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  1. Hi all. Below is a brief history of things. A lot has gone on. As a kid, around the age of 5 to 6 i was very contented. Age 7 onward there were difficulties. i had a bad accident, a severe head/neck injury, i don't know how that impacted things? i started getting nightmares/problems with sleep. i experienced with hindsight what i think was a psychotic episode around age 7 as well. Age 11 i first got drunk & smoked cannabis. By age 15 i was habitually drinking/drug taking. There had been increasing anxiety, depression & problems with sleep. When i left school i went to art college for 2 years & was very depressed. Shortly after leaving age 17/18 i experienced a very severe psychotic episode, was convinced that i'd lost my soul to the devil & saw a vision of the end of the World, was sectioned for 4 months in a locked ward & very heavily medicated. They diagnosed a drug induced psychosis. i left hospital, came off all the medication & went into full time work for some 4 years. i managed to stay away from the drink/drugs for a time but it crept back in again. Age 21 i went into another severe psychosis, got clean/sober for 6 months, & landed in a drug treatment center. i became very paranoid, believed that people wanted to kidnap, torture & kill me. i also became convinced i was the Devil & had a serious attempt at suicide. This lead to another stay in psychiatric hospital & being placed on prozac & stelazine. They diagnosed psychotic depression. i then went into sheltered accommodation for a few years, the drink/drug use increased again. i came off all the medication, did another college course & then went into full time work. Age 25 i had another severe psychosis, & smashed up the room i was staying in, was sectioned again & diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. i was placed on a 1200mg dose of Amisulpride. After a year of that dose i stopped it cold turkey, went very psychotic & was again sectioned. i refused all medication for a while & then agreed to a 200mg dose, after being threatened with a section 3 (forced treatment) & depot injections, if i didn't take anything. Age 26 to 28 i went back into the addiction, & age 28 again went into a severe psychosis - i was refused any help from psychiatric services & sought out help from NA/12 step. The first 3 years of sobriety were hell. i stopped the Amisulpride twice, the first time with a 3 month reduction & the last time with a 2 year tapered reduction. Each time i ended up in severe psychosis. That last withdrawal attempt off the medication was 12 years ago - i have maintained the 200mg dose of Amisulpride, & increased it to 300mg a few years ago. i have been in T-total recovery from the drink/drugs & clean/sober for 15 years. it very much feels that there are underlying psychological/emotional difficulties still. All things considered i do accept the schizophrenia diagnosis as being valid. i am interested in what other peoples thoughts are here on it all? How other people have done with coming off neuroleptics with a diagnosis of severe schizophrenia/multiple episodes of psychosis? ideally i'd love to be successfully free of this medication, just don't know how i can do it without severe illness. i have tried many things over the past 15 years connected with healing, but it still feels that things are unresolved. Thanks.
  2. Hi! I will keep this post pretty plain for now, as my WD symptoms (the pains, mainly) make it hard to even use a computer for long. I will also try to make a short "signature" version of my history later today. When I was signing up, I was asked to provide a history of my case. I'm gonna paste it below. So, here goes. ---------------------------------------- All of the following changes/switches were done in 1-2 weeks each (except where otherwise noted). I.e., very quickly (which is bad). - Started Amisulpride 600mg and Escitalopram 30mg in 2014 for OCD. - In 2017 Amisulpride dose became 500mg. A few months after that, I developed tardive dystonia (cervical). - In 2018 autumn switched from Amisulpride to Abilify (about 15mg), to combat the dystonia. Indeed the movements stopped, but I was very sleepy (was taking lots of baclofen too). So I moved back to Amisulpride 500mg. - In 2019 february made another attempt at switching to Abilify (22.5mg). It was successful. But since then, I gradually developed disabling joint pain. - In 2019 (around July) reduced Abilify to 15mg, and nothing much changed. - In 2019 September switched from Escitalopram to Paroxetine (40mg) to combat the joint pain. Got a slight improvement in joint pain. Since the first day of Paroxetine, I began having eye problems. - About 3-4 weeks later I reduced Paroxetine to 20mg and Abilify to 7.5mg. Nothing much changed. - About a week later, I reduced Paroxetine to 15mg and Abilify to 3.75mg. Finally the joint pain was almost gone. - Soon, the joint pain reappeared so I started taking 4x3.75mg Abilify and since then, my joint pain is quite minor. - About 3-4 weeks later I switched (Cold Turkey) back from Paroxetine to Escitalopram (7.5mg) to combat the eye problems. That did not help, and I started getting disabling muscle cramps (in quadriceps). Then I found the "paroxetine withdrawal support" FB group. - About 4 days later, I switched (Cold Turkey) back from Escitalopram to Paroxetine (15mg), because of the cramps and because of what I learned from the FB group. - That didn't reduce the cramps. So I increased Paroxetine back to 20mg, which did help somewhat. - 1-2 weeks later, we're at the present moment (24 Dec 2019). ---------------------------------------- I'll be happy to communicate with you guys in order to help one another in this journey! In Facebook I'm actually afraid to help other people, because Facebook is too addictive with the "likes" and "loves" etc. Especially for lonely people like me. I hope this forum will be different in this regard!
  3. Tomash

    Tomash

    My psychological issues started in high school - I experimented with halucinogens, for a higher knowledge. However, later on I started to participate in techno parties and this destroyed my sensitive psyche. First depression, then toxic psychosis. I was hospitalized 6 months, for schizophrenia, then addiction treatment and received several diagnosis since then. My self-esteem lowered quite a lot. From my childhood, I am a personality and anti-authoritarian, I did art and so on, which made psychiatrists always confused (literally, they often didnt know completely what to do with me). During hospitalization, I tried to stop smoking, doing sports and learning, I felt quite well soon. But later on I started to smoke, started to drink alkohol as proposed by my psychiatrist to go to parties to have social contacts. It was a very renowned doctor, however today patient himself. However, I started to study at college, though not realizing i am completely dump on antipsychotics, always not understanding where the hell my creativity and inteligence from high-school disappeared. Of course - the diagnosis was to be blamed. I ve been always interested in religion. in 2006, i tried to do yoga, and from 2007 i started to do daily. I really feel I was completely closed and dump in that time, didnt realize how diet, good company etc. are important as well. But in 2008 I started to do social work with autistic persons, which made mi stronger and forced me to start to travel, go to mountains, do sports etc. In 2010 I enrolled in a prestigious social work Master program. I didnt enjoy, but it definitely re-thought me how to use critical thinking and real scientific approach. In 2011 i did a research in India on ayurveda, social work and autism, which i accidentelly succesfully completed by skipping my doses for 7 days, when my brain started to work for a while. Going back home, I started to experiment with ayurveda myself. Soon, I lowered the dose from "therapeutic" doses to 5 Mg of Zyprexa and Wellbutrin 150. I started to have conflicts with my psychiatrist, my colleagues and my profession in general. By ayurvedic life-style, good job etc. I came to decision to withdraw in 2015. I had some knowledge of recovery movement, but I did a plan which was complete failure. I thought that ayurveda and yoga would help me, and only that. I underestimated the rebound and all these things. I did quite a bad panchakarma in India, which happens to a lot of westerners, but for me it was disaster. I started to meditate, do pranayama, on my own, which made me terribly ungrounded. In autumn 2015 i felt enthusiastic, I was completely off medication. I felt my inteligence, creativity, clarity came after 15 years. But, I stopped to sleep, and few days later i had visions or quazi-spiritual content, started to have depression, all rebound symptoms and finally some symptoms from my original toxic psychosis. I left my home and job, to protect clients and spouse and have less stress. In that time, I was without any contact with psychiatrists etc., didnt believe them anything. But in my state of mind I succumbed to suggestions of people around me that psychiatry changed. I couldnt, however, find any that "new psychiatrist" which was another sign of "not able to have a safe therapeutic relationship and therefore paranoid". Because I didnt have safe home, too, I was finally hospitalized in a very modern hospital in Prague. However, very soon, I realized that psychiatry hasnt "changed", rather, it is quite worse then i used to be. So I did everything to be realesd from the prison. I found a new flat, and started to meet my spouse again. I tried a psychotherapeutic program, which was "new", but same patterns again. Finally, my yoga teacher recommended me a private psychologist, and I am in that process now and it helps. I started to very cautiously do yoga again. I found a physical job - gardens and ecological agriculture. This makes me grounded and gives time to plan everything. I am going to do social work only part-time, to reduce stress. Last 3 years I worked with refugees, and you know what is happening now in Europe... I am preparing to have a house with a garden, to stay grounded during the next year. I am discovering a healing power of nature and physical work, which is well related to ayurveda philosophy. I know now that yoga is powerful tool, and in India usually corrupted. Its a tool, which can helps but also harm. I try to focus my attention to my body, which is grounding yoga technique, not to think much. I am not looking for "spiritual" fantastic experiences, rather for true and the Earth, and rebuilding my life. I also strive to find new supportive friends and I am partly succesfull. And I read this forum, because these information are gold, and no psychiatrist in present state of affairs will do this job for me, unfortunatelly.
  4. I've been on antipsychotics for nearly 20 years after I had a psychotic breakdown whilst I was taking an antedepressant and experiencing several major life stressors. I've tried to withdraw numerous times but have always become psychotic very quickly. My memory has been affected, I now have diabetes and my weight soared as I put on 10 stone. I'm here because several people recommended this site. I currently take 300mg amisulpride plus medication for diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
  5. I will try to resume my whole psychiatric story. I started taking Risperdal for the first time when I was 18, they prescribed it to me without any clear diagnose. I was socially isolated and I didn´t know why, that´s the reason I went to the psychiatrist, I think at that time I didn´t have depression (maybe I was just "a bit sad") but Risperdal induced it to me, it was a terrible experience with suicidal thoughts included. I took it only for three months and then left it, without tapering. Then my doctor decided I had obsessive-compulsive disorder and she put me on Seroxat, I took it for a year in which my depressive episode was healed. The circumstances lead me to suddenly stop taking it, I had an unpleasant withdrawal, this time I didn´t have any psychical symtoms but apparently depression came back. I stayed seven months with this depression until I decided to start medicating myself again. I went to another doctor, after analysing me I was diagnosed "negative symtoms" of schizophrenia because of my problems to socialize and I was medicated for that. I was prescribed another neuroleptic, Solian 200 (amisulpride) which is not aproved in the USA, but it is here in Europe. At this time I was 20 years old, I took Solian for six months and I felt better again, my depression was over (but I didn´t feel euphoric or something). Then, I made the worst decission of my life: I changed doctor again. This doctor wasn´t very kind and I remember he used to boast about the things he knew and sometimes he made me feel I was stupid. He, with his knowledge, decided to take my medication off without tapering, I had a terrible withdrawal which I am still on. Just after leaving it I had a lot of physical symtoms such as: stomachache, dizziness and insomnia, my question is how much do they usually last? I had them for two months, is this normal? I will try to make more questions in another post.
  6. Hi! My story, feel free to skip it, it's long - as a child I had allergy problems, was a frequent user of various antihistamine drugs, as well as corticosteroids. At 12 I had a psychotic outbreak, coupled with severe depression, outbursts of crying, apathy, I was briefly hospitalised after a suicide attempt, diagnosed with schizophrenia and put on risperidone. During the next 3 years I was put on other antipsychotics, as the risperidone wasn't making any difference, at 14 years old I was put on olanzapine, also around that time the psychosis passed and things began looking up. I was home-schooled at that time. At 15 I tried quitting cold turkey, I was told by my doctor - and that is the only doctor out of the many I've dealt with that acknowledged such thing as withdrawal existed, that is if I understood her correctly - that I had to withdraw it during the course of several months or else I could seriously harm myself. She actually didn't necessarily have to mean that, since later on I was told by other doctors that the tapering is recommended only so that the doctor can observe the patient and prevent a potential relapse (they also recommended weeks, not months long taper). So at 15 all hell broke lose, sadly since I didn't have any information to act on then, despite the whole thing seeming slightly fishy, I assumed it was the illness returning. I experienced low body temperature, psychosis, anxiety, depression, tiredness and muscle weakness. At 17 I attempted the second cold turkey withdrawal, mostly because I'd switched to Abilify and it gave me an unmanageable stomachache. That withdrawal put me out of school for a year, also I experienced severe psychosis + the other symptoms, and sinusitis. After that withdrawal I was put on amisulpride and shortly afterwards zoloft, which was my mother's suggestion, to offset the depression she assumed was caused by the drug. Things stabilised after that, I moved to London from my native country, and managed to enroll on a course. And then I tried withdrawing again, because things seemed so good. Around that time also I stumbled on a Guardian article by Joanna Montcrieff about the possibility of drug withdrawal mimicking illness. But the thought of withdrawing a drug for a year or longer seemed really outlandish, I just took a month. The third withdrawal hit me real hard, this time it was amisulpride + zoloft, I was really half conscious at that time, an extremely lethal state, I had to go back home and quit my course, I also got in debt, because higher education isn't free in the UK. So, feeling a bit desperate I decided to give the year long withdrawal a go. Because amilsulpride throughout the time I took it, was causing massive akathisia (my doctor persuaded me to stay on it because it was in his opinion so motivating), I switched to olanzapine again. I actually initially tried taking amisulpride, but the leg restlessness made me unable to sleep or do anything else for that matter, it was even worse than before. I know people suggest tapering by 10% of the previous dose, but tapering for 7 years would have driven me insane, so I just did 10% of the original dose every 2 weeks. And it worked, after 10 months my motivation, intelligence, great deal of pleasure and consciousness returned, no psychosis, just lots of nausea and some anxiety when tapering, a bit of a psychotic state somewhere along the way, but it passed quickly. Also the gastrointestinal symptoms went away, they'd been bothering me ever since that hospitalisation, and the doctors kept telling me it was most likely the leaky gut syndrome. Looking back, it was also really funny when a renown psychiatrist in this country told me about there being two groups of people suffering from schizophrenia (or taking antipsychotics), one helplessly ill, whom drugs can only calm down and who need to be constantly hospitalised and locked away, and the other drug, who thrive on these medicines, but can't live without them. I'm also fairly sure that one of those anti-allergy drugs caused the first state to begin with, it was really too similar to the later withdrawals (also scientists openly admit now to the possibility of corticosteroids causing psychosis). So now, about a year later, I'm through withdrawing the zoloft, but it has been way more painful than withdrawing olanzapine, extremely painful. No psychosis during that withdrawal, but massive allergy attacks, muscle pain, low body temperature, weakness, nausea, one anxiety attack. And towards the very end I had horrible insomnia, very little sleep for a few consecutive days, and I just had to do the silliest thing, that is, still thinking about drugs the way I'd thought before, I took 80 milligrams of hydroxyzine without checking what receptors it affected (just thought about it as a sleeping pill). It did help the insomnia, also relieved a lot of the pain, but here I am, a week after stopping the drug, and I'm getting a really bad case of deregulated histamine system. So, my questions is, has anyone here experienced a rather brutal SSRI withdrawal like this one, possibly also taking such a large dose of hydrox (which affects two of the same receptors SRRIs affect), and if and when did the post-withdrawal symptoms pass. I'm getting really bad low body temperature, fluctuating between 36.0 and 36.4, bouts of sleepiness and really unpleasant joint/muscle pain. I know histamine controls body temperature, sleep, cognition and pain sensitivity and so I've just been worried the one, but large dose of hydroxyzine has messed this up. It's been almost a week and it is probably too early to tell whether this will pass, but I can't help but worry about it. The withdrawal is still definitely better than the last time, in a month, and much worse than withdrawing the AP (when I got some intense anxiety states towards the end, but neither anything this intense during most of the time spent withdrawing or afterwards). It could be either caused by the shorter half-life of Zoloft, or the fact that it is the second and last drug and their functioning overlaps (they affect some of the same receptors, for instance they are both histamine and adrenaline agonists). Thanks in advance.
  7. hello, so about 5 years ago i was taking bath salts(stupid, i know), a lot of bath salts, and i developed a symptom like bulging eyes which destroyed my life this symptom lasted for one month but already i developed an obsession with how my eyes looked to other people which is still present in my life so i got depressed and isolated still obsessing over my eyes so what to do next? with my mother persisting in going to get help i ended in a psychiatric hospital, after 5 minutes of describing the symptoms and telling the cause (bath salts) to the psy I've got my identity and the sentence, I've got BDD, body dysmorphic disorder and the sentence was 2 zoloft in the morning 1 solian(antipsychotic) in the evening we all know whats coming next, after months on this treatment I've got worse, another diagnose, bi-polar - 2 zoloft + 3 norset + 1 abylyfy + 1 solian and an extra 4 serestra and that went for 5 years which comes with psychotic episodes, attempted suicides, forced psy hospitals stays, violent behavior, unable to form thoughts and without emotions, drug use, drinking and in the process i lost my soul and after only two years I've started hearing voices, pretty scary, but i was afraid talking with my psy because of another diagnose which all know that they say is for life, schizophrenia. And after all the suffering caused by this treatment they wanted to give me more powerful dosages I'm not going in to the details, i don't want to remember, it's hard not trusting your doctor, thinking is the devil, which he is imo. It's pretty hard for me to get off this drugs because I'm being forced in to the treatment and watched every day, there are nurses which came every day to give me the meds because of my attempted suicides, so they give me a glass of water and watch me if i swallow the meds , pretty scary, i know. The doctor it's convinced that i need the treatment all my life because of my behavior. So how i came off without anyone knowing? One night (of many) without sleep i went on YouTube watching movies reviews and by divine luck I've come across a video about big pharma an psychiatric drugs which changed everything and going deep into the subject i discovered the truth, which at the time seemed fantastic and scary. I mean you think all the time that your doctor wants to help you and has years of studying this thing in school and there is the ''science'' to back all this, come on! it's a doctor, a psychiatrist, he must know things, no? and suddenly you see the other face of the coin and here comes the rage. It's hard for me to tamper because i don't have the drugs, they give me the drugs, so my only option it's going cold turkey, made them think that i swallowed the drugs, hiding them in my hand. So now I'm two weeks in cold turkey, trying to stay ''normal'' for family and doctors not to give away that you are in withdrawal, it's pretty hard. I'm going trough hell here and it's been only two weeks. I've been searching for information all this time, when I'm not in severe depression. I've found 5-htp which I'm on for 3 days now and it's good, placebo? i will take everything which will help me I've found meditation which make sense for me, but to try to concentrate on your breath for 5 minutes right now seems pretty hard, reading books on the subject helps me, I'm gonna do everything that i can to stay off the meds even if i need to die in the process.
  8. I wanted to know of someone who has left amisulpride, or is in the process of leaving, I'm at 400 mg, try decreasing 50 mg but could not sleep, I will try with 12 mg, I scare me to return psychosis. Excuse the English but I speak is Spanish.
  9. Hi folks. I'm called Sally, 59 years old, from the UK. I've been taking 200mg every night of Amisulpride since 2008. I am desperate to come off this drug, for many reasons, but find it impossible due to the rebound depression I always experience. I'd be very grateful to hear of anyone who has also had problems with this drug and of anyone who has successfully been able to stop it, and how. Thank you, Sally
  10. i am from the neighbouring county to you whitelily and i want to come off from 300mg amisulpride per day and 40mg prozac per day as they make me obese.
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