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  1. Hi all. I really need some advice about reinstating. I was on Prozac for about 5 years (started at 20mg and was at 60mg for the last 1.5 years) for seasonal affective disorder and anxiety. A couple years ago, I started Adderall for suspected narcolepsy. My narcolepsy got much worse the following year and another stimulant, armodafinil, was added. I finally got approved for a treatment that treats the root problem by normalizing the sleep cycle and started Xywav in September 2021. A few weeks in, I woke up feeling rested for the first time in my life, but with some very unusual symptoms atypical for Xywav. Going down on the Xywav did not get rid of it. I did stop armodafinil which helped a bit. I was referred to a psychiatrist (scheduled 3 months out) and neurologist (scheduled 7 months out). I went 3 months with these symptoms (SEVERE anxiety, dizziness, tremor, muscle twitching and stiffness, feeling agitated by noise and light, and sensory overloads) and was finally diagnosed with serotonin toxicity from the psychiatrist. I did a rapid taper from 60mg to 20mg over 3 months. Each drop I made, I had withdrawal, then stabilized quickly and had the toxicity come back. My psychiatrist and I decided to try holding at 20mg because of a longer withdrawal period, but then I started to feel like the toxicity was coming back. I kept going and taking the pill because I didn't see how it could be toxicity at that point, but I kept getting worse each time I took it. I started having spasms and burning sensations on my skin and was very hyper-reflexive. I was eventually instructed to CT at 20mg. I immediately felt better the next day, pain and spasms were gone within 3 days and I improved dramatically over the next couple months with only mild withdrawal symptoms. I did treat the mild withdrawal by taking 0.25-0.5mg microdoses of Prozac as needed (which I realize now was probably a bad idea, but it worked at the time). At 4 weeks, I started to have mild tingling in my legs but didn't think much of it. At 6-7 weeks out I felt almost completely recovered and back to normal and then week 8 everything started going downhill with the burning and tingling sensations in my legs amping up. I tried my last microdose of 1mg on June 6 and didn't have much change in symptoms. Over the next several weeks, I developed burning and tingling in my arms, back/spine, chest, neck, face, and now stomach. Along with this, I also have had severe muscle spasms in various areas, stiffness/tightness, cramping, and general muscle/joint pain. Posting this, I have now been off for 4 months and am going through wave and window episodes of severe pain and less pain. Each wave I seem to have burning/tingling neuropathic type pain, muscle pain, spasm, or stiffness developing in a new area of my body, so it’s now widespread. The pain is milder during the day, but gets so much worse at night and is causing lots of fear and anxiety. Since starting 5-htp, curcumin, and modified cictrus pectin (recommend by a naturopath) I seem to be having a few more windows through the day of a lot less pain and even 1-2 nights a week where the pain does not become severe at night. My mental symptoms are anxiety/fear, detachment (happens 6-8pm everyday) and some mood swings/low mood. The intense fear caused by the pain is the worst one. Most of my other symptoms are physical (blurred vision, dizziness, nausea, fatigue, loss of appetite). I know reinstating can be a bit risky this far out, but I am a grad student and the semester will be starting soon. I would like to be more functional than I am... and in less pain. So is it worth trying a reinstatement at this point to see if the pain will go away or should I just try to wait this out? If I do choose to reinstate, my psychiatrist suggested reinstating 5mg, but would it be better to start at 1-2mg and work up? 4 months off at end of July and primary symptoms are pain (burning/tingling neuropathic pain, spasms, stiffness, aches bodywide), blurred vision, dizziness, detachment, nausea, loss of appetite, dry mouth and eyes, mood swings, and a lot of anxiety and fear. A couple other things. One thing I have working for me in withdrawal is my Xywav. I always get 8 hours of quality sleep a night with no insomnia, so maybe that will help me to stabilize just a bit faster than normal (or maybe its wistful thinking...). I also don't think I have a chemical sensitivity. I have started supplements, an antiviral (acyclovir), and lowered the adderall without any obvious worsening of symptoms. Also is there anybody here who can relate to this and has developed a lot of pain in withdrawal? I’m 24 and never had pain before. I have had a full autoimmune and blood work up as well as a brain mri. All normal, so hopefully it's just withdrawal. Sorry for the long post, but thank you for reading and any advice you can offer.
  2. Hi I am presently very foggy and unsure how to go about composing this but I’ll do my best. About eight days ago (May 20) I took one dose of a 20mg adderall XR prescription I had recently been given for ADHD. If I’m remembering correctly my focus was improved and I was able to get a lot of things done without incurring much fatigue the way I normally do, but it immediately caused some pretty intense side effects, including elevated anxiety (nearly to the point of panic frankly), sexual dysfunction, appetite suppressing, GI problems, numbness/tingling in my extremities, and insomnia. I discontinued after the first dose and some of the symptoms subsided, but many didn’t and fairly quickly some new ones emerged. Presently I’m experiencing severe brain fog, anhedonia, sexual dysfunction (v low libido and genital insensitivity), difficulty w speech, heavy fatigue, dissociation (maybe depersonalization/derealization? It’s hard to tell), tremors in my hands and head and some involuntary movements, numbness/tingling in extremities (different from when on the med, less of a squeezing more like “drained”, I think I read that adderall affects blood flow), difficulty eating (also a different quality to the appetite suppressing effects of the meds), occasional insomnia, altered perception of time (everything feels much slower) and very intense depression and anxiety. I am very distressed ab these. I’m a trans woman w a history of sexual abuse and medication-induced sexual dysfunction (both very distressing! tho the dysfunction was never quite persistent iirc) as well as long term dissociation due to dysphoria who has only within the last year (since I fully came out and started hormone replacement therapy) that I’ve begun to heal and enjoy being present in my body and to experience a sexuality that doesn’t feel poisonous to me, and it has been more or less heartbreaking to feel as though the like. Fruits of my progress have been taken away from me. Additionally, I’m a survivor of long-term withdrawal from other meds, most notably lamictal, and it’s very triggering to be experiencing symptoms that so closely parallel my experiences with that. I’m hoping very much I’ll experience some relief soon because I don’t feel remotely like myself. I haven’t been able to engage with any of my interests in any sustained way since the dose. I’m very afraid I’ve given myself a case of PSSD in a roundabout way, though I’m trying to stop myself from jumping to conclusions. I am going to pursue specialized treatment for PTSD w/o meds in the meantime. I would appreciate any comfort, reassurance, advice, etc — (until I figure out how to pin a signature I’ll just put one here manually) extensive history of prior psych meds usage for adhd, depression, anxiety lamictal march-august 2018 (abrupt taper over latter four months, don’t remember dose) abilify, three days september 2018 concerta September-October 2018 reinstated lamictal at microdose, then tapered off probably too abruptly May 2019-July 2019 Estradiol, Spironolactone, Progesterone April 2021-present 💗 Adderall XR 20mg May 20, 2022
  3. Hello! Well, this site is a breath of fresh air. Background: Have had chronic joint and muscle pain for many years, remembering it since childhood. Just moderate pain. Always ask about it--nobody has helped. Diagnosed with ADHD, taking Adderall. Kept asking for Cymbalta for pain based on their commercial, but shrink said no--too hard to withdraw from. Saw an MD for preventative stuff, she has been great, but was put on Effexor 75 mg for menopausal symptoms and pain. Positive effects: tinnitus went away, seemed to work for a while, slightly elevated mood, possible reduction in hot flashes but they may have just gone away. Side effects: made me sleepy, severe bloating, gas, constipation, a slightly dulled emotional feeling, lack of motivation, pain returning, moderately dulled sexual response, could not miss a dose without face tingling, severe sweating Tapered "a little bit less" by taking a little out of the capsule every day throughout July, 2022. Has been 3 or 4 weeks. Everything seemed fine, no symptoms. Discontinued 4 days ago, reinstated last "little bit" dose last night after a remarkably unpleasant time of it--extreme (to me) discontinuation symptoms that had me quite frightened and uncomfortable, and reading more on this site. Thanks for the information. Having slight tingly face today, but otherwise feeling so, so much better. Will be slightly increasing, and counting out balls tonight to make a plan, that's for sure.
  4. JJCC

    JJCC

    hi i really want to type a good intro except tbh i've reached my lifetime limit of psychiatric and therapy intake sessions and i'm struggling to see this intro post as something different... communication in general is extremely exhausting for me and i really just want to ask a question about electrolyte balance... so i'll just vomit a list of random stuff into this text box: i am in my 40s, male, diagnosed conditions are tourette's (vocal mild, motor severe), add-i (extremely severe), chronic major depression, kinesthetic synesthesia -- all conditions have been present since early childhood and have remained mostly unchanged. i am also prone to migraines and seasonal vertigo (the latter gets milder with age), and debilitatingly ticklish (which might be relevant because i think it's linked to why i experience certain drug side effects). i'm in relatively good physical health otherwise. i take 30mg adderall xr daily + 5mg adderal ir 7 hours later (50mg mydayis is ideal but insurance does not cover) and am satisfied with that as it greatly improves my quality of life. the 30+5 schedule was the result of a lot of careful tuning. i am stopping 225 mg effexor xr. i have poor cyp2d6 function but did not receive that test until well after starting effexor. the only other medication i take is pepcid for reflux. i smoke approx. 2 packs every 3 days. i do not do any other drugs. i do not smoke marijuana, i have never used cocaine, and i rarely drink these days. the only other drugs i have ever done were psychedelics, and it has been a few decades. i do not like antidepressants but every few years i'll go on a run for a few years, always as a last resort. i used to prefer zoloft but about 4 years ago i tried effexor instead because zoloft caused too much general apathy. i chose effexor because my mother takes it and i figured if it works for her (although now i'm not sure if it does) then might as well. i have tried other antidepressants; but side effects were always unmanageable: i tend to get hit with all of the rare sexual side effects for any given drug, and every single motor control side effect imaginable, for some reason, and they never go away until stopping the drug. for effexor, though, the only real physical side-effect that never went away was excessive sweating. generally speaking it takes me about 72 hours to stabilize after an effexor dose increase. also, on missed dose, i will start to feel it within about 12 hours (just a feeling of strangeness + vivid dreams), and after almost precisely 36 hours i'll suddenly get hit hard with balance issues, slurred speech, brain zaps, and become prone to cataplexy attacks (the cataplexy triggers are repeatable, consistent, and hilariously specific - let's just say that if you tell me a good joke or give me great news then touch my feet i'll just completely deactivate like a scruffed cat, haha - very weird experience). incidentally, depakote virtually eliminates a lot of the motor control withdrawal side effects (quickly, too, within an hour or two). however i do not take this and will not start. i discovered this after i experienced my first missed dose cataplexy attack but we didn't know what it was at the time and my psychiatrist, fearing a TIA, put me on depakote as anti-seizure protection for a few days until i could get to a neurologist to identify what happened. i won't get into why i want to stop effexor except to say that i think it's causing more problems than it's solving, my career in particular is at high risk right now, and also this 4-5 year run is my longest on antidepressants and i'm not comfortable with that. also i'm starting to realize that it seems to be doing something weird to my emotions (hard to explain so i wont unless asked)... and i've noticed a huge increase in my tendency to dissociatively respond to stress. because of enzyme function test results, a few months ago i considered getting desvenlafaxine level lab tests then switching to a roughly equivalent dose of pristiq. but i just decided to stop entirely instead. i stopped kind of cold turkey about 2 weeks ago. the timing was because my psychiatrist is on maternity leave, i was running low on effexor (150 + 75 = 225), and tbh i just didn't really feel like calling the substitute psychiatrist. so i dropped the 75's and took 150mg for a few days until i ran out of those two, then i just stopped. that was about... a week-ish ago. it's been hell since, but... i seem to be slowly but surely crawling back into reality. my gut feeling is that i'll get through the withdrawal ok eventually, but my fingers are solidly crossed. i'm not concerned about long term withdrawal syndrome at this time but get back to me in a couple weeks on that. i've been emotionally and physically all over the place since stopping but i just assume it's par for the course. but i'm also experiencing a lot of overwhelming anxiety that i think might be 4 years of effexor-suppressed stress all coming out at once, if that makes sense (like, real life things that i should've been concerned with but wasn't, and now suddenly they're all hitting me). i seem to at least have gotten through the suicidal depression part of the withdrawal. there were about 3 mercilessly bleak days that basically consisted of me determining that the only logical solutions to the remaining mysteries of quantum mechanics were solidly in the realm of profound nihilism and that i was an illusion. the only thing that got me through it was the fact that my cat loves the absolute crap out of me; so making her purr was my sole reason for existing last week, haha (which really, isn't much of a change from normal now that i think about it). sooo... that's my intro but like i said i really just want to ask about maintaining electrolyte balance because effexor withdrawal, dehydration, and *over*-hydration all have exactly the same set of symptoms and since stopping every single fluid in my body is taking every opportunity to come out of every possible hole it has access to, plus some. also i have questions about venlafaxine vs desvenlafaxine pharmacokinetics, mostly out of curiosity. i've had no luck with my own research because "venlafaxine" and "desvenlafaxine" are used interchangeably in a lot of lower quality information sources but there is enough of those that it just completely pollutes search results. i'm not actually sure how to ask a question cause all the "new post" buttons are disabled except for in this forum. so i'm just assuming i have to type this intro to get that privilege. in any case thanks for making this site and i really do hope that everybody here is able to get through whatever they're going through right now because this stuff sucks no matter how mild or severe it is. j ps generally poor sense of time + overall lack of structured life + confusion of the last few days + logistically complicated real life events = don't trust the precision of "2 or 3 days" above, i'm actually not entirely sure when my last dose of effexor was i'd have to work backwards to figure it out. but i'm pretty sure this has all happened in the last 2 weeks. overall though my state has been best described as "utter confusion".
  5. Hello, This is my introduction post where I will be sharing my drug history, experience, and goals towards a drug free life. A little about me: I am a 26 years old male with interests in animals, nutrition, fitness, socializing, movies, and other things. I have been taking citalopram for 21 years and my goal is to taper off of my current 10 mg dose down to zero. I would appreciate tapering advice from anyone with experience with successful SSRI tapering, especially citalopram. Backstory: I started medication around the time I was 5 years old, just starting kindergarten. My parents had recently gotten divorced and I was taken to a child therapist and then a pediatrician. I had a lot of tantrums as a toddler, poor eye contact, trouble making decisions, and I would frequently get in trouble at preschool. At the advice of the pediatrician I was put on 40 mg of citalopram, brand Celexa, and what seemed to be at about the same time, 60 mg of dextroamphetamine, brand ProCentra. I still would get in trouble a lot at school up until high school, but I was a very happy kid. I stayed on both of these medications at the same doses till I was 17 when I successfully requested to be taken off of some medication. I tapered off of dextroamphetamine with no trouble at all. It was a little tougher to concentrate on hw, but I didn't mind. After graduating high school and starting studies at my local community college, I decided to taper off of citalopram. As with the dextroamphetamine, I worked with my pediatrician to help me taper off of the medication. I was told this would be difficult so I tapered off between spring and summer studies. I didn't notice any negative effects all the way down to 10 mg of citalopram. I felt different being on a lower dose, but I liked how it felt. Tapering from 10 mg to zero, however, did not go well. I developed pretty unbearable irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). At this time I am starting my second year of community college and I am 19 / 20 years old. Besides having IBS, I had heightened senses, a bit of depression and anxiety, and I was less hyper and less enthusiastic. I became diet obsessed and tried to find food I could eat without getting bloated and or having digestive pain. I lied to my pediatrician and I said I was fine and decided to stayed off of the medication. I visited digestive doctors, got blood tests, and looked for diets to solve my problems. After about 6 months, I saw my general care doctor and asked to go back on citalopram at 10 mg. Before taking citalopram I requested to try a different medication, a tricyclic antidepressant. I can't remember why I thought this was a good idea. I started at a low dose and had unpleasant headaches among other weird feelings. After a month or so I decided to go back to citalopram. I believe I started with 5 mg and then worked my way up to 10 mg. I had almost constant headaches getting back on the medication, and driving felt different, possibly due to the medications effects on balance. I can't remember if I had headaches tapering off of the medication. After two to three weeks, I felt pretty good. At this time I believe I was entering my third year at my community college. I found my digestive system was generally okay if I ate whole foods and stayed away from cooking oils. My anxiety was still much more present than when I was taking 40 mg, and I didn't feel as happy. I have stayed on my 10 mg dose of citalopram since then. To help manage my anxiety, I meditate, stay physically active, eat as healthy as I can, and socialize as often as I can. There is so much misinformation out there, even in scientific research. I am not sure what to believe about the harms and benefits of antidepressants. I was for sure much happier on a higher dose, but I was also a kid when things were easier and I was still growing up, so its hard to say. These are very stressful times in the world, but there might never be a perfect time to try to taper off of the citalopram. I would appreciate any advice on tapering or any shared stories of similar experiences. Thanks for reading, VeganLife
  6. Hi everyone I was on Paxil 20mg for 19 years- most of which time it worked well (except for some weight gain and bloating). While studying at grad school I started taking Adderall for four years until it developed until a problem and managed to come off it inn July 2017. Went through the PAWs from that which lasted for a long time (and is maybe still ongoing). However, since I came off the Adderall, the Paxil appeared to have stopped working (either than or the PAWs from the Adderall was overriding its effects). So 5 months ago I decided to do the Prozac bridge to see if Prozac would work for me. I did a straight switch to Prozac 20 mg without any tapering and felt some withdrawals and also felt weird most likely from starting on the Prozac as well. While taking Prozac I have been up and down, with good weeks and bad. However, in the last two weeks I have had what seem suspiciously like the 'waves' I hear about on this site. I have felt the worst I have ever felt in my life and it seems very much like SSRI withdrawal to me (I've experienced withdrawals from Paxil several times before when I either ran out or tried to quit). This time symptoms include a sense of impending doom, nausea, tinnitus, hypersensitivity to stress, depression. It seems unusual to be suddenly hit with withdrawal symptoms 5 months after giving up Paxil and while still taking Prozac right? So my question is- is this some delayed withdrawal to the Paxil I stopped taking 5 months ago or is it some adverse reaction to the Prozac (even though I have had periods of feeling fine on it). I am leaning towards to the possibility of coming off the Prozac and reinstating the Paxil. Even though I was feeling pretty depressed when I was on Paxil last I didn't feel like this now where I basically feel like I'm losing my mind. Any recommendations on what I should do?
  7. I'm new to this site. My sister referred me (mod note: see sister's post here sister-of-saradee-help-needed-urgently-in-nj I'm 45 and have been on meds for bipolar, major depression, Bpd, Attention deficit, social phobia, Gad, panic disorder, dependant personality disorder, etc. I have been taking meds throughout my adult life and am have found no relief. In fact I think I believe these meds are making me sick, keeping me stuck, and making life unbearable. I've been on more antidepressants, tranquilizers, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers than I can remember and am currently taking ketamine for my treatment resistant antidepressant. I am also a "recovering" addict, although Im just as addicted to the drugs prescribed by my doctor as I ever was to street drugs. Heroin was my drug of choice, and I have been on suboxone for over 15 years now. In addition to the suboxone, I'm prescribed wellbutrin, xanax, Adderall, and Tamazapam and Ketamine. I literally take a pill to wake up, to go to sleep, to go to eat, and to go to the bathroom. Every day feels like a balancing act and I feel lucky when I get a few minutes that I feel well enough to get out of bed to get to my overwhelmingly long and over due to do list. I really am not functioning on any level and am having trouble finding hellp. I'm trying to get treatment but I can't seem to find a place who has a doctor who will work with me to get off the meds either because they aren't qualified or because I don't have a good enough support system in place for such a drastic change. So I have considered detox which scares me because 3 to 10 days does not seem adequate to get off a lifetime of meds. I would like to go to rehab as well, but would have to detox First. The other traditional option would be a psych unit, however, I'm afraid that that will just be more of the same...throwing medication at a problem that meds don't seem to be helping. Anyhow, I don't know if this is appropriate, or if I'm posting in the right place, but I just really need help. I feel like a huge burden to everyone especially my family, my daughter should be the focus and although my fiance is there for her, it's just not ok. I want this to stop but I just don't know what to do. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this. Any ideas or insight would be greatly appreciated.
  8. hi I’m spoonbill I’ve been anhedonic, cognitively impaired and mentally I’ll since highschool I’m 2016 when I abused a lot of adderall and mdma. Although I was more functional. My history also includes a couple years of Prozac st like age 13. But when it really got bad was last December after 5 days of cymbalta. I had tried a few ssris and sunrise for about a week or two previous to the cymbalta. I was also taking various nootropics like psilocybin, nac, lionsmane but I think for those 5 days I was just taking cymbalta anyway this cymbalta completely changed my awareness. It made me more numb, caused pssd, and made my executive functioning waaay worse. I’m like a different person. I’m way more miserable. Less witty and struggle with so much irritation and inability to see social lines and communicate. I just cannot understand how this happened. It feels like brain damage to me. I feel trapped. And suicidal for the first time in my life. It’s been months and only partially improved. I’m working 40 hours a week and suffering. **** man. What do I do? I don’t even like the same things or think or see things the same way any advice is appreciated . Keep your head up. I know how it is.
  9. I've been meaning to introduce myself for a while now, but getting myself to sit down and actually write something has been so incredibly hard. I just can't focus. Things I want to say or share come in bits and pieces and are gone by the time I can get on this site. I'very been tapering off Lexapro since August and am down to 10 mg fromy 30. I know it's faster than suggested here, but it seems to be OK. Well, I am still alive anyway. Since I can only seem to put together short thoughts on everything and need to get them out right away, I've decided to use Twitter primarily #TweetingMyRecovery. My handle is @AbleWriterSays if anyone cares to join me or follow along.
  10. Hey guys, My past medications: these were most recent, from the age of 15 onward: - Pristiq - 100 mg - Abilify - 15 mg - Fluoxetine - 20 mg - L-methyl folate (supplement) - Adderrall XR (in morning) - forget dosage - Adderrall , 2 throughout day - forget dosage When I was 10, I was dealing with a lot of anxiety due to an unstable home life at my Mom’s. I was diagnosed with anxiety and began taking Fluoxetine after an initial meeting with a psychologist followed by a psychiatrist. At age 15, I attempted suicide and was admitted to a teen unit at a local hospital. There, I was placed on many of the medications that would later be incredibly difficult to discontinue. By age 20, I had erectile dysfunction, weighed ≈285 pounds at 6’, couldn’t concentrate on anything, was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, had severely limited vision in both eyes, slept 12 hours per night, had a constant feeling of emptiness, and had an overall feeling of not being present in my life (just kind of floating around). On March 12th, 2020 (yes, at the beginning of the pandemic), I stopped everything Cold Turkey. It probably wasn’t the smartest move, but I’m so glad I did it. I went through about 4 months of what I can only describe as hell. Vomiting, diarrhea, alternating between sleeping for 12 hours and 3 hours per night, and a rollercoaster of emotions I’d never felt before. I’m currently 185 pounds, diabetes free, updated my license yesterday to remove my vision restriction (my vision corrected), have a pretty good running/ weightlifting habit / Nutrition approach going, I just finished 2 years at a local Community College with a 3.2 overall GPA in a transfer program to a B.S. in Chemistry, and life is fantastic. Everything works well, I’m feeling real, genuine emotions for the first time in my life, and I’m thrilled to be alive. The only drawback from this whole discontinuation process is that I now can’t stay in bed for more than 6-7 hours. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, getting the vision restriction from my license removed yesterday prompted me to speak about my story (I guess you could call it a personal milestone). I’m still navigating the whole relationship, being human, and experiencing emotions part of everything but I can say that for once in my life, I’m very happy. Feel free to ask me anything. Thanks everyone, Connor
  11. leoxx

    leoxx: Pristq

    I've been taking 50mg Pristiq for about 3 or so years I think. I've had acid reflux issues with SSRI use that seem to get worse over time. It got bad enough that I wanted to go off the Pristiq. I consulted my doctor about this, but she wanted me to get in with a primary care doctor first to have my acid reflux checked. I don't currently have a PCP and with covid, it's a lot of hassle, so after a couple of months of more acid reflux, I decided to "taper" of the Pristiq. It's worth mentioning that I also take generic wellbutrin and adderall to deal with autism. Pristiq was a medicine we had tacked on to the Wellbutrin to even me out. First starting at 25mg and then moving up to 50mg. I didn't think much of it since, at the time, it didn't seem like a high dose. I cut my 50mg pills roughly in half and took a half each day for 4 days. The first 4 days were pretty okay. After that I got dizzy spells (what people call the zaps). I expected this since I down dosed so quickly. I toughed it out for about a week and then dizziness went away. So at that point I thought I was done. I've been going through a lot of life stresses lately and my mood started to tank pretty bad. I thought it was all the stress, but I'm pretty sure now that it's withdrawal. I was pretty much crippled with sensory overload, anxiety, panic, and depression. My appetite was gone and I was force-feeding myself, but I couldn't eat much. I was in extremely rough shape and desperate for help. I live alone and dealing with that emotional distress was too hard to do alone. I spent significant amounts of time on the phone with my folks. They were packing to move to the neighboring state (Colorado), otherwise I would have gone to stay with them (I thought I was having Autistic Burnout). They eventually moved and I wasn't getting any better. With them gone, my local support network was basically 0. My therapist was working overtime with me (for free) because she was so concerned about me. It got to the point where I didn't want to be around my apartment (long story, but I felt it antagonized me from the neighbor noise), so I looked at checking my into a residential treatment facility. Long story short, my insurance wouldn't cover it because I wasn't actively suicidal (thoughts, but no intention, despite the hell I was going through). I broke down sobbing on the phone with my Dad. I was desperate and didn't know what to do. I asked him if I could stay with them at their new place. He talked it over with my Mom and said sure. It was very difficult for me, but I bought a next day flight to Denver. I had insane panic attacks that night about the flight (I've almost never flown). I called a crisis center just to have someone to talk to so I didn't feel so alone. I couldn't sleep at all. I'm a day sleeper generally, so flying at noon made me sleep deprived. I don't know how i got through the whole process and flew out here to Denver, but I did. I was actually doing pretty okay at first. I was overdid it though and towards the evening I just crawled up next to my mom on her bed and sobbed. My stomach started getting really achy that night, which was more intense than it has been before. I wasn't thinking clearly. I wanted to go into the doctor but insurance would only cover ER out of state. Anyway, eventually I talked things over with a nurse practitioner over the phone and she basically told me the ER was unnecessary unless I was in extreme pain and to try some pepto and check in with an in-network doc online. I went to bed. I slept for over 16 hours straight. I was exhausted. That evening I had more panic and crying. I realized then, now that virtually all my stressors from home were gone, that this whole ordeal was very similar to the Xanax withdrawal I was going through about 3.5 years ago. I did some googling and found this site. I read through the entire page on tapering off Pristiq and pretty much any other information I could find and realized how bad the Pristiq withdrawal really is. I explained this to my folks and it made a lot more sense to them. Despite all this, since it's been I think close to 3 weeks since I first tapered, I thought I'd try to see this through to the end. Well, in addition to some anxiety and crying tonight (it seems to be getting better), my stomach is hell right now. It's been cramping to the max. I was even dry heaving earlier. This is all new. I've also been unable to sleep more than about 6 broken hours in the last 24. The other motivation is that I didn't bring the Pristiq with me to Denver, only my other meds. If i were to taper now, I'd either have to find a pharmacy that would tide me over here and pay out of pocket or go home with a costly plane flight and go back in the 50mg until I can get hold of my doctor. That said, I was hoping to stay here through Thanksgiving and really don't want to go back to the noise, stress, and loneliness of that apartment. I know withdrawal times can vary and the best course is to generally taper down. But having been through so much and knowing that Pristiq is very hard to taper off of, I almost feel it might be more convenient and less painful in the long run to just stay the course. My question is, how much longer do you think it will take for my CNS to get back to some sense of homeostasis where I can function better? So far my mood has been much better, except for some hiccups during the night where I get dysphoric. The real bear right now is my stomach. Will I be out of the woods soon?
  12. I found this forum after starting a too fast taper and I’m not sure where to go from here. I started 150 mg venlafaxine xr in Feb 2020. I went down to 112.5 mg in summer 2020 with no side effects that I remember. We tried to taper to 75 mg in February 2021. I missed a week accidentally and ended up back on 112.5 mg after severe mood changes. November 2021 we tapered abilify 10 mg to 7.5 and then to 5 mg in Dec 2021. In January we tapered venlafaxine 112.5 mg to 75 mg. I had a period of mania and insomnia that lasted 5 days. Psychiatrist tapered again starting Feb 17th to 62.5 mg. 37.5 mg extended release and 25 mg immediate release half tablet (12.5) am and pm. Since Feb 18, 2022 I’ve had an intractable migraine. No meds are touching it and I can’t take most due to having hemiplegic migraines. Neurologist started me on depakote Feb 26, 2022 (which I really don’t want to take but was told only option for hemiplegic migraines right now) and a steroid taper. Psychiatrist wanted me to start gabapentin for withdrawal but It didn’t help so I didn’t take it for more three days and I also learned what it can do. Psych med wise I am also on 15 mg Adderall for fatigue and mild adhd. I also have a script for prn Ativan 0.5 mg that I rarely take. I’m just not sure where to go from here. I have added what supplements and otc I’m currently on too. Scripts in signature. Contemplating stopping nac and ashwagandha. Loratadine 10 mg Magnesium 100 mg tablets 400 mg am 400 mg pm Macapause- 2 pills am 2 pills lunch Wise women herbals women’s meno caps 1 am 1 pm Vitamin d3 5000 iu every other day 10000 IU on other days Thorne Omega 3 with CoQ10 1 pm Adrenal natural glandular 2 pills am 2 pills pm Activated Quercetin 3 capsules pm Chelated Zinc 30 mg 1 pill pm NAC 500 mg 1 pill pm DIM Elite 2 pills am Methyl guard plus 2 pills am Sensoril Ashwagandha 250 mg 1 pill am Rhodiola 200 mg 1 pill am French oak extract 200 mg 1 pill PS 100 100 mg 1 pill am 1 pill lunch
  13. Spring 2014: Effexor ? mg for 2 months then cold turkey (didnt know better at the time). Originally put on this for depression after a break up. Fall 2014: Dizziness, extreme memory issues, pins and needles in hands and feet. Occasional adderall use. Working 2 jobs to pay for engineering school. Health anxiety started when doctors couldn't find cause of symptoms. Tried samE, 5htp. Winter 2014-2015: tried molly with a friend. Ended up in the ER. Months that passed included many ER visits and eventually klonopin (? mg) Spring 2015: after researching benzo dangers wanted off. Tried to taper. Horrid withdrawal. Switched to diazepam 6mg. Dog/best friend died of cancer. Started celexa 10 mg. Rest of 2015: Moved back in with mom, slowly tapered diazepam, stopped daily on new years 2016. Winter-Spring 2016: back in school. Stopped celexa 10mg in January. Pins and needles and depression in February. Started on wellbutrin 150mg. Increased anxiety but allowed me to finish school. Graduated. Stopped wellbutrin after graduation. Summer 2016: quit job too much stress while going through what I now know to be withdrawal. Drove for ride share service when feeling well enough. Felt like living with chronic fatigue syndrome. No doctors could find cause. Fall 2016: started back on celexa 15mg after rock bottom depression. Eventually wellbutrin added back at 75mg. Moved to a new state. PM panic attacks started after going back on celexa. Started full time engineering job. Winter 2016 - Winter 2018: wellbutrin gradually increased to 300mg. Started celexa taper. 15 down to 10mg. Increase in depression but tolerable. Spring 2019: tapered celexa down to 5mg. Extremely depressed. Affected relationship. Found a psychiatrist who wanted to switch me to zoloft. Relationship break up the week of starting zoloft. Zoloft lifted depression at first. Summer 2019: got back together with boyfriend. zoloft increased to 50 then 75 then 100. Horrible reaction to 100mg. Worst anxiety of my life. Stopped cold turkey. Back on 2.5mg celexa. Dr Then tried liquid zoloft increase from 0 by 1mg every few days to cross taper with celexa. Able to stop wellbutrin easily. Also had tooth extraction during all of this (infected root canal). Fall 2019: up to 8mg zoloft 1mg celexa. Horrible anxiety. Stopped zoloft cold turkey after getting suicidal thoughts from severe anxiety. Current: trying to find a celexa dose to stabilize on. Trying 2.5 mg. Anxiety and fatigue battles daily. going to write more soon. Just wanted a quick recap to start.
  14. I made this account last year but for some reason I could never get this intro done or participate here until now. If I disappear ever, don't worry too much about me as I guess I'm just mentally incapable of following through with things or keeping in contact (maybe this is another withdrawal symptom... I don't know, my brain is ***** up right now) My (very abbreviated) history... In 2012 I was first prescribed Abilify to supplement my antidepressant. In September 2019 a new psychiatrist recommended I go off of it because of the risk of tardive dyskinesia. Two weeks after my last dose of Abilify, the akathisia hit me like a truck. I thought it was "restless legs but all over". I slept maybe two hours every OTHER night. After two weeks of this torture, I finally went to the doctor and asked her to help me with my "restless legs" and she prescribed carbidopa/levodopa, which didn't really work well, so then she prescribed Mirapex. It helped at the minimum dose, but not enough, so she increased the dose to 0.25mg, which is what I'm at today. In early 2020, the Mirapex caused a months long manic episode, after no prior history of mania, that I wasn't even aware was happening. In the midst of this, I was obsessed with figuring out what happened to me because restless legs didn't really seem to fit. Finally found akathisia, and presented this to my psychiatrist and she agreed with me about the diagnosis. She seemed doubtful that the mania was caused by Mirapex even though she had no alternative explanation, I'd never had mania before, and if you google medication-induced mania Mirapex is right there near the top of the list. Obviously I still think it was the Mirapex. The Mirapex never really took care of the akathisia completely, so since the beginning of this year I've been using medical cannabis to help because it helps me sleep through the breakthrough akathisia at night, and it does help a little at keeping it away too. The past two years have been miserable. I feel like my mind hasn't been the same since. I can't focus, I can't get anything done, I can't properly socialize... I'm just not the same. I've since attempted to taper both sertraline (my antidepressant) and Adderall, though I did it mostly at the advice of my psychiatrist. She never agrees with me about how slowly I want to taper, and I probably should have tapered the sertraline and Adderall WAY more slowly. Currently... I'm down to one medication now (plus cannabis). At my last appointment with my psychiatrist, I requested to start tapering Mirapex. She agreed and told me to take one and a half pills (instead of my normal dose of two). I proposed the slower way by using liquid but she said that the full dose is so tiny already that half a pill should do nothing to me. I knew she was wrong but I don't really have much fight in me, so tried it. Of course, that was way too large of a jump and I can't sleep now the akathisia is so bad. I don't know if this counts as withdrawal from Mirapex itself, or if the akathisia is just coming back because I'm reducing the medication that's keeping the akathisia away. I don't want Mirapex anymore because I think it's still messing with my brain (even though I'm not longer manic), which she doesn't believe it is either. Maybe my brain is just broken from the Abilify, sertraline, and Adderall still. I just want to be me again. I'm going to be trying the 10% reduction per month with Mirapex. Hopefully my psychiatrist agrees but if she doesn't I'm just going to ask for my original dose back and do it anyway. Any and all advice is super appreciated. I have no idea what's the withdrawal and what's just me and my stupid nervous system anymore, but here's what I'm concerned about right now: akathisia the (probably) inevitability of Mirapex augmentation my executive function is approximately at zero right now I'm really depressed I want to keep up with/help my family more and actually be able to work/do my job and honestly just keep up with daily life like caring properly for my pets and not living in the most cluttered non-hoarder apartment you've ever seen. I feel like I'm missing a bunch of stuff because I feel absolutely awful and the explanation above doesn't feel like it properly describes that but oh well... Questions (In no particular order) If you're familiar with Mirapex, is the 10% per month thing the right way to go? Is there any hope that I'll be able to get off of Mirapex completely? Do you have any self-care tips to make this easier on myself and my body? Are there any supplements I should add to my routine that could help? Any tests for deficiencies that I should get just to make sure I'm not low on something? Would starting to exercise help me or just add more chaos to my system? I'll probably have more questions later but it's still hard to think so I guess I'll leave this for now
  15. Hey everyone, I’m 27 years old and have had a really hard time since having an adverse reaction to several drugs last year. I started 300 mg Wellbutrin SR in October 2016 and stopped in December 2016 since I was going home for winter break for grad school. I had some chest pain for that month, but other than that, I was fine and I resumed in January 2017. Still finding it incredibly hard to concentrate, I went home to my primary care doc and he prescribed me Adderall (forgot the dosage, but was relatively low). I took Adderall for about 9 days in March 2017 until I found it wasn’t working so I stopped until I could see my primary care doctor again. I went home again in April 2017 to see my doctor again and he then gave me Ritalin. I took Ritalin for about a week until I started having serious sucidal thoughts, so my doctor advised me to stop it. I was then drug-free for about 6 weeks until I took Wellbutrin again in June, but this time it was a different formulation (2 150 mg pills instead of 1 300 mg pill, and I believe it changed from SR to XL). I became really nervous being outside, which wasn’t uncommon for me since I hate the summer heat and the bugs that come with it. But it gave me such intense anxiety that I couldn’t even walk outside for most of the week and was sent into a panic when I had to go outside. The following week is when disaster struck. Previously my doctor had suggested to take both Adderall/Ritalin and Wellbutrin at the same time, since he didn’t want to change more than one variable at the same time. But my provider at school said it would be fine to just take the stimulants prescribed so I went with the school provider since he had been overseeing my psych med care anyways. The morning before I took all 3 meds together, I had the worst back/neck pain I’d ever had and attributed it to falling off my pillow. I later took Wellbutrin, Adderall, and Hydrochlorothiazide (for high blood pressure) together and a few hours later, my hands and feet became numb. Just thinking it was a temporary side-effect, I took the same drugs the next day, where the numbness and tingling got worse and after speaking with a pharmacist, decided to go the ER. At the ER, they didn’t think it was really anything serious and told me to just stop taking the medications and that the effects would stop in a few days. Except that they didn’t. Over the next 6-7 weeks, from mid-June to early August 2017, I had numbness, tingling, internal shakes, tremors, eye problems like floaters, and was so uncoordinated that I continued bumping into and dropping things. I had to go to the ER 3 more times within that same period, and each time the doctors didn’t do anything. At about 6 weeks, I started to clear up and eventually all my symptoms disappeared in time for school to start. But that would also be short-lived. During the first week of September, I got sick again, thinking it was a cold and was put on allergy medication, which I took for two days and all the symptoms from the summer returned, and I eventually got so sick that I had diarrhea and felt like I was going to faint, so I was placed on propranolol until I stopped CT in January. From September to October 2017, I had all the symptoms from before, plus sleeping issues, rashes, and soreness. I was so sick that I left school for this period of time and went home to see countless doctors, none of whom believed it was medication-related. At home, I developed hypnic jerks that woke me from my sleep as well. In October 2017, right before I returned to school, I started getting muscle twitching and burning, which has honestly been the most concerning symptom in this whole thing. The twitching persisted for about a month, then stopped in November. But then it came back again in mid-December 2017 and got progressively worse until the end of March 2018. When it started again in December, an ER doctor put me on Ativan for a few days and then I was put on Zoloft which I took for about a month until the end of January 2018. The twitching reached its peak and then stopped completely by the end of March 2018. It then came back in May 2018 but instead of having its more predictable pattern, it has been more severe some days and much less severe on other days. I’ve also started to get some of the symptoms I thought I was over back again, like the numbness when I wake up or the eye problems like seeing sparkles of light, eye floaters, and eye twitching. I’m just so worried about this twitching thing because it makes it so hard to sit down, meaning I won’t be able to continue pursuing my dreams. I also thought it’d be gone by now since I’ve had periods where this has completely disappeared. What can I do to treat this?
  16. Hello, I really appreciate seeing everyone's stories and strategies, and it helps to know that I'm not alone. I am in my late 20s and have been on and off many meds since a hospitalization for depression in 2005. By fall of 2016, when I started the “taper”, I was on 4 medications: Cipralex 20mg, Adderall 30-40 mg, Abilify 2mg and Wellbutrin SR 200 mg. The first 3, I think I was taking for around 2 years after numerous failed treatments including various meds and rTMS; however, I have been taking the Wellbutrin for 12 years. On that regimen of 4, from something like 2014-2016, my mood was generally in-check but my life was beginning to fall apart. I graduated and got a full time job in the summer of 2016, but I was having horrible energy crashes randomly during the day. Sometimes I couldn't keep my eyes open or stay seated. I struggled socially. My memory and attention were affected, and I would cry randomly. I had trouble believing it could be from the meds because they were supposed to do the opposite. In Sept 2016, I was off work and on disability. It was an incredibly confusing situation, and everyone, including myself, blamed my brain. Soon after that I began having a gradual and profound shift in perspective as I realised that meds may have been more of a problem for me than a solution. At some point in the fall of 2016, I started my withdrawal journey. First, I stopped the Cipralex over a few weeks, and became incredibly anxious. It was really horrible; I would get spells of pacing and yelling at myself. I couldn't meditate or do anything to calm down anymore. After a few months of that, I then tapered the adderall over around a month. At that point, I became really exhausted, was getting frequent (but not ER level) suicidal thoughts, and had trouble doing anything. I eventually got accepted for a volunteer job to which I had previously applied, and reinstated half of the adderall to function. However, I was scared that the tolerance crashes might come back, so my doc switched me to Vyvanse 20-30 mg. It was smoother but I was still concerned that it was not a long-term solution. I finished the volunteer job, then I read about things that other people had tried and decided to do some lifestyle changes. I stopped sugar and gluten and got outside a lot. Then I tapered both the vyvanse and the abilify at the same time over around 2 months. It was not as bad this time, and after a few more months off of them, I was mostly able to concentrate and wasn't getting very many dark thoughts. My emotional depth and variety, as well as cognition, were even beginning to improve. Once I could sort of focus again, I decided to try the paleo/keto diet and taper the wellbutrin. The problem with wellbutrin is that I have unsuccessfully tried to stop it numerous times over the past decade by following the traditional taper advice. Each time ended with me falling into an awful depression a few weeks later, and eventually back onto the med. I had been convinced that this was evidence of a chronic underlying depression, but now reading other people's stories, I'm going to be optimistic and assume that it was delayed withdrawal. So, I felt a little better on the paleo diet and dropped the WB dose from 200 mg to 100 mg on Oct 25, 2017 (right before I found this forum). I then became very sluggish with low motivation, but after a few weeks I was able to get out of bed in the morning again and do a few things. It's been 5 weeks now and no terrible-delayed-withdrawal-depression yet. I'm mostly just tired with trouble getting started on tasks. I asked for an extension on my leave from work to finish sorting this out. Surprisingly though, my difficulty connecting with people and obsessive thinking are improving in intermittently - I'm not sure yet if that's from going off the meds or from the changes in diet, but I greatly welcome it. By reading other people's success stories here, I learned that my best chance at becoming free from the Wellbutrin is to do the rest of my taper extremely slowly. I have an appointment with my doc next week to make a plan. This doc is good so it should go okay. I would be interested to hear anything from you!
  17. Hey all, 36 year old here – trying to sort out withdrawal effects, med side effects and potential underlying medical issues. Current meds: Bupropion (Wellbutrin) IR – 75mg w/breakfast, 37.5 w/ lunch, 37.5 with dinner (150 mg total) Amphetamine salts (Adderall) – 2.5 mg morning, 2.5 mg afternoon (5 mg total) Caffeine – 100 mg late morning Loratadine (Claritin) – 10 mg w/ breakfast Cefuroxime (antibiotic) – 250 mg morning, 250 mg evening Doxylamine Succinate (OTC sleep aid) – 17.5 mg before bed Current / past health issues: Depression – on and off since about 2000, started Bupropion in 2009 Anxiety – has always been low level, much worse since WD started IBS – dx around 2000 Chronic bladder inflammation (interstitial cystitis) – dx in 2010 Prostatitis – sort of chronic, reason for current antibiotics WD history, short version: Started Bupropion (SR) about 10 years ago. 2018 tapered 50 mg at a time from 300 down to 150. 2/2019 tried to taper from 150 to 100 and stopped due to withdrawal effects. Effects returned 4/2019 despite no dose change. Ended up switching from 150 SR to 150 IR on April 26th, and made large cut to my Adderall and Caffeine doses April 29th. Still recovering from symptoms and trying to stabilize fully. WD history, long version: In 2018, I started tapering the Bupropion down 50 mg at a time (at the advice of my doctor) starting at 300 mg. At the time I was taking the SR formulation. Sept/Oct 2018 - I taped from 200 mg to 150 mg around and got fairly sick for a week in October. Upset stomach, fever, flu-like symptoms. At the time I thought it was just a stomach bug, but after having similar symptoms during WD I’ve been wondering if it was WD. Feb 2019 - Tried to taper from 150 mg to 100 mg and experienced severe dizziness, nausea, fever/chills and sinus symptoms. I went back up to 150 mg after 5 days and felt better within a day or two . April 14th - Picked up my Rx refill, and on April 15th I started to feel lightheaded, dizzy and tired. I got worse over the next few days with headache, congestion, fever/chills, nausea and chest pain. I went to an emergency dentist on 4/21 thinking it might be an abscessed tooth (they said tooth looked fine) and went to urgent care due to pain while urinating. Urine culture was normal, and I tested negative for flu. I went to my PCP on 4/23 with very bad shakes in addition to the other symptoms. At this point, I started wondering if my new refill had somehow been a “bad batch” of the generic meds, so I got an Rx for the same meds from a different manufacturer. I tried that for two days with no improvement. 4/26, I switched from Bupropion SR (taken once a day at this point) to Bupropion IR (taken 3 times a day). The total dose didn’t change. Also had blood work done (CBC w/ diff, comp metabolic panel) – results normal. 4/29, following a morning with very rapid heartbeat, I cut my ADD meds (generic Adderall) from 15 mg to 5 mg. I also cut my daily caffeine from 200 mg to 100 mg. I’d reduced both the ADD meds and the caffeine in the past without any apparent ill effects, so I didn’t think it would have any effect this time around. 5/6 – 5/13 - Symptoms mainly resolved, except for some GI issues. 5/14 I had a rash, fever and shaking. Bad anxiety due to symptoms – went to Urgent Care b/c of rash. Over the next week I also started getting nauseous. 5/22 – Had blood work done again - (CBC w/ diff, comp metabolic panel plus ESR-Wes+CRP to check for inflammation). Also had Urine Analysis. All results normal. 5/29 – 6/6 again felt mostly better save for some lasting GI issues including mild belly pain. 6/6 had fever, chills, fatigue, added dizziness and shakiness over the next few days Most of June: occasional dizziness and stomach pains. 6/17 - Tried to taper from 150 to 131. Reinstated after a few days dizziness and nausea. Early July: Feverish, pains in stomach and chest. Occasional tightness in chest and heart palpitations. Lots of anxiety about symptoms. Started antibiotic July 17th. Current (past few days): some pain in stomach and chest, more frequent heart palpitations. Stomach a bit upset (probably due to antibiotics). I’m seeing a therapist every other week, mostly about anxiety. I’d been planning (hoping) to try tapering the Bupropion again this coming week because I have a few weeks off work, but I’ve having second thoughts since I just started the antibiotic. Also wondering if it would be better to taper the caffeine first, since I should be able to get off that more easily. Glad I found this site, very good to know I’m not the only one 😊
  18. Where do I go from here? The first week of Nov. I tried to CT .5mg of k. I think I was off 4 days and then reinstated once the withdrawals hit me. I thought I would be able to stabilize so suffered for a month with intense anxiety and nausea with no relief. I thought for sure the V would save me so I crossed over to 10mg the first week of Dec. Unfortunately I was one of the rare, unlucky ones and couldn’t handle it. It caused horrific depression. After giving it 2 weeks I went back on .5mg k. Since then I’ve just been trying to make it day by day. Although the depression lifted a little bit I still cry everyday and the anxiety/nausea has slowly crept back in. I don’t know how or when I’ll be able to start my taper. I’m so scared. Prior to CT off benzo- I gave up my life in Arizona and moved home to live with my parents in Michigan this past Oct. I was on 6 psychiatric medications for depression. I CT the mirtazapine and Abilify I was on and felt amazing until I tried the same thing with the benzo. I also went down to 200mg from 300mg Zoloft and went down from 60mg Adderall to 10mg. I had to increase my dosage of Trazodone from 100 to 200mg. I’m 36 yo, divorced, no friends, no job. I don’t want to live with my parents forever. I don’t know how I am ever going to rebuild a life for myself.
  19. I'll introduce myself as Yabba, I'm a 22 year old male who has been diagnosed with many things over the past 10 years, but in the past 4 everyone has agreed It's BPD & Anxiety. I've been on various medications from prozac to olanzapine to alprazolam, It all started when I was 12, I was put on psychiatric drugs at this age, this is where it all started really - I'm feeling xyz so they prescribe what they think is right, The symptoms of one medication caused side-effects so they would prescribe another to counter. At one point I was on six medications at one time (16 y/o). So now for current day events: My psychiatrist has informed me that Zeldox causes side effects that are irreversible and I should consider moving to a newer anti-psychotic which he gave me a choice, Latuda & Saphris. I've had history with one but not the other. I was on 160 mg of Zeldox (Max daily dose) and I was informed by him I should come off slowly, since being on such a high dose for multiple years (3+) it may or may not be difficult. I've tapered down to 40 mg and wow, this is what emotions are like? My question is to others who have tapered off anti-psychotics: Is this like "wall" of emotions normal? I'm so happy throughout the day, I have lots of energy , but sometimes I'll see something on youtube that will just hit my heart some kind of way and I'll just start to cry, I'm not sad or depressed, I'm just in tears. My goal is to stop anti-psychotics all together, the past 2 months of being tapered off my life has only got better since being on a reduced dose, I'm enrolled back in school to get my diploma (3 credits) I've already made plans for collage, I went and got my licence back, applied and accepted for new bank account and credit card. For the first time in so long things feel good . I don't feel the same 2 emotions anymore & it gives me hope that I can finally do something with my life , that this illness beat me for a decade but In the end I won. Current Medications: Zeldox 40mg Adderall XR 10 mg Alprazolam 2 mg PRN Trazodone 300 mg PRN (for the rare night I can't sleep and I have an appointment the next day ect) p.s Too anyone else with BPD: This **** sucks, but you're a good person. We don't get told that enough but we are. Don't let the stigma get you down.
  20. Hey everyone! Just wanted to introduce myself and let you all in on my journey and discontinuation of antidepressants. I am 28 years old and just ended an 11 year relationship with AD's. There was so much shame I felt being on these drugs. I felt like I was this great person because of the pills I was taking and nothing more. I wouldn't dare tell a soul I was taking antidepressants for fear that they would then see the pill and not me. Make sense? I said goodbye to Sertraline in November 2017. After completing yoga teacher training and having this new perspective of myself and my life, I started to actually feel the chemicals that weren't meant to be in my body. I had tried tapering off of Sertraline 3 times prior to the last over the past few years. The previous tries I would make it about a month or two before surrendering back to the pills to make myself feel better if I started feeling sad or uneasy. This time was different. VERY different. This time I started with intense research. I wanted to discontinue the dosage but this time was for real; I would do my homework and get off of these things once and for all. And what I found first broke my heart, made me angry and then gave me hope. The anger is still present when I try to find a reason 'why' people are enslaved to these prescription drugs. The research I found led me to this site, and I continue to research the effects and harms that these medications actually do to people, unbeknownst to them. The cause of our sadness is residual, stagnant energy trapped in our bodies from a traumatic event or life experience that changed our perspective of what is. When we take these medications, we are never actually dealing with the source of our problems, rather than masking it over with a clouded perception of reality. I used to love my prescriptions. Even after I would attempt to quit, that love would return after I felt 'better' taking them again. I was prescribed my first antidepressant when I was 16. I was missing a lot of school because I slept in too late. I just loved my sleep. Eventually, I was sent to the PCP to see what could be done about this sleeping problem.. Well, her answer was Citalopram (Celexa). This was the beginning of a battle I never wanted to be involved with but here I am. And P.S. the sleeping issue was not resolved in any way thereafter. To keep it short, I will just give you a brief history of how my dance with prescription drugs evolved after that: 2006 Celexa (Citalopram) 40 mg & Adderall XR 75 mg (a lot of the times more because I was heavily addicted) 2007 Citalopram & Ritalin (don't remember mg) .. soon after Vyvanse (don't remember mg) and finally to Amphetamine Salts due to unpleasant side effects from the Ritalin & Vyvanse.. ** indicates time period where Amphetamine Salts were prescribed 2008 ** Citalopram 40 mg-> Effexor XR 75 mg after a psychiatric evaluation (which I now understand was due to the medications and the effect they had on me mentally ... psh) 2009** Effexor XR 75 mg - Paxil (Paroxetine) 30 mg due to the INSANELY high cost of Effexor without insurance I was forced to wean myself off and switch 2010** Paxil 30 mg-> Sertraline 50 mg due to weight gain and lethargy 2011-2013 Sertraline 50 mg -> Wellbutrin (Bupropion Hcl) 75 mg due to sexual side effects and wanting to feel alive again 2013-2017 Wellbutrin 75 mg -> Back to Zoloft (Sertraline) 75 mg because the anxious side effects of the Wellbutrin made me uneasy and Sertraline seemed to be the only AD that had the least side effects at the time 2017 Sertraline 75 mg -> slow taper to 50 MG for two weeks -> halving the dosage & following this pattern until there was nothing -> 5 HTP 50 mg & 1200 mg Fish Oil NOW = 1200 mg Fish Oil and becoming accustomed to an Ayurvedic diet along with daily yoga practice**** this is HUGE and one of the main reasons I have remained clean from AD's Now, almost two months clean from prescription drugs I can say that there is still lots of work to be done. When you go through your teenage years and early twenties on AD's, you need to relearn how to interact and react as there is no longer that pill keeping you numb. Everything becomes real and raw. There are still days that I have my emotions consume my entire being in a negative way and I am still working on this. I WILL NOT GIVE UP. As of right now, it seems as though I am taking off from where I left off at 16 years old. This means emotionally and re actively along with maturity and sexuality. As many of you can relate, I could go on with this topic and how it has effected my entire life for ever and ever. There will be more posts that follow in regards to these drugs and how we can help each other become clean and free once again as we were made to be. Love and blessings to you all <3 we CAN do this..we are all in this together! LB Anti-depressants controlling tools of your system Making life more tolerable, making life more tolerable. The Unthinking Majority - Serj Tankian
  21. Hello- I am new here. I've been on psychiatric drugs for almost two decades now. I currently take Zoloft 300mg, Adderall 60mg, Abilify 15mg, Mirtazapine 45mg, Trazodone 100mg and Klonopin .5mg. I've only ever been diagnosed with depression which started in 2002. I don't have ADHD, bipolar, schizophrenia or any other known disorder. After suffering for many years and wanting to get off these medications I am finally going to do it. I am wondering if anyone has used the tapering strips from Dr. Groot? I am highly sensitive to these medications and from the withdrawal effects I've had briefly in the past- they were excruciating. I currently reside in Arizona but will be moving home to Michigan to start the withdrawal process very soon. Thank you and God bless us all. If you'd like to learn more about my story and experience or if I can be of help to anyone please let me know.
  22. I came across this forum in the recent New Yorker article and I’m excited to connect with others going through similar experiences. I’ve been dealing with this in isolation for far too long. JAN 2019 Over the years, I’ve been put on an increasingly complex regime - see signature. At the start of the year as I understand it, the mainstays were Wellbutrin + Pristiq, augmented by Latuda. Plus Adderall to combat daytime lethargy. I wasn’t satisfied: 1) I don’t like being on so many meds. I felt a personal stigma, plus I’m scientifically trained. Surely this was too many variables in terms of optimizing further. 2) I was still suffering from evening lethargy, basically crashing out around 8-9pm which was impacting my relationship and family. 5mg Adderall and a coffee at 7pm, and I could still pass out an hour later. WHERE I AM NOW: STREAMLINING MY REGIME This year, I’m working to simplify the regime with my psych. Immediate goals - taper Pristiq, stop Latuda. 2019 goal - reduce to two or three meds. To taper the Pristiq, we added 10mg Prozac. We also added Abilify to replace the Latuda, which I hope to discontinue soon. So I went from 4 meds to 6, hoping this makes sense. The Pristiq tapering has been a real journey - The hardest phase was when I was taking 50mg every 2 days, then every 3 days. - Thanks to this forum, I read that that was a bad idea (the rollercoaster certainly felt like one), and we switched to 25mg daily. Thats where I am now. - The switch from 50 mg every 3 days -> 25mg daily surprised me by being the hardest transition in terms of depressive symptoms. This was combined with a foot injury which meant I couldn’t exercise much. When it rains, it pours! Would love to hear your thoughts on any of the above. Stay strong.
  23. Hi guys, sorry this may be a long post, I think it is okay to share my story on this. I am 21 years old, a college student about to graduate, and I have been on an SSRI for about 5 years now. I was diagnosed with ADHD and GAD when I was about 12, I have always been somewhat anxious and had issues with regulating my emotions. In 2013 my girlfriend broke up with me and I was really sad and feeling hopeless. After a few months of being down and also anxious, my doctor (pediatrician) decided to put me on 5mg of Lexapro. The Lexapro seemed to help (I think?) and I recovered somewhat quickly. Over the next few years, however, my doctor fluctuated my dosage quite a bit. I would get anxious, he would up my dosage, and then I would become a zombie and he would lower it. It did seem to blunt my emotions on a high dose. Other than that it was fine. However, the summer after my freshman college, I became extremely anxious and had an existential crisis, prompting my doctor to change me over to Zoloft and Trazodone. When starting Zoloft, I took 50mg and worked up to 100mg. It possibly helped my anxiety but my emotions became blunted again (or maybe it was depression?). I did not feel hopeless or sad, but I kind of lost the ability to have pleasure over simple things. After going through a hard time on Zoloft and Trazodone feeling empty and dull, my doctor and I decided to taper off to see if that would help. Every time I tapered, we would allow three weeks to go by to see if it helped. I went from 100mg to 75mg to 50mg to 25mg and eventually to nothing. Every time I lowered, I felt a little more in touch with my emotions. With the Trazodone, I stopped cold turkey on a dose of 50mg. When I went completely off of the Zoloft and Trazodone, I started having crying episodes, brain zaps, insomnia, anxiety, occasional anhedonia/brain fog, and severe social anxiety. After a month or two, all of these symptoms went completely away (except sometimes the anhedonia/brain fog). I was doing good and feeling very in touch with my emotions. After a few months off of the Zoloft though, the school year was coming back around, and the girl I had been dating for 2 years broke up with me unexpectedly. It devastated me and left me feeling sad and hopeless. I was crying all of the time, I was thinking about her all of the time, losing the ability to feel pleasure, and had anxiety because I still saw her every day. This continued on through the semester and I went home for winter break feeling depressed and anxious. I was feeling brain fog/anhedonia, and lost overall enthusiasm for life. It got bad enough that I knew I needed help, so I started talking to a therapist (I had seen a few before this one) and it was helping. I still was depressed, but was slowly improving. I started taking Adderall again to study for a certification exam over the break and this helped boost my mood tremendously. It cleared my mind, helped with the brain fog/anhedonia, and made me feel a little more peaceful inside (less racing thoughts). My psychiatrist decided he wanted me to take Trintellix and put me on a 5mg dose. I went back to school feeling down and anhedonic again. All the progress I made during seemed to start disappearing. I stopped taking the Adderall, and once the Trintellix seemed to start working I started becoming extremely anxious. I felt extreme depersonalization, started having weird sensory problems (visual snow, eye floaters, tinnitus, and my body started fluctuating between feeling tingly and numb) and was scared. My doctor upped my dose of Trintellix to see if that would help. I ended up taking Ativan to help with the anxiety. I was feeling less anxious but still had the sensory/depersonalization problems. Not to mention, my emotions went away again. The Ativan lowered my anxiety but made me feel completely dull and emotionless. I ended up tapering off of it and feeling better after a few months, but having a lot more anxiety/sensory issues. Since this (which was earlier in the summer), I started taking Adderall because I read a lot and it seemed my problems were kind of related to Adult ADHD. I always feel internally restless and have a hard time focusing, and taking therapeutic doses (20 mg or lower) seem to calm me down and clear my mind. Not to mention, it helps with my emotional regulation problem. Overall my academics and state of mind are improving. I have lowered the Trintellix from 20mg to 10mg over two months. I have had more sensory problems and anxiety since lowering the medicine, but it seems my emotions are slowly coming back. Every now and then, I get a nostalgic feeling that reminds me of what life used to feel like. It gives me hope. But I have been so up and down for the past 5 years, I am sick of feeling so unstable. I want to have emotions again and not deal with brain fog/anhedonia and anxiety for the rest of my life. I didn't have the former problem until taking medicine. I want the sensory problems to be gone. They only started after I started taking Trintellix. I need help with tapering off I think. Does anyone have any advice for me? I want to learn to treat my depression and anxiety in natural ways, and learn to regulate my emotions better. I want to believe I can live without taking medicine for these issues, because they only seem to exacerbate them. Do I have any hope of being stable again? I always feel uneasy inside and am constantly trying to distract my mind from this. I am sick of being anxious about these weird symptoms, everyone thinks I am crazy and writes me off. Will slowly tapering help this? I long for a day that I am not constantly thinking about being better, and can handle life's ups and downs. I am not wanting to be perfect, just to be able to not always think and worry about my mental health. I am always worrying about exercising enough, meditating enough, sleeping enough, eating well enough, and lowering stress enough. I think my issues could be related to tons of different things, but it is so hard to tell when you are put on medicines that only seem to compound the issue. School has been a big source of stress/anxiety and I am almost done, so I really want to take the time to improve my physical/mental/emotional/spiritual state of mind so life is not always this rocky. Thanks for listening, sorry this was so long.
  24. I'm 17 and I have been on Celexa 10mg, Abilify 10mg, and Adderall XR 20mg for over a year now. I was prescribed these medications for depression and bi-polar disorder (bi-polar runs in my mothers side of the family). The Abilify was tacked on along with the Celexa as a "stabilizer" for the Celexa, as my original psychiatrist said. When I first started taking these two medications I did have uncontrollable face movements, where it would look like I was disappointed or frowning, but this stopped after a month. My mind was foggy during the first few months, so I was prescribed Adderall for concentration. The Adderall does make me feel weird, but overall I feel it has been helped me overcome the fogginess. For the first 6-7 months of being on the medications, I would say I felt "better", but I never quite felt "myself" since I have been on them. The medications have helped me with making my mood more stable, I used to get very sad or have anger outbursts. Although I do not have these mood swings anymore, I feel very "blah". As if I am just there and that is it, every day I feel like I am just floating by. Another thing that effected me since starting the medications was my social life, especially in the past few months. Now I am very shut and closed off towards my friends and others. If I go out to a gathering with my friends I am extremely quiet and everyone is constantly asking, "are you okay?". I asked the few friends that know that I am on medications if was always shut off, they said I changed a lot; the people that do not know I am on medications just think I am going through something. For the past few weeks I have really been feeling "blah", and because of this I am really considering stopping the medications to go back to the better, old me. I made this post to share my story and would really love to hear your thoughts and opinions. Thank you for taking the time to read my long post.
  25. Moderator note: link to benzo forum thread - Bandboy: Tapering benzos and latuda Hi all. Began taking antidepressants around 2000. Tried them all, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Prestiq, and more I can't remember. A few years ago I was put on Abilify, but it caused too much weight gain. I was then placed on Latuda, which was effective. I believe I have developed a tolerance to Latuda, and I suspect it has caused higher glucose levels and at rare times difficulty swallowing. I tried a fast taper, 50, 25, 0 percent and about 3 days later started withdrawals--sniffling, claminess, irritatabilty. Went back up to 50% and the symptoms quickly subsided. Have initiated the 10 percent tapering and while I feel uncomfortable with the first drop, I can tolerate it so far. When I feel comfortable or in 4 weeks, whichever is first, I'll try another 10%. I intend to treat the depression with ketamine, which I have found to be effective for me.
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