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  1. I'll try to keep this kind of short. I've finally decided to post an intro today after reading posts on this site for a few years now which has helped a lot with understanding what's going on since most doctors just told me my SSRI discontinuation/withdrawal symptoms-which were unlike anything I'd ever experienced before and physically and emotionally worse than I'd ever felt-were a return of my depression & anxiety or possibly a bipolar disorder according to one doctor. I knew for a fact that it was not my original anxiety & depression, but I had no idea what was happening in the beginning or how to explain it. I had social anxiety, depression, & general anxiety since age 12 and was not allowed to drive/take the bus/go out or do much by myself other than going to school (because everything was too dangerous) by controlling, religious parents with their own high anxiety and agoraphobia. I was never allowed to receive counseling for these issues & when I went off to college, it was an extremely difficult struggle going from not being allowed to do almost anything to suddenly being responsible for figuring everything out on my own. I was also not great with time management skills & knowing how to plan ahead. (I actually relate to a lot of symptoms of ADD & Asperger's, which both greatly affect social skills & ability to get through college and would explain a lot of problems I've had. I have learned more about them in the past year, but can't afford to get diagnosed right now so I've just been looking at support groups for days when my nausea is lessened.) I felt overwhelmed all the time and all my negative thoughts worsened severely. I didn't see the free counselor at college during this time either because I was embarrassed about everything and about asking for help. I finally decided I wanted to try to make a change and try counseling the summer after sophomore year of college at age 20 and was at rock bottom, desperate to not feel depressed. I knew someone who said their antidepressant helped them, so I asked a doctor for medicine and they prescribed sertraline. After taking the first pill, I had a surge of anxiety and racing thoughts that made it impossible to concentrate. Within the first couple days on 25 mg of sertraline, I was gagging and dry heaving over and over for at least 20 minutes as soon as I ate anything. I would also throw up multiple times in a short timespan after one snack or meal. I called my Dr & was told to skip a dose and then change the time I took the dose from morning to night. After a week of this (dry heaving & vomiting all meals) on 25 mg, and another call to the doctor, I was told that digestive issues are a possible starting symptom and to increase to 50 mg. As soon as I increased, the gagging & vomiting increased even more. After 6 days of this, I called the doctor again and was told I could stop taking it altogether since it had been such a short amount of time on it. And to come in for a different medicine Rx after the weekend. The very first day that I didn't take the sertraline, I felt the worst nausea I had ever felt in my entire life. I ended up asking a friend to drive me to the ER because I felt so sick. I told the Dr how I had just stopped sertraline. The doctor said that my pupils were dilated and my reflexes were overactive. Then, he listed off illegal drugs & asked if I had taken those. (No, I've never tried any drug before). He said "You need to tell me what else is going on because the antidepressant couldn't have caused this." And I said "I don't know" and started crying. I do know that people in my family are highly sensitive to medicines and have since found out I have a gene that causes me to metabolize slowly so things build up for longer in my system. Anyway, the Dr left the room and at one point I was given Ativan in an IV by the nurse which did ease the nausea. When the Dr came back, he told me I had SSRI discontinuation syndrome, (he didn't explain what that meant), that I could never try another SSRI, and gave me a Rx for a small bottle of Ativan. My mom said he mentioned something on the phone to her about serotonin syndrome which dilated pupils and overactive reflexes are symptoms of, but I don't remember him saying anything about it directly to me. He also mentioned reinstating a small amount might help but my mom didn't pass this on to me until much later because she didn't want me to take it. After that, I experienced: -more dry heaving which gradually lessened in frequency -random times of vomiting after eating and after exercising when I wasn't sick & the food wasn't bad (or sometimes nothing was left to vomit & only a small amount would come up) -continuing debilitating nausea & dizziness -olfactory hallucination (putrid smell that wouldn't go away, would intensify around strong scents such as soap & car exhaust) -uncontrollable crying at every tiny thing (neuro-emotion, not regular sadness) -uncontrollable rage (neuro-emotion) -intrusive thoughts & floods of bad memories which I "word vomited" in texts to my sisters -didn't want to be around people who I associated with bad memories because it would greatly intensify neuro-anxiety. (I'd guess the feeling is similar to what people mean who talk about experiencing bad drug trips and how it's important to be with people you trust) -nightmares -paranoia/suspicion/distrust (felt like my mom & sister were not really my mom and sister even though logically, I knew it was them. Things feel creepy & sinister -almost like a horror movie sometimes. A post I read here compared the sinister feeling to a bad LSD trip. I have never tried LSD, but I understood what they meant & is the closest way I found to describe it. -cognitive fog (thinking, processing speed, & reaction time is noticeably slower) (I was a slow thinker/processor before, but it feels like I have brain damage now) -memory problems (I was somewhat forgetful before, but am even more so now) -depersonalization ("it feels like the medicine changed who I am & I don't have an identity/sense of self which I still hadn't fully formed before sertraline) -derealization (feel emotionally disconnected & distant from people/atmosphere. I know things are real, but they don't feel real. Sometimes it feels like consequences won't matter or there is no sense of helpful anxiety even in a potentially dangerous situation. Logically, I know they do matter and still want to do the right thing) -anhedonia/apathy/emotionally numb (don't care about things or have the same amount of passion for interests or feel empathy for other people's emotions or feel spiritual even though I had some spiritual beliefs before. Couldn't feel hopeful about anything/future or feel love towards or from anyone. These emotions have slowly returned to a certain degree since then & levels of ability to feel them have changed at different courses of time) -blurred/cloudy vision (when DR was at most intense, vision was different. Hard to explain) -eye floaters ( random black specks & lines) Didn't notice these until a year after DC-ing -constant yawning/air hunger -stomach/digestion issues -burning, tingling, itching, numbness, redness in feet -brain zaps/"crackles" (sometimes annoying, sometimes painful, but my most tolerable symptom) -head pressure/tightness, feels like head is being squeezed -headaches There was also a period of 6 months where I thought certain symptoms were over and after that period, the dizziness returned. Those are most of the symptoms I've experienced in the past approx 3.5 years. They're not in order. I'm 24 now. A few have gone away for the most part (vomiting, olfactory hallucination, yawning) and most are less intense. I have really improved a lot, I don't mean to sound overly negative. But, I still have the issues I went on the SSRI for & I have trouble accepting where I am & worrying about where to go from here & the uncertainty of how long this lasts because it has put lots of areas of my life on hold (I wasn't able to go back to college, I hope to someday) and ended up making things harder to deal with when I was told it would make them easier. (BTW, I am now seeing a counselor). I don't understand why people say SSRI's are not technically drugs when they have this much of an effect on your mind, mood, & perceptions. Sorry if I have over shared, I might need to post a shorter version of this at some point that's easier to read. And I'm still figuring out the layout of the website & where to post about certain questions & topics. I just know that sometimes other people's explanations made me feel better because I had some understanding of what was happening & words to describe feelings I'd never had before and didn't know how to explain. I've also had other stress & health issues and a few (physical health) medicines that have affected my withdrawal progress, but I guess that's a topic for a separate forum. Any advice, similar experiences, recommendations, tips for using the site, or insight into what happened to my brain is appreciated if anyone feels so inclined :)
  2. Hi guys! Its been almost 7 months since I ct Lexapro, having only used it in 1 month om 5 mg. Its only now for the last weeks that the zaps, vertigo, flu-sympthoms and burning are starting, and becoming more severe by each day.. And I have a constant low fever since one month. (No virus.) Im burning all over my body, not sensitive to touch really.. Just feels like im on fire. And feels like breathing.. Sulfur. Not a refluxprob. (Also kinda blushing in face) All worse in my belly. Having attacks where it kinda knocks me with burning nerves all over and then goes back to constant medium-burning.. My cold sheets in bed is a blessing to naked skin! Also, notice aches and getting weaker in all my muscles.. 😕 Im so afraid! Whats going on! Have someone felt like this?
  3. Hi, I am surfing this forum for over 2 years now. I took Mirtazapine in septembre 2017 prescribed by psychiatrist 15mg for 5 days and stopped because I felt "off", very dizzy & personality changes. Developed severe problems just after stopping. Could not talk on day 1, words would not come... 3 weeks later sleep was gone... so I sporadically took 7,5mg sometimes. Anyways... in Octobre I got into Psychiatry and Neurology to check out if I got some serious illnesss because I did not understand what was happening & could not connect it with the meds, thought they are totally benign. I got quetiapine & took it with low dose mirtazapine & developed dystonia & akathisia & stopped sleeping but still did not know what was happening so I CTed. After that I had 20 days no sleep, akathisia & all withdrawal/adverse symptoms imaginable. I could not relax or drift of to bed no matter what. This changed after 20 days I slept but it was toxic sleep.. like not the normal one I am used to... it was more like I slept because my brain couldn't manage it any longer. I still woke up with cortisol flashes every morning & akathisia. So I got on klonopin 1mg and life was somewhat ok... i tapered down to 0.5mg 3 months later and thought this will all go away soon, except that it didn't. ---- I complained of worsening vision, hearing, weakened perception of bodily sensations.... I feel like my body is still going through severe adverse/withdrawal reactions 25 months later... I feel like I sleep but I actually don't because since this started I feel like I am on cumulative sleep deprivation even though I sleep.... My body could manage cortisol spikes for a good year but then it got more and more derealized so I upped & upped the dose of klonopin till 8mg... I have no idea what to do now... my problem is that I feel like I haven't slept for a year or so.... even though I sleep because my symptoms are super super weird derealization. I feel like my mental space has gotten less and less for the last 2 years... Like if there is loud noise somewhere I can not talk because it takes over my brain... I have physically difficulty talking because it takes much more mental space to form sentences.... I feel like I am a complete outlier here because I can't idenfity myself with anybody who has symptoms like me. I am 27 and I just feel completely asleep while awake but not in a fun way anymore as I did in the first year. My vision & hearing are so completely off that I have serious difficulty percieving watching at my phone or something.... When I look into a room I literally feel like I am not processing enough... I wonder whether I should take some antipsychotics or antidepressants again because I literally feel completely hopeless, it's been too long already and I fear losing everything.... I can't continue living like this.
  4. LCatherine Hello, I am 25 and sometimes feel that my life is over because of Lexapro that was only taken for just shy of two months. I don't know where else to turn, my family and doctors do not believe me and my friends have never been through this hell, so they don't understand. I was a healthy, happy girl for 24 years. Mild anxiety, mild depression, but no severe mental health issues, especially compared to what I've experienced over the last 9 months. It started in September of 2019 when I decided to go on a hormonal birth control for the first time in years. Horrible mistake, I was immediately hit with crippling anxiety and waves of panic attacks. I could barely leave my home and cried all of the time because I didn't know what was happening. I had to go to work so I saw my primary care doctor and he prescribed me Zoloft. I had taken Zoloft roughly a year and a half prior for mild depression (again, NOTHING compared to what I've experienced recently) and it made me feel okay at the time so I thought I would give it another shot. It heightened my anxiety and made me very suicidal the second time, I believe because my hormones were out of whack so it wasn't really ME that it was treating if that makes sense. I went back to my doctor after only taking it for a week and he prescribed me 5mg Lexapro. This was the beginning of October. The first few days I thought maybe it was working, my anxiety was down and I felt calm. Something was instantly not right though, and I felt extremely off. I wrote in my journal that when I was speaking it felt like it was not really me, like there was a space between my thoughts and my words. My inner dialogue was completely silenced which was terrifying. Brain fog set in, things didn't connect or make sense, I felt nothing. I couldn't eat, I couldn't leave my bed and the next two months were a blur that I still have trouble remembering. My head constantly hurt, my ears rang, my vision was compromised, I was dizzy all of the time, had severe depersonalization/derealization and it felt like I had severe inflammation of the brian. I had adverse side effects and it truly felt like I was in hell. I was bumped up to 10mg despite feeling horrible. On Thanksgiving I was sitting with my mom and childhood best friend and her mother. I didn't care if I died, if they died, I just wanted to disappear and I knew I had to get off of Lexapro. I didn't have proper medical guidance and stopped cold turkey. It's been 5 months since stopping, and I would love to say that everything is back to normal, however that is not the case. The bizarre brian sensations, which I later learned were brain zaps, have subsided, but I still have horrible brain fog, waves of DP/DR, my inner voice is much quieter than it once was, and when I get stressed or anxious I feel like I may pass out. I still have ringing in my ears and eye floaters. I have been to the ER several times, I had an MRI done and multiple tests and everything came back fine. I have seen two different psychiatrists who just pushed more drugs, most of which I did not take. I did take a low dose of Amitriptyline briefly but stopped because it made me feel sort of manic and had other weird side effects. I should mention that I have been very sensitive to medication my entire life. I asked my psychiatrist if Lexapro could still be causing these symptoms and he said no, that when people come off of antidepressants they experienced flu like symptoms for 1-2 weeks and then are fine. I had to do research myself, because I never experienced any of these symptoms until I took Lexapro. I could feel it destroying my brain, and it has not recovered. It feels as if my nervous system is wrecked. I take fish oil, D3 daily and occasionally magnesium. My mom believes that the symptoms I'm experiencing are caused from breast implants that I got when I was 22, although I had them for years with no side effects, or due to vaping which I also had no problems with for a year prior to all of this. My question is, will it get better? Sometimes it feels like I will never be myself again. I have lost all pleasure in things I used to love. The idea of going back to school and starting a career seems impossible, and sometimes I feel like I will just be a vegetable and waste away. I try to stay positive most of the time, I have read success stories that give me hope, but other times I feel very hopeless. I don't want to go the rest of my life feeling brain dead and like I have no purpose because of a pill I was prescribed for two months. Please help.
  5. Hello, this is my first post, it’s nice not to just float out in space with this very difficult experience. My story is that I had been on 250 mg of Seroquel in combination with Lithium for about 8 years which kept my bipolar II in pretty good control since 2012. I then had a hypomanic episode in November 2019 (after one of the toughest years of my life, finally cutting contact with my abusive family of origin and the related trauma) that lead to my psychiatrist raising my Seroquel from 250 to 350 mg to help me sleep as I was not sleeping for 3 nights (not to control the hypomania itself). It’s an understatement to say that turned out to be a terrible misjudgment as after about 2 weeks on the significantly higher dose, I started to have severe vertigo as an adverse reaction. This same psychiatrist would not believe my adverse reaction/toxicity was due to the sudden jump in Seroquel, so I ended up switching psychiatrists after feeling talked down to and essentially abandoned. The new psychiatrist believed me and is a reasonable, compassionate person. He and I agreed I must come off Seroquel and quickly due to the vertigo toxicity which had me basically immobilized. In 3 days, I came down from 250 mg to 50 mg. The vertigo disappeared but within days after, I started to have insomnia (I am now sleeping with sleep meds), nausea and acid reflux, headaches and now about 6 weeks in to the withdrawal, the headaches are replaced by terrible dizziness and even more severe nausea, reflux has abated with help of meds. It’s really frightening and painful going through this to say the least, especially not knowing when it will improve. I work full time and have a family to take care of and my husband and I are frozen in a state of perpetual anxiety and a deep sense of crisis. Anyone experienced anything like this with Seroquel/Quetiapine or other atypical antipsychotics? Psychiatrists seem to know next to nothing about this issue. As a side note, I feel unable to raise the Seroquel level due to the severe vertigo issues I had while on it at the higher dose. Thanks in advance for pretty much any guidance or rays of hope, this is hell and I feel I’m on my own.
  6. Hi, I want to stop using this awful drug. My doctor wants me to try something else. I don't want to try anything but stopping. I have only been on 25mg of Zoloft for 6 days. Can I just quit? I need help
  7. Hi, I'm a Spanish member who developed neuropathic pain in both legs during 2 months of successive trials with 3 ADs (2 weeks desvenlafaxine, 2 weeks amitriptyline, 4 weeks imipramine), during last December and January mostly. The pain subsided mildly but not totally after stopping them and now the pain is usually a 6 and a 7.5 during waves, I really don't have actual windows. I do take mirtazapine 15 mg and tolerate it well since 2 years ago, when it was prescribed to deal with very severe IBS pain. But the combination with the aforementioned ADs shattered my nervous system, my IBS pain (which was a 5) disappeared and was replaced by this torture in my legs. It's now 4 months off the ADs that destroyed me, I am desperate for other people's experiences since I don't think I'm any better after all this time... PS: I have an extreme food intolerance with the IBS, I've been practically disabled for the last 3 years (30 now) and unable to eat anything appart from white meat, white fish and rice. Recent electromiogram is negative for neuropathy, lumbar RM shows Schmorl's hernia with edema in L5, but Drs don't think that's the cause of the burning pains. This is my history with meds: I began with extreme IBS pain, and my first year tried all kinds of natural approaches and diets. I ended up eating 3-4 things and still with crippling pain. Then... Dec 2018 to Sep 2019: Mirtazapine 15 (pain reduced from 7-8 to a 5) Sep 2019 to Oct 2019: Mirtazapine 15 + Olanzapine 2.5 Nov 2019 (2 weeks): Mirtazapine 15 + Duloxetine 30 (gave me extreme nausea after 12 days, but it was working for the pain) Dec 2019 (2 weeks): Mirtazapine 15 + Desvenlafaxine 50 (5/10 IBS pain disappears and 7/10 neuropathic pain appears in both legs) Dec 2019 to January 2020 (2 weeks): Mirtazapine 15 + Amitriptyline 20 (burning gets worse) January 2020 to Feb 2020 (4 weeks): Mirtazapine 15 + Imipramine 25 (burning gets much worse, I'm ready to quit after 2 weeks, but Dr claims the pain will subside if I keep taking it, after 4 weeks the pain is brutal, I stop imipramine on the 10th of Feb and keep just the mirtazapine, pain gets a bit better) March 2020 to April 2020 (1 month): I stop mirtazapine to see if it's causing the burning pain, with inconclusive findings. After a month WD kicks in, can't sleep and the pain is way worse, I reintroduce and symptoms calm down after 3-4 weeks. I still take the mirtazapine 15 and haven't done more changes.
  8. Hi there, I was really hoping I could get some advice as I seem to be in a bit of a stuck situation. So I had been of citalopram for 12 years before coming off it completely after a period of reducing my dose for a few months back in 2018. What followed after that was a horrendous 10 months which myself and the doctors seemed to have no idea what was wrong with me. It was the most terrifying months of my life. In January 2019 I very reluctantly started to retake citalopram, my doctor advised starting at 10mg but I started on less than 4mg, cutting and weighing the tablet. I reacted pretty badly to restarting the dose but out of utter desperation continued taking it and it did help ease some of the worst of the withdrawal effects after a few months. I tried taking the liquid form of the drug which seemed to instantly create an allergic type of reaction so went back to the tablet. Since 2019 I have continued taking my tiny dose of Citalopram at the same time very day. I react to the tablet often, suffering a burning sensation, bad leg pain, agitation and sometimes really bad itching but have been gradually reducing my dose. Over the last few months my withdrawal symptoms have been at their best and I am now taking 0.22 mg every night at 10pm. The problem I am finding is that my reaction to the tablet is getting worse and I have just spent the last 3 weeks reacting pretty much every night. I gave in last night and took a 5mg antihistamine which stopped the reaction and allowed me to get a nights sleep, the doctor says I should just take them all the time but Im worried this will somehow make my withdrawal even worse. I really want to stop this drug because frankly im really tired of taking something that make me feel so horrible every night but at the same time I am terrified at stopping or changing medication in fear of going back into the same type of hell I was living in when I was in my first withdrawal. I would really appreciate any advice as I don't really know where to go from here and constantly feel like I am trapped between feeling really bad taking the medication but knowing it can be much worse if I stop it. sorry for the long post. Thanks
  9. HopefulDawn My medication and health history before I took sertraline just in case it is relevant. I realise I might be recognised by some of this but I feel if my experience can help others and possibly help research it is worth it. . Have mild athsma but rarely took inhalers. . Took antihistamine certraline 1 per day for allergic rhinitis for a number of years. . Took cocodamol fairly soon before starting sertraline. . Have a mild case of cerebral palsy from birth. spastic hemiplegia . Autistic (aspergers type) Brief overview of when things happened and symptoms: January 2018: Was struggling with a breakup, had an anxiety and issues getting to sleep; I really was hoping for counselling or someone to talk to and I believe that would have helped me but instead was given sertraline. First day I took it I was fine, second day I took it I was fine and on the 3rd day morning I began feeling unwell. My jaw started biting together on its own (like when your very cold but much more forceful), I was having numbness in different body parts, had mydriasis (really dialated pupils) I felt like I was dying in a way and I suppose that was when my personality was changed and my emotions changed. My sense of time altered. Began having movement issues where my body would freeze up and I couldnt carry out actions as my body would stop as if I was playing musical statues. Weird feelings when I moved sometimes and weird kind of pain in my body which was very uncomfortable. Feelings of terror. Emotional lability where I could not control my emotions they would just happen.Twitches. Went back to the dr: was offered propanolol but I refused it not wanting to take any more drugs. Got an MRI on my nerves as I thought I was developing MS but that wasn't the case. April 2018: I believe I developed depression which I had never had before; this lasted until January 2019. During this time I was having waves of feeling uncomfortably physically and also spells of emotional lability, movement issues and some others. Each day they would be less severe and less frequent though. During this time I pushed myself to keep busy a lot even though I could not feel positive about things as much. If I always did something like drawing or talking to a friend it would keep me distracted. I will not go into all the symptoms because there were sooo many. All of these things occurred in waves and windows pretty much like how a lot of you guys experience things. Slowly things got better and most have gone away 2019 I was back at uni but I had to take a year out as I am not as resilient physically anymore and get cognitive symptoms.If I do too much symptoms come back. Before I took sertraline I would not have considered the things I did as too much. My grades dropped as I kept having fatigue, difficulty completing actions, weird feeling skin and weird pains. I am hoping to go back to complete the year September 2020 but I feel it will be quite a struggle. April 2020 I feel as if my personality is back 100% which kind of seemed to happen overnight. I decided to join as I am still having issues mainly fatigue, weird feelings/pain in my skin and through my body, sometimes internal vibrations and tremors if I do too much (too much being walking to the shop and carrying shopping which I used to have no problem with, doing too much fitness), sometimes muscle stiffness and twitches, heavy feeling limbs, I seem to get worse with exercise, often delayed and I thought perhaps i'm developing chronic fatigue, my mum thinks I have signs of fibromyalgia but now I think it is still side effects from this drug. I still get cognitive issues sometimes which makes me worry I won't be able to go back to uni and also feelings of terror but thankfully they are much less frequent. Official diagnosis from the dr now is: movement disorder due to anxiety 😕 however my anxiety has basically gone now so I now know it is not only anxiety at all it is definitely physical. Thanks for reading I hope this helps someone
  10. Hey everyone, I’m 27 years old and have had a really hard time since having an adverse reaction to several drugs last year. I started 300 mg Wellbutrin SR in October 2016 and stopped in December 2016 since I was going home for winter break for grad school. I had some chest pain for that month, but other than that, I was fine and I resumed in January 2017. Still finding it incredibly hard to concentrate, I went home to my primary care doc and he prescribed me Adderall (forgot the dosage, but was relatively low). I took Adderall for about 9 days in March 2017 until I found it wasn’t working so I stopped until I could see my primary care doctor again. I went home again in April 2017 to see my doctor again and he then gave me Ritalin. I took Ritalin for about a week until I started having serious sucidal thoughts, so my doctor advised me to stop it. I was then drug-free for about 6 weeks until I took Wellbutrin again in June, but this time it was a different formulation (2 150 mg pills instead of 1 300 mg pill, and I believe it changed from SR to XL). I became really nervous being outside, which wasn’t uncommon for me since I hate the summer heat and the bugs that come with it. But it gave me such intense anxiety that I couldn’t even walk outside for most of the week and was sent into a panic when I had to go outside. The following week is when disaster struck. Previously my doctor had suggested to take both Adderall/Ritalin and Wellbutrin at the same time, since he didn’t want to change more than one variable at the same time. But my provider at school said it would be fine to just take the stimulants prescribed so I went with the school provider since he had been overseeing my psych med care anyways. The morning before I took all 3 meds together, I had the worst back/neck pain I’d ever had and attributed it to falling off my pillow. I later took Wellbutrin, Adderall, and Hydrochlorothiazide (for high blood pressure) together and a few hours later, my hands and feet became numb. Just thinking it was a temporary side-effect, I took the same drugs the next day, where the numbness and tingling got worse and after speaking with a pharmacist, decided to go the ER. At the ER, they didn’t think it was really anything serious and told me to just stop taking the medications and that the effects would stop in a few days. Except that they didn’t. Over the next 6-7 weeks, from mid-June to early August 2017, I had numbness, tingling, internal shakes, tremors, eye problems like floaters, and was so uncoordinated that I continued bumping into and dropping things. I had to go to the ER 3 more times within that same period, and each time the doctors didn’t do anything. At about 6 weeks, I started to clear up and eventually all my symptoms disappeared in time for school to start. But that would also be short-lived. During the first week of September, I got sick again, thinking it was a cold and was put on allergy medication, which I took for two days and all the symptoms from the summer returned, and I eventually got so sick that I had diarrhea and felt like I was going to faint, so I was placed on propranolol until I stopped CT in January. From September to October 2017, I had all the symptoms from before, plus sleeping issues, rashes, and soreness. I was so sick that I left school for this period of time and went home to see countless doctors, none of whom believed it was medication-related. At home, I developed hypnic jerks that woke me from my sleep as well. In October 2017, right before I returned to school, I started getting muscle twitching and burning, which has honestly been the most concerning symptom in this whole thing. The twitching persisted for about a month, then stopped in November. But then it came back again in mid-December 2017 and got progressively worse until the end of March 2018. When it started again in December, an ER doctor put me on Ativan for a few days and then I was put on Zoloft which I took for about a month until the end of January 2018. The twitching reached its peak and then stopped completely by the end of March 2018. It then came back in May 2018 but instead of having its more predictable pattern, it has been more severe some days and much less severe on other days. I’ve also started to get some of the symptoms I thought I was over back again, like the numbness when I wake up or the eye problems like seeing sparkles of light, eye floaters, and eye twitching. I’m just so worried about this twitching thing because it makes it so hard to sit down, meaning I won’t be able to continue pursuing my dreams. I also thought it’d be gone by now since I’ve had periods where this has completely disappeared. What can I do to treat this?
  11. Hi,could you help me please? I was on mirtazapine for 8 years. 15mg for 6,went into poop out and upped to 30 for 2. Withdrew from the 30 over 5 month.30-22.5 for month,22.5-15 for a month,15-7.5 for a month then off. No withdrawal at all. Then 2.5 year later woke up with an extremely stiff neck then anxiety came. Jumped back on 15mg hoping that would work,but felt like I was getting palpitations and had a bit of burning patches. Felt like I was gradually worsening so came off without tapering as I was only on for 3 week. Feeling gradually worse as no-one believes me and am expected to go back to work till time and look after my children and everything else. Partner thinks it's an anxiety episode,I'm so confused. Please don't tell me any bad news as I don't think I could bear it. My system is hypersensitive now.Been completely off for 1 week.
  12. Kree

    Kree:mirtazapine

    Hi.Is it always the case with an adverse reaction that you go into a protracted withdrawal? I thought i had an adverse reaction to cit 13years ago but went on mirtazapine and didn't happen.convinced myself it would. I was on mirtazapine for 8 years and successfully withdrew for a period of 2 and a half years. No withdrawal. Then had an anxiety episode out of nowhere. Jumped back on 15mg mirtazapine and started having burning and twitching strange muscle feelings. 3 month on and convinced again im going into protracted withdrawal. On amitriptyline for the past 2 weeks....just scared im gonna get worse with the protracted. The mental health team are in contact now and think im delusional i think.They say i need to be treated. Im so scared waiting for this protracted withdrawal. I have 2 kids, on my own,a house to run and a job to get back to.
  13. Taken citalopram last year on the 13 th of August 2019 20 mg then on the 24 th of August changed to 10 mg then stopped altogether on the 30 th of August 2019 only been on them for 17 days still having withdrawals symptoms, the worst is intrusive thoughts Can anyone help me please I'll be so grateful
  14. It started in December 2018. On 17th of December I took my first (and only pill) of lexapro 10 mg. I have never taken drugs (not even alcohol). I desperetely took an AD because I was depressed and suffered from extreme anxiety attacks, due to malnutrion, being out of work and the loss of what I felt was the love of my life. I wanted talk therapy but the waiting list was so long and I got desperate. 1 pill made me suffer terrible insomnia and crazy mania. I was so afraid because I couldn't feel any emotions and I started sweating like crazy. My doctor ignored my, and after a few days without sleep I ended up in the hospital where they drugged me with Olanzapine for my anxiety. I wook up feeling even more terrible. This time I had vision problems, metallic taste in my mouth, angry violent impulses rushing in combination with being like a zombie. I was numb in the left side of my body, had poor co-ordination and couldn't move the fingers in my left hand. I told doctors this, but they didn't listen. "You really need your meds" was the answer.After 4 days on olanzapine I quit CT. During this period my health anxiety and mania around it skyrocketed. I ordered a lot of supplements to heal my brain, went to the ER asking to get my brain was damaged from the stroke. The reason I believed it was a stroke was that when I googled my symptoms "intense headache like you never experienced before" , "numbness on one side of the body", so I thought my brain One of the supplements I ordered was Mucuna Pruriens, an indian medicine with L-dopa. And with the effects of the other drugs still in my system I reacted really badly. I got this extreme euphoria from nowhere and then I totally crashed. I ended up in hospital, after trying LLLT-therapy. No doctors believed my theory that the drugs had done this, and that I got an dopamine-overdose, and now a broken reward system. At first I at least had some energy in January. But after the hospital, where they gave me a cicordinol injection along with benzos, I completely disconnected from my self. There is no now anymore, and the damage/experience is so much worse than it was when it started with Lexapro (which was an enough traumatic experience). No one has listened and only now do my family believe me, when they got to witness live how i developed tardive dyskenisia from the injection at the hospital. My lean and healthy--looking face and body, is now pluffy/swollen. I have gained weight despite excellent dietary habits. I have never before been able to gain weight, no matter what I eat. My hospital stay was in February-April. The injection was against my will, my family and doctors aswell. The doctor said I'm not psychotic. The doctors on the otherhand gave me "delusional disorder" and other labels for simply criticizing modern medicine and how telling them how sick I became because of the drugs. One of the sleeping meds made me totally loose my vision and I got muscle spasm, but the nurse's didn't bother. After the injection my neck starting twitching and I couldn't hold it straight. I could not talk. I was drooling and couldn't open my jaw. I stood drooling in front of the whole medical staff team, and they ignored me and told me to go back to my room. The doctor didn't give me any meds after that, stating, "Well you are obviously sensitive to drugs". Well, that should have been plain, given the reason I was there in the first place. During this time I also suggested to be treated with Zoloft. I think it was for 2-3 weeks, can't really remember anything from this time really. Only didn't to escape more antipsychotic poisoning and because I felt my life was already over anyways. Been free of medicines since April. 1 pill Escitalopram (10mg) December. 4 pills olanzapine (10mg) December. Sleeping meds: imovane (december-march/april). Benzos: Mitrazepan 1-2 times. Theralen, 2 times. (Really damaged me) Cicodirnol injection (don't now the dose, but low dose). Reasoning for it was that I stopped showering at the hospital. Why? Well it was traumatic to see yourself naked and in front of a mirror, and not being able to feel the water on your body... I live at home. With wellfare (thanks Sweden, but your healthcare is like the medieval ages). Every day I'm slowly loosing touch with reality.I have friends and family. A yoga teacher supporting me to go to an Indian Ayruvedic hospital in June. But my health is detoriating. I can barely move my neck (that problem I didn't have before when the worst of the injection was behind me). I have no feelings whatsoever. Anhedonia. Nothing gives me pleasure. I am against porn, but tried it to see if I react, I did react at the hospital (not a normal reaction, but something happened), no nothing. Porn was an easy test due to dopamine and how powerful it is on our brains. But nothing happens. I have no higher concioussness. No feeling of the now or my-self. This was severely damaged by the drugs in the first place, but it is just getting worse. When it all started I had racing thoughts, flashbacks, anxiety etc. And even hope when I started to improve after quitting Olanzapine. But the Mucuna Pruriens sent me back to something that is not worthy a life at all. So body has shut down. Memory. IQ. Everything declining. I have a hard time writing and coordinating everything I do. I don't know if this post belongs here, but I most say it does. Everything started with Lexapro. Got worse with Olanzapine. And finally ended me with the dopamine overload and later on injection. My background: 26 year old from Sweden. Musician, graphic designer, have master's degree in Media Production, worked as a teacher, have been a top-performer but also really anxious and low sense of self, I have not valued my self at all despite everything external going great for me. Loving, caring and really emotional. Now I'm flat and liveless. My face has changed. Eyes are dead.No curiosity for life. Deaf in one ear after the meds. I can't read or listen to music, or watch films. That was possible in the beginning before my self medication. It feels lonely. Lonely to have had such a strong reaction, not being taken seriously which made the situation much worse than it should have been. I know some of you have been on theese drugs for years, I have not, but the damage has been imense. What has happened? Can this be turned around? I am lonely in this? I just want my life back. So I wanted to share this. I should have done that in December. Maybe then I could have been warned, tapering, avoiding interactions etc. Need your support. Hope everything makes sense. I can't remember what I have written and have no energy to proof-read. / Albin
  15. Hey all! New to this community. Just wanted to say I really appreciate the moderators and members of this site for providing me valuable information in the past and giving an often overlooked group of sufferers a place to heal and learn. Just a little bit about myself; I am a 19 year old freshman at Johns Hopkins University. The academic pressures at a school like mine are intense. I was someone who breezed through HS and never doubted my abilities as a student. I began suffering from panic disorder in October, related not to my studies, but from a feeling of hypochondria exacerbated by my unhealthy actions partying, drinking and smoking on the weekends. Eventually, after an initial panic attack, I found myself in a state of constant anxiety and brain fog that would result in near-daily panic attacks. I thought I was losing my mind. In time, I sought out a school psychiatrist, who prescribed me 10mg of Prozac (fluoxetine) at my request. Although what followed was unpleasant, I don’t regret this decision, because it showed me what Hell truly was, and removed me from my panic disorder. My body reacted very, very poorly to the medicine. The panic attacks got worse, my personality had dipped to a level of absolute nihilism, and I felt like a zombie walking in the first few days. Almost immediately I began feeling sleep disruptions that got worse every night until I could barely muster 1 hour of sleep a night. For some reason, I wasn’t tired though. The activating effects of the drug somehow made me not register feelings of sleepiness, or many emotions in fact. I’m sure the users of this forum are all too familiar with this feeling. During this time, I read DARE by Barry McDonagh, and the book spoke to me so well that I stopped fearing my panic. This was about 5 days into beginning the drug. By this time, finals had come about, and on my 19th birthday, I completely crashed. The lack of sleep had finally caught up to me, and I couldn’t stand feeling like a zombie every day. So, I stopped the drug cold turkey after about 2.5 weeks. Confident that I had beaten my anxiety, I stopped worrying about my somatic symptoms that had led me into the state of panic in the first place. I broke a lot of unhealthy thinking patterns and challenged the anxiety to attack me rather than cowering away from it. This helped me plenty. But in those first few days of getting off the drugs, I had taken my finals in a complete mental haze, and spent my winter break in a weird state of conciousness that I’ve only ever felt from the antidepressants. My sleep slowly got better, but sleep disruptions still bother me to this day. Around the 25-day mark (the time that Prozac is almost completely eliminated from the body), the withdrawal symptoms got worse. The insomnia returned and I began feeling the flu-like symptoms that were commonly described as withdrawal symptoms. Muscle aches, headaches, nausea, and weird somatic symptoms became very prevalent, but I knew that these were just withdrawal symptoms, and in time, these too would pass. I am now back at school for my second semester and I’m glad to say that I’m still more or less anxiety-free. But I am now about 1.5 months post-cold-turkey and I’m wondering when I may find complete relief from these symptoms. The insomnia has lessened its grip but the rest of the symptoms seem to come and go in waves; some days I don’t feel them at all while others, like today, I will have a raging headache and find it hard to focus on my schoolwork. Thank you for getting through that slog! Just searching for some encouragement or insight that I don’t quite have yet
  16. Mod. note: medication ID's added Maprotiline, sold under the brand name Ludiomil among others, is a tetracyclic antidepressant (TeCA) that is used in the treatment of depression.[4] It may alternatively be classified as a tricyclic antidepressant (TCA), specifically a secondary amine.[4] In terms of its chemistry and pharmacology, maprotiline is closely related to other secondary amine TCAs like nortriptyline and protriptyline, and has similar effects to them.[5][4] Escitalopram is reported as an ingredient of Losiram in some countries. (sources wikipedia, drugs.com) ________________________________________________________________________________________________ Hello I am 21M , I am studying software engineering. I live in Kurdistan region in Iraq. I have been anxious and overthinking about how long will it take for me to save money and buy a house or an apartment so I can marry and be independent ( we can't be independent here until we marry ). 4 months ago the anxiety was too intense that I could only sleep 3 hours daily. and I told my mother to give me a pill or anything that helps me sleep. she gave me ludiomil 10mg which she took it in the past and had success with it. the first night I took 1/4 which must be 2.5 mg and it didn't help me sleep. the second night I took the remaining 3/4 which means 7.5 mg and still wasn't help full. I took 10mg for for the next 3 nights and still wasn't helpful so I stopped taking it ( only took it for 5 days). then I knew something about me has changed. I had 0 libido. genital numbness. Emotional numbness. Anhedonia. lack of memory. lack of concentration. depersonalize. I am pretty sure the med caused all of them. I was like that for almost 1 month. then I went to psychiatrist and he put me on losiram 10mg, I took 1/2 which means 5mg for 3 days then stopped taking it because it made me shake all my body, I searched about the side effects, at that point knew what was antidepressants and what they do to brain, so I went to the psychiatrist and told him that the med has too many side effects, he said you can't trust internet but if you think you are that smart you can get out and fix yourself on the internet. I went home and didn't take the pill I got a therapy which I can click with. I had I don't know what happened but after I stopped the losiram I was anxious 24/7. I couldn't breath properly and thought about suicide everyday. crying 24/7. I was like that for almost 2 months. then my anxiety became better I cried less. my sleep became better and also my appetite. and wasn't crying 24/7 ( once or twice a week ). since 26th of December my libido improved no more genital numbness. I've had erection especially in the morning but don't have the drive. still kissing and hugging or cuddling is pointless for me. but I still have no emotions I am not taking anything and haven't for almost 3 months. and I really don't know what to do to get my emotions back. something makes me believe that I will never get my emotions back. has anyone had any emotional numbness recovery story ?
  17. crhawks-xanax-problem Hello All, My story is rather long, so please bear with me...I am in desperate need of help. I took only one pill of 50 mg Zoloft to deal with anxiety and mild postpartum depression 3 months ago, and I have had horrible effects ever since. Has anyone else experienced this? Is there light at the end of the tunnel? It seems like very similar symptoms to those I have read of withdrawal. But it seems strange to have withdrawal after only one pill. Maybe an adverse reaction? I am feeling very hopeless, I feel as though my life has changed forever, and that this will never go away. My story is below...I'll try to shorten as much as possible, although it is somewhat difficult... I have a history since my teens of mild/moderate anxiety and depression. Since dealing with some health problems (anxiety) and the birth of my son (postpartum depression), my conditions worsened. Back at the beginning of October, I went into the ER for pain for a back/side issue I have been having for 18 months. They gave me a pain killer which did not help, so I was given Haldol, which I was told was a different type of drug that had off-label use for pain. I ended up having a horrible dystonic reaction to the drug that made my jaw continually smash itself, teeth chipped, had severe crushing anxiety, etc. Went back to the ER and they put me on a drug that counter-acted the reaction. (Of course I have since learned this is a terrible, horrible anti-psychotic med and never should have been given to me). Fast forward three weeks, and I was feeling back to normal. My doc decided to put me on Zoloft to help with my anxiety from all the health issues and the reaction, and we thought it might also help with the mild depression. She prescribed me 50 mg pills to be taken once daily. I took ONE PILL and was going crazy within an hour or so. Severe anxiety and nervousness, nausea, diarrhea, warm rushes through my body, but yet shivering, confusion, depersonalization, mania. It was hell. I read online that supposedly some of these things were normal for a couple weeks, but I was having very severe reactions. I decided I could not ever take another pill. I was told that I could take my Xanax to help with these symptoms, so I did that, but it did not help much. The reactions continued. I went to my doctor a couple days later and she had no idea what was going on. She said it should have been out of my system. I ended up going to the ER. They also were not sure what was going on. We realized it could take up to a week with the half life to get out of my system. A psychiatrist who was on call prescribed me Klonopin at night, Propranalol, and Xanax during the day. It helped to get me through, but that reaction lasted about 2 weeks. Then I began to normalize for about 4-5 days. I started weaning off the other drugs. Then I got a cold. I took some cold medicine for a couple days, and was full blown into another "attack"...everything returned. The severe anxiety/nervousness, the nausea and inability to eat, frequent stools, warm rushes, shivering, depersonalization, cloudy thinking, confusion. I again ended up in the ER. They again blamed my anxiety. However, I have never experienced any anxiety like this in my entire life. This was not anxiety. My anxiety in the past consisted mostly of worry and nervousness, no other physical or mental affects. And I was always better within a couple hours. I went to the psychiatrist and he said the same thing, and even wanted me to try an SSRI medication. I refused. I again went back on the Propranalol, Klonopin at night, and Xanax at day. It got me by, somewhat, but still was hell. Was another couple weeks before I was feeling closer to normal, with a few shorter lived "attacks". During these times, I am unable to work, unable to care for my children, unable to do anything but basically roll up in a ball. The anxiety and nervousness can be absolutely unbearable, I am not even able to describe it. I was doing fairly well for about 3 weeks. I did notice during that time that ibuprofen and my narcotic pain killer for my back would spring up some of these same symptoms, which had never happened before. I stopped taking all meds, other than Xanax as needed, which was not often. Then I had horrific pain in my back and took half a pain pill (two weeks ago). I felt some returning of symptoms the next day. By two days after, I was a bit better, but severely depressed with frequent crying spells. I was also getting my period though, so was emotional. I have terrible cramps due to endometriosis, so I had to take ibuprofen. I did okay, although was depressed and lethargic for two days. That second day, I had terrible cramps and took two ibuprofen and a tylenol. The next morning I woke up in another full blown attack. Warm burning/tingly feeling in my hands and face, severe nervousness/anxiety, depersonalization, feeling of living in a cloud, not really feeling "with it", nausea, food making me ill, shivering...sometimes the feelings come on like a bomb...very suddenly and severely. The Xanax helps, but it is always still there on the surface, and the depersonalization and not feeling "with it" never goes away. It has been 10 days now since the latest episode, and is not getting any better. (3 months total since my last and only Zoloft). I take a minimal amount of Xanax just to get me by, and go as long as I can before taking it in the morning. Usually I can only go until Noon, and that is pushing it. I have tried to go without the Xanax, just in case that is attributing to the condition continuing (although it didn't before) and it is just not possible for me to be without it at this point. It is absolutely unbearable without it. So I am unsure if I am having a withdrawal to only 1 pill , or just an adverse reaction that is long-term. I am scared and do not have much hope, especially since the doctors do not seem to understand what is going on or what to do - other than to medicate me more, which I know will only make it worse. Has anyone experienced something similar? Does anyone know what might be going on with me? Is there an average timeline to eventual recovery - or could this be permanent? I am very scared and feeling like my life as I knew it is over. Thank you for your time.
  18. Hi guys! Im new here, im 30/f and its been 7 months since i ct from Lexapro (escitalopram.) And yes, I only took it for a month.. prior to that ive tried Setralin, Mirtazapin, Brintellix and Venlafaxin. Low doses. All in 18 months of a time, and I took each one for about a month since I had a pretty severe reaction to all of them and was always given something new to try from my doc. So, 7 months ago i started Lexapro, 5 mg. And an hour later my body felt like it was pushed forward when i sat still, when i walked it felt like someone dragging me backwards and my feet and legs were burning, not really dp or dr but and outer body feeling set in. After about 4 weeks my doc told me to upper the dose to 10 mg. I did. A few hours later walkin in the street i just collapsed, in cramps, my heart felt like it was on fire, a highwolt jolting thru my body.. and someone called an ambulance. I stabilized at the hospital, nothing really wrong. Got sent home. When i got home, i called my doc, shakin in fear.. and he told me to just quit it. Youll be okay. Dont take it anymore. Ah, yes.. so i didnt. First 2 months after ct - is all in a blurr, it was hell. No honeymoonphase here. I was insane, totally mad! Nothing worked. And felt like when someone looked at me they saw mr potatohead were nothing was were it should be. I would lie on my kitchenfloor just screaming in panic and anexiety, just feeing like i was slipping away, dying, my soul just left. From month 3 - I was able to leave my apartment a little longer than going foodshopping, without that haunting fear and ongoing panic. But still mostly on my floor feeling like a dead person. This is where the sweatin kicked in, totally covered in sweat all the time. From month 4 - The burning sensations stopped, the brain zaps stopped, the swaying feeling of being pushed and pulled also stopped, i begun to feel pretty good besides my sweat and mild flushes. Like i was back before the meds with my regular panic syndrome and anxiety, i was able to meet some friends, started a danceclass and going back to the gym. From month 5 - Back in hell. Everything went to sh*t, i got a severe case of candida and bv and was given fluconazol and itraconazol, and pretty severe reaction to those (and it didnt even help.. my doc wanna put me on antibiotic, ah hell no. Im to afraid.) And the burning started up again, but not in my legs or feet, but in my belly. Spreading each day to my whole torso, head, eyes, mouth, throat, ass and at last back to legs and then feet. So, the last 2 months since then ive been dealing with ZERO stresstolerance, even the tiniest little thing push me over the edge, shivers in my brain, pretty horrible DP on and off, dizzy spells, being stuck the flu and the burning.. i sometimes take epsom salt baths in relly hot water but sit there freezing and shivering.. (it really scares me when its burning in my throat btw, like breathing acid..), with icecolds spots on my arms, mucles feeling really weak and achy, and for the last week ive been having this pins and needle-feelings all over, like when your feet falls asleep and about to wake up? Thats my whole body! All the time! Warm things feels cold, cold things feel warm. Im flushing all the time. And also a new sympthom is this pain.. aching pain from my nerves, like ive been drinking vodka on empty stoach..(?) Everything hurts. And constant low fever and flu-sympthoms. White noise in my head. Im so tired! Get this buzzing feeling in my eyes of tiredness and "have to sleep now!" even do i slept 9 h and havent really done anything all day. Neuroemotions and panic attacks out of the blue here and there. Im mostly just lyin in beed feeling sick as f*ck and wonder if im gonna live another 5 minutes. Feel like an idiot when a friend wanna hook up and im "still in flu with fever.." And I cant eve describe how i feel during pms with all of this, its like having a psychosis for about 7 days.. 😕 My timeline doesnt match anything ive read on here, and I know were all different, but are there anyone who have felt like I do now? This wave is killing me, I dont think i cant handle it anymore, the only thing keeping me alive are all of you ..2 months of this, will it end?
  19. Could mct oil have been too activating for me? I’m not even sure if I had any but I know my mother inlaw cooks with it ALOT and we had dinner with her tonight. I started having diarrhea and my heart will not stop racing, I almost feel as I did in the beginning. Did I just ruin whatever recovery I’ve made this far?? I haven’t had any problems with insomnia but here I am at 2 in the morning. I hope I didn’t start something new ): I have two babies who are going to be wide awake first hung in the morning and idk how to deal with this
  20. Firstly, sorry for the lame photo and yes, that's a real photo of the functioning me (I look nothing like that now). Wondering if anyone has insight as my adverse reaction is kind of strange. Please read my signature for history as it's the important factor in this case. Been off Celexa for 8 months, was feeling somewhat okay, decided to go back on my last taper dose of 2.5 MG because I was having parathesia in my hands and feet for 3 months which made me nervous (remember, I have already been off completely for 8 months - I know I made a mistake). Did the 2.5 dose for 2 days, on the 3rd day I took 5 MG since I figured it was such a small dose. I went into a complete akithesia fit with intense fear, burning skin, muscle spasms, etc. went through it all night and the next day could not eat and still felt it somewhat effected. The 3rd day after the reaction, I was 100% back to normal as if nothing had happened. One whole week later after feeling normal, it hit me again. I kept switching off between normal and this intense state until I started to plateau at a medium level of the state almost regularly. I have lost a lot of weight as I have no appetite (even when I feel a little better). Now I feel like I have PTSD because I don't know when these fits will hit me or how intense they will be or how long they will last. This has been going on for the past month now. I am totally out of work as I can not function at all when it's happening. During Paxil withdrawal I was able to function (miserably) but this feels very different. A couple weeks in, I felt like I was starting to feel better then I got my monthly period and got hit with a big reaction once again, up all night crying and saying I wanted to be checked into an institution. The day after that, I decided I needed medication to help me to so I would try again to reinstate the Celexa. First day I took about 2MG (It was a little less than a quarter 10MG pill). Second day after next dose, I had a huge setback that evening so I stopped the pills again. Here is where it gets weird, two days after the fit following the medication, once again, I feel somewhat better and perhaps a little better than I have felt in weeks. I see a connection to here to my first reaction - horrible reaction, 2 days bad, next few days significantly better but not back to normal as the first time. Maybe my body liked the Celexa but it just couldn't handle the dose? My worry is that after this "honeymoon" period of a few days is over and the medication leaves my system I will be back to where I was a few weeks ago? Should I try taking tiny doses like .5 MG? Advice would be helpful as I have not seen anything like this on any of the forums.
  21. Hello guys! I have always been an extremely positive person with a wonderful outlook on life. However, I've had problems with social anxiety for about 3 years. My SA definitely wasn't severe, I would say it was mild to moderate, I would only experience it in certain situations. However, it would bring me down occasionally so I decided to seek help. My GP prescribed me with 50 mg of generic Sertraline. I took my first 50mg pill on September 1st, 2016 and felt just as usual except for hand trembling and quite lifted energy levels. I took another pills on September 2nd and this is when the hell started. I suddenly woke up at 6am in the morning feeling weird. After a few seconds I started experiencing my first ever panic attack. It was really intense and really severe. I could not breathe, eat, drink and I could not calm myself down no matter what. It took 2 hours for the panic attack to subside. I decided to not take any pills, thinking my panic attacks would stop. Oh, how wrong I was. I had another panic attack in the evening, which started at 10pm and continued till 4am. I had one Xanax pill so I took that one and my panic attack subsided just a little. Somehow I managed to fall asleep, but I woke up 2 hours later having a panic attack AGAIN. I went to the hospital, where they did some tests. My heart was totally fine so they just sent me home. I went back home, slept for another 2 hours and went to my friends house to relax a bit. I felt extremely anxious and experienced hot flushes 24/7. At 8pm I had a full on panic attack again, my friends called the ambulance as I was hysterically crying on the bed feeling like I was about to die or kill myself. I ended up in a psych ward, where I experienced panic attacks every morning and every night. No one believed me when I said I had never felt suicidal or experienced panic attacks before taking Sertraline and OF COURSE no one believed me. They actually insisted on me taking Sertraline again, which I refused as taking Sertraline in the first place was the biggest mistake of my life. Surprisingly, the panic attacks have suddenly ended on September 8th and I was stupid enough to think that was the end to my suffering. Hell no. Severe depressive episode had followed. The things Ive experienced to this date - depression, anxiety, DR, DP, paranoia, anger, irritability, crying spells, apettite loss hot flushes, extreme trembling, inner trembling, jitteriness, suicidal thoughts, self harm thoughts, migraine headaches, fatigue, dizziness, mental impairment, insomnia, vivid weird dreams, sensitivity to light and sound etc. I felt like I was going crazy. Taking any supplements would send my anxiety to the roof. Symptoms would rapidly come, go away and come back again. Depression and anxiety are still here. I get some mild episodes of DR and DP. My insomnia got better, but it is still here as well.I have almost committed myself to a mental hospital three times. The symptom I am most worried about is tinnitus. I do not even know if it is somehow related to this adverse reaction. I developed my tinnitus on November 1st, 2016. At first it was almost unnoticeable until I had a migraine headache on November 4th, which made my tinnitus 3 times worse. It is not severe, but I am quite mentally unstable at the moment and it really brings me down. I have not exposed myself to unusually loud music or anything. Tinnitus seems to be quite a common symptoms for those in a benzo withdrawal, but I have not really heard anything about antidepressants. Mine sounds more like a metallic hiss in my head and is usually quiet in the morning. All I want is for this pain to go away. I hate myself for taking those tablets as I was absolutely fine without them. I used to be so happy. Great relationship with my parents, tons of close friends, partying, travelling, career prospects. I had so many plans but my life seems to be ruined and I am only 20 years old. I will never forgive myself. Have a peaceful day.
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