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  1. Hi all. I am new here, and I'm unsure if posting in this forum is the correct one. I am in need of assistance and answers. I was diagnosed with PPOCD, and recently started having Harm OCD. I went to a partial hospitalization program, where they started me on antipsychotics. Low dose. They first tried ambilify where I was on it for 3 days but had awful side effects, so they switched me to risperidol .5. I was on that for about a week and a half before issues started. Muscle tightness, aggregation ect. They dropped the dose back down. I still had issues. They switched me to Serequil and put me on Prozac the same time. I was only on 25 mg of Serequil, and 10 mg of Prozac. I ended up hospitalized because the thoughts of harming my son intensified. They then told me I had psychosis. The only issue with that is I do not hear voices or have hallucinations. I just had impulsivity. I stopped Prozac within 3 days, but continued on Serequil. It didn't help me at all and instead I have had complete lack of emotion, lack of empathy, no motivation, issues with memory. They put me on Zyprexa 5mg for about 4 days and then switched me back to Serequil. Can antipsychotics cause these issues with HI? Even if I have tried multiple different ones? Or is switching all of these meds so quickly causing me this issue? Am I able to taper more quickly because I have not been on them for that long? I just feel completely emotionally numb, and not much anxiety at all. I would rather feel anxiety and hell then feel completely emotionally detached. My husband HATES this and wants me off.
  2. The reason I wanted to post was to see if anyone else had experienced what I have found the most personally disturbing effects of withdrawal from the Seroquel, Celexa and Gabapentin I was on for ten years. I was on Seroquel (100 mg), Gabapentin (600 mg) and Celexa (20 mg) for just over 10 years. Over the course of the summer, I tapered everything, but I am still on 15 mg of Celexa—I plan on dropping this once I stabilize. To be honest, the first couple of months after the taper (September and October) weren’t that bad because I knew what to expect: the mood swings, sleep problems, itching, nausea, crying spells, and floods of both good and bad emotions. None of these were enough to prevent me from feeling so proud that I finally was almost off all psych meds. Regardless of the uncomfortable symptoms, it was a big rush for me. To backtrack, the main reasons I wanted to get off Seroquel and Gabapentin were a fear of the long term effects and the fact that many days of the week for those ten years, I felt like I was walking around, living my life half asleep, zoned out and “out of it.” I got into the habit of drinking a lot of coffee as a way to cope, but no matter how much I drank, many days of the week I still felt sedated. So it was a big, horrible surprise for me when about two and half months after getting off the Seroquel and Gabapentin, that old feeling of not being fully awake returned. It started as the days got shorter, in mid-November, about two and a half months after stopping these meds and reducing my Celexa. I seemed to be especially sensitive to the changing light, and this feeling of not being awake was starting to happen every day, along with massive feelings of panic, doom and dread that somehow seemed to come on every afternoon as it got dark. When it’s at its worst, I feel like I am walking around in a dark nightmare that won’t go away, asking myself, “How is it possible to be feeling this? What has happened to my brain?” Along with these feelings, I’m experiencing troubling symptoms that I would best describe as cognitive or perceptual, and I’m really curious if anyone has felt this before, especially so long after finishing a taper of Seroquel or Gabapentin. This is how I would describe these differences in thinking and perception. I guess they could all be called “brain fog” of some sort: -Sudden problems with directions and orienting myself, even in familiar environments. I get lost and then panic. We all have mental maps that we use to get around. I feel like I can’t fully access mine anymore. I sometimes get confused about landmarks. -Vision problems. Issues with depth perception, especially at night. -Getting confused a lot. Especially with regards to time. Trouble remembering what day it is or when something recent happened. Also getting distracted and confused when a lot is going. Difficulty multitasking. -Lots of issues with short term and long-term memory. Forgetting a lot. Slower to retrieve memories. -Tons of trouble concentrating and focusing on anything that demands intense thought. Feeling like I can’t figure stuff out, or that I can’t think deeply about complex issues. Lots of mistakes counting change, getting confused during conversations, forgetting what I was planning to do. -A constant feeling that some parts of my brain aren’t working and that I’m having to do everything differently, like using other parts of my brain to do what I would have done easily before. -Feeling like the experience of talking and communicating with others is completely different than when I was on the meds. Like conversations are sped up and I get lost and anxious in them as I’m talking. Lots of odd experiences…I wonder if this is permanent, or even if this is normal and I just got used to being on the meds. I think it’s most troubling because it didn’t start immediately, but took several months before it began. When these issues happen, I usually begin to freak out and sometimes it turns into a panic attack. Has anyone out there been through anything like this?
  3. Hello all, i am new and on quite the cocktail and i realize that withdrawing will take a significant amount of time. 3 weeks ago my doctor went from 25mg Zyprexa to 20mg voluntarily. Yesterday i went from 75mg Trazodone to 62.5mg. drug, morning dose, noon dose, evening dose, nighttime dose: Seroquel XR 300-0-0-0 Seroquel 0-0-0-650 Zyprexa 2.5-0-2.5-15 Trazodone 62,5-0-0-0 Venlafaxine 0-0-0-37,5 Metformin 500-0-500-1000 I have OCDish side effects from those and that sucks. Regards Julian
  4. I'm 32 with no prior history of mental health problems. I had a manic and psychotic episode in late May of 2015 after to weeks of starting CPAP therapy for severe sleep apnea. I take a cab to my hometown and admit myself to the hospital because I'm freaked out by my behaviour and my feelings, and after being evaluated I'm given seroquel (25 mg 2x day) and risperidone (2 mg before bed) and end up staying at the psychiatric ward for 5 weeks. After leaving the hospital, I suddenly have no libido and significant fogginess and anhedonia. I get off seroquel and get prescribed lithium (450 mg initially, later 600 mg) because I can't stay awake on the seroquel. I quit the risperidone and then the lithium because I can't take being a fat, bored, pill-dependent zombie. I'm struggling with the risperidone withdrawl, but I'm able to work full time, I'm gradually getting less bored and anxious, and my libido is starting to come back. (I seldom have acute sexual desire, but I'm actually able to get an erection and to get myself off when I make the effort to fantasize about stuff that turns me on, whereas I went weeks without bring able to have an erection or, naturally, to orgasm while I was gullibly poisioning myself with risperidone) I'm just very frustrated that I was never advised that risperidone had such nasty side effects, but I did go from being manic and euphoric to pretty well losing touch with reality. I think I had a dopamine overload because the CPAP therapy improved my sleep and my energy level so incredibly that it felt like a bloody miracle. I started feeling like I was on ecstasy or on a good crystal meth trip or something (wouldn't know...I've only had booze and pot, but based on what I've read...). I felt this incredible euphoria and sense of empathy, and I was writing political rhetoric and coming up with grandiose idea to make the world a better place and to make my place of employment kick butt, but then I lost touch with reality, destroyed some possessions, and blew $200 on a cab ride. Anyways, I just want to be happy again. I want to take pleasure in the stuff that I used to like before all this happened, I want to lose weight and get myself in shape (making process on this front...But I suppose when your BMI is 40, you can lose weight even when lithium and risperidone are dragging you down), I want to fall in love with my job and with my ideals again, I want to be a better version of the person that I was before I got treatment for my sleep apnea. I know it's not the CPAP therapy that does that to me. All it does is ensure that I can breath when I sleep. Common sense dictates that when you stop breathing 100 times an hour and keep waking up and failing to reach REM sleep and spending your days micro-napping, you obviously need medical addition It's dealing with the fact that I experienced something very similar to drug-induced psychosis for what I assume was a dopamine overload, hallucinated the second coming of Jesus Christ while I was psychotic, was surrounded by people with delusional beliefs when I was at the psychiatric ward that fed into the craziness, and then, because of the hallucinations and the religious delusions prior to my coming to grips with the risperidone side-effects, thought I was in Hell. In reality, the anhedonia, the anxiety, and the libido problems were just consequences of my having to deal deal with one of Satan's poisons here on Earth: risperidone. I wish everyone peace, love, happiness, fulfilment, freedom from psychiatry, and awesome sex! And please let and every one of us get better!
  5. I was originally placed on Lexapro 20 mg, Klonopin 1 mg and Seroquel 100 mg in December of 2011, 3 month's before my mother passed away to help with depression, sleep and anxiety. I stayed on these for 2 year's when I decided I no longer needed to be medicated. I tapered all 3 at the same time by cutting them in half, waiting a few month's and then in half again. I stopped Lexapro in December of 2014. Then as per an incompetent doctor stopped the Klonopin in May of 2015. I ended up in the E.R followed by signing into a detox facility. I had no clue what a benzo was let alone that I had been on one and felt as if I was going to dye from what they said was benzo withdraws. Since then for the past year and a half I have tried to taper off Seroquel about 4 times. Each time was horrible and I was put back on the original dose of 100 mg. Through research and what a couple of doctor's have told me I was tapered to fast. I am a 21 year federal employee and have now been out of work since this January. I am at risk of losing everything I've worked so hard for including my home. I signed into another detox facility in February because they promised to get me off Seroquel and regain my sleep. It was a waste of time and money, I was lied to. So the doctor I am currently seeing has placed me on 2 benzo's to try and help with sleep and anxiety. they only help with my anxiety. One is Xanax .5 mg and Flurazepam 15 mg. She has tried many different meds trying to regain my sleep enough that I can function and go back to work but nothing is working. I feel as though I a m going through pure tortuous hell. Everyday is a battle and I am at my wits end!! I am currenty tapering down to 75 mg's one night 1st week then 2 night's 2nd week until I am down to 75 mg's every night which will take 7 weeks. I can't function, have no appetite, feel nacious, no energy and just feel like death warmed over. I can't push through much more as my day's have turned to weeks and my weeks to month's. I have so many reasons to live and so many thing's to look forward to but all I do is pray to God to just let me die in my sleep. I have no more push left in me. This has been like a never ending nightmare!! I would go to a detox facility in a heartbeat if they were ligit but the past 2 were horrible. I need my life back. I feel Seroquel has destroyed my life and I may even end up losing my job of 21 years. Is there an easier way to get off this or a detox facility that REALLY does get you off and help you??
  6. Hey, I'm new here. I was prescribed Stesolid and Paralgin Forte for fifteen years. Ended this in December 2015. I have ended my use of Cipralex (SSRI), and Remeron, which I got during my withdrawal periode. I still use Quetiapin (100 mg x 2). I am having a severe depression. How shall I go on with Quetiapin to end this cruel situation? I'm Norwegian. Sometimes my English might be a little different...
  7. pupperlover

    pupperlover: Seroquel

    Hey, I'm currently at 100mg of Seroquel XR and want to switch to Instant Release to make tapering easier. Has anybody tried to do that? I know some recommend to take multiple doses of IR during the day (like 6 small doses) but I'm scared I'll be knocked out during the day (since I'm not knocked out with XR and only take it for insomnia now) and it seems complicated. Also in response to tapering from high doses, I used to be at 200mg XR and switching to 150 and 100 was pretty easy for me so I guess it's really different for everyone, I stayed on 150 for maybe 3 months and then switched to 100. However switching from 100 to 50 made me unstable and that's why I want to go from XR to IR and taper slowly.
  8. If you or a loved one was harmed by antipsychotic drugs (such as Abilify, Seroquel, Invega, Zyprexa, or Risperdal) taken while in the custody of the Maryland juvenile justice system, PM me and we'll talk. I am a free-lance writer specializing in medical harm.
  9. A new member here, looking for some advice Two questions first, following my story (sorry, a bit long) 1) How to quit Wellbutrin XR 150mg safely, when IR or SR versions are not available? I have read the thread on tapering off, but I live in a country where the IR or SR versions are not sold, only 150mg and 300mg XR. I have now been on Wellbutrin for 6 weeks, when I was diagnosed with severe post-partum depression. 2) I've also on 100mg Ketipinor and 7,5-15mg Zimovane (I seem to be needing 15mg lately most nights) for the past 6 weeks. Which would be the best order of trying to get off the meds? So, I have an almost 6-month-old daughter, who decided to wean herself from breastfeeding at 2,5 months (early July 2016). After that I still continued to pump for another 4 weeks , after which Idecided enough was enough; I was pumping 4-5 times a day, which was exhausting. Around the same time as the breastfeeding ended I started having trouble sleeping. Even when the baby slept (and she's a great sleeper, thank goodness!) I could not. When I quit pumping, it got even worse. I was not really sleeping, and I was with the baby all day, and my mood really started to sink. A bit more than 6 weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist. I had already self-diagnosed the PPD (all the symptoms matched; I was crying, having negative thoughts about being a mom, having disturbing thoughts, borderline suicidal). After chatting for 45 minutes (I'd never seen the doctor before), she wanted to put me on a small dose of Lexapro, I think it was 5mg. I have previously been on Lexapro and other SSRIs for years (~20) on and off. I quit Lexapro in Januart while pregnant, but I had started to taper off 1,5 years before, small steps at a time, coming from 20mg to 2,5mg before quitting altogether. However, this time I got horrible symptoms almost immediately after starting Lexapro. I didn't sleep for ~72 hours, my anxiety was through the roof, I could not stay still. My husband took me to the ER after the third sleepless night, and I was hospitalized for two weeks. The hospital psychiatrista immediately took me off Lexapro, and started me on Wellbutrin, as well as the rest of the meds (Seroquel every night, and Zimovane as needed). I was not in the mental capacity to really question any of these decisions, and (as typical of psychiatrists, I've found), they don't really seem to care too much - one drug doesn't work, let's just try the next one. No matter that Wellbutrin is basically a stimulant, and one of my most pronounced symptoms was insomnia! Fast forward 6 weeks, I'm still on all of those meds. I haven't slept one night without the Zimovane, and of course I've had to up the dosage. Obvioisly, the sleep has helped tremendously (and I'm also getting more help with the baby), but it feels like absolute craziness to take stimulants in the morning and then sedatives in the evening. Some mornings I feel completly groggy, to the point of being unable to care for the baby. And even though I stay asleep for hours, the quality of the sleep is poor. I've done a lot of reading lately, and I've come to the conclusion that while antidepressants can be necessary and helpuf in acute stages of severe depression, in long-term use they are not only ineffective, but downright harmful. That's why I do not want to stay on the meds any longer than I absolutely have to. Ask a doctor, however, and they *never* recommed coming off them, ever. Worse, they want to up the dose, or just get you to try yet another one. Now, I know that most of the studies indicating that antidepressants are ineffective in the long run have been done on SSRIs, and Wellbutrin isn't an SSRI. Nevertheless, it just messes with different neurotransmitters. I'm also pretty sure that my insomnia was/is hormonal, caused by the end of breastfeeding, which then lead to depression. Granted, I've was struggling even before that with the fact that my whole has been turned upside-down by the birth of my daughter. Anyways, I'd love any input, especially concerning the order of quitting the meds, and the mechanics of quitting Wellbutrin. If anyone here has suffered from PPD, I'd really like to hear from you
  10. AR2003

    AR2003 Struggling

    Hi everyone. Some of my past history : I was first prescribed Antidepressants in 1990. I remember it was called Prothiaden. From then up unti 2013 I was prescribed different ones from Cipramil , Prozac , Seroxat ( twice), Anafranil , Lexapro , Effexor. I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I had intermittent usage and there was long periods of time that I was not on any meds. In 2013 after bereavement and trauma , I found myself to be very anxious and I could not sleep. I was prescribed Lexapro and from there , this horror story unfolds. The Lexapro seemed to make matters worse. I felt so much worse when it was increased. Then they added in Cymbalta . I was quickly tapered off Lexapro. The Cymbalta also made me feel even worse. I couldn't sleep , eat , I honestly couldn't function properly. My mind was in a mess. I tried counselling. I exercised. Nothing helped. A doctor then abruptly requested me to stop Cymbalta at this point. I was given Xanax for a week. Then It was discontinued and I was given Valium for a week. I became really ill at this point. I was then prescribed Lithium Abilify Seroquel and placed back on Cymbalta. ( in hospital ) I developed Akathisia from Abilify. It was discontinued. At this point , doctors were becoming more aware that these meds were making me so ill. They began to say I was ' super sensitive to meds' . I was now under the care of my previous doctor who tried to help me get off these meds. Since November 2013 , I bave come off Lithium ( 5 months use ) Abilify ( 3 weeks use ) Cymbalta ( in total 8 months use ) Lamictal ( 8 months use ) Ambien (1 year use ). To get off the Xanax , I was cross tapered to Valium. I was unable to get off any of these medications easily. I may seem very matter of fact in this post but honestly I am not. It's been sheer hell. The physical pain started in January 2014 . Nerve and muscle pain. Paresthesia . Crawling burning searing pain. Muscle twitching. ( I used to get ready bad electric type shocks in my spine and really bad muscle spasms. This has lessened ) My mental symptoms of anxiety , deep sadness , dp , irritation , anger and agitation have all decreased. My sleeping is better. Oh for this I am so very thankful. It's this physical pain. It never lets up. This is the scary part. Will it ever let up ? ..... I would really really appreciate your help and advice in this forum . It has taken me a long while to get as far as here. I am currently tapering off Seroquel. From 25mgs. I am holding at 6.25 mgs. This is another awful painful withdrawal. Can anyone help me with it ? Any other suggestions or thoughts about the pain I am in ? I have had countless blood tests and Mri Ultrasound and Xrays. All came back fine. I have some degenerative changes in lumbar spine but nothing to warrant this degree of pain. Many thanks for taking the time to read this.
  11. Hi recently (about a month ago) came off seroqul and serenada. Have been taking 200mg seroquel for the last 6 years every day i am 27 years old, I dont remember what dosage i took of serenada. Started having memory problems such as suddenly forgetting my phone number and how to reach some places. In addition i kind of feel slow and dizzy whenever im stressed. I read somewhere about a research that its results stated that antipaychotics may cause the grey and white matter to shrink and fear these drugs may have damaged my brain. Are these only withdrawl symptoms, am i just paranoid? Thanks
  12. Hi, I have been taking antipsychotic drugs for 12 years now. Initally on 5 mg abilify, then 10mg zyprexa, then 15 mg zyprexa for about 8 years, now I am on seroquel. Initially I was on 200 mg seroquel, now tapered down to 175 mg seroquel after 2 weeks. I have had strong withdrawal symptoms after being on generic olanzapine after 4 years out of 8 on zyprexa. Hoping to be able to taper off seroquel and be drug free. Wish me luck.
  13. If you or a loved one were harmed by antipsychotics prescribed while in the custody of the foster care system in Maryland and you re interested in being interviewed about your experiences, email me and we'll talk. I am a free-lance writer specializing in medical harm. Here is a link to my writer's website: http://patrickhahn5.wix.com/meliponula My email address is patrickhahn (at) hotmail.com
  14. On and off meds for the last 7 years. Whenever tried to stop, things just got worse. The last time I tried to stop was Cymbalta. The withdrawal was awful after coming slowly off from 30, to 25 and then off at direction of Psych. I was in physical and emotional pain for 2 months, then had some mania, and then so depressed and anxious that I felt I was going to die. Even though I swore I would never go back on the meds, I felt like I had no choice after looking into the more holistic options and feeling unsure how to go about it all. (And trying some of it with no results) So in desperation I landed up at a new psych, who prescribed me Zoloft, the story is too long, but after losing tons of weight and not sleeping, him putting me on seroquil, which then led to me shaking all over my body, he switched me to zyprexa, as it seemed the Zoloft needed the kick. Well after quickly putting on weight and still not sleeping etc, he put me on trazadone. Sleep didn't get much better. So I asked if I can go off zyprexa, since there are other hormonal issues I have and was afraid of getting diabetes. At first I felt great, for 3 days, and been downhill ever since. I was only on 2.5 of the zyprexa for 2 months, and now reading online, it seems I am having withdrawal. Dr said I should go back to half the dose of the zyprexa. I am doing a very strict diet, can't excercise much cuz feel too weak, though I try when I can. I feel so sad that I was dealing with depression from early trauma and now I feel I can't live my life at all. I've tried so many things, therapy, meds etc and even recently saw an integrative Dr, to try help me get better. It takes time, and I feel so lost by the wealth of info on the Internet and whether to keep trusting Drs which hasn't worked out for me, or go the way of going off meds which was a disaster every time. At this point I don't want to live, everything just seems too much. (I have kids, and feel like I can't be a mother...) worst part is the DRs just say it's my depression and not withdrawal..... There's so much more but I'm not sure how much I should write.
  15. Hi I have been on psych meds for 20 years and the oldest one I am still on is lithium for 14 years. I thought it was longer but then realised that is less which is good I guess. Though still a long time. I am just taking the first step in this process, which is gathering my support team around me. I have to wait to see what my psychiatrist is going to say on Tuesday but I am going in there prepared for a "no" and if that happens, I will be changing to a new psych. I'll give mine a go but I don't think she will come on board. This is all so scary. These drugs have been both, at times a support, at times a crutch but also really negative. I shake and jerk all the time, which is a huge reason as to why I want to reduce or come off my meds. I am looking forward to getting to know you . Cali
  16. lucky12

    lucky12 Brain zaps

    I now have this close to a month and it's driving me crazy. I'm on Paxil 20mg Anafranil 150mg Lamictal 200mg Seroquel 75mg at night. Have not started to taper off of from any medication which is the most disturbing part of this situation. I started to have these incredibly uncomfortable brainzaps. It starts after a few hours from waking up and gets worse the whole day. When I move my eyes and change the direction I am looking, it gets triggered to the peak of this "volt" "electrical shock" and I can not even function at one point. I am afraid to move my eyes and to look somewhere else. I am afraid of any kind of movements. Nothing but sleep seems to help. I am missing my life, got a lot of work to do this week but I simply can't participate in life with this incredibly disturbing feeling. I've waited and waited for almost a month for it to pass on it's own. And my research always ends up with the same thing: "ssri withdrawal" or "tapering off drugs". See the point here is I am NOT withdrawing from anything. Not even tapering off. I am desperate for some help. Went to the neurology department of a hospital but I was feeling well during the EEG MRI and other tests. Everything turned out to be fine. I also sweat A LOT to the point that I get completely wet as a result of a minimum effort movement like climbing the stairs to the 2nd floor. And this is totally new for me too. Any kind of answer, help, suggestion would be very much appreciated. Best regards.
  17. hi survivors, My story is really long, but here's the short version: I'm in my mid-thirties, male, an intellectual/creative type. I developed panic attacks from adolescent trauma and was diagnosed with an "anxiety disorder." All through my 20s I was rx-ed higher and higher amounts of benzos. Eventually multiple failed benzo withdrawals on my own (c/t and rapid tapers) led to a serious suicide attempt and 2 month hospitalization 3 years ago. In the hospital I was taken off benzos and put on 300mg seroquel xr (against my wishes) along with a host of other drugs. I was in very bad shape for over a year, but then started to get much better-- the benzo w/d seemed to ease up a lot and I managed to ditch the other drugs over time and ween down to 150mg Seroquel XR a year ago. However when I tried to cut down to 100mg xr on my own all hell broke loose-- the worst symptom being strange painful brain spasms (my main symptom) which made me suicidal again. So I was put on way more Seroquel-- up to 600mg. I "stabilized" but was miserable on a drug I should never have been put on in the first place. So at present I'm on Seroquel 400mg xr and really wanna get off of it. I am not suicidal and I'm very grateful to have survived thus far, but life is not what it should be. I can't work yet, but I try to make the best of things by exercising, keeping up a good diet, staying active as much as possible, But the scary effects of the drug have started to really kick in more noticeably during the last several months-- emotional flatness, cognitive impairment especially memory issues, and that indescribable symptom of being "absent" in my own body and mind. It's a frightening feeling-- I've been through a ton of horrifying experiences with meds, but this eerie, soulless, "absent" feeling might be among the worst. So I want to get off this ****. The problem I think is that when I try to taper on my own I tend to rush it and I get hit with the brain-spasms and outrageous insomnia. Even when not tapering I have persistent problems with my sleep being disregulated, which I am positive is an effect of the drug. Anyway, there's gotta be a (better) way to do this. I don't know why I haven't checked in here before, it seems like a great site. I'm looking for feedback, support, and maybe even friendship on this lonely journey. Cas
  18. Hi All! Just wanted to say I've been scouring this site for advice from people who have gone through tapering before, and have found the advice here invaluable. I wish I knew about it sooner because it would have saved me a lot of heartache. Here is my history: I had been an extremely anxious child, kind of a hypochondriac, and extremely sensitive. In 2000 when I was 15 years old I was diagnosed with major depression, and had some psychotic episodes (mostly paranoia). During this time, my parents gave me some of my dad's medications (I am not sure which ones) which may have exacerbated the situation. After two weeks, I started on 20 mg of Paxil and 25 mg of Seroquel in 2000. Tapered off of Seroquel quickly after a week or so, stayed on the 20 mg of Paxil until 2007. Cold turkey off of Paxil for 9 months - experienced a number of side effects - head zaps, mood swings, irrational behavior, hypomania. After 9 months, reinstated 20 mg of Paxil, was on 40 mg for a few weeks. Saw my Pdoc and she told me to go on 10 mg Paxil, 50 mg of Seroquel, and 250 mg of Depakote for my new bipolar diagnosis. I stayed on this until summer of 2014 when I tried weaning off of Paxil to 5mg. Within 2 or 3 months I started feeling hopeless and depressed even with the Seroquel and Depakote. Went to Pdoc, he told me my depression was returning, and so I reinstated to 10mg. In March of 2015, I switched from 10 mg of Paxil to 10 mg of Prozac by adding 10 mg of Prozac for 2 weeks, cutting down the Paxil to 5 mg in another two weeks, and then completely off the Paxil in another two weeks. I experienced some minor depression for a few days. I didn't know I was experiencing withdrawal at the time. In May of 2015, I weaned off the Depakote with a schedule from Pdoc from 250mg to 125 mg in two weeks, then off completely two weeks after that. I didn't experience any debilitating withdrawal symptoms with Depakote, except one day of diarrhea which could have also been food poisoning. On 9/9/15 I started tapering off of Seroquel from 50 mg to 25 mg which was my Pdoc's tapering schedule. The night of the cut, I immediately experienced insomnia and got a few hours of in and out sleep. After about 3 or 4 days I got a little bit more sleep and was feeling a lot sharper and less sluggish. I realized that the Seroquel was what was blunting my emotions and contributing to extreme apathy. I was also sleeping way too much and feeling groggy the next day. So when I went off of it, I felt amazing. After about 4 days, I cut the half into another half (12.5 mg), didn't get much sleep but still felt sharp, but experienced cold sweats. Some anxiety started to creep in as well. In my anxiety, I decided I wanted to get off completely, and so I didn't take it that night and had the worst insomnia I'd ever had. I slept for maybe 20 or 30 minutes. The next day I was having trouble regulating body temperature, had chills and sweats, and felt like all my nerve endings were raw and exposed. I reinstated to 12.5 mg and felt immediate relief in my withdrawal symptoms the next day. A couple of days on 12.5 mg wasn't cutting it, so I went back up to 25mg. I was beginning to feel extremely anxious and depressed in the morning, and had mini panic attacks during my lunch breaks at work. I decided to go back up to 35 mg, which is where I am now. 35 mg of Seroquel and 10 mg of Prozac. I am feeling pretty stable these past two days after reinstating the 35mg of Seroquel, still early morning disturbances and manageable levels of anxiety and depression in the morning. I usually feel much better by noon. I do still have dizziness and headaches as well. I am now 29 years old, have a 9-5 job, work out regularly (4-6 times a week), and am eating as well as I can. I am taking no supplements. This forum has been extremely helpful to me and was instrumental in my reinstating. I have often been too stubborn, thinking all my effort is going to waste, and end up suffering a lot. It is important to me to continue working and keep up with my social life and exercise. I know that it will contribute to my healing, along with prayer and knowing Jesus is beside me every step of the way. From the Slowness of Slow Tapers thread, I found a lot of encouragement to be patient and to hold until feeling stable. This is going to be a long and arduous journey, but I have hope that I will at least be on as little medication as possible, or none at all.
  19. This is how antidepressants have turned my entire life upside down in the small space of 8 months I fell pregnant with my daughter who is now 15 mnths old. I immediately became depressed showing nearly all signs of depression and was advised by my doctor to go on antidepressants whilst pregnant or I could end up with postnatal depression. I refused as I didn't want any harm to come to my unborn child from any side affects. So I muddled on, then surely enough after a traumatic unplanned caesarean I could not bond with my daughter and was really struggling to just to do the simplest tasks, plus many other symptoms of postnatal depression. 8 months after the birth of my daughter I knew I just couldn't go any further I needed medication. I hated the stigma attached but just couldn't do it any other way. I was put on 50mg sertraline and I felt the effects immediately and thought this was the best thing ever! Woohoo! A few weeks later I was sat in my kitchen and remember having vivid suicidal thoughts about hanging myself, I was not of low mood at all but none the less these thoughts were there I remember having a kind of itching sensation around my neck and the only way I thought I could get rid of the itching was to get the rope put it around my neck and hang myself. HOLY ****! I totally realised what I was thinking and panicked I telephoned my partner and explained what had happened and that I totally understand now how someone could commit suicide, it felt like it was my calling. So, my partner and I did some research on antidepressants which confirmed our suspicions, so I decided to taper off the Sertraline, which I did over a month or so, just lowering the dose slightly each week. Soon after depression hit again. It wasn't all the time but when it hit I was out for a couple of days, bed ridden and just wanted no contact with anyone. I was looking after the kids and my partner worked full time, so as you can imagine this really messed with our lives. My partner was constantly taking time off work, it just wasn't good. I sought help from a hypnotherapist/behavioural therapist rather than go back to the doc because I knew he’d just hand me another prescription and I thought I’d rather be depressed than have suicidal thoughts. Doing this worked in the short term, but I just couldn't kick the depression. So losing all hope and seeing no alternative I went back to the doc and back on the pills. 30mg Paroxetine again and as with the previous medication it worked immediately! Woohoo! Then 2 months down the line I started to feel really weird, foggy in the head, terrible concentration, totally unable to problem solve, multitask or even remember the simplest things. So I went to the doc and explained that I think I am having side effects from the medication and I need some help as I feel like my brain is starting to shut down. He disagreed with me saying it didn't sound like a side effect, upped my dose and sent me to counselling. Two weeks after the dosage was upped the suicidal thoughts crept in and I just decided to end my life that night by taking an overdose of the remaining Paroxetine tablets. I was then hospitalised in a psychiatric ward where the psychiatrist diagnosed me with Bipolar type 2 and agreed that considering my pervious history that the doc should not have upped my meds and they were a direct cause of the suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide. So thanks to the well informed Doc’s prescribing this stuff willy nilly, I could have killed myself twice! Anyway, I stayed in hospital whilst they immediately took me off the Paroxetine and put me on mirtazapine 30mg and Seroquel 50mg. low and behold a few weeks later I am having Bipolar symptoms off the chart. My husband even disputes the Bipolar diagnosis because he says I have shown no previous signs of bi polar UNTIL I was put on the Seroquel and Mirtazipine. In all seriousness my brain is seriously messed up, I absolutely have no idea who I am anymore, I am doing this and conducting myself weirdly in situations that just wouldn’t normally go down. Sorry to be graphic but I just want sex all the time. I constantly feel high, but agitated if I cant do what I want. I feel like I cant stop, The relationship with my small children, I feel is horrible. Pervious to this I was an excellent mum, loving caring, patient. Now I have no patience and rarely want to be around them because I don’t feel a bond and I hate to say it but their voices are like a drilling in my brain. I am just no good for them right now. I hate myself for it, hate who I have become and want me back. I have had no low moods yet, like hopelessness or whatnot, just serious agitation and all the negatives that come with that. I said to my partner I feel like a squashball in a squash court being smacked about the place at high speed with little to no control over where I go and what I do, there’s an errie driving force called Mirtazipine and I want it gone. Saw a psychiatrist a couple of weeks ago who said get of the Seroquel it is really bad stuff. If im not having problems sleeping, which I’m not then ditch it, so I did that immediately with only gastro side effects I think. I cannot remember what normal me feels like any more, I may be having side effects or it could be the quick withdrawal from Paroxatine, who knows. So again off I trot to the doc ( I get a good doc this time Very thorough) and she agrees the medication is making my bipolar 2 worse and we have now made a plan to come off it altogether. Although the original depression may come back L - full circle with no accomplishment only shear devastation.
  20. Hope I'm posting in the right place.... In a nutshell: Prescribed Seroquel fast-acting about 8 years ago for insomnia. I also had waking dreams or what some call night terrors. Some night auditory hallucinations. A couple years later a psych diagnosed me Bipolar 1 w/ psychotic features (due to the nightmares, etc.). For the past 5 years I've been on a cocktail of Lithium, Duloxetine, Methylphenidate and Lamictal. I have tried numerouse times to get off Seroquel because of many side-effects, mostly being fatigue, weight gain, tummy pains and headaches. If I go 24 hours without a dose I vomit for hours, no sleep, anxiety, I want to die. A year ago my eye doctor was surprised to find that I have Lattice Degeneration. The last few months my eyes have become blurry at times, pressure, they don't feel right. I see flashes sometimes and never seem in focus, even with my latest prescription. I am going off this med ASAP. The doc told me to go from 200mg to 150. I cut the pill from 200 to 100mg last night. I slept fairly well. I'm anxious, my eyes hurt as usual, and I feel like I've been permanently poisoned. I happened upon your forum and saw an article about a woman who attributed her macular degeneration to Seroquel. If this is likely the cause, I want to go to a law firm and file a lawsuit. I'm scared to death to go through withdrawals, but I want off now. Any support is appreciated. I plan to stay on 100mg for the next week with my husband close by. I will also check in with doc. Seroquel fine print says that withdrawals usually subside after a week. Is it something I should just get through? Has anyone else heard about Seroquel and eye problems? I'm very scared as the eye doc was perplexed at why I had such pronounced tears in my retinas at age 37. I'm going to the eye doctor in early August. Also, I intend to stay on the other meds as usual until off Seroquel and will probably stay on Lithium. thanks
  21. Hi All, I'm joining SA as a way to give and receive support as I work my way out of 14 years of poly-drug treatment for a "severe mental illness" diagnosed after I was involuntarily hospitalized in an extreme state in 2001. When I was released from the hospital, I was on Seroquel and Depakote, constipated, confused, sad and dopey. I slept all the time, gained weight, my hair fell out. Deemed in the depression cycle of bipolar disorder, I was prescribed Celexa (terrible headaches and nausea), then Effexor (caused me to lose consciousness after exercising), then Welbutrin. Lamictal and trileptal were added, Depakote taken away, Neurontin tried for awhile, stopped, all to "stabilize" my "mood". A good career and high salary were history. For 2 1/2 years, I could barely function. My history of previous hospitalizations and mother's suicide 6 years prior made my SSDI claim sail through. I lost the ability to socialize or feel comfortable into public. I could blank out and hit the ground if someone startled me or trapped me. Six years ago, I started using a trained service dog for tasks related to PTSD (protect my body space and assist me out of dissociative episodes). That assistance allowed me to get off the seroquel and start doing things outside my home. In 2013, coincidental with starting a part time job, I had an access challenge that involved the police. My anxiety went over the top. Psychiatrist prescribed Seroquel, then Klonopin to deal with that, but I had to come off the Temazepam to take the Klonopin. I hated Klonopin and wasn't sleeping. Psychiatrist said, "If 'we' take you off the Welbutrin, maybe you won't have so much anxiety." I realized all along he had been prescribing additional drugs to treat side effects. He had added Sertraline to the Welbutrin on a couple of occasions and insisted I go on that before coming off the Welbutrin, which I did. Sertraline made me miserable. I decided to stop taking it after 1 month. I had gone back on the Temazepam for sleep, but once off the Welbutrin, didn't need that, either. By April, 2014, I was off everything but Lamictal, Trileptal and Levothyroxine (thyroid). I felt like a different person, awake! I could think! Wow. My skin cleared up. I started enjoying life and others started noticing how different my energy was. I fired the psychiatrist and approached my primary care doc to help me taper off Lamictal and Trileptal (the only two psych drugs left). Since a hidden study (not released until after the Lamictal's patent expired), showed it no more effective than placebo for bipolar depression, I started with that first. I did 10% taper until I got to half. Then did 10% taper of the half, cutting back every 2-3 weeks. Two weeks after my last dose of Lamictal, I started to slip into an altered state. Contributing factors, IMO: 1) Lamictal and trileptal have a synergistic effect. Lamictal increases the dosage of trileptal by about 40%. Coming off lamictal was like tapering off both; 2) In altered states 5 times (first in 1974), I was always locked up and drugged, and never able to naturally resolve the process; 3) The 20th anniversary of my mother's suicide approached. The unresolved grief, numbed out by so many years of drugs, blindsided me; 4) I didn't sleep for 5 days; and 5) Given what I'm reading here, there may have been some delayed withdrawal effects in the mix. Fortunately, loving friends stayed with me, helping me avoid the trauma of lock up. I've never been a danger to myself or others. I needed sleep. My primary doc prescribed temazepam. This time, it worked poorly. I had to take 3X what I'd taken before and it wore off within 3 hours. I'm now using medical marijuana to sleep. That works better than anything else I've tried (other than the seroquel which created a walking coma, not to mention the cholesterol soaring). I'm concerned about the anticholinergic effects of the drugs I've taken, including the 600 mgs Trileptal I'm still taking. With a family history of Alzheimer's, I do not want to add any more fuel to that potential. I plan to start tapering off the trileptal this coming week. Thanks to all of you for being here.
  22. Hi, everyone. I'm new to this forum and so glad I found it because now I'm starting to understand what's wrong with me and that there are others like me. But I'm also horrified at the seriousness and uncertainness of all of this. I'm also kind of angry at myself for taking myself off of medication without knowing how to do it properly. My story is long, but just skip to the end for the question I have. See my signature for drug history. In July 2013, I took myself off of Wellbutrin and Seqroquel. The Wellbutrin i basically stopped cold turkey (I believe I cut my dose in half and took it for 1 week before I just stopped.) I didn't notice any withdrawal effects for the Wellbutrin. The Seroquel was hard to wean myself off of. At first I tried taking it every 2 days but had withdrawal symptoms (nausea, runny nose). So then over the next 6-7 weeks, I tried tapering it by cutting up the pills I had left. I started at 200mg, then took 150mg for 3 days, then 100mg for 2 weeks, 50mg for 2 weeks, 25mg for~2 weeks then stopped. Basically I reduced by 50% every 2 weeks, and I now realize I did it all wrong. About 2 months after my last dose, I awoke suddenly one night with severe nausea and then shaking, shortness of breath, stuffy nose and insomnia. (It is possible I was launched into panic by noticing initial symptoms and knowing that I had no one home to help me). Over the next days it felt like by chest and nasal passages/sinuses tightened up, making it feel very hard to breathe. I went to 2 doctors--1 gave me antibiotics with a diagnosis of possible mild bronchitis after hearing slight rattling in my lungs, and the other gave me a nasal steroid spray with a diagnosis of allergies after noticing a lot of fluid in my ears. Neither helped. Symptoms gradually improved (except for still feeling like I had bad allergies) from September 2013-December 2013, until they started getting worse mid-December. For a couple weeks I noticed I was getting sharp jolt-like chest pains. Then things got dramatically worse Christmas Eve. Again, it is possible anxiety launched my body into full-blown panic. After 24 hours of feeling like I couldn't breathe and sharp chest pains, I went to the ER. They thought it was basic anxiety and wanted to put me back on some kind of meds, but I refused, by this time with a suspicion my symptoms were related to the meds I was on and never wanting to take them again. Things were really bad (I hardly slept at all for a few weeks and felt like I couldn't breathe for months). I have been slowly recovering since my rebound symptoms in December 2013. I still feel bad, just less bad. My question is: after doing some reading (especially http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=cache:bYx3vNZH3IUJ:http://www.jptcp.com/cjcp_04-032_e69-r101631%2Btardive+insomnia&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&&ct=clnk ), it seems that rebound symptoms do not go away unless the original medication is restarted. After 1 1/2 years of being off the med(s), do I restart them and then taper off them correctly? Or would going back just mess with my system more and jeopardize the progress I have made? My deepest gratitude for anyone who can empathize or point me in the right direction. Peace to all of you.
  23. Hello, Ive been on effexor xr 150 mg and 50 mg seroquel. Im trying to taper off all meds with all the research ilve done and what my pdoc tells me of the ill effects of long term use of these meds. Im tapering off seroquel with aid of doctor right now as the first med. For about 3 weeks ive been taking 50mg then next day then 25mg then 50mg and so forth. I literally starting expirerince bad insomnia the day after i went to see him for follow up. The last two days ive gotten like 2-3 hours sleep each night. Has anyone taken serqoeuel for a long time and how did you taper off of it with expreiencing sever w/d symtomps like insominia?
  24. Thanks so much for this forum and all of the information here! I've been on psych meds for almost 20 years. Eventually, I'll add my history in bits. Even the last 2 years of my experience is a lot to cover. I started a multi-med taper about a year and a half ago. Seroquel, Trazodone, Perphenazine, Cogentin and Trazodone. Today, I wanted to start with a hard lesson in humility and respect for these drugs that are carelessly marketed to the unhappy and anxious between episodes of Law and Order as the answer to all of our problems. Don't get me started on my Conspiracy Theory about that combination of advertising. After quick initial drops (I'll talk about in later posts), I've been pretty good about doing a slow taper, rushing it a bit as tolerated every three to six weeks, but one med at a time. I've had some withdrawal symptoms along the way, but would quickly bump back up and they'd resolve. I've tapered down to 6mg of Trazadone from 200mg. I wishfully thought I could simply drop the 6mg without a further taper. I was hoping I could be one of those folks. It's such a little amount, right? Everything I've read here has told me No, but nothing speaks better than learning the hard way. I tried to drop the last 6mg last night. Within 6 hours of missing my dose, I woke up in a sweat, full body akathisia, racing heart and a horrible feeling of panic I've all felt before when I've completely forgotten a 200mg dose. So I got up and took the dose which mostly resolved it, but I do have residual issues I know will take a few days to shake off. I am definitely one of those who will have more trouble tapering the last tiny little bit than I did at higher doses. It's shocking to me how powerful the reaction is at such a seemingly small dose. It horrifies me that I'm more aware of this even being a possibility than my psychiatrist is. I've often concerned myself with why this is, why the last tiny bit is a harder road than, in my case, the first large jumps. But the more I find out, the more I realize how simplified our understanding of how these drugs affect us is. This is how I see the journey of my med taper:
  25. Hello Everyone Just introducing myself to you all. Im completely new to this kind of thing, so bear with my training wheels! Hope I've posted this in the right spot.... Hoping to find information, support, validation and shared experiences here. Have hit a seriously low point on my journey, and feeling (almost) ready to admit defeat. I would so appreciate any insights, experiences or information you can share. So far I have found the site very informative and a source of great comfort in a strange kind of way - it has certainly helped me feel a little less alone, and alot more validated. Here's a little about me and my Effexor XR/Seroquel NIGHTMARE. Cheers PoisonPills ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Drugged with Prozac by mother/family doctor in 1984 aged 14 for being moody, emotional, angry and depressive. Never been the same. Decades of trialling on/off medications followed including Zoloft, Paxil, Lithium, Cipramil, Celexa, Lexapro, Seroquel and others to treat "anxiety/depression". None of which I tolerated. Significant memory loss from those years. Eventually lived medication free until events 9 years ago pushed me into severe anxiety/depression, and I returned to ADs. Big mistake. Have spent the last 8 years in the care (and I use that term loosely) of a psychiatrist who prescribed Effexor XR (doses ranging from 37.5mg to 300mg) with Seroquel (doses ranging from 25mg to 500mg) as a stabiliser. He routinely raised/lowered large dosages causing significant and incapacitating side effects - although often delayed - and therefore dismissed by psychiatrist as "imagination". I did have some improvement for a while. But as time progressed, I began to decline significantly; experience symptoms more intensely; and developed additional features/characteristics over the years including speech disruption (ie forgetting words/what Im saying literally mid-sentence); an electrical brain zap sensation; suicidal feelings; severe panic/anxiety/agorophobia/terror/dread; obsessiveness; light/sound sensitivity; skin flushing and staying red; difficulty regulating/controlling internal body temperature (sweats/shivers); complete inability to cope with stress/change/low resilience; spontaneous uncontrollable rage; paranoia; fantasising; excessive and spontaneous crying episodes; mood swings; tics/twitches; extreme fatigue; inability to function in daily life; food sensitivities; digestive/absorption problems; shocking sleep disturbance/nightmares and mania. It wasn't until I started researching and looking for my own answers that the "picture" of my collective symptoms and their causes began to emerge. The psychiatrist treating me later admitted he thought I was "faking" in order to get disability, and added that he thought I was too "open to suggestion" and being "influenced" by what I was reading/researching on the subject. He rubbished all the information I brought to him. When openly confronted with my extreme level of decline under his care, he nonchalantly replied, "I don't have all the answers". No longer being treated by said psychiatrist. To this day, I STILL have no clear diagnosis; or reason as to why I was drugged so extensively (or so long). When pressured, psychiatrist stated I had a vague "anxiety/depressive" illness with only some features of "personality disorder" and "bipolar disorder" due to mania/mood swings (which, incidentally, I never experienced prior to being drugged with SSRI's). My life has been utterly decimated by this experience. I remain unable to function in daily life, or maintain relationships, let alone work. I am literally staring down the barrel of homelessness at present. My medical team has utterly failed me, and I despair at the lack of local sources of support who will validate my experience. TAPERING HISTORY Began reducing Effexor from 225mg mid 2013. Got Effexor down to 75mg. Seroquel down to 25mg without much difficulty. Tapered in 75mg intervals over 4-8 weeks with a few uncomfortable but manageable side effects. Then reduced Effexor dosage to 37.5mg and held for 3 weeks, with problems emerging. Forced to "cold turkey" due to financial reasons. Hit with shocking (some instant/some delayed) discontinuation symptoms, and remain completely incapacitated. Its been 5 weeks since 11 February 2014. Symptoms include speech disruption; brain zap; suicidal feelings; panic/anxiety/agorophobia/terror/dread; obsessiveness; light/sound sensitivity; impaired ability to cope with stress/change; spontaneous uncontrollable rage; paranoia; fantasising; excessive and unexplainable crying episodes; mood swings; extreme fatigue; food sensitivities; digestive/absorption problems; shocking sleep disturbance/nightmares and mania. Seroquel now back up to between 100mg and 500mg a night due to anxiety and severe sleep disturbance. Recently commenced taking Organic Cold Pressed Flaxseed Oil; Magnesium (2000mg daily) and B Complex/Vitamin C but too early to tell if they are beneficial, although I have noticed significantly less muscle tension.
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