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  1. UnfoldingSky

    Ataraxia

    I am not sure where exactly to put this as I'm not sure this is ever used in relation to medical or psychiatric issues and it also clearly isn't a symptom of withdrawal. I came across it while reading about something else, and I thought it was interesting because it basically describes the exact opposite of some my symptoms, that is, a state of being that existed for me before I was harmed by psychiatric drugs. It appears to be a philosophical term, which wiki describes as meaning "a lucid state of robust tranquility, characterized by ongoing freedom from distress and worry." Because of my psych drug experiences I existed in the exact opposite state, which was a feeling of continual fear and terror. However, I am long past the overt terror part, now that akathisia is gone. What I am still struggling with though is getting at returning to this basic ataraxic (?) state. I often feel a sense of being mildly uneasy. I can't concentrate well a lot of the time either, which adds to that feeling. The concentration issue definitely started with the drugs too. Unless I make a point of doing something that is really enjoyable and gets me out of the house I often just wind up feeling mildly uncomfortable. It's like the baseline feeling of a good mood has been very badly harmed by the drugs. Even when I was considered to be "depressed" I still often could feel this sort of baseline positivity. I wonder if others relate to this, who are well into withdrawal and have recovered somewhat. Or has anyone recovered fully, and they now don't feel a baseline sense of being ill at ease? Especially people who had severe drug issues? I should emphasize too, I definitely do not have akathisia anymore and can sit still.
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