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  1. Hi, I have no psychiatic history. I was forced on zyprexa after an external stress reaction waking me up with high blood pressure and pounding heart beat, pressure feelings in the brain, need to urinate often and a fear of what was happening to me with these severe physical reactions. Having no idea I gussed maybe poison at first but with doctors finding nothing I thought perhaps sudden electrical allergy due to the new 5G test nets I read other people were worried about. I didn't know I was that stressed and that that could be the reaction. But that's what I think now. Being unable to sleep for 6 days and finally desperately trying to sleep outside of the city to avoid radiation I utltimately went to the psychiatric ward to get sleeping pills I got the diagnosis psychotic symptoms and they wouldnt let me out even though I felt okay again after first night off sleeping with medicine they gave. Initially they tried to force me on 20 mg zyprexa but agreed to 10 mg after a negotiation. There was also benzo and a sleeping pill they put me on but I have succesfully gotten off those. They wanted me to stay on 10 mg zyprexa when I was let out after two weeks and they said I should continue the medication till next appointment and they gave me 4 different other medicines to use if I felt I needed (benzos etc). I had gone from being a person having no medicine at home to one having the whole bread box filled. I never used any medicine but zyprexa though. On next appointment they said I should stay on zyprexa till next meeting again. But after a month they finally agreed to give me a tapering plan and I wanted as quickly as possible since I dont want to be on medicine in general since I used to be a healthy guy without. Also I really didnt think I was that sick, just had a long term stress reaction. They said it nothing bad with this medicine, just protective. I got the plan 2.5mg down every two weeks. During this time I read that the drug causes brain atrophy and was very scared of being on it and why the doctors had told me just the opposite. I followed the plan with biweekly check ups and finally I got to 0 mg, but sleep disappeared after two days. After two weeks of 0 mg with no sleep instead, anxiety, tremblings sweating, pressur in head, burning inflamed feeling etc I became more scared of what was happening to me then I was of taking another pill. I called psychiatric emergency and they said I had to go back up to 5 mg. That not working I tried 7.5mg and then 5mg with a sleeping pill too. But I still got no sleep. They said it was the underlying illness that was causing problems now. I said I slept 12 hours on 5 mg before going to 0 mg and they changed subject. Also I didnt think I had an illness just a stress reaction initially. Having searched for info myself the tapeing I got seems more like a cold turkey. Having been on 5mg for a while with sleeping pills that also didnt give sleep I weaned off the sleeping pills and also started weaning zyprexa, still scared of atrophy, but careful to go much more slowly having searched for my problems and read this forum some. Sleep wasn't returing so no point being on high doses I felt. Also my trust in their "health care" recommendations is not really 100% percent after this. Im not sure I've ever slept since december last year but Ive gotten less tired after getting up duing the days so by feel 0-4 (assumed) hours while also getting down to 0.12 mg zyprexa. Approximately 10 days ago I jumped to 0mg again (6 months past) and felt ok for four days, but the 5th day had diarrhea and spasms, burning sensations and only 1 hour sleep instead of lets say 3 that Im used to, 6th day also head ache increasing and 1 hour sleep. I called sick from work thought maybe it was covid. Being very scared to lose my sleep even more permanently I went back up to 0.12mg for two days in case it was withdrawal and last night 0.25 mg due to spasms and restelessness in bed, I almost called emergency psychiatric care but got 1 hour sleep finally with the dosage doubling. And now we're at today. I hope I can stay on 0.25 mg tonight and stabilize. What should I do? Im considering calling the pro's again but this forum has seemed to have better methods as far as I've read. What should one expect when dropping to 0mg even from a very low mg? Im thinking maybe I should never try 0 mg again and just stay at 0.25mg or so. I don't fear use of zyprexa so much at these low leves. Or if health allows some time from now taper to 0.06 mg (smallest plausible part for me) and do it every, then every other day, then every third? is this a viable super extended low end taper? Should I jump up to a higher mg now? Thanks for any support than I've already gotten from reading some here. Theses were my tapers just prior to going 0 the second time (4 mar 2020) 0.63 mg 21 day (25 mar 2020) 0.31 mg 16 day 0.41 mg 36 day (had to go up and stayed till I felt like maybe 0-4 hour sleep again) 0.31 mg 10 day (26 may 2020) 0.25 mg 12 day (7 june 2020) 0.12 mg 8 day Thanks
  2. Thank you all so much for all your hard work here! I am a 46 year old male. I was diagnosed with depression in 2005. I was prescribed Zoloft. A manic episode then ensued lasting about 6 months. I also developed insomnia and hyperhydrosis. I went to another doctor in 2006 who diagnosed me with Bipolar II. I was then preescribed Lamictal, Depakote and Effexor. I do not recall the dosages this far back, except the Lamictal (200mg) Around 2009 I began seeing another doctor after I moved. I remained on the Lamictal (200mg) discontinued the Effexor, and added Abilify (5mg). Around this time the insomnia worsened. I then was prescribed 2mg of Xanax and 25mg benadryl each evening for the insomnia. I was relatively stable (except for a string of toxic relationships) over the next several years and reduced the Abilify to 2.5mg. However the insomnia and hyperhydrosis still remained very problematic throughout this period. In an effort to find relief from the insomnia (At that time I believed that it was just a side effect of the Lamictal) I tapered myself (without a doctor) off of the Lamictal over a few months in 2017. I did not notice any withdrawal symptoms. However the insomnia persisted leading me to believe that the Abilify was also causing the insomnia. At this time I was taking 2.5mg of Abilify but only 2x per week, and still needed to take 2mg Xanax and 25mg benadryl. In 2018 I attempted to discontinue the Abilify and taper off the Xanax over a period of about 2-3 weeks. I suffered from moderate panic attacks and anxiety (presumably Xanax withdrawal symptoms) Those withdrawal symptoms dissipated. About 2 weeks after discontinuing the Abilify my sleep was restored to normal for the first time in nearly 13 years! However the hyperhydrosis persisted. Unfortunately I soon began to feel extremely unstable mentally and was forced to reinstate the 2.5mg of Abilify. The insomnia returned and I then started the 2mg of Xanax and 25mg of benadryl again. Throughout 2019 my insomnia seemed to progressively get worse. I did not want to take more Xanax so I went to another doctor who prescribed Olanzapine. I discontinued the Abilify and started taking 1.25mg of Olanzapine. At first I only needed 1mg of Xanax at night and discontinued the benadryl. Then after about only one month the insomnia progressively got worse. I reinstated 25mg of benadryl. Then had to increase to 1.5 mg of Xanax. I was getting really worried about the progressive insomnia so I decided to stop the Olanzapine (without a doctor) cold turkey and taper off the Xanax. This is when things started to get really scary. Symptoms of panic, anxiety and hypomania ensued after 3 or 4 days of withdrawal. And the insomnia was worse then it ever had been in my entire life! I was really getting scared. I reinstated 1mg of Xanax. Also increased to 50mg of benadryl and added 15mg of cbd oil orally for sleep. Also, It was around this time that I was doing research and discovered this website. After 10 days of being off the Olanzapine my sleep was still horrible. Dealing with withdrawal and almost no sleep suicidal ideations returned. I reinstated Olanzapine at 1.25mg. I have now been back on the Olanzapine for 3 weeks. My sleep has slightly improved. I am currently taking 1.25mg Olanzapine, 1mg Xanax, 25mg benadryl and 15mg cbd as needed when I awake in the middle of the night. I absolutely do not want to increase the Xanax. My desire is to safely taper off of all medications. The progressive nature of my insomnia on the antipsychotics has convinced me that remaining on them is unsustainable for the long term. Additionally the hyperhydrosis limits my ability to exercise. Strenuous daily exercise has proven to be one of the most effective ways to manage my mood. If I stand any chance of remaining stable without medication I must try to reverse both the insomnia and hyperhydrosis. Obviously I am sensitive to even the smallest doses of antipsychotics. From my research I am convinced the tapering strips from taperingstrip.org in the Netherlands is my best option for tapering off Olanzapine. Unfortunately I have not been able to find a doctor willing to order them. Can you recommend a doctor anywhere (preferably in the Western or Northwest United States who is cooperative with efforts to taper off antipsychotics?) I am a perpetual travel and have to ability to some extent to go to where the doctor is at. Thank you again for your help. Your work with this website may have already saved my sleep and even my life.
  3. Hello! Just discovered this forum recently. It has been an eye opener in how to get off psychiatric medications. Wish I knew about this in the beginning! I have been struggling with anxiety since I was young. Anxiety use to be nothing to me and as an anxious person, it kept me focused and in the moment. I always exercise and try to eat healthy. Im 35 years old. In the last few years, my anxiety has become different. I can say it also has been a stressful last few years with life changes and feeling more weight on my shoulder. One time during late 2016, I experienced what may have been an anxiety or panic attack (sweating, heart racing, racing thoughts, feeling impending doom, etc), then just feeling unusual and uncomfortable being in different places, waking up suddenly gasping for air with my heart racing, and head pressures everyday. I went to a doctor and everything was normal. She said to try zoloft. Im not someone that likes taking medication everyday. So I rejected her offer to try zoloft. Afterwards, I saw a psychiatrist and from what I told her, she diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. She wanted me on Klonopin and Lexapro. I also did not go through with the med recommendations. I thought with time and just keeping busy, these symptoms would go away. With time, I was sorta getting better. But I was still dealing with daily head pressures, waking up gasping for air, heart racing at night and being in places where there is alot of movement going on (big crowds). In 2018, I went to see a neurologist for the head pressures and anxiety. She prescribed me Elavil for two months. I thought that Elavil was not like the other medication types that were mentioned a year ago by my doctor and other psychiatrist. So I went ahead and tried Elavil at 10 mg everyday for two months. During those two months, I felt relief from daily head pressures but still was dealing with gasping for air at night and heart racing at times. My neurologist said its ok to stop Elavil after two months so I stopped it. I dont think I felt any withdrawals or any different after stopping Elavil. However, it wasnt until after about 3 months I stopped that things went totally off. It started with sleep. One night, i couldnt fall asleep and didnt have that strong feeling of tiredness or deep sleep that I usually do. My anxiety was heightened because of the fear of not sleeping and not having that feeling of deep sleep. However, I did have nights afterwards where I could sleep but only a few hours but I wasnt able to do a full 8 hrs. So I guess I had fragmented sleep following that night. I believe my anxiety went to another level. Watching tv felt strange, I had ringing in my ears, and my heart would race when I was driving at times on the road. After work one time, I became desperate for sleeping normal again that i saw a different psychiatrist. He diagnosed me as bipolar and put me on zyprexa (5 mg) and klonopin (0.50mg) to begin with. I told him I wasnt bipolar and just had anxiety issues. Anyways, I went ahead and took the zyprexa and was able to get alot of sleep on it. After a month on zyprexa, I tried stopping it abruptly. Bad choice. I could sleep for days and my anxiety got so bad. I ended up back on zyprexa and taking klonopin daily. In the start of 2019, I switched psychiatrists and went to another one thinking I can get off the meds and be back to my normal self. This new psychiatrist diagnosed me with GAD and panic disorder. She said I was on the wrong meds and to try a third med lexapro on top of the other two meds zyprexa and klonopin. I did lexapro for a week starting at 5 mg but had a manic episode on it so I stopped it after a week. Afterwards, she said to try zoloft. I did zoloft at 25 mg for a week but didnt feel comfortable being on a third med so I stopped it. For months, I was stuck on zyprexa (5 mg) and klonopin (0.25 mg). Everyday just felt like torture at work. I was able to function but I still felt uncomfortable being in different places. However, I did notice that during the months of 2019, I didnt have head pressures and rarely woke up gasping for air. I did at times have my heart racing. I must say that I was able to nap sometimes during the day being on these two meds and felt a sense of sleepiness at times. In August, I switched psychiatrists again. I saw a third psychiatrist based on online reviews and word of mouth. When I told him what I was going through, he said I had GAD and panic disorder. He wanted me to switched from zyprexa to seroquel since it had chemicals that would be better for me. So I went from 25 mg to 50 mg of seroquel and 5 to 2.5 mg of zyprexa in a month span. He said to go off of the 2.5 mg zyprexa but I told him I wanted to taper more. I was afraid that I would experience what I had from the time I ct’d zyprexa the first time. When I went down on zyprexa starting in August, I didnt notice much difference in how I felt. I went down further to 1.25 mg and now around 0.625 mg. So basically, I held each dose for a few weeks. Having discovered this group recently and now the 10 percent rule, I feel scared as to my taper off zyprexa. Right now, Im on Seroquel (75 mg), Zyprexa (0.625 mg and tapering very slowly), and Klonopin (0.25 mg). I feel bad now that I did 50% reductions in the beginning for zyprexa and didnt start the 10% rule until I got lower. I went by how I was feeling going down and didnt really experience any difference going down on zyprexa from August to this month. I still cannot sleep without medication which has now been seroquel. Id love to know your input about this situation and if what Im doing is ok so far. Also, what may have messed up my sleep to begin with if it was because of my anxiety or maybe stopping the Elavil to begin with may have contributed to sleep problems. Medication history: April 15 2018 to June 15 2018: Amitriptyline (10 mg) stopped after 2 months. Not sure about withdrawals. October 2018: Olanzapine (5 mg) November 2018: Olanzapine (5 mg) Klonopin (0.50 mg) December 2018: Olanzapine (5 mg) Klonopin (0.25 mg) January 2019: Lexapro (5 mg) stopped after 1 week. No sign of withdrawals. zoloft (25 mg) stopped after 1 week. No sign of withdrawals. Olanzapine (5 mg) Klonopin (0.25 mg) February 2019 to July 2019: Olanzapine (5 mg) Klonopin (0.25 mg) August 2019: Seroquel (25 mg to 50 mg) Olanzapine (2.5 mg) Klonopin (0.25 mg) September 2019: Seroquel (50 to 75 mg) Olanzapine (1.25 mg) Klonopin (0.25 mg) October 2019 to December 2019: Seroquel (75 mg) Olanzapine (0.625 mg) Klonopin (0.25 mg)
  4. Moderator note: link to benzo forum thread - Miko789: Xanax withdrawal/tapering Hi, I'm new to the forum, I have some questions I want to ask. My doctor prescribed effexor for depression, in 2009. Now I'm free of symptoms and I managed to come off with withdrawal symptoms though. That's with the antidepressant. Now I'm on Risperdal consta from November 2013 and seroxat 10mg. My doctor prescribed with risperdal consta 3,3mg/day long acting injection every two weeks. From February 2015 he lowered the dosage to 25mg/every 2 weeks equals 1,66mg/day. I tried to lower the seroxat 10mg but after 40-45h I have withdrawal symptoms vertigo, dizziness. Is it possible to cut down seroxat? How about the Risperdal consta (long acting injection). Has anyone tapered off completely without withdrawals? I read about the 10% harm reduction procedure to taper off and I'm going to tell my doctor and follow. thanks in advance
  5. I have been on Olanzapine 5mg for around 6 months; I was NOT told about it's ability to create severe dependence. I learned this by trying to cold turkey. Here is the timeline: May 1st - Attempted to cold turkey 5mg * severe anxiety ensued, electric feeling throughout body, May 8th- Reinstated 5mg May 10th- Cut to 2.5mg * severe insomnia began May 17th- Reinstated 5mg It's been 7 day at 5mgs and I still have severe insomnia, racing heart. I am starting to think maybe I should have just stayed on 2.5 if I was going to have to deal with insomnia anyways. I'm really scared of this drug. I want off it asap, but I need a way to control the insomnia. I have 1mg Lorazepram and have used it twice just to get some sleep in during the past week. How long should I try to stabilize at the 5mg before tapering? What can I do about insomnia?
  6. Hello. I am wanting some advice on withdrawing from the drugs I am currently on. I am taking 60 mg cymbalta, 5 mg zyprexa and 7.5 mg mirtazapine. I would like to withdraw from all 3 at the same time. Is this possible
  7. Hi, all. Thank you so much for providing this site. I’ve been inspired by the stories here, and look forward to my own recovery and hope to help others as I can along the way. It’s been a hellish year… I have a rather long story – 99% of which takes place within the last year – so please bear with me. I’ll write this out in a timeline for organization’s sake. In essence, I have a history of anxiety and depression, and have OCD. I have been suffering from severe postpartum anxiety (PPA) and depression (PPD) since delivering my son in May 2018 – exacerbated by a move out East so I could start my PhD, the decline and death of my dog, dealing with childhood trauma, etc. I was on Prozac and Xanax as needed before I was pregnant and went off without any problems while we were trying to conceive. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy. Here we go… 1999ish – 2005 (6th grade – high school) (Zoloft, Lexapro, Wellbutrin) I was diagnosed with severe academic perfectionism and OCD and put on (I think) Zoloft first (not sure of dosage). In the years that followed, I was on Lexapro and Wellbutrin, all in various combinations. I don’t remember timing or dosages. I don’t remember having a hard time coming on or off any of the meds. I was chronically ill in high school, though, with fatigue, mono, sinusitis, shingles (to be fair, I had immunological issues before going on meds, too, and a complicated family situation). I took the year after high school off to recover, went off all meds. All I remember is feeling tired and my sleep being on a weird schedule. 2005 – 2009 (no meds) I started taking some community college classes, started volunteering, and then working full-time. Started paying more attention to my diet (went off gluten and most dairy after I realized it made me feel better). Was doing very, very well. Summer 2009 – Summer 2017 (40 mg Prozac daily, ? Xanax PRN rarely taken; occasional supplements - multi vitamin, vitamin D, fish oil, probiotics) Started on 40mg Prozac (slow taper to START it), as a ‘preventative’ measure against OCD and perfectionism (I know… probably wasn’t necessary, but I can’t prove a negative) as I was about to start at a university in the fall of 2009; I was pushed by family (also on psych meds) to start. I think it helped somewhat but it’s hard to know. Eventually, I had an Rx of Xanax, which I took maybe 5-10x/year as needed. I did well in college, though, started a great career, went to the UK on scholarship to do my Master’s and then decided to QUICKLY taper off the Prozac when my husband and I (we married in 2014) decided to conceive. I don’t remember having any issues coming off the Prozac. I was on it fairly consistently for 8 years. Summer 2017 – May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Pregnant, more depressed than usual, especially after moving back home from the UK and being unsure of what was next. Still, did the damn GRE, applied to PhD programs, got into a great program out East, started setting up our life out there. Obsessive compulsive symptoms were worse than usual but not unmanageable. Late May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Delivered my son. Epidural, long labor. Started breastfeeding. Early June 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Had a week of awful insomnia and anxiety and intrusive thoughts, but it went away. Early June – Mid-July (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Doing okay, just exhausted and depressed (I was breastfeeding around the clock). One week in mid-July 2018 (? Xanax, one-time dosage ~6mg Zoloft, and one-time dosage 2mg Ativan, one-time dosage ? Klonopin in hospital; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Then, at around 7 postpartum weeks - BAM - I was hit with a week of NO SLEEP. I just couldn't sleep and I lost my appetite. I had been given an Rx for Zoloft by my OBGyn and took a very small amount that Friday (I wanted to ease in). That night, all my symptoms were much worse – and I also felt this severe restlessness in my limbs. It was AWFUL. I even tried Xanax to calm me down (I gave to my son pumped breastmilk). My anxiety was so bad that I went to the ER that Sunday. They drew blood and it turned out that my blood sodium was dangerously low (126) - possibly due to not eating enough and drinking too much water. They gave me Ativan (2 mg – which was A LOT for my system), some Klonopin, too, eventually, and fluids overnight and I felt MUCH better the next day. I was given Ativan and Remeron as needed but didn't need to take it for a few weeks. Mid-July to Late Aug 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) I was fine for a few weeks, and then my family and I moved out East, where I was attending grad school (I’m now on medical leave). The anxiety and insomnia came back around the move in August. I took Ativan (0.5 – 1 mg) as needed each day and had some rebound anxiety but was able to get through until setting up care there. I was assigned an interim psychiatrist (before being placed with a regular one), who Rxed me 0.5 Ativan to take at night to sleep for 10 days. This worked for sleep, but not the overall anxiety and depression. Due to breastfeeding concerns, they switched me to Trazodone (25-50 mg), which worked ok for sleep. Eventually, I was able to fall asleep on my own for a couple/few nights. That would be the last time I could do that to-date. Late Aug to Late Sept 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily, 1-5mg Prozac, 25-50 mg Trazodone; supplements: postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, probiotics?) I started seeing a regular psychiatrist in early September, and we agreed I should go back on the Prozac with 1 mg Ativan/day as needed. We started sloooow on the Prozac - 1mg, then 2, then 5. By week 3, I had lost my appetite completely, and my anxiety was through the roof - just on 5mg (I was on 40 before becoming pregnant, so I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so terribly). The Trazodone was no longer helping me sleep, and was giving me terrible dry mouth. My limbs felt like they were vibrating. My psydoc FINALLY directed me to go off the Prozac and Ativan, and Rxed me just Klonopin 0.75mg/day. In addition to the psychiatrist, I saw a primary care doc, who checked my thyroid, adrenal glands (several tests there), vitamin levels, and other things - all normal. My blood sodium has still been a little low, but they believe it's due to not eating enough. Oct 2018 (Klonopin 0.25 – 0.75mg/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) My appetite returned but it was never the same. I was sleeping better, but not well – maybe 6 hours at most, sometimes waking in a panic. I could only take one class. I was very depressed and frustrated, and deeply confused as to why I wasn’t responding to medications. But I felt BETTER than when I was on the Prozac, and was able to feel like I could sleep on my own again, and on just 0.25mg Klonopin/day – but the plan was to let me ‘settle’ and then try a new AD, sooo… Nov 2-4 2018 (25mg Anafranil at night, 0.25-0.5mg Klonopin/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) The psydoc suggested Anafranil, a TCA. The day I started it, we put my dog down and I stopped breastfeeding (I had been tapering on that for months). It wasn’t a great time to start something. But I did. I took it the night of the 2nd, fell asleep instantly, then woke up feeling SO GOD AWFUL about 3 hours later. I had a tremor, I vomited, I couldn’t eat. My husband had to hold me while I shook in bed. I called the psydoc and she told me to keep taking it, sounding annoyed with me. So I pushed through for three days – but that was all I could do. Until then, that was the worst I have ever felt. Nothing could calm me down. Things start heating up here, so I’ll spare some details and focus more on the med changes… Nov 5-8 2018 I barely remember these days. Sleep was poor, I felt awful. Then on a Thursday night, I was up all night with panic attacks. I called my therapist and made the decision to go into the psych hospital. Nov 9 – 15 2018 (In hospital, put on 0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day and worked up to 100 mg Seroquel at night) I didn’t start sleeping until I was put on a combination of Seroquel and Klonopin. BUT, I remember this creeping feeling of “buzziness” and restlessness when I woke up everyday. That feeling would continue to get worse over the coming weeks and stay with me to the present. Nov 15 – Early Dec 2018 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day → 0.25mg Klonopin 2x/day; 100mg Seroquel at night; some supplements – don’t remember) I left the hospital taking 100mg Seroquel at night and 0.5 mg klonopin 2x/day. I officially went on medical leave from grad school. I stuck with this doseage for 2ish weeks, was sleeping well but feeling horribly depressed and anxious, then started to quickly taper the Klonopin. I don’t remember how quickly – but I wasn’t taking anymore than 0.5mg/day by early December. I then tapered on the Seroquel after feeling SO much worse when an IOP psydoc tried bumping the dose to 125mg; I remember not being able to sit still – going outside to pace. No tremor – just pacing, fidgeting, and losing a lot of weight. Early December 2018 – Early Jan 2019 (1mg Ativan at night, 2.5mg Zyprexa at night, 25-100mg Lamictal; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) I made the decision to move back home to do a program specialized in PPD (we ended by moving back entirely later that winter). In the program, I was put on 0.5-1mg Ativan at night, 2.5 mg Zyprexa at night (for sleep – though it never helped), and titrated up to 100mg Lamictal (the psydoc suspected a bipolar spectrum diagnosis). I was still incredibly restless, unable to sit down and just enjoy a movie. And my sleep was growing worse and worse. It was awful – then my mood grew worse and worse as we went up on the Lamictal; I also had increasingly bad tinnitus and TMJ. I was hospitalized as my thinking became suicidal – just ideations, but I was ready to go back in… Early to Mid-Jan 2019 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day, 5mg Paxil/day, 50mg Benadryl at night; 0.25-1mg Risperidone 1-2x/day; some supplements?; THEN back to 150mg Seroquel) In the hospital, I was taken off the Lamictal and put on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep), and Risperidone 0.25mg once or twice a day (I don’t remember). I became increasingly orthostatic (low BP, high HR). I stabilized mood-wise – sorta – and left the hospital feeling off, but better… Within days, though, we tried increasing the Risperidone, and my HR went up to 140 (I think we tried 1 mg). I wasn’t sleeping AT ALL. I was taken off the Risperidone, stayed on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep). Eventually, as my sleep diminished, the PPD IOP doc put me back on Seroquel (I has actually asked to go back on) – but suggested as much as 150mg. After that, my mood really shifted and became erratic; I was really upset and angry at my husband and suicidal ideation returned. So it was suggested I go back in the hospital... Late Jan to Mid-Feb 2019: 3-week hospital stay (see below for crazy med changes) All the docs agreed I didn’t need to be in there this long (everyone kept asking why I was still there), but there I was so they could keep throwing stuff at me to see if something stuck. I was holding out hope SOMETHING would work this time...: First week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 100 mg Seroquel at night, 300mg XR lithium 2x/day (HORRIBLE stomach reaction, especially when the doc abruptly pulled the Seroquel) Second week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, some amount of Depakote (I don’t remember – wasn’t improving, irritable), tried PRNs of 12.5mg Seroquel and became really depressed Third week: 1 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 1200mg gabapentin (taken as 300mg twice during the day, and 600mg at night). That’s how I left the hospital. Mid-Feb to Early-March 2019: (0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 300mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 600mg at night, brief re-trial of lithium – 150mg; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics?) Instantly went down to 0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day (fear of dependence). New trauma-based IOP. Was very constipated. Tried low-dose lithium (150mg) as lithium seemed to be the only med to be helping to-date (along with benzos); was improving somewhat mood-wise, but the stomach issues were SO bad, so we went off. After going off lithium, my restlessness SKYROCKETED, and was particularly bad for 10 days. My stomach was AWFUL; I was taking antacids all the time; seemed to be worse after taking gabapentin, so the new IOP doc cut THAT dosage in half. Developed a tremor. The new IOP psydoc diagnosed me with akathisia – FINALLY. I had NEVER heard of that before (although, in retrospect, I think it has been mentioned to me in the hospital as a possible side-effect of the antipsychotics – but I remember them saying “you can get this, but I don’t see that in you, so…” and so I ignored it (dumb)). When I read about it, I felt so frustrated; this had, no doubt, been plaguing me since at least the one-time Zoloft attempt in July - and in particular since the first Seroquel doseage in November. Doc suggested I reduce my Seroquel from 50 to 25mg; I couldn’t do that for a couple of weeks. Early to Mid-March (→0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, brief re-trial of Depakote – don’t remember dosage; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Continue reducing my Klonopin down to 0.25mg during the day and 0.5mg at night. We tried XR Depakote as a Hail Mary in the med department. It seemed to help a bit, but also increased some of the restlessness. At this point – and this should have come sooner for me – I was done – just DONE– with med changes. My body needed a break. I haven’t added or taken away and particular meds since (with one exception - the propranolol, see below) – though I have reduced the dosages… Early April (0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, up to 70mg propranolol throughout the day; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Was diagnosed with thyroiditis (my thyroid had been normal as recently as January) – a relatively common thing postpartum, but it was ‘late’ to arrive to be postpartum thyroiditis, so doctors suspected the lithium. B/c I was hyperthyroid first (usually follows a pattern of a few months in 'hyper'/overactive mode, followed by anywhere from 3 to 18 (or more) months underactive. I was put on propranolol (taking as much as 70mg throughout the day). That seemed to help the tremor, heart palpitations, and restlessness maybe 50-75% of the time. But it crashed my BP. Early-April to Present (see below) We’ve moved into a new, stable house (both good and really stressful). As of early June, I am off the Seroquel. I tapered from 25 to 0mg by reducing by about 6.25mg every two weeks or so. I tried re-starting it to do an every-other-day ending taper, and felt instantly WORSE, so I am done. But it was probably too quick a taper. I NEVER want to take another antipsychotic again, though; I can point to the beginning of the worst parts of this whole cluster to starting Seroquel, and the akathisia that ensues and continues. I reduced the daytime Klonopin to 0 (though I’ve had to take a 0.0625mg to 0.125mg PRN three times in June as things have grown worse). I still take 0.5mg Klonopin at night. In June, I also went off the propranolol – too quickly – and have been having heart palpitations, and have been orthostatic. My BP was just getting to be so, so low. Now, taking any amount of it seems to make me more agitated/restless or, at best, woozy. In June, I also got ambitious and reduced the gabapentin from taking 400 mg during the day (200mg 2x/day) to 0 at the end of June, mostly b/c I thought it was making me feel worse; I’m not sure on this STILL (or if it ever did much of anything). I still take 300mg at night with 0.5 mg Klonopin. May was my best month - not great (I was still constantly restless, struggled with my appetite, and was really disoriented and depressed), but it felt more manageable. I should have done a slower taper on all things when I felt more stable, then – but here I am. June started out okay but, after going off the Seroquel and trying a glass of wine again (out with a friend), it’s been awful; the akathisia is back in full swing. NOW I seem to have reached this point where my body won’t tolerate much of anything again – as if it’s saying “if you’re done with one, then you’re going to be done with them ALL.” I’ve also noticed that the first half of my menstrual cycle is FAR AND AWAY WORSE than the latter half – and am trying to explore ways to (as naturally as possible) balance my hormones. I tried bioidentical progesterone cream that an integrative MD Rxed and it helped somewhat, but caused cramping and spotting and an upset stomach – no go. Currently Taking 0 – 200mg gabapentin during the day; 300mg gabapentin at night 0.5mg Klonopin at night 5mg melatonin (+10mg B6 – combo pill) at night Fish oil (1400mg EPA + 480 DHA) in morning and afternoon 1500mg primrose oil morning and afternoon 200-400mg magnesium glycinate at night, and magnesium oxide throughout day 2000mg vitamin D afternoon Cal+Mag+Potassium supplement afternoon 2 kinds of probiotics morning Multivitamin morning What Makes Things Worse Alcohol; I haven’t been able to tolerate this since sometime early spring – makes me SUPER anxious. Any antihistamine; it used to help me sleep but something in the last 2-4 months has changed my brain so I now feel WORSE the next morning. Some vitamins (I say that b/c I sometimes feel more buzzy after taking a multivitamin; on the other hand, sometimes I feel better) Caffeine (not that I’ve tested this too much; the most I ever drink is a cup of green tea, and I haven’t been able to do that in weeks) Antacids (found that out the hard way) What Helps Epsom salt baths Sweating Crying (when I am able to) Walking (especially in sunshine) Melatonin (at night – for sleep) Klonopin (but I am trying not to go over 0.5mg/day – mostly at night; and want to taper off) Massage Stretching Kombucha (not too much, though b/c caffeine) Apple cider vinegar + lemon water (ahead of meals and when I have an upset stomach – at east once/day) Eating enough (really tough to do right now) Not Sure if it Helps (tried/trying it) Acupuncture (doing this for a few months now) Therapy – CBT, talk Gabapentin (want to taper off anyway) Primrose oil Multivitamin Fish oil Magnesium Calcium CBD oil What I Need Help With I’m here b/c I need to feel like I’m not crazy when the psydoc says this isn’t still akathisia. I KNOW it is – I KNOW it’s protracted withdrawal and the effect of such a brain-altering year. I know this b/c, even in my most anxious moments pre-postpartum medications, I never felt this protracted insatiable restlessness and dread. I was a champ at sleeping (though a night owl). And my appetite was always solid (too much so, at times). This is DIFFERENT. I also want to get off the gabapentin and the Klonopin – but do so in a smart way. I’m not sure the gabapentin is a net evil right now and shouldn’t be taken off altogether? And is the gabapentin the best thing to drop first? And I need help managing the akathisia. I've read some tips here, and will explore those. Any help on the hormone piece would be invaluable. There is something there. I feel the effects of akathisia/withdrawal/autonomic disregulation far more at the start of my cycle. And this whole postpartum period has been inherently hormonally disregulating (compounded by meds like Depakote, which altered my cycle). Anyone else? Anything help? I plan to keep a more focused journal as this site recommends and track my symptoms alongside food, supplement, and med changes. Of course, what sucks THE MOST is the lost time and what's been taken - from the joy of being a new mother, to what was supposed to be a fulfilling career move in pursuing my PhD (I might have to give up my place now b/c I'm so disabled), to feeling defective for not responding to the 'right treatments.' The worst year of your life should not also be the first year of motherhood. To those of you that read this monster of a post – or event 10% - THANK YOU.
  8. Tomash

    Tomash

    My psychological issues started in high school - I experimented with halucinogens, for a higher knowledge. However, later on I started to participate in techno parties and this destroyed my sensitive psyche. First depression, then toxic psychosis. I was hospitalized 6 months, for schizophrenia, then addiction treatment and received several diagnosis since then. My self-esteem lowered quite a lot. From my childhood, I am a personality and anti-authoritarian, I did art and so on, which made psychiatrists always confused (literally, they often didnt know completely what to do with me). During hospitalization, I tried to stop smoking, doing sports and learning, I felt quite well soon. But later on I started to smoke, started to drink alkohol as proposed by my psychiatrist to go to parties to have social contacts. It was a very renowned doctor, however today patient himself. However, I started to study at college, though not realizing i am completely dump on antipsychotics, always not understanding where the hell my creativity and inteligence from high-school disappeared. Of course - the diagnosis was to be blamed. I ve been always interested in religion. in 2006, i tried to do yoga, and from 2007 i started to do daily. I really feel I was completely closed and dump in that time, didnt realize how diet, good company etc. are important as well. But in 2008 I started to do social work with autistic persons, which made mi stronger and forced me to start to travel, go to mountains, do sports etc. In 2010 I enrolled in a prestigious social work Master program. I didnt enjoy, but it definitely re-thought me how to use critical thinking and real scientific approach. In 2011 i did a research in India on ayurveda, social work and autism, which i accidentelly succesfully completed by skipping my doses for 7 days, when my brain started to work for a while. Going back home, I started to experiment with ayurveda myself. Soon, I lowered the dose from "therapeutic" doses to 5 Mg of Zyprexa and Wellbutrin 150. I started to have conflicts with my psychiatrist, my colleagues and my profession in general. By ayurvedic life-style, good job etc. I came to decision to withdraw in 2015. I had some knowledge of recovery movement, but I did a plan which was complete failure. I thought that ayurveda and yoga would help me, and only that. I underestimated the rebound and all these things. I did quite a bad panchakarma in India, which happens to a lot of westerners, but for me it was disaster. I started to meditate, do pranayama, on my own, which made me terribly ungrounded. In autumn 2015 i felt enthusiastic, I was completely off medication. I felt my inteligence, creativity, clarity came after 15 years. But, I stopped to sleep, and few days later i had visions or quazi-spiritual content, started to have depression, all rebound symptoms and finally some symptoms from my original toxic psychosis. I left my home and job, to protect clients and spouse and have less stress. In that time, I was without any contact with psychiatrists etc., didnt believe them anything. But in my state of mind I succumbed to suggestions of people around me that psychiatry changed. I couldnt, however, find any that "new psychiatrist" which was another sign of "not able to have a safe therapeutic relationship and therefore paranoid". Because I didnt have safe home, too, I was finally hospitalized in a very modern hospital in Prague. However, very soon, I realized that psychiatry hasnt "changed", rather, it is quite worse then i used to be. So I did everything to be realesd from the prison. I found a new flat, and started to meet my spouse again. I tried a psychotherapeutic program, which was "new", but same patterns again. Finally, my yoga teacher recommended me a private psychologist, and I am in that process now and it helps. I started to very cautiously do yoga again. I found a physical job - gardens and ecological agriculture. This makes me grounded and gives time to plan everything. I am going to do social work only part-time, to reduce stress. Last 3 years I worked with refugees, and you know what is happening now in Europe... I am preparing to have a house with a garden, to stay grounded during the next year. I am discovering a healing power of nature and physical work, which is well related to ayurveda philosophy. I know now that yoga is powerful tool, and in India usually corrupted. Its a tool, which can helps but also harm. I try to focus my attention to my body, which is grounding yoga technique, not to think much. I am not looking for "spiritual" fantastic experiences, rather for true and the Earth, and rebuilding my life. I also strive to find new supportive friends and I am partly succesfull. And I read this forum, because these information are gold, and no psychiatrist in present state of affairs will do this job for me, unfortunatelly.
  9. Hi all, This is my first post, so please bear with me. I hope it is okay to discuss tapering off from other psychiatric drugs besides just antidepressants. I am currently taking 20 mg of Prozac, 2.5 mg of Zyprexa, and 1,200 mg of lithium. I am in the research phase and in the process of planning my withdrawal, which is why I decided to join this site. My goal is to eventually taper off of all psychiatric drugs. I have attempted to do this several times in the past, but have ultimately failed and found myself reaching for psych meds again. I first sought "professional help" back in high school when I was around 16 and my parents brought me to a psychologist, and upon his recommendation, also a psychiatrist. I was originally diagnosed with major depression which turned into treatment-resistant major depression and then years later turned into a diagnosis of bipolar disorder in my early twenties. I am now 29 and once again looking to taper off of the drugs that I'm taking. My primary motivation for this is that I believe the drugs are to blame for my inability to think and feel emotions. I always seem to find myself in this sort of state after taking psych drugs for awhile. I turn into a zombie. I'm flat all the time. I have no interest in anything, no motivation for anything, no up, no down, just an unceasing flatness. I have this constant sort of absent-mindedness that never improves. I am stuck in a sort of thoughtless "running through the motions" type of existence. My state is difficult to describe as it's like nothing I have ever experienced before taking psych meds. It may be a sort of dissociation (perhaps depersonalization?). However, when I have tapered off of whatever psych drugs I was taking in the past, my mind comes back. It's truly a night and day difference. The experience is like coming back from the dead! The problem I have faced in the past was sustaining the return to wellness. I think most times in the past I was withdrawn way too quickly, as the psychiatrists seem to think cutting your dose in half every week or two and then stopping the drug you may have been on for months to years in about one month is completely okay. This, coupled with the fact that I was taking multiple drugs was really a recipe for failure. My most recent attempt to withdraw was also my longest lasting. I was drug free for about a year, and doing very well. So here I am, once again preparing to taper off the drugs that I'm taking in hopes of healing from them and my mind returning to life. My main concerns at this point have to do with coming up with a reasonable and safe taper schedule. I am very discouraged to learn that the suggested taper rate is 5-10% reduction per month from the previous month's dosage. I have seen this number on several different websites and it is cited as being the rate generally suggested by the withdrawal community. If that is the case, it would take me over 7 years to taper off the three drugs I'm taking. This seems ridiculous. I want to withdraw with a harm reduction approach in mind, and of course the goal is to be successful, but I can't stomach taking that many years to taper off. How does one determine their taper schedule? I want to be off of these drugs as soon as possible, but I also want to give myself the best chance possible to succeed. How does one find a middle ground? I suppose this is a very individual question, and that at least part of the answer lies in how well one tolerates an initial reduction. Can anyone provide any suggestions or resources to learn more about tapering off? What are some guidelines to help determine how to taper? Alright, sorry if this was too long, it wasn't my original intention to write so much. Please let me know if there are any questions or if I did not do this correctly, Thank you!
  10. MOD NOTE: This is Gemma92's topic. Before Gemma joined SA her sister icerose posted requesting assistance. I've merged the two topics so that all of Gemma's history is in one place. _________________________________ Hello. I am new here, and I’m posting on behalf of my 26 year old sister who has been in a psychiatric unit for a week. My sister has a history of mild depression and functionable anxiety. She had occasional bouts of anger, periods of intense fatigue, and nightly hallucinations usually during sleep paralysis. She started having occasional panic attacks a few years ago. (The only psychiatric medication she had been on prior was Prozac during her childhood.) Despite her struggles , she was generally happy and enjoyed life. In August 2017, she had her right thyroid removed due to the growth of a large, benign nodule. Her anxiety slowly seemed to increase over the months and she experienced a panic attack after taking Benadryl (something that never happened before when taking Benadryl.) To help combat her anxiety, she started taking 10 mg of Lexapro in May 2018. Not knowing the danger of taking it intermittently, she took it whenever she remembered. Her doctor increased her dose to 20 mg which she took daily for 2 weeks. In early July, she developed strep symptoms, but tested negative for strep throat. Her doctor diagnosed her with laryngitis. Her throat hurt so bad, that she cold turkeyed off Lexapro because it hurt to swallow the pills. She continued to show symptoms of strep throat and was finally diagnosed on July 4, 2018. After 2 doses of Penicillin (and a couple days off Lexapro) she experienced an episode lasting a couple hours where her moods alternated between intense fear (needing to hold Mom’s hand, impending doom, confusion, depersonalization, terror from Hell) and fits of giddiness (giggling, silly talk). She hallucinated once during this episode (shadow in kitchen.) She stopped taking the Penicillin because she thought it caused the episode. Her doctor told her the strep would probably go away on its own. A week later, she noticed swollen lymph nodes on her neck (near collar bone.) She started another antibiotic which she finished. She started noticing increasing anxiety in the morning that would subside at night. She took Effexor for 5 days, but cold turkeyed because she thought it was worsening her anxiety. She lost her appetite around this time and had to quit her job. At the end of August 2018, she admitted herself into a psychiatric unit for 5 days. On one of the days, she had a fever and sore throat. It was not addressed. They put her back on Lexapro at 5 mg which she took daily for 1 month. During this time, she also took 0.5 mg of Lorazepam as needed. (10 pills over the course of a month) She cold turkeyed again off the Lexapro and Lorazepam because of bad heartburn and no help with anxiety. After this, she developed physical symptoms such as bad night vision, light sensitivity, ear ringing (stopped as of now), cold sweats (stopped as of now), bone chilling cold, dizziness, nausea, poor appetite, extreme weakness, chest pain (went to ER twice because she thought it was a heart attack), and mucus in her stool which was ongoing since before Lexapro. Her mental symptoms increased as well. Her anxiety became “anxiety from Hell” that resided in the pit of her stomach. She experienced impending doom (worse upon waking up), crushing depression, hopelessness, and inconsolable crying spells where she appeared to be very agitated. She obsessed over her health and started doing research. She self diagnosed herself with Lexapro withdrawals, adverse reactions, kindling, neurotoxicity, and brain damage. After seeing a psychiatrist on October 23, 2018, she started 15 mg of Mirtazapine. It dulled the massive anxiety, but brought out rage, verbal aggression, and threats directed at her family. She cold turkeyed the Mirtazapine after 6 days (last day was 7.5 mg). Her rage went down and her anxiety went back up. A few days later, she had a few hours a day where she felt like herself. (Was it the Mirtazapine starting to work?) A couple days before Thanksgiving, she went to the ER after a day of inconsolable crying, anxiety, and impending doom. They sent her home saying “there are too many questions marks in this case so follow up with your psychiatrist.” She had another intense crying/anxiety episode the following day where she was begging for help and immediate relief. She had stopped eating and drinking as was planning her suicide by starvation or going out to the woods to die. She went back to the ER via ambulance and was admitted into the psychiatric unit. After almost a week of refusing meds, she agreed to try 7.5 mg of Mirtazapine. It’s been 3 days since then and she is experiencing numbness in her head and discomfort on the ride side of her body. They are suggesting an antipsychotic (Zyprexa) or electroshock therapy. Since this nightmare began, she never stabilized on any medication and cold turkeyed off everything. She keeps calling me and begging me for advice. I don’t know what to do because I don’t know what’s wrong. No one has an answer. I thought maybe she had Lyme but her test came back negative. I thought maybe she had PANDAS because of the strep. Or maybe it is the fact she never stabilized on medication and kindled her brain. I came here for hope though because I’ve been lurking for a month and I know many of you have recovered from many years of psychiatric drugs and withdrawals. She wasn’t even regularly on anything for more than a month or two at a time. So we need to get her stabilized and we can begin to treat underlying issues. My question is how do we do that?
  11. Mainly writing to say thank you to Surviving Antidepressants and the one person who posted having successfully gotten off Zyprexa. I was nearly there, had gotten off, then had delayed withdrawal symptoms, akathisia, and while really struggling and nearly ready to give up, I tried to see whether anyone had successfully gotten of this drug and found one person here. I also found the invaluable information here regarding how to do it (pill crusher, weigh scale) and IT WORKED! I have been off Zyprexa since July 2018, got myself off valproic acid last February and off Effexor last September. So just looking for information regarding some legacy effects and hoping to provide someone looking for answers with hope. Psych med history: Benzodiazepine 2002 - 2005 Paxil/Effexor 2000 - September 2019 Zyprexa 10 mg 2002 - July 2017 Valproic acid 500 mg January 2010 - February 2019
  12. my husband was diagnosed about 18 months ago with MDD and GAD, and has been taking zyprexa (evil, evil drug), ativan, paxil, mirtazapine and gabapentin at various dosages. as i learned more about these (he is too scared to do the research himself and refuses to look up anything on the web), it seemed that we should start with getting him off the zyprexa (originally 15 mg and then down to 2.5mg over the 18 month period.) but the movement from 2.5mg to 0, which has been in the last 2 weeks or so, has been extremely difficult and his doc is resistant to the idea of microtapering because "it doesn't work." the doc is an idiot and we must find a better provider asap who will write a microtapering Rx. he continues to take the ativan (.5mg at night, sometimes during the day when he feels like he's "jumping out of my skin.") he's taking 30mg of mirtazapine. the stupid doc wants to increase this to 45mg, because more is better. last nov., the same stupid doc thought that it would be good to increase the paxil from 20mg to 30mg. that little experiment resulted in suicidal ideation, return to the ER and 5 days in the locked-down unit. he's taking about 1200 mg/day of gabapentin, which stupid doc says is "benign" but it strikes me that NONE of these poisons are benign enough to stay on them for one more nanosecond than is necessary. i'm also interested in your point of view on TMS. we have a facility nearby, it's covered by our insurance, and they claim they can deliver good results for folks with depression/anxiety issues. we're getting ready to try this (i hope) before changing up any of the other meds so we'll know if in fact any improvement comes actually from the TMS vs. other change. i should point out that i have been married to this man for 15 years, and have known him for nearly 20. he was exceptionally normal for 18.5 of these years. all of this pile of crazy started following a kidney transplant in the summer of 2012. he had had an earlier kidney transplant in 1986, which lasted 25 years, so we were optimistic abt this one. in all of those 25 years, he had no psych issues. initially he was fine following the recent transplant, but about 6 months later, everything went to hell in a handbasket, and nobody can tell us why. all i can tell you is that my normally calm, collected, unflappable hubby has become agitated, anxious beyond belief, scared, irritable, timid, hysterical and a whole bunch of other not-normal behavior SINCE HE STARTED TAKING THE MEDS. idiot doctor says the symptoms now are the underlying disease. but since hubby didn't have this disease before, doesn't it seem that the meds are in fact what's making him crazy? does anyone have any suggestions on how to manage the zyprexa WD symptoms? (especially the anxiety, fear/dread, "pit in stomach" feeling, racing thoughts?)
  13. Hello everyone. Don't know where to start. Firstly excuse my english because it is not my native language. My first experience with psychiatric drug was with elicea in 2015 when I visited my first psychiatrist (can't remember the dose). Took it for 2 months then stopped cold turkey. Suffered severe depression and brain zaps for short period after that. I recovered. Also I took xanax occasionally then and in 2017. 2018 took xanax more often for like 3 months (never more than once a day, 0.25mg, maybe 0.50mg sometimes). Never suffered withdrawals after I quit. At least nothing that I am aware off. Fast forward to august 2018 I visited another psychiatrist and was put on calixta (mirtazapine), can't remember the dose atm. Took it until december or january when she got me off it cold turkey and put me on seroxat. Never had any problems until I started noticing double vision (ghosting) of bright letters and lights from a distance but It wasn't that bad. After like 3 months on seroxat she wanted to switch to zyprexa and diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder. Keep in mind that I never suffered psychosis and was only depressed and unmotivated person. I had trouble with my insurance and needed to sorted it out first because it is an expensive drug. I quit seroxat first around april this year. Never had any problems except the double vision one. After I got my insurance in june I started Zyprexa. First I was on smaller doses (2.5mg-7.5mg) then i got to 10mg on september. I started losing interest in my hobbies and got very suicidal and depressed. She started me on zoloft around middle of october (first few days on small doses then on 25mg) and cut my zyprexa dose to 7.5mg. Around 13th of november (a week ago) I decided to quit both drugs and stop poisoning myself after a very fast tapper (few days). I am in hell since. I have lots of symptoms (most are probably from zyprexa because I took it for longer) but what I find worst is not sleeping. First I was very tired and sleepy from not sleeping but recently I am never tired and I probably don't even sleep one hour in total. It is scaring me. I always slept on my back but now I can't do that because my mouth make a weird noise and I start panicking. I am very scared and don't know what to do. I was thinking of tappering but going back to drugs scare me. I am afraid I will never sleep and my brain will detoriate. My god what have I done to myself.
  14. Hello: I am new to this forum. I am tapering zyprexa. I was put on 10 mg in the hospital at the beginning of December. In the first week of January, I cut down to 8.50, then 7.5. for 10 days. Right now I am at 6.25 mg, and have been at that level for 1 week. They decided to put me on zoloft in the hospital as it "works fast" the doctors said, and is being used "until the zoloft kicks in". I am very impatient to get off zyprexa, and figured if I join your group, I would get support from people to help me be patient and wait enough time between cuts. Still figuring out how to do the signature. Will add it when I do. I am also on a whopping dose of 200 mg Zoloft, also given in the hospital. Before that, I had been 6 months free of Zoloft after tapering it for at least 3 years or even more. It was a huge disappointment to end up in the hospital and to have to go on it again.
  15. I used to be very happy and funny guy who loved dancing and enjoyed going out with friends until one night I got drunk and someone put drugs in my drinks.I still dont know what that drug was but I felt like my legs were burning and I became very agressive and delusional.I got locked up for trying to brake into a house and send into a mental hospital. I was forced to take zyprexa for 3 months and after that zoloft for 2 months. Since then I lost all feelings and emotions. For all I mean: fear, love, hate, envy,everithing.I've Lost all my friends. No desire to live, I feel like an empty shell. Complete lack of creativity, lack of social skills Lack of empathy, lack of motivation and a sense of accomplishment. 5 months ago I stopped taking zyprexa but I have no improvement and Im beginning to think that my brain is permanently damaged by these drugs. Is there any hope that my brain will recover?
  16. Hi. I was at psyc ward after psychosis and my sleep was not perfect so i was put on zyprexa. I accepted to get out of there. I was on 20mg 2days then 10mg for 10days until i was released. When released I stopped cold turkey and and waited 3-4weeks before withdrawals came. Worst was my complete insomnia.. didnt sleep for 7 days so i had to reinstate. I went back on last dose 10mg. Immediately i felt it was a bad idea but i had to sleep. i tried to taper it off over a month. I had all side effects you could think so finally I just stopped again and used sleep pills to beat insomnia. Problem now 6months later(stopped oct2015) is that i still have insomnia. barely sleeps at all(1-4hrs) What advice do you guys have? From what ive read, this forum advice me to start on a small dose and taper from there am i right? I really dont want to reinstate since it slmost killed me but i dont know how to solve this either..
  17. 8/28/2019 I was put on 1.25mg Zyprexa for mild insomnia. I should’ve done my research!!!! 4 months later I start wondering about this drug and stop cold turkey for 14 days of pure hell. Day 14 I take a small amount of Zyprexa, it helps alleviate some of the god awful withdrawals, now almost 2 weeks after my reinstatement of the 1.25 mg I’m having moments of feeling better then moments of feeling awful again. Sleeping again, didn’t sleep for most of the 14 days I quit. I just don’t know what to do now. Do I stay on this amount and hope I return to my baseline prior to stopping CT? How long do I stay at this dose ? I WANT OFF THIS CRAP BAD! Each day I’m on it is another day I’m not tapering. I’m so lost and confused and this drug is making it worse. I can’t believe my GP put me on this! I had asked her for a healthier option to benedryl!!! And this is what she puts me on. Am I doomed forever ? I hear nothing good about coming off Zyprexa. I need help!
  18. hi, Alto I went to a local pharmacy and they helped me to compound 2.5mg pill into 2.mg. but they changed it into a capsul form. would that make a difference. now my son is taking 2.5 pill and 2capsule. what you think. the pharmacist said it is fine.
  19. Good afternoon everyone! Well let me just start off with a little bit of my history and why I was initially prescribed these medications. Well im 35 now in my younger days around 15-21 I started experimenting heavy with marijuana and a few other light substances but not at all often, well me being a shy kid I don't know why but my heavy marijuana abuse really changed my personality I pretty much craved it like a person would crave a hard narcotic, in this process I became introverted awkward very unkept very hyper aroused. and I did tons of very very weird things under the influence! and of course I became that kid and young adult that was considered icky weird and sometimes scary on some of the embarrassing things I done which i totally understand. So after I became THC free I was still known as that awkward weird unclean guy and suffered a lot of teasing bullying because of it which made me very paranoid anxious socially scared to do anything. My family still bullies me to this day I lost all my friends and most close family members because of my actions as a young adult. and when I look back on the hurt and shame and embarrassment it makes me extremely sad angry anxious and depressed and up to this point these medications were given to me by many different psychiatrist to cure those symptoms. So fast forward 10 years later the Zyprexa Tripled my weight made me chronically fatigued and properly lots of other things I have not discovered yet, and as far as the Anafranil my psychiatrist who recently moved on to another practice agreed that I do not have OCD and she has no idea why it was prescribed in the first place and we discussed ending its use. So here is my theory on why I suffer from depression, anxiety, PTSD social phobias and why I was misdiagnosed over 15 years ago, I think i look back on my past actions that were very bad and extremely weird and I get very sad about the teasing in high school the bullying from family members the way my family pretty much disowned me because of my history of showing some signs of mental issues, also i think about the countless humiliating situations I have been apart of either by my actions or awkward things I would say but this is when I was very younger and using very heavy Marijuana once I stopped using I could see my actions and situations and get very hurt and traumatized by them. So as I sit here at 35 I can man up better and look at that past hurt and digest it better and accept it better which I think someone should have told me many years ago that I decided to use THC and it affected me different than many other users and i did some very embarrassing questionable things. So as of today I have stopped taking Zyprexa 5mg also Anafranil 25mg I always took my meds not as prescribed in my late 20's to the present, I would skip a dose for a day or two then take my dosage when I felt sad anxious or had trouble sleeping. I did a harsh taper of the zyprexa last month completely not by the book i would just take half a pill. but today I am 3 weeks in of no Zyprexa and I have terrible fatigue lethargy body aches I sleep all day constantly, I did experience flu-like symptoms a week ago which scared me because of COVID-19 outbreak then I realized this was a symptom of the withdrawal which has gone away. right now it's the tiredness, body aches, and the fatigue to the point I can barely get out of bed to do anything normal, how long will this last and what can I do to help ease this process along with any supplements or vitamins should I be taking ? Thank you for any words of advice and encouragement!
  20. Hello all, just found this site and was looking for some advice on tapering off antipsychotic's. It all started about 11 months ago when I was prescribed saphris for depression by my pdoc to augment pristiq, (I know I should have known better). All was fine until about three months in when I started slowly developing anhedonia, just a complete lack of interest in life, it messed up my endocrine system, and destroyed my short term memory. Having successfully quit seroquel cold turkey in the past I thought saphris would be a breeze.... Boy was I wrong, only managed to make it there days in before the overwhelming anxiety (which I've never had before)and insomnia drove me back onto it. After three failed attempts to taper off(lowest dose is 5mg and couldn't cut sublingual wafers any lower), my pdoc suggested switching to 10mg zyprexa for two weeks then stopping that cold turkey, well that was a mess again, had anxiety from hell and insomnia. Again we tried switching over to seroquel which failed.So now I'm back on zyprexa (with a whole new set of side effects)with the plan of tapering off at a rate of -1.25mg every two weeks, currently I'm down to 7.5mg with moderate anxiety, intermittent insomnia and an insatiable appetite. Just wondering if this is too aggressive a taper, I only have tablets available so I'm just relying on cutting them into quarters. Just want off this pharmaceutical merry go round, feel as though I've been lobotomized.
  21. Hi, I discovered this site through http://cepuk.org/support/ I was forcibly drugged with Zyprexa/Olanzapine off and on between 2003 and 2005. I tapered off slowly through 2006. I am now drug free. However I am still healing serious brain damage. There have been improvements but I still can't work. I've got to the point now after reading Deadly Medicines and Organised Crime - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Deadly-Medicines-Organised-Crime-Healthcare/dp/1846198844 - where I have the evidence and confidence to seek financial compensation through a clinical negligence solicitor. I already have names of 249 clinical negligence solicitors that accept legal aid. I found this through the Law Society - https://www.lawsociety.org.uk/ - but I need to find the one's who have experience with psychiatric drug claims. So if anyone has experience with good, well run solicitors who can really fight my corner then I'd be very interested to know about it. I had known for many years of serious problems in pharma industry but I was shocked to the core by Peter Gotzsche's book. Probably the most important thing for me has been other examples of corruption. Transparency International is a very good organisation - https://www.transparency.org So at the moment I need to concentrate on getting financial compensation if I can. I do not have a proper place to live and need to buy my own property so I can move along with healing and helping other people. God bless.
  22. My college age daughter is now home with us after her first manic episode. We think she stopped sleeping due to Vyvanse, which is a stimulant she was prescribed for ADHD a few months ago. She swears it's the only thing that got her through school last semester, but that she'd told the dr the dose was too high. Anyway, even two weeks in the hospital didn't get her down from the mania, or even sleeping that well. They started with zyprexa, and just kept adding and adding things and discharged her. She's been adamant she doesn't want to take clonazepam, so have been cutting down that since she wasn't on it long. She's been out of hospital not quite one month, and saw an outpatient dr 3 times who gave instructions on how to reduce that and not to change more than one medication at a time. Unfortunately that dr moved away at the end of Feb, and there is a three week gap till she can see the dr taking over her care. She wasn't even out of mania yet. She has been sleeping A TON for about a week and a half, like 14-16 hours a day, and seems to be falling into depression. Her coordination and alertness has improved since cutting down the clonazepam. She's going to the rock climbing gym and writing songs. Anyway, I am wondering if there if more harm from leaving her on such a large dose of Zyprexa than there is dropping it down, since it's still early in the game and we don't seem to have any help. She's having hangry attacks every couple of hours, sometimes huge crying jags that only respond to food, and has always had huge blood sugar swings. I know being on three mood stabilizers makes it much much worse plus weight gain. I called the outpatient dr's nurse (who has never seen her), no answer back. I called the inpatient dr, they told me to call the outpatient. When her Dr moved away, I asked the desk what to do if she has a problem since this is critical stage, and they said go to the ER. Geez. BTW I have my own history of two manic episodes and pretty stable on lithium, although her ordeal took a toll on me too. After visiting the hospital twice a day I hugged my lithium like it was my bff.
  23. Hello fellow withdrawers (if that's a word), I'm Bokart and I'm here on a journey to quit my medication of Olanzapine. Down to 7,5 mg at the moment (see my signature). My story short: back in February 2015 I got admitted in psych ward due to psychosis (due to my destroyed sleep because of my night-shift work). There began my involuntary medication of Olanzapine, which pulled me out of a psychosis, so at least it did some good. I was released from the hospital after two weeks of being there. Now, after jojoing with my olanzapine dose (see signature), I'm finally set to quit it for good. I found this community after searching for succesfull withdrawal stories on the internet and found this community to be great, people being helpful and supportive and giving good advice... I know it can get rough when I approach smaller doses so I do know I will need support. And hopefully I can give support too and offer people hope after and during my taper. I know lots of people are in the same boat as me. Why I want to quit? I got no sexuality anymore, my motivation lacks big time, even personal hygiene is suffering because of that. I can't memorize things like before - learning is difficult. I have very little emotions left in me, basically I'm a dumbed down version of myself nowadays with this drug. I have little social skills - which I would badly need because I plan on working with children in school so some situational awareness is needed (I might have to quit my studies due to me making no progress in my studies... due to this drug). No happines, no enjoying things, lethargy and demotivation... About my psychosis, after it was gone I haven't had any symptoms of it returning (like delusions, paranoia, hallucinations), even after trying to quit my drug cold turkey once, which I see as a good sign. Now I don't want to slip into psychosis again so I need to be extra careful with my taper. After I hit 5,625 mg I will go on tapering by feeling, so no reductions until I feel stable enough. My main concern is sleep. I have a prescribed medication of temazepam (a benzodiazepine), which I can use when my insomnia has hit a threshold of needing immediate attention. I'm trying to limit my use of it to every three days to prevent tolerance and dependence (I know benzodiazepine withdrawals can be bad). But the thing is, lack of sleep led me to psychosis once, so it is a big deal to me. I need at least one night on a while to hit at least 4 hours of uniterrupted sleep, which 40 mg of temazepam does. I've tried many other sleep aids such as low to medium dose of quietiapine (no effect), low to medium dose of levomepromazine (didn't help), low dose of doxepine (no effect), even melatonine and l-tryptophan and 5-htp and none of those helped. One thing that helped me though was phenibut combined with temazepam - I slept 13 hours with that combination! So I know I have an emergency brakes on my train now (assuming that combination works again, haven't taken phenibut in 2 months to avoid tolerance and dependency), but I'm planning on limiting the use of this combination to once a month. On this dose of 7,5mg I'm currently having 2-3 hours of good uninterrupted sleep plus 3-4 hours of bad, constantly waking up kind of sleep So, thank you all for being here! And I wish a speedy recovery to those who are withdrawing from their drugs, we are all here together.
  24. Hi, ive been on Zyprexa 5 mg since November 27 2018 for a very stressful period in my life when I was suffering from high anxiety that caused chronic insomnia and some suicidal ideation i was on it for roughly 3 weeks after going through a difficult cross-country move, I managed to get myself off the drug, cutting from 5 to 2.5 to 0 within 2 weeks. from December 27th through January 4th of this year, I was drug free, feeling and sleeping great. then I got hit with another wave of external stress regarding a job opportunity in California (where I had just moved from) after 3 days of insomnia, my shrink advised me to go back on the drug. Dumb mistake. ive been on the drug since January 7th and have probably developed a physical dependence by now i want off this damn thing and I want my life back. 10 weeks shouldn’t make withdrawal has horrifying as I’ve seen it be for some people here Im mainly concerned with the insomnia. I have read threads where some people claimed success using gabbapentin and benzos to get through the sleeplessness, though I would probably just opt for the former. if anybody can share Zyprexa discontinuation success stories, please share. hoping to start cutting my dose this week.
  25. Hello, So I was switched from one Anti-Psychotic{s} (AP{s}) Zyprexa [Olanzapine], to another AP Abilify [Aripiprazole]. I decided to stop taking the medication between the switch as I've only been on Zyprexa for 3 months. APs have left my head as scrambled eggs and I cannot function clearly on them. Much too much Zombie. November I was put in hospital for a breakdown, given 5mg -> 7.5mg ->10mg Zyprexa over a month. Since leaving Hospital I agreed with a GP to reduce down to 5mg in one fell swoop, not knowing that this is actually very risky - since that point my sleep is not good; I seem to get only 3 hours per night and spend the remainder tossing, turning and feeling so incredibly low about life... It has been driving me slightly loopy. I reduced to 3.75/2.5mg (however I could cut them up semi-accurately) for one week and have now run out of Zyprexa except 2x 5mg tablets as the Dr switched me over and the supply ran out, so tapering is not an option.... Before I start a different AP I have decided to just stop taking APs while I have support in a family setting. I am unsure what the cut-down from 3.75mg to nothing will do to me after 3 months going from 5-7.5-10-5-3.75/2.5mg supply. I am extremely concerned having read countless horror stories. My breakdown in hospital was drug/alcohol induced but I lied about it and ended up on medication probably unsuited; I was just high and drunk. I do not feel like I have bipolarity, I do feel that the medication has made me zombified (anhedonic [sp*?]) and I am not myself anymore. Before the timeline gets too long I wanted to just stop and escape the trap of Pharma and APs. I wanted to try SSRIs for my lack of motivation especially after abuse of Cannabis (before hospital 2g/day of the super strong stuff) or just normalise without any medication to see if I can cope. The APs make it incredibly difficult to work effectively and I have been off work for too long to take something that will make concentration so difficult. This is a risk as I am unsure what the effect will be. So far I have Constipation and Amnesia after 3 hours every night. At 10mg I was sleeping most of the night; but the fallout in the mornings was awful. I have 7 days of sleeping pills prescribed to help me sleep - i might space them out to try and get a good nights rest every several days as I'm unsure if the GP (UK Doctor) will give me more. Any advice from people for me. I am taking a risk I feel but I do not know if there is another route out without prescriptions for the medicines to taper off. So the task is: ~3mg Zyprexa to 0mg (or use the 2x 5mg tablets somehow) 7x sleeping pills. Amnesia & constipation - early morning depression from 3am to 2pm. All advice welcome.
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