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  1. Hi all, thank so much for this forum. Here is my introduction. Since I was 16 years old I was put on Fluoxetin in a clinic, after a crysis and traumatic experiences. Clinic helped me a lot, but probably not because the medication. I tried to get off it when I was 19 years old because I felt more stable. I made a CT with Fluoxetin. I started to get panic attacs in certain situation (thought its because I stopped Medication). So I went to the doctor and he gave me Citalopram. First weeks of this drug were very difficult and horrorfiying. Lots of anxiety even with mild paranoia. After a few weeks I got better. On this Med it was the first time I had to fight with fatique. Moreover I had because of CT of Fluoxeitn or Citalopram agressions and moreover a lot of anxiety that drove me crazy in certain situations. This symptoms was always worst in the morning and earlier hours, especially the fatique. I moved into a new town to study. I just tried to accept this fatique, thought it was a kind of normal or blamed myself for it (go earlier to bed, get a regulary bed and wake-up time etc.) or thought it was something psychologically. Also had a lot of anxiety. Dont know if it was influenced by medication. Somehow I managed to get a Bachelor degree. I was also prescriped with Opipramol in that period and had a CT from it. At some point I thought this fatique can not be normal - to be always tired like that. I went to a doctor made a blood test. Doctor said its is psychologically. I went to a Psychatrist and told him I am always tired and want to try another medications. I asked for Fluoxetin, because I had less fatique on that one. He gave me that and I had a CT with Citalopram and took Fluoxetin. In that time I went abroad to work for a few month. I had terrible fatique and anxiety, shocks and twiches in my head and body when I was drinking coffee with my colleauges while putting the cup to my mouth. It was really uncomfortable. On some days horrible depressions with suiciadal thoughts. I was quieter than I used to be and mostly very depresssed. Somehow i knew it could be connected to Fluoxetin but did not thought of WD of Citalopram. When I come back to my country after a few months. I told doctor about this fatique and some symptoms and CT from Fluoxetin again and was prescribed with Paroxetin. I was very depressed, full of anxiety, desperated and fatique and suppossed to find my first full time job. Somehow I managed it and I was getting better. After a year on some point I was really ok. However, the fatique become worse and worse - from year to year. Again a blood test and even a test for sleep apnea in labour showed no result. Again I was told it is psychologically. I thought i could be connected to Paroxetin. One Doctor in sleep labour even agreed. I decided to get off it. I made a lot of research on the Internet, I understand I had to taper it slowly. But since the fatique was probably a side effect I decided to go more quickly and tapered in 6 Months from 10 mg to 0 (since May 2019 0mg). There was specially a lot of fatique (like always) later also more anxiety. First week after 0 mg was very good. Later I become worse and worse. Especially the anxiety. Sometimes the anxiey, sometimes the fatique is more on the foreground. I just feel like I want to rest and relax more. I have to work which is biggest challenges with this symptoms and also triggers a lot. I also started are Psychotherapy. She believes me that my state is coming from stopping AD and accept my decision not take them anymore. Fatique and anxiety are by far the most difficult symptoms. Moreover I have: - Problems with my eyes, especially with light - Back pain and tensions - Depressions with suicidal thoughts (think its caused by the other symptoms) - have to be very carefully with exercises (hobby) and all other activities cause it can trigger symptoms - weather changes trigger symptoms. Freezing a lot. - Situation that normally just makes me a bit nervousness, now gives me almost panic attacs I am taking omega 3 fish oil and sometimes zinc. Dont know if it has an effect. Tried in the last months these supplements: 5-htp, L-Tryptophan, Ashwagandha, Rhodiola rosea, Magnesium It could have triggered symptoms, so I stopped all of them. I am going to give Ginseng a chance (I know I have to be careful). It is incredible hard to get up in the morning and feel so fatique and tired, sometimes it is even hard to breath and every action needs so much energy (e.g. taking shoes on). I am sleeping very well. I just feel like i need much more sleep (I cannot get earlier too bed) and rest at the moment. In the evening I get better. Sometimes there are very clear and good moments in the evening, which give me hope. I really hope it gets a bit better in the next 6 months when I am one year off meds. I am thankful for every tip, hint, similiar experience and hope.
  2. I have been trying to get off of paroxetine since spring of 1998. Started paroxetine when I was 32, 10 mg, dropped back to 7.5 mg within that first month. Paroxetine made me very sleepy, at first, so I had to take it at night, otherwise, I couldn't drive safely. A brief nap usually fixed it. Paroxetine really helped with depression. Number of depressive episodes since 1995: just 5 in 24 years. Three when trying to taper. Age 35, tried tapering too fast to 5 mg (33% decrease), got irritable, partner said I should go back up to regular dose, so I did. Age 36, breakup with partner. Sad and grieving, but not depressed. Age 37, work stress led to severe insomnia. Tried Ambien, made me hallucinate. Tried valerian, got severely depressed. Had bad CBT (Cog Behav Therapy), got more depressed: "Even therapy won't fix me!" Felt hopeless, but not suicidal. Depression lasted about 2 months. Insomnia continued, so psychiatrist (who saw me for 15 minutes in a group med check appointment - ridiculous!) prescribed trazodone 50 mg. Instantly fixed insomnia problem. Age 41, moved to a new city where I didn't know anyone, got depressed again. No chg to meds. Saw a good therapist, depression resolved in 4 months - not as severe a depression. New relationship. Age 42, saw a new psychiatrist. Switched me from trazodone to mirtazapine. Still sleeping well, but mirtazapine gave me the most bizarre relationship to food. I constantly wanted to be chewing something, munching on something, shot up 15 pounds (I'm short, so this was a significant percentage of my body weight). I tried chewing gum to deal with this weird behavioral urge. The psychiatrist, who would see me for 20 minutes (individually at least!) for med checks every 3-4 weeks, would try to do psychoanalysis on me in the 10 minutes we had left after discussing meds. NOT helpful. Broke up with partner. Age 42, tried tapering off of paroxetine, back to 5mg (33% decrease), got depressed. After a month, went back up to 7.5 mg. Age 43, went back on trazodone, 62.5 mg. I don't remember a taper with switching between trazodone and mirtazapine, since they were chemically similar. Still sleeping well. New relationship, sill in that one. Ages 46-52, had good CBT, and learned how to manage thoughts and behaviors to prevent depression from getting severe or lasting too long. Ages 52-53, very slow gradual taper over 9 months from 7.5 mg to 2.5 mg paroxetine, kept trazodone at 62.5 mg. No depression! Brain shivers every time I dropped dose slightly, but those lasted only about a week. Age 53, OB-GYN put me on progesterone for perimenopausal symptoms. I was fetal-position, immobile depressed within a month. Stopped progesterone and went back up to 5 mg paroxetine. (Why, oh why, didn't I just wait and see if taking the progesterone away would have fixed things?) Still on 62.5 mg trazodone. Age 53 going on 54, moved back to MN, to where I knew lots of people, but also where winters are cold and dark and long. Got a severe infection, took Cipro, which cleared infection but destroyed gut microbiome. Just as the days were getting shorter and darker, and I was commuting to and from work in darkness. 2016 election happened, work supervisors were harsh and critical, had a cancer scare. Too much bad stuff at once, got the most depressed I'd been since my early 30's. I did not feel like myself. Unable to use CBT skills. Over one week, increased paroxetine to 7.5 mg, next week 10 mg. Within 3 days of taking the 10 mg dose, the black, horrible depression lifted. Still on 62.5 mg trazodone. But, this was also after winter solstice, do days were getting longer, and I also increased Vit D and got a sun lamp close to the same time. So was it the drugs or the season? Had 6 weeks of CBT for insomnia, realized I don't need trazodone to sleep. Why didn't anyone offer me this instead of drugs?! Realized true gender identity - maybe that's why progesterone made me depressed, I'm not female or male, even though my body was annoying me with menopause. Still on 62.5 mg trazodone - why mess with meds while sorting out gender? Age 54. Mild winter depression. Thought to myself, 10 mg of paroxetine and 62.5 mg trazodone isn't doing anything! Age 55. Moved back to the sunny state of CO. From Jan - July of this year (2019), slowly, slowly tapered from 10 mg to 7.5 mg paroxetine. No depression. Brain shivers every time I dropped a level, but those lasted only about a week. Spent 4-6 weeks at each level of dosage as I tapered. Still on 62.5 mg trazodone. Plan: Hold stable at current doses of paroxetine and trazodone through early Feb, when days start getting longer. Eat a non-inflammatory diet, start exercising more. Maybe try very slow taper back to 50 mg trazodone over winter, since I know how to sleep well without it. Then taper paroxetine. Then complete taper off trazodone. Be drug-free!
  3. Hello everyone, This is my ever first time writing in a forum , I decided to reach out because I am feeling a bit lost.... Excuse if my english is not at it's best as I'm not a native english speaker. I have tried to make my signature, which became far too long and I had to delete so many things that it felt to me that there were too many things missing, but as I am new to "this", I am hoping someone might help me. First things first I am going to write down all my history with anxiety and panic attacks, at least all I can remember, as I'm very forgetful lately. 2005- cypralex due to panic attacks and GAD (can’t remember dosage) gained 46 kgs 2006- August quit cypralex cold turkey no symptoms that I can remember 2007- January started exercising and diet to lose weight by December i had lost all 46 kgs 2011- Panic attacks and anxiety emerged after break up of a relationship that broke my heart. Psychiatrist put me on Paroxetine 40mg trazodone 50mg bromazepam 3mg x2 day hated trazodone and the way it gave me vivid nightmares so I’ve quit it after a while always with doctor supervision 2012- September quit my job, had gain almost 20 kgs, was super depressed still but no panic attacks nor anxiety. 2013- Moved back in with my ex , in march I started the tapering of paroxetine, extremely slowly, and by December 31 I was done. 2014- June massive relapse, anxiety, panic attacks, was living abroad and flew back home to see my psychiatrist, started Prozac 40mg because I had put on so much weight that was unable to lose, worse choice ever, prozac made me have even more panic attacks during my sleep..... Bromazepam 3mg and trazodone 50mg 2014 September 2nd - Another huge panic attack during my sleep, took me to the ER, where the psychiatrist there put me on xanax xr 0.5 3 times day October 28 2014 - Tried to reduce the xanax from 1,5 mg xr a day to 1 mg a day t but i got extremely sick nausea shaking and dizzy my doctor switched me to diazepam 20 mg a day, and also I gave up on Prozac and went back to paroxetine November 2014 - Had terrible shaking nausea headaches, I suspected it was from the xanax switching 2015 - Had 1 panic attack in June but was stable and still on paroxetine 2016 January - I decided that it was time for me to start reducing (tapering) the paroxetineI had moved to another country living happily but the weight that I had gained i could never get rid of, I went from 64kgs in 2011 to 100kgs. September 24 th - Found out I was pregnant and still tapering the paroxetine 2016 December - By the end of December I was done with the tapering and was done 1 year reducing. 2017 - Was totally fine 2018 - Totally fine 2019 June - Panic attack during my sleep, caught off guard, tought I was free from it... 2019 July - Anxiety rising so much I could not leave the house, could not enter any store, or supermarket I would start feeling like I was going to have a panic attack 2019 July 25th - Decided not to fly back to my homecountry to my psychiatrist and went to a psychiatrist here. Prescribed me amitriptyline 10 mgat night, plus gabapentin 100 mg 3 times day and xanax xr 0,5 2 times a day and xanax 0,25 IR in s.o.s 2019 August - I felt a bit less edgy, calmer but still couldn't leave the house alone nor enter supermarkets. I could walk outside IF I wasn't alone but I never felt safe alone and was always afraid of leaving the house. Gained weight 2019 October 2nd - Went to the doctor and the previous psychiatrist had been moved to another district. The new pychiatrist prescribed me Paroxetine 20mg, Lyrica 75 mg 2 times per day and diazepam 6 mg a day. Since end of July gained 6 kgs After my last appointment with the new psychiatrist , I start taking the meds on the 3rd of October, but I did nottake the 6 mg of valium he prescribed because I simply knew that it was too low of a dosage and I would have to keep on with the xanax at least a month til I feel that I was stable enough with the paroxetine to switch to a higher dose of diazepam. But when I mentioned to the doctor the 1mg of xanax xr i was taking a day switching me to 6mg of diazepam wasn't very smart not would it be helpful, he said replied to me saying that the lyrica would amplify the effect of diazepam... I was so upset.... truth is and on that very same day after taking Lyrica 75 mg, I start to feel itchy. I tought it was ok, and on the second day I was still itchy, so I decided to call the doctor to ask him and he told me that it couldn't be related nor an allergic reaction. I knew it wasn't the paroxetine because I had taken paxil before, and I knew it wasn't the xanax as well, so it could only be the lyrica. When I asked my doctor why was he putting me on lyrica his answer was that he could not just stop me the gabapentin, so he said he would switch me to a lower amount, and then reduce more and stop. The thing is, I am itchy every single day all the time, I have to use creams for eczema/atopic skin, and I am drinking 2 liters of water per day, no coffee, no alcohol, nothing with caffeine....... I feel like reducing the lyrica in half, from 150mg a day to 75mg, since I am taking it for not even 4 weeks, but I am afraid of how could it affect me. And about the Xanax, I am still taking the 0.5 xr twice a day but I want to switch to liquid diazepam which I have so I can reduce it and manage dosages better. I am taking the xanax since 25th of July, it's a good while, can any of you advise me? I have read the ashton manual, but I am still afraid. What about the lyrica making me itchy like a dog with fleas? Any help would be so appreciated.
  4. Abruptly stopped Paroxatine about 22 months ago now after been on for two years and still experiencing cog fog and memory issues. Considered re taking the medication and doing re search came across a site called RXISK and through the site I came in contact with a specialist called prof David Healey, he specialises in anti depressants and their issues and affects in people and has published various books ect. On the website they do an online consolation that all in costs £550+ and through mine I was informed that Ssri can do a certain amount of muscle damage and it's through this that the effects after withdrawal seem to last and the best thing is to become as fit and well as you can. Very short story but thought it important to post as some people arnt in a position to spend that amount if money.
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