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  1. If you have any recommendations for doctors, therapists, or clinics knowledgeable about tapering or withdrawal syndrome, please add a post to this topic. Here are other sources for doctors who might be helpful regarding tapering or withdrawal syndrome: Doctors who will diagnose drug withdrawal See A list of benzo-wise doctors for withdrawal from benzodiazepines. (This list may contain some entries that are out of date, but has been added to recently. These doctors may also grasp tapering of other drugs.) MadinAmerica.com has a list of practitioners who would withdrawal, mostly therapists but some doctors http://www.madinamerica.com/service-directory/ Safe Harbor's list. Look for MDs and DOs, who can prescribe. The physicians, who take an integrative approach, have volunteered their contact information and generally answer the question "Help take patients off of psychiatric drugs?" with "Yes." This list is a little difficult to use, you may need to look at it page by page. The doctors below have shown concern and knowledge for slow tapering off antidepressants and indicated willingness to work with patients on treatment plans including non-drug treatments. Follow the links next to a doctor's name for more detail about a doctor. This list is frequently updated. If you do not wish to take any other psychiatric medications after quitting, they should respect your wishes. If you find they do not, please let us know and we will remove them from this list. If you consult any of these providers, please let us know your experience. Click on their links to see more about these doctors: PHYSICIANS UNITED STATES US East Coast Mark Lichtenstein, MD, Hardwick, VT Alice H. Silverman, MD, Montpelier, VT Mark D. Green, MD, Medford, MA Bill (Wm D) Slaughter MD, Cambridge, MA Judy Tsafrir, MD, Newton Centre, MA Harold R. Jordan, MD, Northampton and Holyoke, MA (moved) Visions Medical, Wellesley and Dedham, MA Bruce I. Goderez, MD Hadley, MA Windhorse Integrative Mental Health (inpatient), Northampton, MA and San Luis Obispo, CA Holly Major, RN, MSN, ANP-BC, QTTT, Griffin Faculty Practice, Integrative Medicine Center, Derby, CT Kelly Brogan, MD, New York, NY Samoon Ahmad, MD New York, NY Ernest Shaw, MD, Kingston, NY Laura Kelly, PhD, RN, APN-C, Eatontown and Asbury Park, NJ Denis Moonan, MD, Providence, RI 02911 (closing practice) Michelle Barwell, MD, Pittsburgh, PA Joe Tarantolo, MD, Washington, DC (removed from list) Julia Frank, MD, Washington, DC David Pickar, MD, Cabin John, MD (removed from list) Eric Taswell, MD, Washington, DC Daniel Z. Lieberman, MD, Washington, DC William Ronald Gaertner, MD, Richmond, VA US Southeast David Allen, MD, Bartlett, Tennessee Daniel Johnson, MD, Asheville, North Carolina David D. Harwood, MD, Montgomery, Alabama Noel T. Rivers-Bulkeley, MD, Atlanta, Georgia Charles Whitfield, MD, Atlanta, Georgia US Central Toby Hazan, MD, Farmington Hills, MI Elizabeth McMasters, MD McHenry, IL Andrew Pundy, MD, Park Ridge, IL David Bransford, MD, Grand Rapids, MN (Itasca Psychiatric Services) Henry Emmons, MD, Minneapolis, MN (will do Skype and phone sessions) Marie Casey Olseth, MD, St Louis Park, MN George P. Dawson, MD, Saint Paul, MN Varsha Rathod, M.D. Saint Louis, MO Mark Foster, DO, Greenwood Village, Colorado (practice to open in 2013) Tammas F. Kelly, MD, Fort Collins, CO Scott Shannon, MD, Fort Collins, CO Libby (Elizabeth) Stuyt, MD Pueblo, CO US West Coast Maria Yang, MD, Seattle, WA (relocating, not currently taking patients) Prachi Garodia, MD, Medford, OR James R. Phelps, MD, Corvallis, OR Malika Burman, MD, Portland, Oregon Paul Conti, MD, Portland, Oregon Paul Abramson, MD, San Francisco, CA Ira Steinman, MD, San Francisco, CA see this post for member's experience Steven Balt, MD, Walnut Creek and San Rafael, CA Eleanor Hynote, MD, Napa, CA Elizabeth Bowler MD, Davis, CA Christina Lasich, MD, Grass Valley, CA Kent E Rogerson, MD, Stockton, CA BENZOS ONLY Allen T. Pack, MD, Los Angeles, CA Linda D Moghtader, MD, Beverly Hills, CA Brett D Shurman, MD, Los Angeles, CA David Rekar, MD, Los Angeles, CA Stuart Shipko, MD Pasadena, CA Joe Gallagher, MD, Freedom, CA (see Pajaro Sunrise Center) Debra London MD, Ojai, CA Windhorse Integrative Mental Health (inpatient), Northampton, MA and San Luis Obispo, CA IRELAND Terry Lynch, MD, Limerick, Ireland Ivor Browne, MD, Dublin, Ireland Pat Bracken, MD, Bantry, Co. Cork, Ireland UNITED KINGDOM Robert Lefever, MA, MD, B Chir., South Kensington, London (addiction focus) Bob Johnson, MD, London (not accepting patients) Sami Timimi, MD, Lincolnshire Peter Haddad, MD, Greater Manchester Duncan Double, MD, Suffolk and Norwich David Healy, MD, North Wales AUSTRALIA Rob Purssey, MD, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia (will Skype in Brisbane) Yolande Lucire, MD, New South Wales, Australia NEW ZEALAND Tony Coates, MD, Auckland FINLAND Jeremy Wallace, MD, Vantaa, Finland Hasse Karlsson, MD,Turku, Finland DENMARK Lisbeth Kortegaard, MD, Hoejbjerg, Denmark NETHERLANDS See the 22 psychiatrists listed at the end of http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5195-tapering-strips-to-be-produced-for-paroxetine-and-venlafaxine/?p=66738 INPATIENT (RESIDENTIAL) FACILITIES CooperRiis Center, North Carolina Pajaro Valley Sunrise Center, Watsonville, CA (in fundraising stage) PSYCHOTHERAPY Mary Jean Paris, PhD, San Francisco, CA Barbara Croner, MFT, San Francisco, CA Jon Keyes, LPC, NCC, Portland, OR Eric Buck, Holistic Therapy Onlilne, Sacramento and Davis, CA National Empowerment Center (Dr. Daniel B. Fisher's organization) guide to consumer-run organizations http://www.power2u.org/consumerrun-statewide.html Aku Kopakkala, psychologist, Finland If you consult any of these providers, please let us know your experience.
  2. Zoloft withdrawal success - my story When I first decided to wean myself off of Zoloft, I searched the internet for stories about people who had successfully gotten off antidepressants and had trouble finding them so I promised myself that if I made it I would post my story. Tomorrow, will mark my "no Zoloft for one year" anniversary. In that time, I haven't used alcohol or any other mood altering substance either, and I'm doing fine. It hasn't been easy, and it took a while, but I made it and I was able to function, to work and to take care of myself throughout. Diagnosed with social anxiety and depression when I was in my mid 40s, I was put on Zoloft and stayed at 200mg per day for around 5 years. The Zoloft helped me. It took the edge off of my anxiety, and since my depression was the result of my anxiety, it helped with that as well. Another pleasant side effect was that I lost a few pounds. So why would I want to stop taking it? The Nurse Practitioner who prescribed the meds was puzzled. It works, why stop taking it? I can't fully answer that question, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I've struggled with addiction my entire life. Drugs, alcohol, food... maybe I felt like by taking the Zoloft I was avoiding dealing with one of the major themes of my life. Whatever the reason, I wanted to stop taking it. I'd tried twice using the NP's tapering recommendation, which was to decrease by 50mg every week for a month. I never made it past the first week because I'd have flashes of disorientation and dizziness (which I didn't mind) and then become anxious and depressed (which I did mind). She told me Zoloft didn't cause withdrawal symptoms, it was my natural state of anxiety and depression returning, so I needed to stay on the Zoloft. I knew I was having withdrawal symptoms, but they were so intense I couldn't function, so went back on the Zoloft. Then my mother told me that she had weaned herself off of Premerin by doing a very slow taper over the course of a year, so I decided to try that. My plan was to decrease the Zoloft by 25mg every month over a period of 8 months. The first month was fine. I'd have rough patches, but they were manageable. After 8 months I was off the Zoloft but a few weeks later, I started having withdrawal symptoms including what people refer to as "brain zaps." I called them "head rushes" because it felt like my brain was being flooded by chemicals. Then I became anxious and depressed again, so I decided to go back up to the lowest dosage where I felt good, which was 50mg. Then instead of tapering at 25mg per month, I reduced it to 10mg a month, and that is how I eventually got off the Zoloft. Whenever the withdrawal symptoms became uncomfortable, I'd go back up to a "comfortable" dosage then begin tapering in smaller increments, a "progressive taper," similar to what is recommended in the book "The Anti-Depressant Solution," and on this website. Eventually I had to buy a milligram scale (available on amazon), because the increments became so small. I was amazed how sensitive my body had become to the tiniest adjustments in dosage. The last month I was down to 5mg, and I stopped taking Zoloft completely February 1, 2014. One year ago tomorrow. I was on 200mg of Zoloft for 5 years and it took 2 ½ years to taper off completely. It took a long time, but I wanted to taper safely, physically and emotionally. And I did. During that time I was able to work and to meet all my social commitments. At the suggestion of the NP, I joined a social anxiety group which used Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She warned that I shouldn't go off the meds without addressing the underlying cause, which made sense to me. However, I also believe that much of my anxiety and depression was situational, even though she maintained it was my natural state. When I first came to her, I was going through an extremely stressful period of my life. I was having problems finding work and didn't know how I was going to pay my rent or survive from month to month. I went on one job interview after another and I think social anxiety and depression were my way of trying to protect myself from more rejection and failure. So how do I feel now, one year later? I'm doing okay. I occasionally get a head rush, but it's very mild. I wouldn't today describe myself as either socially anxious or depressed, but I know that this is how I react to stress, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has helped me develop strategies for dealing with those tendencies. 12 step programs, self help books, spiritual practices like yoga and meditation, healing modalities like Reiki, and individual therapy have all been part of my healing process as well. On this journey, life has given me both challenges and assistance in dealing with social anxiety and depression. For example, as I was tapering I started dating someone for the first time in years, and we had a fun relationship which helped heal a lot of issues relating to social anxiety. Then, after two years we broke up, so that offered its challenges, but I didn't sink into depression, which was kind of amazing. At the time, I also had bed bugs which deprived me of sleep and sent my anxiety through the roof, but I survived that too. (The bed bugs did not.) My ex-boyfriend introduced me to hiking, which I loved, so I started going to hiking meet-ups and found a circle of friends who also love to hike which helped heal a different aspect of my social anxiety. Also, becoming more physically active probably helped with the depression... In other words, life went on. There were challenges and there were opportunities and often the challenges were the opportunities. The Zoloft helped me get through a very difficult period of my life, and I'm grateful for that, but I had no idea what I was getting myself into. But here I am, 8 ½ years later, and I haven't used Zoloft or any mood altering drugs, alcohol or coffee (all of which affect my anxiety and depression) for a year. Today, I feel optimistic and hopeful. I know life will have it's challenges but also that I have resources and strategies to assist me, and I am grateful to all who have helped me on this journey; therapists, teachers, friends, strangers, nature, and also to life itself, which Eckhart Tolle calls "the greatest guru of all." Do I have moments of fear and anxiety? Yes! Do I have moments of happiness and joy? Yes! Do I have moments of depression and sadness? Yes! Do I have moments of laughter and silliness? Yes! All of it, yes. What I was dreading is that it would be unending anxiety and depression, and that hasn't been my experience. Life is okay, with its highs and lows and all of it. Like Snoop Dogg says, "it's all good."
  3. Hey everyone, My name is Abby and I have been off Prozac for 3.5 months now. I'm currently experiencing intense withdrawal and the return of mental states I never thought I'd have to experience again, and I would really like to connect with others who are going through similar during this long, difficult process. Background info: I always had tendencies towards anxiety, depression and obsessive compulsive disorder (the Pure-Obsessional variety) since childhood. At 16 these symptoms very rapidly became so severe my whole life fell apart within a matter of days (Going on the contraceptive pill at this time may have been a contributing factor). I didn't have a full breakdown until I was 18, at which point I was taken to the doctor, put on Sertraline, and referred to psychiatry. The following 8 years consisted of several psychiatric admissions, different drugs including clomipramine, seroquel, mirtazipine, prozac, and possibly a few others for shorter periods. I lost pretty much everything, my obsessional fears were so strong that I attempted suicide more than once, developed a bad cocaine/mephadrone habit, was a constant worry to my family. There were times, however, where the medication would help a lot. At 60mg of Prozac I went through some periods of being functional - I went to work, got into a relationship etc. These were a great relief but I can't say I was truly happy as the fears were never properly dealt with. My last hospital admission was in 2014 when I was 24. I had attempted to come off medication as I believed I had to deal with the underlying problems, and I hated the weight gain side effects. Looking back, this was doomed to fail as I was still using cocaine regularly, drinking a lot, and didn't have any proper support mechanisms in place. I was fine for 6 months then crashed, was borderline psychotic with the OCD symptoms, depressed and anxious beyond belief and desperately wanted to die (and believed I deserved to). I was in a psych ward for just over 2 months before new meds kicked in - clompipramine and (randomly, I don't know why) Epilum, as I was told it 'balanced moods'. A year later I went back on to old faithful Prozac and also came off the contraceptive pill. I had always been told the same about it, that it leveled out moods, and don;t think it's a coincidence that my symptoms became much more manageable a few months after stopping it. I then managed to stay at 40mg for 2 years and my life changed drastically for the better. to myself and everyone around me it was like a miraculous recovery - I stopped taking drugs, began volunteering at a Buddhist meditation centre, got my dream job, published a novel, did newspaper interviews about my experiences, ...I pretty much had my dream life. It was like being reborn after thinking everything was all over...forever. It was in January 2017 that I decided to gradually wean off Prozac. Over the following 10 months I reduced until stopping completely in October. In these past 2 years I have done extensive mind training and spiritual exploration, which has probably been the main factor in this recovery. My life is pretty much dedicated to this practice now - I still volunteer at the meditation centre, go on meditation retreats throughout the year, and have also completed a Reiki Mastership. It was always potentially on the cards after exploring my mind with psychedelic drugs in the past, doing past life regressions and also taking Ayahuasca twice in ceremonies. It was around the time of the reiki mastership that I was weaning off the last of the Prozac. Things became challenging - but at first I welcomed it. I was in a strong place mentally, and my mental health hadn't plagued me intensely for a few years. I was made aware that the Reiki energy can churn things up to be healed, but I think that the combination of this, a massive flare up of a back issue that left me not able to walk for weeks, family pressures and intensive mind exploration during retreat that has led me to my current situation. Since December just passed things have been incredibly difficult. I have experienced a return of old OCD obsessions, to the point where I've had panic attacks for days that made my vision blur, heavy depression, crying all the time, existential fears and experiences which medically would look similar to psychosis (although I believe that term can pathologize important and natural inner processes), identity confusion etc. I knew it would be hard, I just never expected to feel this level of horror ever again. Having said that, I know things are different this time round - I have a level of insight gained through spiritual practice that is keeping me going. Energetically, I'm aware that I am creating this reality on various levels, and that I need to relax as much as possible to allow it to pass through the way it's supposed to. I'm no stranger to facing the darkest parts of the psyche, but it's still terrifying and I'm struggling to cope day to day. To make matters worse, my Mum has gone abroad for cancer treatment and I'm now caring for my little brother and sister 4 days a week which is incredibly stressful (I'm used to having my own space and being able to retreat when I need to). My CBT therapist has discharged me as she feels I cannot engage with therapy under this amount of stress, but encouraged me to come back when my Mum gets back. To be fair, she never taught me anything I didn't naturally learn in meditation and I was only seeing her regularly to comply with services. I have however started going for reiki treatments with the person who facilitated the course I was on last year - he is exceptionally intuitive, knowledgeable and takes an all round, individual approach. One session with him last week was worth a year of 'traditional' therapy. So I'm hoping that continuing with this will help. Anyway, sorry for the essay. I don't have many people to talk to about all this. It's also weird for me to ask for help now as I haven't needed it in so long - I'm usually now the one that helps everyone else. It's a scary and heartbreaking thing to go back to a place you thought you'd left long in the past, but I do believe deep down that I have done so in order to face my demons fully and emerge stronger in the long run. Thank you if you made it this far, I'm looking forward to connecting with others on this site. You are all incredibly strong to be doing what you're doing, no matter what stage you're at. Much love x
  4. I have been on citalopram since 2009 then it stopped working. The Dr put me on citalopram and mirtazapine combination which worked for a while then that stopped working. The Dr then put me on mirtazapine and Venlafaxine 150mg XL combination which workes for a while again ans then stopped working. The Dr put me on amitriptyline 50mg saying thay would be the best drug for me while i took 8 months to slowly remove each bead from Venlafaxine capsule to come off it. As soon as I took my last beed i went into crazy angry depression. The dr increased my dosage of amitriptyline from 50mg to 150mg but the side effects were horrible and at this point i got sick of these meds and decided to quit CT. I had horrible withdrawal symptoms and i started acting like a child and not being able to walk, had balance problems. I reinstated back to 50mg amitriptyline since april 2018 and i have been getting worse. I cannot sleep. My vision is so badly affected that i have grainy vision and floaters have increased dramatically . I see after images and it's as if the lights have been turned off. When i begin to fall asleep, i start to have dreams before i actually fall asleep and my brain keep. Waking up just before i am about to sleep. I cannot follow conversations, I mishear things all the time. I am totally dependant on others and i feel people think i have gone crazy. I don't know what to do i am getting worse and worse. I often trip, lose my balance. I hardly have any short term memory and cannot do simplest of things. I cannot even watch anything on TV as i cannot follow.it I'm having major concentration problems. I don't know how. I'm writing this. I cannot work or drive. Please you have no idea how i am putting these sentences together. I need urgent help. Please advice. I have no energy, no appetite. If I'm posting this in the wrong place, please accept my appology as I can hardly read and understand things. P
  5. Hi guys, Here is a little about me: I’ve been on antidepressants most my life. I didn’t have a good childhood and I thought these pills were the godsend answers we all wanted. I thought antidepressants were equivalent to insulin to diabetics. I honestly felt the worst on my concoction of pills. I was on something like 600mg of Seroquel XR, Valium, and something else to “help” the Seroquel. I felt more suicidal. I was put into a psych hospital for a week and I met a doctor who told me that my problem is hypothyroidism. He said so many doctors will overlook this one and go straight to psych meds. I got my blood checked and it showed I had low T3 and T4 cells. Pretty much that I do have hypothyroidism. I wanted to thank him the next day, but I found out he was “let go”. I had to do mandatory therapy (well they said it was mandatory, I don’t know if that was a lie) and DBT and CPT was great. I really enjoyed it. Well after I graduated, my therapist said I was cleared of everything. I still followed up with my psychiatrist for meds. She was gone on maternity leave and a younger male psychiatrist filled in for her. Before she left, we were tapering my meds. Now I didn’t know antidepressants caused withdrawals. I thought it would be like birth control where if I stopped, things would adjust back to my normal self. Well I reduced Celexa from 60mg to 50mg, reduces Lamictal, got rid of Abilify and Prazosin. I got super sick around 4 days but I didn’t have a fever. I also felt much more strange. Everywhere in my body hurt from each hair follicle to a single cell. It was the strangest pain and honestly I was ready to die. I couldn’t think of what would get me sick. My husband and I ate the same food and nothing changed except my medication reduction. Could that be it? One google search and wow. What is this “SSRI withdrawal”? There was so much about the world of antidepressants. From money to politics to health to bribery to black mail to media, antidepressants are a huge commodity. I saw both the pros and cons, the light and the dark. I was angry. I was angry at myself, the (American) medical system, and having withdrawals while finding this out sucked. Sucked super bad. I didn’t know the chemical imbalance was marketing plan. I totally fell for it. Never in my life once have I ever gotten a test done to show what my imbalances are. If a test even exists. I went back for a follow up at the mental health clinic I was assigned to after the week hospital stay and saw the fill-in while my main psychiatrist was away on maternity leave. I asked him, “how come no doctor ever in my life, ever told me about the pros and cons of antidepressants? Why did they just feed it to me?” And he replied, “each doctor has their own ethics.” And I said, “so I’m going to be possibly stuck feeling sick from withdrawals the rest of my life?” And he replied, “You’re going to be stuck with depression for the rest of your life.” He said it in a tone where he was getting angry. He then commented how I’m probably going to need medication for the rest of my life. At this moment, I knew things were bad. I got myself into a huge mess. And no doctor was on my side. Thats when I started to google everything. I even came across this site and some others too. A lot actually. I started to taper on my own following guides. As a matter of fact, I hate to say this because pharmaceuticals is a touchy subject, but I have gotten better and throuough advice from people online rather than my local health professionals. People online have given me better advice than licensed doctors....I’ve single handily experienced incompetent doctors and now I feel ‘trained’ that I just cannot trust American doctors with my mental health anymore. I’m afraid anything I say they will use against me. That my withdrawals are my symptoms coming back or my withdrawals are helping “new” underlying mental problems appear. I remember when I was 19 or 20, a psychiatrist was diagnosing me and finding pills using some app on an iPad. No blood test or brain scan. No science. Not even using the DSM. Just a free iPad app anyone can download. Let me wrap this up. I honestly abused antidepressants for 5 years. I would stub my toe, get mad, make an appointment, get a new drug or increase dose or both. I literally thought antidepressants were magic. I felt the worst in those 5 years. I was so cloudy, depressed, a huge mess. I thought this was normal and it’s the “depression” as my doctors would call it. After the fiasco of finding out about withdrawals, I was more than ready to stop. I tapered too fast. Celexa was the most difficult. I started tapering Celexa in April 2017 and stopped my final dose on Dec 2017. Celexa has given me the worst withdrawals. I lost my job due to constantly feeling ill and hallucinating/dreaming. I can’t do basic functions such as math so finding a retail job isn’t doable right now. My speech isn’t the same and I have a more difficult time with vocabulary. My stomach will cramp and I will get nauseous. When I do, I hallucinate like I am having a psychedelic trip on a substance. I recently found out that me “dreaming” while I’m awake is called derealization. I gave myself an injury because I felt like i was floating and dreaming, which ended up costing me a trip to the ER. I had the “lol so what? ;p” mentality. Now I have permanent ugly scars that remind me of this everyday. I deal with mental struggles because I had a bad childhood. That’s a given and that’s life. But I felt that was an excuse to give me all these labels and load me up on pills. And an excuse on my part. I do believe my health now is me “reaping what I sowed” because I did go to the doctors like it was a candy store. Both doctors and myself are to blame. I was ignorant and naive and I followed the crowd and I am literally reaping what I sowed. Pharmaceuticals is a touchy subject and I just want to be good terms. I’ve been called out saying that I’m ignorant for labeling antidepressants as crap as it has helped some people. A gal I grew up with is becoming a nurse and asked people’s opinion on Big Pharma, mainly opiates. As a matter of fact, she didn’t know antidepressants were part of “Big Pharma”. So I left a comment (Facebook) about how she should look into antidepressants as well. Another girl I grew up with whom is also becoming a nurse told me it’s ignorant and wrong of me to say that as it helps her with her chemical imbalance. She then proceeded to say and that you can find depression with brainscans and what not. And then linked a bunch of articles. I decided not to argue becaue she’s learning to become a nurse. I feel that’s like me joining the NRA and my husband trying to tell me guns are bad. In other words, I was walking into a lost battle. With that, I was asked to write an introduction. I know antidepressants are touchy so I won’t argue with anyone whether they’re good or bad. Like DBT and CPT taught me, to each their own. I don’t mean to offend anyone with this as this is my personal story. Currently, I am on the road to recovery. Some days are okay and some days are not. Thank you for taking your time to read this.
  6. See journal articles about PSSD in Papers about Post-SSRI Sexual Disorder (PSSD) Please note that SurvivingAntidepressants is a site for tapering and recovery from withdrawal syndrome. While we see PSSD sometimes as an aspect of withdrawal syndrome (and we see gradual recovery from it as well as withdrawal syndrome), this site is not specifically for discussion of treatment of PSSD or its neurological origins (which at this time are highly speculative). If you wish to discuss symptoms, theories, and treatment of PSSD, please go to these sites: PSSDforum http://www.pssdforum.com/ Yahoo group SSRIsex (log in to http://Yahoo.com to join) Facebook group (log into Facebook.com to join) Various pages on Rxisk.org
  7. Hi, I really don't know how to do this so please bare with me here. I have never used a website like this before - So I am new here. I don't know what else to do at this point. I am looking for some help and support from people that know what I'm going through and have experience in this area. I have been on Lexapro for over 3 years now - 20mg each night. On January 1st I decided I was going to taper off, like I have in the past with other drugs ive been on. It was my choice, I wanted to be completely free of any antidepressant or antipsychotic pharmaceutical, Lexapro was my last step/drug. At first I was doing ok - I went down from 20mg to 15 mg for about 30-35 days, then went from 15mg to 10mg for about another month or so. The 20-15mg was mild and tolerable but when I hit the 10 mg stage, I could really feel a difference. It was not pleasant and I wanted to go down faster but stuck it out for another month before I went down from 10mg - 5 mg. I was still sleeping during this time even tho it was different, I felt like If I was still able to get sleep that that was a good sign. The 10-5mg drop down wasn't too bad, I actually felt better on 5mg then 10 so I stayed on the 5mg for about 3 weeks. At this point I was cutting my pill into a fourth so it didn't feel like much. I felt well during this time I decided to drop down to 2.5mg. I didn't feel too much of a change and felt confident I could finally get off of this drug. So in a matter of about 2 weeks. I continued to go down from 2.5 to half, 1.25 and at that point I was dealing with such a small dose in my hand I just kept cutting the pill into smaller pieces. I probably should have stayed on those small pieces longer than I did, I think that was my error maybe? After 2 weeks I thought there was no point in taking crumbs of Lexapro, I thought it wasn't hurting or helping, so I could just stop taking it. I figured 3 and a half months or so was a patient and slow enough taper right? Well it turns out I was very wrong. The first day or two completely off of Lexapro weren't too much different, I actually felt relieved and like I had finally made it and crossed the finish line. I have been taking melatonin 5mg each night for the past year so this is all I was taking at that point and was still able to sleep even tho it felt different I was happy I could still sleep since I have always struggled with insomnia. But after about 3-4 day mark, I could really start to feel the withdrawals hitting hard. My brain went foggy and I started having what everybody calls the brain zaps, those were terrbible. I kept telling myself I can do this, I can make it, its just part of the process. well during this time now about 4-6 days of no Lexapro, I started getting really angry all of sudden, like full or rage for no apparent reason or if it was for a reason, it wasn't a valid reason to feel the anger and rage I felt. I became severely irritable and mad and ofcourse my best friend, the only one who has helped me through it all, couldn't be there for me. I didn't blame here, but it was very scary and frustraiting to have no help and to feel so helpless. I knew I was hitting a wall and my body was and brain were struggling and I needed help. Well filled with rage, I said some irritable things to my friend, nothing irreparable but very strong worded that I felt like I wasn't getting support that I needed. Whatever I said had a stronger reaction than I thought but all I could think at the time was trying to get through the next moment, one moment at a time. I couldlnt think of anything else. Anywyas this friend has now disappeared and doesn't trust me, but I have this happen before when Ive struggled. Its probably my fault but I do try to be a good person as much as I can but when I'm struggling and have no help I don't know what to do and lash out I guess at the person closest to me. I feel terrible this has happened but not much I can do at this point. Anyways, I continued going through withdrawals the second week. I could feel the brain zaps were diminishing which felt like progress but than the panic attack hit me. Out of nowhere I woke up in the middle of the night after taking melatonin like I always did and I woke up in some sort of half awake/half asleep way full of panic and struggling to breathe. I felt like I was going to die or atleast faint and hit my head on something and no one would know. I didn't know what to do. Ive never called 911 before but it felt like the only option I had. Those 15 minutes were the longest in my life or atleast it felt that way. The kind operator kept me calm and dispatched help on the way but I could hardly breathe and felt like I was going to pass out at any moment. my body at this point was shaking uncontrollably like I was freezing, and I couldn't stop it. all I remember is just trying to stay awake/alive until someone got here. I heard a knock on the door, it opened and the first emt that I saw walk in to my room all of a sudden gave me so many mixed emotions and feelings all at once. I felt extremely relieved and so much of the anxiety dissipated as soon I saw help had arrived. also I was struck with embarrasement and guilt at the same time as I had just then realized I wasn't dying and it was a panic attack and extreme anxiety. They took some tests and talked me through it and told me it was a panic attack. They were extrememely kind. I felt terrible I had wasted their time. But I truly felt like I was going to die. This was a scary wake up call. I knew I had to do something and I was scared it would happen again. The next two nights I would drive 45 minutes to my moms apartment to stay with her and I have no one else here or place to go. I wanted to be around someone. I slept okay that night but the second night only slept a few hours and the panic attack trioed to set in a few times those nights as well but I was able to realize what was happening and ward them . off. At this point I had to try something else for sleep to maybe replace the Lexapro? that's what I thought. So I started taking zzzquil which is just diphenhydramine like Benadryl. for the next week I would take that and melatonin and would have some success and some relapse of panic attacks throughout the night. during week 3 of being completely off of Lexapro, I could feel that my body was anxiety ritten. Just chalk full of it. I was thinking fast, talking fast and anxious about everything and could not relax no matter what I did or what breathing exercises or meditation. I continue to try natural approaches and personally feel I am a strong willed person but at the end of week 3 it became too much to handle. I caved in. I felt my body craving the Lexapro and as much as I didn't want to go back on it, I didn't know what else to do. I decided to take an extremely small dose probably .5 mg to 1mg just to see what would happen. Immediately I could feel the anxiety lessen and the first day or two felt like it was the right choice. Now here we are Monday 5/21/18. It was 10 days ago when I decided this. Since it felt right I continued to take a very small dose approximately 1 mg of Lexapro and the melatonin and now the zzzquil at night. My body and brain have been feeling all sorts of things - headaches all day, brain fog and uncontrollable brain feeling/thoughts at night right before I fade to sleep and yawning all day at work. Ofcourse I started a new job last Monday with delta that I will have to give up since I just cant manage now. This whole last week was probably 4 days of good/ok sleep enough to function/3 days of small panic attacks and anxiety and worry and not great sleep. But I thought this was better than before. I did continue to up the dose slightly each night and last night I think I took 2.5-3mg but its hard to say since I'm pill cutting and they are so small. I thought this was the right thing to do, but last night was the kicker. I was hoping to get sleep to continue my new job today. However I had a severe panic attack much like the one when I called 911. This time I knew what was happening so I didn't call them but it didn't make it any easier. I called my brother just to have someone to talk to. it lasted for about 20 minutes as my body continued to shake uncontrollably and I felt like I couldn't breathe but continued to try to breate and stay calm. This time it didn't go away. I couldn't go to sleep until about 4 am and woke up at 9 and still feel like my brain has this lasting hangover. Its hard to explain but I feel this imbalance in my body/brain, and I feel like panic can hit me at any time, even after I had some breakfast I felt panic and shortness of breathe so I am now afraid almost to eat or drink anything. I had chicken soup and water and have stayed home from work, called in sick and have called a doctor and will most likely go to the local urgent care tonight. Here is where I don't know what to do and would welcome and appreciate any input or help. Thank you for reading this far if youre still here. -- I am out of answers and don't know what to do tonight for sleep or if I should still take the Lexapro, or take less of it or if when I see a doctor I should take a new drug - everything seems not so fun and not like a good idea. So I feel like I am stuck. My health insurance sucks ofcourse my fault, I have some money saved up but that was for all the debt I still have so it will be hard to see that go. I am scarted to take the zzzquiil and have purchased so valerian root, ive heard its good but I'm nervous to take anything new at this point. I hope whoevert I see tonight will have some insight but I am not so sure they will, ive never had much luck with doctors. I am more scared than ive been in a long time. The last time any of this happened was during my divorce. it was an all time low point in my life. I had been on Seroquel for about 8-9 years, Depakote and lithium for about the same. I found myself not caring about my life and my marriage and everything I knew had ended/ust been taken from me. During this time I had more complications than ever with trying new drugs and coming off of these old ones. Klonopin helped but then I became dependant on it every day and used for over 2 years but I successfully withdrew from that last year, it was hell. I'm sorry to ramble on. And I'm sorry for everyone who has to deal with this. I feel incredibly hopeless and alone. I feel like I have failed once again at holding a job and becoming self dependant. Once again I am a man who is sick and troubled and always needs help and cant support myself. I hate this feeling. I just want to get better. I have been striving as much as I could over the last 4 years to become healhty, on less drugs, better eating habits, working harder and making enough money to support myself and all the good stuff that ive wanted in a healthy life but I have failed once again. If you have any input or knowledge of this type of thing or have an idea of what ive done to myself or what I can do I would greatly appreciate your help. Thank you for listening
  8. Lavender120884

    Lavender120884: Celexa 20mg

    Hi, As I am new to this forum I like to introduce myself. My name is Jennifer and I'm from Holland. I'm 33 years old. I have been on celexa for 17 years.. got forced by my parents when I was 15 and haven't been able to quit them since. Now I'm 3 weeks into weaning of again and it has been hell. I went from 20mg to 15mg and am planning to stay on 15mg for 3 months or at least till I'm stable again. I'm also planning to have fluods instead of pills so I can wean off more slowly as I feel I'm going too fast now. My withdrawal symptoms are: headaches, nausea, dizziness, fatigue, feeling numb, hard time spelling words, no apatite, panic attacks at night, severe neck pain. I hope I will do better soon..
  9. I'm a 28 year old man from Greece. I am suffering from ssri side effects 8 years now. I think that Imight suffering from withdrawal symptom (or Pssd). I don't know also if there is a difference. I was diagnosed with OCD in 2009 and I was on Prozac from 2009 to 2014 daily on 60mg. On this time interval I have noticed that I had weak erections without paying real attention. But when I I had awful experiences with women where I didn't have enough erections then I realized that the prozac may be the cause. I haven't taken it since 2014. Occassionally I was on zoloft to 20mg (the indicated dose for ocd) but I stopped them gradually. Since April 2017 I am not taking any medication but I have to confess that I have to tackle severe side effects such as erectile dysfunction, muted or inability to orgasm I noticed also impaired seven quality and sometimes the quantity was insufficient (almost zero). I am in a bad situation and I feel regretful for taking these drugs. I preferred to have OCD (or whatever mental illness is this) rather than facing impotence and inability to have children. Has anyone an idea about what am I supposed to do?
  10. JanCarol

    Peter Gotzscke Melbourne Talk

    Peter Gotzschke recently came to Australia, and toured around our cities, lecturing sometimes 3-5 times in each major city. He had an important message to bring, and his reputation preceded him - lots of pdocs came, and other care providers. Some of the pdocs argued with him (in Brisbane) about the value of "forced treatment" and neuroleptics, insisting that the benefit of these drugs "saved lives." Here is the Melbourne talk:
  11. Here I am, lost and Confused as usual... I was mean to the one I love and scared him away to sleep on the couch... how many more times will he be able to take my emotions? Luckily, we don't have a kid - but we do have a kitty. I am in love with my little family and the world is so harsh... I am not from here. I am from another province full of energy pillpoppers and alcoholism and cold-hearted humans. This province was opportunity to escape, and I needed it. Sometimes I get scared that I cannot escape my problems again and I want the pain to go away. I want to start over... all the time. I was too old to be adopted, but accepted into a family still. I was given a voice, but I used it to disagree. Surely I am an adult, and I should be treated like one. It is always money and no one else wants to be wrong when I'm around. I am kind. I am honest. I am an animal lover. I don't do drugs that aren't prescribed and I don't hurt anyone if I can help it. Why am I the easiest one to blame? I can take abuse, but never the emotional kind... please don't raise your voice or yell. My new mom was so quick to put me on drugs to mold me into her perfect doctor. Surely I gained weight when I moved out, because I stopped having constant meals and money was a problem. It was the first time I stopped consistently taking my drugs. No one ever told me how to take them properly, and I've yet to take them at the same time until recently. I'm unsure what to do with my iron pills, but they seem to be the only ones helping. Maybe there is a reason I bought Omega 3 Fish oils and vitamins. I am a pale-skin colour-sensitive woman with major PTSD from childhood trauma... I finally removed my mother from my life - but the other snakes slowly replace her. I was never checked up on as a child, I never knew what normal was. I was never anorexic but I don't remember eating because my mother told me we were both picky. I have terrible teeth, and I'm overweight. I cut all my hair off because I make impulsive decisions... but it's growing back healthier! Just not fast enough. I've lost another job. This is the first one that got rid of me. I called in sick in my probationary period, because I was withdrawing.... And I have no help.... I don't want to go to the doctor anymore. I was free of pills and almost maybe doing okay but Effexor found its way??? And I've never felt the pain of trying to quit until now.. Hot and colds and puking all over the floor... financial issues are a big thing and my man cannot do it alone but I have no money and we are slowly diminishing. I don't want to eat when there is food, just so it'll last a bit longer... I need help but everyone is so damn quick to put the pills back in my mouth and make sure they're swallowed. I am probably a hereditary bipolar... if I would have been helped I might have done better. I started smoking a bit more pot and it gave me the confidence I needed to do research and learn... sometimes I try too hard to put together pieces of puzzles I don't understand and I start to sound crazy to anyone looking to listen or judge... I'm on my period and I'm practically anemic, so the withdraws are definitely just the cherry on top aren't they? I do my best late at night... I forgot to take a pill to wean myself off of and it was so bad. The last few days I took 3 then took the risk of 2 but managed to take 1 and live... maybe I can handle the pains if I sleep more. I don't feel like I have a reason to live, so maybe sleeping will help me catch up. I'm hungry.... I didn't think I'd write this much... or anything at all. I am thankful for this forum... thankful so many can submit stories to compare. I was an ugly child, but I was somewhat smarter than most when it came to random things. I think the fact there were too many people in the room made it harder to learn. It's hard to be a tomboy and a partial nerd when the boys want to touch you. When did becoming promiscuous get so easy? If I could take it all back, I would have stayed smart... but there were too many distractions. I think the drugs helped me even hear better and that made them so easy to take. Maybe the absence of them will influence a loss in this extra 40 pounds I carry. Maybe all of my problems were unknown withdraws from each and every new miracle drug. I smoke my weed to help me remember... I know some may disagree - but I am already damaged and I only reap the benefits. The ability to feel hunger... I only feel it when I'm starving and it's too late. Where do I go from here? I've been checked into the psychward as an adolescent many moons ago... I'm in my 20s and I don't want to be stuck there, and without my little kitty. He purrs when I cry, and makes everything okay. I even considered joining the army because I didn't mind dying, but I could never survive the time away. I think I will be okay in time... I hope it doesn't get too hard. I haven't taken any specific pill consistently, so I'm unsure of what to compare - and the doctor doesn't even know what she's giving me anymore. Oh. You're hurting? There's a drug for that. Let me write you something. Sorry for the rant. Thanks for listening... Good vibes only, please. I used to be so quick to judge and assume people want to yell DEPRESSED because it's trendy... when the 20 something years of pain is something I'd never wish on my worst enemy... I know the difference now, and all I want to do is help people. My problem is all I do is help everyone else and I'm left to pick up my own pieces that I didn't know were missing in the process.
  12. Here I am, lost and Confused as usual... I was mean to the one I love and scared him away to sleep on the couch... how many more times will he be able to take my emotions? Luckily, we don't have a kid - but we do have a kitty. I am in love with my little family and the world is so harsh... I am not from here. I am from another province full of energy pillpoppers and alcoholism and cold-hearted humans. This province was opportunity to escape, and I needed it. Sometimes I get scared that I cannot escape my problems again and I want the pain to go away. I want to start over... all the time. I was too old to be adopted, but accepted into a family still. I was given a voice, but I used it to disagree. Surely I am an adult, and I should be treated like one. It is always money and no one else wants to be wrong when I'm around. I am kind. I am honest. I am an animal lover. I don't do drugs that aren't prescribed and I don't hurt anyone if I can help it. Why am I the easiest one to blame? I can take abuse, but never the emotional kind... please don't raise your voice or yell. My new mom was so quick to put me on drugs to mold me into her perfect doctor. Surely I gained weight when I moved out, because I stopped having constant meals and money was a problem. It was the first time I stopped consistently taking my drugs. No one ever told me how to take them properly, and I've yet to take them at the same time until recently. I'm unsure what to do with my iron pills, but they seem to be the only ones helping. Maybe there is a reason I bought Omega 3 Fish oils and vitamins. I am a pale-skin colour-sensitive woman with major PTSD from childhood trauma... I finally removed my mother from my life - but the other snakes slowly replace her. I was never checked up on as a child, I never knew what normal was. I was never anorexic but I don't remember eating because my mother told me we were both picky. I have terrible teeth, and I'm overweight. I cut all my hair off because I make impulsive decisions... but it's growing back healthier! Just not fast enough. I've lost another job. This is the first one that got rid of me. I called in sick in my probationary period, because I was withdrawing.... And I have no help.... I don't want to go to the doctor anymore. I was free of pills and almost maybe doing okay but Effexor found its way??? And I've never felt the pain of trying to quit until now.. Hot and colds and puking all over the floor... financial issues are a big thing and my man cannot do it alone but I have no money and we are slowly diminishing. I don't want to eat when there is food, just so it'll last a bit longer... I need help but everyone is so damn quick to put the pills back in my mouth and make sure they're swallowed. I am probably a hereditary bipolar... if I would have been helped I might have done better. I started smoking a bit more pot and it gave me the confidence I needed to do research and learn... sometimes I try too hard to put together pieces of puzzles I don't understand and I start to sound crazy to anyone looking to listen or judge... I'm on my period and I'm practically anemic, so the withdraws are definitely just the cherry on top aren't they? I do my best late at night... I forgot to take a pill to wean myself off of and it was so bad. The last few days I took 3 then took the risk of 2 but managed to take 1 and live... maybe I can handle the pains if I sleep more. I don't feel like I have a reason to live, so maybe sleeping will help me catch up. I'm hungry.... I didn't think I'd write this much... or anything at all. I am thankful for this forum... thankful so many can submit stories to compare. I was an ugly child, but I was somewhat smarter than most when it came to random things. I think the fact there were too many people in the room made it harder to learn. It's hard to be a tomboy and a partial nerd when the boys want to touch you. When did becoming promiscuous get so easy? If I could take it all back, I would have stayed smart... but there were too many distractions. I think the drugs helped me even hear better and that made them so easy to take. Maybe the absence of them will influence a loss in this extra 40 pounds I carry. Maybe all of my problems were unknown withdraws from each and every new miracle drug. I smoke my weed to help me remember... I know some may disagree - but I am already damaged and I only reap the benefits. The ability to feel hunger... I only feel it when I'm starving and it's too late. Where do I go from here? I've been checked into the psychward as an adolescent many moons ago... I'm in my 20s and I don't want to be stuck there, and without my little kitty. He purrs when I cry, and makes everything okay. I even considered joining the army because I didn't mind dying, but I could never survive the time away. I think I will be okay in time... I hope it doesn't get too hard. I haven't taken any specific pill consistently, so I'm unsure of what to compare - and the doctor doesn't even know what she's giving me anymore. Oh. You're hurting? There's a drug for that. Let me write you something. Sorry for the rant. Thanks for listening... Good vibes only, please. I used to be so quick to judge and assume people want to yell DEPRESSED because it's trendy... when the 20 something years of pain is something I'd never wish on my worst enemy... I know the difference now, and all I want to do is help people. My problem is all I do is help everyone else and I'm left to pick up my own pieces that I didn't know were missing in the process.
  13. I apologize in advance for the topic. It is like beating a dead horse discussing this, I swear. Was getting pretty upset this morning going through the comments section of a video on youtube discussing the common side effects associated with antidepressants. So many people on there singing the praises of these drugs. Crediting them with saving their lives. I have several family members that still, even after witnessing what I went through (which would have scared me into questioning the legitimacy of psychiatric claims if I had been on the outside looking in) still insist that they have a "condition" that requires drugs to treat. The comments section was filled with people saying that claims of antidepressants causing an increase in violent behavior is pseudoscience, and that the drugs help far more often than they harm. The only way to see is to know, evidently. Shames me to think that I used to be one of them. Ignorant and hopeful. Wouldn't be on this site today if not for my trusting of these drugs and those that prescribed them to me. I know I can do nothing. I realize that it is a complete waste of my time and energy to become upset over something that I will never have any influence over. Still, I am filled with rage thinking of everyone on here, everyone around the world that has had their life stolen in one way or another thanks to this aggressive and lethal "answer" to emotional upsets. Our stories will be buried somewhat in the void of disbelief. We are thought of as crazy, our experiences as anomalies, or as merely craving attention and lying for the sake of it. I feel defeated, and somewhat alone.
  14. Did you see that yesterday the electronic version of the New York Times had a front page article on the difficulties of antidepressants withdrawal? I thought it might mention a new resource, my book ‘Understanding Antidepressants’. I’ve presented the science behind how antidepressants work, their possible benefits, drawbacks (notably withdrawal), and alternatives. It’s available on Amazon. My hope is that is will be a good source of information. Would appreciate your feedback and suggestions for future editions. Link is: https://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Antidepressants-Wallace-B-Mendelson-ebook/dp/B07B4GWKSN/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1520279221&sr=1-1&keywords=Understanding+antidepressants&dpID=51CRhuvoM8L&preST=_SY445_QL70_&dpSrc=srchl I’d also like to learn from you, am looking forward to reading about your experiences.
  15. sadandconfused

    Positive stories?

    Hello everyone, I'm doing decent with the withdrawal, better than I was anyway. I was wondering if anyone could give me some positive stories about getting their feelings back for their partner or just recovering from ssris in general? I'm feeling a little discouraged again, it's been going on two years since my feelings changed for my boyfriend after quitting Lexapro cold turkey. I guess I'm just wondering what I should be expecting? Is the hardest part over or will it still be awhile before I'm me again? We're definitely better than we were but I want so bad to go back to the way we were. I loved him more than anything and two years of feeling nothing is just so hard.
  16. Hello everybody, First I would like to say that I am new here and hope to be able to contribute well in this forum. I apologize for any grammatical mistakes, I myself come from Germany and translate most via google. Now my story: (please read it, I'll try to be brief) I've been dealing with genital numbness long before I've ever taken a psychotropic drug. I have had pronounced depression and anxiety since around 2012. My first antidepressant was fluoxetine, which I gave myself in the summer of 2015. I loved it at first: it did not make me feel negative things so strong but I was not a "zombie". It also seemed to improve my genital numbness, all worked fine. In conjunction with alcohol, it gave me a wonderful, light feeling that I will never forget. In the spring of 2016, I switched to fluvoxamine, as fluoxetine barely helped me against anxiety, and the effect seemed to be abating in general. I call it about a year until the spring of 2017. Since this also only weakly helped against fears, and also hardly any effect, I put it off. A few days later, I got genital feeling numbness, but at the time I still had a girl and a strong libido. I first came across PSSD but thought maybe my depression just came back and PSSD is a scientific hyphenation. The numbness improved fortunately within 2-3 months, at the end of the year my libido and feeling was more intense than ever. All I had to do was look at a woman's back and was excited. My experience with drugs was rather positive until then. Now comes the misery: In a clinic (where my libido was so good) I had Trazodone prescribed. I had constant sleep disturbances and fears, depression was well under control. I took 100 mg for one week, I got restless legs syndrome and could hardly sleep. My libido was fast in the basement, as I've never known it in my life. I did not know sexual discomfort until then. I still could get an erection, but orgasm was not so intense and my sperm was waterier than usual. I thought (unfortunately) I let the drug adjust something to my system. From the second week on was dosed to 200 mg, I was finally able to sleep. But I became so dizzy and generally uncomfortable with Trazodone. I really felt like a zombie, almost remotely controlled. It felt like acid was eating through my spine, as soon as I took the pills on my tongue she became numb. I also got spontaneous erections, but when I tried to do it on purpose, it barely worked. So I set off Trazodone after 9 days (7 * 100mg, 2 * 200mg). My worst nightmare came true: I got genital numbness, my libido just did not return. I also noticed an emotional numbness. Now I know that PSSD really exists. I hate myself for getting myself into these pills again. All I wanted to do was sleep again and not have any constant anxiety attacks anymore. The withdraw is now soon 3 months ago. I still have almost no libido, and genital numbness. Also sometimes testicular pain. I feel cold and warmth, and pain, but hardly any normal touch. I tried St. John's Wort with Ginkgo and Maca, I had some emotional and libido windows but I stopped because my d*ck went more numb. Now I'm taking chlorella, curcumin, green tea and maca. Sometimes I feel something like arousal again, but it's hardly fun because it feels so numb. I sometimes have brain zaps too, is that a good sign? I want my life back I never thought that my life would be so changed by 11 stupid pills from ******* pahrma mafia. regards
  17. Last summer, after I quit the last antidepressant (after 7 years of antidepressants and anxiolytics) under the guidance of my former psychiatrist, I started rapidly to develop old and new symptoms. I tried to resist but in two months time I fell into the abyss of withdrawal, without knowing what was happening to me. I went back to my psychiatrist who not only did not recognize or mention the withdrawal status, but prescribed new drugs that didn't help and made things worse, like paroxetine. I was lost and fearfully sick, I lost 3 kilos in one week, then I contacted another psychiatrist who still didn't say a word about withrdrawal but prescribed benzodiazepines that immediately reduced the symptoms. Then he added two antidepressants and diagnosed "major depression, relapse". I was in shock. I tried to explain that my initial and main problem were anxiety and panic but he said thet it was all part of the depressive state. As soon as we tried to reduce anxiolytics the symptoms burst out again. That's when something clicked in my head. I searched the Internet for weeks to find someone who could help me out of the maze, and fortunately I did. Now I'm following a program to eliminate antidepressants under strict medical a psychological control, and I feel confident. Psychiatrists in Italy never talk about the risk of withdrawal symptoms, turning people into lifetime patients. I was lucky enough, being a psychologist and speaking English to be able to find the help I needed, but most people go on taking more and more drugs that work less and less. The site people can refer to in Italy is: https://www.smettereglipsicofarmaci.unifi.it/index.php (University of Florence).
  18. Hi, I’m not sure if this topic already exists somewhere else on the site. I have been recovering from protracted antidepressant withdrawl for some time now which has caused me to have to step down from a very stressful nursing position. I have been going to therapy and walking dogs for a little while now, but I feel like it’s time for me to take the next step. I need a stable paycheck and need to find something that isn’t as stressful as managing 5 acute post op patients, but is more involved than walking dogs. Any suggestions? I have my bachelors degree in nursing. I don’t want to push myself too much because I’ve already been through the devastating experience of crashing and burning at the hospital during acute withdrawl. However at the same time, I think that I can handle a lot more than my brain thinks that it can handle, if that’s makes sense. I would love to hear what has worked for people.
  19. Hi, where do I start? I am in desperate need of help with tapering my Mom off of a variety of meds. So here is our story... We are originally from London, we now live in South Africa. I mam 46 and Mom is 66, I have a son who is 14 and we now share a rented house. My Dad died March 2016. This caused huge emotional trauma for my Mom as you can imagine. My Gran in the UK then became sick so Mom flew over to help (not ideal when you are going through grief and already not coping on a day to day basis, her world had been crushed in one night) So, she went to the UK and it was hard to cope with my Gran being so ill, my Mom had a breakdown, she ended up in a Psychiatric unit (admitted herself) after becoming addicted to Alzam (benzo). She originally was prescribed these here in SA years ago to manage anxiety and panic attacks. Once the emotional stress hit she started taking them more and more each day until she tried to stop, cut them down on her own and that is when the trouble and side effects started. She then went into the Psych unit in the UK. They then put her on to another type of benzo Diazepam, Olanzapine, Mirtazpine and she is also on heart and blood thinners. Once she came out she was not much better, I managed to get her on a flight and back to SA. 2 month later she just got worse, the local Dr and team tried to taper her off of the Diazepam but she is not good with the withdrawal symptoms. After many Drs, therapists, advice, research and suffering alot at home (for all of us) I checked her into a very expensive rehab here. 28 day program. She is now on: Circadin, Trepiline, Rivotril, Solian and heart and blood thinners. The program did not work, the rehab and getting her off the benzos and antipsychotics did not work. What I need advice, help with from anyone is what now? The cost of the rehab was thousands.... Her current state is anxiety all the time, her eyes are large and she looks constantly in fear or amazement, delayed speech, confusion, short term memory is bad, long term not great either, no energy, out of breath, so her quality of life is dismal. She does not go out and has a 'cannot be bothered attitude towards much of life, she lost 17 kg and looks anorexic, she eats but does not put on weight. I would love to look at tapering but just do not know which one to start with? How much and obviously with her it would need to be slow. Can one start to reduce the antipsychotic first? I know Benzos are highly addictive and Rivotril is one! Can anyone help?
  20. I am at such a low point because of my moms obsession with me taking medication. Any time I get remotely upset about anything she immediately asks if I'm "taking my meds". Her harassment is what's pushing me in to depression and no amount of words make her understand what a piece of garbage she makes me feel when she consistently invalidates me. I can never be anything but happy or I'm crazy to her.
  21. scumoftheearth

    Is there hope?

    Hello all, Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I don't know if there is any hope left for me and my ex-boyfriend. We were together for three years, and we went through a lot of good and bad things of course. We were also doing a LDR, and as such it was hard to see each other often. But when we did see each other, it was the most amazing times. My ex used to be so full of love, care, empathy, kindness and reason. He was diagnosed with some form of depression, and then he started to take the pills (sorry I don't remember which). Shortly after he began taking them, we actually broke up over some stupid things we would usually just work over. Now, he has changed into a completely different person. He is cold, hostile, and really short with me. I understand that I am his ex, but he wouldn't treat me that way ever before. He told me he stops caring about everything, including me. Then he began to blame me for everything and he said he has regret and resentment for me. I believe the doctor was lowering the doses gradually, I believe halving it each week. Then yesterday he said that he was completely off of it. And I am not sure if he will return back to the same person he once was? He was having many severe mood swings, but one thing always was clear was that he didn't want to be with me at that moment. He says he missed me physically, but not emotionally. I am not sure what to think about that. Then he keeps wanting to cut off contact with me, I believe the only reason why he's let me text him is because I beg him to let me know updates about his mental health. The antidepressants definitely ruined our relationship. And I am wondering once he is off... Will he return back to the same person he once was before taking them? It appears that he has lost his attachments to me, our amazing memories and it kills me.
  22. A live interview last night about PSSD awareness on Juliemadblogger Radio. It has been recorded and widely available for free on demand at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/juliemadblogger/2017/10/22/guest-from-uk-pssd-sexual-dysfunction-from-psychiatric-drugs You can also download the mp3 version that can be listened to offline by clicking the download icon at the top too... (top right) Please share and distribute as widely as possible on social media and websites. And help spread PSSD Awareness.
  23. Hello, I was diagnosed with fibro in 1994. I was just diagnosed by a rheumatologist with CSS - central sensitivity syndrome. A central nervous system disease/disorder that makes people hypersensitive to almost everything. Here are two studies that might be of interest: Fibromyalgia and Overlapping Disorders: The Unifying Concept of Central Sensitivity Syndromes by Muhammad B Yunus, MD -also: clinical review and education- JAMA April 16, 2014 volume 311, number 15 - Fibromyalgia A Clinical Review by Daniel J Clauw, MD. These articles show how the central nervous system plays a huge role in why so many of us have fibromyalgia CFS/ME, MCS-Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, etc. This explains why I've had so much trouble with antidepressants, benzodiazepines, and withdrawals, along with so many other physical and emotional symptoms
  24. I don't profess to know what it's like to live with anxiety, depression, or "medically diagnosed psychosis" in any form. Nor have I experienced the brain numbing side effects of the so called "Happy Pills" that are dished out like lollies to children and adults alike. And now Babies are the next largest growing market for these personality fixers. I live on the "Otherside". Firstly, I am the Mother, who against all pleading, and arguing with Doctor's (of all ranks) to not put my then "coming of a Meth Addiction" Son, onto Anxiety medication, was ignored. We are the people who stand by and watch as our loved one's fall apart slowly, in front of our eyes. The one's who are powerless to help and to fix it, because we are "out ranked" by the people who are supposed to know what is best. What I have done, is make it my life's work to understand Addiction and Anxiety - including coming off of these debilitating drugs and what happens within the brain from an unconscious, neuroscience and being in control of yourself perspective. I found this site because I too was looking for some answers on "cold turkey withdrawal". My Son decided to go cold turkey off of his Antidepressants 3 1/2 weeks ago. His decision? because he was sick of the night terrors, cold sweats and feeling like he was constantly in a fog. He asked me to help in my professional capacity and together we got through the hard parts. He still has a way to go, and I am not recommending going "cold turkey" However, what I can say is this: There IS clarity at the end of that foggy tunnel, allow your mind and body to adjust to this new drug free you. It will take sometime, it will happen. I am here to lend support just like all of the other amazing people in this forum . If I am able to support you by giving you any tools that will assist you. I will. Here is something I would like to share with you; You don't need to be strong. Realise, really understand and see, just how self empowered you have become, by being on this journey. And that you are absolutely AWESOME!!!! In those moments of doubt and grayness, give yourself permission to acknowledge just how amazing you are. You have come this far, keep going! xx
  25. Hi all!iam new to this site also new on antipsycotics. i believe you do great work about helping people from what i saw until now and i would like to say my problem to see if someone has experienced it and how can i possible deal with it.ok lets start recently my mother had an appoinment with her psyc doctor about me to talk about some issues.the days before that i did a minimun dose of MDMA .when i was on the docs office i started feeling fear and i said to him everything about what drugs i tried in the past.i was unable to conCetrate or talk normally i was feeling intense fear and panic for something bad will happen.the doctor said that iam on a psycosis episode and he told my mother that he needs to hospitalize me and to investigate what is happening to me.he prescribed me zyprexa about 10mg a day and after 3 days i went in to start the "therapy".the 1st days was ok the doctors was asking me things (for only 15-20 min a day) and i was really thinking that is a way to do good to myself cause i didnt knew. now the bad part begins. in day 10-12 on zyprexa i noticed changes in my breast start to grow but i didnt gave so much weight cause i was eating like a beast.then i started feeling like i could not have sex at all.i said these things to doctors and they were like "oh you might have that but they will go away".then i asked to stop the "therapy" but the doctor said he can not let me go out cause he thought i have an episode or something.my mother agreed and they kept me 5 more days in against my will.i refused to take anymore the zyprexa pill so they convinced me to take invega instead for 3 days.i took it cause i was something weird was goin on inside my head and i was convinced i need the pill cause iam mentally ill.anyway from that day i knew that keeping me in against my will and giving meds is illegal and the only thing i want was to go out and stop the pills(extremely difficult).at least i did it i went out of there but on the 17 day with a lot of pressure SO it might be a short time(21 days zyprexa and invega)taking that pills but i noticed these symptoms and i want your help (ITS BEEN A MONTH IAM OUT OF THESE DRUGS )BUT STILL HAVE THOSE SYMPTOMS my breast grew (not noticable from others but i believe that is the start of man boob thing) i have no libido lack of motivation lack of concentration anhedonia muscle stiffness some tremors on muscle still anhedonia depression more than ever feeling like a zombie lying in a bed all day suicidal thinking i want you to focus on the breast enlargement (man boob thing) and and the sexual dusfuntion am i have to be like this forever?anyone had gone through it ? also i have to say that i did hormonal test and my prolactin levels was back to normal and the testosterone levels was good too but my breast is still bigger and my libido and my sex drive is still messed up. i now that is not a serious thing to talk about but i need help and iam despaired i dont know what to do my parents and doctors dont believe me about all these things. also dont forget to say iam a mucisian iam playing drums and have a lot of interest on sports like skate and football.its like i lost my skills my interest i cant listen to music like i did and i cerntailny believe my legs are damaged due to the movement disorders now iam stucked in home crying and do nothing only searcing for other cases like me to reliefe the pain HELP I THINK MY LIFE SCREWED FOR EVER NOT LOVE MY SELFE ANYMORE ETC AND ALL THAT FOR 20 DAYS thank you for listening me
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