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I was diagnosed with post natal depression ten years ago. The psych put me on 10mg lexapro and told me to see him again two weeks later. When I went back he asked if I felt better and I said no. He put my dose up to 15mg. Two weeks later I went back again and answered the same question with another no. He put me up to 20mg. This continued till I reached the dose of 30mg. By that stage I had learned to lie....I told him I felt much better so that he would stop increasing my dose. I later learned that the recommended dose of lexapro is 20mg. After twelve months on 30mg I cut myself down to 25mg. Basically over the following years I did the same thing until I got down to 5mg. That was two years ago. That is when my problems began. Increased anxiety and ocd. No physical symptoms thankfully. But the anxiety and ocd is awful. I have read extensively and know my symptoms are withdrawal. There are definite windows and waves. I am currently at 2mg and life is hard. I honestly can’t see how I am going to get off this drug. The withdrawal sets in about one month after a cut and honestly seems to be endless in intensity. At this stage I am in no hurry to cut any further. During a window My anxiety and ocd seems laughable and I can’t believe how silly I have been getting upset about everything. But during the waves the fear and terror is so real. It is as though my central nervous system is damaged beyond repair. I live in a constant state of hyper alert.

In 1986 I was prescribed a tricyclic antidepressant, 75 mg Imipramine PM, to slow bowel function and to relieve pain resulting from ulcerative colitis. I was also put on 1 mg Lorazepam. In 1991 I went CT off both the Imipramine and the Lorazepam, resulting in a terrible colitis flare-up. After a few months I reinstated with success. However, these medications, and everything else I did for the colitis ceased work about three years ago, and in January, 2015, I underwent surgery to remove my colon and replace with an internal J-pouch, which cured the colitis. But that left me with the 30-year-long Imipramine situation. In January, 2016, I began tapering the Imipramine 10% every three weeks, which went fine until I got down to 19 mg, then 12 mg, at which point I began experiencing severe anxiety as well as dizziness. Realizing I had tapered too quickly, I updosed to 25 mg a month ago but have not as yet stabilised at this dose, as I am still experiencing considerable anxiety as well as insomnia. Until September 23, my tapers were approximate percentages as I hadn't yet bought a scale. I use the supplements Theanine and Nature's Balance Happy Camper to help with the anxiety, along with magnesium glycinate. It's only been a month, but I'm a little worried that I am never going to stabilise at 25 mg. In 2004, due to depression, I was put on a succession of SSRIs, in addition to the Imipramine, including Zoloft, Prozac and Effexor. Lexapro 20 mg seemed to finally work and I remain on it at this time. In 2011 I was prescribed 1 mg Lorazepam for insomnia, now 1.5 mg.

I find the greatest irony in all of this is that I didn't experience clinical depression until I was in medical school. I still have some regret over pushing myself and being so ambitious. I know I've got a victim mentality going on and it'll be apparent in the summary below. I'm trying to change my narrative but it's a process. Fall 2013 - first diagnosed with adjustment disorder, not sure what diagnoses I actually got next but pretty sure it all neatly fit into major depressive disorder successfully treated with therapy, group therapy/support groups, daily exercise, acupuncture, Chinese herbal medicine, meditation, leave of absence from school, spending time with family and friends naively assumed that it was just a one-time thing and that depression does not necessarily have to be "chronic" Fall 2017 - started feeling poorly and knew I didn't have time for self-care when working 12+ hours/day and wanted to keep chugging along in my medical career and at least get a license to practice so only solution seemed to be drugs started on zoloft but experienced bad side effects so switched to lexapro 10mg and started therapy again, even took time off work for an intensive month of therapy Spring 2018 - decided to leave my toxic medical training program and put in my letter stating I'd be resigning after completing this first year of training, felt immensely better but waited a few weeks to make sure it wasn't a temporary relief before approaching my psychiatrist to wean off medication he agreed it seemed like a situational depression and we tapered off somewhat rapidly, had occasional dizziness but mostly when descending stairs in the hospital Fall 2018 - expected to feel so happy after quitting that position but immediately fell into a very deep and the deepest at that point in my life, depression really didn't want to be on medication again, continued therapy, tried to go on runs a doctor I was shadowing and hoping to work with noticed something was off and gave me a sample of the latest antidepressant which he took himself and thought was great; I tried it but had nausea/vomiting each time so only took it for a few days; might have had some dry heaving afterwards too went back to psychiatrist to restart on lexapro and we upped it to 20mg pretty fast since my depression was so severe saw PCP who could manage this as well and wanted to taper but he didn't recommend it; I went against medical advice (yup, docs really do make the worst patients ) and waited for a few months, then planned a really slow taper myself while acquiring healthier habits like exercising again and eating a more plant-based diet; finally off of it completely in February/March 2020 May 2020 - I think that's when I started stressing again and in July/August, I hit what is now my worst level of depression. I've never had so many and such intense suicidal thoughts. This is the first time I've planned and even attempted. Each time, there was still an essence in me that wanted me to live so here I am. I've also been experiencing a high level of anxiety and what felt like a slow long burning panic attack and panic attacks. I've never had any of this before. I started seeing a new therapist who at first suggested and then strongly urged me to go back on lexapro. I luckily had 1 more refill left on the medication so I didn't have to find a new doctor as I just moved to a new area. Placebo effect or perhaps being back on an SSRI which the body was so used to must be strong because I felt better the first day after I took my first pill. It's still been hard but a lot better too. I've created and been able to stick to a system of getting out of bed and exercising. This time, I've kept more detailed track of my medication and tonight should be day 20 of taking it. I have a pretty immediate question though. I read through the post on whether now is a good time to taper or not and I'm undecided on where I fit. While I am going through a tough transition right now, underemployed and currently interviewing for a better job that will certainly bring back some small level of PTSD since there will be some medical practice involved, I also am "young" in starting this new trial of lexapro so I want to quit while I'm "ahead." I am hopeful I will get this new job and even if I don't, either way will be stressful because I'll either have to learn a new position or I'll have to apply for more jobs (each job search and application leads me to panic attacks and shutting down completely). Perhaps it's better I stay on the medication so I don't even have to worry about withdrawing/relapsing again. Ugh, I'm so confused and lost. I hate this and I feel like ever since I started on medications, I've lost my previous ability level to cope. It's like my emotional pain threshold is lower. Perhaps it's because I have a diagnosis to fall back on and instead of seeing things as just another life stressor or bump in the road, I'm conditioned to see it as another relapse. I don't know. Frustrated and annoyed and hate meds.

hi all my name is Miguel and i have a question about Lexapro here is the medication I took and the time lines Sertraline 50 mg on 5/10/15 and took Trazodona, 150 mg then i stopped continued on sertraline Mexazolam, 1 mg 1/12/15 on 6/6/16 I went to 100 mg Sertraline then 03-10-2016 i changed to Escitalopram, 20 mg and Xanax 0.5 and took it until i stopped on 28/5/2017 by my own bad mistake I did a super fast tampering of 20 15 10 5 0 in 1 mouth ^^ and i whent back on it on 7/08/2017 owe my one whit out saying to the doctor but i am now at 10 mg and i have an appointment whit a psychiatrist and gonna ask him to taper me off slowly But I am afraid that cuz i started whit 16 almost 17 y old that it's gone be hard or that I am hooked for life I did cold turkey and i wasn't dat bad until it all hit me at once ty for your help i will be posting regulary about my situation Love you all Miguel

Hi all, In 2013 I received the diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder when I started having therapy for the first time in my life - I was 23 then. I've been anxious through my teens and early adulthood, and also suffered from bouts of low mood, but did not think much of it - I thought it was just how I was. In 2013 because I was at a particularly bad phase in college, I went to a psychiatrist through which I started taking 20mg Lexapro (I take the generic - Escitalopram). Everything improved a lot. Anxiety greatly reduced, mood also better, more drive to do stuff. And basically no side effects. So I kept taking it religiously, and basically forgot about it. About 3 years later, it started to bug me that I was taking a drug to keep myself mentally stable. I knew nothing about how bad the withdrawals from this type of drug were, and I felt good, so I just cold turkey'd - 20 to 0. You can imagine how this goes. After some days I was hit by what I thought was the worst flu I had ever had. I could not leave bed. That was odd. Didn't think just stopping that drug would cause that, as the effect of the drug is pretty much non-noticeable (it's not like taking a benzo where you feel drowsy and so on) and you just feel pretty much like the normal you. Either way, just to be safe I went back on the 20mg and all the symptoms disappeared after some time and again I did not think much about it anymore. I think I attempted cold turkeying again after some time just to experience exactly the same symptoms. So I thought "alright, this really is the Lexapro, not a flu". From then on I started being more uncomfortable for taking the Lexapro. Here's this drug that apparently makes me feel stable, but I stop taking it and I'm completely wrecked. This doesn't feel right. So in 2018 I started a slow tapper, or at least what I considered a slow tapper. I was reducing around 2.5mg every month or every other month. I was going linearly - no percentage reduction. That was the logical thing for me to do as my doctor never told me about the liquid form of Lexapro and with the tablets available where I live it's impossible to do a precise lower division lower than 2.5mg. Throughout the tapper I felt what I now acknowledge as withdrawal symptoms, but again I did not think much of it. I was in a difficult life situation, living abroad and always extremely stressed, so I thought the life situation was what was causing that. In May 2019, I was down to already 2.5mg. Not feeling that well, but that was such a low dose that I thought it was insignificant and dropped to zero. This overlapped with a break-up and with starting a job that was really quite demanding. That's when I got into hell. I started waking up at night with panic attacks. In the morning my arms and legs were burning - I felt the anxiety burning my body. I just wanted to leave my body and my mind, that feeling was just too unbearable. Crying non-stop, huge feelings of rage - I just wanted to destroy stuff and just felt this huge urge sometimes to beat up anyone that did something even mildly annoying (and mind that I've always been quite a controled person - this was not at all me). I also had muscle spasms, couldn't digest anything properly and lost a bunch of weight. I had never been so thin in my life. That's when I started thinking I had to have something serious in my brain - I even forgot about the Lexapro then - I thought I was developing a neurological disease. This person was not me. My psychiatrist had tried to put me on other antidepressants - Fluvoxamine and Mirtazapine. None of them worked. Then I was put back on the Lexapro (only 10mg). And I wasn't seeing much improvement on my state. I started becoming suicidal. I did not want to go through the realization that I had a disease that would invalidate me for the rest of my days. I was going to doctor after doctor, doing exam after exam, and they didn't seem to find anything wrong which left me feeling even more helpless. I thought that was never going to end. I started thinking every day about suicide. That's all I thought about. I just could not bear that reality. That's when I told my parents - "I need to be checked in at the hospital. I won't last much longer like this." So I was checked in at the hospital. Even the doctors who checked me in did not believe I was in such a bad state - I guess even in that state I kept my composure. I spent 2 weeks there, in what was the most horrible experience of my life. The people there were for sure much worse than I was - most of them had even lost touch with reality. But deep down I know this was the experience I needed to snap out of it. While I was there the doctor who was supervising me increased my Lexapro dose to 20mg. I became reeeaally sleepy after that. Just as I had become the first time I went into 20mg back in 2013. By then I still did not believe I did not have a horrifying disease. It was really hard to believe this was coming just from a psychological source. And it took quite long for me to become convinced that was the case. The months right after the hospital were tough. I was sleeping a lot - around 12 hours a day. Very, very slowly things started improving. Too slowly for me to even notice a difference. But little by little I started sleeping less, recovered my appetite, some days even saw a glimpse of contentment. At some point I was feeling good more often than I was feeling bad. I started exercising every day, having psychotherapy twice a week, taking supplements, getting sun light, meditating. Everything I could do to improve, I did. Around April of this year, I was already entering a pretty stable stage. Some days I still had energy and mood breaks which I had no idea where they came from and were pretty demotivating - now I realize they are likely something akin to the "waves" that I've seen mentioned here at SA. I also still had some lingering symptoms such as some vague leg pain here and there, as well as teeth pain. But those bad days and lingering symptoms started becoming more and more rare. So for some months I was doing really good. Feeling drive and contentment with life. Optimistic. Last month I had an appointment with my psychiatrist, and as I really want to be med-free he suggested that I attempted a new reduction again. At first he suggested me to drop to 15mg, but I thought it was better to go first down to 17.5mg instead. And that's the dosage I'm at right now. The reduction was not that large, but I can for sure feel the withdrawals - even though I know the reduction was larger than the 10% recommended here at SA - my next drops I will follow that guidance. After the drop to 17.5mg, I started having more of those down days. Also the days right afterwards I had rebound anxiety, which has already disappeared. Some days my energy and mood breaks. And I'm more irritable, less drive, etc. Also those lingering pains I mentioned are back sometimes. Furthermore, I feel like I can't train at the gym at the same level I did - even though my body weight and composition is exactly the same as it was before the drop to 17.5mg, I feel significantly less strength some days. So for now I will stick with cardio. Now I know much better than I did in the past and will wait to fully stabilize from the current withdrawal until I attempt another reduction. I am also building a sauna at my place, which I have read has many benefits for mood, so that's another resource I will have to deal with the tapering process. Hope this post can be useful for someone.

Hi guys, I’m new but I have been reading a lot and this seems to be really good info. Especially the stuff I read from Altostrata. My story: i took escitalopram for 4.5 month, the last month being an accelerated taper bc lexapro never worked in the least for me and looking back now I believe it gave me akathisia when I increased to 20mg. Anyway, about 3 weeks after I hit 0mg, after the physical stuff subsided, I got hammered with emotional turmoil and I’m pretty sure the akathisia came back 5 fold. I couldn’t sit still, horrible anxiety followed by depressive fits that seemed to cycle and sadness/hopelessness. It almost seemed like I was bipolar and thus I ended up on lamictal a month ago. I can sit still now but Im still emotionally wrecked. Mainly I just can’t quit hyperfocusing on how bad I want to feel normal and be off this stuff. I started questioning everything and researching on my own. I now believe it was just lexapro withdrawal I was dealing with and now I’m on lamictal at 50mg. I did 25 mg for 2 weeks and have since been on 50mg for around 31 days total. What do you guys recommend for me in terms of a taper. I don’t want to compound the ssri withdrawal with another medicine. note: I also take 50mg of trazodone to sleep bc it’s been the only way I could get any sleep for this entire process. Thanks in advance, J

Moderator note - link to benzo forum thread - Frogie: W/D from Xanax am new here as you can see. I need help!! I'm hoping someone can help me get off 10 mg Lexapro. Every time I try to drop to even 9mg, I end up sick to my stomach. I go back up to 10mg and am still sick to my stomach. I have no other symptoms. In my profile is all my information, I don't know how to get it to the bottom of this page. I'm not very good on the computer. Sorry

Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!

Hi I was on lexapro 10 mg for 6 years. I tapered off starting Feb 2017 following my doctors advice. I took 5 mg for 2 weeks then 5 mg every other day for 1 week then stopped completely. 3 days after my last dose the brain zaps started. Now after 8 weeks I have a continuous feeling like a sparkler is firing off in my brain, all day long. Sometimes it is more intense than other times, but it never goes away. It feels like a shower of sparks is swirling around in my brain, it is so hard to describe. It is not in my ears, but in my brain. I went back to my doctor to see if I should go back on and taper off more slowly. He said no, to just try to ignore it like you would ignore a back ache. I tried ignoring it for 2 weeks then returned to him, he referred me to a neurologist. Today I saw the neurologist who looked at me with wide eyes and said he never heard of this. He said he will order a test of brain waves but doubts it will show anything. His suggestion is to go back on the 10 mg to see if it goes away. My question is: is 8 weeks too long to be off it to reintroduce the drug and then taper off slower? I have read that reinstating the drug will get rid of symptoms IF YOU DO IT IMMEDIATELY. I am afraid that after 8 weeks, it could make it worse. I just want to be off the drug. I never had these sensations before using this drug. I don't know what is causing them and if they are benign. I tell my self they are not hurting my brain, that it is just my brain "coming back on line" but as they persist it is harder and harder to believe this. I really do not want to go back on, but if it is the only way to make them go away I will and then taper more slowly. Then I wonder if this counts as "time served" and if I go back on and taper more slowly, I will just have to serve this time again. Also, is it just the addicted part of me telling me to go back on, like how I used to lie to myself when quitting smoking? (By the way quitting smoking cigarettes after smoking for 10 years was infinitely easier than what I am going through with this.) I appreciate any wisdom, any body live through months of zaps? do they ever go away? are they harmful? Thank you so much

Teppo125 Hi you all! This is my first post here, but I have been here and reading stuff for many months. Sorry for my poor english, but maybe you will understand. I had many adversities in 2018-2019 and I began to have panic attacks, chest pains and air hunger. I had all of these in 2012 as well, but I was checked and there was nothing wrong with me. The panic attacks and chest pains all got away in a few months. I went to the private doctor which we had because of our job. And he recommended for me to go to the psychologist. The psychologist said that he recommends me to seek psychotherapist, because of my illness. Well I didn't do anything and the panic attacks didn't go away. I had to call an ambulance two times and they took me to the ER both times because I thought I was going to die. I went to the psychologist again and I told him that I would like to get some medications started. He said that he doesn't recommend medication, because I would start to trust the medication and it could be hard to stop (Oh how right he was..). Well I didn't seek a psychotherapist, but I went to the public hospital, because I wanted the medication, because I thought it would help. I called the psychiatric nurse and after the first appointment she sent me to the doctor and mid july in 2019 I was prescribed Escitalopram (Lexapro I think in you're language) 10mg/day. First week 2,5mg. Second week 5mg. And then 10mg. After first week psychiatric nurse wanted to see me and asked how I was doing. I was doing better, but I started to have some mild suicidal thoughts. What I never had before. We didn't notice them at all. At second week the thoughts became louder. Then I lifted the dose to 10mg and after a few days it wasn't only thoughts, but also suicidal behavior. I couldn't think anything else, only that that I'm going to kill myself. I noticed that something was very very wrong. I thought that the same goes for me what my cousin did earlier in the year, because he was deeply depressed and committed suicide. I was diagnosed mild depression and I had those horrible thoughts. I called the nurse and I wanted too se her. At this point the nurse was changed to another person. The previous nurse was only temporary and the right nurse came back from vacation. She didn't know at all what had happened to me, and neither did I. I didn't know that this DRUG could cause this kind of stuff. Also I am pretty good at sleeping and with this drug I had major sleeping troubles. Then we lowered the dose to 5mg and it helped a lot. Thoughts were still there, but I continued eating them and continued my life. I played football and another sports in the summer, but the thoughts were still there all the time. After 8 weeks(I think) I recognize that when I watched a mirror, I became to hate my self. Then I decided to call the nurse and I told her that I want quit this medication, because I was not feeling good with this drug. She said that I'm now fearing the drug and she doesn't want that I quit the escitalopram. Well, after a long conversation she gave me permission to stop the drug and I could do it cold turkey, because such a low dose and I haven't ate it a long time. And you all know what happened then. But I didn't. I have never before ate any drugs. Only ibuprofen for hangovers some times. I quit the medication propably mid september and I feel pretty good. But after 1,5 - 2 weeks I was thrown behind the hell. And the hell last, it last enormously long time. After two weeks of quitting the drug my girlfriend told me to go privat psychotherapist, because I felt so awful. I though that I am insane that I have tilted some way 😃 (I can laugh sometimes now). The psychotherapist said that it is almost impossible that you are insane, because you are too old to become lunatic and it happens almost every time in 20's or earlier(I'm 30 years now). That helped a little bit. After 4 months of quitting CT, I went to psychiatric and told her what I was going throw. She said that the drug(withdrawal) couldn't be anymore the reason how I felt and prescribe me ketiapine (Qetiapin maybe in English?) for that enormous anxiety what I have. But she also said that just last year people and media are been talking about those side effects and withdrawal in Finland caused by antidepressants. I crashed. I didn't want to live anymore, because my life was awful hell. And it wasn't the withdrawal anymore. I took that ketiapin for month or two 12,5 mg or less for sleeping and anxiety and then I quit it, because I don't want eat any drugs anymore EVER. But somehow I find a group at Facebook. It was Finnish(I'm Finnish also)group about SSRI withdrawal and I noticed that maybe I'm not a lunatic. And then I found there also this site. I also went back to another psychotherapist after 5 months of cold turkey and she said that my biggest problem was the drug withdrawal. I wasn't insane because that couldn't be possible. Or it could be possible, but there should be some sings before if I was for example scitzofrenic or bibolar. I was happier than ever. I continued the therapy which is conditional behavioral psychotherapy. Now I'm almost 8 months free of the drug. I'm not fine, but I think that I survive this. This is not a success story yet, but I write that too then when I'm firmly on my feet. If anyone could help me somehow what I should do in this withdrawal please leave me a comment. Or is it only time what heels me?

Hi guys! Its been almost 7 months since I ct Lexapro, having only used it in 1 month om 5 mg. Its only now for the last weeks that the zaps, vertigo, flu-sympthoms and burning are starting, and becoming more severe by each day.. And I have a constant low fever since one month. (No virus.) Im burning all over my body, not sensitive to touch really.. Just feels like im on fire. And feels like breathing.. Sulfur. Not a refluxprob. (Also kinda blushing in face) All worse in my belly. Having attacks where it kinda knocks me with burning nerves all over and then goes back to constant medium-burning.. My cold sheets in bed is a blessing to naked skin! Also, notice aches and getting weaker in all my muscles.. 😕 Im so afraid! Whats going on! Have someone felt like this?

In lexapro withdrawal for 7 months. Having high anxiety and negative thoughts and ruminations Never had this before coming off of lexapro. I want to be me again. I got on lexapro because when I would get angry with my kids when they were small my head felt like it would blow off. Got advice from some people that told me it was a chemical imbalance and that Paxil would help so I went and asked my dr for it. Took it for 4 or 5 years and then thought maybe it was the reason I was so sleepy all the time. Dr switched me to lexapro. Was feeling horrible a lot and went to the Dr on and off through the years but nothing was ever found so I just pushed through. In 2015 I started noticing I was feeling a lot worse and all the time and it was hard to do things and then I started acting different and reacting to people differently. I was 46 and thought it was the change and it was causing me to act that way. I got off lexapro to see if that would help but it evidently sent me into withdrawal.

I'm brand new to this site. I have been on the ride of psych drugs since my late teens. I started with sertraline, which I went off of cold turkey after six months. I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol for the next decade. Was put on paroxetine at age 29. Went off quickly when I became pregnant. I went back on paroxetine in 2012 and was on it for six years. It didn't help much, I gained a ton of weight and had decreased sex drive. In 2018, I went into crisis and began a horrific journey of medication chaos for the next two years. I can list all of the drugs I was put on, but not the length of time or dose for each: venlafaxine, fluoxetine, risperidone, escitalopram, bupropion, propranolol, trazadone, aripiprazole, lithium, lorazepam, lamotrigine, and a variety of other nonpsych drugs to counteract different side effects from these drugs. In the late summer of 2019, I began to taper off all medications with the assistance of my psychiatrist. I took my last dose of psych meds on November 17, 2019. I've been med free for over nine months. My mental health continues to be very difficult, but I am glad that I'm not compounding these issues with the torturous effects of psych meds. I know that psych meds seem to offer relief to some people, but they made things worse for me. I now work as a Peer Wellness Specialist to help others living with mental health challenges navigate their recovery. I'm just seeking connection to others who have had similar experiences with psych meds, as well as looking for more information to help others who decide to go off meds or need support with the meds they are on. Thanks for being here!

Mudar para portuguêsFull screen closeI started using ssri in 2006 at age 14, however not always wore often used day in day not until September 2014 are already nine months ... right after I have stopped the use abruptly barely stayed for about a month, however after that I felt very well, very well, I thought q was healed, however a few days later returned it, two months later went to a party drank was barely even not drinking too much and the next day tava was better to eat a pizza and soon after started have severe pain in the gut and much much weakness, one week later I improved a little, one month after I came to feel again, however a little less intense, and improved again, however one month after I started to have arrhythmias that in Portuguese in medicine call extra systoles, it seems q heart will stop ... after a few weeks decreased intensity. in the new year was well drank got sick but improved then had fun on the beach ... weighed 85 kg this epoca..tenho 1,83m ... like my body was one of the few things q I had in me made me q well, at least help me with women ... used to do exercises outdoors ... however after a little while my nervous system began to show signs of failure and could not keep pace, and the TBM physical symptoms got worse and my body and muscles are desfezeram ... in two months I lost 15 kg, this was one of the worst things q happened to me ... right after I tried to recover but no point in, trained but the body or the nervous system not recovered until I saw that was useless to try ... it made me very badly why always imagined what I lost, especially the body ... now I do not have 1/3 of force q had no body even make hiking and so I speed makes me feel bad !! I never in my life imagined that one remedy would cause me so much misfortune, and I'm only 24, today is my aniverssario, but I'm not to celebrate, I can not drink with friends, I can not exalt me ​​emotionally, to fight with my parents and my cousin died have limited time, the withdrawal from lexapro not let me do anything at that age I wanted this living alone without my parents, however the Brazilian economy is very bad, and so'll be for a few years at least, I would have to have a job that pays well to support myself, go out for fun is also complicated, I am with the effects of the recession and also here is very violent, when I walk down the street can not relax, gotta look pros sides and always avoid certain streets, if they come to Brazil Please carefully ... I am now 70 kg with no power, with arrhythmias (danger but has not bothered), and already have nine months I stopped, and my parents did not believe in me that caused it lexapro and despair ...

Admin note: link to benzo forum thread - Blondiee1915: Xanax taper. Need help Hi all . I was on SSRI for 9 years (mostly lexapro) with some small breaks in between. I withdrew fully (don't believe I did it slowly) in July and now 3 months later I am experiencing intense symptoms that became disabling at times . I was initially prescribed lexapro in college for panic attacks and general anxiety . Physical symptoms compared to emotional were not bad for me at all . Now 3 months later my fatigue intensified. I am constantly exhausted no matter how much I sleep . I feel detached and disconnected. I am also indifferent and not emotional (example I don't want to be intimate) the most annoying thing is dizziness and the feeling of disbalance I wonder if it will ever go away . At times I wonder if I should go back on drugs but in all honestly they didn't really help me I just get like a zombie. If anyone can share their experience coming off lexapro, similar symptoms and if gets better . Thank you so much ❤️

Hello, First let me say how much I appreciate all that is being done by those in this forum. I've been desperate for information since going off SSRIs and this site has been invaluable. I wish I would have known about you all before I did the "taper" as recommended by my doctor, but hindsight is 20/20 as they say. I'm committed to staying off of the meds, though it isn't always easy. I miss what felt like "normal" so much. I won't say that every day is awful, but typically a good part of every day typically is, if that makes sense. I think that's the hardest thing for me...I don't feel like I have any solid ground to rest on. A day will begin ok, but you never know when overwhelming fear/anxiety or ugly thoughts will just show up out of nowhere. Or, any of the current physical symptoms: muscle aches, random body pain, pressure by my eyes, though usually my left eye, nausea or lack of appetite will show up. Sometimes I'll just feel a little down, but then I'll go through days where I truly feel like I'm having a major existential crisis and have to hurry up and figure it all out because the end of my life can't be that far away, based on how I feel. Then, a few hours will pass and I'll look back on how I was thinking or feeling and think it was all so weird because it just seems like a dream. It doesn't help we're dealing with Covid and the main things that give my life structure and purpose are working with people at church and school...two things that currently aren't available. My family lives a ways away, though I talk to and chat with them often. They really care, but they use and support the use of psychotropic drugs and I think are getting tired of me suffering for so long and not just going back on the meds, so I have to be careful not to wear out my welcome with them. : ) I am taking a mindfulness based stress reduction course online and also doing DBT therapy, and while these are great assets, they don't seem to touch the emotional symptoms when they are active. I would love to hear from others who are off meds as long as I have been and are still having symptoms. It just seems that I shouldn't still be struggling with these and that adds to my anxiety. I want to remain positive, but it's really hard. Thanks for any advice you could give!

Hello I live in Saudi Arabia. Male, mid 50s, married. I had taken SSRI (Cipralex 25mg) for 6 years. I tapered it for 5 months, then stopped it completely on March 29, 2016. Just to give you some background, I was living happily, never thought of taking AD drugs ever. However, one day, I was subjected to severe conditions that was beyond my control. This situation has caused me insomnia, because of the tremendous stress, and therefore, I started taking SSRI. The doctor, who prescribed it, was not so professional, because he wanted to give me any drug that would work for me, performing trial and error on me. I know that AD drug is not a treatment, but rather a chemical stuff that would screw up brain chemicals to calm me down so that I can go to sleep, and also to improve my mood. I was very much concerned with the withdrawal symptoms, but the doctor reassured me that it would last only 2 to 3 weeks. I believed him, but I wish I did not. He did not provide me a true honest advice. While taking the AD drugs, I developed some side effects: such as fever and PVC. Six years down the road, I noticed that I always want to go to sleep, even if I had just woken up in the morning and had my coffee. This has annoyed me and scared me, as I was afraid that this drug would cripple my life. At this point, I decided to quit and live my life free of AD drugs. The journey of WD suffering started on October 31, 2015. I tapered it for 5 months, and stopped it completely on March 29, 2016. Here is a time line along with my WD suffering: 1-6 months: things were bad, but tolerable. I experienced difficulties falling asleep, with anxiety. 6 mo-1.5 years: Severe symptoms began. It was so severe that I was thinking of going back to AD. I took it for one day, but then regretted that I did, and felt so bad for going back to the drugs. I decided to fight and continue my journey no matter what. I am glad I did. I do not know how I was able to cope with WD symptoms, but it has to do with my faith. Prayers, reading Quran, and reading positive comments that I used to write to myself. 1.5 – 3.25 years: Incremental improvements. Now, I can enjoy coffee and tea, and do my hobbies. I am not 100% recovered. I still have nasal congestion and tinnitus both of which have improved slightly.

I am french. My english is not fluent. 9 months ago, i quit ad and bzd In 1 monte and a half. I was having those médecine since 20 years because of panic attac. I felt very good. So i quited.Big mistake. I took it all again: ecsitalopram 10mg+ tranxene 10mg. Then, started maniac crises. So my psychiatre told me to stop ecsitalopram. What i did in 1 month. 5 months later i am still suffering ouf brain zap, panics attacs etc... i went to see a new doctor Who wants to give me another ad to stop my suffering. To stand my state, since 2 week, I murs take 30mg tranxene by day ! But, I am anxious about having maniac attac again if a take an ad again ! I am not maniac, juste suffering of panic Attac, do you have any advice that could help me ? Thanks so much

I have reinstated twice at low doses. Unfortunately, none of the RIs worked for me, they made me feel worse, but because of the low doses when i stopped them (2 days and 7 days respectively) i went back to feeling the old very bad but not as bad as the RIs. I am in a better place now, actually ;o) Dina - on pp in 2014

I was on 40 mgs Lexapro. started on 20 mgs then increased over 5 years. Have been on various antidepressants for over 20 years. Seeing a Homeopath and trialing remedies. Told by Psychiatrist reduce 20 mgs a week. Frightened by all withdrawal horror stories. Have to work to pay mortgage. Suffering from discontinuation Syndrome. -suicidal thoughts - brain fog - anxiety - panic attacks -stomach upsets - debilitating lack of concentration - constant fear of living My family are supporting me Dont want to go back on meds but scared this may continue for years. Any advice welcome.

Hello everyone. I hope you all find the strength needed to successfully archive your goals towards a better self. I am really torn about what to do next. My story, short: I was on benzo from 1999-2012 and on SSRI from 2002-February this year (2016). The underlying diagnose is anxiety/panic disorder. The journey has been hell (you know what I mean) and I'm not going to repeat what all of you already know...you know how hard it is and how many symptoms one can feel. From feeling like going crazy to extreme hopelessness. From insomnia to jaw pain... Where I am now is as follows: the first two months after my last dose Lexapro were hell but I was nevertheless able to go to work, don't know how actually. Months 3-4 were surprisingly stable I went to work and lived quite normally. I smiled to myself and thought I was archiving victory, as I previously did with benzo. ...but sadly now some weeks ago, in my 5th month things are getting quite nasty. Symptoms are coming back, specially strong anxiety, panic attacks (not every day), nightmares, mood swings and specially muscle ache (jaw and back). I don't know what's happening. I have read everywhere symptoms after 3 months are "yourself" and not withdrawal, same as my doctor says. I really, really don't want to go back. Leaving the medicine was a titanic task...I don't want to go back,l but at the same time I refuse living in this constant pain. This is not life worth living for me. I daily do everything in my power to get better, as I've done this far when tapering both benzo and SSRI; I run 5km each other day, hit the gym, eat healthy, meditate, get lots of rest, have changed my life away from stress, I have no great financial problems, I have this wonderful wife, a wonderful life really...and I can't enjoy it. My question for you, experienced people is: what should I do? I have an appointment with my doc this Monday and I'll have to make a decision by then. Should I hold on and wait for better days (will they come?) or should I take a low dose Lexapro? Even 2,5-5mg were enough for keeping me stable. I mainly got of SSRI to show "that I could", a decision I'm beginning to regret. Is it possible this still could be withdrawal? Thanks a lot Love to you all /Machinehead

I'll just go by Ted. 20+ years on some sort of AD. Mostly lexapro last 10 years, 20mg nightly. Depression came and went usually helped in the short term by the pills and I would stop and the restart the "meds". Finally lost their efficacy and I went CT 13-14 months ago. I am no longer myself. I don't really know who the hell I am anymore. I don't want to do anything. I have withdrawn from anything that requires social interaction. I can't seem to find the motivations to do much of anything at all. I have always been considered higher than average intelligence. Now I feel like an idiot. Memory and cognitive impairment, lack of any feeling/emotion, tinnitus, muscle twitches, rapidly degrading eyesight, etc., etc.. Had a full-on seizure about 3 mo after stopping lexapro. Never had one before in my 50 yrs, and havn't had one since. I can't say that many of the posts here have given me a warm fuzzy about ever recovering from this fully. I wish I had never met these drugs. I am, however, functioning.

Hi everyone I'm Dane, Please scroll down to "Long story short" for antidepressant story or continue for the full picture. 43 year old gay male, from Sydney who has had a couple of years of unstable mental health after being successfully medicated on Zoloft 100mg for around 7-8 years. The dates are foggy. I notice people leave there hx (history) of medications and experiences at the bottom of the posts, if someone could advise me on how to do that, id be very appreciative. Id like to play by the rules. My main issue has always been anxiety. In 1995 I had my first horrific panic attack. And nothing has been the same. My life isn't awful or terrible. I have a lot to be grateful and thankful for, however as time goes on, I'm finding things more difficult. Ive seen this website many times, but felt it was best to join and contribute/learn. I generally have been anxious rather than depressed, however the anxiety and feeling out of control led to me feeling quite down and dark. In my 20's i climbed out of it but when any stress or changes were added like a relationship, a job, a responsibility - I would become overwhelmed with that was being asked of me and get easily stressed and feel like I couldn't cope with life's demands. This has been a common reason for my anxiety. When I hit 30 in 2008 I was really beginning to suffer. I felt very alone, I was job swapping a lot, starting jobs and quitting, very unstable and sexual experiences ramped up. Seeking out novelty and sex and also what's known as "cruising". I then started to feel difficulties just going outside. I was super anxious about even going to the local shops, it got worse and worse and had to be brought back home to live with family. I felt completely failed as a person. I felt i was a burden and couldn't understand why and what was leading me to not be able to cope with life. I developed agoraphobia. I went on Zoloft and that worked for many years. I got two degrees during that time, I graduated, i was working, had friends but never feeling 100 percent. The agoraphobia never really left me at all. Sometimes I could travel long distances and other times I couldn't leave my suburb. Its fluctuates a lot. However I learned to drive a car, and can drive locally and have a job. My issues are finding the right medication or therapist combo. Long story short: 2018 I noticed Zoloft not working as well, I had some challenges with resurfacing anxiety. Went to 200mg, no result. Went onto Lexapro (escitalopram) 20mg, no change really, some side effects. Maybe 20% better. Side note: Ive done pharmacogenomics testing for metabolism of meds (Lexapro a no go anyway). I checked into clinic to wean off it April 2019 and started Effexor at 75mg. Over the course of a year that was increased to 225mg. It would seemingly work for a time at each dose increase and then take a tumble. The other theory I have is that I'm not that depressed really. In April of this year (2020) I went back to switch to Pristiq 100 and Valdoxan was added at 25mg an evening. Pristiq was shown to perhaps work due to metabolism. At the 12 week mark id had mayve 4 or 5 days feeling great. The other times I felt speedy, emotional, numb, sedated, as if the norepinephrine side was working full force, but no the serotonin. I had the energy extreme without the mood. Not fun. I am now down to 50mg Pristiq for two weeks 4-18th of August. I have been given Seroquel 50mg XR to help with the DROP to 0 - in Australia you cannot get 25mg doses. Now Seroquel has worked as PRN but will it work coming off the Pristiq? I'm feeling very poly medicated. And feel I need a HUGE scale back. Medication Journey: 5 medications August 2020 Zoloft 100mg 2012 - 2018 (stopped working) Increased to 200mg (no effect) Escitalopram 20mg Dec 2018 - no noticeable effect except side effects Venlafaxine started April 2019: 75mg (6 weeks) 112mg (6 weeks) 150 (3 months) 187.5 (3 months) 225 (7 weeks.) Each dose increase it just kept failing after an initial boost/response Pristiq 100mg & Valdoxan 25mg (May 2020) Pristiq 50mg & Valdoxan 25mg (August 2020 - due to side effects)

Hi everyone! I am so happy I discovered your forum last week! I am a stay-at-home mother of three children from 5 to 10, and happily married. I have been on Escitalopram 10 mg for one year, since February 24, 2019. A doctor prescribed it to me because I had been in an acute anxiety condition for many days and it was still increasing. I was diagnosed a burn out too. It was hell for me, I wasn't able to do anything, panicking with difficult breathing. I had been doing everything for my family for 10 years, never taking a break, without fun hobby or social life: a perfect recipy for the break down that happened. Now, thanks to my psychotherapy, all the rest I took and the new way I live (I work less, I involve everyone at home and I have hobbies and friends now), I feel better. I still feel tired and in the process of totally healing from my burn out, but I am on the good way. I plan to tapper off from escitalopram because, in spite I tolerate it well, I'm beginning to have more very small involontary movements and I don't like that. Moreover, the doctor who prescribed it to me told me to take it only for a year, which I agree with. I think I will now be able to control my remaining anxiety with my psychotherapy -- if escitalopram ever helped in my healing process, which I'll never know. So I thought I could tapper off within 6 months. My pharmacist told me to do that within 1 month, but I knew better because I wanted to avoid the withdrawal horror stories I read on Internet. What a surprise when I discovered your forum telling I should go even more slower than that! I am so, so scared of the discontinuation symptoms that, believe me, I will go slow and do the -10% every month, should it take 4 years to be escitalopram free. Now my only worry is that I cannot purchase the liquid form in Canada, it is not available in my country... So I will read your advice about how I can make my own oral solution or how to make powder with my pills and prepare smaller doses myself. I should start next week and I'll let you know how it goes. Thank you for being there! Your work here is a real blessing, and I will share it with the many antidepressant-users I know.

Hey Guys, m 24 years old.... I was prescribed escitalopram in 2014 10mg,then after my dose was reduced to 5mg...So in December 2017 I quit it without tapering, which m now learning was a big mistake..... Everything was fine till February 5th when I had my breakup.... Suddenly my brain started behaving differently..... I started feeling like everything is Getting away from me.... Anxiety came back.... Slowly slowly symptoms began to get worse.... I used to wake up in the middle of the night, felt like crying most of the time, loose motion, sweaty hands, chronic fatigue.... Now from the last three weeks I feel like my memory is fading, it's like I don't remember all these years wt actually happened, I do remember most of the things but it just feels like I don't remember them with all the feel.... So last week I went to see my psychiatrist and he said it's a relapse case.... I told him maybe it's the withdrawal symptom then he said they only last for 10-15 days..... AND told me to get back on 10mg again.... At night I took my first dose of 10mg, the next day in morning I started shivering and feeling cold..... I went to pee and felt like m gonna faint.... There was a burning sensation under the skin of my arms and back..... I decided not to take these meds.... So m asking you guys wt is the best thing for me to do now.... Should I reinstate with the small dose and then taper it down or just hope that everything gets better with time?