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  1. Hi guys, sorry this may be a long post, I think it is okay to share my story on this. I am 21 years old, a college student about to graduate, and I have been on an SSRI for about 5 years now. I was diagnosed with ADHD and GAD when I was about 12, I have always been somewhat anxious and had issues with regulating my emotions. In 2013 my girlfriend broke up with me and I was really sad and feeling hopeless. After a few months of being down and also anxious, my doctor (pediatrician) decided to put me on 5mg of Lexapro. The Lexapro seemed to help (I think?) and I recovered somewhat quickly. Over the next few years, however, my doctor fluctuated my dosage quite a bit. I would get anxious, he would up my dosage, and then I would become a zombie and he would lower it. It did seem to blunt my emotions on a high dose. Other than that it was fine. However, the summer after my freshman college, I became extremely anxious and had an existential crisis, prompting my doctor to change me over to Zoloft and Trazodone. When starting Zoloft, I took 50mg and worked up to 100mg. It possibly helped my anxiety but my emotions became blunted again (or maybe it was depression?). I did not feel hopeless or sad, but I kind of lost the ability to have pleasure over simple things. After going through a hard time on Zoloft and Trazodone feeling empty and dull, my doctor and I decided to taper off to see if that would help. Every time I tapered, we would allow three weeks to go by to see if it helped. I went from 100mg to 75mg to 50mg to 25mg and eventually to nothing. Every time I lowered, I felt a little more in touch with my emotions. With the Trazodone, I stopped cold turkey on a dose of 50mg. When I went completely off of the Zoloft and Trazodone, I started having crying episodes, brain zaps, insomnia, anxiety, occasional anhedonia/brain fog, and severe social anxiety. After a month or two, all of these symptoms went completely away (except sometimes the anhedonia/brain fog). I was doing good and feeling very in touch with my emotions. After a few months off of the Zoloft though, the school year was coming back around, and the girl I had been dating for 2 years broke up with me unexpectedly. It devastated me and left me feeling sad and hopeless. I was crying all of the time, I was thinking about her all of the time, losing the ability to feel pleasure, and had anxiety because I still saw her every day. This continued on through the semester and I went home for winter break feeling depressed and anxious. I was feeling brain fog/anhedonia, and lost overall enthusiasm for life. It got bad enough that I knew I needed help, so I started talking to a therapist (I had seen a few before this one) and it was helping. I still was depressed, but was slowly improving. I started taking Adderall again to study for a certification exam over the break and this helped boost my mood tremendously. It cleared my mind, helped with the brain fog/anhedonia, and made me feel a little more peaceful inside (less racing thoughts). My psychiatrist decided he wanted me to take Trintellix and put me on a 5mg dose. I went back to school feeling down and anhedonic again. All the progress I made during seemed to start disappearing. I stopped taking the Adderall, and once the Trintellix seemed to start working I started becoming extremely anxious. I felt extreme depersonalization, started having weird sensory problems (visual snow, eye floaters, tinnitus, and my body started fluctuating between feeling tingly and numb) and was scared. My doctor upped my dose of Trintellix to see if that would help. I ended up taking Ativan to help with the anxiety. I was feeling less anxious but still had the sensory/depersonalization problems. Not to mention, my emotions went away again. The Ativan lowered my anxiety but made me feel completely dull and emotionless. I ended up tapering off of it and feeling better after a few months, but having a lot more anxiety/sensory issues. Since this (which was earlier in the summer), I started taking Adderall because I read a lot and it seemed my problems were kind of related to Adult ADHD. I always feel internally restless and have a hard time focusing, and taking therapeutic doses (20 mg or lower) seem to calm me down and clear my mind. Not to mention, it helps with my emotional regulation problem. Overall my academics and state of mind are improving. I have lowered the Trintellix from 20mg to 10mg over two months. I have had more sensory problems and anxiety since lowering the medicine, but it seems my emotions are slowly coming back. Every now and then, I get a nostalgic feeling that reminds me of what life used to feel like. It gives me hope. But I have been so up and down for the past 5 years, I am sick of feeling so unstable. I want to have emotions again and not deal with brain fog/anhedonia and anxiety for the rest of my life. I didn't have the former problem until taking medicine. I want the sensory problems to be gone. They only started after I started taking Trintellix. I need help with tapering off I think. Does anyone have any advice for me? I want to learn to treat my depression and anxiety in natural ways, and learn to regulate my emotions better. I want to believe I can live without taking medicine for these issues, because they only seem to exacerbate them. Do I have any hope of being stable again? I always feel uneasy inside and am constantly trying to distract my mind from this. I am sick of being anxious about these weird symptoms, everyone thinks I am crazy and writes me off. Will slowly tapering help this? I long for a day that I am not constantly thinking about being better, and can handle life's ups and downs. I am not wanting to be perfect, just to be able to not always think and worry about my mental health. I am always worrying about exercising enough, meditating enough, sleeping enough, eating well enough, and lowering stress enough. I think my issues could be related to tons of different things, but it is so hard to tell when you are put on medicines that only seem to compound the issue. School has been a big source of stress/anxiety and I am almost done, so I really want to take the time to improve my physical/mental/emotional/spiritual state of mind so life is not always this rocky. Thanks for listening, sorry this was so long.
  2. I am currently on 20 mg of Adderall XR and 10 mg of Trintellix. I have been on a steady dose of both for 4 months and think I am ready to try to go down in both. Does any have any suggestions? I have no idea which to taper first. I am so sick of the brain fog I want to taper the antidepressant first, but I am not sure what interactions may occur. Could I get serotonin syndrome with this? I see that both inhibit CYP2D6, which increases each others' side effects and increases risk of serotonin syndrome. I'd really appreciate some advice, because my psychiatrist doesn't know much about it, and is not much of a help at all. I am just ready to do this the right way and feel emotions/motivation again.
  3. I don't know......I am practice posting. At present I am about 5 days off Adderal, 2.5 mg. It feels alot like when I finally came off Lexapro......I was down to 3 mg. and they took me off of it completely in October while I was in the hospital........meanwhile started up on the Adderal and still am on Trileptal 150mg. x2/day. Anyway mostly upper back achiness now.......total demotivation as anything is stressful and am just working for staying calm, fluids, eating, sleep. A conversation by phone once in awhile. Pay the bills. Accept help when I can. So maybe I am somewhat on topic. Not sure I could list all the meds. that I have withdrawn from yet........someday soon. I just wanted to be around people that get it..........and find the hope and strength again. You know.......I believe in God(although a God that accepts my anger sometimes), but even more so in a universal strength to be found in others. Anyway.......thankful for my journey in a way.......especially in those windows I get of clarity and calm.
  4. Hello, I really appreciate seeing everyone's stories and strategies, and it helps to know that I'm not alone. I am in my late 20s and have been on and off many meds since a hospitalization for depression in 2005. By fall of 2016, when I started the “taper”, I was on 4 medications: Cipralex 20mg, Adderall 30-40 mg, Abilify 2mg and Wellbutrin SR 200 mg. The first 3, I think I was taking for around 2 years after numerous failed treatments including various meds and rTMS; however, I have been taking the Wellbutrin for 12 years. On that regimen of 4, from something like 2014-2016, my mood was generally in-check but my life was beginning to fall apart. I graduated and got a full time job in the summer of 2016, but I was having horrible energy crashes randomly during the day. Sometimes I couldn't keep my eyes open or stay seated. I struggled socially. My memory and attention were affected, and I would cry randomly. I had trouble believing it could be from the meds because they were supposed to do the opposite. In Sept 2016, I was off work and on disability. It was an incredibly confusing situation, and everyone, including myself, blamed my brain. Soon after that I began having a gradual and profound shift in perspective as I realised that meds may have been more of a problem for me than a solution. At some point in the fall of 2016, I started my withdrawal journey. First, I stopped the Cipralex over a few weeks, and became incredibly anxious. It was really horrible; I would get spells of pacing and yelling at myself. I couldn't meditate or do anything to calm down anymore. After a few months of that, I then tapered the adderall over around a month. At that point, I became really exhausted, was getting frequent (but not ER level) suicidal thoughts, and had trouble doing anything. I eventually got accepted for a volunteer job to which I had previously applied, and reinstated half of the adderall to function. However, I was scared that the tolerance crashes might come back, so my doc switched me to Vyvanse 20-30 mg. It was smoother but I was still concerned that it was not a long-term solution. I finished the volunteer job, then I read about things that other people had tried and decided to do some lifestyle changes. I stopped sugar and gluten and got outside a lot. Then I tapered both the vyvanse and the abilify at the same time over around 2 months. It was not as bad this time, and after a few more months off of them, I was mostly able to concentrate and wasn't getting very many dark thoughts. My emotional depth and variety, as well as cognition, were even beginning to improve. Once I could sort of focus again, I decided to try the paleo/keto diet and taper the wellbutrin. The problem with wellbutrin is that I have unsuccessfully tried to stop it numerous times over the past decade by following the traditional taper advice. Each time ended with me falling into an awful depression a few weeks later, and eventually back onto the med. I had been convinced that this was evidence of a chronic underlying depression, but now reading other people's stories, I'm going to be optimistic and assume that it was delayed withdrawal. So, I felt a little better on the paleo diet and dropped the WB dose from 200 mg to 100 mg on Oct 25, 2017 (right before I found this forum). I then became very sluggish with low motivation, but after a few weeks I was able to get out of bed in the morning again and do a few things. It's been 5 weeks now and no terrible-delayed-withdrawal-depression yet. I'm mostly just tired with trouble getting started on tasks. I asked for an extension on my leave from work to finish sorting this out. Surprisingly though, my difficulty connecting with people and obsessive thinking are improving in intermittently - I'm not sure yet if that's from going off the meds or from the changes in diet, but I greatly welcome it. By reading other people's success stories here, I learned that my best chance at becoming free from the Wellbutrin is to do the rest of my taper extremely slowly. I have an appointment with my doc next week to make a plan. This doc is good so it should go okay. I would be interested to hear anything from you!
  5. Hey everyone, I’m 27 years old and have had a really hard time since having an adverse reaction to several drugs last year. I started 300 mg Wellbutrin SR in October 2016 and stopped in December 2016 since I was going home for winter break for grad school. I had some chest pain for that month, but other than that, I was fine and I resumed in January 2017. Still finding it incredibly hard to concentrate, I went home to my primary care doc and he prescribed me Adderall (forgot the dosage, but was relatively low). I took Adderall for about 9 days in March 2017 until I found it wasn’t working so I stopped until I could see my primary care doctor again. I went home again in April 2017 to see my doctor again and he then gave me Ritalin. I took Ritalin for about a week until I started having serious sucidal thoughts, so my doctor advised me to stop it. I was then drug-free for about 6 weeks until I took Wellbutrin again in June, but this time it was a different formulation (2 150 mg pills instead of 1 300 mg pill, and I believe it changed from SR to XL). I became really nervous being outside, which wasn’t uncommon for me since I hate the summer heat and the bugs that come with it. But it gave me such intense anxiety that I couldn’t even walk outside for most of the week and was sent into a panic when I had to go outside. The following week is when disaster struck. Previously my doctor had suggested to take both Adderall/Ritalin and Wellbutrin at the same time, since he didn’t want to change more than one variable at the same time. But my provider at school said it would be fine to just take the stimulants prescribed so I went with the school provider since he had been overseeing my psych med care anyways. The morning before I took all 3 meds together, I had the worst back/neck pain I’d ever had and attributed it to falling off my pillow. I later took Wellbutrin, Adderall, and Hydrochlorothiazide (for high blood pressure) together and a few hours later, my hands and feet became numb. Just thinking it was a temporary side-effect, I took the same drugs the next day, where the numbness and tingling got worse and after speaking with a pharmacist, decided to go the ER. At the ER, they didn’t think it was really anything serious and told me to just stop taking the medications and that the effects would stop in a few days. Except that they didn’t. Over the next 6-7 weeks, from mid-June to early August 2017, I had numbness, tingling, internal shakes, tremors, eye problems like floaters, and was so uncoordinated that I continued bumping into and dropping things. I had to go to the ER 3 more times within that same period, and each time the doctors didn’t do anything. At about 6 weeks, I started to clear up and eventually all my symptoms disappeared in time for school to start. But that would also be short-lived. During the first week of September, I got sick again, thinking it was a cold and was put on allergy medication, which I took for two days and all the symptoms from the summer returned, and I eventually got so sick that I had diarrhea and felt like I was going to faint, so I was placed on propranolol until I stopped CT in January. From September to October 2017, I had all the symptoms from before, plus sleeping issues, rashes, and soreness. I was so sick that I left school for this period of time and went home to see countless doctors, none of whom believed it was medication-related. At home, I developed hypnic jerks that woke me from my sleep as well. In October 2017, right before I returned to school, I started getting muscle twitching and burning, which has honestly been the most concerning symptom in this whole thing. The twitching persisted for about a month, then stopped in November. But then it came back again in mid-December 2017 and got progressively worse until the end of March 2018. When it started again in December, an ER doctor put me on Ativan for a few days and then I was put on Zoloft which I took for about a month until the end of January 2018. The twitching reached its peak and then stopped completely by the end of March 2018. It then came back in May 2018 but instead of having its more predictable pattern, it has been more severe some days and much less severe on other days. I’ve also started to get some of the symptoms I thought I was over back again, like the numbness when I wake up or the eye problems like seeing sparkles of light, eye floaters, and eye twitching. I’m just so worried about this twitching thing because it makes it so hard to sit down, meaning I won’t be able to continue pursuing my dreams. I also thought it’d be gone by now since I’ve had periods where this has completely disappeared. What can I do to treat this?
  6. I've been meaning to introduce myself for a while now, but getting myself to sit down and actually write something has been so incredibly hard. I just can't focus. Things I want to say or share come in bits and pieces and are gone by the time I can get on this site. I'very been tapering off Lexapro since August and am down to 10 mg fromy 30. I know it's faster than suggested here, but it seems to be OK. Well, I am still alive anyway. Since I can only seem to put together short thoughts on everything and need to get them out right away, I've decided to use Twitter primarily #TweetingMyRecovery. My handle is @AbleWriterSays if anyone cares to join me or follow along.
  7. Moderator note: link to benzo forum thread - Bandboy: Tapering benzos and latuda Hi all. Began taking antidepressants around 2000. Tried them all, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Prestiq, and more I can't remember. A few years ago I was put on Abilify, but it caused too much weight gain. I was then placed on Latuda, which was effective. I believe I have developed a tolerance to Latuda, and I suspect it has caused higher glucose levels and at rare times difficulty swallowing. I tried a fast taper, 50, 25, 0 percent and about 3 days later started withdrawals--sniffling, claminess, irritatabilty. Went back up to 50% and the symptoms quickly subsided. Have initiated the 10 percent tapering and while I feel uncomfortable with the first drop, I can tolerate it so far. When I feel comfortable or in 4 weeks, whichever is first, I'll try another 10%. I intend to treat the depression with ketamine, which I have found to be effective for me.
  8. I've been taking Adderall for 15 years and was prescribed it originally to help with depression. I have stopped taking it while I was pregnant and completely went cold turkey. I lasted 9 months and went right back on it when I was able to after having my baby. Even after 9 months I was still unmotivated and lethargic every single day and I feel like there's nothing I can do to get motivated to even just clean my house and just do the minimal things in life. Its so frustrating and I have quit Adderall a million times for 1 week or 1 month etc. and I always go back to it because I feel like I can't keep up with the basic life events that I have and being an energetic mom and it's so frustrating! Is there anything that can help me feel motivated again without Adderall or is there any medicine or anything anyone can think of or know about at all that you can advise me to do? Ive read a lot of people say to wait it out and your brain heals itself and I feel like my brain will never heal because I've been taking this medicine for so long. Ive tried supplements like Tyrosine and vitamins nothing works. I have thought about trying Modafinil but I'm not sure it's a good fit for me. Please help!
  9. In Feb of this year I decided that the cons of Adderall were no longer to my benefit and decided to quit cold turkey. I spent a month weak, tired, irritable and unable to cope with all the "noise" of everything that was happening around me. Driving, shopping, even conversations felt like too much to handle. They say that Adderall is not addicting but it is, maybe not in the physical sense for some but in the emotional sense I became heavily reliant on the pills just to be around people, to get out of bed; basically just to do the simple things that "regular" people get up and do day after day. When I was first prescribed Adderall about 7 years ago, every few months I'd purposely stop taking them for an entire wknd just to reassure myself that I could stop. To be continued.
  10. Hello all! I feel very happy to have found this place today! I am a 49 year old guy, single, not because of lack of women but because of the difficulty to keep a relation besides of being chemically castrated by psychiatric medications for 35 years in a row. Before dealing with my mental issues I was a very healthy guy, loved sports, had excellent grades and was very sociable and happy. I come from a very dysfunctional family with an alcoholic father and a sex offender neighbor who abused me many times but I never told anyone. At that time of my life I could not realize that I had been traumatized by the sexual assaults of my neighbor, but because of a change in behavior, my mother knew something was going on with me. So she decided to take me to a Pediatric Psychiatrist and the Pandora's box jut opened. I was a living trauma and for the first time in my life I was medicated. It has been 35 years without having a normal, enjoyable life My whole health decayed big time in many aspects. During treatments I developed: diabetes, hypercholesterol, hypertriglyceridemia, cardiovascular disease, whole body nerve damage, fibromyalgia, darkening and peeling of the skin in my legs, burning tongue syndrome, impotence and harsh tooth decay. I could be a 49 year old man but specialist doctors tell me that I am a high risk patient and that the situation of my physical health is the same as of an 85 year old man and that with all my health conditions, I could die anytime. It wasn't til last week that I decided to put an end to all of this, no matter how. I have used any single psychotropic medication, the old and the new and all of them are really bad for you but the FDA and the Big Pharma Industry want your money and will try you to keep on consuming their products. They don' really care if you feel good or not at all. I was feeling miserable, lying on bed for weeks because my body pains were so severe that I could not barely walk. Then, one day I started a research on psychiatric medications side effects in detail and I could relate to my state of physical health. So I made another research on how to withdraw from psychiatric medications but using natural supplements and that information has helped me big time. My current cocktail last week was Depakote 2,000mg Seroquel 800mg Efexxor 225mg Xanax 6mg Ambien 10mg Adderall XR 60mg Neurontin 1,600mg Estazolam 4mg I made a research of every single one, selected the hardest to eliminate, and decreased their dosages. Right now I am taking: Depakote 200mg Seroquel 200mg Efexxor 75mg Xanax 4mg Ambien 10mg Adderall XR 30mg Neurontin and Estazolam are history. It feels like kind of hell but this is my goal and I know I can accomplish it and at the end I will have the kind of life that I deserve. For next week I will keep on reducing dosages and going into "full time " natural supplementation with: Vitamin D, Chelated Magnesium, Turmeric, L-Carnitine, Vitamin E, Fish Oil, Vitamin C 1,000, Garlic, Ginckgo Biloba, Coenzime Q10, Flavonoids, Copper, Alpha LipoicAcid, B Complex and B-12 separately. Do your research for your own good. You were not born with all those meds and undesirable side effects, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! The information I posted is based on my own opinions and experiences and in NO way I instruct you to do the same, I just think that my history may inspire you in making things the better for you. Many blessings to all, HEMARO
  11. Hey everyone! Just wanted to introduce myself and let you all in on my journey and discontinuation of antidepressants. I am 28 years old and just ended an 11 year relationship with AD's. There was so much shame I felt being on these drugs. I felt like I was this great person because of the pills I was taking and nothing more. I wouldn't dare tell a soul I was taking antidepressants for fear that they would then see the pill and not me. Make sense? I said goodbye to Sertraline in November 2017. After completing yoga teacher training and having this new perspective of myself and my life, I started to actually feel the chemicals that weren't meant to be in my body. I had tried tapering off of Sertraline 3 times prior to the last over the past few years. The previous tries I would make it about a month or two before surrendering back to the pills to make myself feel better if I started feeling sad or uneasy. This time was different. VERY different. This time I started with intense research. I wanted to discontinue the dosage but this time was for real; I would do my homework and get off of these things once and for all. And what I found first broke my heart, made me angry and then gave me hope. The anger is still present when I try to find a reason 'why' people are enslaved to these prescription drugs. The research I found led me to this site, and I continue to research the effects and harms that these medications actually do to people, unbeknownst to them. The cause of our sadness is residual, stagnant energy trapped in our bodies from a traumatic event or life experience that changed our perspective of what is. When we take these medications, we are never actually dealing with the source of our problems, rather than masking it over with a clouded perception of reality. I used to love my prescriptions. Even after I would attempt to quit, that love would return after I felt 'better' taking them again. I was prescribed my first antidepressant when I was 16. I was missing a lot of school because I slept in too late. I just loved my sleep. Eventually, I was sent to the PCP to see what could be done about this sleeping problem.. Well, her answer was Citalopram (Celexa). This was the beginning of a battle I never wanted to be involved with but here I am. And P.S. the sleeping issue was not resolved in any way thereafter. To keep it short, I will just give you a brief history of how my dance with prescription drugs evolved after that: 2006 Celexa (Citalopram) 40 mg & Adderall XR 75 mg (a lot of the times more because I was heavily addicted) 2007 Citalopram & Ritalin (don't remember mg) .. soon after Vyvanse (don't remember mg) and finally to Amphetamine Salts due to unpleasant side effects from the Ritalin & Vyvanse.. ** indicates time period where Amphetamine Salts were prescribed 2008 ** Citalopram 40 mg-> Effexor XR 75 mg after a psychiatric evaluation (which I now understand was due to the medications and the effect they had on me mentally ... psh) 2009** Effexor XR 75 mg - Paxil (Paroxetine) 30 mg due to the INSANELY high cost of Effexor without insurance I was forced to wean myself off and switch 2010** Paxil 30 mg-> Sertraline 50 mg due to weight gain and lethargy 2011-2013 Sertraline 50 mg -> Wellbutrin (Bupropion Hcl) 75 mg due to sexual side effects and wanting to feel alive again 2013-2017 Wellbutrin 75 mg -> Back to Zoloft (Sertraline) 75 mg because the anxious side effects of the Wellbutrin made me uneasy and Sertraline seemed to be the only AD that had the least side effects at the time 2017 Sertraline 75 mg -> slow taper to 50 MG for two weeks -> halving the dosage & following this pattern until there was nothing -> 5 HTP 50 mg & 1200 mg Fish Oil NOW = 1200 mg Fish Oil and becoming accustomed to an Ayurvedic diet along with daily yoga practice**** this is HUGE and one of the main reasons I have remained clean from AD's Now, almost two months clean from prescription drugs I can say that there is still lots of work to be done. When you go through your teenage years and early twenties on AD's, you need to relearn how to interact and react as there is no longer that pill keeping you numb. Everything becomes real and raw. There are still days that I have my emotions consume my entire being in a negative way and I am still working on this. I WILL NOT GIVE UP. As of right now, it seems as though I am taking off from where I left off at 16 years old. This means emotionally and re actively along with maturity and sexuality. As many of you can relate, I could go on with this topic and how it has effected my entire life for ever and ever. There will be more posts that follow in regards to these drugs and how we can help each other become clean and free once again as we were made to be. Love and blessings to you all <3 we CAN do this..we are all in this together! LB Anti-depressants controlling tools of your system Making life more tolerable, making life more tolerable. The Unthinking Majority - Serj Tankian
  12. I beat withdrawal and in the process I beat a depression that had been plaguing me for half my life. I’ve been meaning to share my story for sometime now but have failed to take the time to do so. When I was in the thick of it back in 2016 I heavily utilized this site for answers, for comfort, and for inspiration. Unfortunately there don’t seem to be a lot of success stories but I am proud to say I am one. It was quite a daunting task writing this all down, I swear I could write a novel based on my experience with depression and antidepressants. Irregardless I hope my story can help encourage those currently in the midst of withdrawal just as stories I had read on this site encouraged me during my withdrawal. I am a 27 year old man and I took antidepressants from 2010 to early 2016. My first year was on Zoloft and the next five years were on Effexor 150mg. Depression entered my life around the age of 13 and it more or less stayed there up until recently. Sure there were periods of time where it subsided but eventually I would always return to my depressed default state. When I was about 13 my father died unexpectedly, a few years later my grandfather was murdered. My teenage years were very lonely. Affected by the deaths and trying to understand my sexuality pushed me into a state of isolation, it was during this time where I developed a very strong pornograghy addiction. Rather than talk about my issues through friends and therapy I chose to keep them hidden and use medication to do the work for me. Soon after starting college I got on Zoloft. It suited me, I felt calm and content but I craved something more stimulating. I had previously been prescribed adderall, but I recognized the ill effects it had on my personality so I stopped taking it. The campus doctor recommended Effexor, he said I might find it to be more stimulating. Therefore without question I took the prescription and worked my way up to 150mg where I would remain the next 5 years. During this time I was also taking ambien nightly, and between these two drugs I was able block out any of the persistent issues that were bothering me. I was numb. Years later I was living in a house with two very supportive roommates. These two guys would become my best friends and for the first time in my life I actually opened up about the things that truly bothered me. I also finally decided to get into therapy. In retrospect I could see that I was not actually happy on the antidepressants. I was just going through the motions, numb to the good and numb to the bad. I could see my growing disconnect from people. Up until those roommates I didn’t have close friends, I wasn't dating, and I certainly wasn’t having sex. I was almost 25 and still a virgin. The antidepressants removed the desire to be intimate with people, I was living in perpetual loneliness. So in January of 2016 I made the decision I was getting off Effexor and that was that. As with most doctors, my doctor had no idea how to get me off. There are no established plans to get people off of antidepressants, once your on them your expected to stay on them. So every two weeks I would half the dosage, and at the lowest dosage I was to take it every other day. That was completely idiotic as Effexor only has a 12 hour half life, essentially I would be playing ping pong with my brain chemistry. Fortunately I did not follow that last part of the plan but I did get off too quickly. After five years on the drug, six weeks is not long enough to get completely off. My first day off of Effexor was also my first day on a one month solo trip through South America which was during my birthday month when I would be turning 25. The trip was fantastic but it gave me a false sense of security as to what life would be like without the drug. While traveling you are processing so much new information and your brain is naturally producing tons of dopamine through all these new experiences therefore I was not accurately feeling what real withdrawal would feel like. I had some minor headaches the first week of the trip but that was really it. By the time the trip ended I thought life without antidepressants was going to be a piece of cake, boy was I wrong. When I came back it was time to face reality, and I had to do so without relying on Effexor. We were moving from our house, my two awesome roommates were going their separate ways and I was on my own. On top of that I had a very important all consuming project at work to figure out. My anxiety was through the roof. I had a prescription for Ativan that I used very sparingly to get me through, but the anxiety was so bad I thought I needed a more permanent solution. I had to do whatever it took to get through this move and this project so I went back to the doctor to try a different antidepressant. He put me on Lexapro, I believe it was only 5mg but I could feel it instantly. I was finding I was hypersensitive to everything now. I was only able to tolerate Lexapro for 5 days because on the fifth day I was contemplating suicide. Whatever fire I had inside me that had always gotten me through the tough **** felt extinguished and I just wanted to die. I ended up going back to Effexor only taking 10 or so beads from the capsule, just that small amount made a tremendous difference in my anxiety. I did this until I had settled into a new place and my project was complete. While my anxiety was calmed my emotions were neutralized and my libido was extinguished. These were the exact reasons I got off in the first place so I knew I had to stick with the plan of staying off for good. Things were calming down but I was very depressed and had a complete lack of motivation. I was trying a lot of things like B-vitamins, Magnesium, L-theanine, and Fish Oil. I could feel some benefit from each of them but after a few days I would be back in my depression. I had very low energy and I was sensitive to everything. Just eating bread would make me feel terrible even though I had no apparent gluten intolerance previously. It was around this time a good friend of mine talked me into doing Improv. I thought it was crazy but I had nothing left to lose. So even at my worst I did Improv and I also continued training in the martial art Krav Maga. No matter how bad I felt I would show up and make a fool of myself in Improv or hit the **** out of something in Krav. I always felt much relief whenever I did either and I credit both of those activities to helping me beat my depression in the long run. I opened up a lot to my friends and family about what was going on in my head, and whenever my anxiety felt high I would challenge myself into doing something that made me uncomfortable. I performed on stage, I did sparring at my gym, I went on dates with guys, and I opened up to my Mom about my sexuality. My motto was “oh you think you’re anxious now? Wait till you do this!” While all these lifestyle changes helped build up my confidence I still struggled to find relief from my depression. I thoroughly researched the neurotransmitters and what vitamins and supplements help support what. I determined that my issues seemed to lie with Dopamine. So I went back to my doctor to get on Wellbutrin. I was not happy about throwing in the towel again but I also wasn’t ultimately finding relief. I was open to Wellbutrin because it supposedly did not have as severe of sexual side effects. I started taking it and I actually felt pretty damn good. Unfortunately I also broke out in hives. So it was back to the drawing board. I tried St. John’s wort and SAM-e, neither of those did anything. Finally I tried L-Tyrosine, this seemed to make the biggest difference. Like I hypothesized, my problem stemmed from dopamine and L-Tyrosine is a precursor in the creation of dopamine. While I found some relief, it was very finicky. Taking too much made me feel like I was going to have a heart attack, too little of course did nothing at all. It was also very easily influenced by the digestive process so it was hard to find consistency and consistency was what I needed as I was about to hop on a very stressful 6 week project. I threw in the towel again this time looking at Cymbalta. I had read that it was less likely to cause the sexual side effects that Effexor does. It was true, I found my libido did not seem to suffer as badly however I downright felt badly. I felt achy, my head hurt, I felt dehydrated, and I was terrified to force my body to adjust to this seemingly toxic drug. I knew that I had no intentions of staying on antidepressants my whole life therefore if Cymbalta feels this harsh to adjust to in the beginning then I can only imagine what it would feel like to get off of. This whole withdrawal process shook me to my core. While I was desperate to find relief so that I could function at work I also knew that I never wanted to withdrawal from an antidepressant again. I tossed the Cymbalta and I went back to taking a few beads of the Effexor. Once again I felt relief but once again my libido vanished as did my emotions. The most striking difference I noticed once I was back on the Effexor had to do with a coworker. I had a thing for one of the girls I was working with and I knew she felt similarly. Whenever she smiled at me I could feel an electricity rush through my body. When I got back on Effexor and she smiled at me, I felt nothing. That was it, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I could be depressed, anxious, and barely able to function but I was not going to lose the feeling of being human. I was not going to lose feeling a connection with someone, caring about someone, and I sure as hell was not going to lose my libido, not at 25. Antidepressants were out, I had to find another way. That’s when I discovered a different form of L-Tyrosine called N-Actetyl-L-Tyrosine, this form is less affected by digestion and crosses the blood brain barrier more easily. It took a lot of experimentation with how to dose the N-Acetyl-L-Tyrosine. It caused a lot of headaches but it was relieving my depression and anxiety. Finally I developed a regimen that included several of the vitamins I had previously tried that offered relief but couldn’t fix the problem as a whole. My regimen consisted of a B-complex, Fish oil, Vitamin C, and Vitamin D during the day; at night I would take Magnesium, melatonin, and every other night 150mg of N-Acetyl-L-Tyrosine. After 6 months of suffering and countless experimentation I finally found stability again with my own personal regimine. I more or less stayed on this particular plan for a year, and the extreme depression and anxiety stayed away. I had never felt better because I was actually feeling everything like a human being should. I was also very in tune with my emotions, as soon as I felt depressing thoughts creeping in I would identify them and root out what may be causing them. I continued challenging myself with the improv, krav maga, and anything else that my old self would swear I could never do. I also continued therapy and being open and honest with those around me. I beat the depression that had been plaguing me the majority of my life. I didn’t stay on that particular set of vitamins and supplements indefinitely, I started dropping things along the way. After about a year the N-Acetyl-L-Tyrosine started acting finicky again, I was suffering headaches similar to when I first got on it. I ended up dropping the Tyrosine several months ago and instead started experimenting with Rhodiola Rosea. So far it has been working well. If the Rhodiola Rosea stops working I’ll try something else, the important thing is that my mindset has changed. I’m extremely self aware, I’ve accomplished so many things I thought I could never do, and I know that I no longer need antidepressants to function. Depression will always be something I will battle but I’m finally now in the driver's seat and I am not going to give up my spot so easily this time. Withdrawal is horrible but its an important process in forming a new and better self. Just because L-Tyrosine and Rhodiola Rosea have helped me doesn’t mean they will help everyone. It took a lot of trial and error to find what seemed to click. Ultimately it was challenging myself, being honest and open with those around me, and learning mindfulness that truly brought me into the light. I hope my story can provide some ray of hope for all of you out there in the thick of it. It can be done. It’s not the end of the world to reinstate just know what your ultimate goals are and stick to them.
  13. Hi everyone, i'm a 37yo male and I need advice on tapering. I seen a MD and first ever meds prescribed to me were in 2013. Wellbutrin 150 mg SR & 0.5mg Xanax as needed. Over the next 3-4 years was given effexor, Lexapro, prozac, paxil, Zoloft and others I cannot remember. Xanax was upped to 1mg 3x daily. Before seeing a psychiatrist was taking Xanax at irregular doses of 1-3mg at a time but usually not daily. Average 60mg a month. So I started to have lots of extra building up. After I was prescribed Valium from the psychiatrist I flushed all the Xanax down the toilet. Since then I've been taking 10mg Valium every 2 days. The psych said it would be fine to switch straight to the Valium. Didn't have any WD. Not sure if my body can go cold turkey on a benzo though because of what I've read on the internet. Glad I found this forum. In June at my first appointment with the psych I was diagnosed bipolar and prescribed trileptal 300mg twice daily which was tapered upwards over 2 weeks. 150mg SR Wellbutrin in the morning. I forget the lithium dose and the gabapentin because the bottles were huge and I refused to take them. I did take the trileptal and Wellbutrin and still do. I've been on and off Wellbutrin for 4 years. Mostly off. 2nd appointment told the doc I wasn't going to take the lithium or gabapentin. He convinced me to take the gabapentin and the dose was tapered to 2400mg over several weeks. 3rd appointment I was always feeling jittery and told him my short term memory was really bad. Got asked a bunch of questions and diagnosed with ADHD. Prescribed Adderall 20mg 3x a day. It was also tapered upwards over a few weeks. I asked to switch to Valium because I read that it's easier to withdraw from. I had not tried to stop taking Xanax since it was prescribed. I didn't tell him my plan was to quit benzos entirely but I was scared from what I had read on the internet. I'm feeling worse on these drugs than I did without them. What started with a visit to my MD because I was feeling down and maybe depressed has lead me to this cocktail of drugs. I'm not feeling myself and have no motivation or interest in things that I used to take joy in.I'm scared this is permanent and I want to get off all my meds. I read the forums about tapering but I'm totally lost on what med to start with. Can someone give me some advice please.
  14. Ok due to my divorce and a lot of pain watching my ex tear my daughters through way to much info to hurt me I became "depressed" my Doc prescribed me Prozac Sept. 2016 it upped to 40 mg by Jan. 2017. I HAVE NOT BEEN MYSELF SINCE THE PRESCRIPTION!!! So I decided to Coldturkey 8 days ago!!! OMG! I've never researched a thing about CT off Prozac. I'm a 22 year recovering Opiate addict so I'm familiar to Opiate WD... This!!! Prozac withdrawal Coldturkey is unmanageable! So Day 1 I quit Norco, Prozac, and adderall. I'm tired of taking pills. I'm not the same person I used to be! Ok within 48 hours vomiting comes for 2 days almost non stop! Day 3 I'm rushed to ER to get fluids for dehydration. I was released and sent home. Still throwing up. Day 4 still throwing up. But extremely tired and sleepy, days 5 and 6 sleepy and tired feel like I'm dying. Cannot eat. - Today = Day 9... nothing tastes right but I'm starving, food goes right thru me and I have not slept in 2 days! I'm freezing cold in 90 degree weather! - But my head is clear, I'm calm, feel smart, my Precious GF notices a miraculous difference she can feel. But I'm literally wore out tired. And cannot sleep! And the freezing cold thing is miserable. My legs hurt. I cannot get comfortable anywhere. -- WHY!!!! ??? Is Prozac withdrawal harder, worse and longer than Opiate, or Amphetamines???? I don't get it!! This is the worse medication that I've ever experienced. And it never helped me! It made me worse with cloudy judgement and Chemical Imbalance! -- I want it over is it possible????
  15. Hi! I'm new here. Thanks for your post topic (moved from ZayKayWill's intro topic) about ADDERALL withdrawal: I have been taking prescription amphetamines (ADDERALL & VYVANSE) for 16 years. Looking back, I was addicted to the new “healthier” self-esteem, confidence, and mental benefits by my first pill; I was 29 yr old. I became more extroverted, articulate and focused like a laser. I never wanted to feel any other way, even for a second. My diagnosed ADD improved right away and I was doing great. I doubled my salary in just a few years. I became a better writer, I created more artwork, and I had more friends. I was managing people and projects at work and I was sought out by others as a leader. I was thriving! Tolerance grew. My dosage increased and I was being prescribed higher than the recommended dose. But who cared because the pills were a miracle. The Psychiatrist and I agreed that I’d need these pills for “the rest of my life.” This seemed to solve many of my problems for over 10 years until ADDERALL became the bigger problem. I started to feel bad, even with the pills. I became dysfunctional and unreliable. And now, I needed the pills to function at all, to do anything. To get up. To make a phone call. To check my mail. My life was centered on obtaining and taking ADDERALL every few hours to function. I was in serious trouble. I precipitously become a real-life drug addict. Today I am in withdraw. I have been in withdrawal for about seven months. Withdrawal symptoms do not go away. There is no escaping it, and there is rarely any peace. This means I suffer from unclear and disordered thinking every second of the day. I can't engage in, or start and finish anything. I am uncomfortable inside my heart and mind, 24 hours a day. This creates relentless anxiety and uneasiness because I know ADDERALL can cure my suffering instantly with one pill. But I can't take that pill--EVER AGAIN. My anxiety intensifies because I know this. My obsession to do the right thing demands constant attention. I work hard to hide my problems. It's like trying not to cry in front of someone. It's the kind of repression that always mess you up in the head. It would mess up anyone. But I feel like I have to keep up with everyone else. I hold myself up to compare with all the people who have not been made dumb and tired by ADDERAL. Then I feel guilty because I can't keep up. It makes me feel like I've failed myself and others. This struggle makes me tired. Very tired. Thanks for letting me share!
  16. This article appeared today in the New York Times. While it does not go into tremendous detail on the withdrawal piece, it does do some. http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/16/magazine/generation-adderall-addiction.html?src=trending&module=Ribbon&version=context&region=Header&action=click&contentCollection=Trending&pgtype=article
  17. I am making a final decision about getting off antidepressants/stimulants for good. Please help me decide. I am in great need of encouragement and wisdom. It has been about 2 years since I started my journey. But some history: In college (2005) I was started on 20mg Adderall XR to help with ADHD which was said to be causing a lot of anxiety and perhaps depression. Adderall induced depression in me after my dose would wear off, so the doctor prescribed Lexapro 20mg. I felt probably the best I've ever felt in my life. However, I still wanted see who I was without the meds. I wanted to re-connect with parts of me that felt lost. I also never wanted to take brain medications for life. So from 2005 to 2014, I took the drugs and tried maybe 3 different times to get off; never really tapering much like I should have. It never worked and I always ended up back on them, happy, and enthusiastic about life again. I decided to make my final, serious effort to get off the meds in 2014. Happily married, with a good career and social support at this point (and still). I tapered off Adderall XR over the course of at least 4 or 5 months. The primary care doc warned me to get totally off the Adderall first, then deal with the Lexapro. Big mistake. After I was done with the Adderall and just on Lexapro, I was depressed, lethargic, weepy. This went on and got worse, so the Lexapro was replaced with wellbutrin, and I felt better. Over the next year though, I started getting bad anxiety, and had trouble sleeping. 25mg of Zoloft was added in Nov or Dec of 2015, and I got a lot better. Then I began my taper... but not very responsibly, again. Will I ever learn?! Split the Zoloft in half for a few weeks, then stopped it. Waited awhile and the anxiety returned, as well as the sleep problems. Psychiatrist and I agreed that the Wellbutrin must've been exacerbating my anxiety, so suggested I stop it cold turkey. I resisted a little bit, but not enough; I stopped pretty much cold turkey. That was 3 months ago, and here I am, very shaken and having had major issues with anxiety, insomnia, fear, worry, and other issues including the 2nd panic attack I've had in my life. I've worked hard on mindfulness practices over this time. However, my wife and I have agreed that it's time for me to get help again. I started Buspar 2 weeks ago and don't like the side effects. I was given 5mg Adderall XR to try and help as needed. I am planning to get back on meds now... but I don't know which ones because I don't know if I should resign to taking them for the rest of my life or try to taper again. Tapering on Adderall XR and Lexapro will be harder than Wellbutrin and Zoloft was. So I've got a couple options as I see it: 1. Bite the bullet, swallow my pride, and take Adderall and an SSRI for life. Live long and enjoy life; it's too short to keep causing myself this much pain. I truly enjoyed how I felt on Adderall and Lexapro, despite my adamant desire to stay off of them. 2. Own my setbacks and move forward. Take the Wellbutrin and Zoloft again and after 6 months to a year, conduct a true, gradual 10% taper off of each one. If it takes years to be med-free, so be it. Either way, I NEED to get better ASAP; my job feels like it's falling apart, and my wife and son need a capable man in their lives to hold onto. I need myself back. So either way, I plan on getting back on medication(s) (unless you guys can somehow convince me that staying off and risking my work and family life is better). What do you guys think? I've frequently written in my journals that all I want in the whole world is to just be free of these medications. But I could also see myself being happy and feeling great the rest of my life if I just give in and take the combination I used to THRIVE on; Adderall and Lexapro (or another SSRI). And what about the tapering? If I get back on the Wellbutrin (150mg XL) and Zoloft (25mg), wait until I've had some time to recover and enjoy my life and family again (at least 6 months), and then begin with a true, gradual, 10% taper off both medications, do you think I'll still have to deal with crippling anxiety, fear, dread, and insomnia that has plagued my family and I over the past few months? Or do you think that a 10% taper over a series of years will allow me to reach my goal and be medication free, while still being able to enjoy my family and be a good father... I mean, would the taper make my problems significantly easier to cope with? And once I'm fully off the medications, would I still have to deal with the crippling protracted withdrawal? I keep thinking I might still be dealing with increased anxiety from such a long time taking Lexapro. I was never in my life this anxious or stressed by such little things (big things, yes, but not these kinds of things). I ruminate and obsess so much, it kills me. The Adderall helps, but I can't keep taking that if my plan is to get off meds. Any advice would be deeply appreciated. I am open to staying on medication for life if need ends up being. But I'm not in the best state of mind and I've constantly gone back and forth between the two options. Advice will be so much appreciated, encouragement as well. Thank you guys so much for the excellent website you've created.
  18. I don't even know where to begin and I may be one of the worst cases I've seen on here with my plethora of drugs I'm on and my life situation that seems to make it close to impossible to take care of myself. Currently I'm about 8 days (I think) cold turkey off lexapro 10 mgs. I tried tapering but the withdrawals started as soon as I started tapering and then I reinstated back to 10mgs, then went cold turkey because the headache, sinus pressure,anxiety,anger,sadness,tooth and jaw pain were unreal. Of course being cold turkey has not cleared up any of that and if anything it's worse. To add insult to injury literally, and being absolutely stupid I decided to start the process of having a bunch of dental work done while in the throws of withdrawals. I am having 8 veneers, 2 root canals and had my right canine (eye tooth) pulled so not putting two and two together I thought all this dental work was the cause of my withdrawal symptoms. I even went on a heavy duty antibiotic because I thought I had a sinus infection. My dentist has been at a lose as to whats wrong with me because I should not be having such insane headaches,neck and jaw pain a month later from the dental work. This is all lexapro withdrawalls!!!! I also have a script for adderall ir 20mgs twice daily but I stopped that 2 days ago to see if that would decrease my anxiety, it hasn't seemed to. I want off the adderall also but I'm now thinking I can only manage one thing at a time. I have xanax 1mg for occasional use but lately I've needed it almost every 2 days. I luckily do not have a addiction or dependency on benzos. I have Ambein for sleep that typically I only use maybe twice a week but since all this started I've used it almost nightly:( I also have 800 mg Motrin, 5 mg Vicodin that was prescribed for the dental work but actually came in handy for this insane headache from lexapro wds. To make matters more stressful I have a 6 month old sweet baby, 18 month old teething sweet baby and a hormonal 11 year old sweet girl:) THANK GOD I have a amazing, supportive husband but he can only handle so much. Where do I begin?! I have been determined to keep going since I made it this far but I'm not getting much better. My Pdoc is all about drugs so he will say I need to try something new. I know this was a stupid, irresponsible idea to go ct off lexapro I certainly underestimated this drug. I need support and should I not use the Ambein or xanax to combat the insomnia from the lexapro ct? I'm dizzy, foggy and my entire face hurts from tension and anxiety:(
  19. Hello, my name is Dave and this is my introduction. I have quite a long medication background. I have been on medication for nearly my whole life. When I was seven, I was put on Ritalin for ADHD, and from that point, I have been on psycho stimulants until the age of 25. At 25, something odd happened when I took my usually 10mg dose of adderall. I got my prescription from a mail order pharmacy and they gave me adderall but it was from a different manufacturer. The brand was different. I noticed when I took this new brand the drug didn’t have the same effect. I didn’t feel the intense focus and attentiveness that I usually felt from the usual brand I took. Moving forward, I didn’t think too much of it, I just decided that when I get my next prescription I will make sure to ask for a certain brand. In January 2010, I ran out of the “weird brand”, and went to the pharmacy and requested my usual one. However, when I took my usual brand I began feeling very uncomfortable; it was as if my brain was too over stimulated from the adderall. The symptoms I felt were confusion, panic, and paranoia. I had felt these symptoms before but they passed. This time they were very strong and overpowering and I couldn’t tolerant it. It was at this point that I decided I couldn’t take adderall anymore. So I stopped and for a few weeks, I was doing well. I just felt now more prone to inattentiveness and decreased focus but I pushed my way through it. By the way, at this time I was still in college, I started late. So a month off adderall, I was in my bed at night surfing the web on my phone and I began to notice thoughts racing through my mind and I could not stop them. These thoughts, some random and some logical, were racing through in a steady stream. Just the fact of this happening really freaked me out. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. It made me panicky for the simple fact that I could not control it. I go about the next month feeling on edge and anxious because of these thoughts. Then in March of 2010, I was at school. I stopped by the bookstore and bought a bag of candy. From there I went to the library, sat down, and started studying. As I’m studying I was drinking a coke and I ate a piece of candy. As soon as I ate the candy, I felt this rush come over me and in that moment, I thought I have been drugged, haha. I laugh about it now because it sounds so silly. But as soon as that happened I rushed out the library and went to the ER because I felt I was really in danger. I was checked out and it was confirmed to be just a panic attack. Fast-forwarding, the next week I go to a psychiatrist and he puts me on Zoloft 50mg. I took it only about one month. It made me feel better but I didn’t like the side effects so I stopped taking it. In my mind, I knew coming off the adderall had done something to my brain and I didn’t want to keep adding new medications for it to handle, I just wanted my brain to reset itself. Well from April 2010 until August, I suffered from depersonalization and random thoughts entering my mind. This is when my real antidepressant history started. I become desperate for relief and I went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me Lexapro 10mg. Annnnd boy did it do the trick! Once I started the Lexapro all my symptoms cleared up in about a month and I felt completely normal again. This feeling went on until March of 2014. This is when the Lexapro seemed to stop working and I suffered a panic attack. My panic attacks seem to center around food. Like whenever I eat something, I suspect that there could have been something in it and then I feel drugged and panic. Well this is what happened when I ate a McDonald’s chicken sandwich. Right afterwards, I felt drugged and I called the EMS to come check me out. They did and confirmed that it was a panic attack. I felt so embarrassed. So after this I go back to my doctor and he up’s my dose of Lexapro to 20 mg. I take it for a few days and I couldn’t tolerate it. It just felt too strong for my system. So then on my own I started cutting the pills and took 15mg. I took this dose until September, which is when I decided that I wanted to go to a different medication. At 15mg, the Lexapro still made me tired and I just felt like I had a foggy brain. I changed my psychiatrist, and the new one gave me Prozac. I took the Prozac 10mg for one month. During this month, the side effects from the Prozac were bad. I felt intense vertigo and dizziness, especially while driving. Other than this side effect, I was functioning well. In the back of my mind, I felt elated that I had successfully got off Lexapro by switching to Prozac. That is, when I first started Lexapro, I knew it was going to be tough to get off of because I had read the stories about the brain zaps and extreme anxiety. When I got off it, I felt I had been spared those symptoms because I never got them. This was a big win in my book. Also at this time, I was in CBT therapy. I told my therapist how the Lexapro had stopped working and that my new psychiatrist switched me to Prozac. I asked her, with the problems that I’m presenting, does she think I need anti-anxiety medication. She told me no and that it was possible to manage my symptoms without the medication. It was at this point that I decided I was going to stop taking the Prozac. So I asked my psychiatrist if I can stop taking the Prozac and she said yes. She told me that since I was only taking such a small dose that stopping that amount would not cause me much distress. I was so elated when I heard this. I finally felt I had my chance to become medication free in life and just function normally without medication. So for the next two months I was med free and I felt really good. Like I had won the championship. But boy was I wrong. I stopped taking Prozac October 24th, 2014. On December 25, 2014 the withdrawal symptoms hit me like a ton of bricks. The next day I had low mood, low energy, and no appetite. I felt lethargic. These last few weeks, my mood has been up and down. Some days my mood will be low and then sometimes it comes back to near normal. However, I also have this new symptom, depersonalization. This is accompanying the mood fluctuations. In sum, I feel like I have a low mood and then normal mood but always on autopilot. These last few days the depersonalization has got very bad. Sometimes at moments, I feel like I’m about to lose control and separate from my body, (Is this normal in depersonalization?). When this happens, it really freaks me out and makes my anxiety go through the roof. During this withdrawal time, I’ve tried not to panic. It’s just really distressing. I really don’t want to take medication again but I also want to feel normal. So what do you think is going on with me? What can I do to feel better? I’ve described my full psychiatric drug history so you all can have the full picture. Do you all have any ideas as to why I started getting the intrusive thoughts after I stopped the adderall? Also, I know I didn’t really taper off my Prozac, I basically just went off cold turkey. A few months ago, I didn’t know what I know now about tapering (this website has taught me alot). Nevertheless, do you all know how I can get better and back to enjoying life again to its maximum potential? Will I be stuck like this for months or even years? I’m really looking for answers because I’m tired of feeling like this. Also I’m afraid to go back to the doctors because I know they will just throw more medication at me. Thank you for reading my story.
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