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  1. MRothbard

    MRothbard: intro

    Hi Everyone, I've been on and off these drugs for about 7 years. I had almost quit them for good when after taking steroids for an ear infection anxiety returned with a vengeance. This was september 2014. I cut my Lexaprop dose in half about a month ago and seem to be doing fine with it.I'm now taking 10mg of Lexapro and 30mg of Mirtazipine. About a month ago I was feeling sleepy and unmotivated all the time and started drinking coffee again, and then alcohol in the evening. I also thought I could handle cutting the Mirtazipine in half too. Nope. Anxiety and intrusive thoughts big time. ​I've since gone back to my 30 mg dose or Mirt. Quit coffee and alcohol altogether. Eventually I'd like to be off these things but now is probably not the time to start tapering. I'd like to be more stable first. I'm on this forum to get advice on how to do that when the time comes and also to help however I can. Thank you.
  2. BuddhaMama

    BuddhaMama: Intro

    Hello everyone, I am a longtime lurker, only first posting now as I get ready to begin my taper from Remeron (Mirtazipine). I am seeking support here for my taper as I cannot count on support from my doctors. My husband is minimal support as he has his own mental health issues and we have a new baby. I'm ready to come off the Remeron mostly because I don't want to be on it forever and I feel like it got me through the hump of the early postpartum period, which was what I needed. I have gained 15-20lb on this med which is annoying because I am not one to gain weight normally, so I know it's the drug. I lost all the baby weight within the first month after I delivered and didn't start Remeron until month 2. I feel tired all the time (though it does help me sleep as i take it at night), and it makes me crave sugar and carbs like crazy. I'm also now starting to experience bodyside joint pain, which I've never had before. That seems to go away somewhat when i eliminate wheat from my diet. I have gotten my doctor to order me a solution of mirtazipine from compounding pharmacy, but after paying $54 fir an Rx that I usually get for free, I think I will try making my own solution using the tablets and the Oraplus I read about in the forums here. I'm nervous to begin my taper because the first time I tried at the beginning of December I went down by a 1/4 tablet for a week and every day I had excruciating headaches. BY the end of that week I was experiencing nausea and anxiety. AS SOON as I reinstated my full dose, all symptoms disappeared. I have a feeling I'll need to begin my taper at 5% rather than 10% given how sensitive I am. I would love to hear some encouraging success stories of coming of this drug slowly, as it seems it will take me long rot get off it that I was even on it to begin with. Other relevant info: I am 5 months post partum, have been on Remeron for 4 of those 5 months. I am married and have another child who is nearly 11 years old. I work part time and used to have regular exercise and meditation practices that have both fallen by the wayside with the new baby. I also can no longer tolerate alcohol. I've been off alcohol for several years (not because of AA or addiction issue, but because it makes me feel awful), and recently I thought I would try a half glass of wine with the holidays. Big mistake. Major depression and anxiety the next day. Good riddance.I'd much rather feel well and not drink at all. I think that's it for now!
  3. Moderator note: Link to benzo forum thread: summitbound: Poly-drugged: Thinking about tapering an AD w/ benzo Hello, I'm brand new to this site. I've been so busy learning about benzo tapering (and suffering!) on benzobuddies.org that I have yet to tackle getting off any of my antidepressants. I've already been tapering the benzo for over a year. I know that the general rule is to taper off your benzos first, and then work on your antidepressants. That said, I probably have a year or more left on my benzo taper and I hate being poly drugged with three antidepressants. I'd like to safely chip away at at least one of them. I think the mirtazipine is really helping with my sleep during bezno withdrawal, so I don't think I want to touch it. It seems like the low hanging fruit would be the lithium, since it seems I'm on a less than theraputic dose at 675 mg. Thoughts? So far, I have been "blessed" during my benzo taper in that I have not suffered from depression, severe anxiety, or panic. So I do want to tread carefully. Thanks so much!
  4. Bigmant64


    Hi there nead help, I'm male 54years old was on vensir (venlafaxine) 150mg until the end of December 2017,total of 10years ,Dr told me come off over 2 weeks but I did it over 2 months November -December which now I know was way too fast. January 2018was a toughish month, February March April were good felt like my old self, then come May started have windows and waves more so waves nearer end of month. June came so did the anxiety and depression worse than ever so I ended up being admitted into hospital on the 11th June . They started me back on vensir 37.5mg and after 5 hours of taking it I started burn up and lots panick attacks, they told me stick at it would pass things be OK, now adding in 5mg diazepam 3 times a day.After 4 days on 37.5mg vensir I refuse to take it so then I'm put on 15 mg of mirtazipine then after 1 week up to 30mg,the whole time I'm still having symptoms but they keep telling me to take it, takes 4_6 weeks to work omg. After 3 weeks I'm released home under care of psychiatrist taking 30mg of mirtazipine at night and 4mg of diazepamx2 day , zolpidem 10mg.After 2 weeks I had to arrange an appointment see the psychiatrist I'm feeling worse he then decided to add in brintillex with mirtazipine and 3 days later I'm feeling really ill, suicidal thoughts everything, I went to Dr was admitted again into Hospital.This time the mirtazipine is upped to 45mg and brintillex is discontinued ,stayed on 45 mg of mirtazipine until the 9th of Aug, no good days on this so psychiatrist decided to drop to 30mg and add 50 mg of zoloft,stuck this for 3 days felt really sick lots bad thoughts panic attacks, I refused to take the zoloft,next thing psychiatrist sent for me and decided to add 25mg quitiapine,I took this for a week and refused no more, so was left on 30 mg of mirtazipine 4mg diazepamx 2 a day and zolpidem for sleep. Released home on 3Rd of September under care of community mental health home team. Now on 15 mg of mirtazipine, near end of September was put on 25mg amitriptyline and mirtazipine was just dropped.After 4 weeks on amitriptyline couldn't take it any more just feeling unwell all time,amitryptiline dropped .Next thing psychiatrist gives 70 mg lofepramine (brand names: Gamanil, Lomont, and Tymelyt), I took it until 12th November another 4weeks , feeling really ill no sleep,go back see psychiatrist he wants me to change again to Reboxetine or lyrica,I refused told him I want no more. That's my medical history to date, cut a long story short I've been off antidepressants now 23days and do I feel really unwell, yes,sickness nausea is unreal can't eat much, I have 43 of withdrawal symptoms on Dr Glenmullans list,the body sensations I'm experiencing are unreal,hot cold,akathesia,ibs and my diverticulitis off the scale, anxiety and depression,it's all too much,ive been taking 6 mg diazepam every evening at 7pm,sometimes it help but last week I've been taking5mg after I take it I feel more unwell, at bedtime still taking zolpidem,sleep 3_4 hours Every day now I'm getting worse my energy levels are nearly zero can't walk very far, love the outdoors I'm feeling soon i won't be able leave the house.Every morning now I don't want get out of bed but start feel sick can't ly in bed, im very much fatigue very hard to relax just don't know what to do,I feel like I'm poisoned last 6months. Any help greatly appreciated I'm in a very dark place right now. Wish I had found this site few months ago, the medical profession havnt a clue what they're doing.
  5. I've been taking Remeron PRN for the past 2 years to help me sleep, very small doses, half a 7.5mb pill. Just enough to help me sleep. Probably once a week at most, except when travelling. Well a couple weeks ago I took it 4 days in a row when travelling, and then over the past few weeks noticed restless legs. The research online seems to say it can 1) cause RLS, 2) withdrawal can cause RLS, 3) it can help RLS. But evidence for each of these scenarios in actual research tests have been very limited so they aren't sure. So just curious if anyone else had this happen? When I take it now, it seems to help RLS immediately that night, but then flare up the night after. Is it even possible to have withdrawal from such a small infrequent doses? I've heard Remeron withdrawal is crazy, even worse than benzos which I came off of 2 years ago and that was horrible, so really hesitant to normalize taking it, but can't deny it help my mood and sleep, though I've already noticed a slight tolerance, I don't get as much sleep as I used to when I just started it.
  6. So when I went to pick up my first batch of liquid Mirtazipine, I asked the pharmacist who the manufacturer was because I am sensitive to the difference in manufacturers for the same drug. He proceeded to tell me that "industry standard" for all pharmaceuticals is somewhere between 10-20% ( I think thats what he said, I can't remember exactly) as far as actual drug concentration goes. So, the 45mg tablets he used to make my liquid suspension could have 10-20% more or less than 45mg each. I am so sensitive that now I wonder how I'll ever start my taper. I went from 15mg tablets of one manufacturer taken for the last 5 months to doubling up on 7.5mg tablets of a new manufacturer (Aurobindo) so that I could slowly adjust to that "brand" before moving to the liquid suspension because the liquid was made from Aurobindo tablets at a compounding pharmacy. I just so happened to have these 7.5mg Aurobindo tabs left over from before I upped my dose, otherwise I would have just gone straight to the liquid and dealt with the adjustment. Anyway, I have been on the new manufacturer for over a week and have been getting on and off intense headaches (my main WD symptom from an earlier taper trial of 25% cuts) and I don't understand why. Could it be that the concentration of these tablets is so different from what I was using that maybe they are causing WD symptoms even though I have't begun to cut my dose? I have 15 days worth left on the Aurobindo (now in a new Rx of 15mg tabs) and then I move to the liquid. I just don't know what's causing these headaches but I am inclined to believe they are withdrawal because they do not respond to ANY of my usual remedies. Any ideas?? Thanks in advance. Also, please let me know if I need to move this post to a different forum page.
  7. Ok so I've been on Mirtazapine for almost two months. I had some side effects the first week but then it was fine. The past 3 weeks however I have been having a huge host of side effects, some of which are debilitating like really bad vertigo, extreme disorientation, derealization, depersonalization, short term memory loss and completely blanking out for periods of time (I only know this because I'll look at the time and continue doing something then all of a sudden I'll get this weird feeling like I just awoke from a sleepless dream. I'll look at the time and like an hour or so will have passed) and diminished sense of time (i.e minutes feels like hours or hours only feels like a few minutes. Today 10 hours passed by in the blink of the eye and I can barely remember the day). Some days are better than others but some are really bad. I've missed two weeks of work (I've tried going back multiple times but couldn't get through even 10 minutes. Movement and bright lights makes the vertigo worse) The worst of it has been the past 5 days non-stop. I've been to the ER three times and to the doctors (including a second doctor) and they all chalk it up to 'panic attacks' or simply say "I don't know" yet not one of them has recommended stopping Mirtazapine... (Scratching my head at this) I literally feel like I'm stoned out of my mind. The only other time I have felt even remotely like this was when I tried a pot brownie (bad idea). My vision had diminished severely and I feel like I have nerve damage. I have almost no sense of taste or touch. Pain tolerance is way higher. But they refuse to believe it's not mental so I've decided I have to come off Mirtazapine as I don't know what else could be causing this. So I've read all of the guides and I'm sorry... it's probably my decreased mental states (I'm having serious trouble retaining information) but I'm totally confused as to how to do it. I'm on 15mg quick dissolve tabs. Thanks.
  8. This is how antidepressants have turned my entire life upside down in the small space of 8 months I fell pregnant with my daughter who is now 15 mnths old. I immediately became depressed showing nearly all signs of depression and was advised by my doctor to go on antidepressants whilst pregnant or I could end up with postnatal depression. I refused as I didn't want any harm to come to my unborn child from any side affects. So I muddled on, then surely enough after a traumatic unplanned caesarean I could not bond with my daughter and was really struggling to just to do the simplest tasks, plus many other symptoms of postnatal depression. 8 months after the birth of my daughter I knew I just couldn't go any further I needed medication. I hated the stigma attached but just couldn't do it any other way. I was put on 50mg sertraline and I felt the effects immediately and thought this was the best thing ever! Woohoo! A few weeks later I was sat in my kitchen and remember having vivid suicidal thoughts about hanging myself, I was not of low mood at all but none the less these thoughts were there I remember having a kind of itching sensation around my neck and the only way I thought I could get rid of the itching was to get the rope put it around my neck and hang myself. HOLY ****! I totally realised what I was thinking and panicked I telephoned my partner and explained what had happened and that I totally understand now how someone could commit suicide, it felt like it was my calling. So, my partner and I did some research on antidepressants which confirmed our suspicions, so I decided to taper off the Sertraline, which I did over a month or so, just lowering the dose slightly each week. Soon after depression hit again. It wasn't all the time but when it hit I was out for a couple of days, bed ridden and just wanted no contact with anyone. I was looking after the kids and my partner worked full time, so as you can imagine this really messed with our lives. My partner was constantly taking time off work, it just wasn't good. I sought help from a hypnotherapist/behavioural therapist rather than go back to the doc because I knew he’d just hand me another prescription and I thought I’d rather be depressed than have suicidal thoughts. Doing this worked in the short term, but I just couldn't kick the depression. So losing all hope and seeing no alternative I went back to the doc and back on the pills. 30mg Paroxetine again and as with the previous medication it worked immediately! Woohoo! Then 2 months down the line I started to feel really weird, foggy in the head, terrible concentration, totally unable to problem solve, multitask or even remember the simplest things. So I went to the doc and explained that I think I am having side effects from the medication and I need some help as I feel like my brain is starting to shut down. He disagreed with me saying it didn't sound like a side effect, upped my dose and sent me to counselling. Two weeks after the dosage was upped the suicidal thoughts crept in and I just decided to end my life that night by taking an overdose of the remaining Paroxetine tablets. I was then hospitalised in a psychiatric ward where the psychiatrist diagnosed me with Bipolar type 2 and agreed that considering my pervious history that the doc should not have upped my meds and they were a direct cause of the suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide. So thanks to the well informed Doc’s prescribing this stuff willy nilly, I could have killed myself twice! Anyway, I stayed in hospital whilst they immediately took me off the Paroxetine and put me on mirtazapine 30mg and Seroquel 50mg. low and behold a few weeks later I am having Bipolar symptoms off the chart. My husband even disputes the Bipolar diagnosis because he says I have shown no previous signs of bi polar UNTIL I was put on the Seroquel and Mirtazipine. In all seriousness my brain is seriously messed up, I absolutely have no idea who I am anymore, I am doing this and conducting myself weirdly in situations that just wouldn’t normally go down. Sorry to be graphic but I just want sex all the time. I constantly feel high, but agitated if I cant do what I want. I feel like I cant stop, The relationship with my small children, I feel is horrible. Pervious to this I was an excellent mum, loving caring, patient. Now I have no patience and rarely want to be around them because I don’t feel a bond and I hate to say it but their voices are like a drilling in my brain. I am just no good for them right now. I hate myself for it, hate who I have become and want me back. I have had no low moods yet, like hopelessness or whatnot, just serious agitation and all the negatives that come with that. I said to my partner I feel like a squashball in a squash court being smacked about the place at high speed with little to no control over where I go and what I do, there’s an errie driving force called Mirtazipine and I want it gone. Saw a psychiatrist a couple of weeks ago who said get of the Seroquel it is really bad stuff. If im not having problems sleeping, which I’m not then ditch it, so I did that immediately with only gastro side effects I think. I cannot remember what normal me feels like any more, I may be having side effects or it could be the quick withdrawal from Paroxatine, who knows. So again off I trot to the doc ( I get a good doc this time Very thorough) and she agrees the medication is making my bipolar 2 worse and we have now made a plan to come off it altogether. Although the original depression may come back L - full circle with no accomplishment only shear devastation.
  9. I have been on these drugs for almost two years now. I didn't know how dangerous they were until tried getting off of Klonopin. I had to get back on until I restabilized. Which was recently. Ion plan on getting off Klonopin and remeron, but I've been advised to do Klonopin first.
  10. Greetings Everyone Hoping that everyone is faring well on their respective tapers. I am currently tapering a Benzodiazepine (Valium) and have managed to come down from a whopping 30mgs to 8mgs in 9 months. I am going really well in the lower numbers, however, I have a major problem with weight gain from Avanza (Remeron/Mirtazipine). Over the last 9 months I have been steadily gaining weight, despite maintaining a pretty decent exercise regime. Sadly it has come to the point where I have gained a massive and unbelievable 40kgs in total. The sugar and carbohydrate cravings are absolutely brutal and relentless. In retrospect I have been 'carb loading' as I have found that the benefits of carbs in general have assisted with the benzo taper, in that they bathe the brain in that lovely hormone 'serotonin'. Previously, in a detox setting, I dropped from 60mgs of Avanza to 30mgs overnight with not too much drama, a couple of nights of heart palps and being uncomfortable. I guess I was lucky in that I was only on the 60mgs for 7 days (prior to that I had been at 30mgs for 4 months or so). I have arrived at this site seeking advice on where to go next? I am desperate to remove the Avanza, but do not really want to cease the benzo taper as I have worked incredibly hard to get down to where I am today. I also developed tolerance very quickly when originally placed on benzos without any patient disclosure. Therefore, I feel compelled to forge ahead. I know that it is considered very unwise to taper two drugs at once, but really, very seriously need to address the Avanza issue due to the horrific weight gain. Basically, I am wondering if I could perhaps shave off 1/4 of my dose, by going from 30mgs down to 22.5mgs, staying there for 6 weeks and seeing how things go? I am really perplexed as there seems to be two very different and opposing schools of thought in this battlefield. Many say taper the a/d first, then the benzos. Likewise others say that an a/d cushions the blow when coming off benzos? Wondering if anyone has successfully managed to slowly (incrementally) taper their a/d while doing a sensible benzo taper at the same time? I was thinking of the following withdrawal regime, based on the fact that I managed to half my dose of Avanza previously without too much discomfort. 30mgs down to 22.5mgs - hold 6 weeks (continue benzo taper) 22.5mgs down to 15mgs - hold 6 weeks (continue benzo taper) 15mgs down to 7.5 mgs - hold 6 weeks (continue benzo taper) 7.5mgs for 3 weeks stop. (Complete benzo taper) I have not taken any other a/d prior to the Avanza, other than 3 days of Zoloft (boy that one did not agree with me at all). I have recently seen a prominent Addictionologist who has informed me that I should be able to immediately go to 15mgs, hold for 2 weeks and then off!!!! (Some big red flags there). Any information or advice greatly welcomed. I wish you enough....... EagleWolf
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