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  1. Last August I couldn’t sleep without Xanax. I would wait sometimes until 6/7am to try and avoid the benzo. I quickly realized a problem was occurring becoming reliant on Xanax and instead of working through it, I cold turkey’ed both the maoi I’ve been on for years (Nardil) and the Xanax....biggest mistake of my life. I suffered for months with a laundry list of crazy side effects, but I was determined to “muscle through it.” Things have only gotten worse. I noticed in the fall I was sensitive to alcohol and 1 drink would throw me off for days. A few weeks ago desperate to feel better, I took Sam-E, a lot of CBD oil, and tablet of Nardil, and quickly flipped into a hypertensive crisis (likely from serotonin syndrome) in the ER with my heartrate at 140. Not good. Things escalated from there; I tried to reinstate on the Xanax occasional use, which only made things worse. Hours after each dose, I seemed to go right back into acute withdrawal; each exposure to the Xanax was more painful and crazy, including hallucinating, delirium tantrums, severe akisthesia, hypertension and unrelenting panic and anxiety. For days. Multiple ER visits and doctor appointments resulted in more benzos, making everything worse. Realizing my CNS has been kindled (subsequent withdrawals being worse and increasingly dangerous), I have since stopped the Xanax and all supplements. The acute episodes have subsided and now I’m just very shaken and confused. I’m not really working or functioning at the moment, mostly bedridden. I haven’t slept in weeks (most nights just 1-2 hours max). I feel like my life is in free fall. I seem sensitive to everything; one supplement now throws me completely off. Sugar and gluten are also major triggers. My game plan for the moment is to give my body a little time to chill. No pills, just food and water. My hope is to try to reinstate on the Nardil at a tiny dose, but I’m petrified it won’t work given how sensitive my system now is. I’ve also thought about gabapentin, given I tolerated it well before. A doctor I saw recommended lamictal. Reinstating on any benzo is clearly off the table given the paradoxical reactions I’ve had. Should I try a low dose of the Nardil or is my system kindled and now will not tolerate any of it? Should I just try something new like lamictal or gabapentin to calm things down? I need some freakin’ relief / normalcy. This is insanity. I don’t care about being off meds, I just want my life back and happy to slowly taper from there. I feel desperate. I also am trying to manage all of these big different changes going on in my personal life, it is extremely difficult to do this during withdrawal. I appreciate any ideas and input. Thx you!
  2. My name is Chris. Long time lurker, first time poster.. I am currently tapering off of Nardil after 3 years of use. This may make my story a bit unique as it is an old MAOI antidepressant which is not used very often these days. However, my path to Nardil was littered with various SSRI's, Tricyclics, and other psych meds. As rare as MAOIs are, I was still hoping to find some guidance or experiences related to MAOI withdrawal. I'm bummed how little information is here or anywhere on the internet. I attempted to taper off of Nardli last summer going from 45mg to 0mg in about 3 months. I felt this was a slow enough taper considering it was much slower than the nonsensical tapering schedules most doc's suggest. However, compared to the 10% taper suggested here it was pretty quick. I made it about 2 months before going back on Nardil when I started having panic attacks on a regular basis. Back in April, after being completely fed up with the Nardil side effects, I decided to try again. My original plan was to taper off the Nardil and back on to a newer class AD. Although I never really liked the SSRIs/SNRsI, their favorable side effect profiles vs the MAOIs was tempting. However, in the last month or so I have decided that I want to make another run at getting off these meds for good. This time around my taper has been even faster than the last attempt. The only reason for this is because my plan was to get off the Nardil and onto something different. I have gone from 45mg to 5mg in just over 2 months. Things were going alright until the last couple of weeks. My moods have been all over the place. I'll be feeling pretty good for a few hours, and then I'll be super depressed and anxious, verging on panic attacks. That brings us to today... I have decided to reinstate my Nardil at a higher dose and then follow the 10% formula here every 2-4 weeks. I am going to bump up to 1 pill a day (15mg) and see how I feel. If I'm still struggling I will go up some more until I feel stable and then start the 10% taper plan. I am fortunate enough to have a Psychiatrist who is both honest and aware of the major problems with the psychiatric/pharmaceutical industry. She's no expert on AD withdrawal, but shes very wiling to work with me as I go through this. I also have been sober from drugs/alcohol for 8 years and am very involved in the recovery community. This community will be an invaluable support group during this journey. I look forward to meeting you all and am greatly appreciative of any suggestions or guidance you can give! Note: I am also on Gabapentin 1000mg a day. This is a whole other nightmare. I was originally given it as a "safe" anxiety medication when I first got sober 8 years ago. I have become completely dependent on it and have to take it 3x a day or will start having withdrawals within a couple hours of missing my dose. Like most of these meds, it can be extremely difficult to stop and has it's own miserable withdrawal symptoms. I dream to one day be free from it, but I can only work on one thing at a time.
  3. Hello, My name is Cathy and I live in Minnesota. I have a long history of depression, numerous meds, ECT, a study for VNS, a study for genotypes, etc. Typically I would get into more detail but it hurts too much to type. I started Nardil about 7-8 weeks ago and was on a steady 60 mg. dose for at least five weeks. Early on I started developing "carpal tunnel" type symptoms. I had done a short MAO trial in the late 80s and remembered when I was on one, I had almost had carpal tunnel surgery. I went off the MAO for other reasons and the symptoms all went away, prior to surgery fortunately. I later learned that Nardil depletes B6. When my symptoms started this time, I began adding in B6. I was not sleeping well, often up til 4 or 5 am unless I took Trazadone, in which case I would sleep until 4 or 5 pm. About two weeks ago, I started getting more fidgety, restless legs, etc (the insomnia was different from what I typically have--if I can't sleep it is usually because my brain will not shut off. This insomnia was as if my body did not want to go to sleep--tossing, turning, etc. My back and neck started becoming tighter too--I am a typical type A, first born, Taurus, former lawyer--so they are usually tight to begin with. This was worse. With insomnia, restlessness, etc. I stayed up and did a lot of housework, cleaning the basement, cleaning the garage, etc. Somewhere along the way, my shoulders, neck, arms, and hands developed excruciating pain. The hands were typical neuropathy symptoms. I could not drive or type. I used heat, ice, lots of Ibuprofen, Naproxen, Tylenol, and even some old celebrex. I did gentle stretches. I had chiropractic. Nothing helped. I went to urgent care and was given muscle relaxers (one that was safe with an MAO) and a referral to physical therapy. Those did not help either. All in all, I think the symptoms were due to pyridoxine depletion (my nerves were probably more prone to damage--recovered alcoholic who had footdrop--although the college incident makes me wonder if I am just low on B6 to start with), a lack of sleep (thus no healing), and the added movements and tension. I am still experiencing the neck and hand pain. It is a little better now, thus the typing. However, in the last few days, it has been to the point where I can't even move my fingers. I am now going off Nardil. I feel more depressed, angry, irritated, jumpy, fidgety, extremely restless, tired but not sleepy, and in general, bad all over. I am not sure when the use symptoms overlap with the withdrawal symptoms. Typically I do not have much for withdrawal symptoms, but this sucks. I did read the advice--keep it simple and stable and taper slowly. Right now I am about one step away from checking in to the hospital--but it is the weekend and the holiday on Monday. Plus once I get there, I will have wished I stayed home. Just looking for support and understanding. My fiancee (provided our relationship makes it thru this) does not really get depression or meds. He tries, but his understanding of it is limited. Thank you, Cathy
  4. I am 66 yrs old. I had TMS treatments Dec 2015 due to an upcoming elective knee surgery and the hospital/anathesiologist would not do the surgery while on Nardil due to possible drug interactions. After 35 TMS treatments I started tapering following my doctor's taper schedule of reducing 1/2 pill (7.5 mg) every 5-7 days. I stopped it Feb 10, 2016. My long term dose was alternating 30mg w 37.5 mg every other day. According to this site I tapered way too quickly but my psychiatrist says the taper was not rushed. It's been an ordeal. I did not know that I would experience all of these side effects of stopping this med. I had been on it for 27 years bc trying SSRIs and Tricyclic meds made me much worse and the Nardil treated my panic and depression in a very effective smooth way! After a few months of starting them they blocked the panic and helped my depression . I hated the food restrictions and was always fearful of drug interactions i.e. due to emergencies, sudden illnesses, risks of ignorant or negligent medical care etc. After stopping Nardil the emotional roller coaster started!! Anxiety, depression, irritability, no motivation, even non stop runny nose the first few weeks! All of these moods come and go in 3-7 day cycles. My dr says my body's nervous system has to adjust to being w/o Nardil after 27 years. He says it will get better but could take a long time - even a year!! My life is totally unpredictable. Everyday is not terrible but more bad ones than good ones! I have no motivation at home, don't cook, etc. Just barely get laundry done and bills paid. My dr suggests me finding new activities/hobbies to get my mind off how I feel but it's hard to find new things when I'm not motivated. He says to learn how to not be depressed but how can I do that on days I'm depressed?? My knee got better and did not have to have the surgery so now I've gone thru all of this for really no reason. I keep asking myself, "WHY AM I DOING THIS? WHY DO I WANT TO SPEND A YEAR OR MORE OF MY LIFE GOING THRU THIS? WHY DON'T I JUST THROW IN THE TOWEL AND GO BACK ON THE NARDIL??" HELP!! I thought the TMS would be an alternative treatment from the constant worry of food and drug fear of the Nardil but no one told me what going off the Nardil would be like. Thanks for listening. P.S. Seems like people who slow taper their AD still suffer with same results so why go back to med and then slow taper to start back over the same process? My goal was the tms would substitute for Nardil in treating depression but due to the withdrawal stuff I'm not sure it is worth it. Thanks again for any info or positive feedback. I just can't handle scary fearful events right now.
  5. Hello! Long time reader on here, and other anxiety forums, and thought I would take "the plunge" and post a quick introduction. Instead of staring at the wall and suffering in silence, I figured this is a healthier coping approach... Background: 29 year old gay man, healthy/active and generally outgoing by nature. Started suffering anxiety attacks, blushing/social anxiety, and insomnia in my early 20s in NYC which landed me in a physiatrist's office with an RX for Zoloft and Xanax. I then proceeded to go on the Med Merry Go round (paxil, lexapro, effexor, ambien, luvox, among others) and eventually - to cope with a new "important" corporate job - convinced a physician to prescribe me the MAOI Nardil, allegedly the gold standard for social anxiety. It all came crashing down last year when I woke up in the ER several mornings (after nights of uncharacteristic impulsive decision making, drinking and mixing), receiving a DUI, and eventually (under some duress) resigning from my job last May. At the time, I was living in San Francisco, and decided "f*ck it," I'm going to restart my life in Hawaii and pursue a career in Real Estate. I lasted a week in HI and was miserably homesick, lost, and anxious. I came home to Boston where I've since been doing consulting work remotely. I tried - again - to move to Hawaii in March of this year, and lasted 3 weeks, woke up one morning with a panic attack, and was on a plane that evening. Kelly Brogan's book "A Mind of Your Own" (MUST READ) has recently opened my eyes to the painful and bottomless pit that are antipsychotic meds and antidepressants. I pretty much ripped the bandaid off and stopped cold turkey from Nardil earlier this year, and then Clonapin & Risperdal a few weeks ago. Without a doubt, I am absolutely miserable; I can't focus, have horrible mood swings, irritable, hopeless, indecisive, and depressed. I really do not want to reinstate on meds. I'm taking St. John's Wort herb and considering adding Gaba to try and cope. I do have bright spots in the day, but then quickly revert back to feeling miserable and lost. I workout regularly and eat healthy, which definitely helps. Oh - also - because I like to make the same mistake OVER AND OVER again (sarcasm intended), I committed to an apt in Honolulu on June 1st when I was feeling good a few weeks ago. Today, I was suppose to fly back to SF and stay with a friend and I was too anxious to make the flight. Right now I'm totally lost, oscillating between "Stay safe at home in MA" AND "Go back to HI and 'push through' the anxiety." I am worried about myself and feel unrecognizable to my (normally) ambitious, outgoing, entrepreneurial and adventurous self; my anxiety and depression is undercutting my confidence. I am exhausted and frustrated. I want to create a new life for myself and move on in HI, but at the same time, want to keep myself safe and sane. I can absolutely make a life for myself here @ home, but struggling to commit to anything at this point. Appreciate any kind words, thoughts or feedback. And thanks very much for reading.
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