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  1. Junglechicken

    ☼ Junglechicken

    Hi, I joined this forum today and wanted to introduce myself. All it took was a family trauma to set off my depression/anxiety (my father's inability to stop spending money he didn't have, led to no money and my having to pay for my parents housing etc.,). I have suffered from underlying depression and anxiety for many years but managed to keep a lid on it by exercising and I guess being younger and able to forget the darker stuff by clubbing and going out. Then 6 years ago hubby and I moved to Canada from the UK and I dive-bombed into hell. Daily panic attacks at home and work, I was bullied at numerous work places as well as dealing with the work pressure, feeling of isolation and no support network. Then in June I lost my job and have been more or less house bound with the exception of having to go out to do chores. Went to my doctor who prescribed Cipralex (Feb 2014) - I was on it for 18 months in total and came off it mid-September 2015 after a 3 month taper at 5mg. This happened after I had got a job at a large company (Nov 2013), and I had to take 3.5 months medical leave. Upon my return to work, I was met with resentment and disdain by my colleagues who saw it that I was just looking to get "free vacation" time. This made my life even more hellish - my Manager had wanted to get rid of me upon my return but couldn't by law. I lost my job about a year after returning to work due to redundancy. Since then I have experienced extreme fatigue (had to stop marathon training), intense muscle and joint soreness, weird dreams, tinnitus, headaches, sinusitis, pressure changes in my ears and ear pain, sub-clinical migraines, crying spells, GI issues, heightened anxiety and depression. Despite these things, doctors never seem to find anything actually wrong with me. I honestly feel as though I am in hell - I feel as though someone has taken a photocopy of me and the photocopy is a completely different person (withdrawal). The weekdays are a drag, and I dread them as my hubby is at work. I fear the worst will happen while he is away. I am a total basket case and freak out very easily if there is a withdrawal symptom I don't recognise. If I can survive this, I can survive anything.
  2. Hello to all, just found this site and I thought it might be helpful in my case. For a little more than a week I'm experiencing insomnia (wake up after 5 hours, today only slept few hours..), headache, lack of concentration, lack of appetite appeared yesterday. Times of crying, when I think about something emotional. I quit drugs in May this year, under supervising, but I think it's a relapse happening right now, right? Can you please give any comments on my situation according to the drug story? I feel very scared about what to do next. Don't want to go back to medication, but afraid that it could get worse the symptoms... Appreciate for any help! Sincerely
  3. Mort81

    Mort81

    Hello everyone glad I found somewhere to find good information and support . I'll just give a little introduction. I've been off Ciprelex 30mg for 6 months now after being on the ssri for 7 years.The side effects were far out weighing the benefits. My doctors seemed clueless when it came to the tapering, from what I know now as well as the withdrawal I am currently feeling . I tapered fairly fast from what I read on this forum.My main symptom at first was abdominal pain,panic, discomfort and very poor digestion. I lost 30 lbs in the first month and I know for some people that's good but for my build, not so good. Most of my symptoms at first were digestive related and my doctors didn't suggest withdrawal. Has anyone in here experienced horrible digestive issues right away ? So I had a million tests run, which came with months of worrying about every disease in the book. My tests came back clean which was good. However I am still feeling alot of discomfort, sensitivity in the stomach(feels like I'm bruised) coupled with fatigue, vivid dreams and insomnia. I have been experiencing all this while working a Fulltime job, which I love. I have missed more days than I wanted to for the obvious reasons. However I've decided to ask for time off because my body hasn't recovered and I feel the only way for a better recovery is to get away from my schedule and take extra time for myself. I see two different doctors. The one I saw today wants me to start a pain med and believes my stomach pain is related to migraines I used to get, which at times still show up. I am so scared of all medication but want this stomach pain to go away. I have improved over the 6 months so I'm leaning towards staying the natural course. Does 5HTP help for withdrawal?? After all the suffering I have gone through in the last 6 months you would think my doctor would give a note to go on sick leave,but apparently that's like pulling teeth. They just see a healthy young man complaining . Either way I need time for myself and recovery and sorry if I'm ranting. I'm glad to be hear in this forum and look forward to have a place for support and information because I feel my doctors are out too lunch on this topic. Mort
  4. Hello, I really appreciate seeing everyone's stories and strategies, and it helps to know that I'm not alone. I am in my late 20s and have been on and off many meds since a hospitalization for depression in 2005. By fall of 2016, when I started the “taper”, I was on 4 medications: Cipralex 20mg, Adderall 30-40 mg, Abilify 2mg and Wellbutrin SR 200 mg. The first 3, I think I was taking for around 2 years after numerous failed treatments including various meds and rTMS; however, I have been taking the Wellbutrin for 12 years. On that regimen of 4, from something like 2014-2016, my mood was generally in-check but my life was beginning to fall apart. I graduated and got a full time job in the summer of 2016, but I was having horrible energy crashes randomly during the day. Sometimes I couldn't keep my eyes open or stay seated. I struggled socially. My memory and attention were affected, and I would cry randomly. I had trouble believing it could be from the meds because they were supposed to do the opposite. In Sept 2016, I was off work and on disability. It was an incredibly confusing situation, and everyone, including myself, blamed my brain. Soon after that I began having a gradual and profound shift in perspective as I realised that meds may have been more of a problem for me than a solution. At some point in the fall of 2016, I started my withdrawal journey. First, I stopped the Cipralex over a few weeks, and became incredibly anxious. It was really horrible; I would get spells of pacing and yelling at myself. I couldn't meditate or do anything to calm down anymore. After a few months of that, I then tapered the adderall over around a month. At that point, I became really exhausted, was getting frequent (but not ER level) suicidal thoughts, and had trouble doing anything. I eventually got accepted for a volunteer job to which I had previously applied, and reinstated half of the adderall to function. However, I was scared that the tolerance crashes might come back, so my doc switched me to Vyvanse 20-30 mg. It was smoother but I was still concerned that it was not a long-term solution. I finished the volunteer job, then I read about things that other people had tried and decided to do some lifestyle changes. I stopped sugar and gluten and got outside a lot. Then I tapered both the vyvanse and the abilify at the same time over around 2 months. It was not as bad this time, and after a few more months off of them, I was mostly able to concentrate and wasn't getting very many dark thoughts. My emotional depth and variety, as well as cognition, were even beginning to improve. Once I could sort of focus again, I decided to try the paleo/keto diet and taper the wellbutrin. The problem with wellbutrin is that I have unsuccessfully tried to stop it numerous times over the past decade by following the traditional taper advice. Each time ended with me falling into an awful depression a few weeks later, and eventually back onto the med. I had been convinced that this was evidence of a chronic underlying depression, but now reading other people's stories, I'm going to be optimistic and assume that it was delayed withdrawal. So, I felt a little better on the paleo diet and dropped the WB dose from 200 mg to 100 mg on Oct 25, 2017 (right before I found this forum). I then became very sluggish with low motivation, but after a few weeks I was able to get out of bed in the morning again and do a few things. It's been 5 weeks now and no terrible-delayed-withdrawal-depression yet. I'm mostly just tired with trouble getting started on tasks. I asked for an extension on my leave from work to finish sorting this out. Surprisingly though, my difficulty connecting with people and obsessive thinking are improving in intermittently - I'm not sure yet if that's from going off the meds or from the changes in diet, but I greatly welcome it. By reading other people's success stories here, I learned that my best chance at becoming free from the Wellbutrin is to do the rest of my taper extremely slowly. I have an appointment with my doc next week to make a plan. This doc is good so it should go okay. I would be interested to hear anything from you!
  5. After successfully being on 20mg citaloprom having become depressed after the sudden death of my mother for about 8 years it pooped out sending me into dizziness,panic attacks etc for a couple of weeks then I felt fine. That was about 2 years ago. Three months later developed rash on face and diarrhoea, sleep disturbances, cramps and bruising on arms. Put on different drugs by gp none of which got rid of these symptoms then gp decided it was probably anxiety so prescribed ssri's again. Each one he tried me on I had dreadful reactions to. Sent to a psychiatrist who prescribed cipralex in drop form to build up slowly and then my hell for the past two and a half years started. From the onset of taking the drug increasing by one drop every third day I would have 24 hour panic/anxiety no appetite nausea fatigue. This went on for about three months and then what I now know as a window appeared for about a week only to plunge straight down again. That is how my life has been until last summer my gp told me I needed to see a psychologist as still suffering badly. Rang my psychiatrist to ask him and he said he felt my problems were not in the head but probably systemic so to see an endocrinologist. After various tests for adrenal thyroid etc he said all fine but felt steroid inhaler I had been on for about 4 years could be causing problems. Looked up side effects of inhaler and yes skin rash anxiety etc all matched. September last year came off the rash, cramps etc all disappeared and even put on a few of the 10 pounds weight I had lost since this started. Felt fine for a couple of weeks then crash back into another wave and that is how it has been ever since with severe waves of anxiety, loss of appetite, nausea, extreme fatigue. Then paid privately to see a gp in the hope he would help. His decision was the cipralex was aggravating me and to stop the eight drops a day immediately. I dropped a drop every two days and felt brilliant for five weeks apart from the brain zaps, nightmares,insomnia, dizziness then back came the raging anxiety, extreme fatigue, panic, nausea, loss of appetite. I have given in this morning and taken two drops of cipralex I don't know if I have done a stupid thing or not, whether it is too little or I should have just suffered for longer. Since this first started I seem incapable of taking any drugs or antibiotics without severe reaction Can anyone help?
  6. Hey everyone! Around a week ago I posted a topic about me having been on 2.5mg of Cipralex for 7 weeks after cutting down from 20mg slowly since the beginning of the year. Everything went well till I dropped to 2.5mg and felt absolutely horrible since then. Then around a week ago I decided to reinstate back up to 5mg because I think I still need to take it and use it in conjunction with therapy. Now it's been 8 days that I've been taking 5mg again and I feel horrible since yesterday. I feel like I'm going crazy. I also have other huge anxieties and headaches and stomach ache. How long is this gonna last till I stabilize again? I thought I would feel better going back up to 5mg but I feel absolutely horrible. I don't know what to do anymore I just want to feel better... any help would be appreciated...
  7. Hey everyone! I really need some answers because I've looked everywhere to try and find one answer which can relate to my question but sadly to no avail. I was on 20mg Cipralex for 7 years due to general anxiety disorder. I was feeling better last year so decided this year in February I would start tapering and weaning off. It all went great until roughly 7 weeks ago when I went from 5mg to 2.5mg. Withdrawal has hit me hard and I have been off work since then. My question is basically, after now 7 weeks is it safe to go back up to 5mg from 2.5? I felt fine on 5mg hence me wanting to move back up to it. And how long will it take for the WD symptoms to go away or just for me to feel better cos currently I'm just having a hard time functioning. I'm afraid of everything basically. Thank you for any reply
  8. Hey, I want to intodruce myself on this site because I´m suffering a lot from the Paxil withdrawal even though I have not taken Paxil for a very long time. I was prescribed to Paxil in January 2016 because of a Burn Out / Depression. While Cipralex has not taken the huge panic from me when my Depression/Burn Out started my Doctor said we should try Paxil. My mood was very quickly a lot better with the help of Cipralex but the panic was huge. I´ve never experienced a depression in my life so it was very frigthening to feel such a huge impact in such a negative way. Anyways after about 1 Month on Cipralex my doctor decided to switch on Paxil because "he made good experiences" with this drug. I asked him on which dose I should take it whereon he answered that 40mg should be fine. At this time I had no experiences with Antidepressents so I completly trusted his words and I took my first pill. I remember the first day on Paxil I woke up in the middle of the night and my whole body was tingling and I´ve sweated a lot. There were a few more symptoms but I can´t really remember this time. So after 5 month on 40mg I decided to quit Paxil. (See from my signature) As the symptoms from my depression slowly dissapeared I felt more and more that new symptoms are getting stronger. At this time I thought that I still suffer from my depression and that it will never ever end although I was doing sports at least 3 times a week and going to the psychologist once a week to talk about my problems which really helped me in a way. It´s hard to put my thoughts and epxeriences since 2015 in proper english so I hope you guys can understand me. So in October 2016 I found a german forum for problems with antidepressent and they were very helpful with me and my symptoms. This was the first time someone told me how dangerous Paxil can be and how tremendous the effects to some people on paxil are. They also tried to convince me to taper the drug really slowly off but I thought the earlier my body is clear from this drug the earlier I get my old life back. The impact when I stopped taking Paxil 6 month ago were massive. While tapering it off it was really hard sometimes as well but the time I reached 0mg felt like the hell on earth. I wake up every morning with the feeling I just came out of a night club where I drank a bottle of vodka and snorted 1 g of cocaine. These are the symptoms I suffered the whole time on paxil. Some became stronger the lower I got, some started to fade away and some dissapeared. I copied some from a success story because it is exactly the same hope its okay: Dark depression, anxiety, paranoia, obsessive compulsive, panic attacks, intrusive/obsessive thoughts that tortured me, hopelessness, irrational thinking, suicidal thoughts, brain zaps, intense organic fear, severe inner-body tension that felt like my whole insides were clamped up, sexual dysfunction, severe tension, terrible shoulder and upper arm pain, mania, nausea, dizziness, vertigo, feeling like my brain was on fire, feeling like a part of my brain was missing, lots of preassure in my head, floating head feeling, body temperature regulation problems – being super-hot or cold, constipation, dehydration, lack of appetite, feeling dead, anhedonia, akathisia, mood swings, insomnia, terrible brain fog and inability to think clearly, sensitive vision and hearing, inching and burning skin, cold like symptoms, head congestion, phantom smells, constant tinnitus, severe fatigue and exhaustion, health anxiety, my brain was not able to give the "command" watch left before you cross the street even though I know how to do it ?!, derealization, feeling of never getting healthy again, feeling quite healthy for a few days and then feeling like dying again, intense nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night sweaty with delusions and disorientation, sometimes things seemed to moved very slowly or a street looked like it never ends or I was walking treadmill. As I said some dissapeared but some like the derealization or the dizziness, mood swings, ear buzzing, brain fog and so on are still there. But I´ve the windows and waves which is a good sign, right? I´m writing you because I can´t find something similar in the german forum. Next to the symptoms above I´m suffering a lot from Injuries. Almost every month I have a new injury and today I´m not able to do any sports because of the inflammation of my muscles and tendons. Sport was the only thing besides meditation which helped me to cope with the symptoms. A few days ago I was at my doctor again and we did a full blood analysis. He called me one day later and told me that my blood is totally fine but my CK-Level is very high (1200) normal is ca 200. I called a neurologist which checked me at the same day with a few standard tests. They were all good as well. Last year I checked my thyroid & my brain with MRT everything completely normal. Do you have experiences with injuries during wd? Is it normal to suffer a lot from Paxil even though I´ve taken it only for 1 year? I read that Paxil can cause damage on the immune system? Is this the reason for my injuries? If my immune system is damaged, is it for ever or can it heal like the brain? Best regards, Maggie
  9. Hi Everyone, I want to start off saying by what an incredibly tough journey we're all going through... and I'm sorry for all of us here... These drugs were advertised to help our mental health; when in fact it damages our brain, especially when used for long periods. I don't even know what to see, other than the fact I feel pretty hopeless after reading so many articles about brain damage that these drugs did to us (mainly SSRIs). I tried stopped this medication in my mid-20s but eventually relapsed due to the terrible withdrawal symptoms. This time around in May 2017, after reading and acknowledging what these drugs do to us, seeing my drive and passions slowly fade away since I started, I decided it was time to stop poisoning myself. Currently, I feel these effects every day: 1) cognitive problems involving memory , learning, and focus 2) apathy, and lack of anyenjoyment for life 3) deterioration of emotional wellness, and unable to handle stress I am currently 30 years old, but feel my brain has rotted immensely. I truly was a talented individual growing up, was always quick witted, fast, and excelled highly in my activities and passions. Now I feel like I have cognitive function of a mentally disabled person. I feel so hurt, and angry and hopeless about what has happened... that I allowed myself to take this poison for ~10 years, listening to doctors that didn't really have an IDEA about the damage that these drugs could pose in the long-run. We are the guinea pigs that have to suffer, and there does not seem to be an end in sight. This makes me wonder if I have to start my medication again eventually to not feel like walking death every day I wake up. I'm trying to fight this... but there is just more and more recent data about what these drugs do to us long-term and I believe it has caused me brain atrophy... Please, I would love to hear some feedback and Idk, can we start fighting these Big Pharmas or are we just a big experiment for them to profit from? Regards, Ethan (PS: If there is any other info you guys which me to provide, I can do so gladly.)
  10. Cipramillion

    Cipramillion: Cipralex

    Hi all! Been hanging around and read up on some of the great posts on this forum over the last week. Impressive work! My english is not that good, so pls bear with me. Here is a summary of my medical background/history. My problems startet after an acute reaction to a vaccine i took 3 months ago. A few weeks later i also found out that i had an Epstein Barr infection, most likely during the same period that i took the vaccine. My symptoms after taking the vaccine were severe with extreme depression, anxiety, fatigue, insomnia and generally feeling very ill. My doc think i might have developed chronic fatigue syndrom/ME as a result of the vaccine/infection, but at this point nothing is certain. I have no previous history of psychiatric problems or other somatic illness. I lived a happy life with my family and enjoyed my work fully at 100%. Now i cant work at all, and the situation is tough with two small kids to look after. As a result of my symptoms, which didnt seem to stabilize after 2 months, i aggreed starting treatment with Cipralex (Lexapro/escitalopram) 5mg. My doc told me to increase the dose to 10mg after 3 days, which i did not do. I noticed just after the first couple of days that i was sensitive to the medication and had lots of side effects (headache, feeling dizzy, mild depersonalization etc). Then tried to stabilize at 5mg for 3 weeks. Felt a bit better the second week, more energy and better mood, but still the side effects were bothersome. I changed to the original brand after using the generic for the first week. It helped a bit on the side effects. Also got parasthesia, a burning sensation in the body and face. Feeling very warm and uncomfortable. Sporadic panic anxiety. So after 3 weeks i decided to reduce the dose to 2.5 mg after discussing this with my doc. I told him to prescribe the liquid version (Lundbeck), which only comes in 20mg/1Ml in Europe, but still makes it more accurate for 2.5 mg. Im not sure how to use this at lower doses. He was a bit puzzled about my sensitivity to the medication. Probably need to take a CYP test to see if im a poor metabolizer. I`ve noticed that im very sensitive in general after i got sick. Cant drink anything with caffeine now. Sugar is also no good. Before i used to drink a lot of coffee. Now i cant take a sip without getting restless and almost dizzy from it. Anyway. After the dose reduction i startet to feel a lot of naseau and dizziness, and after 2 days i woke up in the middle of the night with fast heartbeat and lots of anxiety. My first thought was that this probably was withdrawal from the dose reduction, which surprised me after just taking 5 mg over 3 weeks. I felt better over the next few days, but still got lots of headaches, dizziness and not feeling very well. Depressive thoughts and feelings of hopelessness. This was also something i did experience before i took the medication, but somehow it feels a bit different now. Before i would be having crying spells regularily, not happening much now. Feels like everything is more locked up inside. I think the medication does some job at keeping my emotional reaction at bay here.I`ve also been sleeping better after starting taking the medication. Before i barely slept for 2-3 hours pr night. I still wake up a lot, also have very vivid dreams. Im able to fall asleep again after i wake up, which was more difficult before. Im not sure what to do next. I dont think my reactions to Cipralex is good for me, and i really want to stop, but im also very scared of withdrawal symptoms. Feel a bit trapped here. Should i increase the dose just a bit (3,5mg) to help with the withdrawal? Or should i just wait and see if i stabilize before eventually taper down more slowly?
  11. Hi all, This is my I don't know, 6th? Maybe 7th? Time coming off of cipralex. I have been trapped over the last four years in a cycle of stopping and starting the medication and this past time taking it I became so suicidal that I had to stop cold turkey from 10 mg. I am also taking lithium which I will remain on until I have discussed being weaned off of it and reassessed with my doctor(I say my symptoms match PMDD and seasonal affective disorder with social anxiety more closely than bipolar disorder). Lithium makes me violently sick all night and morning almost every day for over a year now and the worst part is that it doesn't do anything useful for me as I've only experienced manic symptoms when taking antidepressants. I'm feeling frustrated the last few days. I had for whatever reason had this timeline for myself where I would be in the gym doing light exercise by now, getting some peer support and seeing friends. Meditating and living healthier. Instead my days are saved for napping to make up for how horribly I slept the night before. I have to keep cancelling appointments because sleep is more important. And I'm always in pain. I'm frustrated this process takes so long. Between the vomiting, the insomnia and the pain I don't even know how anyone makes it getting off these meds. The emotional spirals every day and cognitive problems.. I was staying positive but it's hard right now.
  12. Since my Intro thread seems to have disappeared, this is my new one... What led me to this world of AD's and Benzos was a panic disorder, more than 10 years ago. And the PD was triggered by anxiety and depression. I'm not sure even by these days if that anxiety brought depression, if depression brought anxiety, or both came at same time. But my better guess is that anxiety showed up first and triggered all the rest. Anyway, after many drugs taken such as Paroxetine, Venlafaxine (both caused me severe adverse reactions), Moclobemide, Mirtazapine, Alprazolam, Midazolam, Mexazolam, Diazepam, you name it, eventually I could stabilize with Escitalopram and Ethyl Loflazepate. Two years ago I started to take Mirtazapine to helps me sleep. I had some problems at work and my sleep was affected. Last November, due some problems (also in my job, but there was more...) I started to feeling more anxious and I can´t sleep...and the whole thing started again. I took Levomepromazine to helps me sleep and my former Psychiatrist told me to stop Mirtazapine. Didn´t work since I felt numb all day long. So I came back to Mirtazapine and started to take Clonazepam. When I knew this site I still tried to drop off Clonazepam, but it was very thoug. However, I already reduced Clonazepam from 2 mg to 1.6 mg as well Escitalopram from 10 mg to 9 mg and now I'm holding, as you can see on my signature. That being said, let me continue with my journal... I´ve been noticed one thing, first I didn´t pay attention but now I thought it could be interesting: in the morning I feel more depressed, with all regrets I have, all intrusive thoughts, stuff like that... Later in the day I start to feel better, despite becoming a little bit more anxious since about 5 p.m until I take Clonazepam at night (as discussed on my benzo thread). Let´s say, my best time in day is in the range 1 p.m - 5 p.m. and the mornings always are more complicated. When I just awake all seems to be hard... Is there any explanation for this?
  13. Hi! English is not my native language and I apologise in advance. Started cipralex 20mg in 2013 and i ended the treatment in february 2017 total of 4 years. I did a quick taper of 2 weeks. Immediate symptoms: Brain zapps/body zapps, crippling anxiety and depression, could not leave bed literally for 2 weeks. For me the biggest problem were the brain zapps/body zapps wich are still ongoing. The zapps lasted every single second for 7 weeks (with an exception will explain later in post) it never stoped it kept me up at night and when I fell asleep these zapps would wake me up. I was sure my life was over as it did not seem to stop and if it would have lasted longer I would most likely have ended it. I am sure allot of you here can rellate to this. For the first time in my life I had become suicidal. So what temporarily cured it? Running did, within 10-15 seconds of starting to run they went away. And immediately came back a few seconds after I stoped running. So I was running twice a day morning and evening and rest of the day i was walking, all day long i stayed mobile it was the only way I could get some sort of relief from these horrendous zapps. So my advice for anyone who might experiencing this for temporal relief is to get your pulse and heartrate up and really get going. As I said wile I was running it cured the zapps 100%. For referance I am a long time runner for many years running 80km/50miles a week +. And as fast as these zapps came it suddenly stoped being constant and I got a few an hour, then less and less. They are still here gets worse at evening and less at middle of the day. Lack of sleep,anxiety and being in a depressed mood triggers it. Also if I keep focusing on these symptoms they get worse. By staying active and distracting myself and training for around 2 hours a day keeps these zapps at a minimal. But they come and go and are really unpredictable. Its been 6 month and my brain still does not feel right, in all honesty I feel like I might have gotten some sort of brain damage,at times I can literally feel pain inside my head a wery uncomfortable feeling. Like the brain is waking up after many years of being in a sleep and is struggling to keep up. But I try not to think of that and try to make my life as best as possible living in the moment keep training and hoping all these strange head sensations will go away some day. My doctor and my psychologist have never had any of their patient complain about these symptoms. My psychiatrist whos been in the business for 30 years has never had a single patient mention this to him and he had only heard about these so called brain zapps. And basicly every health proffesionall I have seen about this say the same thing, that it is some sort of stress response and it will pass soon..... Lets hope for the best.
  14. JustCallMeJane

    JustCallMeJane: introduction

    Hello all, Long time user of antidepressants, on and off from age of 7. Officially diagnosed MDD, PTSD; non-official (personal belief) BPD. Started last "round" of antidepressants 12 years ago, haven't been off since. I was put on Effexor 75mg, working up to 300mg. It stopped working after a few years and was switched to Cipralex. Started that at 5mg, worked up to 20mg, then began the "wanting to be off" stage a few years ago. Tapered it slowly back down to 5mg, before having a suicide attempt, putting me right back solid on meds, back up to 20 mg. Early spring of this year, meds stopped working again and asked for something to help boost the original benefits I felt. Was put on Wellbutrin as an accompanying drug to the Cipralex. Had been on Cipralex 20mg and Wellbutrin 150mg since. That is until end of October, early November when suicidal ideation became extreme and I was having acid reflux almost 24/7. Typically I get AR on nights when I have eaten too much, and 4 extra strength Gaviscon is enough to get rid of symptoms. For almost a week I was eating 25-30 tablets of Gaviscon daily, plus Zantac 150mg twice daily with no relief. I made an emergency appointment to get 2 weeks worth of Ativan, 0.5mg sublingual. In the past, the Ativan calmed me, however this time it didn't even have any effect. The AR continued, blood pressure had risen drastically to 185/94, and anxiety was at an all-time high. A week after starting the Ativan, I had missed a few days of meds, from lack of sleep, brain being foggy, or absentmindedness, I'm unsure, but those first missed doses were unintentional. Having had no adverse reaction from missing these doses, I stupidly decided not to restart the meds. For the remainder of November, with the exception of being easily weepy, I had no withdrawal symptoms. Sleep patterns were the same. Eating patterns remained highly carb influenced, but stable, as well as the suicidal ideations began to lessen. Also, the AR had disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. Then, about 10 days ago, all that changed. I will do my best to explain my symptoms: agitation, easily fly off the handle for no apparent reason brain zaps, brain fog, lack of concentration (this post has taken a LONG time to write) blood boiling, skin crawling, jitteriness, "wired for sound" feeling shivering cold, shaking/trembling then suddenly the opposite, where I feel I need to remove all articles of clothing (and peel off skin) to cool down mid sleep (3-4am) waking in pure anxiety, fight or flight response, needing to get up and walk around extreme fatigue RLS, day or night For me, the worst symptoms are the brain zaps, jitteriness, shivering feelings. I wish I could explain it and will have to somehow do so in my appointment with my doctor next week, but it's almost as if I'm on fire from the inside. Not hot, perse, but electrical sensation, while being frozen ... I'm sitting here, in a house whose furnace is set to 70f (21c), with a ceramic furnace directly in front of me set to 74f (23c), slippers and house robe on, and I'm shivering, yet my veins feel like the blood is boiling inside. My heart is pounding and feels like it skips a beat. My senses feel heightened, almost in a paranoid sense, sort of the same way I've felt in the past on very little sleep. I have no other symptoms, no headaches, eye sensitivity, back pains, no pains at all. My symptoms seem to be internal sensations. Hopefully, this makes sense to someone here. I know my doctor, along with several I've seen over the years, do not understand mental issues and trying to describe internal sensations to someone like that is nearly impossible.
  15. Hi there, I am glad that I found this forum and as I am at a very desperate state in my life right now - I am glad that I can find some people relating to my topic. I have first been prescribed Cipralex 5 mg about 10 years ago, when I was 20. I changed from high school to university and started having panic attacks from time to time and a very weird way of feeling myself (like being in a vacuum). Looking back, it was not THAT horrific but a general practitioner prescribed it to me after having a 10 minute-chat with me. I didn´t have any idea what antidepressants were back then - also he did not tell me anything about it. So I took it. I must say that - whether it was placebo or not - it helped. So I got off them (5mg, very small dose). 2 years later I had a similar phase, already working at an agency where I experienced panic attacks and felt very anxious in general. So I thought to myself: Hey that stuff worked the first time - I´ll take that again. I don´t really know if it did anything for me this time because I also quit my job and took a long vacation - I guess that would have done it as well. After maybe a little less than a year I quit again - this time it seemed harder. I always tapered - even with this little dosage. When I quit- the first time in my life ever, I had sort of depressive phases. But it went away. Then again some years later I had a very stressfull time in my life and a trigger-event that got me really freaked out and depression kicked in ...this time I did not want to start medication again but I could not see another way. thankfully shortly after I found my coaching technique that reeeallyyy helped a lot, did some family constellations and really started to understand the whole reason WHY I was dealing with all those problems. I understand now and I don´t feel crazy anymore for having experienced what I have experienced. But okay. So at the maximum I took 10 mg of Cipralex ( i always refused the neurologists wish of taking more and more) because I did not feel that the antidepressants helped. While taking 10 mg I still had very depressive phases, so I thought: Okay, if I take more, will it get better or will I just be damaging my body more and more? I continued working with my coach, working on myself, getting to know myseld and really digging into the hurtful past and reasons. This helped A LOT and was the only reason I felt better. So soon I reduced again to 5mg ( in steps) Eeeevery time I reduced my dose I got a depressive phase following, about 3 weeks later that would last around a month. Including sweating a lot, feeling like having a feaver, being depressed,feeling anxious, feeling like I can´t go to training, feeling weak, etc. but I always got better again. So I did this really slowly..always allowing my body to adjust to the next step. In late August (2015) i took my last „powder 0,000xx mg“ and boom...after 3 weeks I started feeling HORRIBLE. ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE! I had troubles I never had before (or still have) lik e being totally paranoid, feeling completely deprersonalzed, having terrible brainfog, headaches, ...all that in addition to having all the old **** I am used to when having a down. So for 2 months I felt horrible, then it got a lot better for month, now it is completely terrible again since mid-december. I AM GOING CRAZY! I am very well informed and very convinced that all that is due to withdrawl and that my brain needs time to adjust but OH MY GOD how can one stand this horrible times?I feel so terribly weak! All the time I have to push myself really hard: To get out of bed, to talk to friends, to go outside, to go to work, ...everything is a huge struggle...it is sooooo exhausting. Luckily I do have all the support I could wish for from friends and family and boyfriend! I am very thankful for that! But still I feel alone with all this war inside of me because I feel like they don´t know what I am going through. If I feel really bad for two weeks and then have a window – okay, at least you get a break. But feeling that awful for over a month is draining all my energy. How do you cope? How do you get through this? What do you do when you sit alone at home, feel to weak and terrible to call someone..how do you drag yourself out of this? Ps.: Sorry if my English is not that good:)
  16. Hello everyone, I am so happy to have found this site. I have been searching for a comprehensive place that included a community of folks like this or a while. I am currently at 7.5 after making the sudden drop to 5 mg from 10 w my cipralex. I have been on this antidepressant for almost 10 years and am in a place in my life where I'd like to try to go without. I had been overly optimistic that I wouldn't feel withdrawal symptoms because I had gone off before. I conveniently forgot that in the past I was on a fairly high dose of clonazepam and I was also put on Wellbutrin to overlap with it so really, I have never felt the actual withdrawal of the drug. It just so happens that I am also in the throes of perimenopause, this means that some of the symptoms are similar so, for the first couple of weeks at 5mgs I had convinced myself that it was "just my hormones" (sex hormones) being out of whack. Anyhow, I'm not in denial any more. After reading through all of the posts on tapering responsibly and making a list of my symptoms plus talking with my incredible supportive partner, I chose to up my dose to 7.5 today. I need to let my brain and guts adjust to the shift. So, how long should I wait before the next shift down? I took the additional dose to up it just about an hour ago and I am now feeling more nauseated. My body feels so sensitive. Time for half a gravol I guess? Thanks for any suggestions. *i should add that I also suffer from migraines on a fairly regular basis and didn't include the medications I take for those when needed in my profile application, does the admin want that?
  17. Hello everyone, I'm writing this topic on behalf of my father. He is currently suffering from sever withdrawal symptoms. He has been on Cipralex (10mg) for the past 12+ years. Last summer around June,2016. He decided to wean off the Cipralex, however, he didn't do it the correct way by tapering it off slowly. Instead what he he did is that he used to take 1 dose of 10mg Cipralex every 2 days for about a week. Then the week after he took 1 dose of 10mg Cipralex every 3 days..etc. And in about one month and a half, around Augest, 2016, he was completely off of it. So he didn't really Cold Turkey it but he did weaning off of it very quickly and rapidly. He was fine on the other hand for about 6 months all until around last march, 2017 when his withdrawal symptoms started to drive him insane. it started slowly and kept increasing up until today. Last week, his doctor advised him to reinstate by taking Cipralex 10mg again to hope it could cool him down. He has been on it now for about a week along with Xanax to temper down his excessive waves of anxiety when it hits. So, I'm really hoping for your advice, is he doing the right way of reinstating with Cipralex and will it reduce his WD symptoms soon? And are the WD symptoms going to be reduced anytime soon with what he is doing? Or is there a way to improve his status with some other AD perhaps? I'm really desperate at this point seeing him suffering from these excessive symptoms. Thank you everyone and looking forward in finding a way to help him.
  18. Is there even one story on line about a Pharma victim actually weaning off SSRIs after being on them for several years, suffering the withdrawals, then leading a happy life like others. Seems EVERYBODY ends up back on some sort of poisonous chemical, or the same one they were on before, or suffers lifelong side effects and feel miserable? I was on 15mg cipralex for 2.5 yrs for “acute exhaustion”. Tapered down over about 10 months, took my last 2.5 mg 21 days ago and I am in way worse condition than I was 2.5 yrs ago!! Talked to 2 different pharmacists last week. One said go to emergency and get a new prescription, the other said there are NO withdrawals or side effects! “its you underlying problem coming back, has to be” She didn’t even know WHY i was put on this stuff, but immediately made a false assumption!…….. Can anyone put up links to actual success stories? In my life, I have had to get off alcohol, tobacco, adivan and zopiclone and they were a walk in the park compared to this stuff
  19. Hi everyone and thank you for this website. I have been a passive observer since I stopped taking Cipralex and finally decided to join. Unlike many of you on this forum who took SSRIs for many years I have only taken Cipralex for 2 years right after my kid was born. Getting on this medication while having a newborn was not easy, which my doctor failed to mention, of course ) It took about 6 weeks to feel ok after a great deal of anxiety and just wanting to kill myself. Once I was on I felt great and energetic. During the two years of medication use I felt like my personality changed. I felt self-confident (not my stronger quality without drugs) and non-envious (envy is my big enemy normally). I never felt comfortable taking drugs however, and finally decided to start taking myself off. Of course nobody told me about proper tapering, and I took myself off 10 mg within 2 months (in retrospect too soon). My acute withdrawal lasted 2 months, with no physical side effects except for feeling cold all the time. During this time i suffered from great anxiety, depression, insomnia and just feeling hopeless. After two months these acute symptoms lessened and I had a 3 week window of being ok. Then it started again, with lessened symptoms, and then again a couple of weeks window of being ok. Its been like that for 6 months and even though there seems to be a pattern of windows and waves its never linear and never predictable. I think what is the most difficult part of this withdrawal hell is the depression. I learned to deal with anxiety, I am learning to deal with insomnia (my biggest enemy) but I cannot find a way to cope with depression. And God, I am so afraid it will never pass. I am reading a lot about acceptance, but when you are in the hopeless kind of state, with no motivation, nothing to look forward to, nothing to enjoy (even my kid) how can one live like this? I read somewhere on this forum that one has to create an imaginary second personality, the non-withdrawing personality, the "normal me", so to speak. This second me has to always remind the "suffering me" that what I feel right now is in my brain, and its not really me. Sometimes it works, but sometimes I lose faith and I fall into the notion that this depression IS the new me and I have to do something about it. Leave my family, go to hateful office job, etc... I guess I wanted to ask if its normal for depression to be lingering for such a long time and if anyone has other tips coping with this? Wouldn't it be so much easier if someone would secretly whisper you the answer to just how long this will last?
  20. Hi everybody! I am Julz, a 33 year-old female - polydrugged to my eye-balls Ten years ago, I fell into anorexia and depression, soon unveiling terrible anxiety. I was referred to a psychiatrist (in France) who prescribed me medication and also gave me psychotherapy. Regarding the medication, different combinations and doses where tried and I eventually found myself on a prescription which seemed to suit my troubled mind (Escitalopram, venlafaxine, clonazepam and diazepam) - did it ever do anything? I still haven't got a clue. I trusted this doctor. This is my initial prescription: Escitalopram: 20mg 20mg 20mg - (yes, that is 60mg...!!!) Venlafaxine(MR): - - 75mg - Clonazepam: - 2mg - 2mg Diazepam: - - - 10mg Time passed and psychologically, a lot changed. I moved away from where I used to live, totally changed my environment, and went for a fresh start. But I was still taking my medication as prescribed. My General Practitioner (in charge of my prescription in my new environment) convinced me to lower the Escitalopram (on the grounds that it was "bad for my heart") and I managed, between 2011 and 2013, to come from 60mg/day to 15mg. How? By jumping 5mg at a time every now and again. I had no idea... again, I more or less trusted this doctor who was willing to prescribe me the drugs I was clearly physically dependent on. The withdrawals I experienced were uneventful. I did feel something was happening but within a few days, I always felt the same as before the drop. Between 2010 and 2014, a LOT had changed as I finally got an MSc BUT I had fallen into terrible exhaustion and had no life. How did I get my degree? A struggle every day. I then began to question this cocktail of drugs, I'd been on them for 10 years and was still taking them as prescribed because I was physically dependent. That was clear enough! It then hit me: my meds were probably incapacitating me rather than providing any help! The realisation came as in January 2013, after I managed to lower my Escitalopram intake from 20 to 15mg/day in a single 5mg step (...), I began to feel even more tired during the day, exhausted - I simply had to nap every single day. After some personal research, I went to my GP and told him I didn't believe in keeping our focus on the Escitalopram because it seemed that the more I decreased it, the more sleepy I'd get during the day, considering my benzo intake (at that point, I was taking 3 hours' naps), and I could not live like that! Fortunately, before I was able to drop a pill here and there as instructed by my GP, I found the BenzoBuddy website and managed to find a taper method to gradually come off clonazepam. From December 2014 to July 2015, I came from 4mg to 2mg and am now below 1.9mg and still tapering off successfully. I decided to join Surviving Antidepressants as I want off ALL any medication which alters who I am. I believe in other ways to manage my weaknesses - I am not ill, I have a tendency to be anxious and this is not new, I was an anxious child but I had emotions too. I'd like my emotions and my whole life back... I realise I know NOTHING about anti-depressants, I surely did not know about Escitalopram's potency and am still in shock from the news. My initial plans (supported by a psychiatrist I saw in February 2015) were to come off clonazepam (bz), then diazepam (bz), then Escitalopram, then Venlafaxine. In the light of what I read on this wonderful site, I wonder whether I should stay of Valium (diazepam) while at least tapering off Escitalopram, when I am done with clonazepam... I realise I need knowledge myself because sadly, doctors haven't been helpful at all... so far... Thanks for welcoming me on your wonderful Forum! Julz xxx
  21. I started ADs in 2000 at the age of 25 following a difficult period where I had lost a lot of money while working as a fund manager in the US. I lost my job and faced some possible legal ramifications which never eventuated. Anxiety and general panicky feelings led me to see a shrink who put me on a low dose of what is known mostly as Paxil (Aropax here in Aus where I now live) and said I would "feel better" soon. I stayed on Paxil for about a year but I never felt better, it increased my anxiety and made me very uptight and even caused me to be violent and aggressive at times which is very unlike me (I remember at least one episode of full on road rage). I decided to get off the drug after 1 year CT and suffered horrible withdrawals. After a week I went back to the shrink and said I've never felt like this in my entire life, I feel like a complete basket case. I asked him if it could be withdrawals like a heroin addict who stops taking heroin, and he said there is no evidence of withdrawal symptoms with ADs (imagine, this is in 2001 in a Western country, one week after stopping the med cold turkey and he told me it must be me and my anxiety returning!) So he switched me to Zoloft. Within 24 hours I felt like my body was trying to come out of my skin, it was the worst thing I had ever experienced. So I stopped it immediately and then he suggested I try Citalopram (Cipramil /Celexa). This drug had an instant calming affect, I still remember 3 days later walking around all smiles and totally relaxed. Within a few weeks I was back to myself completely - if not better than I ever was, since I always had a bit of social anxiety such as when engaging in public speaking (which I hid well) and this drug had totally eradicated that nervous feeling. I almost felt like I was a little high (like a mellow high) but still energetic and upbeat and able to function well. I gained a lot of weight but didn't care, and I definitely had a lowered sex drive, but it didn't seem to bother me then. I was in a total bubble. My GP told me that if you find something that works well for you you should stay on it long term. So I did. In fact I never saw the shrink again. I got my scripts from my GP and he never suggested I go off. Nor did I want or feel the need to. Once in a while I would ask him if its dangerous to be on this stuff long term and he would joke and say half his patients are on the stuff and there is no evidence that long term use is dangerous. People had been on it for years longer than I had and they were fine. So I was on Citalopram from 2001 until 2008. During that period I functioned well. Too well. I took on a new job in Australia where I thrived in an executive position, worked hard, made lots of money, bought an expensive house and had 2 kids (I guess my libido was low but not that low). By nature I am very driven and hard working, but I think the drug enhanced my stamina. (In hindsight I realise I was quite emotionally blunted during that period. I also have no doubt that he drug was probably the reason why I was able to take on so much work and work long hours without getting burned out. It did not make me manic but gave me a lot of confidence and stamina.) Then in 2008 I started to read about the dangers of long term use of SSRIs. How people were struggling to get off them. How they can lead to depression and possible brain damage. I got scared. So I decided to go off them. Life was good (perhaps too good) and I had no reason I needed to be on them anymore. The original anxiety of loosing money that led me to the drug years ago was long gone and totally irrelevant. By now I had known enough about these drugs that WDs were real and that I would need to taper off them. So I cut my dose (20mg) in half and took 10mg for 2 weeks. During that time I felt fine. I also began to feel more emotion and libido was stronger. Otherwise, not much difference. Then, two weeks later, I stopped taking the drug completely. The withdrawals were horrible. After a few weeks the brain zaps stopped but I still felt out of sorts. I felt very fatigued and out of it. But I was still able to function at work. I stayed in this mode for about 3 months, functioning, but still out of sorts. But I felt I was slowly getting back to myself. I was much better by the end of 3 months. You'd think this would be the end of my little story. But sadly, it is not. About 4 months after going off the drug I was standing in my office casually talking to some clients and suddenly I became overwhelmed by a surge of racing thoughts. They filled me with panic and anxiety to the extent I had never felt before. I went home that night and couldn't sleep. Everything was fine in my life but suddenly I felt like I had been hit by a train! The thoughts were ruminations and feelings of extreme guilt, about random things. They became obsessive and gave me the darkest, most anxious feelings I have ever had. Far worse that even the anxiety that I felt in 2000. Worse even than I felt when I was withdrawing. I couldn't function. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. My entire being was exhausted from fighting these horrid feelings. I never had such a level of extreme anxiety, guilt, obsessive thinking and deep inner turmoil. It was like a door had opened in my brain that had been closed my whole life and had suddenly flooded my brain and I had no way of closing the door or making it stop. A few days in and things were getting worse. I went to a very highly regarded Psychiatrist, who was able to see me immediately. He said I had relapsed and would need to go back on the drug. How could this be a relapse? I never suffered from pure obsessional thoughts before! Terrifying panic and horrid overwhelming feelings of guilt and obsessional thinking. But I didn't care. I wanted it to end. I went back on the drug, but it didn't help. In fact, it made me feel worse. At once stage I felt like I wanted to admit myself into a hospital because I felt so unspeakably horrid. But I never did, and instead saw my new Psychiatrist who was very good. He introduced me to a drug called Solian, an Atypical anti psychotic which works to increase dopamine at low doses. It has no anti psychotic benefit at a low dose but an anti anxiety / anti depressive affect. This was helpful. A few weeks after starting this drug (in combination with my original dose of Ciprimil/ Celexa) I turned the corner. I slowly began to get better. I weaned off the anti psychotic pretty early on, but stayed on the AD. I was still working throughout most of this "relapse" and after about 18 months the obsessive thoughts had stopped completely. my Psychiatrists was of the opinion that I should stay on the drug, and I was totally for that, as the thought of what happened the last time I tried to stop was so terrifying, I couldn't even fathom returning to such a state. So I stayed on the Citalopram and life went on. However in 2015 things got worse again. I stated to feel depressed. Some days were better and some were worse. I never suffered from depression before. The mornings were bad. I was becoming more and more blunted, apathetic and depressed. It was a dysphoric but also agitated depression. I felt very drained and lethargic, like I had no motivation or drive anymore. I felt like my adrenal glands had been removed or that the motivational part of my brain had been cut out or switched off. I started getting more moody and irritable than I have ever been. Everyone was noticing it and it just got worse and worse over the following 18 months. As I write this I am still suffering, and it is getting worse. I am still functioning at work but I can spend a lot of time distracted and not working efficiently. I have zero anxiety or feelings at all, for that matter. Just a heavy depression. But I fear I may not be able to function at work much longer, the way I feel. Some mornings I cannot get out of bed and show up at work only in the afternoon, (but stay late). I now own my own business and I don't book appointments or schedule meetings until later in the day unless I really have no choice. Some days I don't show up at all. I do still have windows of high functioning, but they come and go. But this has gone to far, its affecting my life and work to the point that I am getting really desperate. A few weeks ago I did some online research about depression caused by long term use of SSRIs. The term is Tardive Dysphoria. I know that's what I'm suffering from. It is such an unnatural feeling and so all consuming and disabling. The suggested remedy, assuming the damage isn't permanent, is to get off SSRI's. My Shrinkrecently added a new drug called Valdoxan. It worked well for about a month and then pooped out. Now he wants to change my med to Brintillex, a new type of SSRI. He swears I will feel better on it. He's a good at what he does and he's probably right. But then what? I'm 42 years old. It will work for a while, possibly even for a sustained period. It might even get me to 50. But then what? I actually asked him that. He said we'll worry about it then. I think my preference is to get off all meds. But I'm too terrified to try. What happened last time I tried was just too terrible. Its been 9 more years of Cipramil use since, so it will definitely be even worse now. However I need to get out of this dysphoric state and I don't want to start any new drugs which will just make it harder to get off in the future. Any advice would be much appreciated.
  22. hello guys, that's my story (coming from Italy, sorry for bad English): I was suggested in October 2014 to take Risperdal 1mg/day for my social anxiety and paranoia...took it for 23 days from November, that day I suddenly felt a great fear of death and a 'strange void' in my head. From that moment (23 November 2014) to present day I have had no emotions, I have lost all my interests, my mind is empty now (very slow thinking), I speak few times only to answer a question, I have no energy or motivation so I'm lying down on my bed all the day. Before taking Risperdal I had some issues with social anxiety and paranoia, but I loved going to gym, walking, thinking freely, reading and gaming. Now I don't have any desire, I also experience discomfort when eating or taking a shower. I read many posts about this like-being dead existence after taking risperdal. Please help, also jim24 your story is similar to mine, please update me on your situation...I will do the same.
  23. I was on 10 mg ciprelax for 6 years. I tapered off for 6 weeks and finally stopped. All was well for about 3 weeks then all hell broke loose. Night sweats, loss of appetite, restlessness, suicidal thoughts. I have had non stop burning, prickly pins and needles tingling in my head, hands, and feet for 3 months now. Went and got all checked out and everything came back normal. Found this web site and showed it to my Dr. He believes this is what I am going through. I have tried everything from fish oil, magnesium, to CBD oils. I even tried going back on a low dose to no avail. I need to know this will end some day. My relationship with my wife and friends are getting bad as I just can not do much. Please share your get well stories as I really need to know I will one day get better.
  24. Piapil

    Piapil

    Initially I was diagnosed way back in 1977 when I made my first acquaintance with our mental health care system. A very bad acquaintance which sadly lasted for 40 years. I have childhood trauma which never has been touched upon. In that time all sorts of terrible drugs have been shoved down my throat by all sorts of terrible psychiatrists. Recently I tapered off the AD cipralex ( Escitalopram) over 2 months, from 10mg to zero. I am still on anti-psychotic , tapered from 30mg to 6mg in 7 years. The AD withdrawal symptoms are so bad. Crying a lot of the time, depressed, nausea , all sorts of pains in the body, including my feet. I guess I am experiencing waves , no windows lately. Everything is just bad. Anger, irritability,no appetite. It's really so awful. I have gained confidence, though, that it will all end some day, by reading these posts.I guess I'll just have to persevere. I am not going back on any drugs. I refuse. I don't even consult my doctor bc they are all just drug pushers and I don't want to listen to their crap. I've bought some cannabis oil I'll start on soon. It won't harm I'm sure. I take a lot of supplements, including fish oil, turmeric, glucosamine, calcium and c, d and b vitaminer. I've taken supplements for years. I have a pretty staple healthy diet, don't weight too much and generally get a lot of exexcise by walking and commuting. I don't work anymore ( for years) I will have to consult a specialist when I come off the last anti-psychotic dose. Bc that has proven difficult the last few mgs. I will wait until I'm well over the AD withdrawal. I am healthy physically but have little or no network or family for support. Am very much a loner. And that is probably the main issue, not depression or anything else. But loneliness . I quit the AD bc they didn't help much,they made me angry, irrational, depressed and suicidal. AD is not the solution to loneliness.
  25. I've been ssri free for two months now, after a gradual taper. I was on cipralex for 6years 20mg. I was originally prescribed for anexity and after years of feeling numb and missing out on my kids lives I decided to go drug free. Let me tell you being married with kids and trying to deal with withdrawals is not easy. I have found great strength reading these posts and using mindfulness meditation definitely helps. I'm 37 years old and see my future being bright but uncertain. I worried if I'll be able to enjoy my life and family after all these years of drug dependence. My career suffered while on cipralex I'm currently unemployed and trying to get my own business started. We live in a time that success is measured off what we do ie. work success,own a house etc. My wife has no idea what I'm going through and seems to not have the patience for the process . I hope my Brain will recover and I can feel a sense of balance again. young and old read this post and understand that ssri are not the answer it's a quick fix to mask bigger issues. Never again will I put my body through this nightmare I gain 45lbs already lost 10 off cipralex. My weight gain has caused serious back pain issues. Not to mention high blood pressure etc. stay strong and find what works for you to deal with withdrawals and years of being drugged up. Good luck and these feelings will pass... my future we'll see how it unfolds:)
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