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  1. GoldenPhoenix

    GoldenPhoenix

    Hi, I'll try to keep this short so I don't bore people too much. I suffer from some serious depression. Was recently diagnosed as schizophrenic but as you seem to know psychiatrists are really crappy professionals so that's not what I have for sure (even my psychologist was very admired when he found I was diagnosed with this). My life has been pretty much a big pile of **** since my early teens (since I was 12). Fast forward to my days in college which I was hoping would make me better but ended up being a living hell that just made things worse, I started to contemplate that it was just better to give up, I was miserable for too long, I think the only thing that kept me from doing it was not to have access to an easy way to. Some more years, and finally at 33 I unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide, after being two days unconscious after an overdose of pills inside my car parked in a hidden place, I was finally found by my mother (police couldn't find me and did an awful job) and brought to the hospital. Luckily the damages weren't too big, the fingers on my left hand were seriously damaged (I'll never be a surgeon or a guitar player), I almost lost one of my fingers do to extreme heat and also lost some hair but through an expensive surgery managed to recover most of it. My biggest dream is to be in a solid relationship with a woman that I love and that loves me back, create a wonderful future together, grow together and mutually help each other to live fulfilling lifes, probably have a family, and if I ever recover give back to others who may suffer from a similar situation. I've never had a girlfriend, nor have I even ever kissed a woman (without having to pay for it). Unfortunately the woman that I love is married, I found this out after 1 year of knowing her. She seems sometimes interested in me but other times I'm just invisible to her. when those times happen I just feel like it would be better if no one had found me in that car so I would finally be released of this nightmare. After the suicide attempt, that unfortunately she ended up knowing (she works at the hospital), her relationship with me has been seriously damaged (not that it was that great before).. I guess she got scared because she knows I love her. I've tried meeting other girls but it seems like there aren't any interesting, available woman. here, in this hellhole. Nothing really seems to make me happy apart from the few times I can connect with her, I kind of am kinda of OK during the week but then about 2 times a week I feel really down and awful, like I'm feeling today, one of those days where I seem to be invisible to her. I know I don't have much of a chance with her even though she doesn't have any kids, she still has a long term, serious, relationship. My biggest friends are mostly away, the ones that are closer I just don't seem to have a good connection with them. Maybe because they are younger than me, I also feel that they don't really like me, that I'm not part of the group. I can't work too much, I've recently been fired of a great working place: currently one of the top java companies. I was fired because during the times I've felt really depressed,I wasn't able to work properly. I've tried various psychologists and various psychiatrists but nothing seems to work or make me any better, only lost money and felt worse. About one year ago I've started tapering off my meds since they were just making me feel worse: slept too much, was getting fat, was feeling tired, etc.. Also quit with my psychologist since it wasn't making me feel any better and I was just losing money. I'm not a religious person or will ever be because I don't believe in it so that won't help me either. I'm 36 and still live with my mother. I'm a total failure and don't believe I belong in this world or that this world wants me in it. I don't believe I will ever be happy..
  2. Gave up antidepressants 4 months ago, using what I thought was a long and careful descent. (I cut down over about three months I think, apologies still a bit muddled). After reading your comments I now realise that it can take years, not months to reduce. I have no reason to be depressed (apart from the loss of everything financial in my life, and guilt feelings, over that). And realisations that my whole personality has been changed by these drugs for years now. Must mean I am finally getting my brain back, which is promising. I was not prepared for effects of the drugs and withdrawals to hit four months after stopping them. I now anticipate a year to get better... But others say it can take a lot longer. Can anyone advise me? Will my symptoms get worse before they get better? I do feel it is now too late to start taking them again, as I know that starting over again can be horrific, been there, done that. Dont want to go down that path again. I kept taking a small amount of seroquol, to help with the panic attacks. I find now, even a tiny amount makes me terribly sleepy. Am taking St Johns Wort, Vit B, fish oil capsules, zinc. And trying to eat eggs (for whatever is found in the egg yolk). I now think I need to give away the seroquol, as I have been taking small doses, very erratically, and I have no way of knowing if this is making things worse. Seroquol always seemed fine for me, but now I wonder.
  3. Have been on this stuff for only six months... 60mg Mirtazipene (in doses raised from 15mg. In 15 mg. increments) and 50 mg Serequol. I want off, but am aware that this stuff mucks up your brain. Temporararily or permanently? I am 81...what hope have I at this stage of life? I could cheerfully murder the psych who put me on these and now that I'm so much more informed re both depression and the meds... Help!
  4. Hello. This past Fall, I was placed on seroquel 100mg at night and 25 twice each day for trauma. I was also placed on 300 mg/Neurontin 3X day and 30 mg remeron at night. To start my tapering, my doctor switched my seroquel dosage to 50 mg in morning, 25 mg mid- day, and 50 mg at night. I also made the mistake last week of stopping on my own neurontin cold turkey. I also made the mistake last week of tapering my seroquel way too fast -- got to 75 mg a day. SO. I put myself back on the neurontin three days ago and am concentrating on the seroquel. For the last four days, I went back up to 50 mg in the morning, 25 mg mid day, and 50 mg at night. This is 25 mg less than what I was taking. I am having much morning anxiety and heart palpitations. I am wondering if it is due to her changing my dosages during the day. I used to take 100 mg at night and 25 twice each day for the past five months. Now, I am shifting and taking 50 mg in the morning, 25 mid-day and 50 mg at night. I have done this for four days now. I have no appetite. Should I stay this way or go back to the large dosage at night and taper from there?
  5. Hey Guys, Name's Kittie. Go by SailorMew on here. I'm 22. Diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and PTSD. Have some anxiety thrown in there as well but not enough for a full GAD diagnosis, but rather as more of a symptom of the other two diagnoses. I've been in and out of therapy since I was in 3rd grade, and on and off meds since I was 14. Finally found a mix that helped. Got put on Seroquel and Lamictal in April of 2016. As well as .25 of Xanax as needed for panic attacks. My ending doses before I started to taper were Lamictal 100mg 2x day morning and night Seroquel 100 1x day night Xanax .25 as needed I've been doing better. Hit a plateau. Found a new therapist to start Rapid Resolution Therapy with, high hopes for this one. Going to get my trauma figured out. The other day (2/22/2017) I actually missed my whole nighttime dose of medication because I fell asleep on the couch and then woke up and went directly to bed. The next morning I woke up at 7 am, which is unusual for me, fresh, energized and in a great mood. I've missed my meds before but I haven't felt that great in a while. I took my normal 100mg Lamictal that morning. Felt a little woozy but felt fine after taking the Lamictal. Had a great day. Forgot I could feel so much. Decided that my progress has plateaued with the meds and maybe its time to get off of them now, and learn to continue progress without meds, at least this one for now. I was initially put on it for sleep, in any case, and at such a low dosage it's mostly considered an antihistamine more than an antipsychotic. Although what I experienced that day could be considered maybe a hypomanic state, but since I'm not bipolar I don't have much worry over this. Personally, I just attribute it to the lack of zombie-inducing Seroquel in my system. (they say it's completely out within 48 hours, since I only take it every 24 hours and had missed a dose, it was already out IMO). Last night (2/23/2017) I decided to start my taper since I had already missed a dose. (good idea? bad? I don't know) I took 100 Lamictal as per usual. and 90mg of Seroquel. I used 1 50mg tablet and another 50mg tablet that I cut up to into quarters and only took 3 of 4 quarters. right before I took it I still felt kinda wired. once it set in sleep was normal. This morning (2/24/2017) I had the day off, so I slept in. woke up groggy, feeling kinda useless. definitely feeling the Seroquel back in my system. This sucks, I think to myself. Oh well. I read something that just the day before I would have gotten really emotional and inspired over, whereas today I was more like, hm, yeah, that's nice *apathy* towards. As the day goes on it starts wearing off a little more and I feel more lively. I take a nap around 6 pm and I wake up feeling a little more like the day before. Maybe I slept off the rest of it. Tonight I will take the same amount (90mg) before bed. Going to let this dose stabilize and then drop to 80mg. Just sharing my experience. Tips, tricks, and advice on tapering Seroquel welcome. Anyone on the same combination of meds and/or with the same disorders, your input is especially valuable! PS. I know it's ill advised to make decisions about your medication, while not on said mediation. I've taken that into account, considered it thoroughly withdrawal and side effects included, and I've consulted my close ones and gained support with this decision. I am currently trying to get in contact with my Psych, their office is hard to get a hold of (*cough* the secretary sucks *cough*) Generally though, she is more than supportive of whatever I choose to do with my medications. This is because I've been in the psych circuit for a long time, correctly self-diagnosed where professionals were constantly misdiagnosing me (as bipolar, ADHD, and a plethora of other things) (diagnosis confirmed while in DBT treatment), and because I've done my own extensive research on what works and doesn't work for my particular disorders. (Mostly everything I read points to Seroquel and Lamictal being the only effective meds. DBT is still the best therapy modality for it, in combination with trauma-focused approaches. I've found this to be true through personal experience) But I digress. Thanks!
  6. Hi, I have come on this forum to find help for my son. He was on Quetiapine for about 3 years for panic attacks and depression. He came off his last dose of 25mg in October after a gradual withdrawal. His anxiety level went sky high and he was very week and couldnt concentrate. He developed breathing ocd amongs other things and now worst of all he has depersonalisation. He is frightened of everything, including the planet, the sky and himself. His doctor initially says it is nothing to do with the tablets as withdrawal only lasts 3 weeks. All he can offer is more drugs and councelling, which he is now on the waiting list for, although he has been told that she cant help peolple in crisis. We have tried private councelling but that is not very good around here. On the DARE Facebook group they said he probably came off his drugs too quick. We have pthim on lots of vitamins and minerals, but nothing seems to really help. Any advice would be appreciated.
  7. Hello there folks Hopeful here. I stopped quitiapine 9 days ago. I was on 150mg and just stopped all straight away. I had tried to taper previously but my head was all over the place. This cold turkey hasn't been too bad. The sweating is the worst thing, then the not sleeping properly. I get waves of dizziness from time to time and feel drunk sometimes. I have a bit of a headache and a bit of akithasia. But I must say that depsite the withdrawel effects my head does actually feel free-er. I had been on the drug since April/May 2015 for depression. But it hasn't been effective as an anti-depressant for over a year now so decided to stop it. Just looking for some support many thanks hopeful
  8. I am really scared and confused; because I don´t know what to believe,am I in protracted withdrawal or relapse? Besides my aprehensivness, my phyisical symptoms are: ANXIETY,opression in my solar plexus, tiredness, diharrea, lack of apetite, due to anxiety, disrupted sleep, flu-like sensation, powerfull emotions, (neuro-emotions?) I think I´m producing a lot of cortisol, is it because temporary brain damage? Phosphatydilserine can help? I don´t have an exact record, but my last dose of Effexor was around July 26th, August and Sptember were awful, October was quite good, and this month bad again; maybe, maybe nuero sensations had lessen also anxiety but I´m getting disrupted sleep, worse. Profesionals tell me to start with ssri again; I feel trapped, in a dead end, very very scared. Please help me, tell I´m not going crazy. I´m also under a lot of pressure due to money problems; is this a triggering issue? I´m in dispair.
  9. I am looking forward to hearing from everyone who is or has gone down the road I am on. I have bipolar disorder. I was on lithium until about five years ago when it was discovered that I had 50% kidney function. I was put on quetiapine but have developed unbearable side effects. I have muscle spasms, drooling, swollen tongue, and my granddaughter started copying me clicking my mouth. I have had terrible constipation for a while but thought it was due to my diet and lifestyle until I sarted researching antipsychotic meds. This part is embarrassing but I did not know I was on an antipsychotic. I assumed it was an anti-convulsant. It just never dawned on me that my psych doc would put me on an antipsychotic. Now that I have done my research I am scared and confused. My psych doc suggested I try Tegretol after going off quetiapine. She wants me to go off quetiapine completely first to see what the "baseline" is as far as the side effects go. Now that I looked into the side effects I am afraid of all of these drugs. I am also afraid of not being medicated. I have been a compliant patient until now. Now I am just lost.
  10. Hi all. I am new here, and I'm unsure if posting in this forum is the correct one. I am in need of assistance and answers. I was diagnosed with PPOCD, and recently started having Harm OCD. I went to a partial hospitalization program, where they started me on antipsychotics. Low dose. They first tried ambilify where I was on it for 3 days but had awful side effects, so they switched me to risperidol .5. I was on that for about a week and a half before issues started. Muscle tightness, aggregation ect. They dropped the dose back down. I still had issues. They switched me to Serequil and put me on Prozac the same time. I was only on 25 mg of Serequil, and 10 mg of Prozac. I ended up hospitalized because the thoughts of harming my son intensified. They then told me I had psychosis. The only issue with that is I do not hear voices or have hallucinations. I just had impulsivity. I stopped Prozac within 3 days, but continued on Serequil. It didn't help me at all and instead I have had complete lack of emotion, lack of empathy, no motivation, issues with memory. They put me on Zyprexa 5mg for about 4 days and then switched me back to Serequil. Can antipsychotics cause these issues with HI? Even if I have tried multiple different ones? Or is switching all of these meds so quickly causing me this issue? Am I able to taper more quickly because I have not been on them for that long? I just feel completely emotionally numb, and not much anxiety at all. I would rather feel anxiety and hell then feel completely emotionally detached. My husband HATES this and wants me off.
  11. The reason I wanted to post was to see if anyone else had experienced what I have found the most personally disturbing effects of withdrawal from the Seroquel, Celexa and Gabapentin I was on for ten years. I was on Seroquel (100 mg), Gabapentin (600 mg) and Celexa (20 mg) for just over 10 years. Over the course of the summer, I tapered everything, but I am still on 15 mg of Celexa—I plan on dropping this once I stabilize. To be honest, the first couple of months after the taper (September and October) weren’t that bad because I knew what to expect: the mood swings, sleep problems, itching, nausea, crying spells, and floods of both good and bad emotions. None of these were enough to prevent me from feeling so proud that I finally was almost off all psych meds. Regardless of the uncomfortable symptoms, it was a big rush for me. To backtrack, the main reasons I wanted to get off Seroquel and Gabapentin were a fear of the long term effects and the fact that many days of the week for those ten years, I felt like I was walking around, living my life half asleep, zoned out and “out of it.” I got into the habit of drinking a lot of coffee as a way to cope, but no matter how much I drank, many days of the week I still felt sedated. So it was a big, horrible surprise for me when about two and half months after getting off the Seroquel and Gabapentin, that old feeling of not being fully awake returned. It started as the days got shorter, in mid-November, about two and a half months after stopping these meds and reducing my Celexa. I seemed to be especially sensitive to the changing light, and this feeling of not being awake was starting to happen every day, along with massive feelings of panic, doom and dread that somehow seemed to come on every afternoon as it got dark. When it’s at its worst, I feel like I am walking around in a dark nightmare that won’t go away, asking myself, “How is it possible to be feeling this? What has happened to my brain?” Along with these feelings, I’m experiencing troubling symptoms that I would best describe as cognitive or perceptual, and I’m really curious if anyone has felt this before, especially so long after finishing a taper of Seroquel or Gabapentin. This is how I would describe these differences in thinking and perception. I guess they could all be called “brain fog” of some sort: -Sudden problems with directions and orienting myself, even in familiar environments. I get lost and then panic. We all have mental maps that we use to get around. I feel like I can’t fully access mine anymore. I sometimes get confused about landmarks. -Vision problems. Issues with depth perception, especially at night. -Getting confused a lot. Especially with regards to time. Trouble remembering what day it is or when something recent happened. Also getting distracted and confused when a lot is going. Difficulty multitasking. -Lots of issues with short term and long-term memory. Forgetting a lot. Slower to retrieve memories. -Tons of trouble concentrating and focusing on anything that demands intense thought. Feeling like I can’t figure stuff out, or that I can’t think deeply about complex issues. Lots of mistakes counting change, getting confused during conversations, forgetting what I was planning to do. -A constant feeling that some parts of my brain aren’t working and that I’m having to do everything differently, like using other parts of my brain to do what I would have done easily before. -Feeling like the experience of talking and communicating with others is completely different than when I was on the meds. Like conversations are sped up and I get lost and anxious in them as I’m talking. Lots of odd experiences…I wonder if this is permanent, or even if this is normal and I just got used to being on the meds. I think it’s most troubling because it didn’t start immediately, but took several months before it began. When these issues happen, I usually begin to freak out and sometimes it turns into a panic attack. Has anyone out there been through anything like this?
  12. I was originally placed on Lexapro 20 mg, Klonopin 1 mg and Seroquel 100 mg in December of 2011, 3 month's before my mother passed away to help with depression, sleep and anxiety. I stayed on these for 2 year's when I decided I no longer needed to be medicated. I tapered all 3 at the same time by cutting them in half, waiting a few month's and then in half again. I stopped Lexapro in December of 2014. Then as per an incompetent doctor stopped the Klonopin in May of 2015. I ended up in the E.R followed by signing into a detox facility. I had no clue what a benzo was let alone that I had been on one and felt as if I was going to dye from what they said was benzo withdraws. Since then for the past year and a half I have tried to taper off Seroquel about 4 times. Each time was horrible and I was put back on the original dose of 100 mg. Through research and what a couple of doctor's have told me I was tapered to fast. I am a 21 year federal employee and have now been out of work since this January. I am at risk of losing everything I've worked so hard for including my home. I signed into another detox facility in February because they promised to get me off Seroquel and regain my sleep. It was a waste of time and money, I was lied to. So the doctor I am currently seeing has placed me on 2 benzo's to try and help with sleep and anxiety. they only help with my anxiety. One is Xanax .5 mg and Flurazepam 15 mg. She has tried many different meds trying to regain my sleep enough that I can function and go back to work but nothing is working. I feel as though I a m going through pure tortuous hell. Everyday is a battle and I am at my wits end!! I am currenty tapering down to 75 mg's one night 1st week then 2 night's 2nd week until I am down to 75 mg's every night which will take 7 weeks. I can't function, have no appetite, feel nacious, no energy and just feel like death warmed over. I can't push through much more as my day's have turned to weeks and my weeks to month's. I have so many reasons to live and so many thing's to look forward to but all I do is pray to God to just let me die in my sleep. I have no more push left in me. This has been like a never ending nightmare!! I would go to a detox facility in a heartbeat if they were ligit but the past 2 were horrible. I need my life back. I feel Seroquel has destroyed my life and I may even end up losing my job of 21 years. Is there an easier way to get off this or a detox facility that REALLY does get you off and help you??
  13. Hey, I'm new here. I was prescribed Stesolid and Paralgin Forte for fifteen years. Ended this in December 2015. I have ended my use of Cipralex (SSRI), and Remeron, which I got during my withdrawal periode. I still use Quetiapin (100 mg x 2). I am having a severe depression. How shall I go on with Quetiapin to end this cruel situation? I'm Norwegian. Sometimes my English might be a little different...
  14. Hi everybody, It's good to be here. This looks like a really great community of people who support each other through the weaning-off/withdrawal process of antidepressants and other psychotropic meds. In a nutshell, I'm horribly overprescribed. I had to be hospitalized in November due to withdrawal symptoms from trying to come off different medications too quickly, including Valium. The irony is that I hadn't been taking those medications for longer than two years. I'd been taking the Valium intermittently to help with my sleep, but more regularly when my doc started to pile medications on me. She told me to just keep taking Valium, which I did more regularly, without letting me know that I couldn't just up and quit it, nor did she warn me about the serious withdrawal effects that can happen as a result. After I got out of the hospital, I was put on a cocktail of new meds, which my psychiatrist increased, but nothing except the Effexor seemed to help much. Even though I suspected my psychiatrist wasn't doing what was in my best interests, I was kind of stuck with her as it would take me several months to get an appointment with a new psychiatrist. When I did find a new psychiatrist, she started to go to work on quickly taking me down from some of these meds, but I felt terrible W/D symptoms right away so reinstated. Under her, I've only been able to partially taper two of my medications, but I need to go at my own pace and not become so crippled by my W/D that I can't function at home or at work. I have two kids and a household to help support with my husband, and if it means taking a couple years (or more) to get off these meds, then so be it. My current doctor has recommended that, if it's taking me so long to get off the medications, I should go into a hospital where they'd take a much more "aggressive" tapering schedule, which basically means cold turkey. I had a taste of that in November and really don't want to repeat (or exacerbate) that experience. She thinks that I should taper the Ativan last, but it makes me feel not so great to take it. I can't tell whether the symptoms I feel from it--pressure on my head, organic fear, constant worry, obsession, anxiety--are tolerance withdrawal-related or direct side effects of taking the Ativan--or one of the other meds I'm on. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction therapy, and is said to be amenable to slow tapering schedules, on Monday, so I will see if she is willing to be a partner in my tapering and healing. I feel terrible that I allowed my original doctor to use me as a human guinea pig for so many meds, but I know I can't beat myself up or live in the past. All I can do is move forward and make the best decisions for my health, which is to taper slowly as to avoid (or at least minimize) W/D symptoms. See my sig line for the cocktail (grimace). More on my experiences is here: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2016/03/16/1502500/-My-experience-with-benzodiazepines-the-meds-that-too-few-know-are-dangerous Questions for the community (and apologies if they've already been addressed in another thread): Is it really true that it's better to wean off the A/Ds before the Ativan (benzo)? I feel that I'm having negative symptoms that worsen at night and make me pretty useless past 6 or 7, so I'm wondering whether it would actually be better for me to come off Ativan first to rule it out as the cause of these symptoms. I've heard that it's a bad idea to taper a benzo and an A/D at the same time. Is it acceptable to partially taper one medicine and hold, then partially taper the Ativan and hold, then resume tapering the A/D medicine? Can one safely taper an SSRI and a mood stabilizer at the same time, or an SSRI and an atypical at the same time, or is it best to just focus on one at a time? Thanks for letting me be a part of this community!
  15. pupperlover

    pupperlover: Seroquel

    Hey, I'm currently at 100mg of Seroquel XR and want to switch to Instant Release to make tapering easier. Has anybody tried to do that? I know some recommend to take multiple doses of IR during the day (like 6 small doses) but I'm scared I'll be knocked out during the day (since I'm not knocked out with XR and only take it for insomnia now) and it seems complicated. Also in response to tapering from high doses, I used to be at 200mg XR and switching to 150 and 100 was pretty easy for me so I guess it's really different for everyone, I stayed on 150 for maybe 3 months and then switched to 100. However switching from 100 to 50 made me unstable and that's why I want to go from XR to IR and taper slowly.
  16. A new member here, looking for some advice Two questions first, following my story (sorry, a bit long) 1) How to quit Wellbutrin XR 150mg safely, when IR or SR versions are not available? I have read the thread on tapering off, but I live in a country where the IR or SR versions are not sold, only 150mg and 300mg XR. I have now been on Wellbutrin for 6 weeks, when I was diagnosed with severe post-partum depression. 2) I've also on 100mg Ketipinor and 7,5-15mg Zimovane (I seem to be needing 15mg lately most nights) for the past 6 weeks. Which would be the best order of trying to get off the meds? So, I have an almost 6-month-old daughter, who decided to wean herself from breastfeeding at 2,5 months (early July 2016). After that I still continued to pump for another 4 weeks , after which Idecided enough was enough; I was pumping 4-5 times a day, which was exhausting. Around the same time as the breastfeeding ended I started having trouble sleeping. Even when the baby slept (and she's a great sleeper, thank goodness!) I could not. When I quit pumping, it got even worse. I was not really sleeping, and I was with the baby all day, and my mood really started to sink. A bit more than 6 weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist. I had already self-diagnosed the PPD (all the symptoms matched; I was crying, having negative thoughts about being a mom, having disturbing thoughts, borderline suicidal). After chatting for 45 minutes (I'd never seen the doctor before), she wanted to put me on a small dose of Lexapro, I think it was 5mg. I have previously been on Lexapro and other SSRIs for years (~20) on and off. I quit Lexapro in Januart while pregnant, but I had started to taper off 1,5 years before, small steps at a time, coming from 20mg to 2,5mg before quitting altogether. However, this time I got horrible symptoms almost immediately after starting Lexapro. I didn't sleep for ~72 hours, my anxiety was through the roof, I could not stay still. My husband took me to the ER after the third sleepless night, and I was hospitalized for two weeks. The hospital psychiatrista immediately took me off Lexapro, and started me on Wellbutrin, as well as the rest of the meds (Seroquel every night, and Zimovane as needed). I was not in the mental capacity to really question any of these decisions, and (as typical of psychiatrists, I've found), they don't really seem to care too much - one drug doesn't work, let's just try the next one. No matter that Wellbutrin is basically a stimulant, and one of my most pronounced symptoms was insomnia! Fast forward 6 weeks, I'm still on all of those meds. I haven't slept one night without the Zimovane, and of course I've had to up the dosage. Obvioisly, the sleep has helped tremendously (and I'm also getting more help with the baby), but it feels like absolute craziness to take stimulants in the morning and then sedatives in the evening. Some mornings I feel completly groggy, to the point of being unable to care for the baby. And even though I stay asleep for hours, the quality of the sleep is poor. I've done a lot of reading lately, and I've come to the conclusion that while antidepressants can be necessary and helpuf in acute stages of severe depression, in long-term use they are not only ineffective, but downright harmful. That's why I do not want to stay on the meds any longer than I absolutely have to. Ask a doctor, however, and they *never* recommed coming off them, ever. Worse, they want to up the dose, or just get you to try yet another one. Now, I know that most of the studies indicating that antidepressants are ineffective in the long run have been done on SSRIs, and Wellbutrin isn't an SSRI. Nevertheless, it just messes with different neurotransmitters. I'm also pretty sure that my insomnia was/is hormonal, caused by the end of breastfeeding, which then lead to depression. Granted, I've was struggling even before that with the fact that my whole has been turned upside-down by the birth of my daughter. Anyways, I'd love any input, especially concerning the order of quitting the meds, and the mechanics of quitting Wellbutrin. If anyone here has suffered from PPD, I'd really like to hear from you
  17. AR2003

    AR2003 Struggling

    Hi everyone. Some of my past history : I was first prescribed Antidepressants in 1990. I remember it was called Prothiaden. From then up unti 2013 I was prescribed different ones from Cipramil , Prozac , Seroxat ( twice), Anafranil , Lexapro , Effexor. I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I had intermittent usage and there was long periods of time that I was not on any meds. In 2013 after bereavement and trauma , I found myself to be very anxious and I could not sleep. I was prescribed Lexapro and from there , this horror story unfolds. The Lexapro seemed to make matters worse. I felt so much worse when it was increased. Then they added in Cymbalta . I was quickly tapered off Lexapro. The Cymbalta also made me feel even worse. I couldn't sleep , eat , I honestly couldn't function properly. My mind was in a mess. I tried counselling. I exercised. Nothing helped. A doctor then abruptly requested me to stop Cymbalta at this point. I was given Xanax for a week. Then It was discontinued and I was given Valium for a week. I became really ill at this point. I was then prescribed Lithium Abilify Seroquel and placed back on Cymbalta. ( in hospital ) I developed Akathisia from Abilify. It was discontinued. At this point , doctors were becoming more aware that these meds were making me so ill. They began to say I was ' super sensitive to meds' . I was now under the care of my previous doctor who tried to help me get off these meds. Since November 2013 , I bave come off Lithium ( 5 months use ) Abilify ( 3 weeks use ) Cymbalta ( in total 8 months use ) Lamictal ( 8 months use ) Ambien (1 year use ). To get off the Xanax , I was cross tapered to Valium. I was unable to get off any of these medications easily. I may seem very matter of fact in this post but honestly I am not. It's been sheer hell. The physical pain started in January 2014 . Nerve and muscle pain. Paresthesia . Crawling burning searing pain. Muscle twitching. ( I used to get ready bad electric type shocks in my spine and really bad muscle spasms. This has lessened ) My mental symptoms of anxiety , deep sadness , dp , irritation , anger and agitation have all decreased. My sleeping is better. Oh for this I am so very thankful. It's this physical pain. It never lets up. This is the scary part. Will it ever let up ? ..... I would really really appreciate your help and advice in this forum . It has taken me a long while to get as far as here. I am currently tapering off Seroquel. From 25mgs. I am holding at 6.25 mgs. This is another awful painful withdrawal. Can anyone help me with it ? Any other suggestions or thoughts about the pain I am in ? I have had countless blood tests and Mri Ultrasound and Xrays. All came back fine. I have some degenerative changes in lumbar spine but nothing to warrant this degree of pain. Many thanks for taking the time to read this.
  18. Hi recently (about a month ago) came off seroqul and serenada. Have been taking 200mg seroquel for the last 6 years every day i am 27 years old, I dont remember what dosage i took of serenada. Started having memory problems such as suddenly forgetting my phone number and how to reach some places. In addition i kind of feel slow and dizzy whenever im stressed. I read somewhere about a research that its results stated that antipaychotics may cause the grey and white matter to shrink and fear these drugs may have damaged my brain. Are these only withdrawl symptoms, am i just paranoid? Thanks
  19. Hi, I have been taking antipsychotic drugs for 12 years now. Initally on 5 mg abilify, then 10mg zyprexa, then 15 mg zyprexa for about 8 years, now I am on seroquel. Initially I was on 200 mg seroquel, now tapered down to 175 mg seroquel after 2 weeks. I have had strong withdrawal symptoms after being on generic olanzapine after 4 years out of 8 on zyprexa. Hoping to be able to taper off seroquel and be drug free. Wish me luck.
  20. irishrai

    Irishrai: struggling

    So I am struggling with 24/7 explosive anger. EVERYTHING is pissing me off. I am on Quetiapine 25 mg once a day and Lamotrigine and 2 twice a day. Useless. Went to emergency last night to try and get help as my Dr is on holiday as is my psychiatrist but they just said take half a Quetiapine in the morning. I tried it and it knocks me out. I told them it would but of course they don't believe me. ( it's only my body, what would I know!!!). i also take Black Cohosh So I am dealing with this on my own and don't know what to do. I don't know how much more I can take of this anger. I am not an angry person by nature ( I am Irish and most things are dealt with a "**** it" attitude). I have 3 kids of 5 ys , 7 ys and 20 ys and it is not a healthy environment for them. Especially the younger ones. On top of all this I cannot bear being around my husband but I don't know if it is because of this anger or we have come to the end of our marriage. This is just adding to everything. He works away from home for 14 days and is home for 7. Plus we/I are/am in the process of packing up the house to sell it.
  21. On and off meds for the last 7 years. Whenever tried to stop, things just got worse. The last time I tried to stop was Cymbalta. The withdrawal was awful after coming slowly off from 30, to 25 and then off at direction of Psych. I was in physical and emotional pain for 2 months, then had some mania, and then so depressed and anxious that I felt I was going to die. Even though I swore I would never go back on the meds, I felt like I had no choice after looking into the more holistic options and feeling unsure how to go about it all. (And trying some of it with no results) So in desperation I landed up at a new psych, who prescribed me Zoloft, the story is too long, but after losing tons of weight and not sleeping, him putting me on seroquil, which then led to me shaking all over my body, he switched me to zyprexa, as it seemed the Zoloft needed the kick. Well after quickly putting on weight and still not sleeping etc, he put me on trazadone. Sleep didn't get much better. So I asked if I can go off zyprexa, since there are other hormonal issues I have and was afraid of getting diabetes. At first I felt great, for 3 days, and been downhill ever since. I was only on 2.5 of the zyprexa for 2 months, and now reading online, it seems I am having withdrawal. Dr said I should go back to half the dose of the zyprexa. I am doing a very strict diet, can't excercise much cuz feel too weak, though I try when I can. I feel so sad that I was dealing with depression from early trauma and now I feel I can't live my life at all. I've tried so many things, therapy, meds etc and even recently saw an integrative Dr, to try help me get better. It takes time, and I feel so lost by the wealth of info on the Internet and whether to keep trusting Drs which hasn't worked out for me, or go the way of going off meds which was a disaster every time. At this point I don't want to live, everything just seems too much. (I have kids, and feel like I can't be a mother...) worst part is the DRs just say it's my depression and not withdrawal..... There's so much more but I'm not sure how much I should write.
  22. lucky12

    lucky12 Brain zaps

    I now have this close to a month and it's driving me crazy. I'm on Paxil 20mg Anafranil 150mg Lamictal 200mg Seroquel 75mg at night. Have not started to taper off of from any medication which is the most disturbing part of this situation. I started to have these incredibly uncomfortable brainzaps. It starts after a few hours from waking up and gets worse the whole day. When I move my eyes and change the direction I am looking, it gets triggered to the peak of this "volt" "electrical shock" and I can not even function at one point. I am afraid to move my eyes and to look somewhere else. I am afraid of any kind of movements. Nothing but sleep seems to help. I am missing my life, got a lot of work to do this week but I simply can't participate in life with this incredibly disturbing feeling. I've waited and waited for almost a month for it to pass on it's own. And my research always ends up with the same thing: "ssri withdrawal" or "tapering off drugs". See the point here is I am NOT withdrawing from anything. Not even tapering off. I am desperate for some help. Went to the neurology department of a hospital but I was feeling well during the EEG MRI and other tests. Everything turned out to be fine. I also sweat A LOT to the point that I get completely wet as a result of a minimum effort movement like climbing the stairs to the 2nd floor. And this is totally new for me too. Any kind of answer, help, suggestion would be very much appreciated. Best regards.
  23. hi survivors, My story is really long, but here's the short version: I'm in my mid-thirties, male, an intellectual/creative type. I developed panic attacks from adolescent trauma and was diagnosed with an "anxiety disorder." All through my 20s I was rx-ed higher and higher amounts of benzos. Eventually multiple failed benzo withdrawals on my own (c/t and rapid tapers) led to a serious suicide attempt and 2 month hospitalization 3 years ago. In the hospital I was taken off benzos and put on 300mg seroquel xr (against my wishes) along with a host of other drugs. I was in very bad shape for over a year, but then started to get much better-- the benzo w/d seemed to ease up a lot and I managed to ditch the other drugs over time and ween down to 150mg Seroquel XR a year ago. However when I tried to cut down to 100mg xr on my own all hell broke loose-- the worst symptom being strange painful brain spasms (my main symptom) which made me suicidal again. So I was put on way more Seroquel-- up to 600mg. I "stabilized" but was miserable on a drug I should never have been put on in the first place. So at present I'm on Seroquel 400mg xr and really wanna get off of it. I am not suicidal and I'm very grateful to have survived thus far, but life is not what it should be. I can't work yet, but I try to make the best of things by exercising, keeping up a good diet, staying active as much as possible, But the scary effects of the drug have started to really kick in more noticeably during the last several months-- emotional flatness, cognitive impairment especially memory issues, and that indescribable symptom of being "absent" in my own body and mind. It's a frightening feeling-- I've been through a ton of horrifying experiences with meds, but this eerie, soulless, "absent" feeling might be among the worst. So I want to get off this ****. The problem I think is that when I try to taper on my own I tend to rush it and I get hit with the brain-spasms and outrageous insomnia. Even when not tapering I have persistent problems with my sleep being disregulated, which I am positive is an effect of the drug. Anyway, there's gotta be a (better) way to do this. I don't know why I haven't checked in here before, it seems like a great site. I'm looking for feedback, support, and maybe even friendship on this lonely journey. Cas
  24. Hello, just over a year ago my psychiatrist lowered my Cymbalta dose from 60mg to 40mg. 2 days later, I was in severe withdrawals. She put me up to 50mg, but I didn't stabilize. Besides the physical symptoms (eye pain, dizziness, muscle pain and joint pain all over my body, and many more), I had the worst fear of my life. It was like everything around me looked like a nightmare. I also had insomnia and a high heart rate. I began having suicidal thoughts. In the hospital, they raised me back to my original dose of 60 mg and said I would stabilize in about a month's time...but that didn't happen. I switched psychiatrists, and the new one wanted to increase my dose to 90mg; she thought that was the only way I could get past this. At first I felt better...for maybe 10 days or so. Then the anxiety went through the roof. I couldn't sleep, when I finally could fall asleep late into the night, myoclonic jerks kept waking me up. I had muscle spasms/twitching/shuddering all through the day, too, all over my body. My heart rate was dangerously high. I was hospitalized again. They put me on Seroquel for sleep, and Neurontin to bring down the anxiety symptoms. It took me 3 months to come down off the Cymbalta, 1 mg per day, by opening the capsules and counting the beads. When I got down to about 10mg or so, I started getting brain zaps, very strong ones that would sometimes go through my whole body and out my fingers & toes. Most of the brain zaps branched forward into my cheeks. I had a lot of pain behind my ears, behind my jawbone. My depression and anxiety got bad. I had crying spells and deep sadness. The insomnia and myoclonic jerks got worse. The longer I was off the Cymbalta, the worse I was getting. About a month off, I was hospitalized once more. They increased my Seroquel and Neurontin, and put me on Lexapro. 2-3 weeks after starting Lexapro, I started getting tinnitus. First, some pings in one ear when I woke up one day. Then I developed loud hissing/ringing in both ears, and ear pain and pressure. About 6 weeks later, a low, rumbly hum in one ear like a truck idling in the distance. Then about 6 weeks later, beeping tones in a morse code pattern in both ears. About 10 days later, this became louder, and I got several high pitched tones in my left ear. The "morse code" tones happened in response to white noise. As time went on, I began to hear this even when there was no white noise in the background. It turned into a kind of jangly, metallic morse code, worse in my right ear. Then about a month later, I got a high-pitched feedback typed sound in my left ear, like when you get a microphone too close to its stand. Through this all, I've had intermittent ear pain, and times of pressure in there. Sometimes I get popping open of my ear, and it hurts. If I press on my ear from the outside there is burning pain deep inside. I have been seen by 2 doctors at our family practice, an urgent care doctor, an ENT, and an allergist. 4 of them said "Eustachian tube dysfunction due to allergies", but the allergist tested me and all allergy tests came back negative. I've never had my ears in this state before, though. I am now 6 months off Cymbalta. I don't know if the evolving tinnitus is due to extended Cymbalta withdrawal or due to the Lexapro. I am not sure if I should try coming off the Lexapro...will be talking to my doctor about this, but I'm nervous as I don't really know what direction to go in...all choices come with risk. I still get myoclonic jerks, but much less. I still get some muscle twitching during the day, but less. I am on the Seroquel and Neurontin for sleep and for the anxiety symptoms.
  25. Someone very close to me is thinking about coming off Quetiapine. I keep reading that a reduction of 10% a month should be safe, I would just never forgive myself if my advice in any way harmed him. So I wanted to describe the situation and ask for a second opinion. Diagnosis: Autism (type 1), depression, anxiety, under review: possible borderline personality disorder (I don't see it). Current meds: Pregabalin 600mg, Fluoxetine 20mg, Quetiapine 300mg. self medicating responsibly with cannabis. Age 23 now, Initially prescribed Quetiapine around 3 years ago "for insomnia". Dosage was then upped in 2 increments, most recently late 2014, to 300mg even though he feels his symptoms are adequately managed with the other 2 meds. He feels that he has never felt any benefits of Quetiapine and is suffering from a myriad of distressing side effects since the last dosage increase including a feeling of lost intelligence, visual disturbances and sudden weight gain. He has since been neglected by mental health service in his area and the whole thing stinks of incompetence. He has tried to come off it once before but typical doctor reduced way too fast. At 200mg, the extreme tinnitus, visual snow and other withdrawal symptoms were too much and he was reinstated. As someone who has experienced life changing-ly serious side effects and withdrawal myself I can see why even the thought of facing withdrawal again sends him into panic, but he still wants to reclaim what he feels he's lost. Currently discharged from mental health services it will take 3 months to get a 1 off appointment which they then refuse to follow up or review him (he hasn't even had a blood test in yonks). I advised that it is totally possible to recover at least 99% from anti psychotic withdrawal, especially at his age, if done at a snail's pace. I have suggested manually chopping his tablets up seeing as the doctors don't want to know. My only fear is that the Quetiapine could be contributing to his stability in some way by means of interacting with the other meds but this seems very unlikely given that he has never described any psychotic symptoms and remembers his symptoms improving dramatically with the introduction of the other meds, NOT the antipsychotic. What are your thoughts on the course of action? Do you have any tips or resources for this? Thank you so much.
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