anxiety. IS IT TO LATE TO REINSTATE BACK TO 15mg ? as I really can't handle this morning anxiety any more. In summery : 15mg Mirtazapine for 8 months cold turkey 4 days reinstatement 15 mg for 9 days reduced dosage 7.5mg for passed 6 weeks. I must also add that prior to being put on Mirtazapine I was on seroxat (Paxil) for 14 years. It pooped out. My gp cross tapered me from one to the other over 4 weeks. So virtually a cold turkey off the seroxat. After six weeks off the Seroxat I crashed so tried to reinstate that but only lasted 10 days my body just couldn't take it. Whilst the last eight months haven't been great on just 15mg of Mirtazapine due to sensitised CNS from seroxat withdrawal, they were a dam site better than the last 6 weeks. In retrospect I think I should have persevered with the original updosage back to 15mg of Mirt for longer than nine days but I panicked as I thought after only 4 days off I should have stabilised after 2 or 3 In short, after 6 weeks on 7.5mg is it to late to reinstate back to 15mg of Mirt and if I do, how long would it take to stabilise ?. Or should I not rock the boat any further and just stay on 7.5 and hope for things to improve, but symptoms are pretty much unbearable at the moment, I am a complete mess . Please help. Any advice would be much appreciated.
  13. Hello everybody, This is my first post here. I'm feeling terrible right now and could really use some help. Long story short, I reduced my Paxil way too fast. I was taking Paxil 20mg and was reducing it once a week by 2.5 mg. I was coping okay until I reduced from 10 to 7.5 at which point withdrawal started about 5 days to a week later and severe withdrawal began about two weeks at 7.5mg. After two weeks of 7.5mg and the onset of severe withdrawal I upped my dose to 10mg. Felt a bit better, but the withdrawal did not disappear. One week later upped to 15. Still not feeling better, but my symptoms did improve a bit for a time. I stayed on this dose for another just short of 3 weeks. This brings us to two days ago when I started feeling the withdrawal symptoms worst yet again and decided to go back up to 20mg. Today is my third dose of 20mg and I feel terrible today with withdrawal symptoms. Please help. I thought that the withdrawal symptoms would disappear quickly after upping my dose of the drug. Is it unusual that it is taking me so long to stabilize again? It's been almost a month since I upped my dose, why am I not getting better? My withdrawal symptoms are: -extreme fatigue and lethargy -chills -very minor nausea and headache that comes and goes -anxiety Any help would be appreciated so very, very much.
  14. Hi Everyone - I was put on Paxil 16 years ago, when I was 19, for generalized anxiety. I tried to get off it once, when they tapered me off 20 mg over two weeks after I had been taking the drug for a year. This was, clearly, a disaster, and I never tried again. Now I am deeply, deeply regretting not starting the taper earlier. I had NO idea how long it would take. I was thinking *maybe* a year. It seems like this will not be the case for me. I started at 15 mg in February 2018, and I'm now down to 8.8 mg, or rather 4.4 mL, as I've switched to liquid. I started by tapering 1 mg a month, which went fine for the first month. However, the next month I started experiencing panic attacks - even though I had never experienced a panic attack before. So I did some research and switched to tapering at 0.5 mg every two weeks. Once I went to liquid, because of the measuring syringe I had, I switched to tapering 0.2 mL (0.4 mg equivalent) every two weeks. This went fine until I got to 4.2 mL. I was rendered non-functional - so dizzy, couldn't remember ANYTHING for more than a few seconds, forgetting words, etc. It was horrible, and I couldn't do my job. So I went back up to 4.4 mL, where I have been for the past two weeks. I need to figure out what to do next. On a side note, but a super important one, I'm freaking out about how long this is going to take because I was thinking maybe I wanted kids, and I can't have kids on Paxil. I'm not sure what to do about that. I'm 35, and I don't have five years to try to get off Paxil and then have children. Maybe I can cross taper to Zoloft? I have no idea. So I'm lost. And looking for support. Already super excited about the information I've found here. My psychiatrist is not super helpful, and I've developed the schedule myself. She originally suggested a much faster one. Sigh. Thanks for reading!
  15. Hi all, I have been checking out this website for a long time but have never posted before. I have been on Paxil for 12 years at a dose of 20 mg. After a failed attempt at stopping the drug in 2012 and thankfully finding this site, I have been reducing slowly for nearly 5 years. I have been reducing using 10% drops every 6-8 weeks. However, there have been times when I have struggled and stayed at a dose for longer periods. I am now at a dose of 0.8 mg. I could really use some advice as I have been really struggling ever since I have dropped below 1.2 mg. My symptoms are sll purely physical and I can't seem to find any 'windows'. I can't help but wonder if I should just stop taking the drugs. Maybe I am experiencing side effects rather than withdrawal at this stage. Has anyone experienced real trouble at such low doses? Thanks for any advice!
  16. Hello! Seeking advice and support having discovered how dependent I am after over 20 yrs of taking paroxetine. Withdrawal symptoms of extreme sustained insomnia, excessive sweating and intense anxiety are making life unbearable and I am horrified at how ignorant I have been about my meds. I now realise GP probably made things worse by suggesting a change to mirtazapine before returning to paroxetine. GP suggested back to 20mg but I couldn't bare the thought of possibly having to repeat the withdrawal so decided on ½ dose (10mg). Not sure if I've done the right thing as still have severe symptoms after 7 days. I now realise all these changes were far too fast but do I hang on to this dose to see if I stabilise and how long do I give it?? I'm just beginning to realise that this is likely to be life changing....not what I'd planned at 58....as may well loose my job and it's a huge strain on family and friends. It's confusing and frightening. See gp on Thurs and feel it would be good to have an idea of what I should be aiming for re medication. He gave me propranolol (a beta blocker) for the anxiety but I've since discovered it could be contributing to the insomnia. Has anyone got any experience of that? With thanks and hoping to be able to share experiences!
  17. Hello, I have recently found this site and it's been a tremendous relief to see other people going through similar things. Withdrawal and anxiety can be such isolating experiences, especially when your doctor or psychiatrist doesn't seem to have any concrete knowledge of the way it works for many people. I began taking 30mg of Paxil in 2004 during an episode of major depression and anxiety. It helped me regain my stability and in addition to the medication I spent many years in psychotherapy. I considered going off the drug many times but even skipping one dose made me feel physically ill and my psychiatrist also warned me that because I had suffered a previous episode of depression, I was likely to relapse. In the fall of 2017, my partner and I decided we wanted to try having a baby and on the advice of my doctor, I began weaning off Paxil, decreasing the dose by 7.5 g each month. I know realize that was probably way too fast but I didn't have any serious problems until I stopped it completely. My doctor's recommendation was to switch to 50mg Zoloft/Sertraline but I wanted to see if I could go without drugs. I lasted a month. At first it was mainly physical symptoms: nausea, dizzines, diahrrea, muscle pain, headaches but then anxiety set in and I ended up in the ER. I began taking 50mg of Zoloft/Sertraline in February buteven after several weeks didn't notice much improvement. They increased my dose to 100 and then 150mg but the anxiety persisted and I got terrible diahrrea and began losing weight at an alarming rate. I went back down to 50mg and continue there. In February, March and part of April (?) I was taking .5mg of Lorazepam each morning and evening to function and sleep but have stopped that. I only take it very occasionally when I really need a good night's sleep or feel a panic attack coming. I have had good weeks and bad weeks and the idea of "windows and waves" really resonates with me. I have a couple weeks where I feel like myself and then the anxiety returns and hangs around for a week or two. I've been taking care of myself as well as possible: exercise, meditation, diet, time with friends, and that helps but it seems like the only thing that is really going to make a difference is time. I have a couple of questions for my fellow SA members'. Do you recommend magnesium citrate? I'm not taking any supplements because I'm trying to get my nutrients from food and I also don't want to get my hopes up that if I just find the right combination of vitamins and minerals and powders that I will be cure. Secondly, I've been taking Zoloft for almost 5 months now and I can't say that I have noticed any huge benefit. It doesn't seem to be helping with the anxiety at all. I don't want to double my withdrawal misery but I also don't want to stay on it too long and make it harder for myself later. I've been contemplating halving my dose and seeing what happens. During the time I was increasing and lowering my dose by 50mg over these previous months, I didn't notice any significant changes in my mood or mental state, FYI. Any thoughts?
  18. Hey everyone, I'm new here and I've seen many helpful threads. There must be lots on Paxil withdrawal but there's so much to go through, I hope y'all can help me out regardless. Basically, I used to be on 40 mg of Paxil. I'm coming off it in order to get on a mood stabilizer, started taking 30 mg before yesterday. I'm experiencing quite the bothersome symptoms: severe dizziness, loss of appetite and feeling numb (rather than me the usual depressed). Can anyone relate to these while having been on the same dosage of Paxil? How are you dealing with the withdrawal symptoms and how long did they last? Thanks for reading and wishing you all well!
  19. Looking for Shep to make a spreadsheet for me. I’m trying to taper Xanax and someone on this site recommended you to make a spreadsheet for me. I need to spread out my doses. I am very scared not sure how to do signature ive tapered to 5mgs of paxil need to spread out Xanax dosing and taper 4mgs
  20. I have spent the last week in bed reading this site over and over, combing through the words, looking for some sign of hope. In 1997 I was placed on Paxil 20mg after a traumatic event; I was 16 at the time. At the time my parents were told I could come off anytime, no risk of anything. As soon as I was put on, I started experiencing very intense side effects but I was also in the throws of severe PTSD with constant panic attacks, insomnia, terror... So it was hard to say which was which. I remained on the Paxil until 2009. In 2009, I decided I wanted to go off. I never thought to google or look online, I just asked my OBGYN. She said that it's best to go slow, and gave me liquid paxil. She said to go down 5mg a month. I wish I could recall the details of how I tapered down between 20 and 8 but I honestly cannot. All I know is that I never had any side effects at all. Sometimes I would have brain zaps, and weird dreams that started just as I dozed off, but for the most part I was A-OK. NO other side effects at all and the ones I did have only lasted a few days at most. Fast forward to this year. After being on 8mg for years, I decided I wanted to try coming off because I was feeling chubby (if I'm being honest). Let me also state that this last year has been, without a doubt the most stressful time of my entire life. We moved, started new jobs, I was sexually harassed at work, I ended up working 3 jobs, nonstop SNS in overdrive. I say this, because I'm honestly not sure if what I am experiencing is Paxil related so I want to give the full details and story here. On February 3rd 2018 I took my liquid Paxil dose from 8mg - 7.5mg. Again, I had never googled this, I just kind of made it up in my head. I didn't know there was anything to even google because other than my OBGYN saying briefly to go down slow, I didn't even know withdrawal was a thing. Everything was great. ZERO side effects. However, in my life, everything fell apart. My 8 year old daughter get very, very ill, I had to quit one of my jobs due to extreme stress and abuse from a man, and money troubles were up. I was truly in a state of full blown stress - even more hormones were a mess. But still, I was going going going because I just don't know when to quit I suppose. Then, on March 5th, I went to bed and couldn't sleep. Each time I would lay down, I'd get a HUGE surge of adrenaline through my entire body. I'd drift to sleep but be woken by these intense jolts that would leave me throwing up. The first night I was afraid, but I was OK. But then when this happened again the second night, and 3rd night, I began to develop second fears and began to become terrified that something was wrong with me. I went straight to the doctor and begged her to help me. She said my chronic stress had caused me SNS to go into extreme haywire and told me to take Xanax to sleep. That night I took the xanax (I think it was .5) and it didn't help me sleep. Instead I just laid there terrified that I wasn't sleeping. At this point, the ONLY thing I was experiencing was insomnia and anxiety related to the insomnia because I am terrified of not sleeping since I was a little girl. I went to my doctor again, and she said it was just the extreme stress from the year and asked me about my Paxil. I told her I was on 7.5 and she said to go to 14mg. I have since read the incredibly informative post about how this is a horrible idea, but again, I had no reason to even suspect anything at all is wrong with Paxil or with the doctor. None. I went home and took the 14mg liquid Paxil on March 28th. On April 2nd I felt great. April 3rd- 9th I was back to my old self 100%, sleeping nonstop, going about my life. I was still a bit worried by the lack of sleep that happened, but tried not to think about it. And then BOOM two days before my period on April 10th, (sorry if TMI) the insomnia came roaring back - same with the adrenaline surges. I have not been able to sleep more than 1 hour at a time since, and when I do sleep I'm not really sleeping. It's like a half awake thing with adrenaline flashes constantly going off in my body. I'm exhausted. Beyond. I thought it was just my hormones going bananas due to the stress. I called a hormone doctor and she said it sounded just like peri-menopause and to come right in. I went two days ago and she said my hormones were crazy and these symptoms sounded like they were hormonal. But something wasn't right. It wasn't just the insomnia anymore - although I'm wondering if the insomnia is what is causing all of my other symptoms. Possible severe Adrenal Fatigue? Nervous breakdown? PTSD with my SNS stuck on? When I read the list of symptoms of Paxil withdrawal every single one fits - but those same symptoms are in line with SNS response from PTSD as well. Sounds, smells, dizzy, insomnia, burning skin, numb hands and feet, severe depersonalization, OCD obsession with looking up symptoms and possible causes all day every single day... I'm coming to you with my heart broken. I miss my beautiful children. I miss my life. I miss my husband and our family. I wish I could go back in time and figure out where I went wrong. Do you think it is possible that going from 8-7.5 on February 3rd could suddenly cause insomnia on March 5th? Even though it was such a tiny decrease and I'd never had any symptoms of withdrawal before? Also, I *know* I made a HUGE mistake taking the Paxil 14mg on March 28th. I hadn't slept since March 4th and I promise I had no clue this could even be bad. I thought Paxil was like a vitamin that fixed a deficiency I had. (Which I've since read on here, is not the truth). Will I eventually stabilize at 14mg? And then go down again from there? How long until I stabilize? If I go down on the 14mg at this point I'll just freak out my body even more, right? If this is adrenal fatigue or PTSD my SNS won't stabilize on the Paxil until those things are remedied? But this whole thing is causing even more PTSD. The nightmares and visions at night are the most horrifying things I have ever experienced. Night after night. Ugh. What do I do now? I SO respect and appreciate the moderators who give such careful and direct advice on here, and I am wondering how they would approach my situation Thank you. I know this is long. I just want to get it all on here to get the best advice for me and my little family. Thank you so much.
  21. Hi everyone. I've been reading this forum for a while to seek help but this is the first time I'm posting something because I'm losing my hope. Sorry in advance if I make some mistakes, English is not my native language. My story starts with when I first went to a psychiatrist for social anxiety. She put me on Paxil 20 mg. And it worked well, making my physical symptoms like racing heart go away. Then at some point, I think it was during the 5th month of Paxil, I suddenly started to feel constantly bored, but at the same time nothing would interest me. That was when I first thought paxil was changing me in a bad way because I had never felt that something like that. I was starting to lose interest in my hobbies too. When I told this to my psychiatrist, she raised the dose to 30 mg which gave me large mystery bruises and didn't help with the bored feeling, so I decided to drop the dose to 15 mg by myself (how smart). I actually told this to another psychiatrist because I was studying at university away from home and had to go to the hospital there. Guess what? He was okay with it. So, probably 2 months with 15 mg, and a month(?) with 7,5 mg, I somehow quicky tapered and quit Paxil because I knew it wasn't doing anything good anymore. (I took it for 11 months in total.) Now, the first withdrawal symptoms... They were terrible. I literally turned into a raging monster for the first two weeks, felt disgusted of myself, wanted to rip my skin off. Like, there was this heavy, disgusting, burning feel in my chest and I just wanted to get rid of it. Those symptoms faded away within a month while loss of interest and anhedonia got stronger. 3 months later, I went to that psychiatrist who said tapering from 30 to 15 was okay and he wanted to put me on Paxil 20 mg again. I was so desperate to get rid of anhedonia so I took one pill and two days later I was already talking with another psychiatrist because I knew Paxil wasn't the answer. She told me that I had MDD and prescribed me Trintellix 10 mg, so I took one pill of that too. It gave me a slightly swollen left eye with a sharp pain inside and I felt the pain was there for 6 days so I thought it's over, I'm done with antidepressants. I started researching online and educating myself. Currently taking supplements like Omega 3, Magnesium and Zinc. Still it's been 6 months since I quickly tapered Paxil and 3 months since I took those last two pills (1 paxil and 1 trintellix). I don't get windows, it's just some days are more bearable but in general I feel like I'm getting more depressed. I was a brilliant student who enjoyed studying, draw everyday, dance or just watch tv shows and laugh. Now, I don't feel anything doing them even if I force myself to do so. I feel apathetic, like a robot. Paxil stole my emotions, passions, creativity and left me with nothing. I don't even remember how I felt during the times I actually enjoyed things. I have zero appetite, my arms and legs feel so heavy (this is a fairly new symptom). Will I ever get my emotions/interest in life back? Is this even normal during withdrawal or is it really MDD? Should I take another supplements? Any advice would be much appreciated. I really wish the best for everyone who suffer from withdrawal symptoms.
  22. Alixxchan

    Alixxchan: Paxil

    I had an immediate reaction to Paxil, for the past month I have been having seizures, nobody knew why. I wasn’t epileptic, and everything was fairly normal, so day before last I was diagnosed with pseudo seizures, told me it was in my head and there was probably some emotional trauma and stress I wasn’t dealing with, and the emergency room doctor prescribed me with Paxil, so next morning comes. I take my Paxil at 8 am. By 9 am, I am having horrible diarrhea, all day long. Around 2:30 I started to get a bit jittery feeling, I start flinging my left hand and pretty soon my whole arm is flailing, I can’t control it, so I decide to go sit on the couch, then my legs start kicking up and down and they go faster and faster, till my whole body is shaking and I’m going into full body convulsions, I start burning up, every thing is hot. My convulsions made me fall off the couch onto the ground, I’m full conscious now, but my arms and legs are still flailing, I’m hitting my hands so hard on the hard wood floor they are starting to bruise but I can’t stop, during all of this my heart rate is at like 165, so my mom calls 911,they said my pupils are dilated and asked if I had taken any drugs today, I say no. Just the Paxil. So we get to the hospital, I’m super unstable at this point, my heart rate is insane, blood pressure is climbing and I’m having full body convulsions every 30 seconds and I’m drenched in my own sweat. The hospital was rude by the way, they were like yeah I guess it could be a reaction to the Paxil, the Paxil their emergency room prescribed but we can’t say fersure, just don’t take it anymore. Here’s some Ativan since you seem to be having some severe Anxiety, which I wasn’t. even with the Ativan it didn’t stop the convulsions completely and my heart rate was still 100, they sent me home maybe like 35 mins of being there and said well it’s gonna take a couple of days to flush it out of your system, here’s your Ativan and good luck basically. All in all terrible experience
  23. I was on Paxil 23 years, prescribed as a result of a car accident/mild brain injury - talk about adding insult to injury......my mood was low, I had chronic pain, raising three young boys while also running a family business......I regret the day I put that first pill in my mouth. I had tried to go off them a few times over the years, always ending up pleading to go back on I felt so terrible...”clearly, my condition had worsened, or so they said” i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 10 plus years ago and amitriptyline was prescribed, in addition to my Paxil. Surprisingly, this condition resolved once i stoped the Paxil? I have recently weaned myself off - drug free Feb/18....during tapering I carefully supplemented with amino acids to avoid the brain zaps (caution needed with amino acids * serotonin syndrome* can cause life threatening event*)......I felt amazing, the unrelenting fatigue was gone for the first time in 23 years, no more fibromyalgia, I was able to easily get out of bed in the morning, no long naps, the likes of which, had become my trademark .......more access to my feelings......unfortunately, this did not last.... Then came the violent persistent suicidal thoughts - from out of nowhere and very unlike me.....the thoughts felt like they were coming from a source other than my own mind if that makes any sense....they became so frightening I stopped all supplementation for fear it might be worsening it, I then tried homeopathy (this is way off the beaten track for me) this has lessened the intensity, they are much more gentle instead of violent but still suicidal thoughts none the less......could this be progress? Feelings of having ruined my life, absolute, utter despair, nothing left to look forward to.......cannot focus - no interest or ability to finish a novel or movie - who cares how it ends.....anger at people ,places and things way out of proportion.....it feels as if all my unfelt emotions over the years are coming to the surface, all at once......I was once very people orientated, enjoyed a good chat and keeping up with friends......now it seems a real burden....some days I do not think I can bear it......but then I get an easier day and it gives me hope that I can heal from this terrible science experiment....and I wonder how many others are struggling just like me........someone mentioned windows and waves - I feel this to be a very helpful way to think about what’s going on ....looking forward to my next window........could it be today? Usually I know almost before I am fully awake if it’s a wave or a window.........I have joined a couple forums such as these and find them to be of tremendous help - Just knowing others have made it to stable ground and that maybe I will too, gives me Hope.
  24. Hi, i'm new to this forum, so forgive me if i make mistakes, i'm still learning. I'm about two years out from withdrawing off of Paxil that i tapered down on, and about one year from one situational exposure to benzodiazepines, and two years from consistent benzodiazepine usage (the klonopin,) as i withdrew both the antidepressant and the benzodiazepine at the same time. I am drug free for an entire year. The drugs tagged in my post are also drugs i have been previously exposed to, or had other exposures in the same class of drugs, (E.g, i have also been exposed to zoloft, prozac, and pristiq in the "Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor" category over the course of 14 years, though paxil was my last exposure to an SSRI drugs.) For the sake of simplicity, i will spare the details. I am posting here today because i am struggling with a couple issues that the specialists i've seen cannot help me with, and i hope to find resources here. I have ruled out thyroid issues, cardiovascular issues, vitamin deficiency in standard ranges, and other infectious disease issues through doctors and testing. I am debating about seeing an endocrinologist, but have lost a lot of faith in medicine since my psychiatric outpatient stent and the answers for my health that continue to elude me. I have listed my main issues below: 1. Fatigue - From what i've read and am trying to understand, fatigue can be a huge factor in antidepressant and benzodiazipine post acute withdrawal because of potential effects on hormones and neurotransmitters. I've also read that amphetamine withdrawal, especially in the context of abuse can cause fatigue, but my exposure to amphetamines was a decade ago, so i don't know if that could still be a contributing factor or not? The fatigue seems to come on intermittently, i drink green tea to help with wakefulness as the fatigue can feel debilitating throughout the day, and i feel like my brain just doesn't want to function on all gears. I am also sensitive to caffeine - if i ingest more than normal it can send me into a panic attack. My intermittent benzodiazepine exposure last year was in part induced by too much coffee, but i used to drink a pot of coffee a day without too much anxiety on paxil. 2. Emotional Blunting - I know that emotional blunting is also a factor in both benzodiazepine and antidepressant use and withdrawal, but i am a little perplexed that i still feel difficulty with emotional attachment. I theorize that this may be due to the benzodiazepine withdrawal mostly, for the reason that benzodiazepines inhibit or prevent neurological recovery from trauma, from what i understand. Is it possible that my body and mind are still in a state of survival even two years out from antidepressant and benzos? I understand that the psychological trauma from years of being medicated may also play a key factor in trust and developing relationships, but that is a psychological piece that should resolve itself through counseling, CBT, once the body begins to function correctly again. My other theory is that all my exposure to drugs over the years, (especially in the context of intermittent antipsychotic and benzodiazipine exposure) has caused irreversible atrophy to the neurological circuitry that is responsible for those functions (pre-frontal cortex and frontal lobe?) I'm looking for any input, resources, or suggestions that might help with those pieces Thanks, - NR EDIT: I don't have any recreational drug exposure either, all my drug exposure has been exclusively psychiatric with the exception of alcohol on a few celebratory occasions. I have also had antibiotic exposures on three separate occasions in the past five years.
  25. Hi All, A bit of history here. I've been on Paxil for around 15 years, maybe longer, but basically I've lost a lot of the feelings I've had for my GF and I realize it's most likely a drug induced issue. Per my signature, I've been tapering since Oct 2013 and am just below the 4 mg mark. Question is, I don't feel it is fair to neither of us that I feel this way and wondering if I should prolong the relationship? I know marriages/relationships have been destroyed by these drugs and I don't want to hurt anyone including myself. I still have some feelings for her although not as strong as before. Mind you, I've been with her for about a year now and at that time I was around 6.2mg of paxil a day. I do exhibit the typical symptoms of lack of libido, emotions, wanting to be by myself etc. Any input is appreciated. Thank you
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