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  1. Hi everyone. first off all i want to say how strong and brave all of you are to be dealing with these nightmare drugs... i have been on and off of these psychiatric drugs,for 5 years. specifically srris (prozac + zoloft) wellbutrin + gabapentin, abilify, and now currently taking lamictal (150 mg.) i am 36 weeks pregnant and terrified of the near future and as i haven't really been able to fully enjoy my pregnancy. or most of my youth... i don't even know what i am thinking or doing. i feel really alone. the reason of going on these meds was from dealing with depression + anxiety most of my life, and bpd + ptsd from abusive narcissistic parents. i attempted suicide right before. took about 50 pills. i had a very dysfunctional family. i am 22 now. i feel lost, most days i feel empty ,hopeless. i don't go out of my house, besides grocery shopping. i have no friends. maybe 1 but i barely ever see her , i have a social phobia ever since starting and withdrawing from these drugs. i developed major anhedonia from stopping the prozac + zoloft. even though i took one of the lowest doses possible. i had only been on these for 9 months or less. i remember stopping, as i was sick of depending on these. they told me they werent addicting and i could stop anytime,they told me nobody has ever had these symptoms, they lookde at me like i was crazy. made me feel isolated. i regret going cold turkey.. i remember being manic on them. severe anxiety, hallucinations insomnia, crawling sensations brain zaps major anhedonia, memory loss, etc. i hadn't been myself since. i was grieving my old self, it is one of the worst things you could ever experience. i didnt even know was possible. but here we are... anyways, i have been off the prozac + zoloft for almost 6 years now and wouldnt ever touch those things again. i took abilify for only a few weeks. amitryptiline once or twice. ambien, once. ativan only for a week. ive been off the gabapentin for almsot 3 years now. i tapered that one. after going off cold turkey off the srris, i went on wellbutrin and took that for 3 years, and gabapentin for 2 years. i went off the wellbutrin for a year, then went back on, which i regret once again. i took the wellbutrin for 9 months then stopped, again,to get pregnant at 150 mg. then went back on... at 8 weeks pregnant for about a month. then stopped. then started a drug called lamictal , i am now at 150 mg. i am just over all of this and wish to be drug free, but it seems impossible at this point and afraid ill never recover completely. i am afraid of experiencing anhedonia memory loss as i did before with the srris + wellbutrin. i have sever memroy loss. i feel like i cant even keep up with a conversation because my mind goes blank.. i have depersonalization now. i just dont want to accept this is the end, this is it,,. it can't be. but how is this any way to live? how am i supposed to raise a child into this world.. it all seems unfair and i feel like an absolute idiot for getting pregnant, i thought it was meant to be at the time, but im second guessing it all now. im very afraid. do you think i could stop the lamictal and get back to my old self one day? ive thought about natural holistic alternatives such as turmeric + lions mane, ginger + l theanine, magnesium, ashwaghanda rhodiola + brahmi + holy basil + cacao coffee, etc. and some work but i dont know if i should continue taking after the pregnancy and just rely on these. i dont want to exist if this is truly how life is.. i wish i never took these awful drugs. i feel its the worst thing that i could have ever done, i want my old life back even if it was so painful. atleast then i still felt alive in a sense. thank you all, i wish you all the best in your recorvery + healing journeys.
  2. Hi everyone, I just joined this site. I am tapering from 200 mg of Zoloft. I've been taking Zoloft for about 20 years now, and a better amount of that time has been 200 mg. I started tapering by 25 mg every 2 weeks on February 7, 2019. I just started 100 mg today. I had a bit of a hiccup and had to take 125 mg for a bit longer than expected. The reason for my taper is that I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was originally diagnosed with depression, and used alcohol as a crutch. I quit drinking early November of 2018 and am enrolled in DBT classes. My psychiatrist seems to think that my issues are mainly BPD and alcohol so I may be able to get off the Zoloft. I'm having a multitude of symptoms and I would love to be welcomed in your group so that I can share my experiences and learn from others.
  3. I've been tapering off of Lamictal for about 5 months now, and won't be done until September 22nd. I'm tapering 25 mg every 2 weeks. I've experienced some withdrawal symptoms with other meds, Effexor being the worst, but coming off of Lamictal is one of the worst things that I've ever experienced. I've put in the time and effort to have bettered myself in order to be stable enough to get off of these medications, but the mental and emotional symptoms are intense. The endless physical side effects just make the emotional parts worse. I have a good support system, but I'm finding myself still wanting to talk to others who have experienced similar situations. I put together a list today of my withdrawal symptoms currently. I'm basically housebound right now, and it is beyond hard. My Current Withdrawal Symptoms: Physical Withdrawal Symptoms 1. Nausea/Vomiting 2. Diarrhea/Constipation 3. Migraines 4. Vision Changes 5. Body Pain/Foot Pain/Muscle Pain/Neck and Shoulder Pain/Stiffness 6. Tooth Pain 7. Bone Pain/Joint Pain/Cracking/Rubbing 8. Gagging/Vomiting from smells, tastes, textures, etc. 9. Easily out of breath/hard to breathe/chest pain 10. Overall weak/low endurance 11. Cold Sweats/Hot Sweats/Hot Flashes/Temperature regulation problems 12. Crawling in my skin/body is uncomfortable 13. Cold symptoms – runny/stuffy nose, sore throat 14. Extreme Fatigue 15. Off-balance/fall/run into things/hurt self often/dizzy 16. Malaise 17. Restless limbs/body 18. Metallic taste in mouth 19. “Brain Zaps” 20. Chest pain/tightness 21. Sensitive skin/Bruise and Bleed easily 22. Sporadic Appetite Emotional/Mental Withdrawal Symptoms 1. Anxiety 2. Unease/Nervous/Paranoid 3. Moody 4. Irritable 5. Anger 6. Rage 7. Depression 8. Crying 9. Emotional Lability 10. Jittery 11. Memory Loss 12. Concentration Issues/Can’t think straight or function 13. Confused/Disoriented 14. Easily scared/gasp from fear 15. Strange/vivid/intense dreams/nightmares Has anybody experienced anything similar to these symptoms?
  4. Hey Guys, Name's Kittie. Go by SailorMew on here. I'm 22. Diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and PTSD. Have some anxiety thrown in there as well but not enough for a full GAD diagnosis, but rather as more of a symptom of the other two diagnoses. I've been in and out of therapy since I was in 3rd grade, and on and off meds since I was 14. Finally found a mix that helped. Got put on Seroquel and Lamictal in April of 2016. As well as .25 of Xanax as needed for panic attacks. My ending doses before I started to taper were Lamictal 100mg 2x day morning and night Seroquel 100 1x day night Xanax .25 as needed I've been doing better. Hit a plateau. Found a new therapist to start Rapid Resolution Therapy with, high hopes for this one. Going to get my trauma figured out. The other day (2/22/2017) I actually missed my whole nighttime dose of medication because I fell asleep on the couch and then woke up and went directly to bed. The next morning I woke up at 7 am, which is unusual for me, fresh, energized and in a great mood. I've missed my meds before but I haven't felt that great in a while. I took my normal 100mg Lamictal that morning. Felt a little woozy but felt fine after taking the Lamictal. Had a great day. Forgot I could feel so much. Decided that my progress has plateaued with the meds and maybe its time to get off of them now, and learn to continue progress without meds, at least this one for now. I was initially put on it for sleep, in any case, and at such a low dosage it's mostly considered an antihistamine more than an antipsychotic. Although what I experienced that day could be considered maybe a hypomanic state, but since I'm not bipolar I don't have much worry over this. Personally, I just attribute it to the lack of zombie-inducing Seroquel in my system. (they say it's completely out within 48 hours, since I only take it every 24 hours and had missed a dose, it was already out IMO). Last night (2/23/2017) I decided to start my taper since I had already missed a dose. (good idea? bad? I don't know) I took 100 Lamictal as per usual. and 90mg of Seroquel. I used 1 50mg tablet and another 50mg tablet that I cut up to into quarters and only took 3 of 4 quarters. right before I took it I still felt kinda wired. once it set in sleep was normal. This morning (2/24/2017) I had the day off, so I slept in. woke up groggy, feeling kinda useless. definitely feeling the Seroquel back in my system. This sucks, I think to myself. Oh well. I read something that just the day before I would have gotten really emotional and inspired over, whereas today I was more like, hm, yeah, that's nice *apathy* towards. As the day goes on it starts wearing off a little more and I feel more lively. I take a nap around 6 pm and I wake up feeling a little more like the day before. Maybe I slept off the rest of it. Tonight I will take the same amount (90mg) before bed. Going to let this dose stabilize and then drop to 80mg. Just sharing my experience. Tips, tricks, and advice on tapering Seroquel welcome. Anyone on the same combination of meds and/or with the same disorders, your input is especially valuable! PS. I know it's ill advised to make decisions about your medication, while not on said mediation. I've taken that into account, considered it thoroughly withdrawal and side effects included, and I've consulted my close ones and gained support with this decision. I am currently trying to get in contact with my Psych, their office is hard to get a hold of (*cough* the secretary sucks *cough*) Generally though, she is more than supportive of whatever I choose to do with my medications. This is because I've been in the psych circuit for a long time, correctly self-diagnosed where professionals were constantly misdiagnosing me (as bipolar, ADHD, and a plethora of other things) (diagnosis confirmed while in DBT treatment), and because I've done my own extensive research on what works and doesn't work for my particular disorders. (Mostly everything I read points to Seroquel and Lamictal being the only effective meds. DBT is still the best therapy modality for it, in combination with trauma-focused approaches. I've found this to be true through personal experience) But I digress. Thanks!
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