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  1. Hello. I am 55yo female, stay at home mom. I've always struggled with depression and anxiety. I don't like to use self diagnosis, so please forgive these labels...if I were to look at a collection of things that have caused me to have trouble in life, they could be clustered around sensory integration disorder and some aspergers tendencies. I live in a community full of high achievers, and many have the aspergers tendencies, so I don't feel so bad about that anymore, but for 54 years, I did. The sensory integration issues were a hot bed for the exhausting anxiety and resulting depression. I went on Lexapro 5 or 6 years ago when my 11 year old son's learning disability (rooted in sensory integration disorder) was completely overwhelming me. I was freaking out over not being able to help him and my husband's complete inability to help or even participate--for my son or for me. I went on the Lexapro to help me to stop screaming at and physically grabbing and charging at my children, esp the 11 year old, but the then 6 year old was watching. The Lexapro helped, but soon, I realized that anxiety was a useful fuel for me in my days and I missed it. I also became completely depressed over my situation (having given up my outside the home career, husband whose expectation that I seamlessly transition from highly educated executive to laundress), so I went on Wellbutrin. I have also always kept some Lorazepam in my purse for anxiety attacks. Having it available has usually been remedy enough, so I scarcely ever use it. Less than 10 pills per year which I break in half for 50-75% of a whole pill. The apathy that has come with my treatment has gotten way out in front of me. My husband changed jobs, not unusual in his field or in our lives (but tiresome as he is a pain in the --- during the transition), but the insurance transition was annoying so I ran out of Wellbutrin and figured I'd just stop it. Time for the apathy to go away. This was 3-4 months ago, and while initially it was wacky, I feel I am over that. I did, however, gain 15 pounds. On top of the 20+ I had already gained since starting Lexapro and the 20 I gained prior to starting medications with the anxiety with my son, I now have 55 pounds to lose, which of course, makes me depressed and overwhelmed. I want off the Lexapro. I cut 20 mg pills in half and have been on 10 mg for a while. I sometimes forget to take the pill and pay the price with tingling, dizziness, blurred vision. I was going to trim down to 5 mg, but after reading these posts, I will go for 7.5 for a month. Looking for recommendations for supplements for getting through this. Sounds like vitamins, omegas are a starting point. Also the dreaded diet and exercise. I just turned 55, and came up with a program called 55Alive for myself. Shooting for 55 minutes a day of: walking, focused mothering, focused wife-ing (this will be the hardest one), focus on friends, focus on faith, focus on housework & home improvement. Not trying to do all at once, but as much and as many as I can per day. Trying, also, to keep a log. My member name refers back to the year in my life where I was most happy and confident with myself, the most optimistic, and the most energetic in my life. So much exercise involved in that, but it was wonderful. I want to be the person that person would have been at age 55. Thank you.
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