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  1. Just doing my intro post - I've been diagnosed as having treatment resistant depression and have accepted now that any beneficial effects of the venlafaxine I've been on since January 2009 have ended. I also have some pretty debilitating anxiety disorders - both a mix of genetics (several members of my family have depression too) and life experience of childhood trauma from an abusive parent and bullying throughout school. The doctor has started my tapering with a month of taking 300mg (normal dose) one day, then 225mg the next, then 300mg again, etc. I've been referred to a new psychiatrist so hopefully we can talk more about withdrawing safely. I've been pretty sad lately, so it's kind of a miracle I managed to get to the doctor at all. So far, my withdrawal symptoms have been limited to bad dreams and stomach/gut pains - I know from past idiocy where I forgot to get prescriptions filled in time that diarrhoea is one of the fun side effects of WD, so I think that may be next. Or the sweating. The worst bit, though, is the dreams. They're really intense and horrible, and trigger my anxiety. It's like the drugs are angry I'm coming off them, and know all my buttons to press... or maybe these thoughts are always there and the lack of drug is just exposing them. Anyway, I'm also seeing a psychotherapist who is lovely, so I have an outlet once a week, and my best friend knows I'm doing this, too, and has offered her support. Sending you all love, peace and puppies x
  2. I am new to this site and and am seeking others' experiences and observations. I just had a private conversation with a member (we then agreed to keep ourselves to the site to help educate others). She revealed to me she had been abused in her past. I am opening up this topic because I had been too, and see this experience (childhood physical abuse) as the root cause of my major depressive disorder and PTSD. I went on meds (far too many, of course -- why I am here) because I have had these "disorders" (whatever you wish to call them) since childhood. I am wondering what role my early history of abuse has played in my protracted withdrawal (disautonomia). Basically, I am trying to understand the quandary of how and why I got on so many meds in the first place. I am wondering whether there are some "markers" that may indicate why some people can successfully be on meds (or just one) for a limited time, while others of us are not as responsive and therefore go on more and more with the result that many of us are now experiencing. To be more clear -- I clearly have had more than my share of trauma, which in itself has negatively affected my autonomic nervous system. I was depressed episodically for many years before I ever went on meds. This site seems to focus on what happens once we take them. However, why did many of us go on them in the first place, and why were we treatment resistant to the point where we were overmedicated? Yes, the drug industry and psychiatric "community" promote and practice overmedication and have an "additive" philosophy. However, I am trying to reach inside myself and to others to see why we here might have been far less able to respond to single medications at relatively low doses. What role does early trauma play in "treatment resistant depression?" As noted in my history, I was recovering well from Parkinsonism (NOT Parkinsons -- some people have misinterpreted this in an earlier post) I had just the symptoms without the disease -- all disappeared when I went off six meds cold turkey bwecause of severe allergic reactions). Yet, after six months my autonomic nervous system is even more out of control. I was doing so well until six weeks ago, and now have a plethora of new symptoms -- profound insomnia, excessive thirst, neuropathies, as well as persistent, severe GERD (had this since I withdrew), and new severe depression. Am I unusually susceptible to all this because of the life-long stresses on my autonomic nervous system? Scarier still: am I less likely to recover? (I turned 61 yesterday -- I did have a lovely birthday, and an excruciating night -- exerted myself too much I think). So chicken and egg -- do (did) many of us here have a history of trauma/abuse that led us to overmedication and/or real difficulty in withdrawal? Thanks so much everyone.
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