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Hi, I will try to keep it brief, but I am in desperate need of advice. I am a 34YO Male, my 1st bout of anxiety happened 10 years ago when I experienced a very stressful time in my life. I had my 1st child, started MBA school, and opened my own business all within a 3 month span. Had a panic attack one night, and what followed was a year of high general anxiety, with some intrusive OCDish thoughts sprinkled in. After a year I decided I would give meds a try. Tried Buspar...did nothing except make me dizzy. Tried Zoloft, and this was the magic bullet for me. Felt my anxiety lesson (after a brief increase) after about 3-4 weeks and after a few months I was back to myself. During this time I would have blips (one to two week periods when my anxiety would resurface, usually requiring a dose tweak and then would go back to normal. These would usually happen when I was eating bad, not exercising ect). At the start of my Zoloft experience I at one point got up to 150mgs, but in the last 4-5 years was on the minimum dose of 50mgs after I got generally healthier and added a multivitamin and fish oil supplement. Because of these blips, and the fact I was afraid to go back to the year of anxiety, I stayed on the Zoloft probably longer than I should have. It was 8 years later (October 2016) when I finally said, "heck I don't need these anymore". My prescription ran out and I just decided not to refill it. I went through most of the withdrawl symptoms, some brain-zaps, lots of light-headedness and dizziness, ect. That went away after about 3 weeks and for 3 months I felt great, totally off meds and totally back to normal. At the end of January this year, I started to have another "blip." I wasn't eating healthy and not exercising as much and decided I would be "proactive" and resume the Zoloft at my previous dose of 50mgs to nip it in the bud. This sent my anxiety through the roof but thought my body would adjust so I continued taking them. I was so scared of the increased anxiety though I didn't give it a fair shot and kept increasing and decreasing the dosage from 25 to 50mgs every week or so. Finally got into a p-doc and he gave me Lexapro, 5mgs for the 1st week and 10mgs after that...long story short, it did the same thing as the Zoloft and wasn't much better after 7 weeks. At this point I figured, "wow I wasn't this bad before, I will just go off of these!" Well unfortunately my month of no meds did not return me to my January self, in fact it was probably worse than on the meds! So then the doctor gave me pregabalin, which helped a little, but is crazy expensive and not covered by insurance. So on June 1st I started Paxil, 10 mgs for the 1st week and 20mgs after that, hoping the pregabalin can help me to get on them. I really want to be off meds, but don't think I am mentally able to at this point. It seems quitting the Zoloft cold turkey, then reinstating, I am much more sensitive to these drugs, does that make any sense? So I am hopeful I can eventually give a med (Paxil) enough time that my body will desensitize to it, and I can be on it for a bit to get stable again, then get off. Anybody experienced anything like this? Will my body desensitize? I am so desperate to feel normal again, I am a father of 3 (10YO Boy, 7YO Boy, 3YO Girl), a husband to an amazing wife, and they need their Dad and Husband back! What should I do? Give Paxil the time to desensitize, then get off after a few months? Is the fish-oil supplement that I still take that helped me reduce my dose of Zoloft causing me to be more sensitive? Quit everything and see what happens? Thanks in advance for reading my story and giving any advice or encouragement.

Hi all, I have been struggling off and on over the last 14 years with what I thought was anxiety the whole time, but am now realizing it was more likely withdrawal from stopping antidepressants too quickly. The first SSRI I was put on was Paxil. I tapered off after 7 months because I never really liked the idea of being on an antidepressant. I started having anxiety a few months later and was switched to 50 mg of Zoloft. I tried multiple times over the next 13 or so years to stop Zoloft, but the anxiety always returned, so back on I would go. In the fall of 2015 I had a return of anxiety after reducing the Zoloft to 25mg and tried to go back to 50, but it wasn't helping, so ended up going to 150mg before I felt relief. I again tried tapering last summer and got down to 25mg and experienced increased anxiety as well as insomnia. My doctor switched me to Lexapro last October, but it only made me more anxious, so after 10 weeks he switched me to Paxil. I got up to 20mg of Paxil for 3 weeks and wasn't feeling any better, so finally decided I had enough and wanted off the antidepressants. I started tapering at the end of January down to 15mg for 2 weeks, then 10 for 2 weeks, then to 7.5, and after about a week and a half at 7.5 started feeling really anxious again. I found this site and decided to go back up to 10mg of Paxil and stabilized for about 2 weeks and then started tapering 10%. Was doing pretty well for a couple of weeks at 9mg and then started feeling a little anxiety creep in. I talked to my doctor about switching to Prozac to make the tapering hopefully easier, so a week ago this Friday I started taking 4.5 mg each of Paxil and Prozac. I have experienced some ups and downs with anxiety since then, and am having a particularly difficult time right now. Feeling quite anxious and can't sleep. I took .5mg lorazepam tablet and am feeling a bit better, but not sure what to do now. I was going to switch to just 9mg of the Prozac and eliminate the Paxil tomorrow, but not sure if I should continue with the half and half mixture I have been doing or maybe even just go back to the Paxil alone? This just sucks so bad. I know I have probably screwed up my system so much with all of these changes and can only pray the damage is reversible. I was feeling pretty good earlier today, but then started feeling terrible as the evening went on. Haven't felt this bad in a while. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Hi. I Hope someone can help. I have been on 15mg Mirtazapine for 8 months, I started it the end of of September 2017. Stupidly, I went cold turkey for 4 days, didnt like withdrawals (lack of sleep, aches and pains) etc, so I reinstated back to full-dose . After nine days back on 15mg I still had not stabilised. I was improving, but getting dizzy spells, some anger and anxiety. So I reduced my dose to 7.5mg and have been on this dosage for the passed 6 weeks and have been through hellish withdrawals. At present I sleep about 4 or 5 hours and wake with akathisia (anxiety) everyday. This lasts till about 12 midday and then turns to deep depression with some suicidal ideation and general low mood till about 7pm when I start to feel normal again. I did not have this morning anxiety, low mood previous to the drop-in dosage, indeed I have never suffered from anxiety. IS IT TO LATE TO REINSTATE BACK TO 15mg ? as I really can't handle this morning anxiety any more. In summery : 15mg Mirtazapine for 8 months cold turkey 4 days reinstatement 15 mg for 9 days reduced dosage 7.5mg for passed 6 weeks. I must also add that prior to being put on Mirtazapine I was on seroxat (Paxil) for 14 years. It pooped out. My gp cross tapered me from one to the other over 4 weeks. So virtually a cold turkey off the seroxat. After six weeks off the Seroxat I crashed so tried to reinstate that but only lasted 10 days my body just couldn't take it. Whilst the last eight months haven't been great on just 15mg of Mirtazapine due to sensitised CNS from seroxat withdrawal, they were a dam site better than the last 6 weeks. In retrospect I think I should have persevered with the original updosage back to 15mg of Mirt for longer than nine days but I panicked as I thought after only 4 days off I should have stabilised after 2 or 3 In short, after 6 weeks on 7.5mg is it to late to reinstate back to 15mg of Mirt and if I do, how long would it take to stabilise ?. Or should I not rock the boat any further and just stay on 7.5 and hope for things to improve, but symptoms are pretty much unbearable at the moment, I am a complete mess . Please help. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Hey everyone, I'm new here and I've seen many helpful threads. There must be lots on Paxil withdrawal but there's so much to go through, I hope y'all can help me out regardless. Basically, I used to be on 40 mg of Paxil. I'm coming off it in order to get on a mood stabilizer, started taking 30 mg before yesterday. I'm experiencing quite the bothersome symptoms: severe dizziness, loss of appetite and feeling numb (rather than me the usual depressed). Can anyone relate to these while having been on the same dosage of Paxil? How are you dealing with the withdrawal symptoms and how long did they last? Thanks for reading and wishing you all well!

Started with postpartum depression 34 years ago - treated with imipramine. Went off it in a couple months.. Repeated four years later with next pregnancy. Again - off in a couple months. With third pregnancy 27 years ago I went on paxil and never went off. 10mg for 20 years and added welbutrin about five years ago. I would like to go off of the Paxil.

hi,all been on &off antidepressants for 20 yrs but never felt this crummy.since stopping Paroxetine have had flu-like symptoms ,then fatigue loss of appetite,taste changes,eye problems(excessive blinking actually started while on it,that's why I quit).depression,anxiety,just miserable,wondering if I should reinstate or just try & hang in there.I was on it about 6 mos.stopped May 4 after about 7 wk taper.thanks for any suggestions

Looking for Shep to make a spreadsheet for me. I’m trying to taper Xanax and someone on this site recommended you to make a spreadsheet for me. I need to spread out my doses. I am very scared not sure how to do signature ive tapered to 5mgs of paxil need to spread out Xanax dosing and taper 4mgs

Hey, I want to intodruce myself on this site because I´m suffering a lot from the Paxil withdrawal even though I have not taken Paxil for a very long time. I was prescribed to Paxil in January 2016 because of a Burn Out / Depression. While Cipralex has not taken the huge panic from me when my Depression/Burn Out started my Doctor said we should try Paxil. My mood was very quickly a lot better with the help of Cipralex but the panic was huge. I´ve never experienced a depression in my life so it was very frigthening to feel such a huge impact in such a negative way. Anyways after about 1 Month on Cipralex my doctor decided to switch on Paxil because "he made good experiences" with this drug. I asked him on which dose I should take it whereon he answered that 40mg should be fine. At this time I had no experiences with Antidepressents so I completly trusted his words and I took my first pill. I remember the first day on Paxil I woke up in the middle of the night and my whole body was tingling and I´ve sweated a lot. There were a few more symptoms but I can´t really remember this time. So after 5 month on 40mg I decided to quit Paxil. (See from my signature) As the symptoms from my depression slowly dissapeared I felt more and more that new symptoms are getting stronger. At this time I thought that I still suffer from my depression and that it will never ever end although I was doing sports at least 3 times a week and going to the psychologist once a week to talk about my problems which really helped me in a way. It´s hard to put my thoughts and epxeriences since 2015 in proper english so I hope you guys can understand me. So in October 2016 I found a german forum for problems with antidepressent and they were very helpful with me and my symptoms. This was the first time someone told me how dangerous Paxil can be and how tremendous the effects to some people on paxil are. They also tried to convince me to taper the drug really slowly off but I thought the earlier my body is clear from this drug the earlier I get my old life back. The impact when I stopped taking Paxil 6 month ago were massive. While tapering it off it was really hard sometimes as well but the time I reached 0mg felt like the hell on earth. I wake up every morning with the feeling I just came out of a night club where I drank a bottle of vodka and snorted 1 g of cocaine. These are the symptoms I suffered the whole time on paxil. Some became stronger the lower I got, some started to fade away and some dissapeared. I copied some from a success story because it is exactly the same hope its okay: Dark depression, anxiety, paranoia, obsessive compulsive, panic attacks, intrusive/obsessive thoughts that tortured me, hopelessness, irrational thinking, suicidal thoughts, brain zaps, intense organic fear, severe inner-body tension that felt like my whole insides were clamped up, sexual dysfunction, severe tension, terrible shoulder and upper arm pain, mania, nausea, dizziness, vertigo, feeling like my brain was on fire, feeling like a part of my brain was missing, lots of preassure in my head, floating head feeling, body temperature regulation problems – being super-hot or cold, constipation, dehydration, lack of appetite, feeling dead, anhedonia, akathisia, mood swings, insomnia, terrible brain fog and inability to think clearly, sensitive vision and hearing, inching and burning skin, cold like symptoms, head congestion, phantom smells, constant tinnitus, severe fatigue and exhaustion, health anxiety, my brain was not able to give the "command" watch left before you cross the street even though I know how to do it ?!, derealization, feeling of never getting healthy again, feeling quite healthy for a few days and then feeling like dying again, intense nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night sweaty with delusions and disorientation, sometimes things seemed to moved very slowly or a street looked like it never ends or I was walking treadmill. As I said some dissapeared but some like the derealization or the dizziness, mood swings, ear buzzing, brain fog and so on are still there. But I´ve the windows and waves which is a good sign, right? I´m writing you because I can´t find something similar in the german forum. Next to the symptoms above I´m suffering a lot from Injuries. Almost every month I have a new injury and today I´m not able to do any sports because of the inflammation of my muscles and tendons. Sport was the only thing besides meditation which helped me to cope with the symptoms. A few days ago I was at my doctor again and we did a full blood analysis. He called me one day later and told me that my blood is totally fine but my CK-Level is very high (1200) normal is ca 200. I called a neurologist which checked me at the same day with a few standard tests. They were all good as well. Last year I checked my thyroid & my brain with MRT everything completely normal. Do you have experiences with injuries during wd? Is it normal to suffer a lot from Paxil even though I´ve taken it only for 1 year? I read that Paxil can cause damage on the immune system? Is this the reason for my injuries? If my immune system is damaged, is it for ever or can it heal like the brain? Best regards, Maggie

Hi everyone, So glad to have found this forum in my journey weaning off Paxil. Because of severe withdrawal symptoms during my doctor's recommended tapering schedule, I'm weaning off Paxil painstakingly slowly (liquid prescription, with a syringe). I have a question about tapering at smaller doses. I accidentally missed a dose (just 1.2 mg.) on January 17. Anyone who has taken Paxil knows that you do. not. skip. a dose. I don't know how it happened, but I forgot to take it one night (for the first time in about ten years). For the next TWO WEEKS, I was nauseous, had trouble eating, had mood swings, and worst of all, had some very scary depersonalization (feeling like I was in a dream or on LSD). Very scary. So, this can really happen from just missing a tiny 1.2 mg. dose? I called my doctor and they said this "isn't because of Paxil." Lol. Thanks so much! (This is why I'm so grateful for this forum--people actually dealing with the reality of tapering off these medicines.) Wouldn't tapering get easier as I get down to lower doses? ? What am I going to do at lower doses? The 10% method sounds good in theory, but yikes -- it will take forever just to get off 1.2 mg. My eventual goal is to get off Paxil and Zoloft, but my primary goal is to stay alive. I appreciate your thoughts and opinions! Thanks! I ran out of room in my signature for my quite-lengthy history, so I am expanding it here since this is my intro post: On Paxil since 1996--anxiety and depression. It worked for a while, but had to keep increasing it. 20 mg --> 40 mg --> 60 mg. For years I've wanted to get off it -- it wasn't working anymore, but very difficult to come off. Early 2013--Getting treated for sleep apnea (with CPAP) eliminated about 75% of my anxiety. Who knew?!?!? How long had I had sleep apnea, but treated anxiety with meds? March 2013: Feeling so good with CPAP treatment that I started weaning off Paxil about 10 mg/month: 60mg to 50 mg to 40 mg (NO negative effects whatsoever--if anything, I just felt better and better.) July 2013-- went from 40 mg to 30 mg. Some dizziness; nothing major. Starting a new job; paused taper. June 2014, began Paxil taper again, going from 30 to 20 in one week. (I can't believe that a medical professional actually advised me to do this.) This was very, very bad (dizziness and suicidality--the first time in my life--very scary), so went back to 25mg. Stayed at 25 mg. for another year. Not looking forward to going back down and continuing taper! In June 2015 started a cross-taper while adding Zoloft--went from 25 mg. Paxil to 20, to 10, to [this was the most difficult one] 5.) The cut from 10 to 5 mg gave me akathisia; nausea; suicidal thoughts; rage; and severe anxiety. Most of my time was consumed in dealing with Paxil tapering effects. August 2015 -- obtained a prescription for liquid Paxil. September: 4 mg Paxil October 2015: Suicidality -- doctor advised me to go up on Zoloft; I did so to save my life. Now at 100 mg Zoloft. (But it's not working -- my exercise, eating, meditation, acupuncture, and supplements are.) October to December 2015: 4 mg Paxil --> 3 mg --> 2 mg --> 1.6 mg. Symptoms are tolerable at this rate; the worst is a feeling of being intoxicated for several hours a day. But going this slow makes me feel like it will take forever to get off! ! ! Currently: 1.2 mg Paxil. Also: Vitamin D; Vitamin B complex; magnesium; plenty of protein; exercise; acupuncture; meditation/mindfulness; working with a naturopathic doctor.

Well I have always had some sort of anxiety my whole life. Of course, nowhere NEAR as bad as the anxiety WD has caused me. I missed school a ton growing up cause it just made me anxious to be around a lot of people and I was very shy. Just the thought of having to go to school gave me a nervous stomachache. This led to me actually dropping out for a while in high school. Thankfully I was able to enroll in an alternative high school with very small classes where we could go at our own pace and make our own hours. I was able to graduate and get my diploma in under 2 years. I've also had OCD for as long as I can remember. I was tormented by my intrusive thoughts and thought there was something very wrong with me or I was possessed. When I was around 11 or 12 I was looking in a psychology book for some answers and when I read the description for OCD I had a Eureka moment. "That's me!" I was so happy I started crying. So I guess I diagnosed myself but it was later confirmed by a child psychologist. Around 1998 (when I was 18 years old) is when I started seeing commercials on TV for Paxil. Again, when I heard the description I thought it sounded a lot like me. I had just been broken up with by a guy for being "too shy". I was hating how reserved I was and my "social anxiety." It had been getting even worse as now I was getting very nervous and racing heart when in restaurants or standing in line at the store. So I went to a psychiatrist and told him I wanted this drug, Paxil. After a LONG questionnaire and hearing my symptoms he agreed it might help me. I asked him if I could stop taking it any time I wanted and he said "Yes." LIE. That was the day I made the worst decision of my life and I will always regret taking that first pill. So I started the Paxil at 20mg and had no start up effects that I can remember. A few months later I took a trip by myself on a bus half way across the country. So I gues the Paxil was "working." I also missed a couple of doses and that is when I found out about the horrible WD. Zaps, crazy sensitivity to noises, nausea, etc. It scared the crap out of me. Felt like I was stuck on this poison. The years start to pass and I begin to become numb to everything. I gain 30 pounds, which doesn't sound like much but on someone 5'2" with a small frame it definitely shows. Although I was in a relationship I became more and more disinterested in sex. My favorite hobby was sleeping. I had zero ambition and zero motivation. In 2002, my BF at the time finally convinced me to try to get off this drug. I started taking 2.5mg drops every month or so from 30-40mg (cant remember exactly). As I got lower my interest in sex returned and I felt good. I decided to go on birth control. Two weeks after starting it I crashed completely. I was at about 10mg of Paxil at that time. One morning I woke up to nausea, some vomiting, a horrible burning sensation everywhere in my body, horrible anxiety, and the dreaded akathisia which was by far the worse symptom. I became suicidal and made an emergency appt. with a psychiatrist (not the one who initially prescribed it) who talked to me for 15 minutes and said this was proof I needed to be on the drug for the rest of my life. She proceeded to up my dose back to 30mg. I slowly started to feel better and the experience was enough to scare me away from attempting to taper off for several years. In Dec. 2006 after I get out of that relationship I feel something needs to change in my life. I was very unhappy with who I was. So I once again start to taper from 37.5mg. In 2008 I make it 20mg and decide to take a break. I go out with friends, I drink ALOT. Sleeping, smoking pot, eating, and drinking alcohol are my favorite activities. The break lasts for a whole year. In 2009 I commence my taper, but I notice it's getting a lot harder, which would make sense since besides the crash in 2002 I have never been on a dose lower than 20mg. I have to reduce my drops to less than 5%. At around 15mg in Aug. 2009 I get a part time job I love but I'm so scared of having WD at work that I take even smaller drops. In a year at that job I drop about 3mg. In 2010 I start to have stomach problems and anxiety increases. I have to stop eating red meat completely as I notice it makes my stomach problems worse. I carry a bottle of Pepto Bismol in my purse with me everywhere I go. Stomach problems give me anxiety and vice versa so it's a vicious cycle. Finally in Aug. 2010 I'm spending most of my time at my job in the bathroom so I decide to quit the best job I ever had. Probably just as well as about a month later is when the crap really hits the fan. In late September I take a 4% drop from 11.8 to 11.4. I get a little depression after about a week. Two weeks after that I try to eat a bit of red meat and visit the website of someone I used to know and it makes me very anxious. Several hours later I begin to feel very nauseous and anxious. I finally make myself throw up and feel a little better. I sleep a lot the next two days. The day after that however I stop sleeping completely. My anxiety goes into overdrive. I have no appetite and can't eat. I feel shaky, and depressed. My brain has forgotten how to sleep all of a sudden although I have never had insomnia in my entire life previous to this. If I do pass out it is for less than a hour. For 9 days I sleep one hour every 3 days. I see weird cartoony things when I close my eyes. I hear things that I know are not there. Once I had an awful bloody image flash into my mind out of nowhere when trying to fall asleep that "woke me up" with a gasp. I try everything over the counter: Benadryl, herbal sleep pills, melatonin, valerian. Nothing works. Finally someone gives me some Xanax and Trazadone. I take .50mg of Xanax and 25mg of Trazadone. Instead of sleeping one hour I sleep two. The next day I am more groggy than the night before and I am FINALLY able to sleep 5-6 very broken hours. I also updose to 12mg. I start to feel a little better but this doesn't last long. Three weeks later my stomach starts acting up again and I am unable to sleep. Not only am I unable to sleep but now every time I am about to fall asleep my body violently jerks awake. It is torture. I decide to start dropping again. I find I feel a little better after a drop but it doesn't last long. I start to drop every 3 weeks. The depression is still so bad cause I don't know what's wrong with me and my body keeps jerking awake, usually all night. I become suicidal and try to suffocate myself one night. Then I realize, I DON'T want to die. I just don't want to keep living like this. By the grace of God I make it through. I lose about 15 pounds in 4 weeks. I guess this brings us up to present, fifteen months after that "rough patch" or "mini crash". I still have no idea what caused it. The jerks are still here and still drive me insane but thankfully they have weakened and are not as relentless (usually) as they used to be. My sleep has never been the same since. I take magnesium and melatonin every night to sleep. If I get even slightly stimulated good or bad I am unable to sleep. Even going out with friends stimulates me too much and I am unable to sleep. I can't exercise for even 10 minutes cause it makes my jerks worse. I am still not working. I have found it has gotten even harder under 10mg. I have gone from tapering every 3 weeks to every six weeks. From 4% drops to not even being able to do 2.5% drops. I taper .1mg every 6 weeks. At this rate it will take me 6+ years to get to off if I can at all. I read on the other forum about someone who was going as slow as me and she STILL crashed at 6mg. I'm very hopeless. I am so freaking sensitive to drops and can't imagine how I will ever get off this poison. It has been three years since I started tapering from 20mg and I'm not even close to being off. I'm too scared to switch to Prozac because of all the horror stories I've heard and the fact that it is notoriously activating. If I try to hold on a dose longer than 7 weeks I feel very bad. I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Really don't know how to proceed and if I will ever get my life back. I am 31 now and would very much be able to have kids someday. I'm single and have been for a long time cause I can't even go out anymore and meet people. When I do go out, I don't sleep like I said. So that's it. Thanks if you took the time to read this LONG, LONG introduction. I pray for all you guys and I hope you will pray for me too. XX

Hi Everyone! I can't even express in words how glad I am I found this forum! I've been on 25mg CR of Paxil for 11 years now. Started to taper off at the end of last summer as my life is much more stable now and I was tired of feeling numb/like a zombie/tired ALL THE TIME. The difference I've felt since being on such a smaller dose now is day and night. I have energy and am not falling asleep during the day anymore. My anxiety has also been incredibly manageable and I haven't struggled too much with it. I like so many have experienced that my doctor has no idea what she's talking about. She advised first to switch from the 25mg CR version to 12.5mg CR version, which I did, and the first couple weeks were rough. It got better, but then had another relapse of symptoms 6 weeks in. I ended up soldiering through as it was manageable and stayed on the 12.5 through the end of the year. At the start of this year I began to taper off again, first to the non-CR version, then down 2.5mg/week per the advice of my doctor. I experienced no withdrawal symptoms until I hit 3.75 (they were still very mild) then some more intense but still manageable at 2.5mg. The big mistake I made was going down to 1.25 when I wasn't feeling great, because yesterday was a day from hell. I could hardly get through the day, it was so awful. So, after reading the advice here I went back up to 2.5 last night and am feeling much better today. Just mild symptoms (brain zaps mostly, and feeling like I'm going to cry at any point) which are tolerable and am hoping they'll subside soon. I am thankful to have read about the 10% taper off plan because my doctor literally told me I was at such a small amount now that I should be fine to hop off (HA!). Also really thankful to read that I only have to go back up to a little bit to feel okay again. I was worried I would have to reinstate at almost the full dose. I've been managing with a quicker taper due to meditation (headspace app), essential oil blends, running, long walks, pilates and weekly CB therapy (as well as lots of face time with Jesus). I also took a B Complex vitamin for the first time yesterday, which I feel helped too. Was super discouraged yesterday at my set back but am optimistic this new 10% taper plan will have me off in a few months. I am thankful to have found a place where so many are in similar spots to me as they are fairly rare to find in my day to day life. This isn't a race! Tapering off is TOUGH - let's do this together

I'm 45 years old. I have been on psychiatric drugs since I was 25. For years, 17, I was on Paxil 20mg and tegretol 200mg. I believed I tripped off my first depression after using ecstasy, which I think altered my brain's serotonin functioning. Four years ago I went to my gynecologist seeking help for worsening pms, as I believed perimenopause was coming into play. I failed to consult with my psychiatrist and trusted her. After a too-quick taper off of Paxil and onto Lexapro things just completely deteriorated. After 6 months I was a wreck, did another, even shorter, taper off of Lexapro back onto Paxil. But I was sunk...I think my central nervous system was wrecked. The ensuing year of onto and off of a variety of drugs was nothing short of a nightmare. Sparing all the details, I landed on the following drugs: Remeron 15mg Paxil 20mg Lamictal 125mg Pristiq 100mg Lithium 600mg Klonopin .5mg Trazodone 50mg It's criminal. A John's Hopkins psychiatrist specializing in women's hormone related mood issues said my gynecologist's cavalier actions verged on malpractice. A recent, and current, rash believe to be pityriasis rosea prompted my current psychiatrist to insist I stop Lamictal cold turkey. The dermatologist diagnosed it. He, without seeing the rash himself, is insistent. In light of what I feel is a damaged central nervous system I have decided to trust my dermatologist. That said, this situation has prompted me to consider the idea of eliminating the Lamictal. It's a start. I also believe Lamictal in some way tinkers with estrogen, something I'd like to avoid. It has been a hellish journey. I do not trust the psychiatric industry. I believe that how my case has been handled, so carelessly and without regard to actual true health, is shameful. I never, ever thought I'd be on multiple drugs like this. I am a high functioning, intelligent woman with a constitution sensitive to endocrine changes. I have been terrified of even considering touching any of this. While in the back of my mind wondering....what will happen to me after years of being on so many drugs? For the record, I have never been manic, ever. Lithium does function for me as an antidepressant. I understand that I'm somewhere on the spectrum, and because of long periods of happiness and wellbeing interrupted by 3 episodes of major depression, each with clear origins, I have been labeled bipolar2. I don't care much for labels. All I know is I'm on a serious amount of drugs. And I'm finally willing to find the courage to wrap up this bizarre ride. Lamictal first. Thanks for reading. Any encouragement or feedback gladly welcomed. Hope

Thank god for a site like this, I feel like I have been going crazy for the last few years . I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet. I was put on Paxil when I was a teenager as my doctor thought it would help me get through some difficult years, counseling would of been a much better approach. I was sexually abused as a child but never told anybody so when I was a teenager I dealt with this by using recreational drugs to ease the pain . My parents thought it would be a quick fix being on an antidepressant to help me out. I used Paxil for years upping and lowering my dose from 20mg to 50mg as needed , thinking that I had to take them because I had a chemical imbalance . I never thought once coming of them or did I know the bad effects they can do to you. Only up until I had my last child three years ago everything changed. I was taking only 30mg of Paxil which my psychiatrist told me it would be fine for the baby . I had to have an emergency cesarean and had complications. I got a servers infection and that brought on my first panic attack and severe aniexty. My baby was going withdrawal from Paxil shaking and wouldn't sleep . The nurses was giving me strong painkillers that I think was making me worse , after 2 weeks in the maternity hospital I was then put in a mothers and baby unit at mental hospital . I only lasted a day as didn't won't to harm myself or my child , I just wanted this aniexty to stop ,I was constantly worrying and looking at it now my hormones would have been all over the place. I upped my medication to highest dose under my psychiatrist advice. I felt better in a few weeks. A year later I thought I was doing fine and lowered my dose and I crashed, couldn't eat waves of aniexty , agitation, dizziness, insomnia ,derealization and night sweats the list goes on. My psychiatrist then put me on Seraquel at night which seemed to work, but I was getting up in the middle of the night eating like crazy and then couldn't get up in the morning. So I stopped taking the 25mg of Seraquel. Back to my psychiatrist I went and he told me that he thought it would be a good idea to change to another antidepressant, his chose was Cymbalta and he wanted me to tapper my Paxil in 5 days and 3 days with nothing then start with 30mg of Cymbalta for 1 week 60mg for two weeks then 90mg for 2 weeks. I crashed very bad into my 2nd week in Cymbalta and went to see my psychiatrist again, who told me its my aniexty and depression coming back, which now I know is bullsh*t. I think I was having withdrawals from the Paxil . I went to a new psychiatrist who told me it was Cymbalta that was doing it to me and tapered me off Cymbalta again in a week and started me at 50mg of Zoloft for 3 days 75mg 3 days and now 100mg as well as still taking my 50mg of Seraquel. I feel like I won't to come off all of this and I know my family and friends aren't going to support me, as they don't understand. I halved my dose of Seraquel to 25mg 4 nights ago and my waves of aniexty are getting worse . I would love meet people on this site who can help me out with this. I have two beautiful children that are my life and I just want to be normal again and I think I would be better if a gave my brain a chance to heal itself but I'm very scared.

Hello! Seeking advice and support having discovered how dependent I am after over 20 yrs of taking paroxetine. Withdrawal symptoms of extreme sustained insomnia, excessive sweating and intense anxiety are making life unbearable and I am horrified at how ignorant I have been about my meds. I now realise GP probably made things worse by suggesting a change to mirtazapine before returning to paroxetine. GP suggested back to 20mg but I couldn't bare the thought of possibly having to repeat the withdrawal so decided on ½ dose (10mg). Not sure if I've done the right thing as still have severe symptoms after 7 days. I now realise all these changes were far too fast but do I hang on to this dose to see if I stabilise and how long do I give it?? I'm just beginning to realise that this is likely to be life changing....not what I'd planned at 58....as may well loose my job and it's a huge strain on family and friends. It's confusing and frightening. See gp on Thurs and feel it would be good to have an idea of what I should be aiming for re medication. He gave me propranolol (a beta blocker) for the anxiety but I've since discovered it could be contributing to the insomnia. Has anyone got any experience of that? With thanks and hoping to be able to share experiences!

Hi all , I am 8 months off reinstated sertraline for a month ( by doc) and Aripropazole. History Its around 4 years back when i passed out my college and not get placed even after making to finals in many interviews .. that i decided to write competitive exam for PG. I had taken coaching but just before exam I came back and found myself unable to recall things. My brain is just like nothing in it. I found myself in despair and stopped studying. This fog is happening all the time since my engineering but I managed to get average marks sometimes and sometimes very good . There is more in back history but I ll get to it later. So, my parents took me to a psychiatrist ( family known) and he put me to Olanzapine and one more thing. He diganosed me bipolar2. I got about 10 pounds on it but its not help . Meanwhile after 4 months, with the help of a relative , I got intern in a company and I moved out with fog to a distant city. TThere in a hospital, they put me on floxetine and Amisulpride for 3 months . Then i moved to a private psychiatrist ... where it starts getting haywire . He stopped fluoxetine and Amisulpride . And put me on Venlafaxine and Seroquel... As i was interning, i get usual heat racing in between job times but my doctor convinced me to stay with it . 4 months and I just started feeling agitated due to stress. It happened that I slapped a senior on abusing me and there I left a job I never happened to get physical in my school or college .. but it happened. Doctor told me to scrap the prescription he wrote of raising Venlafaxine. And he put me paroxetine + Oxcarbazepine. In his words , it is best tolerable and has lesser side effects. I managed to get a job by my own and cracking first time. But this time there is lot of work and culture pressure. Its a startup with full of politics . Boss and his boss .. all keep on putting things. Let office aside, I started feeling some well .. overly casual ... excited .. raged .. Iits about 25 mg Paroxetine and 300/600 mg Oxcarbazepine. I had unusual violent acts .. had hit a school friend .. insomnia.. I decided to leave the paxil by asking the doctor . He said half in a week and then other half a week to off. Thats when it all started , i cannot sleep whole night and with day light i start getting a nap. I left going office with fear of state i was in . I cannot wake and even if I .. i was too tired and angry . Doctor then gave me Mirtazapine which didn't help . I resigned job telling muly boss about all and came back home. It was Nov,2015. I start getting yhese uncontrollable rage that I locked myself in a room. Parents took to a local shrink who put me on Venlafaxine+ Mirtazapine(CRF), lamotrigine, resperidal, Seroquel. The NEXT Day I woke up so fresh .. all calm like 12 yrs back .. i was smiling happy.. but it lasted only 4 hrs .. and i am doomed again . I took those meds 10 days and i decided to go off. Physical Damage. I got brain zaps as sounds with eye movement .. While on Paxil I got severe neck stiffness and movement pains - which came out as Osteophytes. Anger , heart race , memory, fog , chest pains , fatigue ... All I beared for 4 months. Reinstatement after 4 months. Father took me to another psych who put me on Sertraline+ Aripropazole+ Seroquel. I started having increases restless legs than before and the doctor asked me not to go over net. After 2 visits and when he said it wslas Aripropazole for restlessness all time.. and he is cutting it . I stopped all meds . Withdrawals in 8 months. All first symptoms with some new like utter sensitivity in teeth. It is while breathe in most of the teeth . Muscles gone from forearms .. My left hands gone ulnar neuropathy and i got surgery done when no hope lived. Right hand has stiffness too . MAnger I am living with .. I have stopped talking .. I have decided to go sit on my Shop but I was unable to understand the talk . In spite anger biuts and memory makes it difficult to adjust. I keep forgetting people faces .. important talks . So i stopped . Now I am muted all the time with burst inside . Read success stories and play CoC. This is the most I can write now.

Hi Everyone, I’m glad to find this forum, which I joined because I’m about to try to get off Paxil, which I’ve been taking for 25 years. I’ve tried twice before and the withdrawal was so severe that I ended up in the ER both times. This was before SmithKlineBeecham admitted there was a problem with withdrawal, and no one, including the doctors I saw, knew anything about it. Of course I tried to taper way too fast. I went back on it because the withdrawal was intolerable and because it did work on my depression, from which I’ve suffered all of my life. Now it has quite suddenly stopped working. I’m taking 60 mgs of Paxil and 300 of Wellbutrin (time-release version). Other drugs I’ve tried over the years include Elavil, Triavil, Pamelor, Valium, Effexor, Celexa, Zoloft, Desyrel, Prozac, Remeron, Brintellix, Viibryd, Lexapro, plus (at various times) Klonopin, Ambien, Trazadone. For about six months I also took antipsychotics because a doc thought I might be bipolar 2. It was a disaster—never have I been so terrified of mental illness. Those drugs included Seroquel, Lamictal, Cymbalta, Quillivant, and Latuda, which caused akithesia (sp?). My poor brain has been under the influence of these substances for a total of 32 years now. I’m deeply anxious about discontinuing all meds, but determined to do it. I want to know the truth about what my mind is like without them. I wish I knew of a specialist in my area (upstate NY) I could consult. My doc is great, but I don’t think he knows more than the average shrink about the withdrawal syndrome. I plan to start the taper on May 1st, and lessen the dose once a month by 5% of the previous month’s dose, a schedule that seems to be generally recommended. I’m scared! And that’s my situation. On a more personal note, I’m a writer and teacher. Hobbies are sewing and gardening.I look forward to exchanging info. With others here.

Hi gang ! I am here to use the summer of 2018 to taper off Paxil after taking it for Decades !! I appreciate all the helpful suggestions and ideas thus far read. wishing you all a smooth transition. I have stated by liquefying my dose..but may go to filing my tabs to the right dose using a scale...we will see. wish me luck !

Moderator note: link to benzo forum thread - Miko789: Xanax withdrawal/tapering Hi, I'm new to the forum, I have some questions I want to ask. My doctor prescribed effexor for depression, in 2009. Now I'm free of symptoms and I managed to come off with withdrawal symptoms though. That's with the antidepressant. Now I'm on Risperdal consta from November 2013 and seroxat 10mg. My doctor prescribed with risperdal consta 3,3mg/day long acting injection every two weeks. From February 2015 he lowered the dosage to 25mg/every 2 weeks equals 1,66mg/day. I tried to lower the seroxat 10mg but after 40-45h I have withdrawal symptoms vertigo, dizziness. Is it possible to cut down seroxat? How about the Risperdal consta (long acting injection). Has anyone tapered off completely without withdrawals? I read about the 10% harm reduction procedure to taper off and I'm going to tell my doctor and follow. thanks in advance

Hi you all! I am Athena. So my tough journey begins in 2001, when I am diagnosed with depression. I am then prescribed Effexor, which instantly gives me huge side effects: vomiting, tremors, sweats... But I am a tough warrior and I put up with them, for a year and a half. In 2005, depression comes back, and here starts the trial-and-error of many, many AD's: Celexa, Zoloft, Effexor, desipramin, Wellbutrin, mirtazepin, Lamictal, Remeron, Abilify, nortriptylin, Cipralex, Cymbalta, and others I don't remember. They all give me side effects that are almost as bad as the disease in itself. When I would try to stop them, I would have really bad symptoms of depression, so I began to believe that that was going to be my life, which is quite depressing in itself! Last summer (2012), while being on Cymbalta, I developped really bad sleeping problems: I would sleep maximum 3 hours per night, and only with a med called Imovane. So I started to be addicted to that in order to sleep. But I was so tired that I decided to stop the Cymbalta, so my doctor prescribed me Paxil. I was already on Wellbutrin as well. Paxil made me SO sleepy, that I tried to quit in Sept. 2012, first from 20mg to 10mg, which went well, and then 2 weeks later from 10mg to 0. Outch. That's when I found out about withdrawal symptoms, which I had never heard of before for AD's. It was awful, but it might have been my revelation, because they were really PHYSICAL symptoms. I started to read a lot about the subject on the internet. I have learned a lot, and I have started to think that the depression symptoms I have been having when I tried many times to stop my meds were maybe in fact WITHDRAWAL symptoms. My doctor didn't think so. Even so, I started to taper slowly from Paxil and to take good care of myself in other natural ways. So here I am now, on 7mg Paxil, 100mg Wellbutrin and 2.5mg Imovane. My doctor keeps telling me to try and taper Paxil faster than I am now... so he can be able to prescribe me something else... a MAOI (?).I am not really interested in trying a 20th (?) medication. All of the previous ones have given me really bad side effects that have put my life on hold for 10 years... Why would this one be different? He claims that I am going to have a depression relapse if I don't take any medication... So here is my first question: do you guys think what I have experienced as "depression relapse" when I was trying to stop the AD's many times in the last 10 years, might have been in fact withdrawal symptoms? And that if I taper them a lot more gradually, I might not have those "depression symptoms" forever? And therefore, I wouldn't have to take the so-called MAOI? My second question is: which one do you think I should taper first? Paxil or Wellbutrin? I wanted to get off Paxil as fast as possible because it was making me so sleepy, but right now, it seems like the side effects from Wellbutrin are more disturbing. It has always affected my breathing, like I have to make an effort to breath completely, and it has given me some joint pain. But right now these seem to be worse, breathing is more difficult and it makes the breathing muscles become too contracted and sore. Plus I know that breathing right is important during recovery... Also, the problem with Wellbutrin is that you're not supposed to cut the pill, since the covering is doing the "slow-release" job... Well this was my story! I know it's a looong and boring story but it's mine... If anyone would have any input or advice on one or both of my questions, I would be SO grateful!! Also, please forgive my English mistakes, it is not my mother tongue. I really wish a full physical and mental health to everyone here, and I am looking forward to know and discuss with you all!! All the best. -Athena

Hi Ginger, I was very encouraged by your experience with paxil recovery I saw on one of the threads. In January of this year I quit paxil cold turkey. I had been taking it for 24 months, the majority of it at 60 mg. I went through about a good two months of physical withdrawal symptoms. I thought I was in the clear after this but then I was hit by an episode of acute psychosis where I felt I was being stalked by someone. This went away and moved onto a fear of sollipsism "That the world is not real". I was originally taking the paxil for OCD. Now I worry that I have somehow permanently done something to my brain by going cold turkey. or that I have already lost my mind. Can you give me a little bit more detail about your experience or some advice to help me. I had to reinstate zoloft and also take ativan. Ginger's topic: Ginger: how I got here

Doc. said reduce Celexa by 1/2 due to QT prolongation risks. Went from 20 to 10 mg. 1 month ago. Feeling pretty crappy as indicated all over this forum. At 72 I'm not sure I want to start a multi-year withdrawal process. Might just switch to Wellbutrin?? Any comments certainly welcome! 2000 - 2008 Zoloft 2008 - 2014 Paxil 2014 - Present Celexa

Hi, I've been on SSRI's now for about 20 years except for a few years in the middle. First it was Prozac with BuSpar, and over the last 10 years Paxil with Klonopin. I'm in search of who I am off of these meds, and I'm sick of the side-effects (mainly sexual side effects of Paxil for me). I successfully tapered off of Klonopin over 1 year from 0.5 mg (finished that in May of '16), and I've been tapering off of Paxil for the last year and a half from 30 mg. to my current dose of 10 mg. This is my second deliberate attempt to get off of SSRI's. The first attempt was done very quickly in 2012 (over about a month) and it was a disastrous fall into extreme anxiety resulting in voluntary hospitalization for five nights in a locked unit. In 2014 I was switched from Paxil to a different drug altogether (Lamictal), and that was also a terrible event because the doctor had me go off of the Paxil too quickly, resulting in a quick descent into anxiety, then the worst soul-crushing depression I've ever experienced. I was out of work for 5 weeks. I'm happy to share more details later, but for now I'll focus on the here and now. So back to the current withdrawal attempt. I was down to 10 mg of Paxil in November, 2017, and I told my psychiatrist that I wanted to continue the slow taper. He prescribed liquid Paxil at the equivalent of 9 mg for 2 weeks, then 8 mg, but when I went to pick it up I was told it would be over $150. Yikes! The pharmacist recommended I look into having it compounded elsewhere to save money. After searching for a compounding facility, calling my doc and writing him a letter, I finally got the prescription for a compounded version of Paroxetine for $70 / month, plus $5 shipping. A couple weeks later it arrived, and I was very happy to continue my slow, controlled taper. That was around Dec. 22, 2017. That's when things went wrong. After a couple days I started feeling a bit cantankerous, fidgety, and my appetite increased. I had just re-started working out, and this adrenaline rush fueled my anger and appetite. You know that feeling when you've run out of fuel and you've got that hungry, angry feeling inside? I was feeling like this almost all the time. About five days after starting the compounded Paxil I had an incident at work where I lost my temper. I apologized and things smoothed over, but I'm pretty convinced that something wasn't right with the compounded medication. Maybe it was measured wrong; maybe the bitter cold affected it in shipping. I don't know, but I strongly doubt it was 9 mg. Paxil. So I went back to the 10 mg., and that's when I've been on for the last 5 nights. But my mind and body are both very much off-kilter. My anxiety's increased and the insatiable hunger continues. I have a high-metabolism which is even higher under this stress, so I can't seem to satiate my appetite. I'm hoping that after a few more days things will even out, and I plan on staying at 10 mg. for at least a couple weeks before I start a taper again. I've since picked up the prescription for the liquid Paxil; I decided that when I continue the taper, I want to make sure I'm very confident of the accuracy of the medication. I don't trust the compounded version now. Thanks for reading. Any encouragement would be much appreciated as I re-stabilize.

Roughly 3 months ago I quit taking Paxil 20mg. I was on it for about a year. I in fact did google before hand about tapering and I tapered off for about 4/5 weeks. I was making bad life decisions and had anger issues but otherwise, I felt okay. I’ve gone through a lot of life changes in these last 3 months but nothing catastrophic in nature. I moved back in with my husband. We had separated for 6 months. Other than that, no loss of job or death in the family. About 2 weeks ago I started to not feel well. I started to feel extremely depressed and withdrawn. Episodes of crying. Those I could handle. But about a week or so ago, I started to develop flu like symptoms, but no flu. No coughing, no fever, no vomiting. But otherwise, my body felt like I had the flu. Then the anxiety started. And we’re not talking about brief panic attacks. I mean spiraling ones that would come in waves for hours on end. I felt so sick, I went to the Er. I couldn’t take it any more. At that point, I had been in a state of perpetual panic and flu like symptoms for 48 hours with no relief. They did labs, ekg and X-rays. Said I just had anxiety and sent me home. My days seem to get worse, and not better and it’s frightening me. Daily symptoms: Flushing/hot flashes chills/shivering headaches nausea muscle aches and pains/tightness chest pain to the touch lightheaded heart palpitations fatigue blirred vision EXTREME anxiety. Hourly. Never ending. Waking up at 4am nightly feeling like I’m dying loss of interest in everything. I’m merely a vegetable. Has anyone else experienced this drastic delayed response? I have nothing else to attribute it to. I would also like to note that I start each day feeling my best (still not well) and progressively get worse throughout the day. Night being the absolute worst. So much so, that I absolutely fear bedtime. I’m scared that I’ll comtinued to degrade and won’t ever be myself again.

I was on a medication for depression,anxiety, and panic attacks for 2-3 yrs than I went off the med , but 2 yrs later I relapsed, than I started to take 30mg paxil. - On Paxil 30mg for 15 yrs than I tapered it off around aug 2013 went down to 20mg for 3 month than 10mg for 2 month than 5mg for 2 month than 5mg every other day for 1 month than 5mg every two day for 1 month than 5mg every there day for 1 month than 5mg every four day for 1 month than 5mg every five day for 1 month than 5mg every six day for 1 month than 5mg every 7 day for 1 month than 5mg every 8 day for 1 month July 30 2014- Went on vacation- I took a 3 day bus ride, then a wk later, i took an 3 day bus back. On the way back all I was very anxious and had very negative thoughts. I had a panic attack on the bus so I took a 5mg of paxil. When i get back home, it didnt go away and havent slept in days. Anxiety, despression panic attacks got worse. Went to go see family doctor, now i am back on paxil 20mg daily. Aug 10, 2014 - 5mg (on bus) Aug 11, 2014 - 10mg (at home) aug 12, 2014 - 20mg (after seeing dr) so here I am taking 20mg of paxil again daily. I think I tapered down to fast, because i didn't know better. -This is the second time I try tapper off Tapper off 20mg for 11 months went down to 10mg right now. when I was on 11mg I was ok but I just start the 10 mg 10 days ago April 25, 2016 Right now I having anxiety attack and depression. what Should I do. go back up to 20mg or Stay on 10 mg. I am doing this on my own I don't have a doctor and should I go see a psychologist or a doctor better. If you have any suggestions or advice, please feel free to post. thx

I have spent the last week in bed reading this site over and over, combing through the words, looking for some sign of hope. In 1997 I was placed on Paxil 20mg after a traumatic event; I was 16 at the time. At the time my parents were told I could come off anytime, no risk of anything. As soon as I was put on, I started experiencing very intense side effects but I was also in the throws of severe PTSD with constant panic attacks, insomnia, terror... So it was hard to say which was which. I remained on the Paxil until 2009. In 2009, I decided I wanted to go off. I never thought to google or look online, I just asked my OBGYN. She said that it's best to go slow, and gave me liquid paxil. She said to go down 5mg a month. I wish I could recall the details of how I tapered down between 20 and 8 but I honestly cannot. All I know is that I never had any side effects at all. Sometimes I would have brain zaps, and weird dreams that started just as I dozed off, but for the most part I was A-OK. NO other side effects at all and the ones I did have only lasted a few days at most. Fast forward to this year. After being on 8mg for years, I decided I wanted to try coming off because I was feeling chubby (if I'm being honest). Let me also state that this last year has been, without a doubt the most stressful time of my entire life. We moved, started new jobs, I was sexually harassed at work, I ended up working 3 jobs, nonstop SNS in overdrive. I say this, because I'm honestly not sure if what I am experiencing is Paxil related so I want to give the full details and story here. On February 3rd 2018 I took my liquid Paxil dose from 8mg - 7.5mg. Again, I had never googled this, I just kind of made it up in my head. I didn't know there was anything to even google because other than my OBGYN saying briefly to go down slow, I didn't even know withdrawal was a thing. Everything was great. ZERO side effects. However, in my life, everything fell apart. My 8 year old daughter get very, very ill, I had to quit one of my jobs due to extreme stress and abuse from a man, and money troubles were up. I was truly in a state of full blown stress - even more hormones were a mess. But still, I was going going going because I just don't know when to quit I suppose. Then, on March 5th, I went to bed and couldn't sleep. Each time I would lay down, I'd get a HUGE surge of adrenaline through my entire body. I'd drift to sleep but be woken by these intense jolts that would leave me throwing up. The first night I was afraid, but I was OK. But then when this happened again the second night, and 3rd night, I began to develop second fears and began to become terrified that something was wrong with me. I went straight to the doctor and begged her to help me. She said my chronic stress had caused me SNS to go into extreme haywire and told me to take Xanax to sleep. That night I took the xanax (I think it was .5) and it didn't help me sleep. Instead I just laid there terrified that I wasn't sleeping. At this point, the ONLY thing I was experiencing was insomnia and anxiety related to the insomnia because I am terrified of not sleeping since I was a little girl. I went to my doctor again, and she said it was just the extreme stress from the year and asked me about my Paxil. I told her I was on 7.5 and she said to go to 14mg. I have since read the incredibly informative post about how this is a horrible idea, but again, I had no reason to even suspect anything at all is wrong with Paxil or with the doctor. None. I went home and took the 14mg liquid Paxil on March 28th. On April 2nd I felt great. April 3rd- 9th I was back to my old self 100%, sleeping nonstop, going about my life. I was still a bit worried by the lack of sleep that happened, but tried not to think about it. And then BOOM two days before my period on April 10th, (sorry if TMI) the insomnia came roaring back - same with the adrenaline surges. I have not been able to sleep more than 1 hour at a time since, and when I do sleep I'm not really sleeping. It's like a half awake thing with adrenaline flashes constantly going off in my body. I'm exhausted. Beyond. I thought it was just my hormones going bananas due to the stress. I called a hormone doctor and she said it sounded just like peri-menopause and to come right in. I went two days ago and she said my hormones were crazy and these symptoms sounded like they were hormonal. But something wasn't right. It wasn't just the insomnia anymore - although I'm wondering if the insomnia is what is causing all of my other symptoms. Possible severe Adrenal Fatigue? Nervous breakdown? PTSD with my SNS stuck on? When I read the list of symptoms of Paxil withdrawal every single one fits - but those same symptoms are in line with SNS response from PTSD as well. Sounds, smells, dizzy, insomnia, burning skin, numb hands and feet, severe depersonalization, OCD obsession with looking up symptoms and possible causes all day every single day... I'm coming to you with my heart broken. I miss my beautiful children. I miss my life. I miss my husband and our family. I wish I could go back in time and figure out where I went wrong. Do you think it is possible that going from 8-7.5 on February 3rd could suddenly cause insomnia on March 5th? Even though it was such a tiny decrease and I'd never had any symptoms of withdrawal before? Also, I *know* I made a HUGE mistake taking the Paxil 14mg on March 28th. I hadn't slept since March 4th and I promise I had no clue this could even be bad. I thought Paxil was like a vitamin that fixed a deficiency I had. (Which I've since read on here, is not the truth). Will I eventually stabilize at 14mg? And then go down again from there? How long until I stabilize? If I go down on the 14mg at this point I'll just freak out my body even more, right? If this is adrenal fatigue or PTSD my SNS won't stabilize on the Paxil until those things are remedied? But this whole thing is causing even more PTSD. The nightmares and visions at night are the most horrifying things I have ever experienced. Night after night. Ugh. What do I do now? I SO respect and appreciate the moderators who give such careful and direct advice on here, and I am wondering how they would approach my situation Thank you. I know this is long. I just want to get it all on here to get the best advice for me and my little family. Thank you so much.