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  1. KittenLePurr, here. Thank you so much for maintaining this site and for welcoming me here❤️ I was put on psych meds as a child, at age 12. I'm still working through a lot of anger around that. My parents did the best they could but, you know, they were traumatized by their parents, who were traumatized by their parents, etc., and they were all taught to blindly trust doctors and to essentially live in fear of their bodies. Thanks, Western medicine. Anyway, so, as a highly sensitive child who felt deeply depressed and uncomfortable in the world, I presented quite a set of challenges to my parents. I had a month-and-a-half-long period at age 11, so my mom took me to an OBGYN who did no tests or anything to see what was up with my hormones; she just wrote me a prescription for birth control. 🙄 My mom was concerned about that but gave it to me. I became even more depressed after that and, when I was 12, told my mom I thought I needed help. She took me to a counselor who suggested I see a psychiatrist, who wrote me a prescription for Zoloft. Oh, and talk therapy. The gold standard of care. Zoloft and therapy didn't seem to help, so I was then put on Prozac...and then, on a whole host of other meds. I took a jumbled handful of different cocktails I can’t even remember, including Effexor, Wellbutrin, Trazadone, Remeron, and a number of mood stabilizers. It was a rollercoaster on top of the hormonal rollercoaster I was already on, being a preteen on birth control. At age 13, things felt increasingly bleak, as I was having issues with my friends at school and felt unloved and completely hopeless, and I decided it was time to end it. I took as many pills from the medicine cabinet as I could without throwing up and lay down in my bed, waiting to die. But it took too long; I got impatient and decided maybe I didn’t really want to die...not if it meant lying there, excruciatingly nauseated. So when my dad got home, I told him I needed to go to the hospital and they pumped my stomach. The pills I'd taken the most of were Effexor leftover from my brief stint on it months prior. I thought I was going to throw up the charcoal until a social worker put a cool washcloth on my forehead, and the nausea passed and I felt this giant wave of relief and joy from still being alive. I told my psychiatrist about that, and she took that to mean Effexor was a good med for me. So I went back on it and stabilized on Remeron, and over the next few years, things did get a little better. Meaning we were sort of managing my depression. But I was still deeply, deeply troubled. I was attracted to drugs and alcohol because I was so depressed and uncomfortable in my own skin and altered states felt better to me. I was on a constant quest to find the best and most complete escape from the pain of normal, everyday life and started partying and skipping school to smoke pot and take drugs. I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Adderall, which gave me horrible side effects but also appeased my longing to escape sobriety, so I took more and more of it. Up to 120mg a day. I flunked out of public school and my parents sent me to private school, at which point I finally chilled out on the partying and graduated. I was managing my symptoms a little better. In college, I had a serious boyfriend who pointed out it was not normal for a girl like me to have such severe sexual dysfunction. I’d never been told anything about that by my doctor or even realized it was abnormal, and when I found it was a common side effect of antidepressants, I was outraged and decided to stop taking my antidepressants, cold turkey, between doctor’s visits. I’d never heard of withdrawal symptoms. But I didn’t experience any! Different biology?? I don’t know. When I told my doc I’d stopped taking the meds, she was pretty surprised that I seemed okay. This was the most stable period of my life. I wasn’t “happy” or even well-adjusted but I was managing, even after I got off the meds. I wonder why my more recent experiences have been so different. I’d developed TMJ my senior year and in college, guzzling Adderall and stressing out, my anxiety and jaw pain got much, much worse. I would have flare-ups where it felt like my jaw muscles were being stabbed with an ice pick. I went to the emergency for a particularly bad episode and asked my psychiatrist if there was anything she recommended. She prescribed lorazepam. I started off only taking that here and there for my jaw but eventually, it became a daily habit for anxiety. Life was just better when I took it. It’s what I’d always been searching for: peace. I vowed never to take antidepressants again but benzos were okay in my book because I had no idea they also came with a slew of negative side effects, and they made a much bigger difference in how I felt. For a while, anyway. Eventually I graduated to Klonipin and was taking 1-2 mg a day, every day, sometimes more. I dropped out of college to pursue a music career and my love of getting inebriated spiraled out of control. During a particularly low point in my life, I started taking pain pills to get through work and got addicted to them. I spent the next few years battling opioid addiction which progressed to heroin addiction. I checked myself into rehab in 2012 and during that month, I was put on Lexapro for depression and Seroquil for sleep. Seroquil made me feel frightened, so I talked to the doctor and he put me on Remeron again. I was like a zombie. And I couldn’t stop eating the junk food they had there. I felt AWFUL. So, as soon as I got out, I stopped taking all the meds. Not sure whether I had withdrawals because, unfortunately, I also relapsed. I battled my addiction a while longer until my beloved boyfriend at the time OD’d and died in front of me. I was obviously crushed and blamed myself. I was more depressed than ever but didn’t want to die, so I entered a methadone maintenance program and stopped doing street drugs. I’m so grateful for that methadone clinic...it saved my life. But the doctor there kept urging me to get back on an antidepressant and I didn’t want to. Because I knew it would only be harder this time. But I still had no other coping skills and had these health professionals telling me I had a chemical imbalance and the only way to fix it was with medication, so I relented. I was on 75mg Effexor and 1.5mg Klonipin. My doc lowered my dose of Klonipin a few times over the next few years; he wanted me to get off of it now that the FDA released a black box warning about cognitive effects. In 2017, I switched from Effexor to 20mg Citalopram, which he thought would help with my anxiety. It didn’t. And she tapered me off the Effexor over the span of about a week and a half...it was brutal! I knew better by that point, too, but I chose to just trust her anyway. I barely slept and the anxiety was incapacitating. It took me a couple of years to connect the dots but Citalopram gave me horrendous brain fog. I’m a writer and musician, and I had a health and wellness blog I really took pride in. Once I was stable on the Citalopram, I stopped feeling able to write or make music entirely. I could barely think straight. For 3 YEARS. And for the first year and a half of that, I thought I was just tired and lazy because my doctor said it wasn’t related. But in 2017, I discovered holistic psychiatrist Kelly Brogan on a podcast and learned the truth about antidepressants and learned I was not the only person whose creativity was stunted by them. I learned game-changing lifestyle practices that actually DID help with depression and anxiety--unlike the meds--and I underwent a huge health transformation and had an awakening around the medical system and society at large. And I got to a place where I felt more centered, joyful, and more MYSELF than I’d ever thought possible. I vowed to get off meds for good--this time, not to just “manage my mental illness” without meds, but to live a full, vibrant, healthy life. I was most eager to get off the things that stifle my creativity, so I microtapered off my remaining 0.35mg Klonipin in Spring of 2020. I got through it using my lifestyle practices--clean eating, meditation, intentional movement, grounding, EFT/tapping and emotional regulating practices/shadow work--and had only a few severe panic attacks. The brain fog was INTENSE and I’m so grateful to have been laid off from the lockdown because I could not have worked. I basically lay around all day for months, aside from doing my self-care practices. I tried to move right into tapering Celexa because I want OUT but my body said NOPE just about immediately with severe insomnia, crippling anxiety and even worse brain fog. I’ve been balancing out over the past year and am feeling 9,000,000,000 times better than I was right off of Klonipin. I’m ready to get off of Celexa. I’ve lowered my dose of methadone over the past several years, too, and I’m at half my original dose. I know this isn’t a forum for that but it’s part of my journey...and getting off an opioid is no walk in the park but I’m honestly concerned that this Celexa taper is going to be even harder. That’s why I signed up here. I’m currently at 14.35 mg; my original dose was 20mg. I don’t really know what to expect (aside from anxiety and sleep disturbances) but I know I’m going to need support. Figuring out the math to do each cut feels really difficult. My brain fog is still really thick. I’m honestly disappointed it hasn’t improved more by now, having been off Klonipin for almost a year. I’m taking lion’s mane mushrooms, which definitely help but it’s still a challenge. I’m still unemployed and have been hesitant to cut my dose because I keep expecting to lose my unemployment and have to be able to perform, create, be productive, etc. I don’t feel comfortable going to a workplace with what’s going on out there now, so I started learning copywriting last year during lockdown and was planning to start a freelancing business but kept going back and forth between prioritizing that and my healing. I couldn’t write during Klonipin withdrawal; I don’t know if I’ll be able to during this taper. I have so much fear around this. I’m doing a lot of inner work, a course called Core Wound Healing and lots of shadow work, which I know will help me through this. Still, it’s difficult. So much fear! But since I only have 1 ongoing freelance client and it’s really easy work, I’m back to prioritizing my healing, and I cut my dose by 10% this morning. I’m just telling myself “I got this” over and over. Going to see how I feel in a few days, a week, 2 weeks. And I’ll go from there. Thank you so much if you made it to this point!! I know this was a novel!! (I'm a writer...I edited this about 10 times but brevity isn't one of my strong suits😬)
  2. Hi friends. I have been getting information from this site for a while so it's about time I made an account. I have been handed a pretty crappy situation (like everyone else here) and trying to decide what to do. The beginning was very rough. The awakening of what happened and what was to come, then trying to cope after seeing it all. Thank God I found Benzo Buddies and SA or I probably would've been polydrugged even more....so for that, thank you to whoever started and helps keeps this site going. I would love some advice from you guys because right now, I feel stuck. And maybe that means holding? I'm not sure. Here's the low down: Zoloft 2008-2009? CT - No Issues - Underage! 14 years old. Had anxiety (looking back...gut issues/hormones/recurring UTI's caused it) Xanax - as needed VERY RARELY 2008-2018 - maybe 1-2 a year? for random bouts of anxiety Celexa 10mg - 2012-2014 - Started after a panic attack. Looking back, I didn't eat a good breakfast and had too much caffeine but here we go. Crossover to Paxil 20mg - 2014 - Celexa pooped out. Paxil "worked" Crossover from Paxil to Lexapro 20mg - 2016 - because I was told Lexapro is better when I'm ready to get pregnant 😐 Crossover from Lexapro to Celexa - May 2020 - gradually increased to 30mg. - because I had hormone issues/stomach issues that triggered anxiety (or Lexapro pooped, I don't know) Also prescribed Lorazepam for help with the anxiety. Took it randomly Once hit 30mg, adverse reaction. Akathisia/anxiety BAD - worst experience of my life. Was in this torture for 2 weeks - I was told it couldn't be my meds but that it may be so cold Turkey July 2020 Withdrawal hit hard 5 days later - hypersexual. Discovered PGAD through google - freaked out thinking the only "cure" was medicine because that's what PGAD facebook group said...bad idea - PGAD is a nightmare symptom. Was told to take Lorazepam for symptoms - around .25-.5mg/day Propranalol 5mg at night - current Tried Buspar 10mg 3 days (didn't help pgad), nortiptyline 1mg a week (helped pgad, heart symptoms) - STOPPED. Realized meds may be the problem. Stopped lorazepam for a day, AWFUL symptoms, realized I was dependent. Found Benzo Buddies Benzo Buddies and Google led me to SA.org - told doctor I wanted to reinstate Celexa at a low dose. Started 1mg Celexa liquid and held. PGAD calmed down A LOT (only random flares) so I knew reinstatement was working. Got on Lorazepam schedule of .125mg 3 times a day. Stabilized on 1mg Celexa and .375mg Lorazepam (rough - nowhere near 100% just a gradual state of feeling bad with waves that are worse) Started cutting lorazepam randomly with dry cuts. Got down to .20mg Lorazepam by January 2021. Tried to cut 15%, hit a wall. Realized with BB that it may be easier with liquid for cuts. Pill was tiny and I had a hard time weighing. I tried to make my own liquid, one dose and I was in bad shape so knew I needed a compound to help. Prescribed Lorazepam compound with almond oil, felt okay but almond oil caused worse PGAD (I have learned magnesium flares PGAD for me and almond oil, almonds, and almond milk contains magnesium - crazy I'm so sensitive) Switched back to pills, stabilized. Went back to try another liquid with olive oil. No pgad but they used a generic pill instead of the powder they used before, bad symptoms. Went back to pill, stabilized. Then switched to new compound with olive oil. Had to updose to .225mg to transition - stabilized for 3 days finally. Cut .001mg every week. Now down to .219mg and last few cuts have been really bad with insomnia/anxiety/feeling really bad. Insomnia only lasts for about 2 days each cut but the anxiety and feeling bad lasts for a while before I stabilize. I'm still not stable from my last .001mg cut on Sunday. ALSO - I found out last Monday I have a UTI. Initial test was negative, culture came in with E-Coli. Due to my severe sensitivies, I am treating with dmannose, cantharis and Uva Ursi tea I will start soon. The symptoms have calmed but still feel overall terrible. I'm hoping the last cut was bad because the UTI made it worse? Anyway - I have been through so much over the last year and I feel like I've hit a wall. I would really love some advice. Benzo Buddies has helped but they're not familiar with SSRI withdrawal. My initial thought at this point was to stabilize and lower SSRI using Brass Monkey Taper but the Celexa does keep the PGAD at bay most of the time. Since that is the case, my thought is to get off of the lorazepam first. I am definitely learning how to listen to my body/surrender to this all. With that said - my questions: 1. Should I have held longer with the switch to liquid? I'm starting to think I should have held longer to allow my nervous system to adjust but not sure. Is that why my teeny tiny cuts are bad right now? 2. Is it a good plan to drop lorazepam first? I am in a pickle because I started feeling worse (malaise) around the time I got on the Ativan schedule so I'm not sure if it's making everything worse, etc. I haven't felt good on it but I'm also in SSRI withdrawal so not sure what is what? 3. I know this is a really long time from now BUT after withdrawing from Lorazepam, how long should I wait to taper the Celexa OR do I just follow my gut/symptoms? I need to be as functional as possible, of course. Right now, I feel overall crappy when I'm stable but able to push through. Brain burning, anxiety, stomach issues, bladder issues, fatigue, malaise, body aches BUT sleeping okay and working and taking care of my family. Fighting! Each tiny cut I've made from Lorazepam since switching to liquid brings on insomnia for a couple of days and bad fear/anxiety/sensitive to noise/irritability/tinnitus/anger/laying on the couch a lot. I would love any advice. I will try to put this all in my signature! Thank you so so much for your help. I know one day healing will come but getting there is a struggle that you all know oh so well.
  3. Any tardive akathisia success stories? Thought this might be a really nice post of hope for a condition that is usually seen as very hopeless. 🙂 I've seen a few people successfully heal from acute akathesia by changing their dosage etc. But was wondering if there was any success stories on tardive or withdrawal akathesia, especially for those who aren't even on meds anymore? Also if anyone has been in a similar position as me - I haven't been on any drugs since 2018, but I smoked weed for a few days in June 2021, then I was suddenly hit with akathesia 3 months later (I've never even had akathesia before).
  4. Hi friends, My name is Gibby and I'm a 25 year old male with a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder. I have been on medication for 5 years. I have been fairly stable while on medication, but I've been unhappy about taking olanzapine, even though my dose is very low (1.8mg for five years) and the physical side effects are more annoying than dangerous. However, I understand that serious complications can arise from taking this drug for a long time, so I've been looking to come off it for quite awhile. I started a withdrawal at the beginning of June, but it was mostly an experiment and I lasted about three days; I didn't really know what I was doing. Last Saturday night (with my doctor's consent!), I decided to try again with some more supports in place and some more coping techniques. These helped but I wasn't sleeping at all, and these last few days have been very bad. I haven't been able to eat or exercise much and my parents are exhausted in trying to care for me. I still feel like "me", my personality hasn't changed but I feel physically really unwell and anxious and depressed. I've decided to go back on the medication for awhile to get stable again (I expect to be a little zonked for the first five days or so back on, no big deal) and then try a different plan. My family wanted me to keep trying to get over the hump, but I can feel my nervous system freaking out and I don't have the practice in CBT techniques or keeping my mind safe, especially with no sleep and no real plan. I did my best for five days, and I hope that giving up now to try later doesn't make me some kind of chicken. I really wanted to but I guess my body-mind isn't ready. Do you guys/gals/others have any advice for next time? Anybody else gone through this? I'm also going to go off the citalopram eventually but the olanzapine is the main goal for right now. Thank you!
  5. Hi, I found this website from someone's post who seemed to be going through the same as what I am. Sorry if this is long but I'm not sure which info is necessary! I was taking Citolapram for alittle over 2 years, mostly 20mg but I upped to 30mg near the end. I weened off them within a week but after almost a month I went back of them (20mg). I only stayed on them for a week and then came off them cold turkey. About 7 or more weeks since, I randomly woke up one day with PGAD. It's a horrible, progressive, non-curable disorder that makes your genitals feel constantly aroused, sometimes stabbing, burning, feeling the need to pee, zap feelings and a lot of throbbing. I've had this for a month now and feels worse these past 2 days (coincidentally I was pescribed Amitriptyline 10mg but after 2 days of taking them I decided I don't want to go back to ADs - apparently PGAD is mostly caused by withdrawing from ADs) I've had so many breakdowns because of this and there is no way I can live with it, especially because it can cause spontaneous orgasms and a lot of pain which I haven't got yet. I'm so scared and my doctors have no idea about the disorder and just try to convince me it's in my head which despite my obvious symptoms and causes I'm hoping it is. My history of OCD could explain it too. Before taking ADs I had a fear of farting in public which as stupid as it sounds, kept me house-bound for years. It went away after I took ADs and started college. Then a year later I had a bad sickness bug which led me to a fear of throwing up, with that I felt sick literally every single day and not always just mildly. I had tests but nothing explained it. Then I started hearing alot about PGAD just before mine started, once mine started my sickness has completely gone (so all this time it must have been in my head which is crazy because I almost threw up it was so bad). And now I'm getting all these symptoms of PGAD constantly. But I'm still not convinced it's all in my head because it is a fact that withdrawing from ADs too fast can cause it, plus I think I have some damage in my pelvice since I went on an exercise bike during my 2nd withdrawals. This gave me what I thought was piles in my perineum which went away after a week and then came back with my PGAD. I have a huge skin tag in my perineum which fills and becomes solid if I'm too active and I start getting a pain around it (in my legs/butt cheeks). I'm thinking I've damaged my pelvic floor and that these things could be connected? Although the PGAD didn't start straight away? I'm sorry this was so long but I am so so terrified of having this disorder, it is honestly such a horrible, embarrassing, painful and hopeless thing to live with and has always been my biggest fear since I learnt about it. I have so many things that could have caused it which makes me think that maybe it isn't just in my head. It's driving me crazy and if anyone has any hope or experience like this I would really love to hear from you. Sorry again for the long post.
  6. Hi all, I have been struggling off and on over the last 14 years with what I thought was anxiety the whole time, but am now realizing it was more likely withdrawal from stopping antidepressants too quickly. The first SSRI I was put on was Paxil. I tapered off after 7 months because I never really liked the idea of being on an antidepressant. I started having anxiety a few months later and was switched to 50 mg of Zoloft. I tried multiple times over the next 13 or so years to stop Zoloft, but the anxiety always returned, so back on I would go. In the fall of 2015 I had a return of anxiety after reducing the Zoloft to 25mg and tried to go back to 50, but it wasn't helping, so ended up going to 150mg before I felt relief. I again tried tapering last summer and got down to 25mg and experienced increased anxiety as well as insomnia. My doctor switched me to Lexapro last October, but it only made me more anxious, so after 10 weeks he switched me to Paxil. I got up to 20mg of Paxil for 3 weeks and wasn't feeling any better, so finally decided I had enough and wanted off the antidepressants. I started tapering at the end of January down to 15mg for 2 weeks, then 10 for 2 weeks, then to 7.5, and after about a week and a half at 7.5 started feeling really anxious again. I found this site and decided to go back up to 10mg of Paxil and stabilized for about 2 weeks and then started tapering 10%. Was doing pretty well for a couple of weeks at 9mg and then started feeling a little anxiety creep in. I talked to my doctor about switching to Prozac to make the tapering hopefully easier, so a week ago this Friday I started taking 4.5 mg each of Paxil and Prozac. I have experienced some ups and downs with anxiety since then, and am having a particularly difficult time right now. Feeling quite anxious and can't sleep. I took .5mg lorazepam tablet and am feeling a bit better, but not sure what to do now. I was going to switch to just 9mg of the Prozac and eliminate the Paxil tomorrow, but not sure if I should continue with the half and half mixture I have been doing or maybe even just go back to the Paxil alone? This just sucks so bad. I know I have probably screwed up my system so much with all of these changes and can only pray the damage is reversible. I was feeling pretty good earlier today, but then started feeling terrible as the evening went on. Haven't felt this bad in a while. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
  7. Original topic title before reducing the length: FosterTheCritters: after 19 years on antidepressants, I discontinued, reinstated, tapered up and down, and discontinued again, and I'm a mess. Looking for helpful advice. _______________________________ Hi. I'm so grateful to have found this amazing group; it has given me hope which I badly needed. I have a very complex situation and don't know, even after reading a lot on this site, what my next move should be to help myself. Here is my story. In fall 2004 I started on 20mg of citalopram for GAD and panic disorder. I had typical side effects for a week or so and charge through because the improvement of my symptoms was fast and drastic. I increased to 40mg after one or two weeks with no trouble and I felt amazing. My anxiety was so diminished and my life got some much easier. Fast-forward to 2015. I had many stressful years leading up to 2015 and 2015 was particularly bad. I thought maybe I could use something different to help with my increased anxiety and situational depression, so I switched to 60mg duloxetine. The psychiatrist had me switch with no taper at all and fortunately the switch went smoothly. I didn't notice any change on the duloxetine, but my husband was also on it, so it seemed convenient to stay on it. After a few years I started to feel apathetic and lost motivation for doing a lot of things I enjoyed. I wasn't really depressed and my anxiety was managed fine, so I hit the pause button on switching meds even though I figured the medication might be causing the apathy. In May 2021 my husband was diagnosed with salivary gland cancer (he's cured now via surgery). Even on meds, I'm terrible with uncertainty, and I had a really rough patch of anxiety as there was a lot of waiting involved in diagnosing and staging and my brain got away from me. Sometime in early June my duloxetine refills ran out; I needed to reach out to my doctor to submit a new prescription and I forgot. I take so many supplements and medications each day, and fill containers weekly; combine that with my worry about my husband and I didn't even notice that I wasn't putting duloxetine in the tubs. So, I stopped the duloxetine cold turkey and I don't really know when. I do know that at the end of June I recognized that I was having abnormally bad anxiety and panic along with some eye movement abnormalities and realized my mistake. I wish I could go back to just those withdrawal symptoms as that was easy mode compared to my life since then! I contacted my psychiatrist to correct the issue and he prescribed 30mg duloxetine, which I started on July 2nd, 2021. I used to take my duloxetine at night and did that again; I didn't sleep at all the first night and the very first day after restarting I had terrible eye pain, neck pain, stomach cramps, diarrhea, felt like I was on stimulants 24/7, and severe facial and neck flushing in addition to emotional fluctuation and intense anxiety. Since I had never tapered up on Cymbalta before, and didn't know my reaction to that process, I assumed all the symptoms I was having were that, and stuck with it a week. My symptoms did not improve at all throughout that week even as I switched to taking it in the morning instead of at night. My psychiatrist told me that I must be in withdrawal and prescribed going up to 60mg duloxetine after that first week at 30mg. I had the same symptoms but more intense even after some time at 60mg. I continued at 60mg at least a week, but things were so bad I asked my psychiatrist for a change. He prescribed 10mg citalopram. I stopped having the stimulated feeling I was having on the duloxetine, but all my other symptoms persisted. My psychiatrist was still convinced that a higher dose was going to ease what he was still sure were withdrawal symptoms so on August 27th, 2021 he had me to go to 20mg after two weeks on 10mg. Again my symptoms seemed to worsen, so I dropped back to 10mg after about 2 weeks on 20mg. I'm not sure if my symptoms were improved after dropping back to 10mg because they were still very bad. When I saw the psychiatrist again, he told me that the physical symptoms I was having were clearly not related to the medication both because they weren't improving on the meds, and he'd never heard of anyone having eye pain or flushing due to antidepressants. So, I decided not to see him again and went to get my eyes checked by an ophthalmologist. She couldn't find anything, so assumed eye inflammation and prescribed steroid drops that didn't help. I also asked my excellent primary care doctor to take over managing my antidepressant journey and he agreed. At this point I was taking so little medication in comparison to what I had been before June 2021, and my googling had me convinced that I was having some sort of serotonin toxicity with the flushing and diarrhea, so my irrational conclusion was that I must have a carcinoid tumor. That fear consumed me and I had my doctor run the urine test for carcinoid tumors which came back negative. At this point, my husband, who has been very supportive, started searching for other answers and found survivingantidepressants.org. He suggested I try doing a very slow taper and see if I could get off the medication and see if my body would reset. I talked to my primary care provider about this, and I got discouraged when my doctor found out the local compounding pharmacy would need at least two weeks before they could provide my first taper dose. I didn't want to continue with the current situation any longer, so I discontinued the citalopram at the end of September after being back at 10mg for about 3 weeks. My symptoms are still awful, but they have improved a bit after being off the medication a week and seem so be in a positive trend. I have slightly fewer crying bouts/meltdowns. My flushing is fainter and the facial telangiectasias that developed have faded considerably. My eye pain happens in shorter segments throughout the day. I still have stomach cramping at times of the day and night, but the diarrhea has become less frequent and less severe. My sleep is still terrible, and I forgot to mention that during this four month journey I've tried clonazepam, trazadone, Lunesta, Ambien, and Xanax for sleep, and I'm still on the Ambien and Xanax. Even with those drugs I struggle to fall asleep, wake up one or more times per night, and often feel pretty hung over in the morning. Thankfully, after spending time on this site, I have at least realized that whatever is going on is likely a nervous system reaction to the antidepressant changes that have occurred and it has given me hope that I will recover. My questions are these: 1. What does it sound like happened when I tried to go back on the meds and developed physiological and mental symptoms and couldn't tolerate the medication? Does that sound like a sensitized nervous system that didn't want to readjust? Does it sound like I was in withdrawal the whole time? Is this likely just because of the speed and flip-floppy nature of all the changes? 2. Has anyone out there had eye burning and pain and neck and facial flushing as side effects/symptoms going on or off antidepressants? 3. Now that I've been off the medications over a week and have had some improvement, does it make sense to try to go back on to something and slowly taper or just continue to try to heal from withdrawal? 4. I have no idea what to do about the sleep meds. This is the first time in my life I've had trouble sleeping aside from one week in 2004 when I was starting citalopram. This poor sleep has been going on for four months and I'm scared. Should I stay on them until I hopefully have some improvement in sleeping on my own or try to wean off now? 5. I've been taking LDN for autoimmune disease for a few years now and it has been amazing for me. However, in trying to rebalance my nervous system, it seems like anything that affects neurotransmitters might be a problem right now? Plus there is a little bit of evidence that suggests naltrexone might affect serotonin and norepinephrine, in addition to, dopamine. Should I discontinue it, reduce it, or leave it alone? Thank you so much for reading and for any advice/experience you can offer!
  8. I think I’ve made an awful mistake. I did a too fast taper off of Citalopram in Jan/ Feb and have been having awful withdrawal symptoms for about a month now. I thought the symptoms would resolve themselves after a few weeks, but they haven’t and I fear that I may have now permanently damaged my brain. I was prescribed 20mg paroxetine in 2001 for depression and anxiety. It worked really well. Life was wonderful and I felt fantastic for about a year. Then the Paroxetine lost it’s effectiveness. I took it for another year before deciding that it wasn’t doing anything and that I was cured so could just stop taking it. I relapsed six months later and was put on 20mg Citalopram in 2003. Over the years I have made three attempts at withdrawing from Citalopram. I had very little help from my doctor who told me that I could just stop cold turkey and then go back on them if the depression/ anxiety returned, which it always did. My last attempt to withdraw was in 2011. It was disastrous, I ended up a quivering wreck and was convinced I was going to die. Went back on citalopram and was told I would probably need to stay on SSRI’s for life. Stabilised after a couple of months, but didn’t feel quite right so was put on 10mg Ecitalopram. Over the last few years I made some significant lifestyle changes; moved into a new house, started getting some regular exercise, improved diet, reduced alcohol consumption and quit smoking. Nov 2014 - was switched back to citalopram 20mg. No explanation as to why, I went to collect the repeat prescription and it contained citalopram with a note saying this was a new course. Anyway, i took what I was given and assumed the doctor knew what he was doing. 15 Jan 2015 - Life seemed more positive and i once again felt the urge to quit the anti-depressants and be free of the side effects (agoraphobia, emotional numbness, twitching muscles, weight gain, sexual dysfunction, tiredness). I took 10mg for 2 weeks, then 5mg for two weeks and 2.5mg for a further two weeks, before jumping off. Mar 2015 - I had two weeks of feeling really good. I had tons of energy, was getting out more, was starting to make plans for the future, my emotions were coming back, best of all, I was starting to feel like me again. I had a few brain zaps and headaches, but nothing that I couldn't cope with. I felt that this time things would be different and that I would finally be free of these drugs. Then I crashed. I woke up very early one morning with a feeling of dread, terror and loneliness. Everything had changed overnight. I had severe anxiety, a tight chest, knotted stomach, heart palpitations and difficulty breathing. The world seemed unreal. Everything had suddenly become a huge effort. I was unable to spend any time alone and was worrying about the most ridiculous things. In hindsight, it was at this point that I should have reinstated, but I was determined to be A.D. free, so I put up some blackout curtains to help with the early waking, stopped drinking coffee and tried to distract myself by keeping busy. April 2015 - I discovered this site and learnt about withdrawal symptoms, windows and waves, supplements and tapering. The information gave me some relief as I now knew what was happening to me. I have been taking supplements for a few weeks (300mg magnesium, 1300mg omega 3 and 25mg diphenhydramine) which I feel has eased some of the symptoms. However, I have been reluctant to reinstate because I had a window that lasted for two days and thought I was making progress. That was a couple of weeks ago and I’m feeling awful again now. It is becoming clear that I’m probably sensitised to SSRI’s after long term use and that I might have to suffer a protracted withdrawal. Tomorrow, I have an appointment with a new doctor. Im going to ask her for a low dose of citalopram and something to help me get a proper night’s sleep. I just hope that I haven’t left it too late to reinstate, stabilise and conduct a very slow taper. I really wish I had found this site back in January and had not had to suffer this cold turkey hell.
  9. I tapered off 20 mg Celexa at the end of August not understanding that I did it too quickly after being on for 20 plus years. I cut dose in half first two weeks and then took one every other day third week and then quit. The first two weeks I had flu like symptoms and dizziness plus angry rages and felt much better when that was over until about week six off medicine and started having anxiety and depression which comes in waves. Fish oil helps a little and so does taking a bit more of my ADHD supplement but I'm still not functioning well. I can barely concentrate to even do simple things to take care of my home such as my weekly menu. I have gone from working a full time job as a therapist(I will never recommend antidepressants to clients again) to barely being able to function every day. I have job interviews and job offers coming in and have to turn down full time work. My company shut down and I was unemployed due to that but now cannot work due to depression and fatigue. I had to go to emergency room three weeks back due to gallbladder bottoming out after taking estrogen and a medical test and the Gallbladder and IBS are definitely part of the problem with the depression- due to-inflammation. My worst symptoms of depression started after having to go to emergency room. Now that I am having major issues I have been researching and found this site. I may have to go back on medicine to see if I can get back to work because I need food! Perhaps I can get advice on tapering and withdrawal and try again but slower next time. Neuropathy has been much better since off the antidepressant so want to get off this crap! I cannot remember depression symptoms 20 years ago when I went on med so have so way to assess what is depression and what is withdrawal. Even on med I had worsening depression w/menopause and could not take estradiol due to it bothering gallbladder. Four years ago tapered off and tried St Johns but that and 5htp make me feel bad. At that time I thought the symptoms of horrible depression was an overactive tyroid but now I am having same symptoms again with going off Celexa. I am going today to buy some saffron and try that and if that doesn't work I'm going to have to refil my Celexa prescription and see if that helps. I can't handle the depression anymore and must get back to work. I thought I would try just 10 this time and see if it helped enough for me to get back to work. Any feedback tips would be much appreciated. I'm so unhappy and wanting to die but not actively suicidal. I'm not understanding signature part of this post trying to read how to do it but my cognitive function is way down! Gender Female
  10. Hi everyone, I had flu last week and couldn't get out to get my Prozac prescription (40mg). I have run out and it has now been a week since I took them. I feel fine. I have been on antidepressants since late 2015 and have tried to come off them before but my doctor just put me back on when I was struggling with withdrawal effects (at the time I was on 40mg of citalopram). I changed from Citalopram to Prozac in Feb this year as a review with my doctor suggested that I was getting absolutely no effect from Citalopram and it was perhaps making me anxiety worse and I was having some depressive episodes. I was put straight onto Prozac at 20mg and then this was increased to 40mg after 2 months. I just want to stop medicating every day. I have left a horrid marriage, started my own business and feel more control of my life and content in my own skin than I ever have. I have had zero side effects from Prozac other than feeling generally numb and demotivated. I cannot be bothered working but know I have to in order to make money. The question I have is, has anyone just come off Prozac and coped? I appreciate the withdrawals will come but I want to try to just live with them until they are gone. Any advice or experiences that anyone could share would be appreciated!
  11. Hello everyone, I am another who was previously at another forum which has closed down. I'm very grateful that there is another good AD forum as I really don't want to be doing this alone. I already know a lot of other members here. My history in summary: 2001 Had a baby, a few days later got hit with severe anxiety and insomnia, diagnosed with post partum distress, anxiety, and hyperventilation syndrome. A psychiatrist prescribed Aropax (paroxetine), Mellaril (thioridazine - an anti-psychotic used as an anxiolytic at lower doses to cover the SSRI start-up) and zopiclone for sleep short-term. Stayed on Aropax for about six months then tapered off over a couple of months, with just a few mild withdrawal symptoms. 2003 Had second baby, repeat of above process but with Cipramil(citalopram) and midazolam for sleep. 2004 Had just got off citalopram when a very stressful situation occurred at my workplace (company was bought by two other companies and split, our part then integrated with one of the two buying companies). Spent a huge amount of energy and effort job-hunting and not coping well with the situation. Eight months of unrelenting stress later had a breakdown, similar symptoms to before, decided to go back on Aropax since it had worked well before (stupid, stupid). 2005-2006 Work situation still stressful, kept trying to taper dose down but couldn't cope below 10mg. 2007 Crashed at around 5mg, straight back to 20mg. A few months later searched the internet and found information about slow tapering. Began a slow taper which went well initially. 2008 Crashed around April after dropping from 5mg to 4.5mg. Went straight back to 5mg which didn't help. Went through a couple of months of pure hell (stupidly did not updose). Couldn't sleep, eat or keep still. Off-the-scale akathisia, didn't sleep for a whole week, couldn't keep anything down, spent my days and nights pacing around until my feet hurt and I couldn't even wear shoes. Began relaxation exercises which calmed things down enough to struggle through for a while but unable to work to support my family. Lots of pressure to get back to work. Updosed back to 10mg in June and 20mg in July. GP prescribed zopiclone for sleep, then psychiatrist prescribed Seroquel to switch over to from the zopiclone. Nasty drug, gave me big muscle twitches in my legs. Restabilised by October, tapered off Seroquel fairly quickly. Began tapering paroxetine again in December. 2009-2014 Tapered at a glacial pace, some years hardly dropped at all due to instability for months. Eventually was doing only 0.1mg drops and for a while 0.05mg drops which sound so tiny as to be ridiculous but I felt every drop. Was afraid of crashing again at 4.5mg but got through it and am now down to 3.45mg. Last drop was 0.15mg instead of 0.1mg as drops seem to be getting a little easier recently. Still very afraid of crashing. In 2011 decided I had to get out of my stressful job/career, felt like I would never get off meds as long as I stayed. The lower my dose got the more toxic the environment felt. I think the meds had helped me stay in the job by numbing me out somewhat. April 2011 was offered and took paid redundancy, 2012 back to uni to retrain as teacher, 2013-2014 unsuccessful job hunting, bits and pieces of part-time work, feeling mostly happy apart from worry about lack of income. No regrets about tossing old career in spite of not really having a new one. All in all, far too many years of having these meds in my life, rather over the whole thing by now. If you actually read all of this, you deserve a chocolate fish.
  12. Hi! I am a new member and found this group as I was searching the best way to taper from celexa. I have been on Celexa since 2017 for anxiety related to insomnia. I successfully tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg after I was on the drug for one year. As my anxiety reduced with getting better sleep, I found that 20 mg made me too groggy in the mornings. I successfully transitioned from 20 to 10 over four weeks with minimal side effects. I stayed on 10 mg for two years before increasing to 15 mg in June 2020 when my daughter was diagnosed with epilepsy. After three months, I felt calmer so I titrated back to 10 I alternating 1510 doses for two weeks with no side effects. I do want to mention that I was on ashwaghanda at that point which I had been on for years. in January 2021 I was feeling really stressed again so I went back up to 15 mg with no side effects. After three weeks my stress was noticeably less and I was trying to lose weight so I decided to go back to 10 mg. I did this cold turkey (as I had done a 5mg change in 2018) and suffered severe dizziness and heart palpitations for a month. I had forgotten how short of time I had been on the new dose and in hindsight I recognize that was much too quickly to change. I saw my doctor after four weeks of being on 10 mg and still experiencing moderate dizziness. He told me to reinstate to 15 mg which I did and again experienced severe dizziness even having my legs go out from underneath me once when I went to get up. The dizziness subsided after two weeks but I was still left feeling groggy in the mornings from the 15 mg dose as well as in the evenings. in late March my doctor told me that after being on 15 mg for four weeks I could again try tapering down using a 15 mg/ 10 mg alternating days schedule. I did this for five days before I felt very strong with drawl symptoms including jitteriness, difficulty finding words, twitching nerve under my eye, increased insomnia(waking up in the middle of the night, etc). I was not on ashwaghanda going into any of the 2021 titrations. I did use the pills a few times during my most recent titration as it seemed to help the symptoms at first but then I became concerned about mixing in this supplement but I was already having strong withdrawal effects. As of 4/1/21, I am now back on 50 mg and intend to stay here for a few months to allow my body to stabilize before trying to taper again. I’m planning to wait 2 months until 6/1 to try to taper again. My doctor suggested removing one 5 mg pill per week every three weeks when I try again. (Eg 10 mg on Monday, 15 mg every other day. Keep this pattern for three weeks. Then have Mondays and Thursdays at 10 mg for the next 3 weeks). i’ve read about the benefit of limiting tapering to 10% and support that idea. This program from my doctor would take me down no more than 10% per month when you average out the doses, but I wonder if it’s better to do a graduated taper like Brass Monkey outlined. Anyone have any thoughts? if I do the brass monkey method, do I literally crush up my Celexa pills into a powder and then weigh them or do I just cut off bits to try to get to the weight? Not sure how to physically execute this. I have 10 mg pills that I can easily cut in half, possibly into quarters. Would I need to get medicine from a compound pharmacy? I think I could go from 15 mg to 12.5 mg doses by cutting my pills. Appreciate any advice.
  13. Hello and nice to meet everyone. I have been reading as much as I can the past two days and feel like it is time to introduce myself. THANK YOU for everything you all have contributed, this site is a game changer. So many questions answered and a new journey begins. You can see my drug history and four month taper in my signature over the spring/summer (my psychiatrist at the time recommended two weeks, go figure). I had planned on a few crappy months going into this. Oh if I had only found this site first... Withdrawal didn’t kick in for at least two weeks, and slowly at first. I spent all of September and October dodging and weaving through good days and bad days, which I observed simply as “anxiety” (my original diagnosis) but with unusual physical symptoms. I journaled and kept calendar entries, mostly to record when I had to resort to Ativan (usually 0.5mg, occasionally 1mg). Other than for flight anxiety (two trips), I can count 17 times I took it over those two months, and only as a last resort. I had two sudden midnight “surges” (after feeling great) with shivers, out of control heart rate, even some diarrhea, which would last hours. I was convinced it was Serotonin Syndrome. The second one took me to urgent care the next morning for a heart checkup. A few days later a new psychiatrist then put me on Propranolol (beta blocker) as my primary concern was my heart. Propranolol immediately helped me observe and evaluate the “anxiety” I was experiencing which helped a lot. The new psychiatrist also had me stop 5-HTP after only a few weeks which was probably smart. I speak to him again this Friday, not sure what to share/ask given what I am learning here. I am now clear on the fact that I am riding waves of withdrawal symptoms, anxiety responds to the unusual feelings and emotions created by the withdrawal and adds its own icing to the cake, but I am focused on observing and not reacting, and doing my best to “ride it out”. The most unusual part of this “pattern” has been the timing of it all - usually kicking into high gear in the evenings after dark (earlier and earlier in my part of the world). I am nervous about traveling this weekend (short flight) but also realize I need to try and have as “normal” a life as I can stand under these conditions. My wife is awesome, understanding and super supportive. At 12 weeks in, I am not sure reinstatement is an option for me, even though I still have 5mg Trintellix in my drawer, and could try taking microdoses. Leaning toward a no, but I realize I may have run out of time to make that decision? I have read almost all the “required reading” but would still appreciate an opinion on that one. Also considering stopping my multivitamin, turmeric and mulberry leaf extract and taking only my “Super Omega-3 Plus” (Fish Oil) and picking up magnesium pills. I just started the Probiotic so I could drop it too, but not feeling like it would impact all of this either way? I am intrigued by the Reishi 415 blend to get some non-psychedelic mushroom love. Lastly my wife and I are thinking about therapeutic float tanks (she would love to do it again) and I have begun using our hot tub as part of my daily routine, along with many failed attempts at meditating. Anxiety was never something I handled well to begin with, and I realize now I must absolutely be on my game to dance this intricate dance. I will post any new thoughts, findings and curiosities on this thread as appropriate. I appreciate everyone’s support! PS- I opted to not use the appropriate abbreviations as I wanted to easily share this summary with family
  14. Hello. I’m new so will give a little background. I have been on roughly three SSRI’s since the age of about 22 (tapering off of one just to start on another ) I am 37 now. I had started on Lexapro for a tough time I was going through in which it did help me through, at that point I should have gotten off of it but never did. I stayed on it for about seven years then transitioned to Zoloft as I had developed stomach issues (ibs) in the time frame and was told Zoloft was better for that. After being on Zoloft for a few years I decided it was time to come off as I felt there was no reason for me to be on them anymore . I tapered down for about six months and within two weeks of coming off the pills I was back on them because of severe withdrawal. I stayed on Zoloft for a little while longer then eventually transitioned to celexa and was on it for a few years. Finally I decided that it was time to get off the meds for good. It has been 24 days since I took my last pill..I tapered down within three months, although I recently found out that that was probably way too fast even though I followed doctors instructions, regardless I have been off of them for almost a month now and it has been pure hell. Im teetering on going back on them but I want to be strong and hold out I just don’t know how long I can do it for. I have intense bursts of anger, extreme irritability, depression, random crying that has gone on every single day multiple times a day, nausea, extreme tiredness, no interest in doing anything, very bad gastrointestinal issues and the list goes on… is this normal!? I am almost at the month mark I thought for sure I would be past this now. It’s very discouraging because I have come this far but I don’t know how long I can hold out.
  15. Its only been a week since I started to tapper from 75mg Effexor-xr; am reducing 10% by removing 10 beads at at time. Only problem my memory generally is really bad. So I got a system going blue plastic container so I could see the tiny white beads; a small glass bottle to contain the unused beads. I take my tablet at night. I have just realised this morning that I have missed a capsule. I am shocked. So my question is what do you do when you realise you've missed a dose? Do you just keep on track and be aware that there might be a reaction ? (at some point?) and just keep going, maybe add a few more days to the end before tappering again? Thanks!!!!!
  16. Kostas

    ☼ Kostas

    Hi, I am Kostas from Athens Greece, and I would like to post my story. After suffering a burn out in my demanded post at work, not been able to eat, sleep, exhausted and non functional, was prescribed 20 mg citalopram. Started 10 mg for 1 week, and then 20. Side effects few and tolerable for 3 weeks, and then dramatic improvement and completely functional in week 8. Got them for 9 months, June 1994-march 1995. Then 10 mg for a month 5 for 2 months and off. Start relapsing after 2 months, and reinstated August 1995. 10 mg 1 week and then 20, August 95- August 96 Then tapering 6 months and off Feb 97. Very well till October 99, then relapse and reinstated 20 mg January 2000. On the drug Jan 00- September 01, Tapering 6 months, and off from March 02. Another relapse on October 03,and another reinstatement 20 mg, from October 03- October 05 Then, very slow tapering for 7 years October 05- October 12. 10mg 2006, 5 2007,2.5 2008, 2 2009, 1 2010, 0.5 2011, 0.25 2012. Off the drug from Oct 2012 till today. WD symptoms although not thought so back then, Nov 2012 slight tinnitus, till today June 2013, frequent urination and nocturia, much improved now. 2014 muscle tightness, and tired. Not too bad, but deterioration during stress. This continues on and off till today but have adjusted. June 2015 palpitations and arythmia for one month, and gone by then. October 2016,pain in the legs and shawder for a 2 months. April 2017, slight insomnia, agitation, tiredness, pain in the muscles and weak legs, agrivaded all symptoms under stress. Waves and windows till beginning of August, and improving now. Decided to try not to reinstate, since I am relatively functional 70%, but not happy with the situation! Any advice welcome!
  17. So I've read the article on waves and windows and it makes sense. I quit taking citalopram after being on it for five years plus on June 1st. I feel better some days but most days I'm just miserable. Doesn't seem fair. I just want to feel normal again. I keep telling myself that at the six month mark it will be way better for some reason. I am looking for hope. Please anyone that has found relief at the six month mark reply with your personal experience. I didn't do any taper just quit cold turkey. Didn't have any physical withdrawals at all. I sleep fine and have normal appetite I think because of my strict workout regimen but who knows. So no physical problems but just completely hopeless and down all the time
  18. So back in January Of 2020 I was put on celexa 40mg for anxiety, well on the 11th day I had some sort of reaction. I was walking into wal mart and everything went dreamlike And has stayed that way, I also haven’t had an appetite Since, I have had also light sensitivity, Anhedonia, Apathy,no desire, no motivation, digestive issues, Brain fog, headaches, cognitive impairment, memory loss, severe derealization that never goes away, tremors, leg pain, hearing problems, can’t eat certain foods or ill start shaking and get brain fog worse, not so great sleep, I took celexa 40mg for 11 days and stopped cold turkey on February 7 then on April 18 I went on Zoloft 50mg for one month and also stopped cold turkey. Afterwards I haven’t been on a single drug. I still have derealization and can’t stand it, I can’t feel the days or seasons anymore, I can’t feel much I feel detached and dead on the inside. I don’t enjoy anything, music, tv, just nothing, stomach never growls nor I never crave food. I’m nonfunctional I can’t work and I was a supervisor at the same job for 3 years. Is all this permanent. It’s been 7-8 months since celexa and derealization,
  19. Good books or review papers on antidpressant withdrawal? Hi All, I'm new here and will spending time reading the many posts, but I'd like to know what are the best books on guiding someone through antidpressant withdrawal. I'm also looking for scientific studies. I have "The Antidpressant Solution" by Joseph Glenmullen, which is good, but is there anything more recent? Thanks Bruci
  20. Hello I am new to this forum. I have a particular situation where I had cut down a long time ago from 10 mg of Celexa to 5 mg and was able to stay in that doe for a long time. However when I tried to discontinue...i had severe withdrawal symptoms. I went back to five and stayed on 5 for over a year. I had eye surgery due to glaucoma and I believe that the cortisone drops have created a cortisol dysfunction situation. It seems that when I have stress I begin to have withdrawal symptoms and increasing to 10 mg of Celexa works to ease the symptoms. I will like to eventually get off but now I feel stuck with the cortisol situation. I am taaking a leave from work soon to see if lower stress help with my situation. I believe that I am reacting to relatievely minor situations as if they were threatening. Any thoughts would be appreciated!
  21. I’ve always been an anxious person. However when my mum was getting diagnosed with lung cancer I hit an all time low April 2019. I had resisted antidepressants for years but felt maybe that was the time I needed to take them to try and help me cope with my mums diagnosis and what was to be a horrible journey leading to her death in August 2020. I tried citalopram first which didn’t go well, I ended up in A&E several times. My anxiety was so bad I couldn’t sit still, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, was Suicidal. It truly was the worst time of my life. Finally saw a psychiatrist after two weeks of no doctor being able to help me and drugging me up to the eyeballs with diazepam, zopiclone amongst other things. The citalopram was the problem and I was swapped to mirtazapine. Things got better and I managed to cope and support my mum until she passed. Mirtazapine numbed me, made my relationships with my 4 year old and partner difficult as I felt enraging anger everyday. I gained 3 stone and felt like a zombie most of the time. I decided mirtazapine was no longer helping me, it was making my life grieving and living more difficult so I decided to start tapering. I think I started around January 2020. 7 weeks to drop from 30mg - 15mg 4-8 weeks at 15mg 7 weeks to drop to 7.5mg 4 - 8 weeks at 7.5mg Then kept missing doses till I got to 0mg over about two weeks. After 3-4 days of taking 0mg of Mirtazapine I started to feel exhausted ill and my stomach felt terrible. With increasing levels of nausea and spells of anxiety and crying. I then caught COVID-19 and so for 10 days isolated feeling very ill. Nausea and anxiety increased and now at 4 weeks I’m not coping at all. I feel so sick I’m barely eating and dry heaving. Trouble sleeping although I am getting at least 5 hours a night. I’m so anxious, thoughts of my mum dying, cancer, feeling so nauseous. I’m feeling suicidal as I can’t cope any longer. First of all is this truely withdrawal and how long will this last? do I need to be on another antidepressant for the rest of my life?!?!
  22. I’ve been on both of these meds since I was 15 years old and I am now 21. Im scared to get off due to the side effects that may occur… I had a really scary episode of phycosis where I tried to harm myself but the doctors don’t know what lead to it and I think it may be the medications im on.. I don’t really know what to do anymore im on 10mg of citalopram currently and 75 of lamotrigine… please help. Im experiencing anxiety and panic attacks at this time which I have never experienced before..
  23. Hello. New her and was referred to this site from Patient Betsey0603. Thank you. I am in the process of switching over from Celexa to fluoxetine in the last couple months. I have been on 20mg of each of those for the last 5 weeks trying to get through the holidays. Was suppose to go from 40mg celexa to 20, with 20mg of fluoxetine then drop to 10mg celexa to 40mg fluoxetine. I went for 1 night with that and was a nightmare. So Ive stayed on the 20mg of each up until yesterday where i dropped the celexa down to 10mg, 20mg fluoxetine. Instructed after 1 week to drop the celexa and up the fluoxetine to 40mg. The last few weeks have been bad. Heart pressure, sweating, brain out of it and so on, etc. I am a TBI survivor from 2012 who also takes Tegretol XR 500mg morning, 600mg at night for seizures and clonazepam 1 mg at night to sleep. So sick of meds and am afraid to even talk to my neuroligist and physciatrist in fear they will add something or change in the future. Im just throwing this out there as my first post. Anyone made the switch from celexa to fluoxetine? Thank you
  24. Hi everyone (sorry for the misspellings and bad grammar - I'm from Denmark). Started on citalopram in 2010/2011 after a longer period of anxiety, where I was afraid that I was going insane. Checked my self for symptoms that I was about to go insane, had anxiety all the time, could'n sleep and could not relax as I constantly had and "what if"-thoughts. I didn't really share it with anyone - just hoped that it would pass. I can't remember exactly when I started on citalopram, but It was after visiting my parents for Christmas where I just started crying and was doing really bad. year. I went to see a GP, and I was put on citalopram (after my own wish, because I just wanted to get better). I didn't get any sessions with a pshycologist until later, and not until I was on 40 mg. I stayed on that dose for a while and then went to a pshycologist. After that I slowly started to feel better and was able to taper to 30 mg, to 20 mg without any problems. A couple of years ago i went down to 10 mg. This was a little harder, but at that time I didn't know about withdrawal. I have been feeling good these past years (still had some problems with tiredness and I have to watch my wieght). I have been talking with a GP every year at checkups about the possibility of me starting to taper, but I haven't feelt that it was the right time until now. So in may ad the advise of my GP I started to skip doses. That didn't go well. I got irritated at my girlfriend, had inner restlessness, burning sensation in the arms, started to having trouble to sleep and about a week after i started to taper I was just feeling overwhelmed and had a feeling of panick once in a while. Then I upped my dose by switching between 10 and 5 mg every other day. That helped, and I started to sleep better and experiencing the windows. But I was afraid that I would screw up the when to take 10 or 5 mg, so I'm now cutting my 10 mg pill into qaurters to take 7,5 mg a day. It seems like I got hit again with the same problems as when i skipped doses. It's a long time since I started on citalopram, but I'm pretty sure that this i withdrawal and not a relapse, because it feels so different from back then. I'm now 35, and I would like to hear if anybody else has had the same problems with skipping doses and cutting in quarters that I have? And where to go from now? I have an appointment with a psychologist in Denmark who is writing a Phd on withdrawal, and I hope that he will be able to get me in the right direction. Kind regards from Denmark
  25. Hello all. I have been following on this forum for the last couple of months on and off. I have been on Citalopram for nearly 11 years. I am 25 years old now. Quick history. Always been a bit anxious. Even as a kid. Had severe migraines from age 4 till 10 , then they stopped TOLD i had ADD. Put on ritalin at 7 years old for 2 weeks. ZOMBIE! taken off Ritalin. Love life and family and friends. Quite an emotional, caring individual. FAST FORWARD....Aged 14 felt overly guilty and anxious over child hood life event. Went to doc, said i might have OCD. Put me on 60mg Citalopram. Didn't notice any difference in anything being on med. Aged 19 went cold turkey cause of OCD symptoms tried to change to another drug Mirtazapine. ANXIETY 10/10 and Panic attacks. Then back on to 60 MG after a few days after symptoms of withdrawal began. Stabilized i think within a few weeks bit still felt crap for a good while. Not 100% for next few years but ok. Can feel drug messing with me. Making me anxious for no reason. Have to keep active and busy and I'm ok. Slowly over 2 years went from 60mg to 45 mg . All good. Decide due to weird randomized anxiety, lack of tears etc that i want to come off these drugs, and i know i can. Anyway i then go from 45mg to 40mg and severe withdrawal within a week. Dropped from 50mg to 45mg within 5 weeks. Insanely nasty neuro-emotional symptoms. Only symptoms are ever really Anxiety and Panic.. Chuck in a bit of hopelessness and some depression on the side.. . . . Tend to feel better by evening almost normal .. just a bit dazed and confused. Anyway i waited it out thinking it will go. Got some nice long windows of a week or more feeling almost good way clearer than I've felt in years, more alive, more real. Things feel better! things are more beautiful. Music sounds better. Everything is more beautiful But then BOOOOOMMMM!!! Anxiety back with a vengeance. Thought i noticed waves getting shorter and windows a bit longer but not significant enough to tell, and then after 10-11 weeks after my symptoms first appeared i updosed cause i needed a break. Updose felt WEIRD.. Within 4 hours of the extra 5mg i felt hazy, cloudy and drowsy.. Had insomnia that first night , still anxious but not as intense. Next couple days slightly better - Mild, consistent anxiety but not too bad. Manage to sleep well now.. Thought i had restabilized. Day 5 after updosing felt 95% back to normal. BUT last 3 days have been crap. Anxiety back. One week after updosing. Not AS INTENSE, hasn't got that razor sharp edge to it that it had before, but uncomfortable none the less. My question to anyone out there with this kind of experience is ... Would this anxiety be caused by the withdrawal still, or the updosing of the tablets? As I've read that increasing SSRI dose can cause anxiety for the first few weeks.. And can it take a while to re-stabilize after updosing?? considering i tried to tough out the withdrawal for nearly 3 months... One more thing. No overly negative stories please. I believe and i know that i can heal from this. Kindest regards and thankyou for your responses Nick
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