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  1. Hi everyone, I'm new to this site and i am so grateful that it exists. I have been on 50mg of Luvox for 4 years after falling into a depression after a serious health condition. I have completely recovered from that. I have been very well recently and decided that it was time to free myself from Luvox. I am also on 17.5mg of amitriptaline which was prescribed for pain which i no longer have but i plan to taper off that after the Luvox. I made my first cut 7 days ago of 1% and good god its been awful. The symptoms i have had so far are: - brain fog - no motivation - feeling like my body is melting - feeling of shooting energy from my heart all the way down my arms - fatigue - sadness -apathy -irrittation - anxiety - nausea I am shocked that from such a small cut that i could feel this terrible. I must admit though that i am incredibly sensitive to medication. Id be happy to hear your thoughts, comments and advice on my taper. I dont plan to make another cut until i have stabilised from this last cut. I know this is going to be a very slow process for me. Thanks!
  2. Hi i am new here so let me introduce myself and give you the history of why i have become member. I originally got tinnitus about 18 months ago from noise. I was a sound engineer when younger so my past had caught me up. I went and had all tests and was told nothing could be done. I started to get headaches and siatic pain down left side which seem to come on at same time thetinntus did. The doctors prescrided me 20mg of amitriptyline to be taken at night to help prevent migraines and help with sleep. I took it for about 11months but for last couple months i started feeling anxious, paranoid and suicidal in waves. I attended to A&E department who said that only way to tell if the symptoms were side effects of drug was to come off them and that i would have see GP. I went see the GP who didn' t believe the drugs were causing issues and that i had aggitated depression and needed to take different anti-depressent and stop the amitriptyline. I wasnt feeling well and did what GP had said and stoped the amitriptyline with no taper and started citrolpam. I took citrolpam for 4 days but just felt out of it so i stopped it. I didn't sleep for 14 days and had massive waves of syptoms. Went back doctors and he said i was ill like he had said and looked anxious. Tryed get him understand it was withdrawl syptoms. Doctor told me i needed to go back on amitriptyline but 50mg this time. I questioned the dose increase but as i wasn't feeling mentally or physically well i got tablets. I reinstated back onto the amitriptyline but only took 25mg for first week. The withdrawl symtems were still there but slowing a little. Decided to take the 50mg as doctor said as i really didnt know what i was doing by then. Made feel even worse than i was feeling. Friends told me to go back to GP but get second opinon from different doctor. Changed doctor and explained i was in withdrawl and i wanted to come off amitriptyline due side effects. She listened but still really didn't want say it was in withdrawl altho see did agree if i felt i wasnt depressed i should drop back to the 25mg as only been on 50mg for few days. I have had to take 9 weeks off work and am taking 25mg amitriptyline hoping i will stabilise to some kinda human being. At first i was having the windows and waves were as last few weeks i feel like the windows are getting smaller and waves bigger. I saw the mental health team who again avoided the whole withdrawl thing and tryed blame me. I advised her i want get off the drugs and after reading many forums realise i need to do a very slow taper as i am super sensative. I come here as many do in hope of some feeling like i will be able to come off the amitriptyline at some point and regain the person that i feel i have lost.
  3. Hello all! I have been reading a lot on this website. I am a 43 year old woman from the Netherlands. Because of face ache after a rootcanal at the dentist that caused extreme pains for over a year they gave me lyrica and amitriptyline. 450 mg lyrica and 50 mg amitriptyline was built up within a year. Because of many bad side effects I had to taper my meds. In 2017, 29 th july I tapered 25 mg lyrica. Everything was fine. My dose was at that time 100 mg lyrica and 25 mg amitriptyline. When I tapered my last 25 mg tablet in september 2017 everything went wrong! I got extreme muscle pains in my arms and legs and sometimes just all over! My pain specialist said that I just had to wait and be patient and that the pains would disappear. So I waited. My pains improved a tiny bit. But not much. 9 th february 2018 I felt so dizzy. I was dizzy for weeks. When I forgot a 25 mg pil of lyrica the dizzyness went away. I jumpt to the conclusion that the dizzyness came from the lyrica. So I decided to taper from 100 mg lyrica to 75 mg lyrica at that day. (Now I doubt if it was from the lyrica, maybe the dizzyness was withdrawal from the amitriptyline.) From then it became even worse. I have musclepain and nerverpain everywhere especially in my arms and legs. Sometimes I am burning all over or just in my torso. I cry a lot. I can hardly function and suffer a lot of pain every day. 6 weeks ago I spoke to my pain specialist. She wanted me to wait for improvements and did not like to updose. But the daily pain is still horrible. Some other symptoms have improved: Insomnia (from hardly any sleep to a few bad nights a week) Tinitus (only very mild every now and then) being irritated (gone) fear (only very mild every now and then) tingling (only mild every now and then) electric feeling in my head (gone) Now I doubt what to do. Should I wait (mayby a few years) and hope everything settles down? Or do a small reinstatement on the lyrica? Maybe a small reinstatement on the amitriptyline? (I doubt that because I am allready totally off the med since 22 september 2017) I cannot make up my mind and don't know what the best option would be. So I hope you can give me some advice.
  4. Hello everyone, This is my ever first time writing in a forum , I decided to reach out because I am feeling a bit lost.... Excuse if my english is not at it's best as I'm not a native english speaker. I have tried to make my signature, which became far too long and I had to delete so many things that it felt to me that there were too many things missing, but as I am new to "this", I am hoping someone might help me. First things first I am going to write down all my history with anxiety and panic attacks, at least all I can remember, as I'm very forgetful lately. 2005- cypralex due to panic attacks and GAD (can’t remember dosage) gained 46 kgs 2006- August quit cypralex cold turkey no symptoms that I can remember 2007- January started exercising and diet to lose weight by December i had lost all 46 kgs 2011- Panic attacks and anxiety emerged after break up of a relationship that broke my heart. Psychiatrist put me on Paroxetine 40mg trazodone 50mg bromazepam 3mg x2 day hated trazodone and the way it gave me vivid nightmares so I’ve quit it after a while always with doctor supervision 2012- September quit my job, had gain almost 20 kgs, was super depressed still but no panic attacks nor anxiety. 2013- Moved back in with my ex , in march I started the tapering of paroxetine, extremely slowly, and by December 31 I was done. 2014- June massive relapse, anxiety, panic attacks, was living abroad and flew back home to see my psychiatrist, started Prozac 40mg because I had put on so much weight that was unable to lose, worse choice ever, prozac made me have even more panic attacks during my sleep..... Bromazepam 3mg and trazodone 50mg 2014 September 2nd - Another huge panic attack during my sleep, took me to the ER, where the psychiatrist there put me on xanax xr 0.5 3 times day October 28 2014 - Tried to reduce the xanax from 1,5 mg xr a day to 1 mg a day t but i got extremely sick nausea shaking and dizzy my doctor switched me to diazepam 20 mg a day, and also I gave up on Prozac and went back to paroxetine November 2014 - Had terrible shaking nausea headaches, I suspected it was from the xanax switching 2015 - Had 1 panic attack in June but was stable and still on paroxetine 2016 January - I decided that it was time for me to start reducing (tapering) the paroxetineI had moved to another country living happily but the weight that I had gained i could never get rid of, I went from 64kgs in 2011 to 100kgs. September 24 th - Found out I was pregnant and still tapering the paroxetine 2016 December - By the end of December I was done with the tapering and was done 1 year reducing. 2017 - Was totally fine 2018 - Totally fine 2019 June - Panic attack during my sleep, caught off guard, tought I was free from it... 2019 July - Anxiety rising so much I could not leave the house, could not enter any store, or supermarket I would start feeling like I was going to have a panic attack 2019 July 25th - Decided not to fly back to my homecountry to my psychiatrist and went to a psychiatrist here. Prescribed me amitriptyline 10 mgat night, plus gabapentin 100 mg 3 times day and xanax xr 0,5 2 times a day and xanax 0,25 IR in s.o.s 2019 August - I felt a bit less edgy, calmer but still couldn't leave the house alone nor enter supermarkets. I could walk outside IF I wasn't alone but I never felt safe alone and was always afraid of leaving the house. Gained weight 2019 October 2nd - Went to the doctor and the previous psychiatrist had been moved to another district. The new pychiatrist prescribed me Paroxetine 20mg, Lyrica 75 mg 2 times per day and diazepam 6 mg a day. Since end of July gained 6 kgs After my last appointment with the new psychiatrist , I start taking the meds on the 3rd of October, but I did nottake the 6 mg of valium he prescribed because I simply knew that it was too low of a dosage and I would have to keep on with the xanax at least a month til I feel that I was stable enough with the paroxetine to switch to a higher dose of diazepam. But when I mentioned to the doctor the 1mg of xanax xr i was taking a day switching me to 6mg of diazepam wasn't very smart not would it be helpful, he said replied to me saying that the lyrica would amplify the effect of diazepam... I was so upset.... truth is and on that very same day after taking Lyrica 75 mg, I start to feel itchy. I tought it was ok, and on the second day I was still itchy, so I decided to call the doctor to ask him and he told me that it couldn't be related nor an allergic reaction. I knew it wasn't the paroxetine because I had taken paxil before, and I knew it wasn't the xanax as well, so it could only be the lyrica. When I asked my doctor why was he putting me on lyrica his answer was that he could not just stop me the gabapentin, so he said he would switch me to a lower amount, and then reduce more and stop. The thing is, I am itchy every single day all the time, I have to use creams for eczema/atopic skin, and I am drinking 2 liters of water per day, no coffee, no alcohol, nothing with caffeine....... I feel like reducing the lyrica in half, from 150mg a day to 75mg, since I am taking it for not even 4 weeks, but I am afraid of how could it affect me. And about the Xanax, I am still taking the 0.5 xr twice a day but I want to switch to liquid diazepam which I have so I can reduce it and manage dosages better. I am taking the xanax since 25th of July, it's a good while, can any of you advise me? I have read the ashton manual, but I am still afraid. What about the lyrica making me itchy like a dog with fleas? Any help would be so appreciated.
  5. So here I am, I've gotten some good information from the site before but mostly remained a lurker, right now I think I need a little bit of support from people that truly understand what I've been through While this journey starts in 2007 I have to clarify that it wasn't my first time dealing with ADs. Much younger, in 2001 I was hooked up on Zyprexa for what I feel was an irresponsible reaction to something that required another set of actions (heavy bullying, and I'll leave it at that). That experience made me very weary of the effects of antidepressants and how fast medical personnel relies on them. Thankfully I got off them (mostly) fine So let's fast forward to 2007 I was getting very preoccupied by a girl thing during that period and had no one to talk to. I decided, sure, why not? and went to a psychologist. I got to say it was a very pleasant experience and overall it helped a lot But then this happened. I've always had trouble with insomnia since I was a kid. Out of nowhere I had a whole night episode of insomnia. It was like something popped in my head and the feeling of sleepiness was removed. I had never pulled an all-nighter before. It coincided with a trip to the psychologist He over-panicked and took me to the psychiatrist office, saying that wasn't normal and he prescribed me two meds: Amitriptyline, 25mg and Perphenazine 10mg. I really wish to know what would have happened if I had, you know, just tried to sleep normally that night again In short, those pills felt like magic, they were like sleep on a pill, for someone with sleep issues all his life it was very tempting to continue using them. Sure, they made me sleepy in the morning, but nothing a cup of coffee couldn't solve A couple of years later I had to change doctors again, the new doctor prescribed me with bipolar II and added 500mg of valproic acid, sometimes more. I have no idea how he reached that conclusion since valproic acid felt like a placebo to me Over the years the side effects started to get more noticeable, specially after my doctor made a mistake and gave me 4mg pills of perphenazie instead of 10mg. I pointed this out but he told me it was "impossible" to put me on 10mg again since I would get more sedated. To him, my insomnia was caused by bipolarity and everything working was the perphenazine and valproic acid. For some reason he claimed that amitriptyline was only making me drowzy in the morning. He tried to remove it completely and playing with varying degrees of the other drugs. But I was already working by that time, my job requires me to have a good mental performance. So I never tried any of his variations or new drugs for more than 2 days of zero sleep The last two years The side effects ended up being unbearable. Before that I had bad days sprinkled here and there, from now one I graded the days by how bad they were. I had depersonalization, lost the train of thought, got extremely dizzy, physically and mentally tired all the time, this made my job unbearable. On top of that I started to develop serious bladder and gastrointestinal problems, both urologists and gastros I visited not only agreed that the drugs were the culprit, they pushed me to start questioning what was going on. My doctors (and really all doctors after that) are very prone to minimize side effects or downright deny them and give the most useless advice (change your coffees for something stronger like a redbull) With this doctor I tried to quit the meds completely with what was a fairly "normal" taper of a quarter of a pill every two weeks. Side effects continued and insomnia got worst until I lost the ability to sleep when I went off them completely. Lasted 4 days until I got back to them (job responsibilities couldn't wait). He told me to not take the valproic acid becausee "maybe it's not bipolarity". His las try was using midazolam but it didn't work November last year Reached a breaking point and quit my job, there was no way I was going to be able to fix this and work at the same time. My plan was to do a slow taper and see how it went. Sadly, I ended up listening to some family members that took me to "two of the best doctors in the region". From november to february I took, in really short periods of time: quetiapine, mirtazapine, pregabaline, estazolam, agomelatine, levomepromazine, trazodone, sulpiride. They either didn't work at all or gave me way worst side effects The last doctor was particularly bad, not only did he denied I had insomnia and returned to "everything is just bipolarity" but he also gave me diazepam, it didn't made me sleep and he only gave me amitriptyline again until I begged him I need to start sleeping again. I told him I didn't want diazepam, I knew the risks, I had reacted terribly to benzos before, but he insisted in exchange of the amitriptyline, and told me it was "a soft med, I give it to old people". Anyway, after a month he took me cold turkey off the diazepam and for 2 months I had the worst withdrawal symptoms I felt in my life. He insisted it was all in my head. I had to convince my family to take me to another shrink I personally researched who obviously said I was suffering from benzo withdrawal and in his opinion "nothing in my medical history sounds like bipolarity" He gave me the same meds (amitriptyline and perphenazine) and have been "stable" the last two months. "Stable" means feeling exactly how I was feeling in November with the exception that the gastro issued haven't returned at full intensity again So, next week, I restart work again, maybe it was a bad decision, but I haven't worked in 9 months, bills don't pay themselves and don't see an end in sight. I see my doctor in August, I want him to agree to a 10% a month taper. He laughed about it saying it is "too conservative" and was petrified when I told him about dissolving the pills on liquid. I read about the scale method and plan to order one and hope he will agree to it On top of that, I'm going to a CBT-i doctor. I have tried it before and can say it helps greatly with sleep, sadly, it does nothing for the side effects. I can say without a doubt my only problem is insomnia. The last few months, the short periods I've been off zero meds I have felt great, I can think again, my body feels right. Sadly, I can't sleep and it starts to take a toll around the 4th day. My record in January was a 9 day period of zero or close to zero sleep time, I expected that the brain would just shut down if I force it, but it didn't So, any help would be appreciated, specially in the side effect department. I need to function normally in my job again. I've read about taking modafinil, huperzine or other cholinergic agonist to see if they might counteract the amitriptyline symptoms
  6. Hi All , I need your help ! I was on low dose of Amitriptyline ( 10 mg ) from Sept 29 th to Nov 9th , approx for 1 month. Was given this for low grade vascular headache Now I am 2 months off the drug , but still have issues. Approx 2 weeks post stopping the drug i started having severe tinnitus in both ears and still have it now , light sensitivity , brain fog , difficulty in concentration I had anxiety which I feel has been reduced since beginning of January. I got my tests done for MRI and all health tests everything came out clean , visual tests and macula degeneration tests also done Opthamologist message : Amitriptyline is neuro and ototoxic : your body will wean it eventually , he said it will take a month and I was actually getting better but BAM ! Jan 3rd week I was down in dumps again November Post stopping the drug : No Changes , just little bit of fogginess , headache Dec 1st week to 2nd Week : Muscle pain /drowsiness dec 3rd week to Dec 4 th week ( worst ) : i had grainy vision ( visual snow ) only on walls may be and then night vision was pathetic , brain zaps I was miserable was in dumps . Jan 1st week to 2nd week : On Jan 2nd when I work up my anxiety was gone ( its been better ) and getting better and my grainy vision I felt had subsided , I continued to move on ahead with the tinnitus and less snow Jan 3rd week to now : Suddenly I felt my vision dimness has got better ( I could feel this ) , the places i thought was previously dim was bright , and along with this the snow also became more , for example I an see sparse dots in day light and also when I look at my computer screen , and the walls have gone bad, not sure why this happened, shoulder pain , eye fatigue , dizziness , like when I close my eyes I see patterns and circle , when I m in REM braiz zaps after images ( both negative and positive)[ the symptoms I faced in Jan was not faced before in my life ] All the above symptoms Never had them in months of Oct, Nov Tinnitus : More Muscle Pain More Due to which : I'm nervous and anxious Issues I have now : Tinnitus more on left now , previously more on right , afterimages , vision snow ( bothers me the most ) and I know its not more than many of ul here , lil bit anxiety due to all this issues Disclaimer : I didn't know amitriptyline was an antidepressants until the 7th day of me taking it , I forgot to check it up online . Never done drugs in past , not smoked , no alcohol , I was a independent girl doing things on my own but now I'm so dependant on my family for everything I hope I get over this , I'm only 29 never had issues like this .
  7. About 5 years ago I took a lot of antibiotics for what turned out to be a jaw infection. This resulted in continuing gut problems, (gastritis, esophagitis) and also a condition called burning mouth syndrome. During this time repeated use of acid-reducing drugs (PPI's) started giving me side effects, particularly insomnia and anxiety, and I wound up being given psych drugs (all at low doses) as well. During 2017 I got better, with mixed results on weaning: - February 2017: My first attempt to go from .25 mg daily clonazepam to .125 mg clonazepam resulted in almost immediate withdrawal symptoms, such as insomnia, anxiety, extreme nausea. I went back up to the original dose and the symptoms quickly disappeared - September 2017: Stopped taking 10 mg. Celexa cold turkey, with no withdrawal issues. - October 2017 through December 2017; under the direction of a psychiatrist, reduced from .25 mg to .125 mg with minimal side effects, using alternating doses according to a schedule developed by Cara Tannenbaum. Very minimal nausea, worked quite well. December 2017: Happened to skip a dose of amitriptyline and realized how refreshed and energetic I felt the next day. Decided to take it every other day for two weeks, then stop. Felt great - my dry mouth (a side effect of the drug) disappeared, and so did my burning mouth! I was over the moon. Then at about week three I started having stomach pain, and was waking up with acid in my throat; I was even burping up acid. I had a vitreous detachment in my right eye. There were two solid days where my body shook and I had constant diarrhea. I felt manic. PPI's helped with the acid, but again I developed insomnia and anxiety, and more stomach pain. The psychiatrist suggested Benadryl, which did not help much. It seemed like everything I tried caused stomach distress. I had to resume taking 10 mg. of the amitriptyline , and also eventually went back up to .25 clonazepam to help with anxiety. These are the only drugs I currently take. Since then I have not regained my health. I lost 20 lbs. those first couple of months, and am considered anorexic. I eat six small meals a day, trying to gain weight but without success. During an endoscopy in May 2018 my GI doc at the time suspected gastroparesis, since he did not observe any stomach peristalsis during the procedure. Since I was already following eating guidelines for gastroparesis, I decided not to be tested since I would probably not want to take any drugs for it. With resumption of the amitriptyline, dry, burning mouth came back in a much more severe form - it flares all the time. Could I have become hypersensitive to this drug? I now routinely have swelling in my throat, mouth, and belly. I have also been recently diagnosed with SIBO - small intestine bacterial overgrowth, and IBS. A nutritionist I am now seeing suspects I may have histamine intolerance, which the amitriptyline probably makes worse. I have a very accurate (to 0.1 mg) analytical scale and can shave the amitriptyline pills down. In March 2019 I went down from 10 to 9 mg., and had manageable nausea. I held at 9 mg for six weeks. When I went down to 8 mg. the nausea and and mouth pain were intense - but this particular time I alternated between 9 and 8 for a week, which I didn't do with the first taper. Maybe that was a mistake. At this point, the doctors look at me like I am totally out of my mind - how can such small doses have such big effects? I feel the amitriptyline is hurting my body, and making my gut dysfunctional (it slows motility, for example, which is bad for both gastroparesis and SIBO). So I need to get off of it, but this last taper scared the heck out of me. Words of advice and/or encouragement are appreciated! Thanks in advance ...
  8. Hi I’m new here, and have had a very rough time unfortunately involving prescription drugs. I had my baby last year and was at a very happy time in my life already have two little ones , husband and renovating forever home , I have had anxiety in the past over health and miscarriage but always got over it and have never used meds so always felt great and happy with a few bumps along the way as I’m sure we all do. After 8 days of being out of hospital with my baby I started to feel unwell achey , flu like and I went to doctors who gave me antibiotics for mastitis I took two that day and the next day I woke up my heel was completely numb I shot up out of bed and panicked as I’d had an epidural during birth and stupidly googled worse case and spiralled into panic ended up back on post natal treated for a womb infection on intravenous antibiotics which explained the fluey feelings my feet felt strange and I felt really weak when home again, my foot started burning and throbbing and hurt after walking on it for so long. Went to doctors again and they said it was a side effect from the rip and will go. I couldn’t get my head around it and panicked, regretting it thinking it wouldn’t go or get worse. I burst in to tears when the health visitor came over and she suggested I go to the doctors and start antidepressants, even though I wasn’t depressed just had awful anxiety about it. After refusing she came again the following week and I still was in a panic so she booked me an appointment which I didn’t attend as I knew there was nothing they could do at this point I just needed to ride it out but unfortunately the doctor rang and said it was a sign of postnatal depression and wrote me a script of Celexa. I had so much worry over my feet o was struggling to function and started thinking maybe they were right and my hormones were making it worse( I know this wasn’t the case and it’s just me as I always panic but calm down eventually) I stupidly started it as I wanted to feel well and they kept saying I would miss out on my baby etc etc so I kind of did it for everyone else really. After 3 days I noticed I was having pins and needles in my feet and legs and arms getting hot flashes and my anxiety was through the roof even worse and while watching tv I had a panic attack and was sweating so I went to bed and stopped taking them. The symptoms carried on for the next two days but seem to calm down abit and my foot still throbbed so I got really upset and my mum took me to the doctors and now my symptoms were worse. I asked her if the celexa could have caused the pins and needles and she said no and I would be feeling any side effects from the tablets two days later she said it was my anxiety. She prescribed me gabipenten and said it would help my foot and stop me worrying basically. I resisted taking it but my foot throbbed and ibuprofen wasn’t working I couldn’t stop worry and my mum said to try them to see if it helped so I did and after the first pill I got a lightning bolt sensations through my head I lasted a week on them and had the following side effects muscle spasms in thighs crawling sensation tingles through limbs muscle pain all over body when I stopped the side effects persisted again after a couple of days at this point I started thinking I must have a terrible disease or something! I went to the doctors about it and said I now had pain all around my body and he said I’m going to give you something to help it and prescribed me celexa I couldn’t understand why and he said it was to help the postpartum depression which was causing my symptoms. I felt totally helpless at this point and stupidly took them again as didn’t know what else it could be, that’s when it all went so badly wrong after about five days I started feeling extremely paranoid, anxiety through the roof scared of even feeling water drops on my skin the air on me etc and my arms and hands started burning out of control to the point I had to run them under cold water. I spent the next day unable to get out of bed had panic attacks and didn’t want to live. My husband took me to the doctor who contacted mental health team and prescribed me Lycra for the burning as it was like patches around my body I took it and the burning did subside some but I suddenly got muscle pain again and weakness in my one leg which the doctors said was sciatica I could bearly walk on my one leg and suddenly got back pain too so after one week my doctor said just stop taking it and the muscle pain and leg weakness went completely but the burning skin came back it was like patches all over it would last a few seconds and go somewhere else on my body. The sad thing is by this point my feet were completely better and no longer throbbed but I had all these other issues it was just terrifying I didn’t know what was happening to me. I went back to the doctor and asked if it could be the medication and they said h they couldn’t see how no I’ve stopped it and it was most likely all anxiety. I was about to go on holiday which was all booked and desperately wanted to feel well for my children she suggested mirtazapeine and diazepam I thought I’ve got to try it as my anxiety is out of control even though I’ve never experienced anxiety like this before in my life! After I week I had to stop again side effects were ice cube/metal sensations on skin feelinging things on skin that aren’t there water drops my baby’s milk etc extreme anxiety electric feelings in limbs sore skin like sunburn prickling sensations on skin constant hunger after stopping I stayed off over a week and thought it must be the medication me and my husband were at a total loss by now I was convinced I had ms. I didn’t feel too bad after a week still some of the sensations my mum suggested I take cbd oil from Holland and Barrera for my anxiety so I tried it a few drops throughout the day I started getting the prickling sensations on my skin that afternoon not sure if it was the cbd or the meds still I went to the cinema with my children and friend and my arms and hands started burning out of control again I was having such an panic attack. I started getting muscle twitching too in my limbs and a sunburnt feeling in arms and hands. The next day I had my first appointment with the mental health team the physiatrist diagnosed me with ptsd from the birth and postnatal depression ad said that all feelings were part of this illness I couldn’t understand how this was happening to me , I was so happy before this all happened and I’ve never suffered postnatal depression before. She prescribed me 30mg cymbalta and 25mg quiteapeine A’s by this point I Dudley was having night anxiety too. I said I didn’t want to take any more medication but she explained how people recover from this illness so much quicker if taking medication to help and they couldn’t offer me therapy until I was taking it. I went home feeling helpless and took it and decided to do what they said as I was at a total loss I also reseated postnatal depression and read lots of ways they helped women to recover. I got the following side effects intense burning patches all over body hot sparks landing on me mainly at night feelibg of ice being injected into my limbs feelings of hot liquid being spilled on my legs visual hallucinations and at this point I attempted an overdose and ended up in hospital. I was told to carry on with medication and this was all part of my illness 😢 i ladtedtgree and half weeks and told my physiatrist I was stopping and did I need to taper as I was at 60 mg of cymbalta she said no and just stop and we will discuss a plan in the new year. I decided to taper with the meds I had left and then stopped I was Med free for three weeks over Xmas and felt ok I had flu symptoms for a week sickness and the intense burning patches were getting less till practically stopping. I though I was getting better but it all came back full force I suddenly stared getting night mares mainly about my children and could feel heat all over my body like burning but only at night it was like being tourchard in my sleep like night terrors. I also would wake up with shooting full pain in my fingertips and struggle to open my hand same in my leg and feet , my legs felt like rubber to walk on after two weeks of this I was back panicking at the doctors asking could this be from the medication I was pleading to be admitted into hospital thinking I had phycosis of some sort from my illness. She ordered a big batch of blood tests and referred me for a mri and well as prescribed me amitriptalyn 10mg she say it was a tiny dose just to hel the night terrors. I took 10mg that night and woke up the next day having slept fine and all the pain and stiffness and rubber legs had gone! I couldn’t understand what was going on I carried on taking it for two days and then had an appointment with my physiatrist she said it was a smartie dose and not helping mummy illness and to start 50mg of the quietipeine for the night terrors prescribed zolof. She said they couldn’t help me until I started stocking with the medication and to push through the side effects as they will go. I went home and took the quietiapene but started getting burning like heat flitting around my body again so I stopped it and went back to the amitriptalyn to help sleep instead and didn’t start zolof and waited for mri. My mri came back clear and my neurologist suggested acupuncture and suggested not much else. I was on the amitriptalyn 10mg for 4 weeks while all this went on side effects were Stinging sensations sunburn sensations icey hot sensations random prickling sensations i asked the doctor if I should taper he said as 10 mg is so low no as they don’t do a lower dose. After stopping I had electcal zaps around body, stinging on skin or in muscles , sunburn feelings , major anxiety , hot sweats , agitation when driving or trying to watch tv , not being able to rest at all. I have been med free for almost 11 weeks and a lot of my symptoms have got less severe but I still live in constant fear of them coming back, I am also now suffering exstreme depression. 11 weeks out ongoing symptoms are icey hot sensations normally lasted two-3 days coming on in the later part of the day mostly. electrical feeling on skin and dull pains around body normally lasting 2 days together , maybe two days a week completely symptom free. I am so upset about what is happening to Me and worry it will be permanent damage of some sort. Looking back I still can’t process how this is happened and feel so much guilt. I would never have done this being in my right mind I feel so angry that no one was listening and keep telling me I was ill. After being on your site for a month I realise to was probably the drugs causing my illness 😢😢😢 thank you in advance if you have the time to listen
  9. I suffered a breakdown a year ago and was suffering from severe panic and anxiety. I was put on 100mg Sertraline for 9 weeks which didn't work. C/T from that. After 6 weeks of Sertraline, Quitiapine 50mg was added which helped me sleep but not much more. C/T after 5 weeks. Never really understood the importance to taper. After 4 weeks off medication back in hole so back to dr and put on Mertrazapine 15mg, seemed to work at first then stopped and after 5 weeks ended up in hospital with akathisia - taken off C/T. Then put on 2mg Lorazepam a day to deal with the akathisia. Kept on for 6 weeks then started a taper over 12 weeks which i thought was long enough but ended up in a really bad way. Reinstated 1mg Lorazepam and placed on Amitriptyline 75mg. Amitriptyline helped me sleep but after 12 weeks has not helped the anxiety and depression. I ended up in a bad way again and went to a new psychiatrist. I know that I have anxiety and depression that existed before I was put on any medication but none of the medications have helped so far. I was not educated on what a benzo can do or that antidepressants should be tapered. I was not on anything that long! I have now read a lot on line including benzo tapering sites and realise everything needs to be done slowly. My new psychiatrist has gradually put me on 10mg escitroplam - I started at 1mg and have been working up slowly over the last 3 weeks. I have slowly tapered down my lorazepam to 0.2mg per day. I am also still on 75mg amitriptyline. My psychiatrist has told me to keep these both stable until I have been on Escitroplam for a few weeks at 10mg. It is so difficult to do as i am desperate to reduce both but understand one thing at a time. I am happy to be on the escitroplam and see if It does give me some relief but want off the other 2. I will listen to my doctor but would also like to hear feedback from others as to whether I should come off the benzo first - I am so low. Or hold that while i come off the amitriptyline slowly. Also how fast can I come off the amitriptyline given that i am on a new antidepressant and have only been on it 12 weeks. So many questions. Thanks
  10. Hi - My 10 yo daughter had acute stomach pain for several months (4/13 start). The GI put her on 25mg Elavil daily (7/29). She took it for 2+ months, but ultimately, it was surgery (9/23) that relieved the pain - they found and clipped an adhesion that was pinning her colon to her abdomen, and removed a normal looking appendix. The doctors won't speculate on which or what caused the pain to start or stop, however. She stopped Elavil 5 days before surgery (9/17) and had a very hard weekend, I didn't realize there would be a withdrawal effect, but her heart was racing (initial EKG was bradycardic and by the end, she was at the very high end of normal) and we were a bit panicked about the drug, and knew surgery was a few days away. As noted, surgery was successful, and she spent a couple easy weeks healing from the laparoscopy. All was great until 10/17: four weeks after stopping Elavil she got some acid and nausea. It is now 12/6 and she has constant heartburn and reflux. She has trouble sleeping, she's nauseous when hungry, refluxing after she eats. GI wants to... try another SSRI! Is it possible she is suffering form something related to the Elavil? Has anyone seen something like this? Many thanks!
  11. Moderator note: link to benzo thread - Marsx: Am I not taking into account a clonazepam withdrawal? Hello I'm a 28 year old female with a history of anxiety and depression which is mainly caused by severe insomnia persistent since childhood. My insomnia was always my first condition which caused the others. I've been on numerous antidepressants since age 18 being a guinea pig for many psychiatrists over the years. I always felt like crap on antidepressants as I told the doctors I wasn't depressed, just i had severe insomnia. Anyways, for the past 4 years I have been on amitriptyline which was God sent for my insomnia. In hindsight it was just the antihistamines drowsy effect that was helping me. I was on a very high dose of 150mg. Reason is because b4 the amitriptyline I was on Seroquel and again the antihistamine effect and drowsiness put me to sleep and changed my life. But Seroquel was pooping out very fast. I would increase weekly until I was taking 500mg. Finally switched to amitriptyline 150mg and produced the same effect. Was stable on amitriptyline for 4 years until it completely pooped out in helping me sleep. At this point I was tired of all the drugs. I had severe constipation from amitriptyline that caused a bowel obstruction and hospitalization several times and I was sick of it.i was sick of my doctors who were unhelpful. I was sick of my psychiatrists. Everyone sucked. So I completely cold turkeyed off 150mg of amitriptyline. That was 14 months ago to this date. I have been in a living nightmare of suicidal depression along with a host of physical symptoms and brain feeling like it'll explode. Fatigue has been so bad I quit my really good job. I obviously didn't know anything about tapering and thought I was doing the right thing. I hate myself for it. I only got through it telling myself it's just withdrawal and give it one more day. I've been saying one more day for the past year or so and realizing it's not just one more day. Things never got better. I have never been as suicidally depressed as I've been in this past year. My insomnia has not improved in 14 months. I get maybe a max of 5 hours of sleep a week. My hair has fallen out from stress and I'm bald in certain spots. The fatigue has been so bad lately that my body feels it weighs 1000 lbs. I hate my family so I have no support. I finally read about PAWS and realizing how bad my life is and probably won't get better. So I decided to reinstate at 14 months because I simply have no choice. I just can't do it anymore. I can't. I know I can't and I know my only other option besides reinstating and it's not good. So I reinstated at 5mg and I am getting severe tremors. I remember now even trying to reinstate at 4 months in and getting tremors but feeling like the reinstatement helped. The same thing happens when I try Seroquel. In fact when I try a drowsy antihistamine the same thing happens. These tremors are seriously noticible in my face and hands. But otherwise I think the reinstatement helps right away. My entire body is twitching but it almost feels like I'd rather have this then the hell of withdrawal. On a side note I've been doing a lot of research on amitriptyline. I found literature saying it has the same chemical properties as the old antipsychotics which caused people tardive akthesia, taken long enough. It makes sense as all these drugs have a seditative antihistamine in them. I believe it's all connected. I've tried reinstating with Seroquel and the same tremors are appearing but Seroquel also seems to be too much for my system to handle. Ive lost my job. I look like in 50 years old, and just remembering over a year ago I actually still had a joy for life before going off the amitriptyline. QUESTION: checked myself into a psychiatric hospital and obviously they don't recognize paws as a real thing so they suggest ECT therapy for my depression. I'm wondering if anyone has tried ECT for PAWS??? I've never had depression quite like this and it's 100 withdrawal. The physical symptom of brain exploding/burning which I don't know how to explain seems to be the most severe along with being completely bed ridden. I'm willing to do ECT if it helps.
  12. I have been on citalopram since 2009 then it stopped working. The Dr put me on citalopram and mirtazapine combination which worked for a while then that stopped working. The Dr then put me on mirtazapine and Venlafaxine 150mg XL combination which workes for a while again ans then stopped working. The Dr put me on amitriptyline 50mg saying thay would be the best drug for me while i took 8 months to slowly remove each bead from Venlafaxine capsule to come off it. As soon as I took my last beed i went into crazy angry depression. The dr increased my dosage of amitriptyline from 50mg to 150mg but the side effects were horrible and at this point i got sick of these meds and decided to quit CT. I had horrible withdrawal symptoms and i started acting like a child and not being able to walk, had balance problems. I reinstated back to 50mg amitriptyline since april 2018 and i have been getting worse. I cannot sleep. My vision is so badly affected that i have grainy vision and floaters have increased dramatically . I see after images and it's as if the lights have been turned off. When i begin to fall asleep, i start to have dreams before i actually fall asleep and my brain keep. Waking up just before i am about to sleep. I cannot follow conversations, I mishear things all the time. I am totally dependant on others and i feel people think i have gone crazy. I don't know what to do i am getting worse and worse. I often trip, lose my balance. I hardly have any short term memory and cannot do simplest of things. I cannot even watch anything on TV as i cannot follow.it I'm having major concentration problems. I don't know how. I'm writing this. I cannot work or drive. Please you have no idea how i am putting these sentences together. I need urgent help. Please advice. I have no energy, no appetite. If I'm posting this in the wrong place, please accept my appology as I can hardly read and understand things. P
  13. Hello everyone, I'm in desperate need of some help and advice. I have been on Amitriptyline for 3 and half years at a dosage of 100mg, this helped me to sleep because of anxiety. Exactly 4 weeks ago I went to see my GP as my anxiety has been increasing. They suggested trying Mirtazapine. So for the first week my Amitriptyline was dropped from 100mg to 50mg, them for the second week it was dropped from 50mg to ZERO. Then I went straight onto 30mg of Mirtazapine. During all this I have had the worst time ever, I have not slept during these 4 weeks, complete insomnia! and flu like symptoms! And my body feels like it's been hit by a bus. I have lost faith in my GP surgery as I get different information from each doctor and they dont seem to care at all, they never explain things clearly enough and had I known all this I would never have taken the medication in the first place. Can anyone offer any help or advice, I'm desperate?! Will the insomnia get better? I'm at the point of stopping the mirtazine and just going back to 100mg of Amitriptyline. 😕
  14. WuGang

    WuGang: hello all

    Hello, I am new to this website. A little about me; I suffer anxiety, panic attacks and was diagnosed depression. Many years ago, when I was around 14-15 years old, I was placed on antidepressants (Seroxat). I was later put on Fluoxetine and Amitriptyline for close to 20 years, I'm now 33. This year I made the decision I didn't want to keep taking these drugs and arranged with my doctor to slowly stop them, one at a time of course. It took a couple of months in total with his instructions. It's now been around 2 months off the Fluoxetine and a month off the Amitriptyline. I have been struggling with the side effects since. On and off sleeping difficulties, wild mood swings, constantly angry and easy to temper, and a really bad temper! Depression. But also, problems with my mind, brain fog, difficulty concentrating. It's really hard to explain, I feel dumber since stopping the meds, I know my mind, know how it works and I can tell it just isn't right. I don't recognize my own mind anymore. I struggle to enjoy anything that I used to, struggle to understand or concentrate on the things I used to like. And to be honest, it's been scaring me, I've been really tempted to go back on the drugs just so that I can be me again. Still struggle with anxiety and panic attacks. Anyway, that's a little about my story.
  15. Hi everyone, In March 2018 I started taking antidepressant pills. I when to visit a urologist because I had a pulsing feeling in my bladder, and years before I had continuous urine infection problems, he thought this pulsing feeling was due to the nerves and he prescribed me amitriptyline 10 mg. In no more than a few weeks I started feeling side effects, nausea, a tremendous thirst and dryness of the skin of my face that started to peel around my chin, I noticed the dryness in my throat and inside my nose, it dried the mucosa and soon after I started breathing very badly, it was like I couldn't heat the air or something. A month later and because my General Practitioner though that all those symptoms were because I was anxious, he recommended me to go to see a psychologist, but previous to that I was referred to a psychiatrist who prescribed me Cipralex 5mg than then increased to 10mg. I told him I was taking the other medication amitriptyline 10mg and also told him that I was a poor metabolizer because I had done a DNA test and I was having already some side effects from the amitriptyline. He told me I can discontinue that drug and use just Cipralex, I thought, well , I should contact the other doctor who prescribed me the other medication first, but he insisted, that if I want I can stop using, so I did, but there was a time I was taking both at the same time ( He said it was ok too ), and I started feeling very bad ( insomnia, electric shocks in my arms, numbing in my hands at night...etc ) so I stopped the amitriptyline at that time and some a weeks later I stopped Cipralex too, but then the withdrawal symptoms came and everything got worse. During the summer, June, July, and August I was feeling terrible I had terrible nightmares, I one day I had a hallucination!! , numbing and electric shocks in my arms and hands when I was sleeping... Today I still have the dryness in throat and nose and I can't breath well, It get worse at night, I've noticed that it's less intensive but I don't know how long it will take to go away completely. I wanted to know more so I did a mitochondrial test ( private service ) to know what was going on, There was a fluorenyl compound found possibly from Cipralex. I show the test to my General Practitioner he told me that that was fake and he doesn't believe it, and told me I have to stop this situation. It was here when I understood that I was gonna be alone on this and nobody in the NHS would believe me.
  16. I've successfully tapered off other medications in the past, but am really struggling with this one. I was on 25 mg Amitriptyline since 2015. Last year, I tried tapering off and ended up back on, but gratefully, only at 12.5. I was originally put on this to help with IBS-C pain and found it helped my migraines as well. I'm 64 and am seeing cognitive issues and complete constipation, both of which are well-documented as side effects and why seniors should not be on this drug. So I really want to see how I do off it. Last week, I went down to 10 mg (I have those pills as well). But I'm really feeling withdrawal effects. The problem is that I'm not sure Amitriptyline HCL is stable in water. Here's what I read: http://www.pharminfotech.co.nz/manual/Formulation/mixtures/amitriptyline.html Indeed, as the article states, the liquid was really bitter and had a weird localized effect when I tried to taper this way last year. And I can't cut the pills down to make small enough doses because the pill is already tiny. The best I can do is cut the 10 mg into four (2.5 mg), but from what I'm reading, that is too big of a jump. My doctor is useless about these things. He says the drug can't cause these problems because of the low dose and that I can just stop taking it at this point because the dose is so low I won't have withdrawal. I'd appreciate any suggestions on what I can do to taper under these circumstances. Thanks, Susan
  17. Mea

    Mea

    Hi guys, Just wanted to introduce myself. After 21 years of being on several types of anti-depressant medications I am determined to completely stop (see history in signature). I am taking 150mg of Effexor at the moment and managed to stop taking it for 8 months last year but the experience was extremely traumatic. I spent about 4-5 months tapering off and then was completely off Effexor for 8 months. Unfortunately I went back on Effexor after the 8 month mark as I was worried about suicide and could literally not function or work or get out of bed. I have never experienced any type of severe depression until this point in my life (2015 when I attempted to go off medication). I didn’t understand what was happening until I found this - https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mad-in-america/201106/now-antidepressant-induced-chronic-depression-has-name-tardive-dysphoria I would be super interested to know of any individuals or moderators on here who have some knowledge or experience in tardive dysphoria/oppositional tolerance. I am hoping there may be someone out there with theories/solutions on how to go off an anti-depressant like Effexor with some sort of support instead of just going off and suffering for years and years until one day you hopefully might start to feel better? I would like to believe that that the neuroplasticity of my brain will definitely get me there eventually but I am really scared after my last experience and not sure how long I could tough it out. At the moment I am looking into st johns wart, saffron, lamictal and transcranial magnetic stimulation. I find Dr Kelly Brogan's work quite fascinating as well although I have already done everything I can nutritionally. She did her fellowship at NYU Medical Center after graduating from Cornell University Medical College, and has a B.S. from MIT in Systems Neuroscience and has some pretty fascinating things to say about antidepressants worsening the long-term course of depression, anti-depressants actually working via being an anti-inflammatory as well as the treatment of depression through nutrition. She has recently released a book but main stream media outlets have basically blacklisted her, likely because of their primary sponsorship by pharmaceutical companies. My aim is to try and go off of Effexor again but I want to have a better strategy in place this time and some sort of back-up plan so I don't panic and go back to Effexor. Last time was pretty traumatizing. Any suggestions, ideas etc are very very welcome!
  18. I took 10 mg of amitriptiline three times.aftet experienxing side effects I stopped the drug. After a month I am still experiencing muscle twitches and tingling. The doctors think I am crazy and the drug is not the cause. They have proscribed steroids but I am scared to take them thinking these effects might worsen. Help!
  19. Hi everybody, I thought I'd introduce myself, and let you know that I'm going to be starting a weekly withdrawal log to map my progress, support others and hopefully receive support. Below, I've included a few points, and I'll be adding different things as I go on. For now, I wanted to keep it simple and get the ball rolling. Who am I? I'm currently taking 35mg of Amitriptyline for sleep, and as of today (01/01/18), I am starting a very slow taper off the medication. I have taken Amitriptyline since May 2016. Why am I doing this? I've had two withdrawal attempts prior to this, and in my last attempt, I stumbled across this website and realised that it was going to be something of a pilgrimage rather than a quick affair. I've also been interested in writing since I was a kid, and I've recently started up a creative writing practice again and thought that it would be great if I could start capturing my withdrawal journey because it'll hopefully be useful to somebody else in future and also provide me with context and a wider understanding when things start to get tough. My medication history / explaining the situation? I'll try to keep this as short as possible, so I'll use dot points: I have an OCD personality, I enjoy feeling good and things being perfect. I obsessed about sleep a lot. I moved out of home, couldn't control as many variables around sleep and started to get really frustrated when I didn't feel well rested. Cycles of frustration continued for 6 months, before I stopped being able to sleep altogether. This resolved, and was replaced by a 2 - 3am panic attack, being completely unable to fall back asleep. The 2 - 3am rising continued for 4 months, before I started waking 2 hours after falling asleep and being unable to fall back asleep. Tried everything, nothing worked and in my defeat, tried Amitriptyline 30mg. This worked, however the somatic and psychological impacts of the nightly panic attacks and sense of being "broken forever" remained. Withdrawal # 1 I had been taking the medication for about a month, and I was worried about weight gain and felt like a failure for taking it. I was also obsessed with "proving to myself that I could sleep without it now" because I had previously thought I was broken forever. I tried to taper off quickly, using a variety of other sleeping aids to mask the taper. In October 2016, when I had tapered down to about 5 - 10mg, I had a huge panic attack and reinstated, ending the withdrawal attempt. Withdrawal # 2 This withdrawal started in March 2017, when I tried to taper down much more slowly (but not slow enough). I fully came off in October 2017, however due to having family commitments and still working with a high level of anxiety in evenings, I reached my capacity and ended the withdrawal attempt. I reinstated to 35mg because I was so anxious and uncomfortable that I felt like I couldn't relax unless I took a larger dose. What I'd like to achieve? So now that I've had two withdrawal attempts, I realise that the challenge is going to be a combination: The physical and psychological fear of being permanently broken, and unable to sleep again without medication. The physical and psychological fear of feeling tired and how that triggers me. The obsession to feel in control re: sleep, and the fear of relaxing into a sense of flowing with life. The chemical experience of withdrawal. I believe that the process of withdrawing is going to be therapeutic in that it'll trigger each of my fears, and allow me to soothe them directly and rewire my nervous system over the withdrawal period. Hopefully, once I'm fully withdrawn, I would've also cleared out and rewired the triggers around sleeping. Eventually, I would like to be in a position where I am able to relax into the knowing that sometimes I'll sleep well, sometimes I'll sleep badly, and not reject one experience and try to cling to another. What will my taper look like? It's going to be a slow taper, going from 35 -> 32.5 -> 30 etc, in increments of 2.5 per month. I'm aware that I have a limited capacity to approach challenge with composure, so if I need to hold or reinstate, I'm completely comfortable with doing so because this'll be more like a marathon than a sprint and ensuring that I maintain a healthy capacity is going to be key for this. The goal is to feel comfortable at each reduced dose, and spend enough time at each increment that I feel completely confident that I could sleep with this amount. I need to do this, because when I have withdrawn at a quicker rate, I realised that I wasn't certain I could sleep on any of those increments and when I reinstated, I had to go back to the beginning to feel comfortable again. Please note that I'll be sharing more stuff, like the supplements I take, practices I use - for now, I just wanted to keep it simple
  20. Hello everyone, I first got started on Celexa in May 09 after my mind slipped into an inescapable panic state induced by an accidental overdose of the anti-histamine diphenhydramine. I should of know way back then, after a few weeks, then I should of stayed away from all drugs and given my brain a chance to calm down and repair itself on it’s own, but I was truly, truely frightened that I had down some serious damage or I was on my way to the depths of psychosis. So I went to my GP got diagnosed with anxiety disorder. I switched to Cymabalta in November 09 after a personal event triggered an intensification of agitated depression which had never really left despite treatment with Celexa. Sticking with Cymbalta was, again, an irrevocably stupid decision - but I had faith in the psychiatrist who was prescribing me these things. Suicidal ideation was commonplace both in an experiential context and in circumstantial context – my anxiety was so severe I just wanted out and I was astounded to what life had been reduced to. On cymbalta I felt tired but wired with a generalised irritability and massive cravings for sugar, which when I gave in and ate only triggered an intensification of irritability. I look back during this period and I’m struck with just how bizarre and Kafkaesque the whole experience was. Why the hell didn’t I get of the ******* thing earlier? I weaned off Cymbalta in in June 2010. However, the suicidal panic now morphed into a suicidal malaise and all-consumng tiredness, severe anhedonia, and an inability to concentrate - which has stuck with me since. I got put on Zoloft in Oct’10, 4 months after my last drug, and after a visit to a GP where I told me him I was suicidal and planning to go through with it. He sort of shrugged and just told me to go back on a med. The Zoloft induced both akathisa and a “despair beyond despair” at my situation. I flew out to Thailand with the intention of having a last hurrah and then taking myself down to one of the gun ranges and putting a .357 round into my frontal lobe. (Guns aren't readily available in the UK) I flew home when my parents found out where I was, despite my (I thought) well-constructed plan to deceive and explained to them the extent of which I was struggling. We sought the services of a psychiatrist whom I thought was progressive and looking at the bigger picture. By now, I was mostly concerned with the brain fog and chronic fatigue - which prevented me from most activities which might have led to an improvement with my lot in life - which led me to conclude my problem was neuro-endocrine based. I agreed to a low-dose of Lexapro, some compounded thyroid hormone and about 20 different supplements to treat any bodily pathologies. Despite this ambitious protocol, there was very little change in mood. I tried to stay working but got overwhelmed again and my suicidal ideation reached a zenith. I flew back out to Asia with my father, this time to Cambodia but to join a volunteer project building houses. I figured a dose of 3rd poverty might take my mind….off my mind. This time I also agreed to start lithium. It was a humbling experience for sure but I was still weak, foggy, anxious and depressed. I also felt intensely guilty at being in my depressed state amongst so much poverty and in a country with the worst auto-genocide in history. I also picked up a stomach infection which led to post-infectious gastroparesis which I have been struggling with since. Early in 2011 I discontinued the lithium, at the time we hadn’t worked out the stomach problem and where concerned the lithium could be causing the GI stuff. I continued with Lexapro in the AM and 25mg amitrypltine to get me off to sleep in the PM. Life was just a haze punctuated by bouts of panic and despair. My ability to work and socialise properly had all but disappeared by now, so I got used to life being what it was. At the beginning of 2012 I decided to take a break from AD’s, they didn’t seem to have improved my lot in life much, maybe coming off them would do some good. This was when my concern, finally, about TD started - I continued to feel like absolute ****. What if the drugs were the problem all along?. It wasn’t until a few months ago that the epiphany really took hold and I realised the full horror of what I subjected myself to. I realised the whole thing was being exacerbated by the very treatment that authority deemed to be of help. Back when I came off Cymbalta in 2010 I just assumed this was my depression anxiety ramping up and the exhaustion was a natural extension, but now I was still horrendously depressed and the other **** kicked in. I curse myself that I didn’t see the connection the first time round and have spent another 2.5 years on psych drugs….. Note, I tried a few drugs of now more than about two weeks duration in 2012. Again this was before the idea of drug-induced harm became cemented in my mind. My last drug ingestion was Tianeptine in November. My question to anyone who has any suggestions and or experiences is in my title – what the hell do I do now? I’m a complete invalid. Living at home with a parent at 25, unable to enjoy much of anything at all, I can’t lose myself in a movie like I did years ago, my mind is just inexplicably turned inward and focused on it’s own arid desolation and fogginess. Reading is a significantly challenging endeavour and writing is difficult (it’s taken me about a week to knock this up into something coherent and semi-legible). I’m just having such trouble formulating a strategy which might give me a chance of getting well again. Just reading this site has given me a bit of hope in that people can get their lives back on track. There’s people here that appear to have got off far harsher drugs and had been on them for longer periods, so I need to keep a perspective of sorts, I’m just terrified at this stage that I’m past the point of no return and that putting what was a fragile brain/mind to begin with in drugs might just have been…… Any help or words of wisdom are appreciated. Thanks for reading. Jack
  21. Hello everyone, I am so glad I found this forum. I feel so lost and alone struggling to navigate this withdrawal. Here's my story: I started 10mg of Amitriptyline on November 1st 2017. I was originally prescribed this for sleep when the doctor took my off my pantoprazole 40 mg cold turkey and I ended up very sick ( I was put on that because they thought maybe I had H. Pylori so once the test came back negative they took me off of it cold turkey.) Due to being so sick coming off the pantoprazole they decided the taper me off it properly by reinstating it and lowering the does by 25% each week. In the mean time he gave me amitriptyline 10mg to help me sleep as I felt so sick. I came off the pantoprazole properly this time, and decided I didn't need to be on the amitriptyline it was making me feel sick to my stomach and making me VERY dizzy to the point where I passed out and hit the floor. So I called my doctor who said just to stop the amitriptyline, it is not an addictive drug and he has never heard of withdrawals on this med. After his last cold turkey mistake I dropped down to 7.5mg of Amitriptyline and felt fine...until day 10 then was I sick!!! After 9 days of this (extreme nausea, headaches, anxiety, aches etc) I couldn't take it anymore and reinstated to 10mg, within 24 hrs I was feeling much better but back on 10mg. Of course when I saw my doctor after this he rolled his eyes and said I must have had the flu. So fed up I got a new doctor. The new doctor also felt that 10mg was such a low dose and withdrawals are impossible on this med. However the fainting and bouts of nausea concerned him, I explained this all started once I began taking this pill but he told me there is no way I could have such bad side effects on 10mg. He sent me for a CT scan on my head, lots of blood work, hooked me up to a blood pressure monitor, heart rate monitor etc. In the mean time I passed out a few more times and continued to feel sick, finally he decided that I must be having an allergic reaction to the meds (im sensitive to meds anyways) since it was causing my blood pressure to drop VERY low. He then told me I must come off them tonight!! 10 to 0 ill be just fine and he refused to give me any more refills because this drug is too dangerous for me this was in March 2018. I refused to go cold turkey (as i had no support on this) so I tapered off of 10mg over 50 days dropping .2mg per night which brought me to the end of my pills. I have been off of Amitriptyline for 2 weeks now as I took my last dose on April 14 2018. For the first 2 weeks I experienced headaches, fatigue, aches, nausea, anxiety etc. I am now dealing with an emotional roller coast and nausea that comes and goes throughout the day. Some days are okay, some days are bad. I have not had any fainting spells since I started tapering which is great but how long will this wax and wane nausea last? Im feeling really low at the moment. Everyone expected that once i was off the drugs I would be perfectly fine within a week or two and the doc will never admit there is withdrawals and just put me on another med :( No one really understands, im hoping someone on here does <3
  22. Hi everyone! I'm here because I'm about to start to taper Amitriptyline 75 mg that I've been taking for my migraines. This is not my first drug-tapering rodeo, but I'm still not looking forward to it. I was first prescribed medication for my migraines in 2004. I was put on trials of amitriptyline, depakine and then topamax. None of these worked, and I had a severe reaction to the topamax that resulted in panic attacks, agoraphobia and suicidal ideation [i had a plan]. During this crisis, I was prescribed Ativan, but I became addicted to it after 8 weeks. I crossed over to Valium 10 mg and tapered off that in 7 months. I was off all migraine preventative drugs for 6 years. Then my migraines started to become much more severe and frequent. After a lot of procrastination, I agreed to start Depakine again. Amitriptyline was added because I was having scalp allodynia – my hair and scalp always felt like it was on fire. I tapered off the Depakine in 2013 because I was starting to feel very ill taking it and the side effects were becoming worse. I stayed on the amitriptyline and needed to increase the dose as my migraines and allodynia continued. Last year, I tried to do a 10% taper of the amitriptyline, but was unsuccessful and needed to reinstate. In the meantime, I started to do the program of Dr. David Buchholz, “Heal Your Headache”. Between the dietary prescriptions and the radical reduction of my migraine rescue remedies, my migraines became significantly better – less frequent and much less severe. The funny thing is, now that my migraines are more under control, I feel quite well on the amitriptyline. The side effects – chronic constipation, chronic dry mouth and weight gain – are annoying, but manageable. Nevertheless, I don't like the idea of being on it and would like to see if I can taper off it and still have good migraine control. If I don't, I'd rather try a calcium-channel blocker like verapamil or diltiazem. Having done this before, however, doesn't make me any less apprehensive about starting the ordeal again. I am planning to do a very slow taper this time, starting at a 2.5% taper and seeing how that goes. I also plan to do a liquid taper. I didn't know about this option in the past, but I think it will be ideal for me this time around My plan is to begin next month. In the meantime, I am upping my supplements, getting my diet lower carb, so that I can get into ketosis, and preparing myself mentally for the long slog. I do have a question: at the present, I am taking tablets for my daily dose. Would it be preferable to start to take my doses of 75 mg as a liquid dose before I start the taper? Or is it advisable to continue with the tablets until I'm ready to start my first cut with a liquid dose? Thanks for any counsel. I've been reading the forum for a few weeks now and already I have gotten so much information. Thank you for all you do!
  23. Hi to all. I am so relieved to find this site. I think I have just put myself in to a toal horror story. I have been taking 25mg amiltyptiline for 3 years for back pain and sleep. I was also taking ophenadrine 100mg twice a day for back pain whilst in the middle east but on return to UK i quit the ophenadrine and replaced with cannabis with no problems at all. have since cut right back on this and only have it when my pain is really bad. I also cut down the amiltriptyline to 12.5mg with no problems a year ago. I have Graves disease and just been diagnosed peri menopause, low ferritin and currently having tests for low bit B12 due to symptoms I've been having. Anyway long story short I am starting to feel like I rattle when I all due to all the meds and vitamins i take so so 12 days ago I decided to quit the Amityptilne as it no longer seemed to be helping me asleep anymore. I was fine for the first week then began to have what I have now read is most likely withdrawal symptoms. Then three days ago BANG hit me like a ton of bricks. tinnitus like i never had before.vertigo,nausea,huge panic attacks,limbs feel like lead to name but a few things. I rang my gp as i was terrified and literally can not get out of bed. He has told me to go back on the meds and ring him in 3 days if i don't feel better. He said if i want to come off them to do it slower like 1/2 my dose every 2 weeks . I am terrified i have done permeant damage to my brain! I don't want to go back on the meds but feel I have no choice so can here hopefully for reassurance that going back on the meds will make these symptoms subside. I have found the site road to recovery which says reduce by 10 percent very very slowly but also wants to sell you lots of supplements. has anyone tried this? Any advice etc would be much appreciated . Thanks for listening Tigger x
  24. Link to: Santino's success story topic Dear friends. I am right now in a very big of a situation. My second daughter is coming into this world due in two weeks and i am as much as a wreck as evere. I had used xanax for on and off very small doses but after two weeks of continuous 0.25 mg usage it seems i got hooked and started to have a lot of anxiety and panic attack. Before that i have had twice problems but i managed to pass them with personal power and sort of other CBT. This time was a bit harder. I Somehow stabilized at start of April on 6 MG Bromazepam and 20 MG Anmitryptiline. After the stabilization i started tapering and failed the first time. The amount went big again up to 6 MG and after a period of 10 days i developed some kind of depression even though i managed to stay at work. Doctor prescribed Remeron 15 MG and i was a bit reluctant to take but i am in a very difficult position right now as my wife is giving birth to my second kid within two weeks and apart from that i have a loan to pay and could not afford to be off so i agreed with the doc to start it. Psychologicaly in the beginning i felt good because with Remeron help i started to make big jumps on the Benzo (Bromazepam) and within 3 weeks i have gone from 6 MG to 0.75 Mg currently. I am still scared though because i have never been on an antidepressant before and there are horror stories all around web about all types of them as well. This is the fourth week i am taking Remeron and is not helping to much with sleep some nights due to my worry thoughts, some more it has side effects (high cholesterol and triglycerides are a trend in my family, me no exception to that) and i am only 40 Years old. There are days when i really feel very bad and hopeless in this situation but somehow manage to push it forward. I need help whether i am doing the right thing and in case yes after i am done with bromazepam most probably in 3-4 days how long should i wait to start tapering Remeron.... One mor thing friends... i have never been depressed for all of my life. OKKKK... i have had difficult moments or periods here and there... but only mild situations. This time the doctore tried to cure me with the reason of my fears.... and i think she failed miserably. Anyway.... i was scared out of proportion after three weeks of xanax and some drinking sessions and all went berserk. Give me some opinions on what should i do???!! Should i wait some days and try taper fast Remeron??? (i will be on them total 4 weeks this tuesday). Maybe i am one of those persons who by chance do not have withdrawals... All the best and keep it tight.... WE WILL PREVAIL.... 🙂
  25. I was on Paxil 23 years, prescribed as a result of a car accident/mild brain injury - talk about adding insult to injury......my mood was low, I had chronic pain, raising three young boys while also running a family business......I regret the day I put that first pill in my mouth. I had tried to go off them a few times over the years, always ending up pleading to go back on I felt so terrible...”clearly, my condition had worsened, or so they said” i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 10 plus years ago and amitriptyline was prescribed, in addition to my Paxil. Surprisingly, this condition resolved once i stoped the Paxil? I have recently weaned myself off - drug free Feb/18....during tapering I carefully supplemented with amino acids to avoid the brain zaps (caution needed with amino acids * serotonin syndrome* can cause life threatening event*)......I felt amazing, the unrelenting fatigue was gone for the first time in 23 years, no more fibromyalgia, I was able to easily get out of bed in the morning, no long naps, the likes of which, had become my trademark .......more access to my feelings......unfortunately, this did not last.... Then came the violent persistent suicidal thoughts - from out of nowhere and very unlike me.....the thoughts felt like they were coming from a source other than my own mind if that makes any sense....they became so frightening I stopped all supplementation for fear it might be worsening it, I then tried homeopathy (this is way off the beaten track for me) this has lessened the intensity, they are much more gentle instead of violent but still suicidal thoughts none the less......could this be progress? Feelings of having ruined my life, absolute, utter despair, nothing left to look forward to.......cannot focus - no interest or ability to finish a novel or movie - who cares how it ends.....anger at people ,places and things way out of proportion.....it feels as if all my unfelt emotions over the years are coming to the surface, all at once......I was once very people orientated, enjoyed a good chat and keeping up with friends......now it seems a real burden....some days I do not think I can bear it......but then I get an easier day and it gives me hope that I can heal from this terrible science experiment....and I wonder how many others are struggling just like me........someone mentioned windows and waves - I feel this to be a very helpful way to think about what’s going on ....looking forward to my next window........could it be today? Usually I know almost before I am fully awake if it’s a wave or a window.........I have joined a couple forums such as these and find them to be of tremendous help - Just knowing others have made it to stable ground and that maybe I will too, gives me Hope.
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