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  1. MOD NOTE: contains content which may be triggering for some members Hi, I have been "stalking" this website for a while now, I saw a couple stories that were a lot like mine. I never knew how much harm these darn medications could do, moreover, I was so glad I found that I was not alone in this. I felt like crying tears of relief when I found this community. Im not sure where to start so I will just give a basic "run-down" of my history; I came from an abusive background. My father abused me when I was younger, and my neighbor "took advantage" of me when I was 8, repeatedly. Im thankful I am not in that situation anymore, but those experiences did leave me with some "battle scars." I was diagnosed in early 2014 as having OCD, Anxiety, Depression, Panic Disorder, PTSD, and ADD. I knew I had some things from childhood, like the OCD, Depression, Anxiety and of course the ADD (That one is a bit hard to miss) But I was so shocked to find what had happened to me did give me PTSD. It was such a shock. I was hospitalized in late 2014 for a suicide attempt and that was my first introduction into the Antidepressants. To be honest they never really helped me. I was put on Prozac, not sure the dose, but I quit cold turkey after 3 maybe 4 weeks on it now that I think back to it. No side effects. No nothing. Then I was prescribed with several things back to back, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Effexor, I would only take 1 or 2 pills before not taking them anymore as I just felt the medication just masked the problem without actually fixing it. The only one that really did help a bit was Effexor but I got so jittery it was ridiculous I stopped after 2 days of use. again, no side effects, I was blessed. I was given Xanax for my panic attacks, i took it sparingly. Then I was given medication for my ADD, I thought "why not" and gave it a try since I was having trouble focusing especially in the workplace. I was given focalin. It completely destroyed me. I had a OCD flare up like no other. I ended up hospitalized from early May to late July/ Early August. It was a nightmare even though it did make me perform better, it was OCD hell. I recovered in a few days and was put on Paxil. 40 mg. and Trazadone for sleep which was switched with another type of sleep medication. I would take a combination of Trazadone and a cocktail of other sleep medications on and off. The doctor never warned me of the side effects of these stupid medications. I started having Nervous sweats, shaking which I believe to be called "akathesia", hypersensitivity, more panic attacks, PTSD episodes, OCD episodes. and weird sensations in my private parts that from what I have been reading, is called "PGAD" , horrible insomnia, sensations that are not there, so severe somatization, tinnitus that comes and goes, depersonalization, less able to focus, and an increase in paranoia. I ended up worse than when I started with this mess.. I have been though enough. Since I have been stalking this website I have been following a few stories that were a lot like mine and trying to mimic them in their withdrawal. I went from 40mg of Paxil to 21 mg. Probably too fast. I have been following Hopefull, ASkyFullOfHappy, MamaP, Gentle Steps, Petunia, MollyN especially since some of their stories really mirror mine in one way or another. Im sorry for stalking ya'll, I am actually very embarrassed, but I was recently given the courage to make my own account since I feel like I still don't know what I am doing sometimes, and honestly my symptoms, although they have improved a slight bit, they are not where I need them to be. I hope with some guidance I can get on the right track here, and maybe help a couple people out as well.
  2. Touchtheclouds87

    Touchtheclouds87 off Paxil

    I was on Paxil for 6 years. The doctor took me from 40mg to 0mg in 8 weeks. I had to get off it because I was so depressed about sexual dysfuntion. Had a psychotic episode followed by the most horrendous depression and acute anxiety. Had to go back on paxil for a year. Then switched to lithium then switched to lamotrigine. I came off paxil the second time over a 6 month period and it was OK. No major withdrawal issues. It's just like everybody says come of the meds slowly and it will be OK.
  3. I can't remember ever being happy. I never felt like I fit in and relationships were hard to foster. I felt like an outcast, drawing on my musical and visual influences to drive home that point. Listening to Blind Melon I had my first suicide attempt. After that in 2008 I was put on 20mg of Prozac (medicine is right but dose could have been a little higher, it was a long time ago). From there I stayed on Prozac until 2010 and stayed medication free until my anxiety became so crippling that I couldn't walk in a gym around acquaintances in 2012. Then, I was put on Bupropion which was a huge failure and then Paxil, which I stuck with Until 2014 before it's effects dwindled. During that time my depression became unbearable and I couldn't be by myself without crying. I had to leave school my senior year for 3 months and reset everything, return to therapy and look for a new medication. Eventually mid-way through my freshman year of college at the I was given cymbalta at the end of 2014. i thought I finally found it. While there was ups and downs the cymbalta helped tremendously, I almost went off pills completely near the end of 2016, and then extra stresses forced me to try extra Wellbutrin with a cymbalta dose increase. This was a disaster and caused a breakdown and second suicide attempt which landed me in the hospital. The doctor switched me to 75 mg Effexor and it did ok for awhile but my anxiety was through the roof. After two months it was too much and my doc added 300mg gabapentin 3x a day. This is kind of worked for a month and a half before I started to lose my energy, have the racing beating down thoughts and the loss of interest again. Last month the doc tried upping my Effexor to 100 with disasterous results. Now I feel stuck. Its not normal to wake up with no energy and a loss of interest in anything. Have i I been on pills too long? Do I need to take SSRIs or Tricyclate? Tricyclate deal with atypical depression, which fits well due to my inconsistent mood and spiraling ups and downs. Im not bi polar, but one doc said I have characteristics of personality disorder, which would explain the "high" highs and "low" lows. I just need help. Im a semester away from graduating and I don't want to take a pause right before the finish line. I'm a leader in most of my major studies clubs and a well-liked person on campus living in one of the most popular houses at school. Why am I so sad? I just need advice. Get on new pills, get off pills, what pills worked well temporarily. At this point, I just want to get by. Please help me.
  4. MollyN

    MollyN

    Hi everyone, I'm extremely glad to find this group. I burst into tears when I found it. Most of my antidepressant journey is in my signature, but my greatest fears are these: Honestly as I withdraw I become the meanest most vicious woman you've ever met. I am mentally all over the place and filled with bitterness and hate. I'm so embarrassed, I was never like this prior to the drugs. I worry that is who I actually am now?! My husband just wants me to keep on taking them
  5. Hello, I came across this forum while trying to figure out the best way to taper generic Luvox. I've been taking it since January 1, 2017 and hit my maximum dose of 50 MG around February 1st. Here is my long history with psych meds: I started having bad panic attacks by age 15. I developed agoraphobia, and eventually had to leave high school and be home schooled. Then I started having severe OCD as well. I started generic Paxil 20 mg at age 19 (1994) with the only side effect being insomnia for around a month. It didn't do anything for me, but I had undiagnosed Crohn's Disease at the time, so I probably wasn't absorbing it very well. After getting a decent doctor and being diagnosed with Crohn's and treated for it, the panic, anxiety, and OCD subsided (this was 1996). My GI doctor said it was fine to quit taking Paxil, so I did (cold turkey). I didn't have any noticeable withdrawal symptoms. My anxiety and panic returned roughly around 1998. This is probably when I went back to Paxil (long time ago, so I'm a little fuzzy on the dates). This time I had a lot of increased anxiety and nausea when starting at 20 MG, so I started lower and worked my way up to 20. I was also prescribed Xanax (don't remember the dosage) a little later. My doctor retired, and the new doctor switch Xanax to Ativan (I think it was .5 MG three times a day) and added Buspar. At some point I quit taking Buspar because I felt it wasn't doing anything. I don't remember the date, but it was probably prior to 2000. I don't recall having any withdrawal from it. In 2002, I got another new doctor. I was doing pretty well, but she thought I would do even better if I increased my Paxil to 40 MG. After around a month, she decided a change to 150 MG Effexor XR would be better. I had a very fast cross taper off Paxil and onto Effexor, but luckily had no symptoms. Another new doctor in 2003! This one took me off Ativan and added Vistaril. I don't recall having any withdrawal problems from the Ativan, but it was a fast taper. Vistaril did nothing for me so I stopped it within a couple of months. The next new doctor that wanted to make changed wasn't until around 2010. I was doing okay, but she upped my Effexor to 187.5 MG to see if I would be even better. Eventually insurance quit paying for brand name Effexor, and my body was not digesting the generic tablets, so I was switched back to 40 MG of Paxil around 2011 or so. Once again, I was lucky and had no symptoms despite the quick cross taper. Eventually my doctor upped the Paxil to 60 MG. And another new doctor (they don't stick around long in the clinic I go to) in 2012! Even though I was doing okay, she thought I would do even better on Prozac. She had me cross taper from 60MG of Paxil to Prozac (don't remember dose, maybe 40 mg) in a single month. I was actually okay that month, but month 2 was hell. By the end of the month, I had enough and restarted the Paxil at 10-15 MG. I instantly felt better, and called my doctor to inform her I was switching back to Paxil. She gave me a bunch of crap about "seratonin syndrome" but since she wasn't worried about it during my original cross taper, I wasn't worried about it while crossing back. I was back to 20 MG of Paxil and off Prozac within a month, and felt back to normal. One good thing that came out of this was that I discovered that 20 MG of Paxil worked just as well as 60 MG. The doctor tried to get me to switch to Zoloft, but after the Prozaz disaster, I said no way. I was curious about how I was doing so well with 20 MG (after previously being on 60 MG), so I secretly started cutting back. I got down to 10 MG within a few months, was satisfied, and stayed there until 2016. New doctor time! This one has a real love for Zoloft and Luvox. He pressured me for months to switch to one of those. When I refused, he upped my Paxil to 40 MG (or so he thought, I actually remained on 10MG) He also prescribed Prazosin, which I only took for a month or 2 before I stopped due to side effects. When I stopped Prazosin, he wanted me to take Vistaril and some sort of beta blocker, but I refused those as well. At this time I also started reducing my Paxil. I took 7.5 MG for several months. Then I went to 6 MG for a month, then 5 MG for a month. Anxiety and panic symptoms started to to return, so I stopped reducing. After a particularly bad couple of weeks (lots of panic attacks at night to where I was afraid to go to bed) I finally caved and agreed to generic Luvox. I started the cross taper from Paxil to Luvox on January 1st. My doctor wants me on (and thinks I'm taking) 300 MG of Luvox. I never got that high. I tapered up to 50 MG of Luvox by February 1st. I tapered off of Paxil by March 1st. Since I started this cross taper, I've had worse anxiety and panic attacks, headaches everyday, light sensitivity, memory problems, and loss of interest in things I liked to do in the past. My doctor prescribed generic Ativan, which I used pretty sparingly at first, but now I'm taking .5 MG each night just so I don't wake up in a panic every half hour. Time to get off this Luvox! I restarted the Paxil at 2 MG on Friday (I made my own liquid version from a 40 MG tablet) since some of my problems might be due to not doing a proper taper (which I only discovered when I found this site). I also made a liquid version of the Luvox and am taking a dose of 22.5 MG (4.5 mL by mixing a 50 MG tablet with 10 mL of water) twice a day (45 MG total). So if you're still here after this lengthy post, how fast can I reduce the Luvox? Should I follow the 10% rule even though I've only been on the drug for 3 months? I hate to think that I'll be reducing this junk for months and dealing with headaches everyday. As for the Paxil and Ativan, I'll deal with them after I get the Luvox out of my system. Thank you for this great site!
  6. I am a 44 year old woman and have been on 10mg of Paroxetine (Paxil) for 8 years and in February this year decided to slowly start weaning off. I dropped to 7.5mg one day a week for a month and once I had got to 7.5 mg 7 days a week I started to drop to 5mg one day a week for a month. I am now on 5mg Monday to Thursday and still on 7.5mg Friday to Sunday. I was absolutely fine until two weeks ago when I started having a crawling feeling on the bridge of my nose and between my eyebrows. Then two days later I woke up with pins and needles in all my toes which eventually spread to under my feet. My toes also most always feel cold. I have also started with pins and needles in my left fingers and hand. I went in to see the doctor when this started and explained to her that I was weaning off Paxil but she didn't say anything about it. She did all the blood tests necessary which all came back normal. I called her again this week to say that I am really worried and she said she will put me in the system to see a neurologist in a couple of months. I am absolutely beside myself and have made an appointment to see a private Neurologist in January which will be costly as I am not on a medical insurance. I just wondered if anyone else may have these withdrawal symptoms from tapering off Paxil? I have the pins and needles constantly under my feet although the tingles on my face come and go during the day. I feel fine within myself but I am obviously very anxious because of the physical symptoms.
  7. bagzi

    bagzi: my intro

    Hello, My name is Igor, 39 yo, living in Serbia. I first started taking ADs in 2014 after period of exhaustion in my life, and parallel conversion to Christianity. I had a GF in that period who was an alcoholic and bulimic, which i did not know at first.. In my inability to handle the situation, i started to sink deeper and deeper into myself, and i started to turn to God for solution of my problems. Due to all the exhaustion, in dec 2014 i had my firste panic attack, which i first thought was a hearth attack. I did all the checks and i was generally ok. A friend of mine figured out what could be the problem, so he took me to a psychiatrist, which prescribed me with 20mg Seroxat and im not sure what amount of Rivotril. I refused to take any of the drugs for some 5 months, but situation got worse. I was absent from work all this time, and finally i think in May i started taking Seroxat. Did not take Rivotril due to a warning from my friend that it can create an addiction. In period of 5 months before taking drugs i was in pretty bad shape, got down some 10kg in weight, which was not that bad actually, but i had severe nervousness, anger issues, tremor of the left side of the body and difficulty to sleep. Also, very vivid dreams, like visions, where it seemed like i really participate in these awkward situations. I agreed to start the drugs partly because family was scared the hell out of what is going on with me, but partly i was exhausted from the new situation that i found myself in. So, i took the drugs for precisely a year, because doc said it is some usual period. After 8-9 months i got it down to 10mg, and i took that for some 2 months, and then i got maybe a month 5mg and after that i got off. I managed to function in society for some 2 months after i got completely off, but then i just had no energy to continue. But, i decided that im gona fight as long as i can. So, i quit my job, and went into solitude in my app. living alone. It was a very rough period, but then again i had so much revelation about life in that app that in a way i am greatfull for it. I was there so noone can look at me, i was looking pretty bad again. Went out only briefly and to the store once in a few days. But again, in Oct last year (2015) i reached the point that i just could not go on like that anymore. So i got back on meds, i figured Seroxat was working so i got back on that same drug. Again, i was taking 20mg for some 7 months, than reduced to 10mg twhich i took for 4 months, and recently in Sept i reduced to 5mg which is the dose i take now for some 2 months. Its not easy with this small dose, but i notice its getting better. It was a bit rough when i cut it down, but now i figure its ok. I dont have a plan how long i am going to take this dose, but my final goal is to get off completely. Not sure when or how. I got a job now again, and its a bit easier than in previous job. I feel really good that i had the strength to do this job switch. I feel like i have done something for myself, and although im not off the drugs completely i feel i am making a progress. Bad thing about these drugs is that they numb you, you dont get to feel your emotions. They kinda disconnect you from yourself. That is mostly why i want to get off them eventually. It is not like for example a drug you take for the hearth issue, or something in that nature, like blood pressure. You feel they are affecting your thinking, feelings and behavior. On the other hand, when i look at period before i had this first attack, that was also not life. It was mostly mechanical life where i did not question if i like to do something or not, what do i really want to do and what not. This experience was actually something like eye opening, where you realize what life actually is, where you stand right now and where you would like to go, and how much effort it would take to get there, A lot of information all of a sudden, lot of unknown and lot of unanswered question. So, i guess no wonder panic starts to overflow you. I can honestly say, that toughest period that i had these past few years was the most productive period in my life. Although i spent it mostly alone in a room meditating. So anyway, that is my short (or not so short) story. I am happy i found this place and hope to learn from all of you. Igor
  8. AlanHarper

    AlanHarper: need help

    I am new here, although I did try to start an account awhile back. I am sure there is much on Paxil withdrawal. I cam off of 2mg of klonopin and still am on paxil which I wish to discontinue. I am using Alan Harper as pseudonym. Is there someone out there who is willing to help me in my desire to stop using paroxetin 20mg.? Thanks.
  9. Hi. So my story with SSRIs goes like this: About 5 years ago I started Paxil (12.5 CR mg) I took this successfully (helped me sleep which was great!) for about a year. Then quit faster than I should have, but was able to get off of it for a year while I was pregnant. I did have a bad withdrawal, but it was probably only 2-4 weeks. And only severe for 2. After my son was born I developed insomnia and postpartum depression. I was absolutely miserable. So my doctor prescribed Zoloft. It really helped the depression, but after 3-6 months I found my anxiety increased and insomnia came back. So... back to Paxil I went. 10 mg. Since I was realizing how much I hated the sexual side effects, I soon started taking it sparingly (every other day), after about a year? The past 2 years I have been on it, but I have tried to taper off, only taking it when I noticed my mood swing - every 2-4 days. I even got down to 5mg at this rate for a few months. Thought that I was pretty much off of it at this point. Again, the insomnia came back (about 6 months ago) So I tried xanax to help. Didn't like taking that every night, so used sporadically. I was prescribed Trazodone to help me sleep in mid-Novemver. Again, took it every other night at half dose (25 mg). It helped me sleep. Then I started getting dizzy - but also quit Paxil in early December. I took Trazedone at 25 mg for 7-10 days straight and when I just got dizzier during the day I quit. Cold turkey. But I had been taking it for such a short time I didn't think it would be an issue? And I don't know if it was or if the Paxil withdrawal. Hard to know what did what. I then stupidly took 5HTP (100mg) for two days last week. But then I decided to stop any seratonin anything. I have an appointment with a psychiatric nurse for the first time every tomorrow. I don't know what to do. The first couple weeks I had the more classic paxil withdrawal symptoms. This last couple weeks have been an entirely different animal. Panic attacks like I've never experienced before. Insomnia again. I feel like i've been on a roller coaster of every symptom. Depersonalization, shaking, nausea, vertigo, vision problems, tight chest, breathing issues. Ups and downs like crazy. Last night I got NO sleep. the last 3 days my doctor told me to take 25 mg xanax 3x daily to help with the symptoms. The last couple days it helped with the panic but today I"m just so sleep deprived I can't think straight. and I feel the anxiety has taken on a darker depressive tone. I feel hopeless. and I am scared and I don't know what to do. I don't know what the psych will tell me tomorrow or what I should do. Should I get back on an SSRI to taper back? Or try to pull through and just get medication to sleep? Everything goes to hell when I have bad bouts of insomnia. Otherwise I feel the anxiety I had pre-medication was not that bad. HELP!
  10. Hi, I am new here. I've been reading your website for some time and I've learned a lot. I was on paroxetine three times within 12 years (each time from 10 months to two years) because of anxiety. I was on 20 mg and it always worked very well. I went off paroxetine because I put really a lot of weight on. I thought I was very reasonable to give myself almost three months to go completely off (instead of 2-3 weeks as the doctor suggested). After 2 months I "crashed". Acute anxiety hit me so hard I couldn't leave my bed. I went back to my psychiatrist. He prescribed Zoloft (no weight gain effect) but suggested to wait and see whether it would improve. It did. I didn't take Zoloft. I started therapy. And I also entered windows and waves pattern. I had no idea it was WD related. After six months and another crash (acute anxiety, inability to function normally) I was prescribed Zoloft again and this time I took it. Within 6 months I went up to the maximum dose. It didn't work. Still windows and waves. Then I was put on Effexor. I was on it only for a month because it effected my blood pressure. The doctor suggested increasing both Effexor and BP drug but instead I went off it within a week. I was feeling bad anyway and the withdrawal from Effexor didn't make much change. I've been off any AD since May (over six months now). There have been no days without anxiety. Morning cortisol spikes are awful. Sometimes windows make me believe it's going to be ok. I am really working hard: CBT, Zumba class, I eat well, read a lot, mindfulness (although I am not very good at it). Since I've been off Paxil I lost 16 kg (acute anxiety helped here). But waves like the one I am going through now leave me excluded from life. Anxiety is unbearable. I cannot live normal life, I cannot eat. I decided I cannot go on like this. I made an appointment to see my doctor this Friday and I desperately need advice. I'll be honest with you. If it wasn't for this weight gain (on Paxil I went from being overweight to being obese) I wouldn't think twice. I am scared of trying anything new risking it would not work. I am also scared of going back to Paxil because of all I have read here and what I read about no chance of being on Paxil and not putting on a lot of weight. But I cannot go on like this. I am so tired and so scared. I desperately need your advice. I apologize for my English.
  11. Hi, my name is Mindy and I'm new to this forum. I've been on 40 mg of Paroxetine (generic paxil) for approximately two years and Alprazolam (generic zanax) for over 20 years. I would like to wean myself off of the Alprazolam and paxil. I've ran out of my paroxetine before and omg the withdrawal symptoms after just one day are a nightmare. I hope to gain advice and support here. Thank you. Mindy (By the way I am a 45 year old female)
  12. I am telling my story because if it wasn’t for reading the blogs of everyone out there suffering from the toxic effects of some of the psychotropic drugs & the subsequent “withdrawal” symptoms, I may not be here today to write this. Four years ago, I was prescribed Paxil for an off-label use. I was having symptoms which I have found out recently, can be attributed to Restless Leg Syndrome. Several months later, I became depressed (no prior history of depression) and irritable. It got worse each dose increase of Paxil. A psychiatrist realized I was having a “reverse effect” from Paxil began tapering in January 2016. I was immediately put on Abilify to help with the toxic side effects from the Paxil and also on Trazodone to help with sleep. Finally, I took my last Paxil in March 2017 and suffered through 3-months of withdrawal symptoms; crying spells and depression being the worst symptoms. I recovered and then started tapering off Abilify. Abilify caused undesirable side effects with a 20-lb. weight gain and extreme lethargy being the most bothersome. Little did I know what I was in for. I stopped Abilify at the end of August and started withdrawal symptoms 10-day later; crying spells, waking in the middle of the night feeling totally terrified and suicidal, tremors in my hands and legs, chills & hot flashes during the day, nauseous at times, loss of appetite and severe headaches. My symptoms were so frightening that my husband has kept vigil over me day and night. I haven’t driven my car or gone anywhere with out him in the past 4 months. In November I started tapering off Trazodone, because it became ineffective for sleep and was causing urinary frequency. Also, the headaches became even worse and more debilitating; OTC meds don’t help. They did a MRI of my brain and it was negative. The neurologist determined that there was no neurological cause. The early morning crying spells & headaches continue into December. I don’t know if the persistent headaches are caused by lingering withdrawal symptoms of discontinuing Abilify or tapering of Trazodone, or both. My husband called and wrote a letter last week to the Mayo Clinic to see if they can help. No answer yet as to whether they have the resources to help me get through these withdrawals. The last few days have been hopeful, the headaches seem less severe and the crying spells are less often, but I am praying that the next taper in Trazodone doesn’t cause a return of these symptoms. I feel like I have been through the worst days of my life, but I am resolved to fighting this horrible battle. It is my hope that this blog might help someone out there. Reading others’ stories has helped me immensely. Just knowing I am not alone has been a lifesaver.
  13. sungirl

    sungirl: Intro

    Hi, Not really sure what this is supposed to look like, but here goes. Began Wellbutrin and Paxil (don't remember doses) fall 2004 after major anxiety over a move. (I've experienced depression and anxiety since childhood.) I successfully tapered and remained off the Wellbutrin, but 3 months after Paxil taper experienced huge crash and reinstated. This happened the same way the second time I tapered. Both times the anxiety was way worse than any I had ever experienced and I knew it had something to do with withdrawal but my doctors did not believe me. I have been on 20mg/day. A year and a half ago I decided to try to taper again. Was originally tapering by 5mg at a time and got to 10 but was having difficulty. I found some helpful articles by Dr. Stuart Shipko and contacted him. Following his advice, and with my doctor's support, I went back to 10 and have been tapering by 1mg/month. I was down to 5mg when we went through some major life traumas. Still felt fine until tapered to 4.5, went back to 5, but started experiencing symptoms without realizing what it was (felt like my heart was pounding a lot/felt wired but did not feel anxious) Symptoms gradually have gotten worse and worse. Started to updose by 2 mg, 2 nights ago. Hoping I can stabilize, I feel terrible right now and don't want to live like this! Honestly not sure if I will complete the taper or not at this point I just want to stabilize.
  14. Hello everyone. I'm Greg and have been a Paxil user since December of 1997. My "Paxil" taper was making "progress" on another forum that was shut down, and of course I won't mention the name of that forum. Anyway, I started having panic attacks back in '94 and was prescribed Prozac initially, which only drove my panic and anxiety through the roof. I was then given Xanax to counteract the anxiety. I finally CT'd the Prozac after several months after telling my pdoc that I thought it was making me worse. I then went on a TCA, Imipramine, for a year or so. It maybe helped a bit but gave me headaches and severe constipation. I discontinued it too and then just got by on occasional Xanax. In December of 1997, having run out of Xanax and having severe panic and anxiety again I sought out another pdoc who put me on 30mg Paxil. This did the trick and my panic attacks subsided but would still flare up on occasion. I was down to needing a Xanax maybe a few times a year and even went several years without any. My depression improved too, however I still had depressive episodes that would last for several days on occasion. I also gained over 125 pounds during my 18 years of use. Then in February of 2013 my anxiety and panic seemed to come out of nowhere and took over my entire sense of self. I called of off work for a week and was terrified as I went in and out of deep depersonalization. My pdoc then raised my Paxil to 40mg and of course I started hitting the Xanax heavily. Wellbutrin was added to the mix. This raised my mood a bit but it also raised the anxiety. I even went to the ER one afternoon when my BP went over 200. The Wellbutrin was stopped after a month or so. I then lived from Xanax to Xanax for several months. After discovering a website that dedicated itself to making progress for Paxil users I realized that the updose may not have helped me. Thanks to Brassmonkey Tom, I had the courage to reduce my Paxil dose. Between November and May, I worked my way down from 40mg to below my 30mg long-term dose. I also weaned myself from the 1mg of daily Xanax I was taking. Finally this past summer the constant anxiety let its grasp go and I am starting to feel like myself again. I'm currently down to 25.5mg on my Paxil. I'm taking my taper nice and slow and generally reduce around 1.5% every 3 weeks. I still get some waves of anxiety but I'm still able to function. I've also been seeing a counselor since February of 2013, which has helped immensely. I've learned several tricks to combat anxiety and panic as well as address issues in my life that cause it. My goal isn't necessarily to get off of Paxil, but I'd like to greatly reduce my dose and then take it from there.
  15. I came across this. It is wonderful. http://psychrights.org/articles/newdrugsnewproblems.htm
  16. Hi everyone, I'm Mark, living in Marseille, south east of France, I'm 36 yo. I began Paxil (Deroxat in France), in 1999, given for a "IBS" (irritative bowel syndrom)... 20mg a day (1999-2014). 2010-2014 were the best years of my life, friends, family, job, music, soccer, etc etc... Mid-2014 I decided by myself to reduce Paxil. So, I started to take 20mg a day, then 10mg next day, then 20, then 10 ... End 2014, jav/fev 2015, I took 10, 5, 10, 5.. then 5mg... 2 weeks after being at 5 mg / day, my life turned to hell. Many symptoms occured weeks after weeks : Nausea, dizziness, lightheadness, belly ache, loss of appetite, tinnitus, electric schocks when moving eyes... Then i thought about my paxil reduction... I re-start 10mg in 2015, then 20mg since january 2016, but my symptoms are still here... Now, I just wanna die with those awful nausea all day, dizziness etc... Sometimes I have 1, 2, 3 days where symptoms seem to reduce, then they retstart awfully... In 2015 I had all medical examination to exclude other problem : Colonoscopie, Pillcam (for small intestine), Ultrasound, 2 Belly MRI, 2 head MRI, tons of blood analysis, eyes tests, inner ears tests, etc, etc... Nothing found... I saw more than 20 doctors in 18 month (gastro, neuro, diagnosticians, ENT, opthalmo, psychiatrists...). None want to listen me, and all say that's not a problem with my paxil, because Withdrawal least no more than few weeks... I'm here, to claim for help. i really need somebody who understands me, who well knows withdrawal problems, etc... I don't understand why I don't feel better since I have re-taken 20 mg... Sorry for my bad english.
  17. Hello all, I believe I am withdrawing from Paxil, Clonazepam or both. I thought I was over with the Paxil withdrawal, and started decreasing my Clonazepam. Lately I can't go for quiet walk without anger and bad memories driving me to quit. I have nightmares, am irritable, angry..I feel like I can't be around anyone. The Paxil quickly lost its effectiveness in treating my depression. I tried to get off of Clonazepam and Paxil years ago, but was having waves of repeating panic attacks. 24/7. At the time I was on 60 mg of Paxil and 3 mg of Clonazepam. Before I was on these drugs, I had anxiety issues, but only 1 full on panic attack. The drugs have made me so much worse. I resumed the medication as quickly as I could. Currently, I thought I was able to get rid of the Paxil, I seemed to be fine. I had to come off of 30 mg, rather than the previous 60. The weaning off period lasted a few months. I don't think reducing the clonazepam is the problem, because taking the full dose doesn't help. I am wondering if I am still having a residual withdrawal issue from the Paxil. I really don't like what it happening to me, and I'm really afraid I won't be able to recover.
  18. 40jack

    40jack: Hello

    Hi I'm new to this site. I joined basically because I want to get off my seroxat so I came here for some support. I've been on seroxat since 1994 and although I have been off meds in the past this last stint which is seven years is proving the most difficult to date.
  19. Trisha2

    Trisha2: Paxil

    Hello,I have been on paxil for years. I don't see it is helping me. My dr. Is always saying you don't need to change. I have winged myself off but need something new. Anyone changed from paxil and had luck. Thanks!!
  20. I'm new here, never written a post before although I often refer to various websites for assistance, SA looks like a great resource centre. I had a breakdown 2 years ago which caused a number of issues, from Sleep apnea (I'm not obese), bad joint pains, even more panic attacks. I can only handle 6 hours work a day, from working round the clock for many years. Started tapering in March as fed up with foggy brain and having to take 2 hour naps to escape my mind swirling out of control. Estimated plan is 20 months to taper off completely. I have spreadsheets with dates and i am using a daily journal to track my feelings rated 5 - 0 (5 being off the chart and 0 being ok'ish and thinking clearly) Motivation to get up and go for a walk is a big deal, but slowly making progress. I know the benefits but easier said than done. I learned 2 years ago to walk away when stress became too high, at which point I sleep. My wife and family are very supportive and understand the pressure I'm under trying to run a business. I hope this is the correct forum to introduce myself, and look forward to any advise / feedback.
  21. Hi everyone, I'm new here. Im 19, hoping to one day become a doctor, but right now that seems impossible. I have always been very bad with medicine, i forget to take them, or i just don't care enough to take them. In my junior year of high-school 2015, I had a suicide attempt which put me 2 weeks in the hospital and on prozac, I don't remember the dose. I stopped taking it cold turkey after one week it made me feel fake happy, I felt like I was faking everything. Then I finally got myself a good psychologist, and a " meh" psychiatrist which led me down a road of several antidepressants, , most of the time I just took the medicine for 2 days to a week, and then stopped cold turkey. I would fake symptoms and tell my psychiatrist I was doing fine on them when in reality I was not taking any of them. I did his with Cymbalta, Effexor, and Douloxetine, I think thats what its called. Then I was put on pristiq, again, it made me fake happy, so I stopped after a month, I never had bad side effects from quitting, just starting them was what made me have all sorts of shaking and vomiting etc. This summer, I had another breakdown, turns out I have OCD, well i was put on Paxil, surprisingly I had no side effects coming into it. It was great I was feeling better. I took it for a week and a half or maybe 2 and then i started forgetting to take it. After a week or so of not taking it I started to feel aroused all the time. like the slightest touch or sexual thing would make me want to "have some fun" with myself. It was weird. I felt very odd about it because for like the past month I had been anything but sexual, I was actually very afraid of sex. and the medication had made me numb down there. Then i started getting tingles in my lady parts, they felt inside me, and I was also peeing a lot which made the tingles kinda hurt. So I took a UTI test..... I have a UTI.... but I would get weird throbbing and tingling inside me as well, and in my lower back and in my anus, it was very odd. I searched up what it could be and PGAD came up, I read all the suicide stories and people that had it for years with no relief I was so worried I would soon start having uncontrollable orgasms. I began to check and hyperfocus on my lady parts. I started taking Paxil again, 4 days later it was gone but I was left so worried it would come back, i became hyper aware of my lady bits. for 3 days I was okay.... then i started feeling aroused, I was scared, i didn't know whether it was PGAD or me being me. I cant orgasm at all. then some tingling by my clitoris after I peed sometimes. sometimes its slight twinges inside me, or feeling "stimulated" when i cross my legs even loud noises make me twinge down there....Its not as bad as when I was "withdrawing" but still Im so scared it will come back one day. Anyway . Im stuck. Do I get off the meds? what if the PGAD comes back? I really don't know what to do. Im starting university again in a week and Im so scared.
  22. Cheers, everyone First – english is not my native language, so forgive me, if it's a bit clumsy. Second – this story may be long. I feel like sharing, yet I'll try to make it short. Everything began 11 years ago, when – after a great deal of trauma – I was diagnosed with obssesive compulsion disorder. Diagnosis itself felt wright – my fears, obssesions and rituals were getting stronger every day. Soon, I was beginning to lost it. Psychiatrist prescripted SSRI meds – sertraline, to be specific. It was pain. I reached the dose of 120 mg a day, as she ordered – I wasn't sleeping whole nights, wasn't eating almost anything (but still got fat) and my feelings and emotions were lost completely – what was left of me was a complete cyborg. Inabillity to sleep and eat made me going mad, my shrink, however, didn't see any problem. After a half a year, I showed her my middle finger and cease the treatment. I felt great for about a year – then obssesion came back, stronger than ever. This time, a proffesor psychiatrist came with paroxetine. Let me make this clear – paroxetine did help me. My obssesions were gone. I became calm, reasonable, able to deal with emotions like grief or anger quickly. In time, however, I grew more and more disturbed about the therapy. I mean – what about my personality? Which part of that is artificial? What kind of person would I be without drugs? Why other people mostly seem a bother to me and why I lost any kind of interest in any kind of love life? Why I'm getting more and more surly and bitter? My proffesor answers were another drugs only, to which I refused. This year, when six years of paroxetine were coming to pass, I withdraw it. I thought reducing the dose slowly will do. At first, I felt better. Everything was so vivid, so lively; I was becoming nicer to people. All this didin't last long, though. At first, I became nervous. Everything started to seem difficult, I felt like I had to much to attend to. That deepend into depression so deep, I quickly started to think about suicide, which eventually made me to come back to my treatment. This time, side effects decided to say hi. Afer two days on one pill, I suddenly started to run around house in cricle with suicide thoughts so intense, it was like someone grabbed me, shaking my arms and screaming „Do it! Do it! Do it!” I almost tried. I made it through next few days on benzodiazepine. Then, paroxetine kicked in without any more events. I've put myself together, yet I was confused – I mean, what the hell happened? I've never had such depression, where did it come from? My main problem were obssesions. I started to wonder – what if paroxetine actually did all this and now I'm allowing fox to guard henhouse? My decision to have a closer look on this brought me to book „Deadly Medicine and Organised Denial” by prof. Peter Gøtzsche (to those who haven't read it already – it's a book everyone should read). I read that paroxetine – and other SSRI meds – actually cause depression which shows up in the withdrawal syndrome due to disrupting brain biochemistry and that withdrawing after more than few weeks of treatment can be very hard. Sudden suicide thoughts, according to this book, are quite popular side effects of paroxetine syndrome. So many people, I was thinking. So many people did commit suicide, many of them slaughtered their families first. I was furious and quite dispaired, feeling like I'm gonna claw my doctor's eyes out. Who the hell allowed this **** to be on market? Why my god damn shrink is keeping my on this crap for years? I've felt like a freaking junkie. On the other hand though – after I calmed down – I've felt some kind of new strenght. Withdrawing became my top priority. I'm now aware what happened and what is next. I know it may be hard, but I'm not losing optimism, until I still have at least some part of my brain intact (and liver, and kidneys, et cetera...). Like I said, I got this site address from prof. Gøtzsche and here I am. On the next appointment, I'm gonna have a little chit-chat with my doctor. If he won't be willing to assist me on my way to withdrawal, I'll find a doctor who will. I've already reduced the dose from 40 to 30 mg and I'm aiming to reduce it more to 20 mg (this is by approval from my current doctor). And then... well. No matter how much time will it take, I'm gonna be free one day. (Anyone who thinks deserves beer after reading all this, leave me a note ).
  23. Hi, I have been on Paxil 20mg for three years in order to deal with Menstral migraines. I decided to quit the medicine, because of the side effects. I have no desire to be touched by my husband and have gained 40 pounds. I also feel like a zombie sometimes, I couldn't even cry when my father passed away. Unfortunately, I didn't do the research before deciding to taper of and cut my dose to 10mg 2 days ago. And I'm suffering, nausea, zaps, tired but can't sleep and what little rest I get is plagued by nightmares. Should I start over and taper by 10% or just stay where I am and finish by reducing slower?
  24. I have a question. I reinstated paxil months after a CT stop (see signature). It cured my tremor and I felt less anxious immediately like if I had taken a clozan (tranquilizer). Now, however, I have many waves of anxiety throughout. Is this proof that it’s not working or just part of the tapering process? I guess I don’t know what I’m supposed too feel. Why taking these pills and still being anxious?
  25. Hi all. I discovered this site after several seqrch in google, and lurked for a while. Here my story (summarized), and please forgive me grammar error because english is not my main language. I'm 25 yo male from Italy. I have taken various psych drugs and switched doctors with the only achievement of ruining the best years of my life. I was put on AD at the age of 11, because it seems i had sleep problems and was lethargic during the day, and my parents had this brilliant idea to contact a psychiatrist that gave me nopron. The problem didnt go away then he (or another one) gave me Zoloft. i remember very well when i went to the study and even all my elementary school friends name i also remember for few next week after i started taking zoloft i felt more energy and managed to stay awake during day. Then the hell began. My memory just got wrecked and i have this big black hole in my mind for the successive years. I only remember episodes of my life (mostly not very pleasant), and the suffering i experienced. I started having depression, anxiety, mood swings and more else, all things i had not pre-drugs. My parents also sent me to several psychiatrists everywhere in Italy, but things only got worse for me. I was told i was very smart by every teacher at the schools, but then i started to be so anxious to frequent school and meet others i started to stay home. Some episode of bullying at age of 12 also played an huge role in this. Eventually at superior schools i have lost 4 years because too many absences and they couldn't validate my attend even my ratings weren't so bad. Eventually i managed to give final exams (with 4 years of late) by myself without frequenting. Meanwhile my life had been a constant pain. Me and my parents then (i forgot to mention my mother has a life long hidtory of polipharmacy) came out with this idea of me staying with more people "like me" would help me "socializing". So i accepted to give a try. I entered by my own and i found to be prisone by one of these private structures wich are actually an asylum. i coulnd't wash myself alone, i was deprived of my belongings and documents, phone, and mind (i was drugged hard this time) , self esteem and every resemblance of humanity, after 1 month and half God suggested my parents it wasn't a great idea to keep me there. They weren't aware what was happening or how i was being treated, and all phone calls were under their survellaince, so i couln't full blame them, but still it was the most horrible experience of my life. Btw i then lost another 2 year, and then it was when i decided to give the school exams by myself (sorry, i'm messing up dates and events, my memory is really destroyed) But i have also decided to end with these poisons wich only made me an empty shell. Last doctor had given me lithium lamotrigine and paroxetine (here sold under the name of Sereupin). I fast tapered both lithium and lamotrigine, and i felt better without particular symptoms. Meanwhile i signed myself to University (this in 2015), in Biology related course of study. (with 4 years late) The year went very well for the first months, i tied with very nice people, and i gave 4-5 exams with max or almost rating. I was doing during paroxetine tapering starting. Then i fell because my anxiety became unbarable, and then this year i haven't come back to University. I have lost all my contacts with the only friends of my life, and my mother started to obsess me every day to go back to pills. But i know I CANT and WONT back to what have done me all of this. Because i was never truly myself under pills, my memory disappeared (i have now almost forgotten what i have studied last year) , mood swings, tremors, loss of interest toward life, cognitive problems. I just can't bear all of this anymore. I want to be myself and have a life. Still i have withdrawal issues. I have tapered for more than year now. I started at 20 mg paroxetine, now i'm at 4.x mg. I think i have did it too fast because it'l hase been almost 2 months now since last cut, and i'm having severe anhedonia/DP (not depression) , and it doesn't "stabilize". I don't leave home since 7 months or so. My father finally believed me that are these drugs wich ruined me (and my mother), and is helping me with all, but isn't a very pleasant situation. Since i have already lost this accademic year, and i think i can bear the symptoms, i already did another reduction starting from today. It's a 10 % cut (of 4.x mg). I just want all of this to end so i can resume my studies asap. I know i'm a bit impatient, but time is running away for me, and i can't lose it anymore. Also sorry for confused writing /typos, i'm in bed and not sleeping tonight Thank you all for support you give in this community
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