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  1. I started taking MMJ two years ago to help “manage” my anxiety so I could come off of 50 mg of Amitriptyline and .50 of Klonopin. My doctor was completely on board with this as he said it’s “natural” and really wanted me off Klonopin. This past February I ended up accidentally overdosing on MMJ and started to hallucinate. I was told my metabolism must have changed and that I would have to readjust the dose. Even in my state of mind I knew that was a horrible idea and CT’ed the MMJ. I had NO idea what I was doing or what was in store for me. I was put on 2 mg of Abilify and was told that it would help “speed the withdrawal process.” I never even decreased the Amitriptyline or Klonopin the entire time I took the MMJ. I was told after a month to just stop the Abilify. I can’t even attempt to describe the terror I felt the next two months. I had de realization, depersonalization, disordered thinking, panic attacks, it goes on and on. I didn’t sleep AT ALL the first month and then the second month I was getting 1-2 hours a night. I didn’t even know that it was physically possible to go that long without sleep. I developed paradoxical insomnia as well as a fear of insomnia. I stopped the Ability after one month. I decided by the third month I would taper the Amitriptyline since I initially took it for sleep and it wasn’t helping. Did I mention I had NO idea what I was doing? I went from 50mg to 6mg in two months. I honestly was about to throw in the towel at this point and go on an antidepressant but then found this site. I knew at this point I was in PAWS from MMJ but didn’t realize cutting the Amitriptyline this fast was a contributing factor. I thought that this was my “mental illness” coming back. I increased back to 10 mg in July and am holding steady. I am currently on 10 mg Amitriptyline and .50 mg Klonopin. Seven months later I still have a lot of issues. More importantly I have a lot of hope. I worked with a wonderful hypnotist and am at the point where I don’t worry about sleep. I eat well and exercise every day. I practice gratitude and am learning to live in the moment. I still wake up every 1-2 hours a night; most nights I fall back asleep and I am grateful for that. I’m learning to observe my thoughts and use my anxiety and fear as guides. I am already the strongest person I know. I’m only starting my journey but wanted to share early hope for those that may be struggling with acceptance. I also want to thank everyone on this site, you have been a part of my journey.
  2. Hello to all! I was tapered, over a period of two months w/doctor's help, off of venlafaxine xr, buspirone, trazadone, and abilify. I had taken venlafaxine xr and abilify for 7 years and the other two for 14 years. Prior to the venlafaxine and abilify, I was on lexapro for 7 years. Considering the multiple meds and number of years of having taken them, I believe that my doctor tapered me down much too quickly. What is a real kicker is that when I contacted her to tell her I was having terrible symptoms, she diagnosed me over the phone with allergies and told me to go see my GP for further help. I did that, and he said they were all withdrawal symptoms. He assured me that time will heal me. He advised me to drink a lot of water, get exercise, and a lot of sleep. It's been over 5 months now, and I'm still symptomatic although they have reduced in minute degrees of intensity. I go from always being sick to feeling sicker and then back to being sick. My symptoms include burning, stinging, tingling skin on my arms; hot flashes (did those years ago with menopause); insomnia; lack of energy and motivation; icy-cold feeling hands, lower legs, and feet; brain-freeze feeling in the right backside of my head; and sensations of being stabbed throughout my body. The skin sensations are constant. The only thing I take now is fish oil--nothing else. When I first went off the drugs I also had terrible, intense, insatiable itching. The more I scratched, the more I itched. That has subsided, thank goodness. Has anyone experienced any similar symptoms? If so, did they eventually disappear? Did you ever experience a window? So far, I don't think I've had one. I would appreciate any help.
  3. I started using Lustral 50 mg & Abilify 5 mg when it was 2012.I stopped taking my medicines for many times and I have never had any withdrawal effects on my body.But when it was 2016 Summer, after I stopped using them again (I didn't even know what tapering was in that time) I got a mania attack.It was like after 3-4 months of stopping my medicines cold turkey.After my first mania attack, my doctor thought that it was bipolar disorder and he wanted me to use Depakine.I refused using that medicine and i continued using Abilify + Lustral at same dosages.But when it was 2017 Summer, I did the same thing as I did when it was 2016 and I got a mania attack one more time.It was much more bad than the first one and I was feeling so anxious and even if I was feeling like there was no problem, I had to continue using my medicines because of my massive anxiety.My dose was always the same.I refused getting higher all the time.I was feeling like it was okay to stop using them abruptly because of the doses of my medicines.But I was completely wrong. After my second mania attack, my doctor asked me to use Depakine one more time because of my second attack.I guess he thought me that I was bipolar but I didn't have any mania history before I started using these medicines. Anyways, when it was 2018 January, after I used them for a while again, I stopped them abruptly one more time and I got withdrawal symptoms for the first time and I didn't even know it was withdrawal.I tried to go on like this for 2 months but I was feeling dizzy.I had to do something and that's why I decided to go to another psychiatrist.I tried to explain the thing I was suffering from but she couldn't understand what I was trying to say.She thought that I was anxious and depressed and she gave me Wellbutrin + Abilify 5 mg.I can't remember dose of Wellbutrin but I guess it was the lowest dose.After Wellbutrin made me angry and furious, she decided to change it to Prozac and I started to use Prozac + Abilify. It has been for 2 months like this and I started to have some jerky movements in my fingers and arms and I realized that there was a problem with my vision.(like blurred vision) I have high myopia and I've been using contact lenses for years maybe it was about it I don't know but my dizziness and light-headedness were gone.I can see now that it was about withdrawal and after she put me on these medicines I was feeling better even if these minor problems.But after 2 months I started to feel uncomfortable again and I stopped my medicines abruptly one more time. Unfortunately, I started to get the withdrawal effects again but I decided to continue like this even if I was suffering.(It was the biggest mistake which I made. ). There was no one who understood what was happening to me and I couldn't understand too.When I realized it was about withdrawal it was too late. I stopped using them when it was July 2018 and now it's April 2020.I couldn't get healed at all.I don't have anxiety or bipolar problems but I have problems with my muscles and my coordination.Jerky movements on my fingers are still on and got worse.My vision got worse too and they got worse gradually. I started to lose my hope about my healing process.What do you think about it? Is there a chance for me to get healed or is it a brain damage which is serious to get rid off? Your opinions are so important for me please let me know what you think about my situation. Thanks.
  4. Hello, I would like to ask you, how to prepare little doses from Zyprexa 5 mg Velotab. It weighs 16 mg, and my scale is to 1 mg. I am not so good in making liquid form We do not have 2,5 mg Zyprexa in the market. Thanks for advice..
  5. I have a lot of dental work that I need done. My molars are rotting and need to be pulled due to a 2 year spat of binging and purging (I stopped months ago....but no matter, the damage has been done). However, I am NOT in a good place right now for this. My body is still trying to adjust to 2 withdrawals. How do I deal with the pain that is to come?? I am freaking out right now and would love a friendly voice or two :(
  6. Hi! I will keep this post pretty plain for now, as my WD symptoms (the pains, mainly) make it hard to even use a computer for long. I will also try to make a short "signature" version of my history later today. When I was signing up, I was asked to provide a history of my case. I'm gonna paste it below. So, here goes. ---------------------------------------- All of the following changes/switches were done in 1-2 weeks each (except where otherwise noted). I.e., very quickly (which is bad). - Started Amisulpride 600mg and Escitalopram 30mg in 2014 for OCD. - In 2017 Amisulpride dose became 500mg. A few months after that, I developed tardive dystonia (cervical). - In 2018 autumn switched from Amisulpride to Abilify (about 15mg), to combat the dystonia. Indeed the movements stopped, but I was very sleepy (was taking lots of baclofen too). So I moved back to Amisulpride 500mg. - In 2019 february made another attempt at switching to Abilify (22.5mg). It was successful. But since then, I gradually developed disabling joint pain. - In 2019 (around July) reduced Abilify to 15mg, and nothing much changed. - In 2019 September switched from Escitalopram to Paroxetine (40mg) to combat the joint pain. Got a slight improvement in joint pain. Since the first day of Paroxetine, I began having eye problems. - About 3-4 weeks later I reduced Paroxetine to 20mg and Abilify to 7.5mg. Nothing much changed. - About a week later, I reduced Paroxetine to 15mg and Abilify to 3.75mg. Finally the joint pain was almost gone. - Soon, the joint pain reappeared so I started taking 4x3.75mg Abilify and since then, my joint pain is quite minor. - About 3-4 weeks later I switched (Cold Turkey) back from Paroxetine to Escitalopram (7.5mg) to combat the eye problems. That did not help, and I started getting disabling muscle cramps (in quadriceps). Then I found the "paroxetine withdrawal support" FB group. - About 4 days later, I switched (Cold Turkey) back from Escitalopram to Paroxetine (15mg), because of the cramps and because of what I learned from the FB group. - That didn't reduce the cramps. So I increased Paroxetine back to 20mg, which did help somewhat. - 1-2 weeks later, we're at the present moment (24 Dec 2019). ---------------------------------------- I'll be happy to communicate with you guys in order to help one another in this journey! In Facebook I'm actually afraid to help other people, because Facebook is too addictive with the "likes" and "loves" etc. Especially for lonely people like me. I hope this forum will be different in this regard!
  7. Hi,everyone. My name is Manny.my psiquiatrist wants me to reduce the cymbalta from 60 to 30 mgs. I know it is a 50% reduction.i should decrease only 10%.how do i taper off 10%? And how long it takes? Should i open the capsules and count the number of beads and remove that 10%? How do i ingest the 90% remaining? With water? With juice? Can i do water tritation? I take cymbalta 60,abilify 25,ativan 2.5,risperdal 7.5 mg.
  8. I made this account last year but for some reason I could never get this intro done or participate here until now. If I disappear ever, don't worry too much about me as I guess I'm just mentally incapable of following through with things or keeping in contact (maybe this is another withdrawal symptom... I don't know, my brain is ***** up right now) My (very abbreviated) history... In 2012 I was first prescribed Abilify to supplement my antidepressant. In September 2019 a new psychiatrist recommended I go off of it because of the risk of tardive dyskinesia. Two weeks after my last dose of Abilify, the akathisia hit me like a truck. I thought it was "restless legs but all over". I slept maybe two hours every OTHER night. After two weeks of this torture, I finally went to the doctor and asked her to help me with my "restless legs" and she prescribed carbidopa/levodopa, which didn't really work well, so then she prescribed Mirapex. It helped at the minimum dose, but not enough, so she increased the dose to 0.25mg, which is what I'm at today. In early 2020, the Mirapex caused a months long manic episode, after no prior history of mania, that I wasn't even aware was happening. In the midst of this, I was obsessed with figuring out what happened to me because restless legs didn't really seem to fit. Finally found akathisia, and presented this to my psychiatrist and she agreed with me about the diagnosis. She seemed doubtful that the mania was caused by Mirapex even though she had no alternative explanation, I'd never had mania before, and if you google medication-induced mania Mirapex is right there near the top of the list. Obviously I still think it was the Mirapex. The Mirapex never really took care of the akathisia completely, so since the beginning of this year I've been using medical cannabis to help because it helps me sleep through the breakthrough akathisia at night, and it does help a little at keeping it away too. The past two years have been miserable. I feel like my mind hasn't been the same since. I can't focus, I can't get anything done, I can't properly socialize... I'm just not the same. I've since attempted to taper both sertraline (my antidepressant) and Adderall, though I did it mostly at the advice of my psychiatrist. She never agrees with me about how slowly I want to taper, and I probably should have tapered the sertraline and Adderall WAY more slowly. Currently... I'm down to one medication now (plus cannabis). At my last appointment with my psychiatrist, I requested to start tapering Mirapex. She agreed and told me to take one and a half pills (instead of my normal dose of two). I proposed the slower way by using liquid but she said that the full dose is so tiny already that half a pill should do nothing to me. I knew she was wrong but I don't really have much fight in me, so tried it. Of course, that was way too large of a jump and I can't sleep now the akathisia is so bad. I don't know if this counts as withdrawal from Mirapex itself, or if the akathisia is just coming back because I'm reducing the medication that's keeping the akathisia away. I don't want Mirapex anymore because I think it's still messing with my brain (even though I'm not longer manic), which she doesn't believe it is either. Maybe my brain is just broken from the Abilify, sertraline, and Adderall still. I just want to be me again. I'm going to be trying the 10% reduction per month with Mirapex. Hopefully my psychiatrist agrees but if she doesn't I'm just going to ask for my original dose back and do it anyway. Any and all advice is super appreciated. I have no idea what's the withdrawal and what's just me and my stupid nervous system anymore, but here's what I'm concerned about right now: akathisia the (probably) inevitability of Mirapex augmentation my executive function is approximately at zero right now I'm really depressed I want to keep up with/help my family more and actually be able to work/do my job and honestly just keep up with daily life like caring properly for my pets and not living in the most cluttered non-hoarder apartment you've ever seen. I feel like I'm missing a bunch of stuff because I feel absolutely awful and the explanation above doesn't feel like it properly describes that but oh well... Questions (In no particular order) If you're familiar with Mirapex, is the 10% per month thing the right way to go? Is there any hope that I'll be able to get off of Mirapex completely? Do you have any self-care tips to make this easier on myself and my body? Are there any supplements I should add to my routine that could help? Any tests for deficiencies that I should get just to make sure I'm not low on something? Would starting to exercise help me or just add more chaos to my system? I'll probably have more questions later but it's still hard to think so I guess I'll leave this for now
  9. Hi, I am a 27 year old male in India working as an engineer in a telecom company. At start of the year I had a brief psychotic breakdown from work related stress and consulted a psychiatrist. I was on olanzapine aripiprazole and fluoxetine. After a couple of months on the meds I started to notice that I was getting significantly worse and could not do my job properly, my mind became clouded and I was unable to think and slow to react. I started drooling in my sleep and hairloss began. In panic I decided to stop all medication cold turkey. The immediate withdrawal symptom was that I began to sleep 12-14 hours a day and getting off bed seemed next to impossible. Then slowly the tragedy began to unfold after a month or so. I started feeling so weak that I could hardly ever get off bed and go to office. Hunger vanished and I hardly managed two meals a day. Then I found out that music became unappealing so did movies and everything else including exercise that used to provide me relief from stress. I lost all interest in the opposite sex, cannot even masturbate to porn anymore.Orgasms are not pleasurable and sensitivity in my genitals is close to null. I am now basically an asexual being with nothing that gives me pleasure. Suffered severe weight loss. I feel trapped inside unable to react to the outside world. I have spent the last month searching for various means of suicide on the internet as I have nothing to look forward to in life. If you can't enjoy anything and always lie in bed life is not worth living. Also there's no chance of me being in a relationship or getting married. I can no longer hang out with friends, considering how different I have become from them, and can't enjoy anything. PSSD has made me more anxious than ever, with libido crashing to zero.
  10. Hello ! I was given an Asperger Disorder + Transient Psychotic Depressive episode as a young adult while being under huge stress related to work/studies and a dire financial situation all while living abroad in a foreign city. At first i was given psychiatric medication to "clean-up" my thought process of delusional content and calm my severe anxieties. The doctors who started my medication were clear you're going to take this medication for a number of years then you'll go back to your normal life. This "going back to normal life" never happened due to my actual psychiatrist ,who did the 2->5 Phases The medication reduction was a "success" at every step : Risperdal 4 mg +Abilify 30 Mg : 9 Months Switch to Abilify 30 Mg : 6 Months Abilify 15 Mg: 9 Months Abilify 10 Mg: 9 Months Abilify 5 Mg: 35 Months today i'm 100% healed,no trace of any delusional thought and no hint of depression i'm as in good mental health as one can be but i struggle everyday due to medication as my cognitive abilities are strongly reduced (even during illness i could read a novel in an afternoon now it takes me several days to finish a 500-page book and i can't enroll in classes as even my ancient writings look like chinese to my dulled mind ) My actual dose is the" very low" dose of Aripiprazole 5 mg (he insists on that) for more than 3 years and no amount of discusssion with the psychiatrist would change his mind as he unconsciouscly thinks my mind,like all his patient's minds are irreversibly broken,even now he seriously says to me that Asperger disorder is included into psychotic illness hence treatment (which is WRONG but i have no power to overturn his harsh opinions) This very low dose is sufficient to crush my ability to write and read computer code and to complete university work the only thing i can do i some basic reading and i depend on my aging parents for a living (if one of them dies i'm on the streets) I want to go further in life and continue my studies but i am given no chance. I need all your help and data on Abilify 5 mg withdrawal . Tomorrow i'm going to see a new psychiatrist,wish me luck !
  11. Hello: I am here after a person on another forum (BenzoBuddies) alerted me to the existence of this one when I queried if anyone there had experience with tapering/eliminating Aripiprazole (Abilify). I am currently working on titrating down from the Clonazepam I have been taking. I have hopes of eliminating all the medications listed in my signature, in time. Once I have eliminated the Clonazepam, I would next like to work on the aripiprazole, then the Mirtazapine. I have only very occasionally used the alprazolam. So, I do not see that as a real hurdle. There is an erroneous date listed in my signature. It should be 2012. If someone could guide me in editing it, I would sure appreciate it. It was kind of a mystery just to create it. I hope to find some useful information and encouragement here. I did a big drop of the Clonazepam (50%) on September 19, as instructed by my doctor. Withdrawal symptoms were uncomfortable, but not terrible. Days 1-3 met me with needing a bit more time falling asleep. Days 15-21 met me with some irritability, headache (most days), one night of insomnia, a few days of mild depression and some free-floating anxiety. Day 22 and onward, the aforementioned symptoms were gone and I was feeling better than what was my normal self. I am glad for this. After reading a lot of information (Professor Ashton's manual & on the BenzoBuddies forum), I decided to continue with reducing the Clonazepam at a rate of 25% every 14 days. Yes, I know it is more than recommended (5-10%), but I believe I am capable of proceeding at this rate and take comfort in the fact that I can always adjust my dosing, if needed. My dose tonight will be ~.4700. When I began taking the medications (in 2001), I was diagnosed with PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder (without psychotic symptoms). I did spend some time in a psychiatric hospital (~3.5 weeks), during which time several different medications were tried/thrown at me. I don't remember all of them (prozac & paxil, are two that were tried...). I did not take any but the Clonazepam longer than a few days/weeks. Oh, except lamictal. I took that for about 6 months (in 2001). Almost forgot about that one. A couple other antidepressants were tried just before I began taking the Mirtazapine in 2010: Effexor, Celexa and Trazadone. They all made me feel loopy, so I rejected them. Sleep is what I needed and the Mirtazapine helped to deliver that. The Abilify was a depression add-on which did seem to give me an overall improved affect/mood. Since 2001, I have remained steadfastly committed to and deeply engaged in an in-depth therapeutic relationship (with a couple practitioners). As a result, I have achieved a complete psychological, emotional and spiritual make-over. Over the course of the past couple years, I have questioned if I really have a need to continue taking the medications, for I simply am not the same person I was 17 years, 10 years, 5 years or even 1 year ago. It is my deep hope and desire that I will eliminate the medications. It will be very nice to see who I am today, without the medications. That's my history, in a nutshell. Cleerity
  12. Hello everyone, I don’t even know where to start. My 19 years old girlfriend was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, depression and OCD in 2015 when she was 13 years old. She was also hospitalized 3 times. We’re together for 9 months. This month, roughly month after tapering off Cipralex, my girlfriend started having, which I think are withdrawal symptoms (suicidal ideation, really bad anhedonia, drowsiness, sometimes pressure like feeling on the whole head). She told me she experienced anhedonia even in year 2018 after mental “downfall” (complete fall to the depression and suicidal black hole) after cold turkeying Zoloft and Abilify (don’t remember the dosage, haven’t taken those regularly) and feelings haven’t come back since, maybe only briefly. Before that she normally felt every emotion. She had psychiatric appointment yesterday and she’s supposed to start taking Abilify again, which I don’t know it’s a good idea with the cocktail she already have. Her psychiatrist also said, there’s possibility of her not taking these drugs the whole lifetime and also said the tapering Cipralex wasn’t that fast while simultaneously starting Brintellix (vortioxetine). I just want her to be happy and help. I don’t know how to help her with getting her feelings back and whether that’s still a WD symptom after 2018 fall. The thing she’s deeply sad about the most is the emotional numbness. She’s also experiencing loss of libido from year 2018. I have a hope she doesn’t have to take those drugs forever, but don’t know whether she should start tapering them now or not or maybe later? Is Abilify a good idea? Is emotional numbness caused by the pills or rather withdrawal? Any advice on what to do is greatly appreciated. Thank you bunch, everyone.
  13. Hi I started a atypical antipsychotic drug abilify 10mg for anxiety and irritability for the first time 2 months ago. I had a adverse reaction to it and developed akathisia. So I stopped the ablify immediately, but still had lingering akathisia form the abilify, So I decided to self medicate with mirtazapine 30mg morning and night to help subside the symptoms. I continue to do this for one week. As far as I knew it was a sleeping pill that my psychiatrist pribscribed me months ago that I never bothered to take. He just said do you want something to help you sleep? Anyway once the akathisia went away, I stopped the mirtazapine the same time, and About one week later I developed severe withdrawals. I decided to ride out the withdrawals up until week 6 until I couldn't take no more. So I decided to reinstate. My question is..... is it to late to reinstate, what dosage should I start on, and how long does it take to stabilize? I dont bother asking my psychiatrist because he doesn't believe you get withdrawals.
  14. Hi, I'm not sure where to start...but here's where I am: Following a successful 2 year taper of Abilify, I tried to do the same with Wellbutrin. I had the impression that it would be a much easier taper, so went faster: 4 months. I know I made many mistakes, but am wanting badly to get my life back. To start, I know I went too fast. About a month after I stopped, I fell into depression and anxiety -- nothing like what I had before I started meds. In any case, life got rough and I just wanted things to get back to "normal". Reinstated 3 weeks later, and unfortunately to my original dose of 300 (at my psychiatrist's recommendation), then down to 225 and am there now. My primary symptom is anxiety, which has been pretty constant. I've been taking no more than 1mg Ativan daily to help. To throw more into the mix, I start TMS treatment last month (April 22), again at my psychiatrist's recommendation. As I look into things more, I realize I maybe experiencing "kindling" by reinstating too high. I just met with my psychiatrist, handed him a printout of "What I have learnt from helping thousands of people taper off antidepressants and other psychotropic medications" (https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2045125321991274), and tried to explain kindling to him. He's generally been supportive of my attempts to taper, but he didn't go along with the idea of "kindling". Instead, he believes that I've relapsed, and that it's coincidental that this occurred while I was tapering the Wellbutrin. He suggest that I go back to adding Abilify, but there's no way I'm going to. I'm here to ask for a couple of things. First, an idea of what I can expect going forward with my current dose of Wellbutrin, when and if it'll ever "kick in". (I'm scared to my bones that it never will -- and that of course just adds to my anxiety). Secondly, and this might be a fantasy, but are there any psychiatrists who understand these things? (tapering, discontinuation syndrome, kindling, etc). Cost is not a factor right now -- I just want my life back. If there's anyone in the San Francisco Bay Area (or anywhere via zoom) who could take me through this, I would do just about anything to meet. Thank you sincerely for any help I can get... --C
  15. Driksdog

    Driksdog: PSSD

    Hi guys! I want to indruce my self. Spend a few month on Pssd servers and forums. Short story. I had somatization and the sick docs gave me prozac 20 mg. I quit after 2 weeks because I was scary. In the next 6 month I earned symptoms I never had. Also sexual sides and anxiety spikes. I still thought it's my sickness but also was not sure about Pssd. When I told it my pdoc she said this doesn't exist and I have crazy ideas about my body. She gave me abilify 2.5 mg. This stuff finally killed the rest of me. I was very suicidal so I tried to save my life with Moclobemid and lithium. I am still alive and out of meds for 7 month. Saw a few improvements. But my life is destroyed. Lost my job and relationship. Greetings dog Sorry IAm not a native speaker
  16. Hi. I started Lexapro roughly 15 years ago, 20mg, for anxiety/panic attacks. I did fine on it (although I experience emotional numbness). Toward the beginning of this year, the Lexapro seemed to stop being effective/stopped working, as I was experiencing some depression. The psychiatrist (assistant) added Abilify toward the end of May. It didn't seem to work, so I was advised to stop it at end of June. He then told me to stop my Lexapro all together and start Cymbalta 30mg immediately. I listened and did this on 7/4/2020. I plummeted into withdrawal hell (unable to function/bedridden) On 7/16/20, he upped the dose to 60mg. The withdrawal hell continued. On 8/3/2020, the doctor agreed that I should restart my Lexapro 20mg, and told me to immediately stop the Cymbalta. I did. Withdrawal continued. On 8/19/2020, Wellbutrin (generic), 150mg was added. Started seeing different psychiatrist's office. On 8/29/2020, Rexulti 0.5mg was added, and Wellbutrin name brand was prescribed. I was able to gain some energy, but my anxiety went through the roof, along with heart palpitations. On 9/9/20 Rexulti was stopped. On 9/24/2020, Lexapro upped to 30mg. On 9/27/2020, Wellbutrin stopped. Currently, I am having debilitating migraines headaches every day, depression/feeling overwhelmed (especially in the morning - including suicidal thoughts never had before), nausea, severe brain fog/forgetfulness, fatigue, irritability, crying, and a general feeling of sickness. I started taking a multivitamin, B vitamin pill, iron/folic acid (low on iron), magnesium and Omega fish oil. Although everything is hard to do, I have managed to take care of my young son (ie. meals, drop off and pick up from school, etc.) I am unable to work at the moment, but I am expected back soon. My goal is to get off all antidepressants now, but I am struggling, so I am thinking that I need to stabilize before weaning off of Lexapro (that I just upped, ugh). I would really appreciate any help and/or guidance, as I feel like I'm going crazy and feel defeated ... I really wish that I found this site sooner. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. 2005 - Lexapro 20mg for anxiety/panic attacks End of June 2020 – started Abilify 15mg 7/4/2020 – Stopped Lexapro and started 30mg Cymbalta 7/16/2020 – Increased Cymbalta to 60mg 8/3/2020 – Restarted Lexapro 20mg and stopped Cymbalta 60mg 8/19/2020 – Started Wellbutrin XL 150mg – generic 8/29/2020 – switched to Name brand Wellbutrin, same dose 8/29/2020 – started Rexulti 0.5mg 9/9/2020 – stopped Rexulti 9/24/2020 - Lexapro increased to 30mg 9/27/2020 - Wellbutrin stopped
  17. I'm feeling pretty ill and dizzy and I want to know how to cut abilify tablet the proper way, I know how to calculate the amount. I have a pill cutter from the pharmacy, but when I cut the tablet it's not accurate at all. It's not even and it crumbles. I can buy a recommended digital scale linked from another thread here, but I'm not sure if I should crush the tablet or cut it to use it with a scale and how to get the most accurate amount of powder or pill pieces to my mouth from the scale without losing some of it Please excuse me if my question is answered before, but I'm feeling ill and getting more Ill from not finding the answer. If it's already answered somewhere you can just copy the response to my answer. I can't seem to ask a question in the tapering forum inside the threads so if you can move it for me please do so. Best regards.
  18. Hi I'll start by telling that I never wanted to take psychiatric drugs. But when I was hospitalized for "major depression and dissociation" they put me on this tragic road. After that life was never really life for me again. I am currently taking quetiapine 50 mg at night, because my NS is so damaged I almost don't sleep naturally. This apparently lets me sleep from 3 to 6 hours most nights. I don´t know how I would withdraw from this as not sleeping is the one torture I (and anyone) cannot withstand. The reason I'm writing now here, is I'm currently going to a psychiatrist (who works with Open Dialogue), he says I would be benefited by taking more drugs and does not acknowledge the adverse effects as being worrisome ("the people who get damaged are the ones on high doses for a long time"). My situation is so bad that he says they would reduce suffering and somehow allow me to do things to get well. But I can´t believe this, and I'm frightened and know that I'm probably stepping into conditions I nor my NS can take. 7/6/21 he gave me escitalopram 10 mg (to go up to 20) and aripiprazol 5 mg (to go up to 10) "switch the quetiapine for the aripiprazol". The first night I took this I vomited twice and did not sleep at all. I thought it was a mistake to just stop the quetiapine, told him and he said ok, it seems to help you sleep, we'll reduce it gradually (which is likely a month or less, as he's adviced before) Next day took the escitalopram earlier to divide the hit on the stomach and soon as I took the rest, vomited again. He was unalarmed of course, said the system has to get used to it and told to take aripiprazol in the morning, and later the others. Yesterday hours after the morning, on the street felt the same sensation as I was gonna vomit, but tried to avoid it and walked. I felt burning heat in the chest and stomach and then waves of freezing cold in my head too. It passed. I didn't take the rest and don´t want to. I don´t know what to do and how to tell him this is wrong and likely going to harm. I feel the more side effects I have to endure and then the effects I'll just turn into a complying thing "dealing" with all this, until I can´t take anymore, once again, but this time with a hardly functioning NS and already destroyed life experience. I'd appreciate if you can give me an honest opinion about the danger of taking these drugs. And maybe a suggestion of something well articulated I can give him to read to maybe start seriously considering the inhuman experiences these substances put us through, not only in high doses. Thank you for reading, it ended up quite long. I hope you are finding some wellbeing and meaning, take care.
  19. Hello, I really appreciate seeing everyone's stories and strategies, and it helps to know that I'm not alone. I am in my late 20s and have been on and off many meds since a hospitalization for depression in 2005. By fall of 2016, when I started the “taper”, I was on 4 medications: Cipralex 20mg, Adderall 30-40 mg, Abilify 2mg and Wellbutrin SR 200 mg. The first 3, I think I was taking for around 2 years after numerous failed treatments including various meds and rTMS; however, I have been taking the Wellbutrin for 12 years. On that regimen of 4, from something like 2014-2016, my mood was generally in-check but my life was beginning to fall apart. I graduated and got a full time job in the summer of 2016, but I was having horrible energy crashes randomly during the day. Sometimes I couldn't keep my eyes open or stay seated. I struggled socially. My memory and attention were affected, and I would cry randomly. I had trouble believing it could be from the meds because they were supposed to do the opposite. In Sept 2016, I was off work and on disability. It was an incredibly confusing situation, and everyone, including myself, blamed my brain. Soon after that I began having a gradual and profound shift in perspective as I realised that meds may have been more of a problem for me than a solution. At some point in the fall of 2016, I started my withdrawal journey. First, I stopped the Cipralex over a few weeks, and became incredibly anxious. It was really horrible; I would get spells of pacing and yelling at myself. I couldn't meditate or do anything to calm down anymore. After a few months of that, I then tapered the adderall over around a month. At that point, I became really exhausted, was getting frequent (but not ER level) suicidal thoughts, and had trouble doing anything. I eventually got accepted for a volunteer job to which I had previously applied, and reinstated half of the adderall to function. However, I was scared that the tolerance crashes might come back, so my doc switched me to Vyvanse 20-30 mg. It was smoother but I was still concerned that it was not a long-term solution. I finished the volunteer job, then I read about things that other people had tried and decided to do some lifestyle changes. I stopped sugar and gluten and got outside a lot. Then I tapered both the vyvanse and the abilify at the same time over around 2 months. It was not as bad this time, and after a few more months off of them, I was mostly able to concentrate and wasn't getting very many dark thoughts. My emotional depth and variety, as well as cognition, were even beginning to improve. Once I could sort of focus again, I decided to try the paleo/keto diet and taper the wellbutrin. The problem with wellbutrin is that I have unsuccessfully tried to stop it numerous times over the past decade by following the traditional taper advice. Each time ended with me falling into an awful depression a few weeks later, and eventually back onto the med. I had been convinced that this was evidence of a chronic underlying depression, but now reading other people's stories, I'm going to be optimistic and assume that it was delayed withdrawal. So, I felt a little better on the paleo diet and dropped the WB dose from 200 mg to 100 mg on Oct 25, 2017 (right before I found this forum). I then became very sluggish with low motivation, but after a few weeks I was able to get out of bed in the morning again and do a few things. It's been 5 weeks now and no terrible-delayed-withdrawal-depression yet. I'm mostly just tired with trouble getting started on tasks. I asked for an extension on my leave from work to finish sorting this out. Surprisingly though, my difficulty connecting with people and obsessive thinking are improving in intermittently - I'm not sure yet if that's from going off the meds or from the changes in diet, but I greatly welcome it. By reading other people's success stories here, I learned that my best chance at becoming free from the Wellbutrin is to do the rest of my taper extremely slowly. I have an appointment with my doc next week to make a plan. This doc is good so it should go okay. I would be interested to hear anything from you!
  20. Hi everyone so I was recently kinda of fast removed from abilify due to restlessness switched to seroquel is it safe. To taper like a step down or should I wait awhile and then taper honestly wish I didn't start a second one
  21. hello and thanks for your brilliant forum. I was only on the aripiprazole injection for two months and felt sure I could handle the cold turkey as I managed fine last year coming off the tablets (which I was only on for two months too) I've been off for three months (four months since last injection). the withdrawal has been horrendous and am suffering daily with deep depression and zero emotion beyond anxiety, fear, guilt and all that bad stuff. I am utterly exhausted at all times. is it normal to be suffering so long after being on it for so short? Has anyone else had experience of coming off this drug and coming through? I am scared that it had damaged my brain and I will never be my normal self again.
  22. HI everybody, I am on a monthly injection of Abilify and have so far had 4 shots.. I am on an ITO that I managed to get on whilst I was in a drug rehabilitation. They diagnosed me with 'drug induced psychosis' after being in the rehab for several weeks. This was because I was spending my money on buying filtered water on our grocery shopping trips as there is fluoride in the tap water and I have my own opinion on certain "conspiracies" about fluoride, chem-trails, New World Order, shadow government etc... I did talk alot about these topics to the friends I had made in the and next minute I was sent to the Young Adult Acute Ward. I spent 5 weeks there as they assessed me. As soon as I arrived there they put me on Xyprexa which I refused to take. Each time they attempted to give me medication I refused. I spoke to the 'Independent patient Rights' guy and he said because I was there involuntary there was not much I can do. So that is how I was put on this ITO. It took 5 nurses to hold me down for my first injection. Now I just suck it up because I know there is nothing I can do even though I can feel the poison inside of me and know what it does to me. It has robbed the best part about me. My creativity. My spirituality. My quirkiness. It has taken away who I am. I can feel it. I used to love writing poetry and struggled to put the pen down... Now I sit there with a pen in my hand and a blank mind. I can't get out of bed until 5 in the afternoon now unless I really force myself which makes me feel faint. I have put on weight (I have an eating disorder so this does really effect me mentally) I feel zombified! Is there anything I can do about this?!
  23. I've been on antipsychotics for nearly 20 years after I had a psychotic breakdown whilst I was taking an antedepressant and experiencing several major life stressors. I've tried to withdraw numerous times but have always become psychotic very quickly. My memory has been affected, I now have diabetes and my weight soared as I put on 10 stone. I'm here because several people recommended this site. I currently take 300mg amisulpride plus medication for diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
  24. Cigarettes at age 11. Alcohol periodically from age 13 to age 30. Valium episodically from age 18 to age 27. I have been on myriad anti-depressants since 1982 for major depression and generalized anxiety. Imipramine, desyrel, ativan. Off drugs from 1984 till 1995. Started Prozac 1995 till 2014 (did well from 1995 to 2011). Tried Wellbutrin, Cymbalta. Abilify and Trintellix from March 2014 till August 8, 2017 (depression free). Had to withdraw due to cervical dystonia and tremors which still persist. Terrible experience withdrawing from Abilify and Trintellix. Started Wellbutrin 150 mg. and Prozac 10 mg. for one week to help with withdrawal. Then increased Wellbutrin to 300 mg. and experienced ringing in ears; stopped the Wellbutrin and increased Prozac to 20 mg. (10 in A.M.; 10 in P.M.) Now on Prozac 20 mg. per day, occasional Propranolol for tremors (doesn't help). I've read that coming off Abilify can take up to 3 months or more, and it has been 2 months so far. I feel like I've spent (wasted) my entire adult life trying to feel better, first by self-medicating, then by psychiatric medicating. I'm 72 years old. I wonder if there is any hope for me.
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