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  1. Hi All: I have been taking 3.75 mg. of generic remeron daily for the past 4.5 years. About a month ago, I thought I should taper off by reducing to 1/8 of the 15 mg. pill that I had been cutting into quarters for the 3.75 mg. dosing. Around day 26 of the taper, I started getting GERD, heartburn, insomnia, dizziness, all the usual suspects. I upped my dose back to 3.75 about 3 nites ago. I thought I was on my way to feeling stable again, but last nite came no sleep, with sweating, racing thoughts, and diarrhea. This a.m., I feel so terrible. My question is: how long to expect the withdrawal symptoms of the taper on the way back up to my pre-taper dose. I felt fine while taking this amt and was prescribed it for insomnia and post menopause symptoms. Now I realize I may be a life member of the remeron suckers club. Hope to hear from those who have had similar experiences.
  2. I have been taking Trazadone since January 2014. I started with .75 Traz and have been slowly tapering the past six months. I am now down to .38 Traz after making a cut 2 nights ago from .45 Traz.. I take it at night to sleep along with 7.5 Remeron. I have been doing well with sleeping on the .45 which I have been holding the past 2 months. Last night my sleep was very light and fitful after the cut. I doubt I got that much sleep. Also, this October I will be on year off Ambien 10 mg. I am looking for some encouragement from folks who have been down this road before with Trazadone. Any success stories out there? How did you feel along the way with tapering? How was your sleep? How did you feel one week off Traz, three weeks off, a month off?
  3. Hello everyone i’m a 26 years old male. End of 2017 the doctor give me mirtazapine because I was sleeping very bad for over a year. She said it wasn’t addictive and if I dont like it I can stop anytime. I never had depression or anxiety in my life the only thing was the lack of sleep. I started it in december 2017 at 15mgs in the evening. The first day I take it I got some kind of panic attack I couldnt think, everthing feels strange and my hands were tingling. I went back and asked if it was the medicine but she thinks it was just a panic attack because of the lack of sleep. I stop taking it for a couple of days. Then I started it again because the doctor assured it wasnt the medicine. When I started again the only thing I noticed when I took them are some kind of brain zaps and restless legs. But that did go away after a few weeks. Everything went good after that for 4 months,I sleep during that 4 months the only side effects i noticed were that I eat a lot and sometimes I got the tingling in my hand and feet. After the 4 months I became very scared because I was just sitting at home and out of nowhere I getting very scared and noticed that what I now know getting intrusive thoughts. I never had them in my live. Then I started googling and find out I wasnt the only one who has problems with this drug. I was so scared that I decided to quit the drugs so I went to the doctor again. This was around March 2018. She tould me to take 7,5mg for 3 weeks and after that 3,75mg for 3 weeks and then quit. When I jumped to 7,5 mg I felt great for a few weeks then I go to the 3,75mg and felt terrible I couldnt function at all I was very tired and even watching television became to much. I couldnt eat,sleep and noticed I get tinnitus and my ears got very sensitive to sounds. I hold it for a couple of weeks but then I cant take it anymore so I went back to 7,5mg and felt relief after three days. That worked for a couple of weeks but after that I noticed the intrusive thoughts are back and they would get worse. After that I googled the whole day and became obsessed about the withdrawal. I hold at the 7,5mg for a couple of months because I was to scared to decrease. Sometimes I felt good but most of the time I felt realy bad and scared that I never get better. In July of this year I decided to taper because the symptoms get very bad again. I went to the doctor and asked for the liquid mirtazapine and she agreed. At the moment I am doing a four month taper, every 2 weeks I am going to drop 1mg and at the moment Im at 4,5mg. I know it is way too fast but I never stabilize on a dose and Im already sick all the time. At this moment my symptoms are: Racing thoughts Tinnitus Nausea cant eat much losing weight. Obsessive about withdrawing Some kind of brain zaps/tension in head. Muscle twitching I get some sleep I think 4 or 5 hours but some days i dont sleep at all. I follow some topics here about mirtazapine for a while and I know it is a very bad drug.
  4. Hi everyone Great to have found this website...I have been on SSRI's and more recently SNRI (mirtazapine) for past 17 years and the mirtazapine for past 5 - I have been depression free for past 5 years (previously had between 10 to 12 major breakdowns since age of 21 including whilst on the drugs..I am 38 now)...phew it's been tough but I have made it this far! I decided that, if I could go 5 years without a major depressive episode, that I would try and come off my meds as a I feel I have developed the coping skills and resilience skills to manage my mental health drug free...I reached 5 years and started in August 2019 - I managed to cut down from 30mg to 22.5 and then 22.5 to 15mg over the course of 5 months...I had a period of about one week of WD during both reductions and it was very unpleasant but I just toughed it out and it passed and I felt better again - so I made it to 15mg which I thought to be quite an achievement! With this in mind and also wanting to get off this drug as fast as possible (within reason) I decided to cut the 15mg pills and start on approx 11mg around 9 days ago (with my doctor approval who is, by the way, absolutely clueless)....I have been suffering WD since day 1 including anxiety, foggy head, insomnia, slight ringing ears and generally just feeling low and not myself - I thought that this will pass if I just tough it out again but now, 9 days in and after reading a lot of stuff online I'm not so sure...it seems that with mirtazapine (and possibly other drugs) it gets harder as the doses get lower...which is hard to believe when you see the size of the 11mg in your hand. I have now found this website and it's incredibly helpful and I'm so glad to be here and able to talk to others about this! My first and REALLY important first question to ask for advice is should I go straight back up to the 15mg where I felt ok and stabilise there before thinking about my next approach which could well be the 10% reduction advocated on here? I just want to feel better again so I can cope with stresses in my life...I would appreciate some responses ASAP as I may do this tonight! Could I possibly use a quality weighing scale and go to 13mg or will this just further confuse my nervous system more? I'm sure I'll have lots more questions in time but this will do for now Lovely to meet you all Big love and strength from Malbec37
  5. First I want to thank this community for providing such critical support to so many in need of informed guidance. I am here to seek advice for reinstating after having tapered of Lexapro WAY too fast (throwing my brain off a bridge). This was my second time on Lexapro for anxiety/depression with a starting dose of 5 mg for 5 months, increase to 10 mg for 5 months. Though Lexapro worked for me the first time (from 2008-2016 at 10 mg) , this second time around it hasn't worked nearly as well to address my anxiety and associated light insomnia. As a result, I decided to take myself off Lexapro (which I realize I should not have done without guidance.) After my taper, I felt okay for about 5 weeks. But around week 6 I started having anxiety and insomnia like I have never experienced before. I tried to ride it out but when severe depression set it, I decided I needed help. Since we had moved overseas during this time, I had to find a new psychiatrist. She put me on Paxil 10 mg, which significantly increased my anxiety and depression so much she took me off after a week. She then put me back on Lexapro 5 mg, which seemed to kick off severe insomnia - 5 nights with less than 2 hours sleep. Now she wants me to stop Lexapro and start Mirtazapine 15 mg since she says it will help with insomnia and weight loss (I am about 8 pounds underweight.). Having read through several SA threads and guides, I think it might be better if I just try and stabilize with the Lexapro. Though perhaps that window has closed and I should just switch to Mirtazapine and stabilize on that for several months before planning your advised 10% taper. I appreciate any guidance.
  6. Hi I am new to this forum and this is my first post . I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine and 200mg of pregablin , I have been on these mess for about 3 to 4 months . I have just cut my mirtazapine from 30mg to 15mg and in the space of 4 days I have have horrible side effects , anxiety through the roof , shaking , lack of appetite poor sleep crying spells and the general feeling of feeling crap . The reason I have started to withdraw from the mirtazapine is that after 3 months I feel no benefit only get awfull side effects . No help with my anxiety and depression if anything it's made me more depressed . I have gone through withdrawing from Effexor and that was really tough , however just the drop for a few days of the mirtazapine has left me crushed , my doctor told me that mirtazapine was a easy drug to withdraw from , but after 4 days it has left me house bound . Has anyone got any idea on how I get through this or any experience in mirtazapine withdrawals
  7. Hello all, I finished my 4 month benzo taper in April 2019 after 1 year of taking it as prescribed . I had developed interdose withdrawal and tolerance to benzos and didn't know what it was at the time. After finally figuring out what was going on, I figured out how to taper. I was also floxed with Cipro while in tolerance from benzos. It was absolute hell, and I can't believe it did it. Determined to be off of all medications, I started to taper off of Prozac and Mirtazapine. I went too fast initially, and now I'm really suffering. I'm going to hold until I stabilize. I would appreciate any advice from anyone else who has been polydrugged. I know I need to go slow- 10% a month. Do I finish the Prozac taper first and then work on the Mirtz? Thanks in advance for your help!!
  8. Hi all. I have been on a combo of Risperdal and Zoloft since 2012. I reached 3mg risperdal and 200mg zoloft in early 2016, tried to taper off both starting in June of that year, and had a bout of insomnia in November, at which time I reinstated along with an additional 15mg remeron. Adding the remeron, I've learned, was a huge mistake and most likely unnecessary. Since then I've slept at most 6 hours instead of my usual 8. For the first 2 months on remeron I avoided caffeine and tobacco. Then, after picking up both again, my sleep suffered, and I eventually had nights with 2-3 hours. I've since learned that caffeine and tobacco induce the enzyme CYP1A2, which metabolizes remeron, explaining this. By abstaining from both, my sleep has returned. I have also tried shaving a sliver off my 15mg pill with no luck...getting a full night without sleep. I would like to be able to drink coffee and smoke again. That leaves me with 2 options, get off the remeron (seemingly impossible) or tolerate the lack of sleep. If I do the latter, will my sleep eventually not recover even when abstinent due to repeated withdrawals? I had been planning to use coffee and cigs only sporadically, letting my sleep return before using them again, or using only on the weekends. If I that is not sustainable, then how do you recommend I get off the remeron, given my sensitivity to even a small dose decrease? My doc has suggested trazodone as a replacement, but that med interacts with my other meds and a post about it here scared me away. Thank you so much for your help.
  9. Hello everyone, This is my first post and I want to apologize for my poor English, I’m a French Canadian. I will try my best! My story started in 2007, when my GP put me on mirtazapine because I was suffering a big bout of insomnia, following a stressful year. I was a young 27 year old woman without any health issue and I was very naive at this time. I trusted my GP a lot. Big mistake! I went to see a psychologist and did some cbt. This allowed me to taper down my mirt, so after 5 months of tapering, I stopped mirtazapine. Of course, no one has told me about withdrawal syndrome, so I thought that the rebound of insomnia (from mirtazapine) was a relapse. This is where my GP decided that I had a general anxiety disorder. I was now labeled. She put me on celexa 20mg (with seroquel 25mg). 4 months later, I got pregnant, so my dear GP asked me to quit Celexa and seroquel asap. I immediately stopped seroquel and I tapered down celexa from feb 2009 and stopped it by July 2009, at 6 months of pregnancy (My GP assured me it was safe for my baby). I already had the intuition that a rapid weaning was not a good idea. I didn’t suffer any w/d symptoms at that time and finished my pregnancy in pretty good shape. Few months later, 2 months after giving birth, I had a relapse of anxiety in the form of my dear insomnia coming back. Of course, my GP wanted to put me back on AD. This is where we started to have trouble finding an AD that was working for me. Celexa wasn’t working anymore. I tried cymbalta and it wasn’t working either. I tried Paxil and it finally worked. I stayed on Paxil for four years and a half. By mid 2014, after some stressful events, I started to feel that it wasn’t working anymore. My GP asked me to quit Paxil fast then switch to mirtazapine. So I quit Paxil within 3 weeks. After the last dose, I had very hard time for the first 3 weeks. Then she put me on mirtazapine 30mg and Pristiq 50mg. I stayed on this cocktail for some years. At some point, I asked my GP if I could stop my AD, but she explained to me condescendingly that I was like a diabetic with insulin, I couldn’t live without those meds. She was destroying my self confidence. In 2018, I decided to stop Pristiq because I wanted to have only one AD to take. I taper down Pristiq , by switching to effexor, relatively slowly (but more than 10%) and stopped it by January 2019. My GP upped my dosage of mirtazapine to 45mg to compensate. This is where problems started. I didn’t feel any w/d symptoms in the beginning, but slowly, during the next months, I started to feel more and more anxiety. By May, I had a big relapse of anxiety related insomnia. I overcame my insomnia with cognitive behavioral therapy, without any meds. This gave me some confidence so I decided to wean myself of any drugs. I started a slow taper of mirtazapine . I decreased my dose by 10% each 2 weeks. In august, I reached 30mg of mirtazapine and decided to make a little break from tapering and stayed on that dose for few weeks. Unfortunately, during that break, I’ve had the biggest relapse of anxiety of ALL my life! Of course, my GP asked me to return at 45mg of mirtazapine. But it didn’t improve my mood. Since then, I’m struggling with a lot of anxiety and I’m not able to get rid of it. I’m experiencing big mood swings. Sometime I see some improvement, then the next week I fall again in a deep hole of anxiety. I don’t understand myself anymore. It’s like I’m a stranger in my own body! Worst of all, 4 weeks ago, I started to have OCD like obsessive thoughts and that’s very unusual to me, because I never had OCD before and I'm 40! I’m actually seeing a good psychologist, but even with that, I’m not able to cope. So I’m here and I really don’t know what to do. I’m very desperate because I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I have the feeling that mirtazapine is pooping out and that it causes some of my problems. Maybe I’m always on the rebound of stopping Pristiq to. Who knows! This is why I would like to stop this drug and heal myself from all this toxic stuff!! Sorry, I had a lot to say... Thank you
  10. Hello. I am wanting some advice on withdrawing from the drugs I am currently on. I am taking 60 mg cymbalta, 5 mg zyprexa and 7.5 mg mirtazapine. I would like to withdraw from all 3 at the same time. Is this possible
  11. Hi, I was healthy, happy person until 2017. Unfortunately I went through situational stressfull period in the beginning of 2018 and was prescribed Mirtazapin to calm down and to go it over easier. I took 7.5mg for 2 months. Already 3rd day on it neuroanxiety started, I was scared to death but accepted it as starting symptom (I even didn't know it was anxiety). Overall I slept 13hrs a day, felt dizzy and anxiety was there about twice a week so after 2 months I stopped CT knowing nothing about ad wd. 6weeks after non-stop massive anxiety started, I was put on Sertraline, which caused 100% insomnia, fever, vomitting so stopped after 10 days and I was put back od Mirtazapin and stepwisely went to 30mg to "cure" neuroanxiety from Mirt (I didn't know it, I was thinking having serious anxiety disorder)...however anxiety persisted even in lesser extent and I slept good...After 1 month on 30mg I started to be extremely agitated and shortly after anxiety increased and my sleep crashed to 4hrs as well some melancholic spells started. I finally started to google in English and found out that Mirtazapin is cause of my state.. Since Nov 2018 I started tapering 10% every 2 weeks, I know, fast taper but still manageable for me (I had absolutely no pattern in wd sxs). I was on sick leave and still am. Last cut was to 4mg (23rd June). Since July I hit the wall as severe nonstop anxiety hit me again with high BP spikes and terrible other symptoms (sxs were at scale from 1-10 at 5 until June, since July 9-10), I'm bedridden. I hardly sleep, waking from anxiety, sweating terribly, up at 4 a.m. I have to say I have never had anxiety, depression, insomnia my whole life as well any disposition to it (no childhood trauma, very sociable), I have hormonal issues. Currently I know I will have to hold to stabilize. But I'm desperate because my anxiety is so severe it is unbearable for me. Should it be unavoidable during wd I'm not able to go through...I lost already 20lbs on Mirt and have no more reserves. Just I have feeling I'm stuck in this forever but feeling terribly so it can't go on so. Any supportive words?
  12. Hello: I am here after a person on another forum (BenzoBuddies) alerted me to the existence of this one when I queried if anyone there had experience with tapering/eliminating Aripiprazole (Abilify). I am currently working on titrating down from the Clonazepam I have been taking. I have hopes of eliminating all the medications listed in my signature, in time. Once I have eliminated the Clonazepam, I would next like to work on the aripiprazole, then the Mirtazapine. I have only very occasionally used the alprazolam. So, I do not see that as a real hurdle. There is an erroneous date listed in my signature. It should be 2012. If someone could guide me in editing it, I would sure appreciate it. It was kind of a mystery just to create it. I hope to find some useful information and encouragement here. I did a big drop of the Clonazepam (50%) on September 19, as instructed by my doctor. Withdrawal symptoms were uncomfortable, but not terrible. Days 1-3 met me with needing a bit more time falling asleep. Days 15-21 met me with some irritability, headache (most days), one night of insomnia, a few days of mild depression and some free-floating anxiety. Day 22 and onward, the aforementioned symptoms were gone and I was feeling better than what was my normal self. I am glad for this. After reading a lot of information (Professor Ashton's manual & on the BenzoBuddies forum), I decided to continue with reducing the Clonazepam at a rate of 25% every 14 days. Yes, I know it is more than recommended (5-10%), but I believe I am capable of proceeding at this rate and take comfort in the fact that I can always adjust my dosing, if needed. My dose tonight will be ~.4700. When I began taking the medications (in 2001), I was diagnosed with PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder (without psychotic symptoms). I did spend some time in a psychiatric hospital (~3.5 weeks), during which time several different medications were tried/thrown at me. I don't remember all of them (prozac & paxil, are two that were tried...). I did not take any but the Clonazepam longer than a few days/weeks. Oh, except lamictal. I took that for about 6 months (in 2001). Almost forgot about that one. A couple other antidepressants were tried just before I began taking the Mirtazapine in 2010: Effexor, Celexa and Trazadone. They all made me feel loopy, so I rejected them. Sleep is what I needed and the Mirtazapine helped to deliver that. The Abilify was a depression add-on which did seem to give me an overall improved affect/mood. Since 2001, I have remained steadfastly committed to and deeply engaged in an in-depth therapeutic relationship (with a couple practitioners). As a result, I have achieved a complete psychological, emotional and spiritual make-over. Over the course of the past couple years, I have questioned if I really have a need to continue taking the medications, for I simply am not the same person I was 17 years, 10 years, 5 years or even 1 year ago. It is my deep hope and desire that I will eliminate the medications. It will be very nice to see who I am today, without the medications. That's my history, in a nutshell. Cleerity
  13. Moderator note: Link to Nikki74's benzo thread: lexapro kindling akasthesia Mirtazipine diazepam Help. i recently stopped lexapro after a short taper from ten to five mg over 9 days. i had been on 20mg since 2011 then tapered quickly in June and stopped. This was a few weeks after stopping pregabalin 150mg v abruptly. all this time I was also on 15mg Mirtazipine. my anxiety went crazy and gp told me to double Mirtazipine dose to 30. I lasted 3 weeks of hellish symptoms and was put on diazepam and Zopiclone. im now off Zopiclone which was tough. 6 weeks ago GP told me to go back to 15mg Mirtazipine and add in 10mg lexapro. This didn't help so now have stopped lexapro three days ago but took 2.5 mg last night as am feeling withdrawal. gp wants me to start tapering diazepam as I'm getting worse akasthesia when it wears off or even a paradoxical reaction to it. i have akasthesia. Insomnia. Severe anxiety. Shaking. Muscle weakness. Obsessive thoughts and suicidal ideation as cannot go on like this. The only brief ride break I get is the 15mg Mirtazipine which calms me for 2-3 hours. How can I go on? i am a single mum and have CFS already for many years. do I stay off the Lexapro now? How do I cope with withdrawals, akasthesia, and tapering diazepam?? I take 7mg a day been on it three months. i can't stop in one place and am smoking (just tobacco) every half hour. i got sober in 2013. this is hell.
  14. Hi all, I’m so grateful for websites like these. I was on Mirtazapine for over a year at 15mg/day for sleep. Can’t remember exactly how long. I’m so stupid I stopped cold turkey. I just didn’t want to be on them anymore. I did not keep record of timeline but I believe after 8-12 or more weeks of stopping all of a sudden I couldn’t sleep. However, I’ve been going through a lot of relationship issues that has caused me emotional pain and anxiety which I though it was that until I researched withdrawal. I panicked and took a dose of 7.5mg and 15mg here and there. It wasn’t working like it used to so I decided to go on 7.5mg everyday for last two weeks. Panicked and up it to 15mg for a few days. Now back to 7.5mg. I’m so scared. I can’t sleep. Some night I can’t sleep at all. In the last week I sleep for four hrs and automatically always up same time every night (4hrs of sleep). I don’t know what to do. I jus want to come off again and deal with the insomnia. No other symptoms except for what I’m feeling with my personal issues. I shouldn’t of come back on and just went with insomnia. Should I just stop it all together again since I cannot sleep anyway?
  15. Community of healing, hello. my name is dave. in february of 2012, things started going terribly wrong. i have always been a person with some anxiety and depression. in fact my parents began medicating me for this when i was in the first grade, when the nuns at the parochial school i attended informed them i wasn't "living up to expectations." at this time (early 80s), the medications were as heavy as they are today - in fact, many of the drugs that were put into my childhood body are currently considered barbaric in standard medical practice. nice. anyway, in my teen years and early 20s, i tried many different medications. prozac, paxil, zoloft, blah blah blah. i wanted to put out the fire - i wanted to mellow out and not feel the anxiety. i wanted to not feel the sadness. i was taught that those things were not ok to feel - that these human emotions were to be avoided at all costs. the line-up that my doctors settled upon were remeron and ativan. the remeron was 7.5mg daily, the ativan .5mg as needed. for over a decade, i kept the remeron between 3.75 and 7.5 - the ativan, between .25 and .5. i've always been a "little dab will do you" individual. when i still consumed alcoholic beverages, i was a totally cheap date. 1 drink felt good, 2 drinks was a nap on the couch. my system has always been highly sensitive, as so many of ours are. in late 2011, the ativan wasn't working anymore. the doctors threw in some xanax and bumped the ativan dose. it helped a little. in early 2012, i noticed some profound dizziness - like i was walking on a swaying ship. i had actually been noticing this for a year or more, doctors could find no pathology to explain it. but it was getting worse. i suspected it was the remeron. my doctor said, "well, stop taking it." so, i ditched the 7.5mg of remeron cold turkey YAHOOOOO! and my system went nuts. i could not eat, i could not sleep. i began losing weight - lots. in hindsight, i realize i was in full benzodiazepine tolerance withdrawal and remeron withdrawal. my doctors said it was "just the anxiety getting worse." they were just about ready to throw some klonopin into the mix when i bailed. i started a rapid taper that essentially amounted to a cold turkey from the ativan and began to suffer intensely. between the months of april 2012 and june 2012, i went from being a solidly built 162lb marathon runner to a 129lb human who could not lift his head off the pillow, barely acknowledged his wife and children, was confused as to who the president was and what month it was, and finally, began having intense violent intrusive thoughts - both suicidal and outwardly motivated. i checked myself into a hospital. i was so scared. i figured that was the thing i needed to do. get fixed. as soon as i got in, they tried to get me to reinstate the benzodiazepines. i refused. in my lucid moments, i had read too much online to do it. they put me on seroquil, which produced serious side effects. they switched me to risperidone and left me with that. i wanted out of the hospital. they became fairly insistent that if i were to do so, i would need to be on another medication. i mentioned reinstating the remeron. they liked that idea. they put me back on 7.5mg. a day later, they bumped me up to 15mg, a day later, they bumped me up to 30mg. my whole body was vibrating. i was having nocturnal emissions nightly in the hospital bed. the intrusive thoughts and all the other withdrawal symptoms skipped along merrily, unaffected by the drugs, but the hospital thought i was "good to go." so off i went. oh, and they handed me a script for valium on the way out "just in case." in the hospital, i mentioned both benzo and antidepressant withdrawal. even offering to show them the ins and outs of the ashton manual, which in the benzo world, is fairly revered. the doctors took a position that what i had to say was of little consequence. they were the doctors after all, they should know best. and any words on my part were greeted as a questioning of their authority. the next 8 to 12 months were essentially hell. i kicked the risperidone to the curb almost immediately. if anything, that anti-psychotic was making things worse. the 30mg of remeron was so damn activating, i wanted to jump out of my skin and climb up trees daily. but i felt stuck on it. when i began experiencing intermittent periods of gradually extending "windows" and "waves," i began to taper the remeron slowly. things were very bad for a very long time. very bad. did i mention that things were VERY VERY BAD? i managed to keep my job. it wasn't easy. when i was at my very worst, i would work from my bed at home. getting up to puke, sitting in a stupor, trying to answer e-mails and phone calls as if my brain were not a bashed-up mess. trying to put together sentences. when i was able to return to work, the intrusive thoughts were so bad, i either stayed glued to my desk, or else went back behind my office building and fought off the daily urge to throw myself into the waters. i wanted to die so bad. those waters were almost calling me into them. i fought back. and i am glad, beyond, that i fought. by the 8 to 9 month mark, things started improving somewhat quickly, the tapering of the remeron was becoming somewhat easier, the benzo symptoms were easing. the windows got longer and longer until the waves became basically a couple hours during a day or two per month. i need to cut this short. i could literally write a book about this whole experience, but i don't want to waste your time and i myself have to boogie. let me just say this. i am still tapering - i am now at 2mg of liquid remeron. i have a pharmacy compound for me. i make 10% cuts, hold for 4 to 6 weeks in between, and go in for another round. when i cut, i feel it the day after i make it - an intensification of the symptoms. things settle for a short while. around the 2 week mark after a cut, it kicks me harder. usually restless legs, nausea, intestinal disturbance, mild insomnia, intensification of anxiety and the desire to cry for no reason at all. the intrusive thoughts are totally gone. i don't experience these anymore. and i am thankful. they were my worst symptom. they plagued me and plagued me and plagued me and they are gone. i try to eat as clean as possible. higher protein, lower carbs, almost no refined sugars. i short-circuit the cortisol response by waking at 0345hrs each morning. i am at the gym very early, i put in a workout, i go to work. i could not exercise at all for the first year after withdrawal. it would activate my central nervous system to much. but now i lift weights and lift heavy and i do only enough cardio to keep that system as optimal as i feel it needs to be. i supplement with whey protein, vitamin d, b vitamin/folic acid, magnesium, and some occasional omegas in the form of either fish oil or hemp protein. i do not drink alcohol. i do not use pot. i consider these substances a colossal waste of time. i do not use any other chemicals that will interfere with my brain chemistry. i'm not sure how much of a hassle these last 2mg will be. i think i will probably be all done with the remeron by the end of 2015, if things keep ticking along. that is my goal at least. after benzo withdrawal, and the remeron withdrawal that followed, i know i can weather whatever storm. i'll own the pain. i'm not a tough guy at all. but withdrawal has showed me two things: that i can live through hell on earth and that the anxiety and depression that underlies my personal psychology is "normal," and manageable without the use of chemical substances. thanks for taking the time to read this. and no matter where you are on your own journey, hang in there. when i was 129lbs and barely able to move, barely cognizant of who i was, i doubted that i would ever heal. i am almost there, community. you will be too. hang in there...
  16. I am so glad that I came across this forum! I feel like crying when reading peoples stories and their struggle with coming off the antidepressants! I was prescribed Zoloft for anxiety and Depression which I have been suffering for years! Mainly anxiety and panic disorder! I am otherwise healthy. Zoloft caused PGAD that has caused me so much anguish, I feel like I am living in a nightmare! I only took Zoloft for 3 days 25mg and this happened to me! I wanted to and still have thoughts of suicide! I felt that I was some kind of a freak and pervert! It has been 4 weeks and things have improved but not completely gone! I constantly feel burning sensation, and tingles that drive me crazy! I can deal with the burning sensations but tingles I can not stand! I got better then I took a herbal supplement for anxiety and it has come back today! I am taking fish oil supplement and I wonder if I am now sensitive to fish oil too??? Should I stop or cut back on fish oil? I just don't know what to take anymore! I never could imagine that this could happen to me as I was not aware! The doctor did not mention anything so I had no idea! I am naturally a slim person and my only worry at the time was if I was going to gain weight while on antidepressants, and my doctor reassured me "Very Unlikely". I took her word for it and I took the medication. In did not want to deal with, anxiety, depression and plus weight issues as a result of antidepressants! I told my doctor what happened to me and like many others have reported "she has never heard of it". That made me feel so humiliated and embarrassed. The point is that the doctors are not educated in regards to this issue. I recently went back to her and told her that I am still experiencing issued down below, burning sensation ever since Zoloft and she said that it is a coincidence! I am sick of doctors, they are full of ****! You tell them one thing and they turn it around! I just prey this eventually goes away and settles down! If this does not settle down I would consider removing sensitive part of my anatomy! I hate it! I can't stand it! How is everyone else coping with this? What have you found that helps? I have not felt peaceful down below for the last 4 weeks! I have never heard of this condition prior to taking antidepressants. Please help, Thank you.
  17. Hello Everyone! My name is Tomek, I'm 33 years old and my miserable adventure with antidepressant started 9 years ago in December 2009. My entire history with antidepressants is in my Signature. Suffice to say that I had some experience with withdrawing from many meds especially from SSRI and benzodiazepines. Xanax withdrawal. In 2014 after an accident I was very much addicted to Xanax, taking it every day. During that time I had some very unpleasant incident with this med. On one Sunday I started to feel extremely bad. From very early morning to late night I had many unpleasant symptoms like: extreme sweating (all the time I looked like I've just had a shower), muscle pain, muscle stiffness, tachycardia, extremely dry mouth and problems with my eyesight. I completely stopped taking Xanax at that moment. I was in this terrible state for the next five days. The good thing is that after this incident I practically stopped taking benzos for good. During the last 4 years, I've taken them maybe once per year and even that in very small doses. The bad thing is that since then I still have problems with my eyesight, specifically, my eyes have some strange problem with focusing on objects, like my vision becomes shaky when I try to focus my eyes. To this day I'm still not 100% sure what happened to me. Was it benzo withdrawal like my psychiatrist suggested or something else, for example, serotonin syndrome (I was on Clomipramine and Mirtazapine back then). After this incident for the next 6 months, I had a terrible anxiety almost every day. Anyway, in December 2014 I started taking Paroxetine 30mg (Seroxat) again. Since September 2014 I’m also on Mirtazapine 15mg. From 2015 to 2017 I actually felt pretty well on those meds. Even problems with my eyesight weren't very bothersome, although it never completely healed after the incident with benzos. Paroxetine withdrawal. Finally, at the end of 2017, after 3 years I decided to start withdrawing from those meds. My liver tests weren't very good so that's one of the reasons but not only. My first attempts weren’t really successful as I hesitated between 30mg and 20mg. During January 2018 I went three times between those doses. One of the reasons is that my close friend died during that time. This made me feel very depressed and anxious. I don't know if this was because of changing those doses or because I was very stressed back then but I started to feel physically ill. I was nauseous, weak, I had dizziness and photophobia. After three weeks I started to feel a little better. I decided to tamper the doses very gradually. For two weeks I was reducing from 30mg to 20mg. After that, I stopped reducing and was on 20mg for 2 months. Then again reducing from 20mg to 10mg for 2 weeks. Then 3 months on 10mg and after that reducing to 0mg for 3-4 weeks. I finally stopped taking Paroxetine in August 11th 2018r. Changing the dose slowly from 30mg to 20mg wasn't that bad. However, going from 20mg to 10mg was a whole different story. I had unpleasant brain zaps and was nauseous. The worse part was actually my mental state. I was constantly irritated, even the smallest things could make me feel angry. Never in my life felt something like that. Fortunately, after 2-3 weeks, I started to feel better. Not as good as before changing the dose but I could make through the day without hitting my desk with fists. So somewhere in the middle of July, I decided to finally go for it and try to reduce my dose to 0mg. During it, my photophobia and afterimages increased. On August 11th, 2018 was the first day since more than 3 years that I finally survived the day without Paroxetine. Since then I'm depressed almost every day, especially in the mornings, a few times I had panic attacks during the night and couldn't sleep. I'm still on Mirtazapine so that helped me with sleeping. Then fun fact though is that without Paro I managed to finally go on vacation after 5 years ;-). In the past, I always felt too lazy to go somewhere. Mirtazapine withdrawal. My next plan was to withdraw from Mirtazapine. I started reducing doses from 15 mg to something like 11mg at the end of September. At the end of October, I was on 7.5 mg for almost three weeks. Unfortunately, I started feeling worse, more often had panic attacks and my eyesight went even worse. At the beginning of November, I've returned to 15mg but that didn't help me very much. My eyes still have a problem with focusing and my vision is shaky, I'm experiencing brain zaps although they're not as strong as they were before. At this point, I'm not sure if it is a good idea to withdrawing from Mirtazapine so fast when I've just stopped taking Paroxetine like 3 months ago. On the other hand, I really want to try to get off this med. I apologize for any mistakes in this text due to my poor English.
  18. (MOD NOTE: this post was moved from another area of the site after the member's Intro topic was responded to) Struggling ..dont know is it a relapse or withdrawal I am from india.now i am in a confusion whether it is a relapse or withdrawal...where to ask i dont know...my doctor is very compassionate and says that it is a relapse...but i feel it like a withdrawal...what to do?
  19. MOD NOTE: This is Gemma92's topic. Before Gemma joined SA her sister icerose posted requesting assistance. I've merged the two topics so that all of Gemma's history is in one place. _________________________________ Hello. I am new here, and I’m posting on behalf of my 26 year old sister who has been in a psychiatric unit for a week. My sister has a history of mild depression and functionable anxiety. She had occasional bouts of anger, periods of intense fatigue, and nightly hallucinations usually during sleep paralysis. She started having occasional panic attacks a few years ago. (The only psychiatric medication she had been on prior was Prozac during her childhood.) Despite her struggles , she was generally happy and enjoyed life. In August 2017, she had her right thyroid removed due to the growth of a large, benign nodule. Her anxiety slowly seemed to increase over the months and she experienced a panic attack after taking Benadryl (something that never happened before when taking Benadryl.) To help combat her anxiety, she started taking 10 mg of Lexapro in May 2018. Not knowing the danger of taking it intermittently, she took it whenever she remembered. Her doctor increased her dose to 20 mg which she took daily for 2 weeks. In early July, she developed strep symptoms, but tested negative for strep throat. Her doctor diagnosed her with laryngitis. Her throat hurt so bad, that she cold turkeyed off Lexapro because it hurt to swallow the pills. She continued to show symptoms of strep throat and was finally diagnosed on July 4, 2018. After 2 doses of Penicillin (and a couple days off Lexapro) she experienced an episode lasting a couple hours where her moods alternated between intense fear (needing to hold Mom’s hand, impending doom, confusion, depersonalization, terror from Hell) and fits of giddiness (giggling, silly talk). She hallucinated once during this episode (shadow in kitchen.) She stopped taking the Penicillin because she thought it caused the episode. Her doctor told her the strep would probably go away on its own. A week later, she noticed swollen lymph nodes on her neck (near collar bone.) She started another antibiotic which she finished. She started noticing increasing anxiety in the morning that would subside at night. She took Effexor for 5 days, but cold turkeyed because she thought it was worsening her anxiety. She lost her appetite around this time and had to quit her job. At the end of August 2018, she admitted herself into a psychiatric unit for 5 days. On one of the days, she had a fever and sore throat. It was not addressed. They put her back on Lexapro at 5 mg which she took daily for 1 month. During this time, she also took 0.5 mg of Lorazepam as needed. (10 pills over the course of a month) She cold turkeyed again off the Lexapro and Lorazepam because of bad heartburn and no help with anxiety. After this, she developed physical symptoms such as bad night vision, light sensitivity, ear ringing (stopped as of now), cold sweats (stopped as of now), bone chilling cold, dizziness, nausea, poor appetite, extreme weakness, chest pain (went to ER twice because she thought it was a heart attack), and mucus in her stool which was ongoing since before Lexapro. Her mental symptoms increased as well. Her anxiety became “anxiety from Hell” that resided in the pit of her stomach. She experienced impending doom (worse upon waking up), crushing depression, hopelessness, and inconsolable crying spells where she appeared to be very agitated. She obsessed over her health and started doing research. She self diagnosed herself with Lexapro withdrawals, adverse reactions, kindling, neurotoxicity, and brain damage. After seeing a psychiatrist on October 23, 2018, she started 15 mg of Mirtazapine. It dulled the massive anxiety, but brought out rage, verbal aggression, and threats directed at her family. She cold turkeyed the Mirtazapine after 6 days (last day was 7.5 mg). Her rage went down and her anxiety went back up. A few days later, she had a few hours a day where she felt like herself. (Was it the Mirtazapine starting to work?) A couple days before Thanksgiving, she went to the ER after a day of inconsolable crying, anxiety, and impending doom. They sent her home saying “there are too many questions marks in this case so follow up with your psychiatrist.” She had another intense crying/anxiety episode the following day where she was begging for help and immediate relief. She had stopped eating and drinking as was planning her suicide by starvation or going out to the woods to die. She went back to the ER via ambulance and was admitted into the psychiatric unit. After almost a week of refusing meds, she agreed to try 7.5 mg of Mirtazapine. It’s been 3 days since then and she is experiencing numbness in her head and discomfort on the ride side of her body. They are suggesting an antipsychotic (Zyprexa) or electroshock therapy. Since this nightmare began, she never stabilized on any medication and cold turkeyed off everything. She keeps calling me and begging me for advice. I don’t know what to do because I don’t know what’s wrong. No one has an answer. I thought maybe she had Lyme but her test came back negative. I thought maybe she had PANDAS because of the strep. Or maybe it is the fact she never stabilized on medication and kindled her brain. I came here for hope though because I’ve been lurking for a month and I know many of you have recovered from many years of psychiatric drugs and withdrawals. She wasn’t even regularly on anything for more than a month or two at a time. So we need to get her stabilized and we can begin to treat underlying issues. My question is how do we do that?
  20. Hello, I would like to ask what i should do with my mirtazapine tapering. I started mirtazapine about 10 months ago with dose of 7.5 mg for sleep. I have tried multiple times to quit it cold turkey and i haven't succeed with this kind of method. My doctor prescibed me Trintellix (Vortioxetine) for depression 10 mg/daily which i ate for 13 days and i didn't see any benefit from it during that short period of time. When i started Trintellix i just stopped mirtazapine cold turkey and i slept ok and anxiety was manageable but at day 6 on trintellix + mirtazapine cold turkey withdrawal i experienced serious increase in anxiety so i ate 7.5 mg mirtazapine and day after that i ate 3.75 mg mirtazapine. My anxiety reduced after this and i was again 5 days without mirtazapine and again terrible anxiety came back, tinnitus and i wake up at 3 am anxious and unable to go back to sleep. I don't know what i should do. It would be really nice if you can recommend good aproach for withdrawing from mirtazapine. I don't really want to eat anymore AD:s because i haven't noticed any benefit from them for depression. Mirtazapine has helpt with sleep alot. I think that i should continue mirtazapine withdrawal and quit Trintellix at day 14 because i dont want to be addicted to psych drugs anymore. Two years ago i ate bupropion for 7 months but i had quit it because it started to cause itchy rash around my body. After quitting bupropion i experinced worst depression ever in my life and it also probably destroyed my sleep + memory.
  21. Hi Guys. I have been on every SSRI over the past 2 years, apart from Paroxetine. This all started from some situational anxiety at work. Each time i took a medication i was on them for about 3 month without any benefit at all. I would loose time at work, cold turkey and return back to work. Each time i did this i was getting worse and worse. I would then return back to the doctor and ve started on something else. This has basically gone on for 2 years. All this time i have got worse. I have now come to understand withdrawal and the fact i could have well been prescribed numerous medications due to an illness been mistaken for withdrawal. 8 weeks ago after stopping my second attempt of Escitalopram for 3 months i decided to stop for good with a fast taper. I feel anxious, dizzy, fatigued, poor cognition and inability to focus. I know if i take a dose of SSRI that this will improve however i will return to the Zombie state of meds. I am finished with medication!!! On reflection my problems i encountered prior to any medication was far easier than the problems i have had the past 2 years on medications. I think i have been a victim of Psychiatry! I dont think i ever needed medication! My chemical imbalance was created by meds! If i had no knowledge of this i would be stuck in Psychiatry! I just want to know ppls experiences and can i still be in withdrawal at 8 weeks after 2 years of messing about with meds. Thanks Lee
  22. Hi everyone, I am writing to seek support during what has become a frightening experience for me. I have a history of severe depression and as I started to come out of the last one in the middle of 2018, I accepted the proposition put by al psychiatrist that I needed to be on high doses of psychiatric drugs. The two most significant were Lexapro at 45mgs and Mirtazapine at 90mgs daily. He also had me on Epilim and Propanolol to counter the impact of the benzodiazepines I was withdrawing from. The Lexapro was causing me to be uncomfortable with wind and I came off it over a couple of weeks at the end of last year without any difficulty. The Epilim and Propanolol were also removed. The massive dose of Mirtazapine remained, however. Even though it is prescribed off label for sleep, I was finding getting to sleep increasingly difficult. This is what led me to make a mistake seven weeks ago. Without consulting anyone I reduced the drug to 45mgs for three nights. This led to the onset of a nasty nauseous sensation in my body. I rang the psychiatrist and he told me that if I reinstated the dose the symptoms would go away. They didn't. So we reduced the dosage to 67.5mgs to see if that would enable me to stabilise on the drug. The symptoms continued. So we agreed to get off the drugs. Over the course of a week the drug was reduced to zero. Now after three nights the symptoms are worse and I am getting little sleep. This morning I was aching so much that I got up and tried to watch the cricket. My mistake was that I assumed as anti- depressants are not addictive and that because I had come off the Lexapro so easily that a reduction in my Mirtazapine dosage would cause me no problems. Moreover, I did come off 30mgs on another occasion with no problems. As as it looks as if reinstatement is not an option given the nature of my symptoms, I simply don't know where to turn. I fear that I am looking at an extended period of massive discomfort which could lead to a return of the depression.
  23. Hello everyone. I'm CF. Been of psychiatric medication for 4 years, when I was a teen - due to depression and eating disorders. After switching many drugs, by August 2019 (discharged from last hospitalization) I was taking: 100*2mg Lamotrigine, 20*2mg Clotiapine, 25mg Promethazine, 400mg Seroquel XR, 60mg Mirtazapine. In the past: Lustal, Lorivan, Clonazepam & more I don't have documentation of. As of today, I take 100*2mg Lamictal, 400mg Seroquel XR and 45mg Mirtazapine. I am interested in lowering all of those, currently very interested in lowering Seroquel... I was never psychotic or manic. I was given Seroquel, Clotiapine and Promethazine because I was agitated and would self harm constantly. These medications did not change my situation; ECT improved my situation for a month, than went away. Therapy in last year helped a lot. -- My withdrawal history: - Prozac: 20mg (1y) -> 30mg (short) -> 60mg (1y) -> 30mg (1d) -> 0. Side effects: Unknown. Withdrawal: I had no adverse reaction at all, the day I lowered to 30mg I was given Remeron and started having tics. - Clotiapine: 10*3mg (?m) -> 20*3 (4d) -> 20*2 (6m) -> 20mg (2w) -> 0. Side effects: sleepiness (on 20*3). Withdrawal: No symptoms, more energy. - Promethazine: 25mg (6m) -> 0. Side effects: helped with allergies. Withdrawal: no symptoms, allergies still way better than before Promethazine😉 - Lamotrigine: 100mg (?) -> 100*2mg (3m) -> tampering to 0 in 2-3 weeks -> 100*mg (1.6y) Side effects: dry mouth. Withdrawal: Can not recall due to ECT treatment. I believe there were none but not 100% sure. - Mirtazapine: 45mg (1d) -> 60mg (10m) -> 45 (1m). Side effects: 60mg: tics (2h after administration, went away by next morning), sleepiness. The first day I was given Remeron I had tics and couldn't sleep, until I was given a sedative. Became better in the next week. 45mg: sleepiness. Withdrawal: Went from 60mg to 45mg in 1 day. Immediately stopped getting tics, sleep about 1.5h less than on 60mg (7.5h/night now). - Seroquel/Seroquel XR: 20mg (?) - 200mgXR + 20mg (?) -> 300mgXR (2y) -> 400mgXR (2y). Side effects: major weight gain, sleepiness. Withdrawal: not exactly withdrawal, but when I skip a night I have insomnia (2-3h sleep max), and when I skipped two doses - next day was almost normal (5-6h) with no side effects. Slightly sensitive/agitated on day 1 (lack of sleep?). I stopped taking Promethazine and Clotiapine in October-December 2019, Mirtazapine 60->45mg - since March 2020. These are the ones I can remember. I was given other medication before but I can not recall anything. -- My current situation is, my Psychiatrist refuses to let me try and reduce Seroquel XR because of COVID situation. I take XR is cutting it myself is not an option. Don't know what to do, I want to stop taking it, more time = worse withdrawal. I stopped taking 60mg Prozac with no issues (SERT, NET inhibition), Entumine (can not find mechanism of action), Promethazine (D2 and H1). I never had any issues with using brand VS generic. -- I interchangeably use: Lamictal & Lamotrigine; Clotiapine & Entumin/Etumin; Mirtazapine & Remeron.
  24. Hi there, I'm new to this site but need help! Have had 15 years of AD use, which include a couple of changes due to 'poop outs'. My last change was 9 weeks ago when the 15mg paroxetine that I'd been on for 7 years pooped out. Ended up under crisis team and physchiatrist switched me to 15mg Mirtazapine (straight switch from one day to the next). I had done a similar switch back in 2007 when my lexapro pooped out (tapered down over 2 weeks then switched straight over to the paroxetine). Over the last 6 weeks on Mirtazapine, the physchiatrist titrated me up to 45mg as I was in a bad state. 45mg WAY too high for me and caused akathisia, so he dropped me back to 30mg (after 3 weeks on 45mg). Akathisia better, but still lingering, so he wants to drop me down to 22.5mg. What do I do... I need this akathisia to stop ASAP, so a drawn out taper seems like far too long to wait! But I'm sure my body is in crisis from the med switch and titrating up then quick drop back down. Also used benzos over 4 weeks during switch, and titrated off them. Am I better to put up with the akathisia and do a slow taper? He thinks that drop percentage is fine (25%), but after reading this site combined with the weird experiences I'm having I'm too scared (so I'll need to enlist the help of a chemical compounding pharmacy) . Am I better to do that drop (25%) to stop the akathisia quickly, or just let my body settle down? Do 10% in another 2 weeks time (so that will be 4 weeks after my drop from 45mg to 30mg). I don't know what to do... I have been under the care of the crisis team and been going along with the plan, but can't help but feel these side effects are worse than having no treatment! I'm only 43 with a beautiful husband and son, but I'm scared that I've screwed my poor body up for life. I need advice, and stories of hope (and of easy withdrawls, not just horror stories, to give me hope). P. S Could my akathisia actually be paroxetine withdrawls even though I went straight onto another med?
  25. Muddles

    Muddles: desperate

    Hi there! Need a bit of advice. My father passed away Christmas Eve :-( I have been on mirtazapine 15mg for 4 years. Since my father passed I have been experiencing a lot of strange & worrying stuff which I can only explain as withdrawal symptoms from mirtazapine. Depression - severe, insomnia, mind chatter, body buzzing, twitches, jerks of legs/arms, panick attack, anxiety etc. I went to see my doctor as my friends and family are concerned. She wants me to up my dose but am not sure i should do it. Could it make things worse? I feel upping may cause more problems. I felt sooo depressed this morning and slowly withdrawing from everybody...scared! Thanks in advance.
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