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  1. hello! im so happy to have found this site. I guess i will introduce myself i have been on Paxil for about 4 to 5 years now, taking a pretty low dose of 20 mg. I tried quitting about a year ago, my doctor was supportive but gave me no information about withdrawal and such. After two days with 10 mg I immediately went back. i thought it was my anxiety, not withdrawal. I am now quitting again. I reduced my dose to 10 mg and i have been on this for about 4 days. I am already getting bad symptoms. feeling depressed, tired, crying for no reason, emotional, intrusive thoughts, and anxiety. But honestly I am so determined to quit this time because I want to live a drug free life. I have been praying a lot as a coping method which helps. Here are a list of supplements i've been taking that help make my symptoms less severe (not saying you should do what i say at all, this is just what helped me. i'm not a doctor) : Magnesium, Niacinamide, D3, Iodine, Ashwaganda, and herbal teas. Thank you for having me in this beautiful community, I hope to contribute to in some way. peace will come starting dose: Paxil 20 mg current: paxil 10 mg
  2. Hello, I have been on paroxetine for 7 years,have tried many times to go off but unsuccessfully. Finally on 7 th year i lowered my dose from 20 mg to 10 mg. After panic attacked and insomnia appeared on my trip few months later I took 20 mg while I was on a trip and lowered it again on 10 mg.Due to some medical conditions that I suspected that are cause of paroxetine,I lowered the dose to 0 in maybe two months,way too fast. I was okeish for about two months ( I had all of the symptoms of wd but I fought with it ) and I compelety crushed this February . Tinitus and never ending insomnia are the worse. I started to Google and found all the posts about some neurological damage From this drug which made my anxiety worse. Doctor gave me lorazepam to sleep. My question is ,should I go back to 10 mg and taper more slowly? Am I in a risk of neurological damage From tapering too fast ? Is this tinitus permanent? How long wd simptoms approximately last ? I see I am in risk of developing tolerance to lorazepam since I have been using it two weeks for sleep. My doctor's don't know anything since one wants to put me on mirtazapine and other on Prozac. I am so worried and feeling alone in all this.
  3. i need some advice and/or help in navigating where i'm at with all of this. i have tapered with the help of, previously an inconsiderate doctor, and currently an excellent one. there were times where i was shifted about from tapering lexapro to various different antidepressants, i cannot remember all of them as there were many, but trintellix and was one of them. after a severe (and still recovering) bout of health anxiety, i stumbled upon the ashton manual (around november 2018) and folks talking about their experience with coming off of benzos. since i was taking ativan at the time, it was my scapegoat. i tried kicking it, lurked in various places online for other people's experiences, and started to shift my view to it being less about the benzos, and more about the psychiatric medication as a whole when it didn't quite work out. since february of 2019, i have tapered off of three medications in order: trileptal, geodon, and lexapro. the trileptal was easy enough, but the geodon was a world of hurt. in my signature i've listed that the lexapro and geodon were tapered at the same time- this is to the best of my memory, which is spotty due to the polypharmacy. i know the geodon was the priority, but i seem to recall going back and forth with lexapro's dose while dealing with the geodon withdrawal- which assuredly caused the only psychotic event of my life. i switched doctors after being told to simply 'take the geodon every other day for awhile,' which said doctor told me not to do with the lexapro, and i couldn't handle the fact that my appointments were less than five minutes long. i switched to a new professional, and they are great. i was introduced to the compounding pharmacy for the geodon since it did not go any lower than 20mg, and following the completion of that taper in sept 2019, i focused on the lexapro, which is now completed. i am no stranger to windows and waves, which are thankfully getting much better and easier to tolerate- though the waves are still intense. there are too many symptoms to list, but the FINISH acronym is very apt and applies to me, mostly the zaps, gastrointestinal issues, and insomnia. my biggest concern at the moment is dealing with my sleep issues. previously it was a complete lack of being able to sleep, but now it is more of a reversal of my circadian rhythm. 12 hours on the dot to when i could be waking up otherwise, and i cannot simply 'fix' this as far as i have tried. i have a lot of frustration about having been medicated for entirely the wrong things as a result of being diagnosed with a mental health condition that i do not have by a 10 question piece of paper at a doctor's office, but it is well beyond in the past to change it now. i cannot beat myself up for this, as i was dealing with a gnarly living situation at the time and thought they could help. they could not. this frustration, coupled with having a frazzled nervous system and having a wholly messed up sleep schedule, is getting to me. i have to tell myself that it's okay to be healing right now, as there is not much that is expected of me, but i am having trouble essentially pep-talking myself into feeling better when i feel terrible from still withdrawing. while i am done with all of my medication, there is much healing to be done, and i am very tired of how long this has been going on. apologies for the long post- i felt it necessary to post a bit of history/context, and i have trouble being unprompted for these sorts of things. i have not used a forum in a long time!
  4. Hello there, My name is Angelo, and I was diagnosed with a lot of labels. I've had psychotic breaks, and I was put on a lot of differents medications. I've had 2 shots of Invega the Last year, but my mom Saved me from having more shots. I believed that taking antipsicotics would made me "normal again", but that's not true. I've tried a lot of antipsicotics during my life, and they never made me feel good, i felt good only after some months of quitting them. But now i'm scared because this time i was under antipsicotics for more than one year,(even more that 2 antipsicotic, Haldol Latuda and Talofen, later I found a psyschiatrist who choosed to let me quit all the medications) I've had an extreme akathisia, but now it's a lot better, I felt so agitated that I try to Kill my self more than one time. On the phisical Side i feel really bad, my muscles are really messed, i feel tired, weak... I can't experience Joy, calm, relax, happiness is just an utopia for me, now. My memory is really bad, i'm scared that it's damaged forever, the only thing I want to do is sleeping to avoid this sufference, and this is why I took a benzo before writing this, i will post it and I will go to bed. The world seems really strange to me, i don't feel myself like a person But just like... just like "a thing". I don't see my Friends from a lot of time, and I don't want to see them, i'm not able to socialize anymore, i barely talk, sometimes i walk in a strange way, and I'm afraid that this time, it will Last forever. I would like to feel myself again, I would like to be again the smart Guy i used to be, i would like to heal from everything wich make me bad. But it just sound like impossible. I don't go to school, i don't make anything all the day, and even if I would want to do something, i would feel too bad to do it, i've tried. I live in Italy, wich is a beautiful nation, but I can't feel it. Even if I go to the Sea, i don't feel anything, anything. I started to cry again, but I don't know if it's a sign of a progress, or just my disperation. I've had a lot of dreams for myself, but now it looks like they disappeared. What can I do? Is there somebody who had a similiar experience and recovered or just felt better? I just have to wait? Greetings, Mister G.
  5. Good afternoon everyone! Well let me just start off with a little bit of my history and why I was initially prescribed these medications. Well im 35 now in my younger days around 15-21 I started experimenting heavy with marijuana and a few other light substances but not at all often, well me being a shy kid I don't know why but my heavy marijuana abuse really changed my personality I pretty much craved it like a person would crave a hard narcotic, in this process I became introverted awkward very unkept very hyper aroused. and I did tons of very very weird things under the influence! and of course I became that kid and young adult that was considered icky weird and sometimes scary on some of the embarrassing things I done which i totally understand. So after I became THC free I was still known as that awkward weird unclean guy and suffered a lot of teasing bullying because of it which made me very paranoid anxious socially scared to do anything. My family still bullies me to this day I lost all my friends and most close family members because of my actions as a young adult. and when I look back on the hurt and shame and embarrassment it makes me extremely sad angry anxious and depressed and up to this point these medications were given to me by many different psychiatrist to cure those symptoms. So fast forward 10 years later the Zyprexa Tripled my weight made me chronically fatigued and properly lots of other things I have not discovered yet, and as far as the Anafranil my psychiatrist who recently moved on to another practice agreed that I do not have OCD and she has no idea why it was prescribed in the first place and we discussed ending its use. So here is my theory on why I suffer from depression, anxiety, PTSD social phobias and why I was misdiagnosed over 15 years ago, I think i look back on my past actions that were very bad and extremely weird and I get very sad about the teasing in high school the bullying from family members the way my family pretty much disowned me because of my history of showing some signs of mental issues, also i think about the countless humiliating situations I have been apart of either by my actions or awkward things I would say but this is when I was very younger and using very heavy Marijuana once I stopped using I could see my actions and situations and get very hurt and traumatized by them. So as I sit here at 35 I can man up better and look at that past hurt and digest it better and accept it better which I think someone should have told me many years ago that I decided to use THC and it affected me different than many other users and i did some very embarrassing questionable things. So as of today I have stopped taking Zyprexa 5mg also Anafranil 25mg I always took my meds not as prescribed in my late 20's to the present, I would skip a dose for a day or two then take my dosage when I felt sad anxious or had trouble sleeping. I did a harsh taper of the zyprexa last month completely not by the book i would just take half a pill. but today I am 3 weeks in of no Zyprexa and I have terrible fatigue lethargy body aches I sleep all day constantly, I did experience flu-like symptoms a week ago which scared me because of COVID-19 outbreak then I realized this was a symptom of the withdrawal which has gone away. right now it's the tiredness, body aches, and the fatigue to the point I can barely get out of bed to do anything normal, how long will this last and what can I do to help ease this process along with any supplements or vitamins should I be taking ? Thank you for any words of advice and encouragement!
  6. Hi, I am a 24 year old female from Montreal, Canada. I keep my childhood close to my heart as it is evidence of life being enjoyable. At age 12, I was diagnosed with O.C.D. and after a year or two of therapy, I was able to rid myself of most of my obsessional behaviours. At age 13, entering high school, I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and depression, and was quickly put on anti-depressants. The following decade of my life consisted of continuous suffering (unwavering depression, hospital stays, self harm, suicidal tendencies, crisis after crisis, chain smoking cigarettes, chronic weed smoker, overweight, risky behaviour, terrible relationship with parents, couldn't work or go to school, ect). I was on anti-depressants /anti-anxiety /anti-psychotic/ sleeping aid medication during puberty and after. In 2016, after a decade of suffering, and realizing the two constants in my life have been meds and suffering, I started questioning the mental health system and what I have been told, and fed. 3 years later, here I am, almost off of my 10-year-long relationship with Cipralex(SSRI) (from ten years of 40mg to now, 5mg). I was lucky enough to find somebody online who is incredibly experienced and knowledgable about weening off of meds, and who has helped me taper safely. I am also very lucky to have parents who would do anything for me and support my journey and healing in every way possible. Since then I have been reducing my dosages every few months very slowly with little withdrawal symptoms, and it has been going really well. I started feeling hope that I never thought would be possible. Up until now. A couple of months ago, I dropped my dosage of Cipralex from 5mg to 4mg and within two weeks started feeling waves of panic that I had not felt in years. One night, I felt the surge of panic, and eventually fell asleep after several hours of struggling. I woke up the next day and I was still in panic. The following 3 or 4 days I was stuck in this panic. There are no words to describe how horrific it feels to be trapped in what I thought could only last an hour maximum. (Disclaimer: I have a deep fear of "going insane". At this point, when I speak of "insanity", I am describing the experience of being pulled away from the normal reality I am ''used'' to. But, if there wasn't a sense of complete terror, I probably would mind it less. Stuck in terror is now how I define my understanding of "insanity".) It has been several months now (3 or 4) that I am experiencing the most horrific episodes of complete terror. The feeling of a nightmare doubled down under the weight of the realization that this is as real as it gets, there is no waking up from this horror, there is no waking up in relief. This is it. It's similar to in a nightmare, I feel the presence of something evil, I'm afraid to look over my shoulder, I'm afraid I'll see it, I am completely on edge. "Derealization" and "depersonalization" happening heavily. How I feel in a storm of terror, my entire understanding of reality is Doom. Something right behind me, the imminent danger, something horribly, horribly dangerous is here. Right here. And something terrible, catastrophic, EVIL, is going to happen, is happening and will get worse. I am going to snap. My personal hell tailored to my exact dread and fears. It is not like a normal sense of panic, or dread. I have had countless panic attacks previously. This... every single fibre of my being is shrieking in terror. There is not a crack of light. The whole entire game is different. My body is spiking with the threat of death, evil, “insanity”. My mind is trapped. I am trapped. It feels like there is a pressure on the back of my head but from the inside, something urging to get out, to escape. Screaming, desperate, shocked. Nightmares end in relief. There is no end to this, there is no waking up in relief. Death is part of the terror, so I cannot end my life. My brain, my mind, my spirit, in danger, threatened by Imminent Doom. Trapped. Panic. Unreal panic. Inconceivable panic. Fire in my stomach. Then ice. Then fire. Dizzy from panic. It feels like I am being sucked away into Hell. My inner voice fades. Vision unable to coordinate with mind, I am sinking into my skull, into darkness. Reality is not safe. No where to hide. NO WHERE TO HIDE. My body cannot handle such terror so it trembles uncontrollably. Knees knocking together. I could release all bodily fluids from how terrified I am. Gagging, I sometimes puke. I can't look at my mom or dad without being sent further into torture, they seem wildly unfamiliar and really, really distant. They cant help. Nobody can save me. Praying to God, any God. My hands gripping my clothing, pulling. Jaw locked, clenching. Can't close my eyes. Can't keep them open. No options. My mind, my Being, terror ripping through Everything. All of this is not accounting for when I wake up from sleep in Terror. In that, my attachment to my 24 years of life, my identity, my name and hands and vision, my beliefs, my parents, my entire concept of what it is to be Me, my inner self and outer self, is unretrievable. The fear has no way of being calmed, effort cannot even be made, my thoughts are out of order, completely, there is a chaotic sense of disorder. Part of me wonders if I am going 'insane', or if my fate is to end up in a state of constant panic. I have a newfound perspective on my own mortality, on the fragility of my own grip on 'reality'. I don't know how to deal with these 'attacks' and something tells me I will live the rest of my life in the shadow of this clear sense of doom. It feels like I am living in a nightmare, surreal yet painfully real. I have some little windows of hope and a sense of being ''grounded''. Sometimes a few days where I am Okay. This is what I hold onto, or try to hold onto, desperately when I start feeling the terror. But when I'm really IN the state of panic, there really is nothing I can do. I feel so alone in this experience. I am currently living back with my parents (I was living on my own for a couple of years). I am back on 5mg, and don't plan to continue tapering, not for a while. Thank you for reading. I am so TERRIFIED.
  7. Hi there, So I have been tapering off citlopram after taking 20mg every other day for 5 years. Just to note I have felt great in that time and thought my time on it has been successful. In 12mths I managed to successfully get down to 0.25mgs. After 4 weeks I noticed when I got to that dose a lot crazy physical symptoms started occurring tight chest, body tremors, nausea obvs the withdrawal symptoms. I tried to see if i could beat it but unfortunately I wasn’t strong enough. I remember it got to the worst physical symptoms stage after 6 weeks and I sat down and cried with my GF and I said I can’t do it anymore and that when one evening I reinstated 0.5mg and couldn’t believe it with in 2hrs all symptoms were gone 80% (just like a heroin addict getting their next hit after cold turkey). So my issue is now is it’s been about 4 weeks In that time the first week I felt 80% good then 8th day I notice i have my old symptoms back anxiety tight chest and start panicking so I start taking 5mgs every day rather then every other and it works ok for another week then I feel really anxious again so I take 10mg 2 days straight. Yes I know way to much and I paid the price my CNS was all over the place for 2 days. Now I am on 0.5 every day for past 4 days sleeping well but feeling on edge and anxiety is high can’t shake it off don’t want to go back to old symptoms when I started. My question is to anyone what dose is best? should go to my original every other day dose?? Or stick to every day? Finding it hard to experiment as don’t want to mess about with my CNS as it’s sensitive I have put it thro. thanks
  8. Hello. My story is somewhat strange and I could really use some help and advice. I have been on fluoxetine from age 25 to 38. I did try and taper off it twice during that time and it didn't turn out well. It was originally prescribed for anxiety by a PCP. Right away I noticed muscle spasms, tics and twitches, and brain zaps but doctor said this wasn't a big deal. It made me feel better to be on it, so I stayed on it. About 4 years ago I had a bad period of depression and suicidal thoughts while on this drug. It was very unlike me as I had never really been a depressed person, mainly an anxious person. I started drinking too much wine to cope. Then dose was raised from 20-40mg. Over the last few years I noticed I often felt "keyed up" and aggravated, which I thought was anxiety, but didn't really feel like regular anxiety. I had to do a lot of physical exercise to exhaust myself and relieve the feeling. Then I started having parathesia and muscle pain, which was diagnosed as fibromyalgia. Then I developed what seemed to be a movement disorder starting in 2018? Tremors, muscle weakness, coordination problems, and being shaky and wobbly all the time. I suspected the prozac and planned to get off of it. In June 2019 I had a vaccine reaction, was prescribed prednisone 20mg tablets for 3 days, and had a horrible reaction to it which sent me to ER with hallucinations and many other symptoms including worse tremors and balance issues and hyperarousal. I have been extremely ill ever since. After the prednisone episode, due to continuing symptoms I wanted off the prozac too, so was tapered over a month. I originally did ok until I hit the 1-2 month mark. The akathesia that started after prednisone (I'm not sure if that is what I have. I can hold still but feel jittery inside, shaky inside, with constant internal tremors all over) got worse, tremors inside and out are worse, brain zaps, fatigue, parkinsonism and possible dystonia in my hands, trouble walking, migraines, smaller pupils, nausea, etc. I feel like I am going through a horrible withdrawal, and I don't know what to do. I have been seeing neurologists to rule out diseases and have had MRI, emg, nerve conduction study, etc. (which have come back normal.) Have had extensive bloodwork. Doctors blame the drugs. Psychiatrist wanted to put me on Gabapentin but I have been holding off because I am worried about side effects and withdrawal from that as well. I have migraine and am very sensitive to prescriptions. The doctors I am seeing are at Mayo clinic and appts are a month or more apart. I feel like I am not getting the treatment I need. I am also having some neck and spine issues on top of this which could be causing some of the numbness, but MRI'S aren't showing anything that could cause all the coordination problems I am having. At this point I am having trouble walking and functioning. It is terrifying. I am extremely stiff. Everything cramps up when I try to do things. Especially if I tense up even a little. I am extremely hyperaroused. Everything bothers me, sounds, lights, etc. I have no stress tolerance, no cold tolerance. I am fatigued and jittery at the same time. I have insomnia, poor appetite and I keep losing weight. I hurt all over. I am tingly all over. I have blurred vision (had eyes checked too). My hands and arms feel disconnected from my body. The tremors just keep getting worse. So... I do not know what to do here. The withdrawal is horrible. The tremors are getting worse in my face, tongue, eyes and neck. I am worried what they will progress to. I am scared to go back on prozac, but what else can I do? If I go back on, how much do I start with? Worried this is just going to keep getting worse, but since the prozac was probably causing or exacerbating a movement disorder, should I go back on? Also, doctors don't seem to know what to do with me and I'm worried about taking the wrong treatment. Should I stay off prozac and take the Gabapentin? Thank you for reading this and for any help you can give. I am only 38, with a young son. I am going through hell and very scared.
  9. Restabilised after going bk on and sticking on 5mg. Been feeling good for 7 days but after the last 2 days started to have insomnia and panic attacks late at nights.?? Trying to work out why.. is it normal to have set backs? Had a single beer one night? i am trying to cut 10mg pill to 5mgs pretty accurate but anyone got any other ways to to cut small pills? any tips about what’s going on thanks (you can read my whole story on my page) thnaks
  10. Hi, Was on citlopram for 5 years taking every other day and decided to taper off through out 12 months due to it being a success. I got to 0.25 and was taking it every other day then after 4 weeks noticed severe tight chest and tremors anxiety ect so one eve I went bk on 0.5 and within 2hours felt fine. Through out the last 4 weeks I have been up and down some days ok and others really anxious and bad. I feel my old symptoms returning. I have tried upping my dose to 10mg every day week ago and that really didn’t work felt really bad for the time I took it so I stuck to 0.5mg every day but still feel really poor. it’s week 4 and last 2 days days it’s been hell started to have bad chest pain and stomach cramps, tremors like similar to withdrawal symptoms!? so my questions are why am I having these up and down days after I reinstated? should I stick to my usual every other day dose of 0.5mg or take it everyday? feel like I am getting worse help.
  11. Hi there, I am glad that I found this forum and as I am at a very desperate state in my life right now - I am glad that I can find some people relating to my topic. I have first been prescribed Cipralex 5 mg about 10 years ago, when I was 20. I changed from high school to university and started having panic attacks from time to time and a very weird way of feeling myself (like being in a vacuum). Looking back, it was not THAT horrific but a general practitioner prescribed it to me after having a 10 minute-chat with me. I didn´t have any idea what antidepressants were back then - also he did not tell me anything about it. So I took it. I must say that - whether it was placebo or not - it helped. So I got off them (5mg, very small dose). 2 years later I had a similar phase, already working at an agency where I experienced panic attacks and felt very anxious in general. So I thought to myself: Hey that stuff worked the first time - I´ll take that again. I don´t really know if it did anything for me this time because I also quit my job and took a long vacation - I guess that would have done it as well. After maybe a little less than a year I quit again - this time it seemed harder. I always tapered - even with this little dosage. When I quit- the first time in my life ever, I had sort of depressive phases. But it went away. Then again some years later I had a very stressfull time in my life and a trigger-event that got me really freaked out and depression kicked in ...this time I did not want to start medication again but I could not see another way. thankfully shortly after I found my coaching technique that reeeallyyy helped a lot, did some family constellations and really started to understand the whole reason WHY I was dealing with all those problems. I understand now and I don´t feel crazy anymore for having experienced what I have experienced. But okay. So at the maximum I took 10 mg of Cipralex ( i always refused the neurologists wish of taking more and more) because I did not feel that the antidepressants helped. While taking 10 mg I still had very depressive phases, so I thought: Okay, if I take more, will it get better or will I just be damaging my body more and more? I continued working with my coach, working on myself, getting to know myseld and really digging into the hurtful past and reasons. This helped A LOT and was the only reason I felt better. So soon I reduced again to 5mg ( in steps) Eeeevery time I reduced my dose I got a depressive phase following, about 3 weeks later that would last around a month. Including sweating a lot, feeling like having a feaver, being depressed,feeling anxious, feeling like I can´t go to training, feeling weak, etc. but I always got better again. So I did this really slowly..always allowing my body to adjust to the next step. In late August (2015) i took my last „powder 0,000xx mg“ and boom...after 3 weeks I started feeling HORRIBLE. ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE! I had troubles I never had before (or still have) lik e being totally paranoid, feeling completely deprersonalzed, having terrible brainfog, headaches, ...all that in addition to having all the old **** I am used to when having a down. So for 2 months I felt horrible, then it got a lot better for month, now it is completely terrible again since mid-december. I AM GOING CRAZY! I am very well informed and very convinced that all that is due to withdrawl and that my brain needs time to adjust but OH MY GOD how can one stand this horrible times?I feel so terribly weak! All the time I have to push myself really hard: To get out of bed, to talk to friends, to go outside, to go to work, ...everything is a huge struggle...it is sooooo exhausting. Luckily I do have all the support I could wish for from friends and family and boyfriend! I am very thankful for that! But still I feel alone with all this war inside of me because I feel like they don´t know what I am going through. If I feel really bad for two weeks and then have a window – okay, at least you get a break. But feeling that awful for over a month is draining all my energy. How do you cope? How do you get through this? What do you do when you sit alone at home, feel to weak and terrible to call someone..how do you drag yourself out of this? Ps.: Sorry if my English is not that good:)
  12. Cloudskishawna

    Cloudskishawna: 5 weeks on Remeron / mirtazapine

    Something weird happened last night I think it was maybe 3 in the morning wasn't able to sleep but I know why that happened I had drunk some caffeine maybe around 1 pm big mistake So I go use the restroom going back to bed and then on my way my nose just starts leaking blood scary but I didn't panic or nothing just got some tissues but I have been having this heartburn issue now it's irritating me is there anything I can take to help that out.so since I wasn't able to sleep i just go to the store and get some more yogi bedtime tea which has been helping me tremendously once i got back it was 4 am so I just made some tea got in bed maybe around 5 and now woken up at 11 AM so Yeah no more caffeine for me
  13. Hello Everyone, This is for Fresh, who has coerced me in to finally starting my own forum thread which I will add to over time. Please pull up a chair, sit down and may be get a hot drink and let me begin. History In a galaxy.. far far away.... oh no that's not it. Ah this is it....... I was holidaying in Italy and got a bit too much sun one day, which meant that I got a pretty servere case of heat / sun stroke. I was unable to sleep for days on end as the slightest noise would jar me awake. I was also unable to eat properly at this time and had a bad stomach, which I believe was all brought on by the sun episode. I remember having a feeling that there was a black cloud above my right eye all of the time. I started to get depressed and felt myself getting lower and lower. Until one morning a few days after the incident, I had an ice cold shower. This bought on my first ever panic attack. I first had a feeling of buzzing in my head and then my muscles in my legs and hands started to contract. I now know this is caused by hyperventilation. An ambulance was called and I was taken to the ER in an Italian hospital where I was given Valium to calm me down. When I came round the black cloud had disappeared. (never to return.... well at least thus far). I was sent home and told to take liquid Valium twice a day for 3 further days. My holiday was coming to an end and this would see me through until I was on the flight home. I slept like a baby and felt wonderful when awake. I thought the whole episode was over, but little did I know that the big change in my life was just starting. I came home and was fine for 24 hours. I went to the cinema to watch the movie "Twister" and it was whilst the film was at one of it's high tension moments that I experienced my second panic attack, it was nowhere near as bad as my first but it affected me for the next couple of days as once again I lost my appetite. I started a new job and this put me in to another tailspin, and it seemed as though panic and anxiety ruled my life for the next 8 months or so. I was put on a short course of betablockers, but they didn't do anything. I can't remember the name of that particular medicine. I finally saw a GP and was diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression, I can honestly say that other than the depressive episode whilst on holiday I have never felt depressed in my life. Yes I have had blue days but never what I now think as depression. I was prescribed Seroxat 10mg once a day. Which I started to take in the morning. Early issues involved initial panic attack when first staring the meds and then suicidal ideation which I had never experienced before. I was concerned and spoke to a GP who then prescribed Diazepan to help me "get on to the drug", a strange phrase and if I'd realised at that time what these things were doing then I would have stopped taking them. It took approximately 2 - 4 weeks for me to start to feel relief and during this time I felt the meds entering every organ in my body or at least that's what I swear I felt. I even got in to a stage where I felt myself rocking back and forth but this only lasted a day or so. Anyway after 4 weeks I was better and over the course of a few months I started to feel "normal" (whatever that may be). I stayed on the meds for a few years before attempting to wean / taper myself off, but this was very shortlived as the symptoms soon appeared. Of course the GP said.... "that the original condition was coming back" and "you need to go back on the meds". So like a good patient always does, they follow the doctors orders, because after all, they know what is right for you, right? So I think I was on Seroxat for approximately 4 years and then started to experience what I now know as "poop-out", where the meds stopped working. So my GP moved me over to Escitalopram as it was a "easier" medication to contend with and would stop me feeling the SI's. Yes this was one of the side effects once the Seroxat had stopped working. To be continued..... Namaste. DC.
  14. Hello, my name is Danielle. I am new to this site, but have been reading it for quite some time now. My parents put me on effexor xr when I was 6 years old for severe anxiety and childhood phobias. It worked great for years. I had very little side effects and life was hunky dory. I am now 24 years old and the medication is no longer working. I stupidly tried to come off of the Effexor over the coarse of 3 months under directions from my psychiatrist. Obviously, I crashed and I have been desperately trying to get my life back for the last 10 months. During those months, I was under the impression that I was ‘very ill’ and a ‘special case’ based on the severity of my symptoms, but now I am realizing what has happened to me is not my original illness resurfacing, but the effects of the discontinuation of the medication. I’m an RN and have been out of work for the last 6 months. I have read stories on here of people eventually recovering from ssri and snri withdrawl, but was wondering if anyone has any experience or knows of anyone who was prescribed one of these drugs as a child. Is there hope for me or will I have to live with the consequences of my parents decision for the rest of my life? Will these dehabilitating symptoms ever go away or are my receptors f***ed for life?
  15. Hi everyone, I’ve just come across this website and sounds like there is some great forums and support. So hoping for some guidance and assurance! So I’ve taken 100mg of Sertraline for approximately 10yrs. Initially prescribed for post natal depression and anxiety. While on medication I experienced a traumatic incident, therefore medication was increased to support with the depression and PTSD. I’ve attempted to taper off Sertraline before, without success. I had recently forgot to collect my prescription and after around 3 days of no medication. I thought it could be an opportunity to cold turkey from the medication. I am now on day 7 and having the worst withdrawal symptoms ever! Feeling tired, headaches, brain zaps, feeling so irritable! I’m awful to be around! And so emotional, just breaking down and sobbing. I feel helpless and and so low. I’m being irrational and not being thinking straight at all. Now I suppose my query is, has anyone else experienced this, how long for, is it worth trying to hang in there? How long does this awful feeling last? I’m a senior manager at work and need to be focused, I can’t take time out either, it’s a new promotion. Any support or advice you can give would be greatly appreciated! Thank you everyone 😊
  16. Hi new to the group I’m Day 6 off Lexapro after weaning off for 6 weeks from 20mg 15mg 10mg and then 5mg. I’m having bad side effects brain zaps constantly. Anxiety and heart palpitations and so emotional and teary. I’ve started taking omega supplements and b12 and completely cut caffeine and alcohol out. I know I’m early in but would really love any tips or encouragement on how to get through. 🙏
  17. Hello guys, I'm Giuseppe from Italy. I've stumbled upon your website when looking for some help with the withdrwal sindrome that I'm experiencing in this period. I've finished tapering the Citalopram last week and now I feel some side effects (mostly dizziness). Just wonder if somebody is experiencing the same and how he/she is coping with that. Thanks to anybody who would like to give me some advices. best to all, Giuseppe
  18. Hi everyone, I had a manic episode which was induced by bad mistakes involving alcohol and cocaine. I was still drug when I was sectioned and given a cocktail of pills. I was going through a really testing stage in my life where I had discovered my partner might have been cheating on me. This lead me down spiral path which and I stupidly took coke and alcohol. It was the first and last time ever. By making this horrible mistake I ended up doing a weekend in the mental health ward. Upon release i was prescribed respiridone which i stopped after two weeks as i got an allergic reaction in the form of a rash. Rather than realising my manic episode was a one off (I've never had them in my life before and was otherwise healthy) I was thrown in to the dark murky waters of psychiatry. In hind sight I wished I had been more vigilant as to what they were saying and prescribing. The mental health ward made me believe i was bipolar even though my episode had been drug and drink induced and led me to believe i had no choice in the matter but to take the medicines they suggested. As i wasnt sleeping well, this was used against me and i was prescribed 10mg olamzapine to be taken at 2.5mg at 9am, 2.5mg 3pm, and 5mg at 7pm. At first it felt great being able to sleep so much as I had always been a light sleeper and didnt question the effects this drug would have on me. So I took them for 5 months but ended up reducing the dosage to 7.5mg as I was feeling so tired and groggy through out the day which was starting to effect my duties around the house and my own self care. My psychiatrist was a horrible, condescending and argumentative woman who kept saying i had a mental illness and likely needed olamzapine for up to 2 years or for life. I questioned their diagnosis several times as i know my own bad choices prior had led me to having my break down. They were uninterested in any opinion or my thoughts and kept writing me off. After 5 months on olamzapine my periods stopped, and this worried me but again i was told olamzapine doesnt have this effect. I also developed dry eyes or bleptharitus. Previously to taking this med i had never had these issues. Each time I addressed my concerns they were dismissed and i was put in a position where my psychiatrist even said 'i have a medical degree, i know what im talking about and you lack this'. I was shocked, she was so cold hearted and made me feel stupid for raising my concerns. I decided that i didnt need these meds interferring in my body any longer and quit them cold turkey at 7.5mg. For 3 weeks i suffered from insomnia and even after i told the community nurse i had stopped them i wasnt given any information that this could be dangerous or have lasting effects. All they kept asking was if i was having racing thoughts. I'd never had racing thoughts prior to my melt down, they were only interested in that because apparently if i was it was a return of mental health symptoms? Not one bit of advice was given on what to expect from stopping the med or that the insomnia was part of withdrawl. After 3/4 weeks of insomnia which was causing me to feel severely low i started olamzapine again but at 5mg at night. It took my nearest and dearest to recognise since i went on these meds i had changed dramatically. All the zest for life was gone, i was a walking zombie and often in bed by 8pm. I avoided any social gatherings, didnt enjoy tv or reading any more. These meds were destroying my outlook on life. So after 3 weeks off 5mg i attempted again to stop. Again i informed the psychiatrist who had also made me try lamotragine & zopiclone during these months. She seemed to throw a pill at any issues i raised whilst i was on olamzapine. Anyway and she had a look of amusement on her face and said fine try it. Again i wasnt told i would need to taper or that there would be any withdrawl effects. I ended up with severe muscular pain in my arms and legs, i would get pins and needles when resting flat on my back, i couldnt eat, i constantly felt sick and had extreme anxiety where every few days i thought i was going to die or that i had numerous of illnesses as i never knew it could be the withdrawl from olamzapine. I ended up in hospital twice for the anxiety and the paramedics just thought i was faking my symptoms because of the medical diagnosis that i was mentally unwell. I was treated like dirt once they saw that on my file. I was told my symptoms above were mental health issues which i disputed heavily. I wasnt showering, eating, sleeping, in constant pain. This took an effect on my mental health and i started feeling so angry towards the mental health team who had been so quick to get me on their choice of poison. I felt suicidal several times, begged for God to take me as i couldnt live this way and become a social recluse compared to the great life i had before. Sitting at my daughters friends birthday party i felt so depleted and jealous of everyone enjoying their lives. I even said to my partner to divorce me and find a new wife as i didnt think i was going to survive. Then he said 'youve come off these meds to fast you need to reduce them first'. In the 6/7 months on these my mind had become so foggy and the trust i had put in to the health care system that i didnt research any of the drugs they prescribed. Had i done that first i wouldnt have felt this awful way which can only be described to a living hell. After this epiphany i started researching online, i think ive read every story, article, journal, forums to do with olamzapine and realised i wasnt alone in this struggle. I self educated myself and realised doing the cold turkey reduction had bought on the severe withdrawl effects. I spent hours reading about tapering methods, other peoples stories and when i confronted my psychiatrist she denied all of the many hundreds or thousands of people going through withdrawl. It was the last time i spoke to her as the debate became so heated as she kept speaking over me. I had patiently put up with her demoralizing character for months and lost all trust and respect for psychiatry. The nurse was just as brain washed and seemed clueless and tapering and gave me the advice to stay on 5mg for 9 days, then 2.5mg for 9 days then to stop. I felt like i had to educate her as she really didnt have knowledge or empathy regarding the situation. I followed her NHS advice, once i got to 2.5mg i cut the tablets in half and took this for 9 days. After that i quatered them and took them for another 9 days. The pills are difficult to cut so its hard to have an accurate measurement of my last week on olamzapine. In the drop down in dosages to half and quater a pill i started getting really bad anxiety. I had never suffered anxiety in my life. I felt like i couldnt breath, i was waking up abruptly in fight or flight mode at 6am every morning. The first week off i felt like a walking disaster. Any little situation made my anxiety heightened. Knowing the research id done i was mentally more prepared the third time to encounter these situations. I just wanted time to pass as quickly as possible to get my old brain and body back. My appetite became so poor i was often just eating a few nuts a day as i felt sick and weak. After a week off the olamzapine the induced anxiety became so much i made a docs appointment with my regular GP who didnt judge me when i told him openly and honestly about my stupid mistake on drugs and drink and he believed it was withdrawl effects. He was reluctant to prescribe anything for sleep as he didnt want me facing another problem and gave me propanalol, a beta blocker which slows the heart rate down. He said i could take these as when required for the anxiety and that they didnt work on the brain the way antipsychotic do. I took 3 at 10mg over the space of a few days in the morning when i felt awful and couldnt shake the anxiety off. They made me feel weird. So ive decided not to take them anymore. I quit all sugary foods, drinks and started taking magnesium, vit d, hemp oil capsules and smoking cbd. My withdrawl this time isnt as bad as it was the first two times. Ive been trying to eat as healthy as possible, taking walks with my daughter and to be patient with the process. I understand it can take time to recover. By cutting out the rubbish food i have felt a difference, my sleep is getting better but it takes time. Going to try detox salt baths and i also started drinking hot water, lemon and honey first thing in the morning which calms my anxiety. Its day 11 off the olamzapine and even though my head and heart has been tested i wont let this bad episode in my life dictate me any further. Some days are so challenging, my house which used to be pristine is a mess. I dont have the drive to do the things i used to in life. But i am now aware these things will heal and with the support of my family and a cleaner diet i will heal.
  19. This is the second time I have tried to reduce my reliance on citalopram and I have sought more help this time. I am also a recovering alcoholic with 23 years sobriety and drugs and withdtawls are the bane of my life. Over the last 2months I have tapered from 30mg down to 10 mg a day. Doing 20 one day and 10 the next seemed to be ok, but been on 10mg for 5 days and the symptoms have got worse, headaches and light heads seem the norm now and i would appreciate any feedback on reducing further or taking a slightly higher dose. I also take BP controlling tablets.
  20. Twenty years ago this fall, I started taking paxil. I was also prescribed clonazapam, and used that for a while: years. But paxil has been my darling. There every day for me in its pink pantsuit, waiting with its special odor and taste "the pink pill" after 20years, is now "the red pill". Much more awake, married (stable), two kids, I don't want to mess a good thing up (stable). And yet (stable), I would like to know of my dear brain's inherent capacity (stable) and its elasticity. I wonder (stable) of who I am now. I am no longer the 25 year old "kid" who was looking for a way to cope with the life she had created. I've learned to more than cope. I've learned to thrive. Is paxil (stable) part of that? If we part ways (stable), will I be me?
  21. Rayh

    Rayh

    Hello! I have been on Cymbalta for several years now, was taking 50mg daily. over the last 6 months, with my doctors help, I’ve weaned down to the lowest dosage, which is 20mg capsule. looking to hear how others have gotten off this horrible medication. Thanks in advance!
  22. Hi there, these are some of the details, and I promise it has a good ending: I have a prolactinoma (period stopped, hormones were off) so the endocrinologist gave me bromocriptine to shrink the tumor so I could get the period back and get pregnant. I took it for about 10 months and he said once I got pregnant to just go cold turkey with the meds. So I did and experienced a very mild withdrawl (though I didn't know that's what it was at the time) and about a year and a half after I gave birth I had my gall bladder removed. Gall bladders have a lot to do with breaking down things you ingest. Well, I took one pill, one tiny little bromocriptine pill because the doctor said I should just take bromocriptine forever, and I think it was the fact that I no longer had a gall bladder or that I had had a previous reaction to an SSRI, but I here are the details: Reaction/Withdrawl to Zoloft (sertraline) July 2016 was onset - palpitations, sinus issues, constant panic, paranoia, vertigo, fatigue, the shocks in the head - lasted full-strength for about 6 weeks and then started to calm down slowly - 3 month after onset I was kind of emotionally and psychologically tired but the symptoms were gone and I was able to drink alcohol and coffee again Reaction/Withdrawl to Bromocriptine (dopamine agonist) January 2017 was onset - sinus issues, constant panic, paranoia, vertigo, fatigue, depersonalizationm, extreme tinitus, loss of concentration, burning scalp, major brain fog - these symptoms all lasted full force for about 6 months. Then it began to get better and slowly got better for about a year and a bit. Then finally, at about 20 months after onset the horrific brain fog finally went away - exactly 2 years after onset I still have tinitus now and then and I have some residual anxiety-related issues, as well as PTSD from the whole situation, but I can enjoy my life again. I still can't drink more than a glass of wine with dinner, or have any caffeine, but I'm myself again. I came back on here because I want all of you to know that it's a waiting game. I'll admit there were a couple of months during the cold, harsh, dark Canadian winter (at 12 months after onset) where I wondered whether I had it in me to keep fighting, but I did keep fighting, and it got better. I can look at the sun again, feel sunshine and like it, I can feel happiness without really focusing on trying to feel it, the horrible brain fog and insomnia that plagued my life are basically gone. I can drive around again. If I lose sleep, it's no big deal. I can only describe those 2 years, the worst 2 years of my life, as the feeling of all of the bad things that have ever happened to me, but instead of them happening over 30-something years, being multiplied by 2 and rolled into 2 years. But it gets better. Things I did to help me cope: - I got as much fresh air as I could - I went out and did stuff even if it hurt. Now, I can't remember the pain of it all, but I do have nice memories of things I did with people. Nearly drove me insane but I did it - guzzled night time tea every two hours to keep the panic down - along with the tea took Holy Basil caps - along with those took L-Theanine tablets, those were amazing. I used to down them like mentos. Truly helpful. - when the night-time tea started making me feel bad I switched to Chamomille - got as much excersize as I could; you have to sweat - read success stories; you have to keep your hope alive - stay active; the withdrawl is going to be there no matter what you do Something that helped me a lot was that I wrote a novel. I got some serious flow out of that, so my suggestion is to find something you love that is work but is also enjoyable, because at some point you're going to crawl out of the haze and I can tell you that it feels good to have something to show for all the pain you went through. It will feel like a lifetime will go by before you are through this, but you will get through it, and it will feel amazing. All the posts that talked about bromocriptine withdrawl said it was 2 years from onset to full recovery, and that has been the case with me too. Not 100% recovered yet, at 24 months, but pretty dang close. So, if that's what you took, then yah, at 20/21 months I was feeling like it was never going to end but then all of a sudden the fog finally lifted and I could experience happiness the way I used to and it was an incredible feeling. I even went to a concert and was totally fine with the noise. Anyways, all the best to any readers out there, and don't lose hope.
  23. I was referred here by my therapist after voicing concerns when my general physician put my on venflaxine, the generic for effexor, about a month ago because of my anxiety. Due to my history with SSRIs (below), she wanted to put me on something different, and put me on this SNRI, and the effect was almost immediate. I am on cloud nine every day, have become more extroverted, more confident, happy about everything, full of love and excitement for the world. Honestly its was wonderful, it was like a weight was lifted from me, and suddenly I was free of the anxiety and depression that had been weighing me down for years. I am 21 years old, and I have been dealing with terrible mental health symptoms since I was 14, so having this relief felt like Heaven. But it isn't real. Its unsustainable. And I understand now that coming down from cloud nine is going to feel like Hell. I am on 37.5 mg two times a day, and one day I missed a dose, as happens sometimes, and everything became dark. There was no happiness in anything. Everything was terrible. The weirdest was that was like someone had stuffed cotton balls in my head, even for three days after I continued doses as normal. I was cautious starting this antidepressent, because I have had a bad history with them, and I hate the idea of becoming dependent on a drug. In the fall of 2017 a psychiatrist (who I no longer see after it was revealed he liked to experiment on his patients) started me on lexapro, and after about a month of really bad symptoms he weaned me off and got me on paroxitene. I never finished my perscription, and must have just quit taking them (don't really remember), but I remember having terrible paranoia/anxiety/weight gain while taking the drug. Now with venflaxine, I don't know why I started, but I want off before its too late. I am terrified. I am terrified of throwing myself back into the anxiety and depression that has plagued me for years, but I know I deserve to get better without this drug making me high. I am terrified of the withdrawal effects, because after missing a dose I am thrown off and basically out of commission (paranoid, cotton ball in head feeling, nothing seems to make sense) for days, and I am currently in school studying engineering, which requires I be on top of things every day. I don't know what to do, or how to escape this drug. I need advice. I am scared, because this drug has shifted my entire reality, and I know that shifting things back is going to be horrible. I need advice. How do I get myself off this drug, without completely sabotaging my life, before it is too late?
  24. HI all, I am currently on day 11 of no zoloft. I was pretty much on zoloft since I turned 16 ( 20 years), I went on it for depression but I believe it created me to have anxiety. I have seen many psychiatrist and my GP and no one ever asked why I am on it still. It was not until I started doing some research of my own the last few weeks because I have been increasing tired and my memory is so bad. I found that the zoloft can cause memory loss and anxiety. Since being off zoloft I have noticed a huge increase in energy along with my anixety decreasing. Up until yesterday, I had little side effects. Starting yesterday (day 10 of no zoloft) I have the WORST headache that will not go away. I have tried ibuprofen, claritin, excedrin, magnesium fizz. Anyone else have a similar story? If so, when will these headaches stop??? OR can you suggest something that will help?
  25. I have spent the last week in bed reading this site over and over, combing through the words, looking for some sign of hope. In 1997 I was placed on Paxil 20mg after a traumatic event; I was 16 at the time. At the time my parents were told I could come off anytime, no risk of anything. As soon as I was put on, I started experiencing very intense side effects but I was also in the throws of severe PTSD with constant panic attacks, insomnia, terror... So it was hard to say which was which. I remained on the Paxil until 2009. In 2009, I decided I wanted to go off. I never thought to google or look online, I just asked my OBGYN. She said that it's best to go slow, and gave me liquid paxil. She said to go down 5mg a month. I wish I could recall the details of how I tapered down between 20 and 8 but I honestly cannot. All I know is that I never had any side effects at all. Sometimes I would have brain zaps, and weird dreams that started just as I dozed off, but for the most part I was A-OK. NO other side effects at all and the ones I did have only lasted a few days at most. Fast forward to this year. After being on 8mg for years, I decided I wanted to try coming off because I was feeling chubby (if I'm being honest). Let me also state that this last year has been, without a doubt the most stressful time of my entire life. We moved, started new jobs, I was sexually harassed at work, I ended up working 3 jobs, nonstop SNS in overdrive. I say this, because I'm honestly not sure if what I am experiencing is Paxil related so I want to give the full details and story here. On February 3rd 2018 I took my liquid Paxil dose from 8mg - 7.5mg. Again, I had never googled this, I just kind of made it up in my head. I didn't know there was anything to even google because other than my OBGYN saying briefly to go down slow, I didn't even know withdrawal was a thing. Everything was great. ZERO side effects. However, in my life, everything fell apart. My 8 year old daughter get very, very ill, I had to quit one of my jobs due to extreme stress and abuse from a man, and money troubles were up. I was truly in a state of full blown stress - even more hormones were a mess. But still, I was going going going because I just don't know when to quit I suppose. Then, on March 5th, I went to bed and couldn't sleep. Each time I would lay down, I'd get a HUGE surge of adrenaline through my entire body. I'd drift to sleep but be woken by these intense jolts that would leave me throwing up. The first night I was afraid, but I was OK. But then when this happened again the second night, and 3rd night, I began to develop second fears and began to become terrified that something was wrong with me. I went straight to the doctor and begged her to help me. She said my chronic stress had caused me SNS to go into extreme haywire and told me to take Xanax to sleep. That night I took the xanax (I think it was .5) and it didn't help me sleep. Instead I just laid there terrified that I wasn't sleeping. At this point, the ONLY thing I was experiencing was insomnia and anxiety related to the insomnia because I am terrified of not sleeping since I was a little girl. I went to my doctor again, and she said it was just the extreme stress from the year and asked me about my Paxil. I told her I was on 7.5 and she said to go to 14mg. I have since read the incredibly informative post about how this is a horrible idea, but again, I had no reason to even suspect anything at all is wrong with Paxil or with the doctor. None. I went home and took the 14mg liquid Paxil on March 28th. On April 2nd I felt great. April 3rd- 9th I was back to my old self 100%, sleeping nonstop, going about my life. I was still a bit worried by the lack of sleep that happened, but tried not to think about it. And then BOOM two days before my period on April 10th, (sorry if TMI) the insomnia came roaring back - same with the adrenaline surges. I have not been able to sleep more than 1 hour at a time since, and when I do sleep I'm not really sleeping. It's like a half awake thing with adrenaline flashes constantly going off in my body. I'm exhausted. Beyond. I thought it was just my hormones going bananas due to the stress. I called a hormone doctor and she said it sounded just like peri-menopause and to come right in. I went two days ago and she said my hormones were crazy and these symptoms sounded like they were hormonal. But something wasn't right. It wasn't just the insomnia anymore - although I'm wondering if the insomnia is what is causing all of my other symptoms. Possible severe Adrenal Fatigue? Nervous breakdown? PTSD with my SNS stuck on? When I read the list of symptoms of Paxil withdrawal every single one fits - but those same symptoms are in line with SNS response from PTSD as well. Sounds, smells, dizzy, insomnia, burning skin, numb hands and feet, severe depersonalization, OCD obsession with looking up symptoms and possible causes all day every single day... I'm coming to you with my heart broken. I miss my beautiful children. I miss my life. I miss my husband and our family. I wish I could go back in time and figure out where I went wrong. Do you think it is possible that going from 8-7.5 on February 3rd could suddenly cause insomnia on March 5th? Even though it was such a tiny decrease and I'd never had any symptoms of withdrawal before? Also, I *know* I made a HUGE mistake taking the Paxil 14mg on March 28th. I hadn't slept since March 4th and I promise I had no clue this could even be bad. I thought Paxil was like a vitamin that fixed a deficiency I had. (Which I've since read on here, is not the truth). Will I eventually stabilize at 14mg? And then go down again from there? How long until I stabilize? If I go down on the 14mg at this point I'll just freak out my body even more, right? If this is adrenal fatigue or PTSD my SNS won't stabilize on the Paxil until those things are remedied? But this whole thing is causing even more PTSD. The nightmares and visions at night are the most horrifying things I have ever experienced. Night after night. Ugh. What do I do now? I SO respect and appreciate the moderators who give such careful and direct advice on here, and I am wondering how they would approach my situation Thank you. I know this is long. I just want to get it all on here to get the best advice for me and my little family. Thank you so much.
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