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  1. unblocktheplanet


    It is possible to taper & wean. What I'm not sure about is whether it's possible to actually feel normal! Mirtazapine worked for depression & sleep for 15 years & then it didn't. A compounding pharmacy made me 3mg Mirtazapine capsules & I dropped 10% a month for ten months. I'm now planning on the same tapering timetable for Trazodone, 10% a month. My sleeps are still awful. I'm 72. I doubt I'll ever be able to wean Alprazolam. 86% relapse. Perhaps cognitive decline or even dementia. I don't blame my docs. It might have been easier to taper & wean earlier on but, then again, it might not. Frankly, I blame it on pharma...& on capitalism. Mirtazapine 30mg 2003-2022 Trazodone 50mg 2003-present Alprazolam 1mg 2019-present
  2. Hi all, found this forum via google searches many a night on how to cope with withdrawals! Like many others on here and I am sure everywhere in the world, I started on on anti-depressant and it just spiraled into larger and larger doses then multiple meds and meds on top of that for side affects. So a general summary was that I went to the Dr around 14 years ago for depression. I was put on Cymbalta 30mg straight off the bat. The side affects were unpleasant but I don't recall specifics of what they were, just that I did NOT like how they made me feel and I stopped them cold turkey. Withdrawals for several months of course, though fairly mild with major brainzaps being the one I most remember. Somewhere along the way I then went onto Mirtazapine. 15, 30 and then up to 45mg over a short period of time, maybe a year or so ramping up? Basically a result of going to the Dr, saying that I wasn't feeling the best on these meds, so they just increased them. I stayed on 45mg for probably 5 years or thereabouts. During that time my personality changed a lot (on retrospection I see how much). I became anxious, paranoid, ALWAYS tired, I started having panic attacks, grumpy, short temper making me snap at people for little, and isolated myself a lot. This went on for years. Each time the Dr would just tell me 'its not a magic pill' and leave it at that. Along the way my marriage fell apart and I moved to a new city. To 'cope' with the enormous increase in anxiety and stress, Dr gave me Olanzapine.... I took maybe 3 doses ever, as that stuff turned me into a zombie. I found a new doctor who I discussed how I felt on Mirtazapine and was switched over to Effexor XR. Ramped up from 37.5 to 150mg in the space of a few months. Generally felt 'good' but then noticed side affects that were persistent, sexual side affects galore, my BP sky rocketed, and hey look my anxiety was still very much around and panic attacks were a semi frequent occurrence. Dr's response was to switch to Paxil - which resulted in a heightened state of anxiety and rolling panic for days until I stopped them completely. Went back onto Effexor, despite the side affects and stabilized. Mirtazipine was then added to the Effexor for 'californian rocket fuel' - still anxious, still having panic attacks.. My BP was now concerning my Dr so was given a Blood Pressure pill, which then became two sets of BP meds, then three. My Blood Pressure still stayed high. Propranolol was added on top to reduce the heart rate and stress on my heart in general. This year was the hardest, I was referred to a psychiatrist, who every 6 weeks would get me to start a different drug. So I went from Effexor to Pristiq 50, then 100mg, Pristiq + Mirt, then onto Pristiq plus Seroquel at night (which made my anger turn into rage), then over to Luvox and some Respiradone and Valium to 'help' with the panic. Luvox basically kept me in a state of permanent nausea for 5 or 6 weeks - the dose was also increased to 100mg. So I spent around 4 months going through a cycle of drug withdrawal and startup over and over. I couldn't cope with being nauseous and feeling awful ALL the time anymore. At which point I had my next appointment with my Psychiatrist who just told me to 'just take half a dose for a few days and then stop them'. I asked that just ceasing any and all anti-depressants after FOURTEEN YEARS on them sounds very dangerous, she just shrugged. So I cancelled any future appointments with that practice, and after much research decided to cross taper from Luvox over to 15mg Mirtazapine and taper down from there. I chose Mirtazapine for several reasons - one was it stopped that permanent nausea everyday from the Luvox immediately, two it was a med my brain and body knew well and would tolerate almost immediately (which it did) and three i knew precisely what I would feel and how it would change me. After around 4 weeks of brainzaps and mild gastro issues as my body cleaned the last of the mix of drugs out of my body, I started to work my way down on Mirtazapine. Have currently gone from 15 > 7.5 > 3.75 with 6 or so weeks between drops. I most recently dropped to 1.875 and will stay here until I stabalise again. So far the steps down have been very mild and tolerable (brain zaps for a day or two then fine), so my body is tolerating the 50% drops ok. 10% is recommended here, but so far for me personally its been ok dropping at 50% each time and stabilizing. The only noticeable (and expected) WD would be insomnia. My sleep quality has really tanked. Though interestingly enough despite low doses of Mirt meant to INCREASE your sleepyness, it has had little affect at all. So thats where I am currently at. Down to 1.875, and taking supplements like Vit C, Fish Oil and Vit B in the mornings and the small dose of Mirt at night. From here, I may need to look at a compounding chemist to begin tapering more slowly on the lower dosages, as cutting a tablet into 8th's is getting very difficult, even with a pill cutter. So the methods of diluting in liquids or a compound chemist will be the plan for the taper slow down (if needed) from here and my goal of being drug free hopefully within the year the final target.
  3. I have been taking Trazadone since January 2014. I started with .75 Traz and have been slowly tapering the past six months. I am now down to .38 Traz after making a cut 2 nights ago from .45 Traz.. I take it at night to sleep along with 7.5 Remeron. I have been doing well with sleeping on the .45 which I have been holding the past 2 months. Last night my sleep was very light and fitful after the cut. I doubt I got that much sleep. Also, this October I will be on year off Ambien 10 mg. I am looking for some encouragement from folks who have been down this road before with Trazadone. Any success stories out there? How did you feel along the way with tapering? How was your sleep? How did you feel one week off Traz, three weeks off, a month off?
  4. Hi all. I have been on a combo of Risperdal and Zoloft since 2012. I reached 3mg risperdal and 200mg zoloft in early 2016, tried to taper off both starting in June of that year, and had a bout of insomnia in November, at which time I reinstated along with an additional 15mg remeron. Adding the remeron, I've learned, was a huge mistake and most likely unnecessary. Since then I've slept at most 6 hours instead of my usual 8. For the first 2 months on remeron I avoided caffeine and tobacco. Then, after picking up both again, my sleep suffered, and I eventually had nights with 2-3 hours. I've since learned that caffeine and tobacco induce the enzyme CYP1A2, which metabolizes remeron, explaining this. By abstaining from both, my sleep has returned. I have also tried shaving a sliver off my 15mg pill with no luck...getting a full night without sleep. I would like to be able to drink coffee and smoke again. That leaves me with 2 options, get off the remeron (seemingly impossible) or tolerate the lack of sleep. If I do the latter, will my sleep eventually not recover even when abstinent due to repeated withdrawals? I had been planning to use coffee and cigs only sporadically, letting my sleep return before using them again, or using only on the weekends. If I that is not sustainable, then how do you recommend I get off the remeron, given my sensitivity to even a small dose decrease? My doc has suggested trazodone as a replacement, but that med interacts with my other meds and a post about it here scared me away. Thank you so much for your help.
  5. Hi there, So I've been lurking on here for the past few months, and some of the advice and reassurance I've been getting from reading threads here has really helped turn things around for me after a truly hellish time, so I wanted to lead with thanking you all for that. It's been nice just to not feel alone in all of this. Now, I'll get into some of my history. I started out taking 50 mg of sertraline after a deep depressive episode that I'd been trying and failing to fight through alone for years in about 2016. I took sertraline for a few years, and started having what brief blackouts for a few seconds or less. This was pointed out to me while I was driving with a family member, and ran a light that I hadn't even realised I'd gone past. After the sertraline struggles, I went on 75 mg of venlafaxine, which didn't really help my depression and I started to feel much worse mentally and really struggling with insomnia. In January of 2019, I was prescribed mirtazapine to help these symptoms, I started out on a low dose, and we later upped it to 30 mg. This helped greatly for years. I started sleeping fully, and gradually found some emotional stability, with maybe some minor side-effects, dry mouth, appetite fluctuations, morning grogginess, but that was about it. I still don't know if these two things are related or not, maybe I was just unlucky? However, in June of 2021, I was feeling extremely emotionally happy. But I started to notice tinnitus and a constant feeling of fullness and pain in my ears. I was prescribed a course of antibiotics, but they didn't really help. I later saw an ENT specialist who diagnosed me with eustachian tube dysfunction. A few months later, I started having a feeling of tightness in my chest, trouble breathing, irregular heartbeats, etc. A few ECG tests after a trip to my GP indicated I had pericarditis. After two weeks of ibuprofen, I was supposedly in the clear. And I was, for a little bit, but then I started having more chest pains, tightness, and palpitations again, along with frequent burping, abdominal discomfort, cycling between diarrhoea and severe constipation for several days at a time. I was also having a lot of vision problems (significantly increased floaters, particularly when I look at a bright or white light source, redness, dryness, and photosensitivity). A 72-hour ECG came back mostly clear, and doctors told me I probably had sinus arrhythmia, which is quite normal and usually completely asymptomatic. My blood pressure was normal too. I was put on omeprazole for acid reflux, which helped for a while, but I eventually ran out. Since my gastrointestinal symptoms had settled, I was told to just ride out the chest issues, and that they were likely anxiety. I tried this for a while, and then I started experiencing some other things, sudden leg and arm twitches, tremors, closed-eye hallucinations when sleeping, increased heart palpitations, neck stiffness, and headaches and tenderness at the back of my head. Having researched some of these symptoms to try and figure things out, I spoke to my doctor, who inspected me for signs of infection as a lot of these symptoms lined up, except for the closed-eye hallucinations and tremors. I was told there was nothing wrong. I brought up the potential of having an adverse reaction to the mirtazapine, and he recommended we wait a little longer. I came back a few weeks later with a lot of the same symptoms as well as sharp pain in my kidneys, increased urination at night, extreme anxiety and agitation, and a return of my gastrointestinal issues, whilst still having all of the other issues. I was given a prescription for a lowered dose of mirtazapine to 15 mg and told to taper over the course of a month. By now, it was December. I'd already started to try to improve my diet and improve some of my habits to manage my acid reflux after the pericarditis scare, no coffee (god, I miss it), no alcohol, much better eating habits, and daily exercise through brisk walking/jogging on the treadmill. This helped a little, but while exercising one night, I felt faint after only five minutes, and had severe chest pain, which hadn't happened before. I stopped and called my local hospital's non-emergency number and explained my symptoms and history. I was taken in via ambulance, inspected by paramedics and quickly examined. A brief ECG while I wasn't having palpitations and a blood test returned normal, so I was told something my chest pain and tenderness was "maybe something muscular" and released. I continued to take my lowered dose, and noticed an increase in whatever muscular chest pain I was having, an overall feeling of dullness throughout my body, increased tremors, acid reflux reaching my throat and causing vocal instability, temperature sensitivity, and a lot of brain fog. One night, I stayed up a little later than usual, and noticed that some of the brain fog and dullness eased significantly for a while. I took my dosage before bed and woke up the next day feeling as awful as I had before. I discussed this as a phone appointment with another doctor at my GP surgery, and was advised to stop the mirtazapine immediately without completing the taper. I did so, and felt significantly better for a few days. Then, I guess the withdrawal symptoms must have caught up with me, because a lot of the feelings I'd had returned with a vengeance. Although I stopped having the hallucinations, improved photosensitivity, tremors, full-body dullness, chest tightness, and brain fog, my acid reflux and indigestion got even worse, and I started having nerve pain, symptoms that seem to line up with peripheral neuropathy, constant gurgling in my legs, loss of appetite, extreme anxiety, heart palpitations that felt completely different to the previous ones, and a complete inability to sleep. After a few days of this, I had sharp chest pain after a sudden palpitation that radiated to my left arm. And then I started struggling to breathe. I returned to hospital, was inspected again, returned normal tests (although they had issues drawing blood from my arms), and was sent home again, being told that it was probably indigestion and my breathlessness was a result of a panic attack on the journey to hospital. After discussing my SSRI withdrawal, the hospital advised me to see my GP and restart omeprazole now that I'd been off my mirtazapine for a few days. It's been about a month since I was in the hospital there, and I can say with certainty that things are getting a lot better. I'm no longer having heart palpitations, my flank pain is mostly gone, I haven't had that full-body nerve pain for a while, my appetite's back, and my anxiety's at least manageable now, a lot of the peripheral neuropathy symptoms are improved, I'm sleeping for at least 4 hours on my worst nights, and I think my tinnitus is finally improving. I'm still suffering with increased urination at night, that gurgling sensation in my legs, irregular heartbeats/inconsistent heart rate, bradycardia, constant tiredness, acid reflux/indigestion (I'm on omeprazole again now, but I'm still having some symptoms), as well as some strange pains in my neck and back, mild muscular pains, a nasal drip and occasionally runny nose, an intermittent cough, and most recently a new kind of chest pain around my sternum that only seems to flare up occasionally (possibly costochondritis, or heartburn, but I'm medically undiagnosed at the moment so it's hard to say for sure). That's most of it, at least, there might be a few other minor things I'm forgetting or I don't think are related to withdrawal, but we're gradually unpicking all of these issues. As for things that have helped me, I'm taking a marine magnesium supplement every night that seems to really calm me and help me sleep, and prevent the nerve pain. I've also found that CBD oil or tea seems to help calm my anxiety and nerves during the day, a hot bath does absolute wonders, and the jogging was helping to stabilise my heart rate from some worrying inconsistencies into something manageable as well as calming some symptoms. It seems every week or few days or so, some old symptom goes away and a new one takes its place, and while I absolutely hate the uncertainty and constant change, things do seem to be getting better overall. That being said, I've felt pretty rough today, this new chest pain's been taking the wind out of my sails and got really bad after I used the treadmill yesterday, so I've decided to avoid that strenuous exercise until it settles. I've discussed it with my doctor and we're keeping an eye on it for now. Things still feel quite worrying and challenging, but nowhere near as terrifying as they used to be, for at least a solid month I had no idea what was going on, and I was convinced this all might kill me. The advice I've found here so far has really helped. I just wanted to share my story, provide some advice for anyone else who is still struggling, reassure anyone else out there that it does get better, and see if any more experienced people on this forum had any advice or similar experiences with the issues I'm still having. Thanks for reading and all the advice! Kairos
  6. Hi Everyone, I am just going to jump right into this. I developed anxiety 4 years ago after having several life crisis in a months time. My mom was diagnosed w Dementia. My little sister was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma.A childhood friend died in his sleep from heart failure. I tipped over from the stress. I went to my GP and she started throwing AD's at me to help silence the anxiety. The AD's only made me worse. I went to the ER one night after experiencing my first panic attack The ER Dr gave me a script for Ativan. I took it for four weeks and then stopped because I was feeling much better. A few days later my world turned on it's axis. I didn't know what was happening. My anxiety was worse, I was pacing, heart racing, Panic attacks daily.... I went to my GP and she said I needed to see a Psychiatrist. To get in to see anyone was 3 months. I started to spiral. I had no idea I was in withdrawal! I ended up in the hospital to get help for my anxiety. I was put on Effexor (75mg)and Klonopin (.25mg). I stabilized and was sent home. I did really well on Effexor. After 4 months on Klonopin I started to slowly taper off. I tapered over 3 months. The taper went pretty well. I was cutting and weighing my pills. 8 months after that I felt good and talked to my Psychiatrist about tapering off of the Effexor. She strongly recommended to go slow and we did. I tapered for almost 7 months. To be honest, the Klonopin was easier to come off of than the Effexor. She put me on Prozac before my last cut of Effexor. Tapered off of the Prozac over 3/ months. I still had some anxiety but it was tolerable. It felt AMAZING to be free of AD'S and the Benzo....then COVID hit and my mom passed away. Anxiety came back w a vengeance. I ended up back in the hospital after a very bad reaction to Zoloft. My new psychiatrist kept telling me to "push through," the first 3 months. I was back on Klonopin but now it was.50mg twice a day.The hospital took me cold turkey off of Zoloft and started me on Remeron and Trazadone. The next day they added clonidine. The klonodine didn't agree w my system at all and I was taken off of that in two days. They released me from the hospital 5 days later. I lasted two weeks on Remeron. I was so disoriented, confused, high anxiety and felt like I could become violent on them so they weaned me off of that over 4 days and put me back on Prozac. Prozac didn't help my anxiety, I had constant headaches for months! I did get an MRI and it was normal. I started to feel more and more depressed on it. I was on Prozac for maybe two months when my psychiatrist took me off of that (tapered over 6 weeks) and put me on Lexapro. I had to have back surgery during this. I did NOT take a single pain med out of fear of making my WD worse. At first I thought the Lexapro was helping? I was still having breakthrough anxiety so he bumped it up. My Psychiatrist retired and a new woman came in to take his place until they could find a new one. She bumped my Lexapro up to 25mg when I told her I was having major anxiety rushes, my face would get bright red, I wasn't sleeping very well. That increased dosage was the worst! I was like a zombie but w heightened anxiety. I couldn't work, I would sit at my desk and space off for hours! I felt awful. So, she told me to start tapering off of the Lexapro (4 weeks total! I knew better...) and she wanted to cross taper me onto Effexor. I started that and boy....the depression was BRUTAL! I was not sleeping well, could hardly focus, anxiety was high, my legs felt like jelly, my head would burn, I felt my brain tingle all the time... I was nearing the end of my rope. I was desperate for a Psychiatrist that CARED. The interim Psych left and a new one came in. She wanted me off of the Effexor because she felt it was too hard to come off of and if it didn't work for me, I would be in for hell. I told her I was scared to switch AGAIN and she assured me that switching to Duoloxetine was it's "sister drug," and I shouldn't have an issue. I trusted her. The last 3 months have been.... (How do describe this hell?!) a daily battle to push through hell on earth. I am still working, I can still function, I take care of myself, my home, my dog. I am a divorced woman with a 22 year old son. I live by myself with my Rottweiler. Life is so friggin' hard when you are trying to get thorough this mess. I now have a WONDERFUL and caring Psychiatric nurse practitioner who truly cares. She is holding me on the last 10mg of Lexapro until the Effexor/Lexapro WD calms down...IF it calms down. I should tell you that I can't believe I have pushed through the last year. My symptoms have been Burning in my head, headaches, tingling in my head, mood fluctuations, burning on my skin, bloodshot eyes, pressure on my chest, sensitivity to heat, depression, sweat easily, joint pain, ringing in my ears, no motivation, grinding my teeth, feeling mentally off at times, at the beginning I couldn't sit still, short tempered, at times in the beginning of the Lexapro taper, I didn't want to talk at times...like I almost couldn't, buzzing in my body, feel like I'm going crazy sometimes, anxiety rushes...etc I am interested in this group for support and the combined knowledge from it's members. I know that NO ONE can tell me when this is going to end. What I am hoping is that someone can tell me what I am going through is normal for all of the med changes? I am honestly concerned if I am still having problems because of the Duoloxetine? My anxiety IS better since I have been on it. I get 8 hours of sleep. I don't drink. I don't use illegal drugs, don't smoke. I eat pretty healthy. I don't exercise. It's tough to get out for walks when you feel like hell and I guess I save my mental energy to work. I know I have rambled on. My mind feels like it's in a vice and also these drugs affect how well I put my thoughts into words. For the most part I am a happy and well adjusted person. I feel like the last few years have been stolen from me because I faithfully followed Dr's instructions and thought they knew best...I was so wrong. Thank you for your time. Blessings to all of you.
  7. Pens


    i’ve been on antidepressants for approximately 10 years doctor put me on different kinds. Just want to be off of them. Recently I was put on mirtazapine to help get off of Pristiq and now I am experiencing with drawl symptoms from tapering down on the mirtazapine. I am withdrawing from mirtazapine at present I would like to be part of a support group to help me get through And to learn if there’s anything I can change i.e. diet to help lessen the symptoms of withdrawal.
  8. Is it possible that I have permanent brain damage from an anti-depressant. I came of Zispin 12 years ago cold turkey and am still suffering withdraw symptoms that come and go. The symptoms are so severe at this moment that I think I'm losing my mind. I am keeping two words in mind 'Courage & Dignity". I'm going through this so long now that I don't talk about it any more to the people in my life. However, its getting harder to deal with because I'm getting older (60) and my physical health is poor. Two years ago I was told I had terminal cancer I was scared but also relived to know I was getting free of this withdrawal problem. The doctor then decided to operate, she told me I had less than a twenty percent chance of surviving. Well, I got free of cancer, I had my lung removed (and my quality of life) and everybody said I was a miracle. I don't feel like a miracle, I feel like a pathetic mess. Can anyone give me a little hope please.
  9. im 47. Since 1992 I’ve been on all the so called anti depressants at some point . Amitriptline in 92 after a major car accident , for 4 years , then duloxetine for a couple of years , then citalopram switched to eicitalopram , then to fluoxetine , then to Effexor ( which actually was only one that helped apart from gave me non alcoholic fatty liver ) then switched to sertraline for 2 years , then next was venlafaxine 75 mg generic , then dr switched me about very quickly to roboxetine , which had me climbing the walls for 3 weeks , then at end of 2019 swapped me straight from robixetine to mirtazpine 30 mg along side venlafaxine 37.5mg . By. Early 2020, I felt like someone had put my brain to sleep . Did not have the get up and go mentally to do anything really . No interest in me life wife kids , just flat . Knew this had to be the mirtazpine . Dr said cut it in half , so 15mg for a week then stop . I said no , and dropped from 30 to 22.5mg . Felt very low for three months . But seemed to settle . But still felt mentally screwed . No Drive no excitement no anger no anything . I stayed put for rest of 2020.in 2021, I had to close my new business as I didn’t have it in me to run it . Bookkeeping . I then declared myself bankrupt . In June 2021,my mother passed away sadly . I had been caring for her when I could for 4 years . I hit a massive void . I have been out of work so I could be there to help her when needed . I was 3 weeks in to a too large reduction (33%) of my 37.5 venlalic when she passed away . I ended up in A and E convinced that I was dying . Drs increased venlafaxine to 75mg Effexor . I didn’t want it but I needed some immediate help . And it did. A bit . I began to taper slowly in august from mirt by 10% or less . I was on 22.5mg in august , I am now on 18.5mg . My last reduction of only .5mg ( 2.5%) two weeks ago. I have severe joint and muscle and tendon aches and cramps . I seem to have become intolerant to histamine ( if I eat a banana in am , 4 hours later I feel like I’m going to pass out ) but this only happens in morning . is this really all possible ? The pains in my joints are if I am100 years old . I’m 47 . And this has all come about since reducing mirtazpine ? Why is this at such small reductions ? How please can I get round this ?? I have crohnes disease and had a bowel resection 20 years ago . This has now flared up , no doubt due to the histamine and stress issues ? I can’t touch cod liver oil or vitamins as it makes me feel hot and anxious ?? What can I do ? No one is listening at the Drs or anywhere ? To add , since June ( at that point I was on 37.5mg venlalic and 22.5mg mirtazpine) I changed from tablet venlalic 37.5 to venlablue capsule in June with three tablets inside , and then tried to reduce this by 1 of the tablets , ( so, 33% for 3 weeks ) failed, so put back to tablet venlalic at 37.5mg. I was also diagnosed adhd 8 months ago . In July , they started me on various stimulants , elvanse 30mg for a week then 50mg for a week. I stopped as didn’t like how I felt . So they put me on dexamphetamin 5mg twice a day , and told me to start to also take the venlalic in eve with mirtazpine , so I switched the venlalic to eve straight away . Went through 2 weeks of feeling proper rough . Stopped the adhd meds as too anxious . Mid July So then I am back to the 37.5 Venlalic in a.m. 22.5mg mirt in eve . started to slowly reduce mirt 22.5 to 20mg. Got real bad due to grief and all, Drs upped venlafaxine to 75mg Effexor capsule in around September . since then done 2 more small mirt cuts so now on 18.5mirt and 75mg Effexor . im hurting . I’m aching everywhere . I can’t eat certain foods with histamine . have I gone wrong ?
  10. Hi - I'm still in the state of shock that I have to join a psychotropic w/d forum for help, because I knew about the dangers of these drugs. Thank you so much for this community. I experienced an intense bout of stress with work earlier this year. I wasn't sleeping. So my doctor gave me 7.5 mirtazapine to take on an as needed basis for sleep. I took it 2-3 times a week from March until mid July. Looking back now, I realize that I may have been experiencing w/d symptoms in between doses. But I was convinced by the "its just an antihistamine at that dose" BS that I now know is not true. I'm no stranger to psych med withdrawal. When I was a teenager, I was put on Ambien and had to come off that, and later benzos, for which I did a slow taper. That was in 2010. Fast forward to 2022 at the age of 30 and I'm being run over by psych drugs again. The symptoms I'm currently dealing with: No sleep (3-4 hours a night max), intense surges of anxiety - like the fight or flight system is in disarray, head pressure, emotional feelings that rotate between windows and feelings of despair, burning feel on my arms..like my nervous system is on fire. The truly worst is the insomnia. If I was sleeping 6+ hours a night I might be able to deal with the rest. I know this is an unpredictable path. Words of encouragement would be great. Especially if anybody has mirtazapine stories.
  11. Hi, I'm not quite sure how to go about this as I'm not super familiar with forums. But I've been on Mirtarzapine 45mg for a couple of years now, I started taking it 5 years ago as a result of a breakdown and have been slowly increasing it. Now I feel a bit more stable in my life and 1 week ago started doing 45mg x 2 nights and 41.25mg approx (I have to cut my tablet so it's never 100% accurate) for 1 night in an alternate fashion. I've noticed I've become more anxious and started experiencing panic feelings...I don't want to give up though. I'm determined to go down to 30mg and stay on it for a while till the next drop. I'm very very afraid though. I'm a single mum with a 5 year old child so I don't want this to affect my relationship with my daughter. Any words of wisdom or support, identification, etc, would be massively appreciated.
  12. Hi, I am in crisis right now and desparate for help. I tapered off effexor 1 year ago and have had no psychiatric meds since. The past year has been rough with prolonged withdrawal and bouts of anxiety along with way, but for the past 3 months I have been doing very well (working a stressful job and handling it well, traveling, etc). For the past week, seemingly out of the blue, I am having severe, debilitating anxiety and insomnia. I also have odd physical senstations that I haven't experienced in quite this way before (odd nagging nausea-not the anxiety kind, but the flu kind; extreme muscle pain; periodic cramping of my hands and feet; a buzzing or tingling sensation in my arms and legs; weakness. I saw my doctor, who ran blood tests- everything is normal. I saw her before the anxiety started- at first, I just had the flu-like symptoms, then the anxiety hit. I don't know what to do....I am going to have to resign from my job (a well-established, successful career of 9 years). I aleady took a leave for 1 month 6 months ago when I was having a bout of bad withdrawal. I feel desperate for relief, and am so desperate that I would even go on meds again (although I swore they were the worst thing I ever did to myself and that I would never touch them again). Is there any chance this is still a delayed withdrawal? Please if anyone can offer me advice, I really need help right now. Thank-you.
  13. Hi there, I'm new to this site but need help! Have had 15 years of AD use, which include a couple of changes due to 'poop outs'. My last change was 9 weeks ago when the 15mg paroxetine that I'd been on for 7 years pooped out. Ended up under crisis team and physchiatrist switched me to 15mg Mirtazapine (straight switch from one day to the next). I had done a similar switch back in 2007 when my lexapro pooped out (tapered down over 2 weeks then switched straight over to the paroxetine). Over the last 6 weeks on Mirtazapine, the physchiatrist titrated me up to 45mg as I was in a bad state. 45mg WAY too high for me and caused akathisia, so he dropped me back to 30mg (after 3 weeks on 45mg). Akathisia better, but still lingering, so he wants to drop me down to 22.5mg. What do I do... I need this akathisia to stop ASAP, so a drawn out taper seems like far too long to wait! But I'm sure my body is in crisis from the med switch and titrating up then quick drop back down. Also used benzos over 4 weeks during switch, and titrated off them. Am I better to put up with the akathisia and do a slow taper? He thinks that drop percentage is fine (25%), but after reading this site combined with the weird experiences I'm having I'm too scared (so I'll need to enlist the help of a chemical compounding pharmacy) . Am I better to do that drop (25%) to stop the akathisia quickly, or just let my body settle down? Do 10% in another 2 weeks time (so that will be 4 weeks after my drop from 45mg to 30mg). I don't know what to do... I have been under the care of the crisis team and been going along with the plan, but can't help but feel these side effects are worse than having no treatment! I'm only 43 with a beautiful husband and son, but I'm scared that I've screwed my poor body up for life. I need advice, and stories of hope (and of easy withdrawls, not just horror stories, to give me hope). P. S Could my akathisia actually be paroxetine withdrawls even though I went straight onto another med?
  14. DruggedSue

    DruggedSue: my intro

    Its been 10 days since I took my last antidepressant and I'm having a rough ride. I've been on one or another since 2010, however even before that I would be on and off one SSRI or another. About a year ago I saw my 7th psychiatrist in 5 years, they keep leaving, and he put me on mitazapine and venlaflaxine. I spent the last 6 months coming off mitazapine and then cut from 150mg venlaflaxine to 75mg then jumped off 10 days ago. I do have some experience of withdrawal from morphine and diazepam and I have always suffered bad side effects when starting a new antidepressant as well as withdrawals. My mental health nurse says I am very sensitive to drug changes. I actually think I'm not, I'm just quite self aware. Currently I'm struggling most with last of good sleep, I seem to be able to go to sleep but my fit bit is telling me I'm barely touching deep sleep, so exhausted all the time. I have terrible stomach issues anyway but the nausea is making eating impossible. I note my insatiable urge for chocolate and sweets is gone. Replaced with wanting a nice home cooked meal yet I haven't the energy to make a drink. I'm extremely emotional, crying at the drop of a hat. I feel pretty hopeless at the moment. I have a retreat booked for the end of August. They use psilocybin but also yoga, meditation, breathwork etc I am hoping I am at least feeling physically better by then as I have to get myself to Portugal. The brain zaps I was getting were unbelievable. I've had them before but nothing on this level. And they weren't just my brain, these were whole body zaps. Bought on by movement or sound. It felt like every nerve in my body was having a fit. Waking from a deep sleep. It was stopping me do everything but the first few days were the worst. Then I think they have become less severe and to a certain extent I've got used to it. Definitely still something going on. I live alone so can all be a bit lonely. No one to discuss things with and it would be nice to have someone to help with walking the dog, walking feels like I'm under water it's just so much effort.
  15. Hi everybody I'm Soren from Denmark, 50 years old, and just started tapering 18 years of Mirtazapine-use. Earlier I have tried to withdraw from mirtazapine three times and every time by doctors instructions (50% two weeks, 50% of the remaining dose two weeks, then stop), and the last time I nearly hurt my beloved cat in rage. It was the most frightening out of control experience and periode in my life. I'm not long into my taper (down to 20 mg from 30 mg) and my taper it is going well at the moment (5% every three weeks). As almost universally experienced by other mirtazapine 'withdrawalees' I suffer day 4 or 5 after a reduction, but come day 8 and I am stabilized and on day 10 I feel a little better than before the reduction. I will write more about my experience with both citalopram, brintellix (trintellix), and mirtazapine later but for know I just want to say thank you. You see I have for over 6 months been browsing survivingantidepressants and even though I can feel the heartbroken, desperate loneliness in peoples struggles, I feel that you are a little more non-lonely when when you are visible for each other. More importantly I will no longer just be a browsing antidepressant surviver. If I (and everybody else who are anonymously browsing) continue to free ride on sites like surviving antidepressants the real magnitude of the antidepressant problem will never be known and the work you do never be recognized (enough). I have seen somewhere (maybe a YouTube video) that survivingantidepressants.org has over 14.000 members. My guess is for every site-member in the withdrawal community (on FB-groups, twitter, RxISK, innercompass etc) there are +1000 more browsing non members out there. So here you have one more grateful member so you hugely important work can become a little more visible. Soren from Denmark
  16. Hi all, I guess this is here for others to view and associate with in their own struggles and battles, and also for me to come back and check my progress as the months go by. I started sertraline 50mg in Oct 2020 after a bad mental break due to ongoing stress and I guess my already anxious personality really showed it’s face. Also added in mirtazapine 15mg in late November 2020 as my main problem was insomnia before starting either drug. You can see the rest of my drug history in my signature. Fast forward to December 2021 and I am seemingly now fighting the affects of said drugs rather than the reasons with which I originally started the medications. All the problems for which I actually started the medications are gone through my work on my mental health and a great journey of understanding. My nervous system now appears to be very unhappy from the catalogue of medication changes in the last 8 months approx. As of December 6th 2021 I am still very much struggling with the physical and mental problems caused by the drop from 75mg to 50mg on September 17 2021. This was originally done to try and aid my awful reflux and indigestion problems, but only appears to have made them worse, temporarily at least. In my bid to reach stabilisation on this dose I am reluctant to change the medication again as I know the ramifications this will have on me, but it is so incredibly hard to wear a brave face and keep going on many days at the moment due to the crippling GI issues. My goal is to reach 6 months on this dose and I am currently at 2.5. Prior to my mental breakdown I was already taking 20mg omeprazole for stomach troubles but had never experienced acid reflux until increasing sertraline from 50mg to 100mg in December of 2020 (last year). I am now on 40mg omeprazole but my GI issues are ongoing. I hope one day I will come back and read this in a different place completely. Currently it is hard to see the sun once again rising with each day that passes. I am doing at least 60 minutes of deep relaxation each day which helps force my body to relax. I have set myself a goal to do this on each day for the entirety of December. It is so demotivating when my nervous system flares up every week or 2 and my stomach and skin are upset with each time this happens. Hopefully if I remember to come back and update in a months time things have changed. For now, thanks to anyone who has read this and I wish you luck through this process. We are all so mentally strong. Erimus Symptom Tracker (Intensity /10): Indigestion/acid reflux (9/10) Anxiety waves (7/10) Shortness of breath (7/10) Tension headaches (5/10) Hot flushes/sweating (5/10) Constipation (5/10) Insomnia (3/10) Sweaty palms (4/10) Muscle tension in shoulders/neck (3/10) Inability to concentrate (5/10)
  17. savinggrace


    Moderator note: link to members-only benzo thread - Savinggrace: missed dose Hello, I have been following Surviving Antidepressants, off and on, for a few years but feel I must join now, as I could use some feedback. I have been poly-drugged for 15 years and on anti-depressants for 35 years. I am not sure how much I should write about how/why all this happened, but surely in the first decades, I just let it happen because I trusted my doctors and had no idea what I was setting myself up for. Since the internet made information so much easier to get, I have spent a lot of time learning about what these drugs have done to my brain, my body and and my life. I am joining this forum for two reasons...I am a person who has to taper extremely slowly. In fact, I just read a post of a man (2012) who planned to take 12 years to taper 25 mg. valium and I thought, "well, that sounds about right for me." On other forums, I have been almost laughed at when I admit how slow I have been, and must continue to taper. The other reason I like this forum is that it addresses the poly-drugging situation that so many of us have gotten ourselves into. This poly-drugging, in my opinion, has made everything so much more difficult. I guess there is a third reason, and that is that I have followed Rhiannon on BenzoBuddies and before that on a Yahoo group for years. She seems so rational, calm, and non-judgmental about all this. I have read many posts about not tapering from a place of feeling w/d symptoms. What if I said I have been in tolerance w/d (if that term is used here) for at least 14 years? I have not felt well, and in fact, have been quite sick all that time. About 6-7 years ago I got the courage, after tons of reading to start tapering. After making a 1 mg. cut (less than 10%) of valium, and suffering a near-seizure on the 5th day (that's what my doctor told me was happening and I believe him because 1 mg. valium relieved everything), I started tapering .5 mg/ month. (my signature will explain what happened before that) I did that for a few a year or so, but "hit the wall" so to speak, and tried .25 cuts (cut and suffer method). Very long story as short as possible, I only went from 17mg. down to 13 mg. before I was not able to cut any more and remain even remotely functional. A year or so ago, I decided if I couldn't cut valium, I would try another of my drugs. I have managed to taper 25% with small cuts and holds over a year, but again feel totally dysfunctional and unable to proceed. I think, at this point, up-dosing any of my drugs would require too big of an up-dose, and likely an unsuccessful one at that. I am holding now, but the reality is, I have many co-exisitng medical conditions, some caused by these drugs I suspect, and some not, that I really can't treat w/ meds as they interact with my psych meds and de-stabilize me immediately. I suffer a lot. I have no quality of life. I am 61. I can't go back; only forward. I am currently holding my trileptal cut to give my brain a rest. There is a lot more to share about myself but this was way too long already. How long should I hold? I feel like it will take quite some time before I feel like my brain has adjusted to this 25% cut. (done in 5-10 mg. increments, holding about a month w/ each cut) Here is my signature because I am not sure where to post it: Amitriptyline for 20 years and then remeron, 4 mg currently , ambien 10-15 mg. for 5 years and then updosed klonopin to get off ambien in 2011; klonopin 2 mg. for 10 years and then crossed over to valium 17.5 mg in 2010. 300 mg. trileptal for 13 years; tapered down to 225 in the last year. Holding on everything right now.
  18. Hi I am new to this forum and this is my first post . I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine and 200mg of pregablin , I have been on these mess for about 3 to 4 months . I have just cut my mirtazapine from 30mg to 15mg and in the space of 4 days I have have horrible side effects , anxiety through the roof , shaking , lack of appetite poor sleep crying spells and the general feeling of feeling crap . The reason I have started to withdraw from the mirtazapine is that after 3 months I feel no benefit only get awfull side effects . No help with my anxiety and depression if anything it's made me more depressed . I have gone through withdrawing from Effexor and that was really tough , however just the drop for a few days of the mirtazapine has left me crushed , my doctor told me that mirtazapine was a easy drug to withdraw from , but after 4 days it has left me house bound . Has anyone got any idea on how I get through this or any experience in mirtazapine withdrawals
  19. Hi, this site was recommended to me and I'm very grateful to have found a place where people might understand what I'm going through. My story with antidepressants starts 10 years ago, but I've only really had problems with them within the past year. In 2017, I was switched from fluoxetine to citalopram. The citalopram worked for me, and I was quickly upped to a dose of 30mg, which I happily stayed on for 4 years. This takes us to November(ish) 2021. In November I was really struggling with my anxiety, and physical symptoms which were new to me. I had lots of tests done to rule out any physical illness, and nothing abnormal came up so I was just really confused about what was happening. Everyone kept saying it was anxiety but I couldn't really believe it, because the symptoms were so strong and I'd been dealing with anxiety my whole life and it had never presented like this. My doctor suggested that I increase my citalopram to the maximum dose of 40mg. I'd never been on the maximum dose as I'd always been warned off it because I am underweight, but I did it anyway. I tapered up to 40 by January and stayed on it for about 6 weeks. It didn't help whatsoever - in fact I just felt worse, because I had some side effects from the increase that I'd never experienced previously. Skin crawling, tingling and numbness on my left side, etc. It was horrible so I decided to reduce back down to 30mg. I'd achieved this by late February. At this point, my mental and physical health has been feeling awful for about 4 months. I wasn't able to work, socialise, or do anything at all really. I'd developed extreme health anxiety from having all these new symptoms which I was convinced could be a serious medical condition, and I had now started to develop constant nausea (my worst symptom, as an emetophobe). At this point my doctor started to talk about me switching medications altogether. I was open to it, because in 2017 I'd made the switch from one SSRI to another and it went so smoothly that I just thought this would be the same. She suggested Sertraline, so I started to taper down the citalopram in preparation for that. I got down to 20mg by May and it was really difficult. The nausea, foggy headedness and tingling symptoms were constant. But, looking back, in mid May when I'd settled on 20mg I actually felt a bit better for the first time in a while. I was able to do slightly more and felt less sick every day. I think a wise decision at this point may have been to stay on 20mg and just allow my body to calm down and give myself the chance to have a life again. BUT back in April, I'd had my first appointment with a psychiatrist. After telling him everything, he suggested a medication I hadn't really thought about, Mirtazapine. He told me that when I came off citalopram completely, I should start 15mg of mirtazapine then work up to 30. I sort of took this as a better idea than sertraline, I'm not sure why really...I think because I knew that mirtazapine increased appetite, and I wanted desperately to gain weight because anxiety always takes my appetite away. So I ditched the idea of sertraline (which my doctor seemed fine with after hearing the psychiatrists new recommendation) and continued to taper down further. I got to 15mg by the start of June, and tried to drop again to 10mg. Things were just getting awful, I felt I was worse than I was in May, and I couldn't see myself being able to get all the way to 0 without just having no life anymore and becoming a shell of a person. At this point my doctor prescribes me 7.5mg of mirtazapine to take alongside 15mg citalopram, as a sort of crossover, so that I could continue to taper down citalopram but have the mirtazapine to make me feel a bit better. I took the mirtazapine for a total of 5 days - it made me very sleepy, very groggy in the mornings, and very emotional. I did in some ways feel mentally better - my overthinking definitely reduced and I was finally hungry again which was amazing. But when I told the doctor that I'd been very groggy and tired and had felt very off kilter, she told me to stop the mirtazapine immediately and just stick to 15mg citalopram for a while. This brings us to now. I'm at a loss - I stopped the mirtazpine last week (which has given me withdrawal symptoms too, even though I was only on it for 5 days - headaches, pulsatile tinnitus, worse brain zaps and tingling) and now I'm just sitting with being on 15mg of citalopram, half of what I've been on for 4 years and feeling pretty hopeless. The worst part of all this is the physical symptoms which just disrupt everything. After reading on here and on reddit, I think I'd describe them as brain zaps - a sort of constant tingling in my head which makes me nauseous and makes me feel like my head is fuzzy. I also feel sick at the thought of doing anything - its so hard to describe, but I literally cant picture myself doing anything without feeling spaced out and nauseous. I feel like I am just not on the same plane of existence as anybody else - my head is spaced out, I can't enjoy anything, I feel like crying, my thoughts are quite literally racing and my body is just messed up by all these medication changes. I feel such regret for ever trying to withdraw from citalopram in the first place, especially when I was in a bad place to begin with. I can't imagine how to get out of this hole that I've dug for myself. After reading about medication tapering online I realise I've done it at the wrong time, and far far too quickly, and I'm living with the consequences now. As for trying to settle the symptoms, I've of course tried lots of different supplements with limited success. In fact, since stopping mirtazapine, I'd say supplements make it worse. A few days ago I took a vitamin B supplement and the next day my head was pounding and I had pulsatile tinnitus, and last night I tried a magnesium supplement and today my head is pounding again. I'm very lucky that my family is able to look after me during all this, but they are constantly telling me to 'get out and do things', which I think is their reaction to the idea that all of this is just anxiety, and nothing actually physical. Its so hard to get people to understand that it feels like my body and brain are falling apart, and that withdrawing from my medication (something I chose to do which was meant to lead me on the road to recovery) has made things so so much worse, mentally and also physically. I hope that this will be the lowest point for me and that things will improve, but I have no idea. And I don't even know whether my next step will be more withdrawal, or reinstating the citalopram, or just staying at the dose I'm at. But I'm pretty scared for any of those directions because I've just bounced from one bad experience to another, and somehow I'm scared that it could get even worse.
  20. Hi all. I’m writing on behalf of my husband. Bit of background: 2003 was put on Prozac for 3 months- no adverse reaction and subsequently various doses of venlafaxine which he successfully came off of with no issues. 2013 was switched from Venlafaxine to sertraline. Had ‘activation syndrome’ (extreme anxiety) for 8 weeks (always thought it was him) but went away once body used to drug. August 2021 had been on 25mg for years and thought he would taper over 2 months, successfully came off no issues or problems. january 2022- I was having a C section and he was a bit worried, nothing extreme though, just normal worry and decided to reinstate the Sertraline. Within days, ‘activation syndrome’ was back. He stayed on for 5 weeks and then doctor said ‘come off as you weren’t anxious or depressed to start with’ symptoms of withdrawal started but manageable. He thought after 6 weeks that it wasn’t withdrawal as nhs website said it should have gone after 2 weeks! March 2022- started mirtazapine at 15mg going up to 30mg. Fine for 3 weeks, but then developed activation syndrome and quickly came off. GP advised to go back on to sertraline at a bigger dose- ended up in a and e, so agitated! 3 weeks later, he thought that the mirtazapine might be less activating at a smaller dose, so went back on at 15mg… alas, 3 weeks later, activation syndrome is back! june 5th came off and has been battling severe anxiety, but generally, every other day! I am aware of windows and waves but don’t understand this. One day he’s perfect and the next can’t leave the house! He also started propanalol in June which we feel makes it worse as apparently it blocks seritonin to a degree, but makes anxiety a lot worse if he reduces (or maybe he did too big a jump). NHS have left us to it, no help! Have a private appointment on Monday. Questions are: If he is getting windows this early on, is it a good sign?! The only symptom he has is extreme anxiety/agitation which seems more a reaction to lack of seritonin, thus firing out tons of cortisol? Could he go on a low dose of Prozac to see if that helps? Prozac is the only antidepressant he doesn’t think caused activation syndrome?! is there any experiences with propanalol making matters worse? I think there is a slight improvement in the anxiety but considering it’s only been out of his system for 6 weeks I expect takes a lot longer to build new pathways etc/level out. Thanks for reading. Just want my husband back, it’s destroying me and him!
  21. Hello everyone, This is my first post and I want to apologize for my poor English, I’m a French Canadian. I will try my best! My story started in 2007, when my GP put me on mirtazapine because I was suffering a big bout of insomnia, following a stressful year. I was a young 27 year old woman without any health issue and I was very naive at this time. I trusted my GP a lot. Big mistake! I went to see a psychologist and did some cbt. This allowed me to taper down my mirt, so after 5 months of tapering, I stopped mirtazapine. Of course, no one has told me about withdrawal syndrome, so I thought that the rebound of insomnia (from mirtazapine) was a relapse. This is where my GP decided that I had a general anxiety disorder. I was now labeled. She put me on celexa 20mg (with seroquel 25mg). 4 months later, I got pregnant, so my dear GP asked me to quit Celexa and seroquel asap. I immediately stopped seroquel and I tapered down celexa from feb 2009 and stopped it by July 2009, at 6 months of pregnancy (My GP assured me it was safe for my baby). I already had the intuition that a rapid weaning was not a good idea. I didn’t suffer any w/d symptoms at that time and finished my pregnancy in pretty good shape. Few months later, 2 months after giving birth, I had a relapse of anxiety in the form of my dear insomnia coming back. Of course, my GP wanted to put me back on AD. This is where we started to have trouble finding an AD that was working for me. Celexa wasn’t working anymore. I tried cymbalta and it wasn’t working either. I tried Paxil and it finally worked. I stayed on Paxil for four years and a half. By mid 2014, after some stressful events, I started to feel that it wasn’t working anymore. My GP asked me to quit Paxil fast then switch to mirtazapine. So I quit Paxil within 3 weeks. After the last dose, I had very hard time for the first 3 weeks. Then she put me on mirtazapine 30mg and Pristiq 50mg. I stayed on this cocktail for some years. At some point, I asked my GP if I could stop my AD, but she explained to me condescendingly that I was like a diabetic with insulin, I couldn’t live without those meds. She was destroying my self confidence. In 2018, I decided to stop Pristiq because I wanted to have only one AD to take. I taper down Pristiq , by switching to effexor, relatively slowly (but more than 10%) and stopped it by January 2019. My GP upped my dosage of mirtazapine to 45mg to compensate. This is where problems started. I didn’t feel any w/d symptoms in the beginning, but slowly, during the next months, I started to feel more and more anxiety. By May, I had a big relapse of anxiety related insomnia. I overcame my insomnia with cognitive behavioral therapy, without any meds. This gave me some confidence so I decided to wean myself of any drugs. I started a slow taper of mirtazapine . I decreased my dose by 10% each 2 weeks. In august, I reached 30mg of mirtazapine and decided to make a little break from tapering and stayed on that dose for few weeks. Unfortunately, during that break, I’ve had the biggest relapse of anxiety of ALL my life! Of course, my GP asked me to return at 45mg of mirtazapine. But it didn’t improve my mood. Since then, I’m struggling with a lot of anxiety and I’m not able to get rid of it. I’m experiencing big mood swings. Sometime I see some improvement, then the next week I fall again in a deep hole of anxiety. I don’t understand myself anymore. It’s like I’m a stranger in my own body! Worst of all, 4 weeks ago, I started to have OCD like obsessive thoughts and that’s very unusual to me, because I never had OCD before and I'm 40! I’m actually seeing a good psychologist, but even with that, I’m not able to cope. So I’m here and I really don’t know what to do. I’m very desperate because I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I have the feeling that mirtazapine is pooping out and that it causes some of my problems. Maybe I’m always on the rebound of stopping Pristiq to. Who knows! This is why I would like to stop this drug and heal myself from all this toxic stuff!! Sorry, I had a lot to say... Thank you
  22. Hello to all the lovely people in this forum. I am here because I have been experiencing withdrawal symptoms since I stopped taking Venlafaxine eight months ago. I withdrew from 225mg in a span of six weeks as my GP recommended, which is too quickly. After seven months of hell I started taking Mirtrazapine following my psychiatrist’s advice after hesitating for a while. I started on 15mg last month, recently increased to 30mg and now I can sleep better and don’t have horrendous panic attacks as I wake up anymore. But the sheer terror, the absence of positive emotions, the constant negative thoughts, the rapid heartbeat, the chest pain, the hypersensitivity, the lack of energy, the anger, the dread about everything, etc… are still there, especially in the mornings when I just don’t want to live anymore. I am here now because I have lost hope on my recovery. I’ve tried everything and I also feel as if I’d stripped my brain off its own ability to produce “happy chemicals” by tapering off too fast. But that may be just the “depression” talking. I’ve read that reinstating Venlafaxine can help, which brings some hope regardless the fear of taking that stuff again, and my psychiatrist is happy to put me on that (aren’t they always?). But I don’t feel that I can trust doctors anymore, so before making any decision I just wanted to ask real people with real experiences... I’ve got so many questions because I’ve been so alone throughout this process wondering whether my brain can heal on its own or not, wondering if there is any way of living life again. I’ve really tried to keep going but now I am exhausted. I just can’t do it on my own. Maybe it’s worth noting that I’ve been also taking beta blockers, and also Aminoacids (5HTP, Tyrosine, GABA) along with a lot of vitamins and supplements such as Magnesium, Lithium Orotate and fish oil following a book that I found on the internet called “The Mood Cure”. Thank you for your time. All the best x B
  23. Hi Altostrata thank you for this info. I have just discovered these forums and had not heard of the 10% rule until now. I was on mirtzapaine for about a year and got up to a very high dose of 60mg. It did not help me and I should have been taken off it much earlier instead of increasing the dose higher and higher. Over the last few months I've been trying to taper off it by increments of 7.5mg. Since then I've been getting this horrific feeling of being electrocuted just as I'm about to fall asleep, and am punched awake again. It's left me desperately wanting to sleep but afraid of sleep at the same time because that moment when you're about to nod off then ZAP. I reduced my dose lower and lower and towards the end I sped up my tapering rather than slowing it down as I couldn't stand the zaps and just wanted this toxic **** out of my body. It would have been well over 10% of that dose. I had nobody to guide me through this and didn't realise that at lower doses you need to taper extra slow, not faster. I realise I've been showing all the signs of somebody who's extra sensitive to dose reductions. Now my sleep is even worse than before I started taking antidepressants. I have lost the ability to sleep altogether. No matter what I do, I'm awake all night, and am still getting the zaps. I've been feeling so hopeless I want to die. I often have to take sleeping pills to get any sleep at all, but they usually only give me about 3 hours, a little less. I don't want to get hooked on another drug and then go through this nightmare withdrawal thing all over again. I don't know what to do. What would you suggest? Is it worth getting back on it or just trying to ride this out? Have I done permanent damage to my brain? I need help
  24. Hello. This is my first post. Can someone please direct me towards how to make a signature and a drug history. From what I understand the signature is a condensed version of the drug history and visible to all users whilst the drug history is visible only to moderators. Is this correct? The drug I am beginning to withdraw from is Mirtazapine. The only other drug I am currently taking is HRT which I don’t intend to change at present. I’ve been taking an antidepressant of some sort or another for about 20 years and have changed from citalopram to Mirtazapine about 2 years ago. There were other drugs and alcohol in the mix intermittently until quite recently too which I will go into as I go along and figure out how this site works. Until a couple of months ago I was taking 30mg of Mirtazapine. After a couple of cuts I am now taking 20mg. The first cut was down to 22.5. My main symptom kicked in after a few days and was characterised by feelings of anger, rage and difficulty sleeping. Thinking back, maybe the cut was a bit too big, but my symptoms abated after a couple of weeks. Once I felt comfortable and stable from this dose (just over a month), I cut another 2.5 mg to my current dose. I experienced irritability and trouble sleeping again, but this is now improving. I don’t feel that I am stable yet and plan to stay on this dose for at least another month. I don’t have any terrible symptoms but just feel like my brain is still catching up. It’s like an intuitive thing and trying to tune into my body. So in general I feel like it’s going quite well so far. I’ve been dipping into this site and found it very helpful in driving home the importance of going slowly. I’ve had some horrific cold turkey withdrawals from other substances and want to approach this methodically and do it properly. I’ve spoken to a doctor about it as I wanted to change the format of the drug from oral dispensable to tablet so they are easier to cut. He was completely uninterested and neither asked questions about my decision or offered any helpful tips. I didn’t really expect anything different but it’s kind of funny how people always tend to stress the importance of talking to a doctor before making any decisions regarding changes in medication. He offered me 15mg instead of 30 and I said I wasn’t ready to go to that amount yet and said I would be in touch when I am. Most people I speak to about this seem to think I am foolish for attempting this, especially given my dubious history around substance use. The popular opinion is that if a doctor prescribes you a drug, it is safe, and you need it. But I have come to a point where I have had enough and want out. So here I am, and that’s my current status.
  25. Hello I have been on Anti Depressants since 2016. The only one that made any difference for a few months was Duloxetine 50mg. That stopped working for both depression and anxiety so I discontinued it back in 2019. I was ok for a couple of months but then started feeling anxious again, and the GP reintroduced it. Fast forward to 2021 and a bad dose of Long COVID, and I had to stop the Duloxetine as it was giving me heart disregulation. I then tried Escitalapram for a few weeks but was unable to tolerate it, so the GP prescribed me Mirtazapine. This was put up to 30mg in March 2022, then I developed severe anxiety and discontinued, having a cross taper to Duloxetine again. Whilst cross-tapering, I discovered that the combination of Duloxetine and Mirtazapine seemed to stop my anxiety and so the GP has prescribed this combo. I am only in week 1, but some days I feel fine, and then like today, all I want to do is crash out. I have no job at the moment and feel pretty hopeless. After reading the report in today's news regarding the lack of evidence for the Serotonin hypothesis, I feel like just binning the whole lot of antidepressants, and using diazepam to withdraw off the lot. However, every time I come off antidepressants, I feel like my symptoms rebound. I am starting to feel like a chemistry play set, and don't want to feel this way. I am 47, wife a family.
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