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  1. I have spent the last week in bed reading this site over and over, combing through the words, looking for some sign of hope. In 1997 I was placed on Paxil 20mg after a traumatic event; I was 16 at the time. At the time my parents were told I could come off anytime, no risk of anything. As soon as I was put on, I started experiencing very intense side effects but I was also in the throws of severe PTSD with constant panic attacks, insomnia, terror... So it was hard to say which was which. I remained on the Paxil until 2009. In 2009, I decided I wanted to go off. I never thought to google or look online, I just asked my OBGYN. She said that it's best to go slow, and gave me liquid paxil. She said to go down 5mg a month. I wish I could recall the details of how I tapered down between 20 and 8 but I honestly cannot. All I know is that I never had any side effects at all. Sometimes I would have brain zaps, and weird dreams that started just as I dozed off, but for the most part I was A-OK. NO other side effects at all and the ones I did have only lasted a few days at most. Fast forward to this year. After being on 8mg for years, I decided I wanted to try coming off because I was feeling chubby (if I'm being honest). Let me also state that this last year has been, without a doubt the most stressful time of my entire life. We moved, started new jobs, I was sexually harassed at work, I ended up working 3 jobs, nonstop SNS in overdrive. I say this, because I'm honestly not sure if what I am experiencing is Paxil related so I want to give the full details and story here. On February 3rd 2018 I took my liquid Paxil dose from 8mg - 7.5mg. Again, I had never googled this, I just kind of made it up in my head. I didn't know there was anything to even google because other than my OBGYN saying briefly to go down slow, I didn't even know withdrawal was a thing. Everything was great. ZERO side effects. However, in my life, everything fell apart. My 8 year old daughter get very, very ill, I had to quit one of my jobs due to extreme stress and abuse from a man, and money troubles were up. I was truly in a state of full blown stress - even more hormones were a mess. But still, I was going going going because I just don't know when to quit I suppose. Then, on March 5th, I went to bed and couldn't sleep. Each time I would lay down, I'd get a HUGE surge of adrenaline through my entire body. I'd drift to sleep but be woken by these intense jolts that would leave me throwing up. The first night I was afraid, but I was OK. But then when this happened again the second night, and 3rd night, I began to develop second fears and began to become terrified that something was wrong with me. I went straight to the doctor and begged her to help me. She said my chronic stress had caused me SNS to go into extreme haywire and told me to take Xanax to sleep. That night I took the xanax (I think it was .5) and it didn't help me sleep. Instead I just laid there terrified that I wasn't sleeping. At this point, the ONLY thing I was experiencing was insomnia and anxiety related to the insomnia because I am terrified of not sleeping since I was a little girl. I went to my doctor again, and she said it was just the extreme stress from the year and asked me about my Paxil. I told her I was on 7.5 and she said to go to 14mg. I have since read the incredibly informative post about how this is a horrible idea, but again, I had no reason to even suspect anything at all is wrong with Paxil or with the doctor. None. I went home and took the 14mg liquid Paxil on March 28th. On April 2nd I felt great. April 3rd- 9th I was back to my old self 100%, sleeping nonstop, going about my life. I was still a bit worried by the lack of sleep that happened, but tried not to think about it. And then BOOM two days before my period on April 10th, (sorry if TMI) the insomnia came roaring back - same with the adrenaline surges. I have not been able to sleep more than 1 hour at a time since, and when I do sleep I'm not really sleeping. It's like a half awake thing with adrenaline flashes constantly going off in my body. I'm exhausted. Beyond. I thought it was just my hormones going bananas due to the stress. I called a hormone doctor and she said it sounded just like peri-menopause and to come right in. I went two days ago and she said my hormones were crazy and these symptoms sounded like they were hormonal. But something wasn't right. It wasn't just the insomnia anymore - although I'm wondering if the insomnia is what is causing all of my other symptoms. Possible severe Adrenal Fatigue? Nervous breakdown? PTSD with my SNS stuck on? When I read the list of symptoms of Paxil withdrawal every single one fits - but those same symptoms are in line with SNS response from PTSD as well. Sounds, smells, dizzy, insomnia, burning skin, numb hands and feet, severe depersonalization, OCD obsession with looking up symptoms and possible causes all day every single day... I'm coming to you with my heart broken. I miss my beautiful children. I miss my life. I miss my husband and our family. I wish I could go back in time and figure out where I went wrong. Do you think it is possible that going from 8-7.5 on February 3rd could suddenly cause insomnia on March 5th? Even though it was such a tiny decrease and I'd never had any symptoms of withdrawal before? Also, I *know* I made a HUGE mistake taking the Paxil 14mg on March 28th. I hadn't slept since March 4th and I promise I had no clue this could even be bad. I thought Paxil was like a vitamin that fixed a deficiency I had. (Which I've since read on here, is not the truth). Will I eventually stabilize at 14mg? And then go down again from there? How long until I stabilize? If I go down on the 14mg at this point I'll just freak out my body even more, right? If this is adrenal fatigue or PTSD my SNS won't stabilize on the Paxil until those things are remedied? But this whole thing is causing even more PTSD. The nightmares and visions at night are the most horrifying things I have ever experienced. Night after night. Ugh. What do I do now? I SO respect and appreciate the moderators who give such careful and direct advice on here, and I am wondering how they would approach my situation Thank you. I know this is long. I just want to get it all on here to get the best advice for me and my little family. Thank you so much.
  2. Hello there, I am a 30 year old female, 5'4", current weight 108lbs. After being diagnosed with depression at the age of 19, I was prescribed antidepressants. Paxil was the first drug I believe I was put on, with little success. Cipralex was the next drug that I was on for a few years until they didnt seem to be working anymore. I experienced severe trauma at age 24, and developed PTSD as well as severe anxiety/panic disorder. I was then prescribed effexor 300mg and lorazapam for sleep. There were a few other drugs for anxiety that I tried but none of them seemed to work. After the loss of my father February 13,2013, I again experienced trauma and was diagnosed with a second case of PTSD and rebounded into severe depression. My physical state has been declining since 2010, beginning with severe gastrointestinal problems. I constantly had heartburn and was vomiting acid on a daily basis. I was prescribed Tecta, which is used to treat patients with ulcers and acid problems. After over a year taking Tecta, my stomach problems continued to worsen. I had gastroscopys and colonoscopys, ultrasounds, xrays and nuclear dye testing. After several different doctors, I was diagnosed with a Mallory Weiss Tear (a tear in the esophagus which occurs from vomiting too much, acid erosion of the intestines and esophagus), but no other explanation for my stomach problems. Then after experiencing severe stress, i ended up in the emergency room with horrific pain in my abdomen, nausea, vomiting, high fever and severe irritation and irritability. I had a panic attack that lasted for almost 4 hours, until i was given a dose of Valium. The test results from that hospital visit revealed a Hemangioma (a benign tumor on my liver, which sent me into absolute panic). After a discussion with my family doctor it was decided it was time to try and come off my anti-depressants, to see if they were the cause of my problems. On November 14 2014 I took my last dose of effexor ( i was weaned off by reducing my prescription to 150mg, then 75mg. He then prescribed me Seroquel at 25 mg to help with some of the side effects I began experiencing. They only got worse. Brain zaps, night sweats soaking my sheets and clothes, fevers, chills, shaking, dizzyness, nausea, vomiting, you name it, I experienced it in the first 3 months of withdrawl. Since taking my last effexor dose, I have lost over 40lbs (which I had gained mostly during my use of Effexor), currently weighing 108lbs as of this morning. My anxiety is horrific at times, inabling me to do simple tasks such as going to the grocery store, especially alone. I immediately start feeling anxious, sweaty and sometimes light-headed. My stomach problems have amplified, I am unable to eat a lot of foods I used to, and have a hard time absorbing nutrients and digesting food. Sometimes I feel nautious the entire day, others in periods of hours. I have a b12 deficiency which makes me tired all the time, and feeling gassed after going for short walks or doing household chores. The physical pain and problems I am experiencing are surely influencing and adding to my anxiety and relapsing depression, especially since I have been an active person my whole life. I have not been able to work for the past 6 years because of all of the issues I faced while on antidepressants, and now continuing into withdrawal. I feel as though I am lost in my own horrible nightmare that I cannot awake from. Feeling sick everyday has made me very isolated, I am not as social as i used to be, nor am I able to do a lot of things as I'm either in pain in my stomach, or am experiencing severe nausea and anxiety. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont have much of a support system as after my fathers passing, my mother moved in with my half sister, and now refuses to speak to me. My entire life as I knew it has been changed. I have been seeing a new dr for my stomach problems after recently having to move citys, and am awaiting test results. Though I am very pessimistic that he will be able to solve my issues as my suffering has gotten the best of me. I know this post is just a mess of information about my current and past history, but it is a reflection of who I am now, a mess. I tried asking for a referral to a psychiatrist or psychologist in my area and was told there is a 2 year waiting list. I dont know where else to try to find help and resources to attempt to pull myself out of this horrible nightmare. I have read many articles and posts on websites, so I finally decided to join here and throw my story up to see if anyone else has exeperienced any of the things I have. As well as any help, advice, or even just someone to talk to about what Ive been feeling. The few people I have left in my life are seemingly "overwhelmed" with all the things ive been going through, and although they try to be there, their inability to understand whats happened to me and relate to the things ive gone though and am going through makes it very hard. It has strained my few remaining relationships and im afraid if one more person gives up on me as everyone else has, then I will too. I barely have any fight left, but what I do have I am using to write this post today. I hope that someone reading this might be able to help or relate. I will gladly answer any questions that i may not have covered in my ramblings. thanks for taking the time to read this -freya13
  3. Hello everyone, I feel so lost right now. I was very stressed out August 2015 and was put on 10 mg of Lexapro for anxiety. About a month on the pills I met an amazing guy. Oh my goodness I was so crazy about him and I loved him so so much. About 9 months later I decided to get off the pills cause I didn't think I needed them anymore and I stopped cold turkey. About a month later I woke up one morning and all my feelings I had for him were gone. It was out of nowhere, no warning, nothing. The man I couldn't wait to marry and start a life with was like a stranger to me. I feel sick, I can't eat, all I wanna do is sleep. This has been going on for 4 months now. I really want reassurance that this will get better but it's so hard. How can you have the love of your life right in front of you and then during withdraw feel nothing? I just don't understand. Thank you in advance!
  4. Hello Everyone, I am very glad to have found this forum. As you will see in my signature, I am a 28 year old female with a long history for Sertraline use. I began taking Sertraline at age 15 for severe OCD/anxiety and have been on it ever since then. At one point, probably around 18 or so, I maxed out at 200 mg/day of Sertraline and stayed on that does to about age 25. Around age 25 I was able to taper from 200 mg to 100 mg successfully without really any symptoms of withdrawl that I can recall. I have worked extremely hard to overcome my illness, and am finally at a point in life where I feel I have amassed enough tools through therapy and support to try to come off of Sertraline completely, especially because we would like to have children within the next 5 years. With the support of my doctor, I am tapering down to 75 mg from 100 mg. It has been about a week and a half since I began the reduced dose and the past few days I have experienced very serious dizziness, headaches, nausea, and fatigue. I have joined this forum with hopes that someone may be able to provide me with tips for dealing with these uncomfortable symptoms. It is so bad that I really should not be driving and had to stay home from work today. My understanding is that pain relievers such as advil and aleve can make SSRIs less effective, so I don't want to take any pain relievers for the headache if it will make the situation worse. I am determined to get off of this medication though it seems it will be a difficult journey. *I would just like to mention that perhaps there is one confounding factor in my situation - I began Gabapentin about 3 weeks ago to help with numbness/tingling in my forearm from cubital tunnel neuropathies. I know this is also a neuro drug, so I figured I would mention it as well. Any tips, support, or encouragement that you can provide would be a huge help! Thank you in advanced! Mademoiselle
  5. Hi there! I'm rather new to the community and have not posted yet since starting my withdrawal from Effexor. It's been a little over a month from when I went from 75mg down to 9.375mg a day (one quarter of 37.5mg pill). The initial decrease was not too bad with the occasional lightheaded-ness and night sweats. At this point, my symptoms are gone and I intend to decrease again very shortly once I figure out how that can be done smoothly. The only symptom that still seems to be prevalent is my intolerance to exercise. I'm used to exercising regularly (3-4x/week, an hour at a time) and now can barely stand 15 minutes of normal exercise. I'll get very dizzy, cold sweats, and have vomited on occasion. I assume this is due to the withdrawal as nothing else has changed. There's a lot of info out there and I know many people have found supplements that help in certain situations and was wondering if anyone has had similar symptoms and found relief in some way. I've gained about 10 lbs since starting Effexor in January, 2017 and want to get this unneeded weight off as soon as I can as it impedes my ability to continue practicing aerial silks. Any help would be much appreciated! Thank you, Brenna
  6. Hi everyone -- I am currently on week 7 of being off of 20 mg of Escitalopram. The issue is, I'm not getting better as far as my mood. I'm extremely weepy, have lost a desire to cook (I barely eat or feel hungry), have lost a drive for basically anything except exercise and work (because I need it to survive of course). Further, this summer (right before I quit the drugs) my boyfriend broke up with me (due to his own depression/issues), I moved into a new apartment in a new city on my own (with not many friends in said city besides my ex-boyfriends family), and my job title changed/wasn't what I expected/lacks a routine every day (which I need to feel stable.) Because of this, I am uncertain as to whether my sadness is truly depression/anxiety or if it's just a withdraw symptom that will go away. I hopped on the medicine about a year ago (September 2016) because of PMDD -- I found that i was extremely down right before my periods. I got on birth control as well to control my hormones, but I stopped that this past month as well. I got off the medicine this past July -- cutting down to 10 mg for two weeks then off. (My doctor said one week of 10 mg and then off but that scared me...) Anyway I had weird reactions as far as feeling extremely dizzy, not feeling like i was in my body, and having a hard time talking to people/interacting. (Those have since gone away) I'm needing advice on whether I should reinstate or just wait it out. I'm beginning to feel helpless because everyone says "just give it time" but when I don't feel better over time -- I begin to feel like a failure and feel worse. I now feel super hopeless and begin getting anxious about situations that may or may not be real (mostly relating back to my previous relationship.) I have friends and family who support me being off of it -- I am taking calcium, magnesium, b12 and vitamin c supplements daily. I also have friends who tell me I got off at the wrong time and think I need to be on it. Quite frankly, I feel worse now on a daily basis than I did before I even got on the medicine and I'm just regretting ever starting to be honest. Any advice from people who actually have experience on this would be so helpful. Thank you!
  7. OK so I need some input on tapering off from 20mgs of Lexapro. I asked my doctor for the liquid version so it would be easier to measure the mg's but she told me there is not a liquid. There is though! So that made me mad. So I decided I'm going to have to break each tablet and weigh it to be accurate. Then my doctor told me to reduce the mgs by quarters. I feel like that is too big of a taper so instead I'm going to do it by mg every week or 2 weeks. I am on ~18mg now. Has anyone tapered off Lexapro before? How did you do it? Did you have awful withdrawl symptoms? I want this process to be as painless as possible. I feel like I can deal with the mental symptoms better than the physical (nausea, vomiting, etc.) Also, my last q-- is one is more likely to experience the worst withdrawl symptoms during a certain mg decrease? Please help I can't take this anxiety and fear of getting ill any more. I'm going to turn into a hermit if things don't get better.
  8. I don't know if this is the right place to post this but I'm curious to know why does SSRI withdrawal last longer than that from heroine or cocaine? Heroine or cocaine withdrawal can last a few months where as SSRI withdrawal can take years. This just doesn't seem right to me.
  9. Hello, I am new here, I came across your forum as I was searching for people who have had the same effects as I have had from prolonged use of citalopram. I have never used a forum before so please forgive me if I am not doing this right? The breaking point really is that my relationship (a very loving supportive one at that) is on the rocks due to how the drug has affected me over the years, my partner has had enough and so have I. I was put on Citalopram 8.5 years ago, started at 40mg, went down to 10mg at one point, back to 40mg and now of rthe past 5 years stable at 20mg. Have tried to come off them with only negative effects, docs no use in advice. Essentially I feel this: Bored, blank, terrible libido, no motivation, unable to complete tasks, disinterested, bad sleep, very sweaty, short tempered, no enthusiasm. It's ruining my life and I need help - after reading posts from other members I certainly feel like I am not alone, that I am not crazy and that I can get off these drugs before it's too late.
  10. Hi everyone! Well, here is my story ... I am a 21 year old female, and I have been on Paxil since I was 6 years old, and have maintained on about 40-60mg ever since. I was put on Paxil due to my anxiety disorder and OCD, as I refused to eat in a school cafeteria and would be in a sheer panic everyday about going to school. Apparently they tried to put me on Zoloft at some point early on, but it gave me headaches and nausea, so that is why Paxil was chosen. The Paxil worked wonders for me, and I was able to go to school and live a very normal and happy childhood. In 2010, I was diagnosed with Chronic Lyme disease that was making me feel pretty ill. I saw a Lyme specialist in 2011, and he suggested that I stop taking Paxil. It was attempted to switch my medication to another SSRI (I do not remember what it was), and I ended up with Serotonin Syndrome and had to go to the hospital. While following one Lyme doctor's protocol, I was taking over 25 pills and supplements a day, and I accidentally forgot to take my Paxil for a few days in a row. As you all probably know, I began experiencing severe withdrawl from stopping my medication cold-turkey. I could barely stand up unsupported, I had severe dizziness and nausea, I was light-headed and weepy, and I didn't eat for about three days, I just layed in my bed in the dark and slept and cried. My mom thought that I may have been experiencing what is called a "Herxheimer Reaction," which is a periodic exacerbation of symptoms in response to treatment. We later realized that I had been off of my medication for about 3-5 days, and I immediately started taking my Paxil again and was feeling back to my old self within a day. I experienced some depression and anxiety when my Lyme was diagnosed, and my Paxil dosage was raised to about 80mg for a time. I also experienced some patterns of disordered eating while on some strict diets to help my Lyme's, but for the past 3 or 4 years, I have basically been anxiety and depression free. Anyways! I was talking to my Psychiatrist this week, and I mentioned how I have been trying to lose some weight, as I have become quite unhappy with my body. She mentioned that Paxil may very well be causing my metabolism to be slow, and suggested I switch to Lexapro. Thinking ahead about 6-8 years, I asked her if Lexapro would be something I would be able to take during pregnancy one day, as I already knew Paxil would not be safe for having children one day. She said that when I want to have children, I would probably be switched to Zoloft, so I suggested that we just start there, instead of making me change medication again, to which she agreed. I am a bit scared of switching from Paxil to Zoloft, due to the bad experience I had when forgetting to take my medication before, as well as the experience with Serotonin Syndrome. I am afraid of experiencing withdrawl, and all of the horror stories I have heard about. I am also scared that if the Zoloft doesn't work from me or I am having a hard time, that I will try to go back on Paxil and it will not work anymore. So I joined this site to hopfully learn about anyone else's experience with changing from Paxil to another medication, specifically Zoloft. So far, here is the plan.... Week 1: Drop 10mg of Paxil (watch for withdrawl) 30mg Paxil morning, 10mg Paxil night Week 2: Add Zoloft (watch for reaction to Zoloft) 30mg Paxil morning, 10mg Paxil and 25mg Zoloft night Week 3: 20mg Paxil morning, 10mg Paxil and 50mg Zoloft night Week 4: 20mg Paxil morning, 75mg Paxil night Week 5: 10mg Paxil and 50mg Zoloft morning, 50mg Zoloft night
  11. I am currently withdrawing from Paxil. Did a too fast taper, crashed bad, and have reinstated. I seem to be somewhat (compared to being out of my mind) stabilized after 3 months of reinstatement. However, my daily routine aside from poor sleep quality, is that I feel very anxious with panic barely under control from about 5:00 AM until noon'ish. The rest of the day I am functional and actually have periods where I feel almost normal. Does anybody experiencing Paxil (or any SSRI) withdrawal have this symptom pattern? Before using Paxil I never had any of these symptoms. I took it for mild seasonal depression annually for 4 months. Each year it was harder and harder to get off. I should have paid closer attention.
  12. So, after about 7 years on varying dosages of Zoloft (varied during pregnancy), I've spent the last 9 months stepping down from 100mg to 75mg (no withdrawl symptoms then) to 50 (insomnia, irritability, visual twitches). My provider helped ease those symptoms with supplements: Thorne's cortisol manager and 5HTP --these made a HUGE difference for me. Simultaneously started a very low dosage of plant based progesterone (am in early perimenopause). I inadvertantly missed three doses of the Zoloft at the beginning of the week (I sometimes fall asleep putting my little one to bed and feel too sleepy if I take the sertraline in the morning). Since, I have been feeling pretty dizzy and irritable and somewhat weepy. I am trying to decide whether to just forge ahead with added Pharma Gabba and extra 5 htp supplements suggested by my provider or to reactivate the Zoloft at 25 mg. My provider has indicated she supports either decision as long as i "feel safe." I started on Zoloft in the first place because of post-partum depression and anxiety. I now have two young children, a middle school-aged boy and a rocky marriage resulting from poor choices I've made, I think, because I was seeking stimulation -- to feel something again. That's why I decided to get off the ZOloft. I am hoping that feeling some hghs and lows instead of stable -- but flat and dulled, will help me be more present in my life. While I trust and like my main health care provider and am in marriage counseling with my husband, I do not have an individual counselor or psychaitrist. Am I taking too big of a risk by not continuing to taper? I have a refill waiting for me of the 50 mg pills to break inhalf ...
  13. Hello. I am Bipolar, With situational Anxiety and PMDD and (they implied that i have "mild PTSD" if thats even a thing). I have been receiving treatment for 3 years now. So, due to losing my insurance and working through a clinic who made me wait months at a time for doctor appointments I couldn't get my medication refilled early January. (The clinic often had issues getting me my meds. During these times and would often make me taper down till they came in.) as a result I would be sick for weeks at a time each switch. Then I couldn't get help at all. i tapered off as best i could over a 3 week period (its all i had left) I finally secured new insurance, found a new doctor, I see them in a week. But i have had 2 months now without meds and I am falling apart. The first month was OK, nothing too extreme, i actually felt better than ever (ie i suddenly went manic) then suddenly after that it was all Death thoughts, depression, hours of crying, nausea/dryheaving, tension, headaches, appetite loss, excessive sleeping, tremors, disorientation, rage, etc. I even gritted my teeth so hard freaking out one day i broke a tooth! everything has the volume cranked up in my head. It's scaring me from even leaving the house. It's too much like before i had treatment at my lowest points and it scares me. I understand some is the perspective of suddenly having to deal with this mental space again suddenly. But This is clearly not normal for me. The fact I was being tossed from one med to another constantly can't help. I have been switched on and off between several over a 3 year span! I have been praised for my many healthy coping mechanisms, so I know I'm -usually- treating myself properly. i take walks, When i can think properly i make art, i try my best to eat well, take hot showers, talk to my husband, focus on caring for my pets, and move around and take my day only a few hours at a time. I even quit my job to focus on healing. But it's gotten pretty terrifying. No matter how much compassion I want for myself I can't stop being depressed for long, and it's getting worse. It comes in waves, lasting for hours at a time and then suddenly it is gone again. I feel so drained and uncertain how to treat myself anymore. My biggest challenge is just to be kind to myself while I ride it out. My self compassion goes right out the window the minute the "clouds" form in my mind. Nice to meet you all.
  14. I've been using pristiq since 2007(ish) and had been on Effexor prior to that for about 3 years. I've got a new insurance company and since they are slowpokes getting my "authorization" complete. I've been without Pristiq since this past Sunday. Not too long, but I feel crazy. I'm floating outside of my body, can't wake up and generally just want to be by myself in the bed all day. Impossible when I have to work. Does anyone have any suggestions for getting thru this? There are no samples available at the Dr. The Pharmacy wants to charge me $25 for 3 pills. My entire copay is $35 for 30. A friend has offered some Abilify for the interim. Does anyone know if that would help? Or would that just make it worse? Last night, I had an additional 0.25 Xanax, but that just knocks me out. I'm still cranky and weird and have the craziest dreams. Thanks for any suggestions!
  15. 3 days ago i statred citalopram taking a 20 mg pill once a day. the first two days i didnt experience anything i would consider out of the ordinary. however last night and today i have been attacked with flashes of extreme anxiety and lightheadedness, nearly to the point that i pass out. Now during all of this I am completely coherent, however my body and mind feels as if it is under the influence of a powerful euphoria inducing drug. i have a higher level of paranoia than usual as well.. Needless to say I would like to tapper myself off this drug but however I am unsure as to how many milligrams I should take considering I have only started taking it 3 days ago. also how long would i need to tapper myself off before i could consider it safe to stop taking the drug? Thank you
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