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  1. Good Day, I wish I could say that my withdrawal symptoms from quitting Lexapro are the worst, but quitting Xanax takes that title. I have been off Xanax for two years and six months. The first day was the worst, the first year was the worst, and I am not feeling any Xanax issues now except waking up in a cold sweat every night since 2014. Anyway, I have not looked back or taken Xanax ever again. During that entire ordeal, I was still on Lexapro. I didn't quit it also because I didn't want to do too much at once. I finally quit Lexapro on the 25th of Dec 2016. Side note: To help me quit Xanax, I was put on Seroquel and Neurontin at rehab, and I gained 20kgs in 6 months which I am still trying to lose. I have lost half of it, but for some reason, my metabolism is no longer the same. I can't lose weight after rehab. I quit Seroquel cold turkey and tapered off Nuerontin. I took it for about six months and stopped when the weight piled on. Back to why I am here: The first month after quitting Lexapro was alright. Just brain zaps and nothing else really. I thought, "Wow! Quitting these antidepressants is very easy! I should have done it earlier." I was basing my experience on Xanax, which is harder at the beginning and easier with time. I didn't expect things to begin falling apart later, and boy are they falling apart. Month two drug free was also not too bad, but it was filled with episodes of sadness. Month three became worse than month two, and I felt withdrawn and my lust for life started disappearing again. Month four was worse than month three and I felt myself losing more joy, being darker than I have ever been. Month five, my current situation, is a hot mess! My anxiety is back, my depression is back, and actually they are back and worse than ever. My obsessive thoughts are back. Oh, and my sexual urges are back, after years of thinking that I might be asexual. The problem is, my sexual urges are disconnected from my emotions, so as horny as I am, I still don't feel like having sex with my husband, and the whole thing is making me panic for several reasons. My insomnia is back. I am weepy and frustrated. My pessimism is back. I hate life right now. My face is braking out and for this last week, I have been unable to eat so I also feel awful due to that, I am sure. I could go on for days about how awful I feel right now. I have not left bed for a week! I have made music though. Actually, I started having the urge and will to create music around month 3 of quitting. Before that, I though I would never make music again. So, there are pros and cons to this quitting, more cons than pros though, currently. I was thinking of going back on Lexapro when I happened on this website. I have now changed my mind. I thought I was just getting worse and worse until I end up committing suicide, however from the posts I have read, it gets better apparently, and none of my torture is unusual. I was suppose to start a family this year but now I have doubts. I would wait a year but I am 35 in three months so... I am taking, and have been for over a year, Magnesium (a high dose), Iron Fumarate (I have severe anemia), Vitamin C (a very high dose), Probiotics, L-Theanine, Vitamin B Complex and Vitamin B12 on top, 5HTP and Valerian, camomile tea when I have the strength to make it. Mood: Very Blue. Like in the pic.
  2. ADMIN NOTE Also see: Emotional numbness on and off drugs Creating a new self after withdrawal Post by BrassMonkey How many of you, apart from the whole gamut of other symptoms, are suffering from emotional numbness as of present? How does it manifest in your case?
  3. Hi everyone. I wonder if anyone could tell me how long it took to get your emotions/sexuality back after stopping ssris. I’m currently 17 months off sertraline and I’ve seen windows of my emotions returning, but for the most part I’m constantly empty, flat and anhedonic. I’ve been suicidal because of both this and pssd, which go hand in hand. I can’t live like this. I took the drug for 16 months in case anyone is wondering. I’m hoping someone can give me some information about when their emotions started to come back. Or, if you are 10 years out and you still have anhedonia (just like I know quite a few people who are 15-20 years off SSRIs and have both PSSD and anhedonia), do tell, because that’s useful information too. I just really want to know what I’m dealing with here.
  4. Anyone know how to distinguish between amotivational syndrome while on SSRIs vs. poop out—especially in atypical depression? I've always suffered from atypical depression, with fatigue and loss of motivation being key symptoms during depression episodes. SSRIs helped even me out emotionally, but they never did much for my energy levels which was always my main complaint (and in fact, looking back, I think they contributed to my fatigue and lack of vitality). Now I'm considering the last 3 or so years I was on Prozac. I came off it mainly because I wanted to get pregnant, but also I knew the pills simply weren't helping me. I work from home, and was doing all of it from bed. I had no motivation to pursue creative hobbies that I used to love or to get out with friends. Plus, I had zero energy. I let my house get out of control. I just didn't seem to care about anything—even my career, despite the fact that I've always been ambitious. I wasn't depressed. There were no feelings of hopelessness or sadness. Nothing really bothered me. My husband said it felt like I was in my own closed off dream world. Now that I'm dealing with withdrawal, it's the complete opposite. Before, I didn't have a care in the world (although I should have), and now I'm anxious about everything! It's like I'm finally awake to my life, but now I'm overreacting to everything to the point that I'm such a mess I can't do anything constructive! I think what I experienced on the last years on the meds sounds like amotivational syndrome. But some of the symptoms of that overlap with atypical depression. So is it possible that, instead, I was suffering from SSRI tolerance or poop-out? How do I tell the difference? I wonder, because amotivational syndrome is supposed to go away when you take away the drug. But if it was due to poop-out, I'm wondering how that might effect what I can expect in withdrawal.
  5. My apathy and inability to care about anything makes me too docile and easily abused by others. I have always been a nice guy, the kind of guy that seems easily abused, but I have always had enough self-love to stop people abusing me, like whenever I saw that someone was socially abusing me in whatever, I knew how to defend myself. I had something inside me to prevent me from being abused. Now the prozac-induced apathy/indifference has made me very very easy to abuse, because I just don't care. Yesterday I was with my friends, and I noticed that I was paying more than them for a shared dinner, and that is something that I would have been pissed off in the past, but yesterday I simply didn't care and I just paid more. Also, some of my friends tend to be a bit abusive sometimes to get what they want. Yesterday one of my friends liked one good-looking girl that we didn't know and he told me to go there and talk to her and then introduce him to her, because he didn't dare to go alone. That's something that I wouldn't do so easily, because I know he wouldn't do that for me, but yesterday I went there and introduced that beautiful girl to him because I just didn't care. The girl liked me more than him and wanted to talk with me (I am more attractive than him, sorry if I sound arrogant, but its just true) but I let them talking alone because I didn't care. If I didn't get paid in a part-time job that I am doing now while finishing my university degree, I wouldn't care. Someone could come and steal me my almost done engineering university degree and I probably wouldn't care neither. Someone could insult me, or said to me absolutely whatever without making me feel bad. He could even punch me in the face, and I think I wouldn't care at all. If I knew for sure that this is temporary and that in for example 6 months I will regain my ability to care, then it would be ok. But I just don't want to stay like this forever
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