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  1. ShakeyJerr

    Why did you stop the meds?

    I'm putting this question out there, partly as a reminder to myself, hopefully as a help to others who are struggling... I am in such physical and emotional pain these past few weeks. It is getting unbearable. My wife and I are trying to stick to the commitment not to go back on the meds. But boy, do I think I want to at times. Especially right now. So I'm here to remind myself why I stopped the psych-drug merry-go-round. I hope it helps you too. And I would love to hear your "why" story. It will be encouraging to all of us, I think. Anyway, I went off of the meds because I didn't like who I was as a person, and more and more I got the feeling that the meds were a big part of the reason. I was an angry person all of the time. And selfish. I would give in to rage - even in the most inappropriate situations to do so (like my daughter's 7th birthday party, for instance). I treated my wife horribly. I would go off the rails, feel like killing myself, and take handfuls of the meds at once (wow - I never admitted that ever before). I would fantasize about hanging myself (even though I would never have the guts to do so). And as these things were happening - especially over my last year before going off the meds - there were more and more times where there was a part of me inside of my mind saying "stop it, stop that crazy person" - as if the real me was trapped inside of this raging body that had been taken over by another mind. I had to find out who God created me to be. I even needed to find out what a real relationship with God was like. Turns out that He created me as a pretty nice guy. I'm loving and caring and helpful now (well, as helpful as I can be given the immense physical pain the withdrawal has caused me, and the anxiety that keeps me from running errands some of the time). I was even more engaged in activities during the window as I tapered (completely incorrectly and too fast) and for the first 3 months after I was drug free. And that is part of the problem. I can remember a time during the taper, towards the end, when I was in a "sweet" spot - where there was no withdrawal syndrome, and 90% of the time I was a great guy. I keep fantasizing about going back to that "sweet" spot. But I don't think going back on the drugs after being off for over 4 months would really work - and it could cause actual harm (I fear, for instance, the suicide bug that bites some people during the early days of psycho-med use). Or, it could just cause me to go back down the rabbit-hole of using the psych-meds - and that will bring back evil me. So I'm writing this to remind myself why I quite the psych-go-round. I hope it helps remind some of you too. SJ
  2. On Effexor (Venlafaxine) since Fall 2016; taking 200 mg for the past 6 months or so. I've decided to stop the effexor, as I feel that it is no longer working. I picked up a prescription for 25 mg effexor yesterday, in order to taper by 25 mg every 3-4 days (as recommended by my psychiatrist). 9/26/18 was my first night of 175 mg; I felt okay the next morning, if not a bit dehydrated. However, over the course of the day, particularly in the evening, I began to feel out of it, naseous, and just weird (for lack of a better description). That being said, I also had not eaten much that day; however, I've never felt "weird" while not having eaten, as I did 9/27. I will continue with the 175 mg dose for the next few days to determine whether the symptoms were due to lack of food or effexor. I’m terrified to taper off it it. I’ve been reading about it, and the stories of tapering off are terrifying! However, I still read them just so I know the possibilities. What kind of tapering experience have you had? Was it good or bad? Has anyone tapered off with zero side effects? Thanks!
  3. Hi, guys. My depression started over 15 years ago and I came to the point when I wanted to end up my life, but I've failed. So my journey from one shrink to another began. I've found a good one when my depression was at my worse. I wasn't happy about taking any medications, because the lack of knowledge in psychiatry field (I'm a nurse with some practice in mental facilities as well and I'm not happy about the things I've seen there nor the general thinking from many doctors and other medical stuff. I was also amazed about the lack of knowledge and common sense in them as well). My depression was so bad that I gave up and started using paroxetine. I had some side effects, but withdrawal after few months was much worse. The vertigo and headaches were horrible. And depression was still there in it's best. I was then on few other SSRI and SNRI, none of them worked (fluoxetine, paroxetine, sertraline, escitalopram, tianeptine, venlafaxine, duloxetine), but all of them gave me their own special withdrawal symptoms. At least I knew I wasn't getting sugar pills. In the meantime I also developed panic attacks and severe anxiety. After few years I suggested switcing to bupropion and I was getting better for the first time. I was also taking clonazepam the whole time. I'm feeling fine for over 4 years now but I had to wait with taper due to some other pain related medical condition. I was adviced to start taper clonazepam first (I started taper 4 months ago). What a mistake! I was on 2mg daily and managed to taper to 1mg. Than I suggested my GP and shrink to taper bupropion as well, because it was making taper heavier and none of them were happy with my suggestion. I have my GP on my side now after seeing me in really bad condition a couple of times. Right now I'm taking 0,875mg of clonazepam and 300mg of gabapentin (started a week ago and I'm not on final dose which will be around 600-900mg) because of my pain related condition. It also helps with the withdrawal. I'm well aware that it has a WD of it's own, it's a risk I'm willing to pay considering the current options. I took my last dose of bupropion today and I will give myself a little brake until the end of this month. In january I'll continue to taper clonazepam. I'm not a native english speaker and I appologize for potential weird (ab)use of grammar. I'm sure you've seen worse due to my current taper I'm also not very good with words.
  4. Hello everybody, This is my first post here. I'm feeling terrible right now and could really use some help. Long story short, I reduced my Paxil way too fast. I was taking Paxil 20mg and was reducing it once a week by 2.5 mg. I was coping okay until I reduced from 10 to 7.5 at which point withdrawal started about 5 days to a week later and severe withdrawal began about two weeks at 7.5mg. After two weeks of 7.5mg and the onset of severe withdrawal I upped my dose to 10mg. Felt a bit better, but the withdrawal did not disappear. One week later upped to 15. Still not feeling better, but my symptoms did improve a bit for a time. I stayed on this dose for another just short of 3 weeks. This brings us to two days ago when I started feeling the withdrawal symptoms worst yet again and decided to go back up to 20mg. Today is my third dose of 20mg and I feel terrible today with withdrawal symptoms. Please help. I thought that the withdrawal symptoms would disappear quickly after upping my dose of the drug. Is it unusual that it is taking me so long to stabilize again? It's been almost a month since I upped my dose, why am I not getting better? My withdrawal symptoms are: -extreme fatigue and lethargy -chills -very minor nausea and headache that comes and goes -anxiety Any help would be appreciated so very, very much.
  5. https://www.facebook.com/innercompassinitiative/?hc_ref=ARRdIIjHYzgACJg-XE4ALjq7mDuGx2nKOqs1uEG3SG5KNfs-cTophiNVJCkdIAwSLro
  6. Hi, I tapered down from 75mg (already down from 150mg a year ago) in the last few months. Took my last pill last saturday. The symptoms are ok to handle, but the worst thing is the itching pain in my legs and arms. It feels like there is not enough blood circulation. I have to keep moving them, mostly at night. As soon as I lay down it is unbearable and I can’t sleep. Does anyone have tips or knows what this is? I tried taking asperine, tiger balm, massage, sauna... I also have very low muscle strenght and endurance. I can only walk for about ten minutes and then exhausted. Maybe also related to blood circulation and O2 in the blood? thanks,
  7. Hi everyone, Very happy to have found this forum, as I feel my doctor has been a bit too aggressive with medication changes recently and I am not sure what to do. As history, I was put on 10 mg of Zyprexa when hospitalized for a psychotic episode Spring 2017. That was followed by 10 mg of Lexapro for depression and anxiety. When I later had insomnia the Lexapro was increased to 20 mg. I gradually reduced the Zyprexa to 2.5 mg with the support of my doctor. I recently moved across the country and began seeing a new psychiatrist for general support but also due to continued depression, anxiety and a new bout of insomnia. She had me stop the Zyprexa 2.5 mg and replaced it with Seroquel (same class, more sedating), but I had a paradoxical reaction to the Seroquel (has also happened to me with every sleep med), so we discontinued it and never resumed the Zyprexa, so I am withdrawing. She also had me change from Lexapro to Zoloft to try to assist with sleep about 2.5 weeks ago--stopped Lexapro and started Zoloft at 25 mg with intent to quickly increase to 100 (equivalent to Lexapro 20). I immediately started having palpitations which only increased as I increased the dosage to 100, insomnia worsened, so we reduced it back to 25. The palpitations continued (though not as badly) and I developed allergy type symptoms (sneezing, cough, runny nose) and increased anxiety. I felt I was reacting to the Zoloft, so we decided after less than 2 weeks to switch me back to the Lexapro--a known entity. We did a quick taper of the Zoloft (12.5 mg one day, nothing the next) then resumed Lexapro at 10 mg for 2 days five days ago. My doctor advised me to decide whether to increase it more thereafter depending on how I felt. I was still having palpitations at 2 days on 10 mg Lexapro and thought perhaps I was having Lexapro withdrawal from the change attempt and low dose of Zoloft so increased to 15 mg, have been there for 3 days. Palpitations and anxiety are worse (I have had them medically checked and my heart is ok) and then I found this site and realized I have probably been withdrawing from Lexapro over the last 3 weeks and reinstating at a high-ish dose might not be the best idea. I have also taken 1 mg of Ativan a few times in desperation to relieve anxiety and insomnia, but do not want to become dependent on it. I am lost here! Not sure whether to go up or down on the Lexapro (intuitively down feels best, with the possibility of increasing later). I would be grateful for any suggestions. Thanks so much for reading!
  8. Hello! Seeking advice and support having discovered how dependent I am after over 20 yrs of taking paroxetine. Withdrawal symptoms of extreme sustained insomnia, excessive sweating and intense anxiety are making life unbearable and I am horrified at how ignorant I have been about my meds. I now realise GP probably made things worse by suggesting a change to mirtazapine before returning to paroxetine. GP suggested back to 20mg but I couldn't bare the thought of possibly having to repeat the withdrawal so decided on ½ dose (10mg). Not sure if I've done the right thing as still have severe symptoms after 7 days. I now realise all these changes were far too fast but do I hang on to this dose to see if I stabilise and how long do I give it?? I'm just beginning to realise that this is likely to be life changing....not what I'd planned at 58....as may well loose my job and it's a huge strain on family and friends. It's confusing and frightening. See gp on Thurs and feel it would be good to have an idea of what I should be aiming for re medication. He gave me propranolol (a beta blocker) for the anxiety but I've since discovered it could be contributing to the insomnia. Has anyone got any experience of that? With thanks and hoping to be able to share experiences!
  9. Hey everyone! I really need some answers because I've looked everywhere to try and find one answer which can relate to my question but sadly to no avail. I was on 20mg Cipralex for 7 years due to general anxiety disorder. I was feeling better last year so decided this year in February I would start tapering and weaning off. It all went great until roughly 7 weeks ago when I went from 5mg to 2.5mg. Withdrawal has hit me hard and I have been off work since then. My question is basically, after now 7 weeks is it safe to go back up to 5mg from 2.5? I felt fine on 5mg hence me wanting to move back up to it. And how long will it take for the WD symptoms to go away or just for me to feel better cos currently I'm just having a hard time functioning. I'm afraid of everything basically. Thank you for any reply
  10. This sounds a little ridiculous. But it's almost like my depth perception is so messed up that I can't see the wall out of my peripheral vision so I'm constantly running the side of my body into walls.
  11. JanCarol

    Hyperbaric oxygen treatment

    I'm not saying that it is, but what if it were? I was watching videos and reading articles from MIA about the evils of ECT. I wanted to update and figure out my views because I've been so depressed at times that I would have accepted a tradeoff: 10% of my memories and functioning just for the pain to end. The evil tradeoff of neuroleptics and ECT. I remember being called by a friend, a father, and he was in tears over his 18 yo daughter's episode and hospitalization, as he told me "They want to give her ECT." And I, in my ignorance, said what mainstream medicine was saying at the time (and still): "ECT isn't like it used to be. It can be effective. Ultimately you will have to decide. There can be memory loss, but it can 'reboot the brain.'" Yes. I said that. So I have an interest in getting it right, how bad, how dangerous, what effects, and, the perverse one: HOW many shocks of HOW high over HOW LONG a period? (this always makes my heart sink) So I was thinking about ECT, and the "it's better now" phenomenon, supposedly improved by the use of anesthetics and oxygen. Then my brain leaped to Irving Kirsch and: A psych drug is no better than placebo (I mentioned this to my Pdoc who was quite flustered over drug info I was providing her that was going to change her practice - discontinuation of Reboxetine in the Australian market, and why - side effects, ineffective) A psych drug is no better than placebo. In one video I watched the psychologist said that there were studies done with "placebo" shocks. How does one do that, exactly? Then I thought about all the elements, and lit on OXYGEN. What if people who were withdrawing had access to oxygen, and could take 10 minutes 2x a day. Flooding the brain, cleansing it out, cleansing the blood. I wasn't even thinking about the fancy, heavy duty, ever popular hyperbaric chamber oxygen. I was just talking about a tank like Grandma used to have after her heart attack. Just a little restful time with the mask. It might teach you some mindfulness and stillness, as you sat with your tank. It might improve your organ function, including your brain. It might even help you emote (emote means: to move, or, take those feelings and MOVE them instead of sitting on them, churning with them, etc.). And here's the clincher: HOW could it be harmful? I mean compared to all of the other therapies that are offered now. I was thinking specifically about psych drug withdrawal, but if that is successful, maybe it could expand to depression? Or help with something like PTSD as combined with other therapies - it may even make a difference in autism or schizophrenia (I know, but they medicate for autism, too) Has it ever been studied before? I'm not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, surely someone smart has thought of it? Tried it? Maybe I've just wasted your time, but I was intrigued by this thought and don't know where else I could share it. JC
  12. JanCarol

    Making Activist Art

    On BlueBalu's thread, BTDT wrote: OMG B! I just started a play tonight! I was inspired by attending a theatre festival this weekend, and so many of the plays addressed real issues, like relationships, inner demons, and feminism and taking control of your life. In one play, Florence Nightingale told her cohorts to "stop taking the pills, they are only meant to control you!" (and she, Maggie Thatcher, and Jane Austen escaped the asylum!) I thought I would start a play about withdrawal. I've never written a play before, so I will need to get help from some experts, but I can visualize how it will be. It would be best to condense it into a very potent 1-act play, and might be a way to get our voices heard in a broader audience. I'm basing the characters on composites of people here - one depressed, one anxious (and abused), one "psychotic" (I call it Emergency), one chronic pain, and an Alto-like character (again, composite, of course). It will show 5 years in these peoples' lives, and at the end, they will meet on the internet and start recovery. It shows the drug rep and the doctor, and I've just written the part where everyone gets their first prescription. The next scene, a year later, people will be manifesting side effects, and get additional prescriptions. The scene after that will be 5 years, and the characters will be on multiple scripts with debilitating effects, but the pseudo-Alto character will have figured out withdrawal, and will be helping the others to take charge of their conditions. They will be talking on the internet - with some of them talking over coffee like we do here in Brisbane. It would be nice if I could bring the emotion that a play like "Love Letters" brings, where the actors read their internet posts aloud, and their stories come alive for all the others listening. The challenge is to make the characters real and engaging, to invoke the caring of the audience, and to present the material without being "preachy." To raise awareness. I have 2 playwright/directors in mind - one did a searing expose of self injury (one of her early works - confronting, not very successful - but it sure had us talking) - and the other has done plays about "encounter groups" and "body dysmorphia / anorexia disorder issues at a lingerie sales party." Both are activist-aware, and while they cannot write the play for me - I must write what I know - they can guide me to getting it published and up and running. And hopefully, making it a good script. And if I'm good enough, perhaps one will consent to cast and direct it for me! Additionally, if it is a one-act, it will tour the "festival circuit," which means that potentially thousands of people could see the performances, where if it's a full-length play, it might never be seen, except maybe at one local theatre. I know nothing about writing plays. But I hope to have a rough draft ready in 2 weeks to show these ladies at the next festival. Btdt - you are a prophet!
  13. I started citalopram about 10 years ago at 40 mg. I have spent the last four years tapering off. I was at 10 mg. for about 2 months, and then at 5 mg for about two weeks. I felt ok, so then I stopped completely. I was ok for about a week after my last dose, but then started having really, really bad irritability. I have no patience and have a lot of trouble sleeping. At night, when I'm trying to sleep, I feel very jittery. I'm assuming it took a week to get it all out of my body. So I've just read about reinstating it. I just made up the liquid solution. I thought maybe I'd start taking 3 mg each night. Wondering what everyone else thinks. Should I start back lower? If I knew this irritability would be short tem, I might try to wait it out, but it's been five days and I'm having a lot of difficulty. If I start back on 3 mg, what should my taper schedule be? How long should it take. I'm also taking 600 mg. gabpentin and low dose naltrexone. Not sure if that makes a difference.
  14. My name is Chris. Long time lurker, first time poster.. I am currently tapering off of Nardil after 3 years of use. This may make my story a bit unique as it is an old MAOI antidepressant which is not used very often these days. However, my path to Nardil was littered with various SSRI's, Tricyclics, and other psych meds. As rare as MAOIs are, I was still hoping to find some guidance or experiences related to MAOI withdrawal. I'm bummed how little information is here or anywhere on the internet. I attempted to taper off of Nardli last summer going from 45mg to 0mg in about 3 months. I felt this was a slow enough taper considering it was much slower than the nonsensical tapering schedules most doc's suggest. However, compared to the 10% taper suggested here it was pretty quick. I made it about 2 months before going back on Nardil when I started having panic attacks on a regular basis. Back in April, after being completely fed up with the Nardil side effects, I decided to try again. My original plan was to taper off the Nardil and back on to a newer class AD. Although I never really liked the SSRIs/SNRsI, their favorable side effect profiles vs the MAOIs was tempting. However, in the last month or so I have decided that I want to make another run at getting off these meds for good. This time around my taper has been even faster than the last attempt. The only reason for this is because my plan was to get off the Nardil and onto something different. I have gone from 45mg to 5mg in just over 2 months. Things were going alright until the last couple of weeks. My moods have been all over the place. I'll be feeling pretty good for a few hours, and then I'll be super depressed and anxious, verging on panic attacks. That brings us to today... I have decided to reinstate my Nardil at a higher dose and then follow the 10% formula here every 2-4 weeks. I am going to bump up to 1 pill a day (15mg) and see how I feel. If I'm still struggling I will go up some more until I feel stable and then start the 10% taper plan. I am fortunate enough to have a Psychiatrist who is both honest and aware of the major problems with the psychiatric/pharmaceutical industry. She's no expert on AD withdrawal, but shes very wiling to work with me as I go through this. I also have been sober from drugs/alcohol for 8 years and am very involved in the recovery community. This community will be an invaluable support group during this journey. I look forward to meeting you all and am greatly appreciative of any suggestions or guidance you can give! Note: I am also on Gabapentin 1000mg a day. This is a whole other nightmare. I was originally given it as a "safe" anxiety medication when I first got sober 8 years ago. I have become completely dependent on it and have to take it 3x a day or will start having withdrawals within a couple hours of missing my dose. Like most of these meds, it can be extremely difficult to stop and has it's own miserable withdrawal symptoms. I dream to one day be free from it, but I can only work on one thing at a time.
  15. I recently weaned off of Citalopram after 14 years of use. Based on what I've read here it was an aggressive weaning. I was at 40mg, went to 20 mg for 4 weeks, 10 mg for 10 weeks, 5 mg for 8 weeks. This was under the direction of a general practice physician. I have now been off for 7 weeks. I am past physical withdrawal symptoms of head buzzing, etc. but I am really struggling emotionally. Lots of crying, everything tinged with darkness, anxiety, near panic. I want to be normal. I want to be happy again. I only got off the drugs to remove dependency, sick of buzzes if I missed a pill, felt like I had lost a mental edge I had prior to the drug. I need help, I have a psychiatrist appt in 4 weeks. I see a therapist, but need expertise with these drugs. Should I resume the drugs? St. John's Wort? Anything else? Is there a quick fix? Do I just tough it out?
  16. My history is long and I've tried many medications. I'm 29. I was on Zoloft age 16-26. Switched to cymbalta age 27-29. Added wellbutrin. Got stuck on cymbalta. I was at 90mg and managed to get down to 60mg but it was terrible. Needed to plan my wedding so I left it at 60mg. it's been over a year and I'm still at 60mg. My Dr said to switch to trintrellix 5mg cold turkey from cymbalta 60mg because there wouldn't be any issues. Day 1 and I'm having withdrawal symptoms. With research I already think trintrellix sounds like bad withdrawal symptoms. I'm also on gabapentin. I'm also on supplements that have been helping with my anxiety: Ashwaganda, lemon balm, nettle, and b12.
  17. i am currently two weeks into withdrawing from Venlafaxine 225 mg ER and i am in excruciating pain. i am on prozac for the aid but it barely helps. I feel trapped by this, I can't work and my psych refuses to write a note excusing me due to this so i have lost my job. I am constantly out of it now and forget where i am frequently. I have horrible light sensitivity and can't stop sweating. I was a drug addict for several years and have gone through severe withdrawals from narcotics in rehab and this is very similar if not worse. My brain doesn't feel like mmine and I don't feel supported by the doctor who i should be able to trust. feeling very lost right now and need suggestions
  18. Hi! My name is Erik, i live in Norway and i have been using Escitalopram Activis since December, 19. 2017. I was at 20mgs when i started tapering. I started tapering off the drug a few weeks ago, i went 5 mgs down each time, using about 3-4 days per taper. 2 days ago i quit the medicine alltogether. (Stupid i know). My doctor told me i should use 4-5 weeks per 5 mgs. Today i felt jittery, had some minor brain zaps? (I think, i never understood what the zaps were). Reading online i had found people saying they had quit cold turkey no problem, no stress so i thought it would be ok. Then today i read that you might die from quitting the medicine and that it might induce braindamage. Panicing i found this site and read about reinstating (https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/) I decided to start at 5 mgs again and i took a 5 mg pill. I hope i did not make a mistake. I am abit nervous now and feel pretty stupid. I hope i haven't ruined myself. -Erik
  19. Hello! Here’s my psychosis and medication history; so.. i had psychosis which was caused by extremely heavy drinking. i had meds (latest risperdal) for.. 10months and they made me a zombie 😕 i quit risperdal about 4 months ago and i started feeling great little by little, until someday i felt totally back to myself! (Normally i’m talkative, say jokes and laugh alot) uh oh so lately (2weeks) i’ve been feeling myself little bit ”too good” like i’m in a super good mood of love and happiness and i’m super confident! (Nothing euphoric) but *zap* my mood can be killed so easily to super pissed off (like workmate not greeting me) but in these 2 weeks i have learned to drink coffee and smoking cigarettes so.. every day i drink about 5-10cups of coffee (i get usually too energenic) so it (coffe/cig) cause me this kind of energyboosts. I’m not psychically energic, but mentally too energic, my mind is racing like crazy! i’ll try to avoid coffee and cigs and alcohol from now on and i can already see that my mind is alot calmer.. (uh oh coffe/cig withdrawals are going to be hellish!) like i said i’hv been only mentally/emotionally energic (my mood is changing all the time!) but pychically (you know my bodyfunction) i am really LAZY! (Like i normally am) but when i’m alone, i’m super lazy! Even when in my head can make up great ideas and such but i have been reading about mania, i dont waste money or do all the rime something? Like i said, i’m lazy I have read the topic ”dealing with emotional spiral” and thats just the ways my mind is racing! I tried that sleeping habit about listening meditation music and it really helped and i slept within 10minutes! In these 2 weeks i have slept normally only once i didnt sleep at all (drank 10cups of coffee before going to sleep) but i’m still concerned if THIS IS BIPO/MANIA?? 😕
  20. Does anybody have experience with tapering off 5 mg of Lexapro? I have been on for 8 weeks and wish to come off.
  21. ADMIN NOTE I stumbled upon this and found it sensible. ("other addictions part" http://protractedbenzodiazepinewithdrawal.wordpress.com/2012/10/02/27-months/ It basically assess the agony of paws may lead to addictive behaviours (like computer, music, to name mine) which stimulate dopamine so as to make it through, and that in the long run it would possibly downregulate dopamine receptors and trigger/worsen/prolong anhedonia. What do you think about it? Is there any other people who are bound to some alienating addictive behaviours so as to ease the making through the day?
  22. Hi everyone I am new to this forum... thanks for taking the time to read my post, I am in need of some serious help here and I don't know what to do, I am sort of panicking so please excuse me but I really need help, I made a HUGE mistake and got myself on a drug I don't want, don't like and should have never been on, This drug is SAMe, I bought the genius brand off of Amazon because I stupidly read and trusted the reviews, "natural antidepressant" "safer than SSRI's" etc. bullsh*t! I hate to admit this but I was absolutely DUPED! This stuff is POWERFUL, and very bad in my opinion, stay away from this drug, please people, I am suffering badly right now and the worst part is the fear of not knowing what is being done to my body and mind... I have been taking this stuff for one month and 4 days, started taking it May 7th, 2018 (34 days ago) and in total I have consumed only 17 grams of SAMe in that time period, that is a total of 68 of the 250mg capsules, This is approximately 2/3 of the "one month supply" that the bottle claims but honestly I think they set the dose TOO HIGH. There were 100 pills and now there are only 32 of them left so I have taken 2/3 of the bottle which is 68 of these pills. At 250mg per pill that is 17 grams of SAMe. That is the TOTAL amount of this drug that I have ingested in my whole life and I hope it will be the last!!! Well the problems started about one week in, I was having these episodes on it which I now realize were the "manic episodes" that people talk about, no I am NOT bipolar!! I know about these ignorant and incorrect bipolar diagnoses that doctors give, they are just trying to blame the patient instead of the drug they put them on, so no I am not bipolar, but I was definitely having the manic episodes! I would get weird, bad feelings, thoughts of suicide, etc. Don't know how to describe it other than "manic episode" and man they are absolutely horrible... I wrongly attributed it to missing a dose or not taking enough, so instead of getting off this drug, I continued taking it to try to avoid the episodes, which was a big mistake... I don't know how much this matters, but also take Kratom everyday which I have been taking for over 18 months now, long before trying SAMEe, my body is quite used to the kratom, I have never had any bad effects from it, I maintain moderation in my doses and don't go overboard with it taking more and more like some people do. I hear about people on 40-60 grams/day of kratom which I think is absolutely nuts, I never go above 8-10g even on days of extreme binging, long car rides, etc... Right now I am on a strict 6 grams per day limit and comfortable there. So I would consider my Kratom use a habit but a controlled and enjoyable one. Well this all started because I wanted to try to quit Kratom, I tapered my Kratom from 6 - 10 grams per day all the way down to 2.5 grams per day, comfortably! I should have just jumped off right then! Or even stayed on it at that dose because I was feeling totally fine at that time!! Anyway I read a lot about SAMe in the reddit/r/kratom, I read that SAMe helps with Kratom withdraw so I got some and started taking it, I was just looking for an easy way out, but it actually made me INCREASE my kratom use! I'm not sure why, maybe because of the anxiety it causes but I didn't think too much of it, at first the SAMe made me feel good so I wanted to keep taking, I wasn't 100% sure the manic episodes were due to it but I was just being stupid, I can see now that of course they were, then just a few days ago I started reading online about a lot of other people having these episodes which confirmed it so I decided I have to stop this horrendous drug as fast as possible! I decided I would rather cold turkey it than try to taper, simply because I was starting to HATE the way it made me feel, and then being that I have consumed so little, only a 20 day supply, consumed in 34 days...I saw no reason I couldn't just hop off and get it over with! Today is my third day off of it and withdraw is setting in, I am very uncomfortable, ears are ringing. This is about all, no sweaty palms of heart palpations at this time, but this is bad enough! I feel like I got myself into a bad trap with this drug folks...now I don't know if I can continue this cold turkey or if I should get back on it and taper down!? I am reading about this 10% per month thing but HELL NO I am not going to spend 6 months trying to get off a drug I have only been taking for 34 days! Personally I think that would be a ridiculous plan as I have only put 17 grams of this crap into my body...doing the 10% per month would mean I would have to ingest another 60-100 grams of this stuff in total before feeling normal again...NO WAY! That's 5-6 times what I have already consumed!! I can't be that hooked... the other person on here, the woman (I think) that had really bad withdrawal from it, said she was taking 400mg per day for 3 months, I have not been taking it that long though my dose was higher! Please people, I don't know what to do, I don't like the way this stuff makes me feel ON it, I do not desire those effects whatsoever, and off it I am experiencing horrible withdrawals, so far they seem manageable what I am most scared of is long term damage, If it is only going to persist like this for a few days I can manage it, I have lots of kratom and phenibut, the phenibut helps but it is also very addictive and I don't want to take very much of it! An hour ago I took an extremely small dose of phenibut (150mg) just to take the edge off, it is working a little bit but I am still pretty uncomfortable... I'm so sorry for trying this drug guys. I was not even that depressed. I don't even really need an anti depressant I just thought it would make me feel better in life. Now I realize I have done some damage and really I'm just trying to repair myself as fast as possible. The ear ringing thing is going to drive me nuts if it goes on for too long... Ok so that is the explanation of what is happening, now I really have two questions: 1. Can I just continue with the cold turkey? I don't want to start taking 500mg again per day and taper down 10% per month...NO WAY! Continuing to take this stuff for even one more month would be BAD NEWS for me I DO NOT WANT IT! I want this stuff out of my system ASAP! So the question is with how little I have been taking it can I just jump off cold turkey? How much damage can this really cause? I still have the other 32 pills, perhaps I should take one pill per day for a week or two, THEN hop off? Any input is appreciated! 2. What is the long term scope of damage here? Weeks, months? Years? Don't tell me years. There's no way, I've taken so little of it, for such a short time... Please guys, I'm so sorry for taking this stuff, I just want to feel normal again, I'll kick all drugs after this except for the natural stuff (cannabis, kratom, maybe some kava every now and then.) But this drug is HORRIBLE, I have no clue how this is even an over the counter drug, what frickin' good does the FDA do anyway!? They ban cannabis but let this stuff get sold on Amazon...that is truly mind numbing to think about.... truly unbelievable...this is just one example of how FDA is truly corrupted and good for nothing...they are doing absolutely NOTHING to help the people... I'm sorry if I seem angry guys I'm just venting here and reaching out for help, please, help me figure this out and you'll have a friend for life, do I taper or hop off and how fast can I taper, and how bad is the damage if I hop off, Please do not try to get me to do this 10% per month thing, that is just not an option!!! And that would just make me worse! That would requiring consuming another 60-100 grams of this stuff JUST TO TAPER OFF, when I have only consumed 17 grams in it's entirety to begin with! No way! Anyway thanks for the help everyone, I really learned a very serious lesson from this...BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU TAKE! TAKE NO DRUG WITHOUT HEAVY CONSIDERATION OF IT'S LONG TERM EFFECTS!! I hope I make it through this and get back to normal with this new knowledge, I WILL NEVER MESS WITH ANY ANTI DEPRESSANT DRUGS AGAIN!!! Much love, Parker
  23. Hello, I am looking for some advice or success stories from other people who have been through a similar problem. Due to depression I was on 150mg sertraline for approx 2.5 years. As I felt I no longer needed to be on them I started the weaning process - dropped to 100 mg for 1 month, then 50mg for 1 month then 50mg every 2 days then every few days etc. I have now been off them completely for about 3 weeks. For the last 5-6 weeks I have experienced headaches dizziness and nausea with it becoming significantly worse over last week or 2. I hadn't even considered withdrawal until Dr at urgent care appt suggested it. He reckons I should go back on 50mg dose but I am loathed to do so as I have been off for while and weaned for so long. But I am also loathed to continue feeling like this. Has anyone been through similar? Can anyone shed any light on how long these symptoms will last? Is it worth going back on the sertraline or just battling through? I have been trying to get appt with my own gp but earliest is end of the week. Any advice in the meantime would be much appreciated.
  24. Lavender120884

    Lavender120884: Celexa 20mg

    Hi, As I am new to this forum I like to introduce myself. My name is Jennifer and I'm from Holland. I'm 33 years old. I have been on celexa for 17 years.. got forced by my parents when I was 15 and haven't been able to quit them since. Now I'm 3 weeks into weaning of again and it has been hell. I went from 20mg to 15mg and am planning to stay on 15mg for 3 months or at least till I'm stable again. I'm also planning to have fluods instead of pills so I can wean off more slowly as I feel I'm going too fast now. My withdrawal symptoms are: headaches, nausea, dizziness, fatigue, feeling numb, hard time spelling words, no apatite, panic attacks at night, severe neck pain. I hope I will do better soon..
  25. Hello, I have a 20 year history of antidepressant use following a breakdown. I have been on and off Citalopram and Sertraline which are the GP's 'go to' meds for most of their patients. However, about 5 years ago my anxiety and depression seemed to get worse, maybe it was something to do with the Menopause? - I spent a small fortune on private counselling, which by the way didn't seem to clear up any problems psychologically. So, on her recommendation I went to see a private psych doc (£300 per hour!) - He prescribed my Venlafaxine which I stayed on for about 2 years. The dose was increased incrementally from 150mg until I was on 375mg daily (quite a big dose for a 4'11" petite lady!) I found Venlafaxine a weird drug which gave me horrendous nightmares every night, stomach problems and while it did work for a few weeks, didn't provide a stable plateau in my general mental health. I decided to taper from Venlafaxine last September (2016) and reduced fairly quickly dropping by 37.5mg every 4 weeks ish. When I was down to 112.5mg Ven, my GP decided to introduce Sertraline 50mg (as I was very tearful) - I continued taking both and stopped the Ven all together in March 2017. My GP increased the Sertraline to 100mg which gave me awful anxiety for 7 weeks, so I reduced back down to 50mg. I have now stopped ALL ANTIDEPRESSANT drugs completely !!!! I have been drug free for 3 weeks now - what a roller-coaster it has been.These are my current symptoms: I cry daily, I feel woozy and dizzy and very tired at times, I have suicidal thoughts occasionally and yet, there are moments of total normality and general happiness! My depression has never been the 'stay in bed' type, I am very active - I love gardening, cycling, painting, sewing and being a Granny! and I continue to do things even when I feel like crap. My dilemma is, do I stick with this emotional hell that I feel I am going through at the moment? will it get better? will I ever be 'normal' again without antidepressants? Am I strong enough to keep going? Please, please give me some advice. I would love to hear some success stories, I really need some support and idea how long these horrible discontinuation symptoms will last Thanks, Thepaintinglady (currently painting the kitchen ceiling and not a work of art!)
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