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  1. Hello fellow travelers, I am a recovering user of many psychotropic prescriptions (which I at first thought were good for me). After finally being able to taper off and learning much more, I've revised my thinking a bit: about the drugs, about the doctors, about the medical profession in general and about what I can reasonably be certain is healthy. I've got pretty decent working knowledge of psychotropics now, but still have much to learn. I have read the Ashton Manual, a few scholarly articles by people like Guy Chouinard, and have some experience helping people with withdrawal and post-withdrawal. I also have a bit of an interest in general medicine. Drugs taken include: Remeron, Effexor, Clonazepam, Triazolam, Escitalopram, too much Olanzapine and a few other compounds with varying levels of harm. I am now around two years post-withdrawal of Clonazepam, having begun my odyssey taking amitryptaline for sleep, and am still recovering from extreme insomnia, gastro problems and general fatigue. I can't really say it was worth it, but you live and you learn.
  2. It all started after a 10 day meditation course 4 years back.At the end of the course i had euphoria and a bit of delusion.But in a few days i was settling down but i was forcefully taken by my brother who never was polite with me from childhood, to a psychiatric hospital where they started me on oral antipsychotics. As i was not tolerating them i wasn't taking them regularly which i disclosed to my doctor who gave me option of an injectible which i think was inj paliperidone. Stupidly ,i agreed to it.All hell broke loose that night,i was in the dumps,nobody attended to my situation.I never wanted to take that any more but after a day my doctor said i had to repeat that injection ,which when i refused ,they threatened to give it forcefully,so i accepted that injection.Life was a down hill from that time onwards.I was discharged from that hospital after a month with no proper instruction.i was living in hell for the next 6months. Was it the effect of the injection or its withdrawal i dont know.After 6 months of hell i was reffered to another psychiatrist who started me on sodium valproate 1500mg,olanzipine 5mg,clonazepam 5mg and escitolopram 10mg.In the mean time i had to hold on to my job which required constant alertness.I have gradually tapered sodium valproate to 300mg ,tapered and stopped clonazepam following the Ashton manual,tapered and stopped escitolopram on my own.I am now left with 5mgs of olanzepine.Around that time i came across the works of Dr Peter Breggin and i was convinced to stop olanzepine to over come the battery of side effects of olanzepine which was pure hell.About the same time i came across SurvivingAntidepressants web forum.I convinced my psychiatrist to taper olanzepine,who asked me to reduce by 50%. However i will be tapering by 10% of the previous dose method from 1st nov 2019.You guys at SA are doing a marvellous job,hats off to all of you.My sincere prayers to all those trying to taper of psychiatric medications,wishing everyone a safe and successful journey.I too need a lot of support and wishes from all of you.My wife has been very supportive and understanding .She has agreed to stand by me during my olanzepine taper which may take a couple of years. Will i be myself after the taper?Will my personality ever come back which is in ruins right now? will i be able to thinking clearly?Will the anhedonia go away?Will i be able to feel again?During the process of tapering olanzepine i need to hold on to my job which requires constant alertness,and take care of my family at the same time.Will i be able to?
  3. Matt Samet's book about his ordeal, Death Grip, will be published in February by St. Martin's Press. At 7 years, he is fully recovered. See his article http://www.madinamerica.com/2012/12/the-other-side/
  4. Hello I always wanted to return to the site and thank all that helped me in the dark hours and also the forum owner and originator for the tireless work that has helped so many people Heres my thread when I first asked for help http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6865-andy-hello-tapering-from-zyprexa/ I wont go into how I finally quit the drug because it wasnt the normal 10% approach although I tried 5 times and failed miserably.I found a good understanding doctor who helped me reduce and more than anything listened to me without prejudice.This helped enormously,I finally jumped off at 1.25mg and to be honest it wasnt to bad,by far the worst reduction was going just under 2.5mg,I had severe migraines ,nausea,heart palpitations,sickness,depression,mania,mood swings and relentless insomnia.The insomnia was by far the worst symptom as it made me anxious and very irritable ,all this while trying to be a good father and holding down a very stressful and demanding job.Of all the drugs I was put on Zyprexa was the hardest to quit,it was hell and back but it can be done I have recently started my Taekwondo training again that I practiced for over 15 years but couldnt while I was on this terrible drug,I now feel calmer and sleep well.I put on over 3 stone while on zyprexa even though I ate a well balanced diet,I felt lethargic and had no interest in life,that has all changed and the weight is coming off steadily. Excercise has been the most helpful tonic for me and even when I had had zero sleep I went to my class and worked out.It slowly but steadily improved my sleep and made me feel confident again that I could get over all of this,when you start to see improvements you start to see light at the end of the tunnel Things are heading in the right direction and my outlook on life is positive once again.I feel good Once again thankyou for all your help and for people just starting the journey dont ever give in it can be done,god bless you all Andy
  5. I am posting this basically as an introduction to my situation and perhaps just to find some sort of support or encouragement from the excellent people here. After being on a myriad of psychiatric medication for 13 years, I discovered the untold dangers of these drugs when I started feeling that they were taking a toll on my normal functioning and cognition. I spent most of these years going back and forth from one drug to another, in varying doses (see my use history below). I was never really able to identify withdrawal symptoms when coming off some of the drugs (despite the fact that several were fast tapered) apart from my withdrawal from Xanax, Valium and most lately, Fluoxetine. I had no idea about proper tapering until discovering this forum. Currently, I am a psychological mess who is on a cocktail of drugs and about to enter a psychiatric hospital for the fourth time. The past two weeks have been a hellish experience: unbearable anxiety and depression, an inability to think clearly or perform everyday tasks, complete loss of appetite, inability to converse with people, anhedonia, disrupted sleep, poorer coordination, of and alcohol misuse to numb the pain, to mention a few. During the past few months, I have simply been looking forward to night time, when I can take my 150mg of Trazodone and 10mg of Zolpidem to feel relief from it all. Unfortunately, the past few nights have seen me increasing the dosage of these drugs. Yesterday morning, I started straight back on 20mg of Fluoxetine (again, I had no idea about the possible kindling effect until I happened to come across it later in the day). After switching drugs several times and stopping and starting, I can only imagine that I am certainly susceptible to this effect? Tonight, I found myself awake after only 1 hour of sleep, despite taking 10mg Zolpidem and 250mg Trazodone. My nervous system feels overexcited (I am thinking probably from the reinstatement of the Fluoxetine?) and with the terrible restlessness this brought I found myself taking another 10mg Zolpidem to try and knock me out. It has not helped and I am still wide awake. I realise that increasing the dosages of these drugs is a recipe for long-term disaster but the pain is horrendous. I know that tomorrow, when I get into the hospital, I will most likely meet a new psychiatrist who will be the same as most of the rest and want to increase dosages or rapidly switch things up. I will let her know that this is not the route I want to take and hope that she is informed and empathetic to my concerns. I have a deep sense of hopelessness at my situation right now and feel completely trapped. At the same time, I don't feel like I am ticking any of the right boxes to be able to taper down. So my thinking is that the first step needs to be restarting on the lowest dose of fluoxetine (here in South Africa I believe this is only available at 10mg) in order to try and 'stabilise' the reinstatement and possibly get back into productivity that will allow me to save my very valued job and relationships. Of course, my biggest concern is that I have dosed highly on the Trazodone and Zolpidem for the past three nights, and that alcohol has also played an insidious role in my life for the past few months. In addition, I had ketamine infusions in December due to thoughts of ending all the pain, so this further complicates this terrifying situation. I truly want to be off the drugs and other treatments but I realise that my case is particularly complicated and I don't know how to go about solving it. Any thoughts and observations would be deeply appreciated. 2008 - Escitalopram 20mg2009 - 2011 Epitec 200 mg (fast tapered, no noticeable WD symptoms) and Seroquel 200 mg (fast tapered, no noticeable WD symptoms).2012 - 2019 Intermittent use of Escitalopram 20mg. Prescribed Xanax 1mg for anxiety in 2018. Was on them for 2 years. Developed tolerance, cravings and withdrawal when attempting to stop. Tapered off with Valium bridge in 2021. Fast tapered off Valium after six weeks. 2020 - Trazodone 150 mg and 10mg Zolpidem nightly (still taking). 2021 - Fluoxetine 20 mg (fast tapered, experiencing delayed withdrawal six weeks later). IV Ketamine infusions for debilitating depression. 2022 - more frequent overuse of Trazodone and Zolpidem, together with alcohol. Reinstatement of 20 mg Fluoxetine caused insomnia and akithesia on night 1. Supplements: Vitamin B Complex; Magnesium Glycinate; Vitamin C; Lions Mane Mushrooms; Omega 3.
  6. Acsr Hi ! Thank for having me! Hi have a question for you since I’m don’t know what to do and nobody believes me . So, I was on Protheadene 75mg ( for 2 years) and still on 0,5 ( maxolazan-sedoxil) and 50 mg of quietipine. I was doing really well so I decided to win off my antidepressant, very slowly 7 months tapering, and my last dose was on 1st November. I got a flu in the beginning of March and since then I’ve been experiencing diarrhea, morning fast heart beats, depression and extreme fatigue during my periods and after. Was very gradual and this month is has been awful. I went to see a funcional doctor who says my adrenals are depleted, that I’m hypo, no magnesium ferritin and C. And my gut is a mess, Candida and disbiose. My progesterone little low. so this is where I need help : Is this withdrawal from the antidepressant? is this benzo tolerance ? Can I take progesterone since my symptoms get really bad during and after my periods? can I take aminoácids? can I take tyroid meds ? what do you think? I just don’t want to mess up . Thank you very much!
  7. Hello, I'm new here. I have been run through the psychiatry mill for the past 22 years. I'm currently 44 and have been on SSRIs since I was 21. I have been tapering sertraline very slowly the past 3 years. Max dose was 100mg, I'm down to about 10mg. Wondering how low I should go? I am tapering clonazepam concurrently. That is some kind of fresh hell. Details in my signature, but long story short - I had a health crisis starting in about 2015. My balance went south, it felt like I was stepping on a trampoline randomly while walking. Dizziness, brain zaps, massive anxiety, TMJ pain, drumming in my ears, overwhelm, exhaustion. This lead to chronic fatigue symptoms, weight loss, SIBO, reactivated EBV. 6 years ago I was regularly running and doing triathlons, now I am so out of shape I get sore from basic life activities (walking). I have done lots of work to repair my gut with a FM nutritionist, I eat well, and have brought in small amounts of exercise. I think I'm on the upswing from this nightmare, but I am curious how low to go on sertraline before jumping off. When I drop my dose I get zappy, sore muscles, fatigue, rage (!!), and sweaty. Last drop was 1/4 of a 25mg tablet. Thanks!
  8. I pray I am doing this correctly. This may be a Trigger for some - read with caution .I am new and over the past 6 months , I have been trailed on 22 psyc meds for what they felt was OCD / Anxiety - now I am a mess beyond. A very quick explanation. 7 months ago I was perfectly normal . Happy, normal , living life ...all of that . Then out of the blue, I had a thought that was not so wonderful . I called my family doctor as well I didn't understand what was happening and he started me on Risperidone, Ativan ( 4 mg / day ,) and Annifril. I took one Risperidone, and had a panic attack and begun to hallucinatiate. I took one Annifril, and I stayed on the Benzo as he said it would help me with what he felt was anxiety for 5 months . I was switched to Coloasapm and then tappered off of Coloasapm - the dose was 1 mg , in 2 weeks .So in total 5 months on benzos - 2 week tapper . While on the benzos I began to truly hear my inner dialogue loudly . It literally took over my conscience mind - where as before it was background . I became hyper aware of my thoughts . I became terrified. I was getting thoughts that were not mine on any level - violent thoughts towards others and myself , commanding thoughts , an inner voice that spoke all day - still does to this day - racing , chatter , non stop - you name it .I am left with no peace at all , and a ' voice ' in my mind that most days does not even feel like mine. I have had days where I do not recognize myself in the mirror, fight with myself , and feel out of it. Anxious thoughts , scary thoughts , ..all day . Through the 6 months my conditioned worsened . I was then offered Rumeron, Olazipine, Zoloft , Prozac , Delantin , Valium , Coloasapm, Ambilify, Serequel , Pristique, Lyrica , Escatilapram and the list goes on and on . I did not know better as I have never taken medication before ....I just wanted to get better , yet I continue to get worse. Today , my thoughts are loud , repeat everything I read , non stop , highly intrusive , name calling , highly damaging , and it's like I am listening to my thoughts not as the generator, but the listener. They do not make sense. I am unable to process emotions , or an idea . Every single thought is anxiety driven , meaning I have extreme anxiety over any thought now - as I am Hyper Aware of everything in my mind . I can feel and tell I am listening ....I am sorry I do not know how to explain this ....it's like I am mediating , but unable to stop . I am stuck in my mind . I am unable to focus , watch tv - nothing. I am unable to nap without waking to a panic attack - and my ' doctor ' still wants to trial medication. My thoughts take over my entire thought process , and all I think about is my thinking , or intrusives , or this or that . I am no longer living . ..I am simply exsisting. This awareness is killing me . The intrusives are killing me . Non stop ....all day . I also have screaming , and crying in my mind , music , looping , and the exact same thoughts every day without cease. I have had sucidal thoughts - which is so not me !!! None of this is me !!! I know in my heart this is from the medication. Yes , I had one not so proper thought , but where I am today is a head full of loud intrusive thoughts. ...and a racing mind, and my thoughts are forefront , and never background anymore . Ever . Any assistance would be appreciated please. Any. I am clean of all medications now . Thank you ....
  9. Hi, all-- I am so grateful to have found this site. It is helpful to know that I'm not alone. This is my first post, I will try my best to be succinct. I'm a 42 y/o female. I've been on Zoloft for 12 years, anywhere from 50mg daily to 175mg. I'd say my average over the years is probably around 125mg daily. My signature has a breakdown of my history. I've also taken klonopin during this time, but I take it PRN as I have never agreed with the doc suggestions to take this med multiple times daily. So in terms of my average klonopin dosing, during acute anxiety or hospitalization I take it multiple times daily but otherwise I take it maybe once or twice a month (more or less). My pills are 0.5, but I have a sensitive system so I take one quarter of that or maybe a half. A full pill usually means I am heading into a major depressive episode or something pretty difficult is going on. I smoked marijuana for about 7 years, but had to stop that in July 2020 due to cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome (CHS). Lastly, I began a magnesium supplement around July 2020, and it has greatly helped with daily anxiety. The difference has been pronounced for me. For the past five/six years or so, I noticed that I occasionally got facial tics when I wake up in the morning. They were small, brief, and random, usually my jaw jiggling or shutting, or my eyes shutting closed due to my cheeks lifting. I thought it might be the Zoloft, but I didn't look into it too much. Well, now I've looked into it and I'm terrified. For the past 6 months, I'd say, the tics have started to happen during the course of the day and not just when I wake up in the morning. A couple of days ago, I was lying in bed and my throat/esophagus just started twitching up and down a few times-- that one was scary. I have an HMO, so I am in the process of seeking out a holistic psychiatrist on my own. I've seen the list on this site, that's been very helpful! I have a few questions for anyone that can help: In your experience, is it okay to have a long-distance psych? Does it make a difference? I'd rather see someone who knows what they're doing and is far, far away than someone close by who doesn't know or believe in patient-centered care. How might this hamper care? Do the TD symptoms indicate that I should follow a quicker taper? Or is this a matter of doing the 10% and then waiting/hoping that TD symptoms don't get worse? Can klonopin cause TD? I haven't seen anything about this, but I'd love to hear others' experiences. I will ask my psych the same thing, but are there any supplements that folks here recommend to help with the taper? I've tried tapering once before back in 2011-2013 (I thought I was tapering slowly, but given the info we have now I can see I was most definitely not going slowly. I was also following bad advice about taking my SSRI "every other day" to even out the amount of med in my bloodstream), and had what I now recognize to be an acute and quickly-manifesting depressive episode as a result of withdrawal. I understand that everyone's body is different, but any experiences with supplements is very welcome. Of course I am impatient to get off of this drug which could now be causing me a lot of harm. I have done loads and loads of work with therapists on my PTSD and depression, but the Zoloft did help me with that at the beginning, very much. I have so many conflicting feelings, but fear overrides them all because I would very much love to retain my ability to swallow and chew voluntarily (the cosmetic fears are also there, but to a lesser degree). I am a Buddhist and humanist and practice daily in one way or another, but as I'm sure many of us know a strong depression can and will obliterate reason, faith, belief, you name it. Thankfully I have a wife who shares my beliefs, and she is a rock. Thank you so much for any help. I am terrified of this journey, but I am very heartened that at least I have others to share it with.
  10. Hello all, I finished my 4 month benzo taper in April 2019 after 1 year of taking it as prescribed . I had developed interdose withdrawal and tolerance to benzos and didn't know what it was at the time. After finally figuring out what was going on, I figured out how to taper. I was also floxed with Cipro while in tolerance from benzos. It was absolute hell, and I can't believe it did it. Determined to be off of all medications, I started to taper off of Prozac and Mirtazapine. I went too fast initially, and now I'm really suffering. I'm going to hold until I stabilize. I would appreciate any advice from anyone else who has been polydrugged. I know I need to go slow- 10% a month. Do I finish the Prozac taper first and then work on the Mirtz? Thanks in advance for your help!!
  11. Currently trying to withdraw from Valium and really struggling with anxiety. I'm down at 5.62mgs.I'm doing a daily micro taper which is getting ridiculously slow. Started taking 10 mgs of Citralopram about 4 months to pick me up and help me with anxiety. It's does nothing though when Valium withdrawal hits. Wondering should I quit it as I don't want to get hooked on another drug? Can I quit it now as I'm on Valium? If so how do I go about it? Is there anything else that helps with anxiety?
  12. Hi new here Got tired of the BenzoBuddy board, just felt like I didn't belong there...trying this-I'm a MadinAmerica fan, and have read about this forum there. Today is the beginning of month 6 off 0.5mg of Kloncide which I took for 10 years about...I did experience K withdrawal when I was given it while insitutionalized in 2001-I went to jail for 4 months for trying to get away from my estranged abusive husband...I took the kids, who were my life, and fled to Canada believing that there was sactuary there. My mistake. I might also mention I was taking Paxil during that time; looking back I wonder if this played any part in my decision making. My ex was able to take the kids, the house(s) the business, EVERYthing after I served him divorce papers after years of psychological and, ultimately, physical abuse by using the Domestic Violence Prevention Act. He had a good liar (lawyer) and I had zilch. I was working as an RN at the time, and the sheriff came and served me with the papers initiating the above while at work. He hadn't had a job in 30 years; we survived on a small nursery business and he grew a small amount of marijuana for sale...we lived as a family of 5 on about 500 dollars a month. He is an alcoholic...I don't know what I was thinking except he was charming and very intelligent. He was pals with all the liars in town and the judge-our land partner was the head of legal aid in our county. I had no money for a lawyer, and LA wouldn't help because the considered it a conflict of interest. Anyhoo...my now young adult children are loyal to him...they think I'm a whiner, and now that I'm having this withdrawal experience, they can't/aren't able to understand my position. I have pressured them for support, and they just can't do it. I am alone in this...I eventually went on SSI due to encounters with the mental death system-I'm bipolar, they said, and will have to take meds for life. I've taken so many meds that the last 15 years are a blur...my first AD was prescribed when I became suicidal after the birth of my youngest son. It's been a wild ride since then. I have a handful of friends who love me and support me as best they can. I had to quit my part-time job due to the benzo rage, the d/p and d/r the agoraphobia. I sometimes have difficulty paying for food at the end of the month. I got frustrated on the BB site due to all the suggestions for suppements and DVDs and youtubes and therapy, right...every-freeking-thing costs money. I don't have an internet connection so use the leaky wi-fi in my neighborhood when available. I have a small container garden that is my one small bright spot. I live in a beautiful place but it is overrun with 'ganstas' who ruin the environment with their greed for $$$. I live in the marijuana capitol of the country...and that is all there is here...very little going on socially or very little organizing for the future. It's all about money and big diesel trucks and trips to Thailand... I've lost much empathy (see above) I am so judgemental...I screen people carefully before letting them into my life. My symptoms right this moment are agoraphobia, major major insomnia...suicidal ideation...feelings of hopelessness...I was abused as a child, my whole life has been shi**y, and I just can't see how anything will get better. I read a review of 'Anatomy of an Epidemic' in my erstwhile New York Review of Books-that Marcia Angell is really something...I checked the book out of the library, and soon started d/cing the Depakote I had been on for years...my last AD was mertazapine, which made me into a fat pig, when before I had been nicknamed 'skelator' by my kids... I tapered the last drug, the K, for a year and a half, thinking I would be good to go but NO...7 weeks out from jumping I had some major stressors...and began the horror of the akathesia (sp) I felt as if I was metabolizing jet fuel,,,relentless sleeplessness...weakness (formerly quite active since I get around without a car) my blood pressure was way high...I did not know what was going on. I went to the clinic and they of course, wanted me to get back on the Depakote, cuz, you know, I'm bipolar...they gave me Remeron...and I took it but it gave me incredible epic dreams/nightmares...went back they gave me sleeping pill (can't for the life of me remember which one...a z drug-told me it wasn't a benzo... FInally found BenzoBuddies and figured out what was going on-they are good for that. I was so uncomfortable in my skin I just wanted to kill myself. Got an offer for some free acupunture treatments, and I was able to sleep for awhile...the racing metabolism (sorry-wish there was spell check here) went mostly away...it was nice being touched...nobody touches me. People in town think I'm f***ing nuts, they make big circles around me. I've always been too sensitive, I've always seen the big picture...I protested the Diablo Canyon nuclear plant in the day for example...I want to save the world but can't seem to save myself. Gonna try and post this while I have a signal. thanks for being here- PS some of this doesn't make sense...will edit it later;)
  13. 2010- Two years of severe headaches. Bad vision in one eye. Muscle pains. The doctors did not say anything. 2012- anxiety appeared. the first drug sertaline - a paradoxical reaction. I got depression, ss thoughts and other bad symptoms. 2012- 2016 paroxetine - - I tappered slowly, but I did not know yet that it should be stopped more slowly. 3 months without paroxetine and withdrawal syndrome appeared. Return to the drug worsened the matter. I crashed. Bridge with fluoxetine. A year passed. at the end of September 2016 I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. I did test in two different laboratories. 08/08/2016-now fluoxetin 20 mg 01/05/2016- now- triticco / trazadone 75 mg clonozepam - 04.03.2017. from 20.11.2017 I started tapper from 0.5 to 0.125 mg- when I got some relief from Lyme treatment. Now I am treated with ILADS ( Lyme and bartonella) and also tapper psycho drags. I want to not rule out the syndrome and stop the drugs safely. I am asking for support and exchange of experience, especially people who suffer from Lyme disease. I need to make plan. How to discontinue: clonazepam 0,125 mg, fluoxetine 20 mg and trazadon 75 mg How I feel now: Antibiotics have sustained discomfort from the urinary tract and improved the results of cytology. I have more windows, but I still experience strong hits of depression and pain in small joints, a specially neck. Through complicated diagnostics of Lyme disease and the syndrome, I do not know which symptoms are from what. Thank you for your attention, sorry for mistakes.
  14. I’m from Ireland.First time I took Xanax in 2018 October few times as I couldn’t sleep , not every day but sometimes happened maybe 3 days in row in October ( that time I HAD no info on crazy benzo !) .Sometimes I drunk Alkohol in between , as I couldt sleep. Then I took Xanax in January few times not every day , but even 3 mg to calm down or to sleep . I started to have suisaidal thoughts then after Xanax and ambulance took me they said I’m not mentally ill , they can’t keep me in hospital I have high terror anxiety ..... I also took for 1 week sleeping pills ( forgot names ) more than required ( not to kill myself !) I just could not calm down to sleep and drink 3 beers with it and I slept ( it happened twice !) . Then Avitan for 5 days only but wasn’t working . Then in March I got laxapro for 21 days but I started to feel more fears so I stopped gradually . Then for 1 week diazepam lowest dose but it couldt put me to sleep . 1 day another dr in emergency gave me Dalmane 30 mg that’s first time I fall in sleep . She gave me fot 7 days but I never took every day . Then another dr gave me a Dalmane through April / June 15 mg but I was taking 30 mg every week or every 2 weeks , sometimes twice a week .... (Last time I took Dalmane 4 days ago. Now I’m in extreme fear 24/7 and depressed. I don’t know 100% , but I think it is if all this crazynes / fears is because of those benzo :Dalmane ) . I also had difficulty in my relationship ( I thought I’m in abusive relationship) , but maybe because of my behaviour ......mI was the one difficult sometimes ..... I never tapper properly from it ( Xanax , Dalmane was the longest most I took ) as my dr doesn’t belive I am addicted as I wasn’t taking every day . But I think I’m . My brain change . I was over worry about everything, extreme anxiety, didt know “who I am “, lost myself , my confidence etc . I have 13 years old son I need to survive live for him . At the top of it I have very laud tinnatus ( hidden hearing loss ). On the 23 of September another psychiatrist in Poland gave me Tranzone ( 300 mg for night ) I slept actually but waking up in fears so he said to tapper from Dalmane , he gave me Tranxene - Cloranxen on the 1st of September . I am feeling very afraid , depressed. Although I think a bit calmer on than Tranzone maybe ( or cloranxen 😬😅😢) I. don’t want to be on benzo . I don’t know if I’m addicted to Dalmane ( I think I am even thou I wasn’t taking every day ) . Now I got that Tranxene to tapper from Flurazepan ( I was told on face book group : they said to cut 10 mg into quarters and tapper :7.5 for 10 days: 3 times a day quarter and then take two quarters for 10 days etc .as I only have 18 tablets of Tranxene left . ( I’m 4 day on it ) . Please advise what can I do . Im like ... dying ... going down ....please help
  15. My story: I started taking anti depressants about 15 years ago for mild anxiety. I saw my doctor and he gave me a prescription after about 15 minutes without any exam. He said I had a guess what? Chemical imbalance. For the next 15 years I switched a few times and increased the dosed so in the end I was on 50mg of Paroxetine CR daily. Through the years I had always had a feeling that something just wasn’t right with me, I was drinking way too much sometimes and I felt like I just didn’t think right, like a normal person. After 8 years dry, I started drinking again following my divorce. I slowly drank more and more and continued to take my 50mgs of paxil every day. I didn’t realize it but I was slowly taking away my conscience. I also didn’t realize it until recently but the paxil was actually giving me the overwhelming urge to drink. It screws up your blood sugar which creates a craving for sweets. Alcohol derived from sugar, so it satisfies this need in your body. But what happens is afterward your blood sugar crashes again which starts a cycle of craving. As a result of the paxil and alcohol I was lying to everyone including myself about my drinking but it didn’t seem wrong to me. Anti depressants and the like are very powerful drugs that not only affect us physically but they do horrendous things to our brains and our personalities. I found myself praying frequently and asking God to help me. I knew I was drinking too much but I also felt something else was drastically wrong but I couldn’t put my finger on it. God answered my prayer and I guess I wasn’t prepared for what it meant. He sent an angel into my life who when she learned about these drugs urged me to get off of them. We came up with a reduction strategy not wanting to go through the possible severe discontinuation syndrome, which is a nice name for a visit to hell in withdrawal. I started cutting my dose and feeling some minor discomfort every so often but nothing unmanagable. It wasn’t until about 8 months into it that I got hit by a freight train of withdrawal. It turns out that these drugs are stored in our body’s tissue and our blodd levels drop much slower than expected from redu cing the dosage. So when my body caught up my nightmare started. I know this is a benzo site, but I also know that many are in the same situation as I was so I want to talk about antidepressants as well because that is what led me into getting trapped by benzos. They sent me to hell on earth where I met benzodiazapines. So at 8 months I was thrust into full blown a/d withdrawal what seemed like overnight. I was extremely anxious, disconnected, confused and scared. Looking back I don’t know how I got through each day. Well actually it was my angel who was there for me every second that is the reason I made it through this whole ordeal. She talked to me all day long and spent untold hours doing exhaustive research to try to help me in every way possible. Through nutrition, essential oils, anxiety management techniques and on and on. My anxiety and dp/dr got worse every day and after about a month of trying certain supplements and hoping for relief, I decided I couldn’t take it anymore so I went to see my primary care doctor. He was all to willing to prescribe me something to help me with the anxiety. Xanax, .25mg, 3 times a day as needed. I was instantly addicted and very soon right into tolerance so I visited the doctor a few more times. The end result was ending up an 3mg of Ativan a day. It wasn’t long until that wasn’t enough to put a dent in my anxiety and other symptoms so I started adding more pills on the worst days. I also drank periodically to try to get any kind of relief. It got so bad that one day I actually ended up taking 8mg of Ativan along with drinking a lot of beer and wine. I don’t know how I lived through that day but my angel was there to watch over me and make sure nothing happened to me. I thank God for her every day. It takes a special kind of person to be a care taker for someone in a/d and benzo withdrawal. And she never left my side for the 2 years it took me to start the reduction of the a/d to this day as I sit hear and prespare to share my story. The benzo’s were making me crazier and crazier the higher I went. I can’t really provide too much detail for this time in my life because I was in a benzo induced haze and I don’t remember too much. I know I did some really stupid things and couldn’t take care of myself. I was starting to get really paranoid and agoraphobic. I would stay alone in my apartment in the dark, afraid to go anywhere. I was still drinking from time to time and I was also having a lot of phsyical symptoms too. I was dizzy a lot and my vision was out of focus. I felt like I was a small version of myself and that I was inside my own head looking out through my eyes like windows. I was feeling like I didn’t belong in this world and was feeling like what I was going through was surely going to result in my life being over soon. It got so bad and I got so scared I did the worst thing I could have done. I went to the hospital. I knew I needed to get off the benzo’s and I figured they could help me, WRONG!! I spent about a week in the first mental hospital while they took me off the remaining paxil and put me on cymbalta at the same time they were weaning me off of 3mgs of Ativan over the course of a week. By this time I was crazy, I was crying all the time and just thinking that my life was over. I got out of the hospital and immediately starting abusing the benzo’s again in a futile attempt to calm myself down. I was on an adrenaline rollercoaster along with all my other symptoms. After a week I realized what I was doing and went back to the hospital. A different one this time and they tried to wean me off 4mg in 4 days……4, 3, 2, 1 and done. I ended up getting out of the hospital before being completely off but I was an absolute basket case. Going to the hospital once was a mistake. Going back was catastrophic. I am very lucky that I wasn’t diagnosed with bipolar or something else. The hospital was determined to get me to talk so they could diagnose me and prescribe more meds. Everytime I had to see the doctor in the hospital they would try to lead me into saying something that would confirm with them that I was mentally ill. I AM NOT mentally ill, there is actually no such thing as mentally ill. The whole of psychiatry is based on lies. These drugs do things to your brain to make you act abnormally. Take away the drugs and take care of yourself and your mental state will heal along with your body. My angel stepped in and helped me reestablish so that I could wean slowly. Right out of the hospital I had to go stay with my angel. I was psychotic and I hadn’t slept for 2 weeks. I was stupid enough to try ambien so that I could sleep. I took 9, 25mg pills over the next three days and didn’t sleep at all. Imaging taking 225mg of a sleeping pill and not being able to sleep!! There must be something seriously wrong with that, it just shows you that once these drugs screw up your brain chemistry there is only one way to heal and that is by weaning off, going through wit drawal and trying to use anything natural to help strengthen your body. At this point I was in the deepest part of my withdrawal. I was reduced to the mental and emotional capacity of a child. I was helpless to take care of myself and I was a physical and mental basket case. I was shaking from head to toe constantly. I was pacing around, smoking cigarettes and I was in a state of absolute continual panic. The benzo’s had taken away my ability to feel any happiness or normality. All I could feel was overwhelming fear and sadness. I cried continually over everything. I felt like my life was over, I could not ever have imagined feeling so bad. I know why they call benzo withdrawal hell. It put me in a state of torment, which I would have as a constant companion for the next year. My fear of everything was so intense I believe my brain shut down to some degree to protect itself but even that did not relieve the fear and sadness. I could stand the slightest noise or any kind of activity. I could watch tv or listen to music. I could barely put 2 words together. I know most of this because my angel filled me in. I don’t really remember much at all from this time period. I was on watch 24 hours a day to make sure I didn’t have a seizure or just plain go beserk. At one point I scratched my face until it was bleeding and I don’t know why. These drugs hijack your brain and body and they don’t let go. I have experience drug and alcohol dependency and withdrawal and they were like a walk in the park compared to what I was to experience with both a/d’s and benzos. With benzos being by far the worst experience I have ever had. I also had a constant fear that I was going to die. I was certain that I had some horrible illness. I was constantly thinking I was going to have a heart attack or find our I had some incurable disease. I was actually so filled with panic I was afraid to go to sleep. I could picture dying in my mind and it seamed so real to me at the time. I was like feeling death over and over. I could picture life going on after I was dead, the thought were torturous. So in this state we reestablished me on 3mg’s of Ativan a day. We started weaning a ¼ of a pill every 7-10 days. This was a pretty fast weaning schedule and I would definitely recommend to anyone going much slower, but we were determined to get me off of benzos as quickly as we could safely. And after have been forced to go cold turkey twice by the hospitals, I don’t know that it would have made a difference to me to go any slower. I was so screwed up and the damage had already been done. It took about 4 months to wean off the benzos and I had been thinking that I would not feel as bad as when I started withdrawal but I was wrong. About a week or so after taking my last dose I starting feeling so much worse. I didn’t think it was possible but it was. My body had finally gotten rid of the drug and all hell was breaking loose. I would spend the next month in the dark locked in my apartment. I would just lay there for days, only getting up to go to the bathroom. I had my shades drawn and I was wrapped in a blanket on my couch. Like a child the blanket gave me some tiny feeling of security. Every noise I heard made me jump and I would be paranoid that someone was going to come and take me away. Everytime I heard an ambulance go by I was certain they were coming for me. My angel took care of me every second. Feeding me and watching out for me, comforting my fear and gently reassuring me every day that I was not going to be like this forever, this was withdrawal and it would end. Despite her encouragement I could not comprehend the concept. I was obsessed with my symptoms and I was absolutely certain that this was the real me. A paranoid basket case. I did not see how it could be possible to ever return to feeling like a human being again while feeling the way I felt. I felt really alone because I was so disconnected from myself, my emotions and the rest of the world. I cried every day for months and I don’t mean a few tears. I was sobbing uncontrollably at the slightest provocation. I tried to distract myself with tv, but I found that the slightest emotion shown would send me into a panic or I would breakdown into the deepest despair I have ever felt. At one point I found that I could watch an animated movie and I watched it over and over again. I don’t exaggerate when I say that I watched it 1000 times. I don’t know how I still have a job today. I was constantly calling in sick and taking off days at a time. My angel is the only reason I am still employed. I couldn’t drive an she drove me back and forth to work and kept me going day after day despite my desire to just give up and loose my job. I am so thankful for what she did I would not be alive today if it wasn’t for her. During this time my angel was doing exhaustive research trying to find anything that might help me in the slightest way. Supplements, healing foods, essential oils and on and on. I didn’t realize it at the time but the foods and the oils saved me from a much worse experience and they were helping repair the damage that I did to my mind and body. I know it was extremely difficult for her because I was very uncooperative and I wasn’t doing what she told me to do with any consistency. When I finally starting following her instruction at the end I realized that I should have been listening since the beginning. Nutrition and natural remedies are the key to any real health. For the next 7 months I barely existed. I was going to work and then going home and then laying in the dark in a state of constant terror. I had a number of physical symptoms but the mental symptoms were the most unbearable. I said every day that I wished I could trade the mental for the physical. I realize I was actually fortunate after hearing of the physical suffering that so many were enduring. My mental state was totally obsessive and focused on my own suffering so I was unable to experience the empathy that I now have for others. My physical symptoms included blurred vision, dizziness, various pains, heart palpitations, night sweats and I had a rash on my face for the entire duration of withdrawal. I still have it but it is fading now. During withdrawal I saw a doctor on numerous occasions trying to explain my withdrawal and the symptoms I was having and the doctors all said they would like me to see a psychiatrist. Basically dismissing what I was telling them. Unwilling or unable to accept the idea that the drugs they prescribe were tearing me apart. They would talk to me with that all knowing condescending town offering their forced compassion all the while insisting that it couldn’t be withdrawal and implying that I had a mental disorder. One doctor told me to consider increasing the paxil. I can’t believe the willing ignorance of the medical profession in the face of such overwhelming evidence of this epidemic. I saw a psychiatrist as infrequently as possible. It was a necessity to avoid having to cold turkey off the last of 20mg’s of paroxetine. I would muster all my inner strength to tell them I was doing fine, knowing full well telling them about the withdrawal would result in a life changing diagnosis. It was until last December I was giving the name of a doctor that was practicing functional medicine. A combination of treatment by short term medicine along with long term nutritional approach to health and well being. I am so thankful because it turned out to be the turning point for me. I started out being given tests for vitamin levels and food allergies along with a complete blood panel. At first I was put on a few supplements. They didn’t have any impact and I felt worse every day. Hopelessness was growing and I was constantly wondering how much longer I could keep going. I ended making another appointment with this doctor in a desperate attempt to find the slightest bit of relief. After talking to the doctor she said she would be willing to prescribe a small dose of abillify to see if the could provide enough relief to enable me to function. What we didn’t know at the time was there was a neurologist in California that was having success treating patients with minute amounts of these types of drugs for short periods of time and seeing results. I took the abilify for 2 weeks and over the course of that time I was becoming more and more aggressive each day. It continued until I got so paranoid and aggressive that I turned on the one person who had devoted herself to caring for me and never leaving my side. I was delusional and this new drug had made me think that she was trying to control me and keep me captive in my apartment. The place that I had confined myself for the last 2 years. I have to take every opportunity I have to express my sorrow for having treated her so badly, because she saved my life and I will never forget what she has done for me. Even though my actions were induced by psychotropic drugs hijacking my thinking I still have no solace in that having turned on her like a rabid dog. That is what these drugs do to people it is disgusting. Because I felt so bad it finally made me see through the psychotic fog and I decided to stop taking the medicine. After 3 days to my absolute surprise I noticed that I actually felt a little better and over the course of the next few days I felt better and better. I actually experienced happiness which was an emotion I forgot how it felt to have. Since then I have continued to fell better and better with the passing time. I changed my diet and stuck to doing what my angel was telling me to do and as a result I am no longer in withdrawal and I am getting ready to start weaning the last of the paroxetine, extremely slowly!! We believe that the small dose of anti psychotic drug stimulated the receptors which had basically been shut down from the a/d’s and benzo’s. As a result I have lost all of my mental symptoms and I only have minimal physical symptoms. My cns is still very sensitive and I am only sleeping 3-4 hours a nite but I am eager to face each day with happiness and an undying gratitude for my life and my angel. I believe that I was divinely guided through every step of this journey and I can see now the reason for everything that happenend. I thank God each day and look forward to the future hoping that I can pay forward the gifts I received
  16. How it all started. November 2017 I was prescribed .5 mg of Klonopin to be taken once daily I do not have any pre existing anxiety or health issues. The "medicine" was given to me to help with some stress induced insomnia. Since then the stress that caused the insomnia has long been resolved. I was told this medication was a low dose, and it was perfectly safe, and could be taken nightly for up to 3 months without having any problems with dependency or addiction. Even though i told the doctor 11 years prior i had a bad withdrawel from Ativan that was prescribed to me after my mothers death. He said klonopin is much safer and easier to come off of. Also i took increasing doses of Ativan for close to a year... so of course it was hard to withdraw from... I took the Klonopin .5mg exactly as prescribed for about 10 to 12 days, and then for a week after I took half the dose .25 mg. Then i quit... Apparently I'm very sensitive to these types of medications and not biochemically compatible with them, because what happened over the next 8 days, I describe as increasing anxiety, insomnia, and irrational fear, that got to the point (8 days out) of having absolutely zero sleep the night before and feeling completely detaches from reality. Now i wish i would have realized what was happening and stuck it out, because I'd probably be 100% recovered by now. However, I ( like so many of us ) went running back to the doctor for help. I made an emergency appointment with my doc. He prescribed me a very high dose of Gabapentin and told me that its a great new medication used for benzo and alchohol withdrawels. He promised me that this drug was completely safe and not addictive at all as he did with the Klonopin. but he convinced me of it by telling me it wasn't a controlled substance. It worked great for about a week, but then all of those strange withdrawal symptoms from the Klonopin started coming back, and I required more of the Gabapentin to control those symptoms... My doctor actually said I could pick up the 3600 mg of it a day if need it without any worry of withdrawal. I had a massive bottle of 300mg pills and another massive bottle of 100mg pills to "fill in" I got to the point where I was taking 300 mg in the morning, 300 mg in the afternoon, and 1200 mg at night. But something just didn't feel right, I wasn't myself, I felt like I had suddenly lost 10 or 15 IQ points, the world seemed dull and so did my emotions. So the doctor pulled me off the gabapentin and put me back on the klonopin and once stable I would do a very slow taper, i was desperate to feel normal again so i agreed... I was pulled from the gabapentin after being on it for only 9 days... but with no taper and put back on the klonopin. Only this time it was not really working... I am well aware of Heather Ashton, slow tappering, micro tappering, and the effects benzos have on our gaba receptors... i personaly think Ashton is to highly regarded... I think the cross over to valium is a bad idea and does not work out for a lot of people... i respect the work she did, and her research, but that information is out dated and had needed to be continued and expanded upon. I do not agree all benzos effect the brain the same way the only difference is half life... My doctor thought going on valium would be my best option because of the long half life.... but there was no transition, it was just simply stop the Klonopin 1 day and start on 8mg diazapam the next... valiums main chemical of action breaks down in just 4 hours, while the rest of it just builds up in our systems... so the relief factor is short, while the rest of the chemicals just build up. Where I am at now I am currently taking 3 mg of Valium in the morning and 3 mg of Valium at night as well as 300 mg of Gabapentin in the morning and 300 mg at night ( yes im back on the gaba... mainly because the lack of sleep that started after my 2nd valium cut was just killing me) . This process is drawn out for the better part of a year now, and I'm still not medication free, and I'm still suffering insomnia, anxiety, and a sense of detachment. What I'm really wondering is if anyone has been on this combination of medications, and how they approached the taper. It doesn't matter which one I cut, I feel the effects of both in very much the same way with the same type of symptoms. Should I be tapering say half a milligram of Valium every two weeks, and 100 mg of Gabapentin every 2 weeks? Or tackle one at a time??? I apologize as this intro has turn into a book, I'm just very desperate for answers from people who have been through this I'm not seeking medical advice just personal experiences. My doctor and my pharmacist both say that what I'm experiencing is impossible given my dosage. But i know better. Just last year I was a highly functioning, healthy , strong, muscular, independent hard-working man, that ate a very healthy diet. After taking the Klonopin for just 17 days, the aftermath has been the loss of my job, i've had to move in with my sister for the time being. And all any doctor wants to do is give me more drugs or up my doses. I know the reality is this is a side effect kind of withdrawal from the medication so I refuse to do that. I have had a ton of blood work, and other neurological tests that are all perfectly normal I currently take both ionic and threonate magnesium in the middle of the day. I dont know if it helps ot not... i still eat healthy and walk at least 3 miles a day. SYMPTOMS I have lost 10 pounds of muscle, i have diahrea everyday I have benign faciculation dissorter My hands are shakey I have a massive panic attack in the middle of the night that wakes me up After the panic attqck at night I spend the rest of my hours in stage 2 of sleep ( where i feel like im not sleeping but i actually am) during this time i have a constant stream of thoughts, songs stuck in my head, and thins that make literaly no sense at all... I sleep between 2 and 6 hours per night. I have daytime anxiety mainly in the afternoon. Thank you, and best wishes to all of you.
  17. Hi ! I am now two years off klonopin. I used it for 13 years. I still now suffer from nerve pain : numbness, buzzing, tingling, burning, pins and needles burning sensation in limbs. But this condition worsens as I started Tapering Luvox last spring. The condition is now so bad that I can't sleep. I also have to deal with muscle pain all over. I really think tapering the SSRI increased that benzo protracted withdrawal related nerve pain symptoms. I had an MRi which is normal. Not sure if I should continue to taper the SSRI or take a break. I am currently half way through...Outside the nerve pain, I haven't noticed other symptoms ! So taking a break ? But if it takes years anyway before nerve pain goes away, this might just be a waste of time stopping to taper Luvox.
  18. I was recently referred to benzo buddies http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=89.0for more success stories. I found tons success stories just for the year of 2017, and most are from much shorter tapering (less than a year). Wow, so we who are on ssri are in the worst hit of all, in the order of street drugs, benzo, SSirs with increasing difficulty in withdrawal???!!! This new awareness is very heart hardening.
  19. I'm a 54 year old female that has been on Cymbalta for about 7 years. I started at 120 mgs. and that was lowered to 90 mgs. because it raised my blood pressure. I stayed on 90 mgs. for quite a while. Last fall I stupidly stopped taking this drug because I didn't think it was working. I didn't know the dangers of cold turkey. I reinstated it 2 months after being off it. I'm now on 60 mgs. I take 30 mgs. 2 x a day. I've been back on it for 4 months trying to reinstate past the 2-3 week reinstatement time frame. I feel that the Cymbalta is no longer working. I have a lot of anxiety and feeling nausea. And diarrhea. I do also take a benzo. I just don't know what to do now. I can't cold turkey it again but I'm not feeling good. I need help! Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.
  20. I'm holding at .25 mg of clonazepam twice a day. Since September 2017 have been slowly tapering down from .5mg , 3 times a day from Aug 2017. The madness started when I tried to taper off 1 mg of xanax 3 times a day in May 2017 . I could not taper off xanax , even with a trial of ativan or valium both intolerable. 2 mg dose of valium caused uncontrollable shaking of body and stuttering when speaking . Ended up in Aug 2017 , in hospital , pulled off xanax, thrown on mirtazepiene , gabapentin and clonazepam . Have slowly tapered off the gabapentin and mirtazepiene, one at a time . I need help in lowering my dose of clonazepam , because have been holding for 30 days + due to on and off internal vibrations , and the start of warming spine with tingling , assorted chills on and off, etc . My fear is the next taper will bring constant burning of spine , as had with xanax , and worse the reinstatement of gabapentin. Gabapentin did stop burning spine but with depression, blurred vision, weight gain and acne like eruptions on face and neck , as well as other side effects , etc. I need help on my next drop . Do I just stay where I am at and hope the internal vibrations, tingling , and warming spine at some point stop ? I'm very strong and determined to be free of this drug but do not know how to endure burning nerve pain from withdrawal . I have tried topical magnesium oil , oral melatonin for sleep , Ubiquinal , etc to no avail. Ubiquinal at low dose reved me up , just to stimulating . Who knows if placebo effect , but tart cherry juice , twice a day allows for some sleep. I find my body during tapering, less is more and fear supplements cause more harm due to a very sensitive nervous system. I do take vitamin b with c and vitamin d . I follow a low cholesterol diet , no alcohol or caffeine . My DR. does not believe in protracted withdrawal or that my symptoms stem from benzos . A neurologist disagrees as thankfully no neurological damage just neurological symptoms every time a cut in dose is made . Does any one have any insight to ease my suffering ?
  21. Hello there good people. Nice to meet you all. I am so relieved that I have found folks that know what I am going through. I am 61 years old and have just carefully and slowly weaned myself off Sertraline and Diazepam which I have been on since December 2014. At the moment I have cancer of the larynx so it was imperative I got off the meds so that I can work on getting my immune system fully up and running. I also gave up tobacco and alcohol in December 2014 so my body has a lot to do. And I now have a tracheostomy as a way to buy time as I have decided not to go for chemo or radio. I have a very old dog who is suffering from kidney failure and dementia so between us we present a truly thrilling picture of good health and sanity - she pees on the carpet a lot and I have panic attacks. Most attractive! It will be wonderful to be able to talk about what I am going through to people who know about it. Nobody else I know has any experience of this problem so I feel very alone with it which I know is not a good thing. My son (not living with me) is very supportive but I want to keep him out of this as much as I can as he has his own life to live. I also look forward to being able to offer support to other people when I am feeling a bit less stressed. At the moment I am having lots of fear thoughts which can be quite overwhelming. I have lots of other symptoms but this is the one I am finding difficult to deal with at the moment. I shall stop now before I get carried away. Thank you for your time.
  22. Hi everyone, I have been on Klonopin since 2013 and started my taper in tolerance withdrawal this past February at 2.5 mg's a day. My method of tapering was to liquefy .5 mg's in 100 mL's of milk and reduce by 10% a month while taking the rest of my dosage dry. Things were far from good but ever since I've been at about 1.75 when I slowed to 5% I've been completely non functional. I'm extremely dizzy, have DP/DR, horrible morning anxiety, agoraphobia, bad gastro issues, insomnia, depression and many other symptoms that I'm sure many of you suffer from. I know that everyone is different and that a MT was not a guarantee to a smooth ride by any means but I at least thought it would be bearable. I don't work, I don't see my friends, my memory and photo-sensitivity are so bad that I can't really even watch TV/movies/sports and I honestly have no idea how anyone can live like this for a prolonged period of time. My prescriber is extremely unwise when it comes to benzos and attributes any worsening in my symptoms entirely to my "underlying anxiety disorder" while pushing drugs even though I've been seeing her for three years and have gotten MUCH worse as I unwittingly let her up my Klonopin dosage and try several SSRI's and other psych meds. I just don't know how to progress. I am at 1.5 mg's so I am just holding there and taking my full dosage dry for the time being but I don't know whether to try a cut and hold or find someone who will oversee a Valium crossover (which I've been looking for to no avail for a long time) or what. I just don't know if there's anything that I could be doing to limit the amount of suffering that I'm going through and I'm feeling very hopeless and confused. I don't ever seem to "stabilize" but I don't know how to proceed. I'm not sure what I'm looking for to come out of this but any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
  23. i everyone:I have been tapering from a benzodiazepine for almost a year and now am ready to undertake the antidepressants. I guess some people say do the antidepressants first but its too late for that now. I am almost done with my benzo taper. I am copying my first entry from Benzo buddies here because the history is the same Current cocktail: 60 mg Cymbalta, 150 mg Wellbutrin SR, and .090 mg of Klonopin (Benzo). I won't bore you with too many details but I think an abridged version is in order. I was first put on a cocktail of Klonopin, Wellbutrin, and Cymbalta over 12 years ago. I had been on SSRI's for 15 years at this point. The Pdoc said this would help with anxiety and never mentioned a word about dependence, addiction or withdrawal. He continued to prescribe for the next three years till he fired me for missing appointments. My next three pdocs said nothing other than it was hard to get off but it had no negative side effects. One said I might need to stay on the rest of my life, after all it's cheap! My GP refused to offer opinions and would not prescribe psychotropic meds.Meanwhile my marriage was falling apart and it was getting harder and harder to do my job.In June 2014, a friend referred me to a Lyme doctor who had a great rep. He spent an hour talking to me and then said he wanted to do about $1200 worth of testing. Result? I definitely had Lyme disease and I spent the next 2-1/2 years doing antibiotics and herbal protocols to kill the Lyme. At the end of this, I still had most of symptoms and had almost been fired and then went on Long Term disability in late 2015. SSA denied me but my company had a private plan (I know I am blessed here). To the Lyme Doctors credit he had said initially that I should try to get off Benzos and he took me from 1 mg down to .75 mg in one cut. I then started seeing a number of homeopaths, naturopaths and other quacks. I got a new Pdoc and asked him to help me taper off K. I just had this feeling.....Fine, he said. Why don't you go from .75 mg down to .5 mg, the tablets are hard to cut more than that. Yes sir, I said in my most humble voice. Well, I am sure you all know how that went. I reinstated to .6875 mg (or therabouts) after 3 weeks of hell. By this time, I had found the ashton manual, and benzobuddies. When I asked him to slow the taper, he said he didn't know how. I finally found an oral K pill on my own that was .125 mg. He graciously gave me one month's worth. I begged for Valium. And, no way, he said, through his assistant. I have quit him and have another appointment with somehow who actually is familiar with Ashton in Late June.It is now over 2 months later. I am have ordered supplies for a liquid taper. My major symptoms haven't changed much and are brain fog, memory issues, severe fatigue, unrefreshing sleep, and muscle spasms (which got better after reinstating). I am also grouchy which explains why I am alone a lot. I try to be pleasant and avoid the topic of Benzos, but it is hard.I did two dry cuts and am now down to .53125 mg. (or therabouts). Symptoms have been simply outrageous and I have been holding for 1-1/2 months.I have no idea what the new Pdoc will do, so I am going to try very small cuts using water titration next. Still with K. What a wonder drug! It worked for all of 4 weeks back in 2005.Well, thats my story and I am sticking to it. Would love to get to know some of you. I listen well and I actually have other interests. I just don't get out as much anymore.Blessings,
  24. I'm new on this site. I was referred to this site from someone on benzo buddies. I am 15 months free of them. I am looking to taper off of Prozac now. I need help with how to taper off of Prozac safely and not rapidly. I then will taper off of gabapentin. I am in a very fragile state right now. Please be gentle.
  25. 'm new to the forum and feel like I've found a place where I can get some well informed answers. You all seem amazing! I'm trying to taper off Buspar (25mg- 5 weeks) and clonazapam (7 weeks - made it to .25 mg and am stuck). Which should I do first? I just read on this forum about tapering off ADs before Benzos and wonder what holds true for Buspar? I know Buspar affects seratonin in some way, but don't understand the mechanism and know it's different than ADs so maybe I should go for the Benzo first? While I have not been on them very long, it is clear to me that for some odd reason I have an extremely sensitive nervous system. I tried to go off the benzo twice and failed miserably. I had horrible incapacitating symptoms (I was on Ativan for 3 weeks and cold turkey-ed off at my doctors insistence which was a huge mistake) Then she switched me to clonazapam and after getting more stable i was able to go down from .5mg). My doc and psychiatrist are pushing Zoloft or lexapro and doesn't believe these symptoms are due to withdrawal but i really feel that I am stable now (had a stressful event in Aug/Sept which is gone and felt good at the start of Oct) and just anxious about the tapering down and withdrawal symptoms since both times I tried to stop they were so incredibly traumatic. Psychiatrist told me To just stop Buspar cold turkey but there is no way. I've tried reducing the dose by 10% the past 2 nights and it's been rough- not like the benzo but I can tell it isn't going to be easy. (Super nauseous and increased anxiety, physical symptoms). I've got more background but wanted to keep it shorter! Thanks for thoughts about which one to stop first!
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