Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'bupropion'.



More search options

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Support
    • Read This First
    • Introductions and updates
    • Tapering
    • Symptoms and self-care
    • Finding meaning
    • Relationships and social life
  • Members only
  • Current events
    • Events, controversies, actions
    • In the media
    • Success stories: Recovery from withdrawal
    • From journals and scientific sources

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Found 66 results

  1. Hi there, I have been reading quite a few topics on this website, and would like to see if anyone has suggestions for my situation. I was put on effexor and wellbutrin over 5 years ago. I am not exactly sure of the exact time length I have been on it, and what doses I have tried, but the past few years I have been on 150mg of effexor and 150 mg of wellbutrin. My dr and I decided I can come off the effexor on a tapered schedule. Basically I was tapered from 150 to 75 to 37.5 to nothing in just over a month or there abouts. I didnt keep a track of the dates, which I probably should have. The tapering was ok, I didnt really notice anything happening. Then when I went from 37.5 to nothing, it really hit me. I had all the discussed symptoms and was a mess. I think July 25 was my last day on effexor. In August I think I had two or three good days, and I use the term good loosely here. September I had about 10 good days, October, is only at 8 good days so far. These day are not all in a row, they are very sporadic. I recently started a new job, but it only goes for another month. That has me really stressed out, as I have no savings to fall back on and no job lined up yet. My job I am currently at is good though, it has me outside in the forest, getting lots of exercise and lots of fresh air. Since about October 11, I have been having these crazy crying fits. I just cry, and cry. When I am not crying, I feel ok, but then I start crying hours later. I did go to the walk in clinic, as I cannot get into see my fam dr with my work schedule, and the dr at the walk in suggested I try doubling my wellbutrin either every day, or I could double it up every second day. He said this will still take a month before I start feeling any better, if I do. This morning, out of desperation, I took a second pill and I will continue with this, unless someone has another suggestion... Does anyone have any experience with this? When I have a good day, I still have a tightness in my chest, and I know I am so close to tears, but I am able to ward them off. I find I have to keep myself super busy to not cry, or think, as htinking leads to tears. Today is another rough day, lots of crying already. I do not want to go back on effexor, as my mind has never felt so crisp and clear. I feel unfogged and alert, I do not remember ever feeling like this. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
  2. Hello, and many thanks to this website for being so informative! I only wish that I had known about this site a few years ago (or even a few months ago). Here is why - My 19 year old daughter is, I believe, now going through Bupropion withdrawal. It's hard to know for sure because a virus *could* be partly to blame. Either way, she is too out of it to be her own advocate right now so I am trying to learn as much s possible so that I can best help her. My daughter began taking Bupropion (150mg) in the summer of 2016 for pretty severe depression. In the winter of 2017, Fluvoxamine 100mg was added for OCD. Gabapentin (900mg per day) was added about 9 months ago for nervousness. During this time we moved and had to switch doctors. The new doctor changed her Bupropion to the 150mg XL (extended release) formula about 6 months ago. She was previously taking the 75mg SR version twice per day. It was soon after our move, which corresponded to the new doctor and new Bupropion formula, that my daughter's mental health seemed to take a downturn. In the past 4-5 months in particular she has stayed in bed most days with a low mood. She also started having a tremor in her hands and feelings of nausea off and on. I contacted her PCP in August this year to share my concern and was told it was probably a virus and that she would feel better soon...but she only got worse. A month later the nausea got so bad that she began vomiting all the time. After 5 days of this severe vomiting with no other viral symptoms, the doctors agreed to run tests. We found her ALT to be elevated, and this was concerning in regards to the Bupropion so it was agreed that she would stop taking the Bupropion. Her PCP recommended that she titer by half every 3 days. I thought that I was being cautious by making this a week instead of 3 days. Now, after a month, she is on 18.75mg every other day of the Bupropion SR. Her psychiatrist says she should be off it by now, but I have added this every other day titration at this point and I'm not sure where to go from here. The psychiatrist wants her off the Bupropion so that Lamictal can be started. I'm still not sure about starting another drug at this point! Anyway... To make things even more complicated, we tested her blood for the Epstein Barr Virus (EBV) and her result was borderline (technically they call it "equivocal"). She had mono (which is caused by the EBV) two years ago and got very, very sick then. The fatigue she is experiencing could be related...or not. It's hard to tell. Her PCP feels her fatigue is depression related. The psychiatrist thinks it could have something to do with the EBV. She will be re-tested for EBV next week. And to make things even MORE complicated, her psychiatrist said we should take her off the Gabapentin by reducing one 300mg pill per week. I hired another psychiatrist to oversee psychiatrist number 1 and he said that we could reduce the Gabapentin every 2 weeks but that he did not want to wait longer than that because he wants her to start the Lamictal. We took away one pill almost two weeks ago. Right now my daughter's main symptom is fatigue. She is in bed 90% of the time. She had to drop out of college this semester. She is also super depressed. She was having intense nightmares and sleepless nights these past few months, waking up each morning screaming, but that seems to have gotten a bit better (no waking up screaming the past few weeks). The good news is that her tremor is gone! She does get a little more agitated than normal as well. My daughter is currently taking fish oil (900mg/per meal) and vitamin D3 (5000IU/day) as supplements, and last night she took her first dose of Melatonin 0.3mg. She also takes birth control pills for PCOS. I believe that these pills might be behind her depression but at this point I don't want to jar her system further by removing/changing them. As soon as we can we will address this. My quandaries now are: - How to proceed with Bupropion (currently on 18.75mg every other day - doctor does not want her to reduce more because he wants her to start on Lamictal). - How to proceed with the Gabapentin (doctor says 1 pill per 2 week titer and I worry about this) - Do we give Lamictal a chance? Once she is stabilized, she will begin tapering the Fluvoxamine. We don't think it's really helping her. I now know that this needs to be done at 10% increments each month for years. We will think more about this when the time comes. For now I want to make sure that she is able to get through this Bupropion and Gabapentin withdrawal. If anyone here has any insight or knowledge to share then I would really appreciate it. Thank you, Snek (I chose this name because my daughter loves snakes and this is a cute word she uses for them - she does still smile when I show her pictures of cute snakes so I now love snakes too)
  3. Hi I have been on Wellbutrin 150 XL for 4 years. I tried to cold turkey 2 years ago, and spent 5 days unable to get out of bed. Due to loss of insurance, and really wanting to be off meds, I am tapering again. I received Wellbutrin 75mg IR (immediate release). I was going to start off with a slow taper, however the IR pills have been a roller coaster. When I first take the pill I am irritable and agitated for about 3 hours. And then I become lethargic and tired until my next dose. Due to these ups and downs I had to reduce the dosage pretty quickly. I take 3 doses a day. 3/8 in the morning, 3/8 at lunch, and 1/4 in the evening. For a total of 75 mg a day. I started tapering 2 weeks ago, and finally now feel pretty stable. Honestly, the best time for me is when i first wake up. After I take my first dose I get irritable and agitated. I am planning on doing another reduction tomorrow, and just cannot wait to get off this medicine. I am supplementing with lots of Omega 3s, multivitamin, magnesium and vitamin B. Hope to use this as a journal, documenting my taper. Thank you for reading.
  4. Cigarettes at age 11. Alcohol periodically from age 13 to age 30. Valium episodically from age 18 to age 27. I have been on myriad anti-depressants since 1982 for major depression and generalized anxiety. Imipramine, desyrel, ativan. Off drugs from 1984 till 1995. Started Prozac 1995 till 2014 (did well from 1995 to 2011). Tried Wellbutrin, Cymbalta. Abilify and Trintellix from March 2014 till August 8, 2017 (depression free). Had to withdraw due to cervical dystonia and tremors which still persist. Terrible experience withdrawing from Abilify and Trintellix. Started Wellbutrin 150 mg. and Prozac 10 mg. for one week to help with withdrawal. Then increased Wellbutrin to 300 mg. and experienced ringing in ears; stopped the Wellbutrin and increased Prozac to 20 mg. (10 in A.M.; 10 in P.M.) Now on Prozac 20 mg. per day, occasional Propranolol for tremors (doesn't help). I've read that coming off Abilify can take up to 3 months or more, and it has been 2 months so far. I feel like I've spent (wasted) my entire adult life trying to feel better, first by self-medicating, then by psychiatric medicating. I'm 72 years old. I wonder if there is any hope for me.
  5. I'm a 27 year old female and I was prescribed to Wellbutrin a year and a half ago. I had never taken any type of psychiatric medication previous to this, and was prescribed to Wellbutrin by a physician that insisted it would help with the depressive symptoms that I was experiencing due to a generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). My primary disorder at the time was GAD, and the only reason that I was experiencing depressive symptoms, is because of the change in my demeanor since becoming constantly worried about the possibility of having an anxiety attack in any social situation. The first time that I went to see a general practitioner about my general anxiety disorder, she immediately wrote me a prescription for Prozac, I took the medication a grand total of three days before having a pretty bad car accident while driving my brother to school. I went back to the doctor and she decided that it would be better if I tried going the antidepressant route. At the time I started Wellbutrin I was in my first semester of graduate school and the effects of Wellbutrin were welcome. I was able to concentrate better than ever before, and was getting all A's in school. It went this way for a little over a year, until 3 months ago when I started seeing a return of my panic attacks. I went back to the doctor and she told me that it sounded like I was building up a resistance to the dosage of medication that I was taking. I was taking a once daily immediate release dosage of 75 mg of Wellbutrin at the time and she decided it would be a good idea to up my dosage to 100 mg of sustained release in order to get me back to a base line. I went home with the medication and thought about what the up dosage meant. I had a lot to consider... I didn't want to be dependent on the medication for the rest of my life. Especially since I was taking an antidepressant medication when I didn't even actually have depression. That day I decided that I was going to quit the medication altogether.. without my doctor’s consent… I had NO IDEA how bad of an idea that would turn out to be. Fast forward to a week and a half after trying to quit wellbutrin cold turkey and I was a COMPLETE DISASTER. I was experiencing suicidal ideation (the first time I’d ever had ANY thoughts like this), MAJOR anhedonia, memory issues and extreme fatigue. I went back to my doctor to get help, because I was scared of what I was going to do. Long story short, she ended up putting me on the Wellbutrin SR 100 mg anyways so that I could level out before I started my taper process. I took the 100 mg SR every day for about 2 weeks and was having some really uncomfortable side effects. So I decided it was time for me to start weening myself off of it. I took the 100 mg SR every other day for two weeks and then every two days for another two weeks, so all in all I tapered off of the medication over a month. I know now that this was WAY too fast, but it’s too late for me to try to go back on it for a slower taper. I’m just wondering if anyone else has a similar story to mine, that can tell me what kind of recovery timeline I’m looking at. I’m experiencing some pretty sever anhedonia and memory/concentration issues that present themselves in waves.
  6. I need help, i have been taking wellbutrin xl 300mg for years and decided to stop cold turkey. It wasnt until after 3 weeks that i started feeling major w/d symptoms. I started taking them again and after 3 days still feeling w/d is this normal?
  7. Hi, guys. My depression started over 15 years ago and I came to the point when I wanted to end up my life, but I've failed. So my journey from one shrink to another began. I've found a good one when my depression was at my worse. I wasn't happy about taking any medications, because the lack of knowledge in psychiatry field (I'm a nurse with some practice in mental facilities as well and I'm not happy about the things I've seen there nor the general thinking from many doctors and other medical stuff. I was also amazed about the lack of knowledge and common sense in them as well). My depression was so bad that I gave up and started using paroxetine. I had some side effects, but withdrawal after few months was much worse. The vertigo and headaches were horrible. And depression was still there in it's best. I was then on few other SSRI and SNRI, none of them worked (fluoxetine, paroxetine, sertraline, escitalopram, tianeptine, venlafaxine, duloxetine), but all of them gave me their own special withdrawal symptoms. At least I knew I wasn't getting sugar pills. In the meantime I also developed panic attacks and severe anxiety. After few years I suggested switcing to bupropion and I was getting better for the first time. I was also taking clonazepam the whole time. I'm feeling fine for over 4 years now but I had to wait with taper due to some other pain related medical condition. I was adviced to start taper clonazepam first (I started taper 4 months ago). What a mistake! I was on 2mg daily and managed to taper to 1mg. Than I suggested my GP and shrink to taper bupropion as well, because it was making taper heavier and none of them were happy with my suggestion. I have my GP on my side now after seeing me in really bad condition a couple of times. Right now I'm taking 0,875mg of clonazepam and 300mg of gabapentin (started a week ago and I'm not on final dose which will be around 600-900mg) because of my pain related condition. It also helps with the withdrawal. I'm well aware that it has a WD of it's own, it's a risk I'm willing to pay considering the current options. I took my last dose of bupropion today and I will give myself a little brake until the end of this month. In january I'll continue to taper clonazepam. I'm not a native english speaker and I appologize for potential weird (ab)use of grammar. I'm sure you've seen worse due to my current taper I'm also not very good with words.
  8. Hello Everyone, Has anyone had a successful taper from wellbutrin 300XL? I would appreciate any feedback. The doctor wants me to drop to 250 mg, but I'm kind of scared because that's more than a 10% drop. He says that wellbutrin is easy to withdraw from. (?????) Thanks so much!
  9. I'm new here. I have been on various SSRIs for 22 years and depressed since I was at least age 12. I went off the latest SSRI, generic Lexapro, because I have gained 30+ pounds over the last few years, needed at least 12 hours per day of sleep and still wasn't happy. I am on the max of Bruproprion. It doesn't seem to have any unwanted side effects. It is supposed to be at least weight neutral when taken without other drugs. The physical withdrawal effects are brain zaps, ringing in the ears, dizziness and nausea. These aren't 24/7 and they may be subsiding. Hard to say. I tapered from 10mg of Lex to 5mg to 5 every other day. I did this starting beginning mid-June. My struggle is that I fear my depression is returning. I feel like I will never be OK. I also don't want to become anti-psych med or anti doctor but I wonder if I wasted years of my life on meds that never worked or if this is the way it will always be.
  10. Hi, Since June 2016, I've taken bupropion XL. 150mg a day for first month, 300 for second month, and then on, 450mg a day until May 2018. As far as I could notice, it did not effect my sexuality either negatively or positively. Around, I believe, the middle-to-end of May this year, I stopped the bupropion pretty much cold turkey because I thought it was just elevating my anxiety and not really helping depression. I did not, at the time, believe I had any negative withdrawal symptoms. It seemed pretty painless. At the beginning of this August, I started taking 150mg of bupropion a day again because I thought - why not - see one more time if a lower dose can help while not increasing your anxiety. Now, though, I'm considering if my noticeable sexual dissatisfaction/lowered libido for the past little while may be connected to my cold turkey discontinuation of bupropion back in May. I'm not 100% sure - I couldn't say exactly how much my current sexual dissatisfaction aligns with the discontinuation, since I hadn't thought to watch for that (I thought bupropion couldn't cause negative sexual side effects.) But based on what I do remember, it seems like a very real possibility, which makes me scared of PSSD (so to speak, since bupropion is not an SSRI.) As I said, I reinstated the bupropion at the beginning of August at 150mg XL a day. In terms of effects, I wonder if for this past week it might be elevating my anxieties again, though It could just be my natural anxiety going into overdrive in reaction to the possibility of PSSD. I don't think there's been a positive effect on my sexuality over the month - though it's seemed a bit more okay these past two days, but that could very well be due to hormones from my period that just arrived, or from abstaining a few days from sexual activity before hand. I don't think it's had a negative effect either - my sexuality has been noticeably not good over the course of this month, but my best guess is that this predates the reinstatement. (But I will admit that I am working off of imperfect memory and not careful tracking.) If it is indeed a symptom of the withdrawal/discontinuation, I am wondering if I should be tapering off (safety and slowly, this time,) or if I should basically continue with the reinstatement in some manner. This site says that reinstatement for withdrawal symptoms is most likely to work within a month and gets more unpredictable the later you go on. It's been 3 to 3.5 months since my discontinuation of 450mg bupropion, and about 1 month now since my 150mg reinstatement. I am worried that, if this was induced by the discontinuation, staying on the medication that caused the problem will potentially cause more long-term damage. But I am also worried that this might be my best opportunity left for reinstatement to work, if it will work, since it's been sub-4 months since the cold turkey discontinuation. What should I do? What is the safest bet here to preserve and heal sexual functioning? Taper off, stay on 150mg longer (and for how much longer?), or increase dosage (and if so, increase it to what, for how long)? Is a reinstatement of this nature likely to work on PSSD symptoms? Is it worth the risk? I do still have some sexual functioning/libido, which I value and can enjoy, even if it's noticeably not what it used to be in the earlier months of this year. I really don't want things to get worse. But of course, I'll be unhappy if they don't ever get better again, either. Is there a wrong choice, here? In honesty: a very large part of me feels sick and anxious at the idea of staying on any longer than necessary, in fear that staying on will potentially cause more long term damage. I *want* to start tapering off safely as soon as possible. And I don't want the possible further elevated anxiety of increasing doses. But I worry I won't heal this possible PSSD naturally, either, and that I'm missing my best chance here by not reinstating further. And not knowing how to proceed - fear of making the wrong choice - is distressing me. Other questions: - Before this, I have never considered myself even remotely sensitive to withdrawal symptoms. I'd cold turkey'd off of, or tapered down fast from, a variety of drugs without any apparent consequence. Even with this most recent CT off the bupropion, the sexual dissatisfaction is the only thing I can think to possibly associate with the discontinuation. How should this information effect my decision, if at all, and does my historical insensitivity to withdrawal symptoms possibly make it more likely that this particular symptom - if it is a withdrawal symptom - will heal naturally? - If this is PSSD, then it's noticeable and I want it fixed, but it's not as severe as I know other people's symptoms are. I do still have some sexual functioning which I can enjoy to a certain extent. Could this also make the chance of natural recovery more likely? - I have not had the chance to discuss the situation fully with my GP yet and tell him my concerns over possible sexual dysfunction caused by discontinuation. I don't know how that information might effect his advice. But, my pharmacist called him and absent these full details, my GP recommends as a process for weaning off bupropion - should I choose to do so - to updose for 2 weeks to 200mg SR (as opposed to 150mg XR I'm on now) and then taper off, I think, by 100mg every two weeks. I already know that's way faster than what this site recommends, but what about the initial up dose to 200mg? Is that a bad/good idea? What is the value in it? I will be seeing my GP to discuss this with him in a week. Thanks.
  11. I've been taking these meds for years. I've been on them mostly for extreme anxiety and depression. What do I need to help with anxiety and depression as I try to get off of them so I can stay off of them. Also, how bad is getting off of fluoxetine, trazodone, wellbutrin compared to getting off of Effexor? Getting off of Effexor was pretty hellish.
  12. I recently got pregnant and went from 10mg paxil to 5mg in one week and then completely stopped. I then had a miscarriage (about 2 months ago) and am having severe withdrawal symptoms. Would it be safe to go back on a low dose of paxil and try to taper off properly, or is it too late? I am miserable! Thanks in advance. Update as of March 29, 2017: Link to post below
  13. I weened off my Welbutrin and almost done weening off my Lexapro. It took almost a year now but with a lot of time staying at the same dose (could've taken a lot shorter amount of time but procrastinated initiating dosage drop). Just wanted to let everyone know that I used 5 htp to help with withdrawal symptoms (mainly light headedness/ brain flashes). and it really helped. I basically stopped the Welbutrin cold turkey with taking about 200 - 300 mg of 5 htp for about a week then lowering the 5 htp dramatically and that really helped. The lexapro is harder but the 5 htp really helps. I don't come on this website often so I you guys are always already talking about 5 htp sorry for the redundancy. I just felt the responsibility to come on here and let everyone know. I was on Lexapro 20 mg and Welbutrin 300 mg and now I'm off. and my sex drive is back and I feel emotionally fine because they were probably a placebo in the first place. good luck
  14. 26/F. Depression/anxiety. History of being somewhat underweight. Family history of severe mood disorders. My brother killed himself about 6 months ago. 2007-2013: Lexapro 10-20 mg. Took this on and off, with 2 cold turkey "quits." I remember it took about 7-8 days of sleeping and withdrawal symptoms both times. Luckily this time around, my SSRI has a much longer half-life, and wellbutrin has been pretty tame so far in terms of withdrawl side effects. 2015: Moved out of state by myself. Lived alone. Started seeing psychiatrist regularly. After trying: citalopram, sertraline, and the SR version of bupropion, my stable prescription has been 150 mg bupropion XL (wellbutrin) and 30 mg fluoxetine (prozac) in the morning everyday. Wellbutrin was my "Godsend." I was crying for 12 hours a day for no reason. Wellbutrin made it possible to get out of bed. 2017: Moved back with family. They're feeding me and taking care of me. I'm trying a taper because of side effects. There are so many "mild" ones that it's difficult to even identify them anymore - I've accepted them as just "normal". The dizziness, the foggy brain, the random "blank" moments when I forget what I'm saying mid-sentence. GI symptoms... Etc. I stopped the wellbutrin earlier this week. According to this website: https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/going-off-antidepressants it should be out my system 99% by now. Keeping the prozac consistent. I have a ~10 or so pills of .025 generic xanax that I'm keeping for panic attack emergencies or acute withdrawal symptoms. I'm taking 3 capsules of 10mg each. I might try dropping one whole capsule for a week and see how I do. I will be of work for a few weeks so it will be a good time to experiment. I'm trying to add lifestyles changes that will help me manage depression. Here is what I am trying right now, in approximate order of perceived efficacy: 1. exercise: 3-5 days a week, trying to get 150min of moderate cardio and 2 days of full body strength (per CDC recommendation). Has helped with mood, self-esteem, dramatically improved sleep quality and appetite. 2. meditation: using an app for this. started with 3 minutes, went up to 10. Haven't done it the last few days, will start again tonight. 3. sleeping hygiene - work in progress. 4. diet: avoiding processed foods and junk foods, eating 3 good meals a day, lots of water. I have been experiencing huge pangs of thirst since stopping wellbutrin. I'm taking a few supplements (curcumin, probiotics, among others) but I don't know if that's doing anything. I'm interested in "gut health" - apparently there's a huge connection between the gut and the brain, eh? Trying to take care of it. I'm also reading some books. Currently reading Upward Spiral. Has anyone read it? Here's the description: "Depression can feel like a downward spiral, pulling you into a vortex of sadness, fatigue, and apathy. In The Upward Spiral, neuroscientist Alex Korb demystifies the intricate brain processes that cause depression and offers a practical and effective approach to getting better. Based on the latest research in neuroscience, this book provides dozens of straightforward tips you can do every day to rewire your brain and create an upward spiral towards a happier, healthier life." Here's to managing symptoms... of the meds, withdrawal symptoms, and depression.
  15. I have been on Wellbutrin for the last 10 years. I am currently on 300 mg of bupropion extended release. This will be my third attempt to taper off successfully. This time I have prepped my body and created a conducive environment to successfully taper off. I've followed the pre-taper protocol of a few holistic psychiatrists, mainly Dr. Kelly Brogan. Can anyone who has successfully tapered off Wellbutrin recommend a tapering schedule? Also, did you have the drug compounded into a liquid to taper or just taper down using the tablets? The compounding pharmacy said that they couldn't create a compounded version of the extended release of the Wellbutrin; it would just be immediate release. Is this true?
  16. Hi everyone, I am new and super happy to be here. I have been on Prozac 20mg and Wellbutrin XL 300 for twenty five years. I have tried to get off a few times but was not successful. I started to taper in Jan and was down to half doses on May first. The withdraw, specifically anger and self hate became too intense and I went back to old doses two weeks ago. Now I feel like crap. Side effects are harsh and benefit little. I feel like I have let an angry tiger out of the cage and can't get it back in. I am thinking of going back to the half doses and just dealing with the emotional stuff by working out. I started yoga in Jan but maybe harder cardio is the way to get the anger out. Problem is that I am also very tired. I work and come home and go to bed. I journal, go to AA meetings been sober over 15 years. I feel like I am a mess. I am wondering about some of the natural antidepressants like SamE or 5HTP? I just feel like my brain is raw and hurts. Any ideas on how to supplement and sooth my brain? thanks, and I also will stop the taper and work with my doctor but can't see him for another month so that is why I am thinking of going back to the Prozac 10 and Wellbutrin 150 that I have been taking for the past couple of months.
  17. Hi to everyone and thank you for accepting me into this group. I was planning on tapering from my Wellbutrin after I had been stable on it for a couple of months. I have only been taking it since January but had been experiencing what I thought were just increased anxiety and agitation from it. I was inpatient at the time and the doctors told me that those weren't side effects and it was just my own anxiety. I have a long history of panic disorder which was under control until my husband and I decided to move to another city due to a job change. After I left the hospital it took a month to be able to get in to see a psychiatrist. Unfortunately she had a very strong accent and though I think accents are neat I have had trouble understanding people with accents since I had surgery to correct a badly deviated septum. So I had to wait another month to see a different psychiatrist. I was having a horrible time on the Bupropione the whole time but I was able to get some help from a mental health urgent care clinic.They increased my Buspirone from 30 mg to 50 mg which really helped with the anxiety I was experiencing from the Buproprion, I finally got in to see a new psychiatrist and the first thing she wanted to do was take me off the clonazepam. She wanted to cut my dose in half but I only cut it by a quarter. About five days later I was in full blown withdrawal and she wouldn't believe me. She said if I was in withdrawal I would be in the hospital. I have been going to a group and one of the facilitators told me I should go back to the mental health urgent care which I did the next day and they referred me to an addictionologist. He has been wonderful. He confirmed that I was indeed in withdrawal. I was pretty much through it by that time but at least he understood. It had been about three weeks since I had tapered down on the clonazepam and he recognized that the bupropirone was causing me problems so he told me to drop it to half. After my recent experience I chose to drop it by .25 again. I went straight into severe withdrawal and he reinstated the medication after only two days of a reduction. At this point I would wake up every morning with severe trembling and anxiety so I switched my night time clonazepam to the morning and that caused those symptoms to remit. I was feeling really good and enjoying my days. Getting out into the sunlight, walking my dog, mowing the lawn. It was great. Anyway I learned about a device called Cranial Electrotherapy Stimulation (CES) that is supposed to help you with anxiety and depression and since I want to get off my medications I discussed it with my psychiatrist. He thought it would work so he gave me a prescription for it. I started using it 15 days ago. The first two days were great. I woke up with no anxiety and I felt even better than ever. Then I started having increased anxiety on the third day. One of the things that the CES device can do is increase the effectivness of your medications, and their side effects. About a week into my use of the device the side effects from the Buproprion became intolerable. It turned out that the clonazepam had been disguising akathisia and the CES brought it out. Of course this happened over Memorial Day Weekend so I was left to my own devices and the wonderful counsel of my concerned husband. We decided to drop my Buproprian to 75 mg IR to see if that would help. Unfortunately it did not. I didn't seem to have any withdrawal symptoms either though. On Tuesday we went in to see my Dr and he recommended a beta blocker for the side effect. It worked wonderfully. Unfortunately it also caused me to become depressed. The Dr recommended that I go off the medication completely at this point. So starting the next day on June 1 I went cold turkey. The withdrawal symptoms started immediately. I have had crying spells and unending anxiety. I have continued to use the CES as it is reputed to help with withdrawal symptoms and to help prevent relapsing into depression. It seems to help but not as much as I would like it too. I know that my brain has to remodel itself and it will take time even with the help of the CES device. I have also been using L-theanine which helps a little. I am really trying to find some way to reduce the anxiety as it has turned me into a severe agoraphobic. I hide in my basement so I don't even have to look outside because that is anxiety producing in itself. The only way I have been keeping sane is to keep my brain occupied by surfing the net. I have also been reading The Mood Cure trying to find something that will help with the anxiety. I do have extra clonazepam that the Dr gave me and I have Baclofen but I don't want to have any more addictions than I already do. Once I get off the Buproprion I am planning a liquid taper of the clonazepam. I really feel like I am in between a rock and a hard place because if I reinstate the Buproprion at all then I have the akathisia to deal with and the medication for it makes me depressed. I would really love any input that anyone has for me. I have been thiking of trying some of the following for the anxiety. Lemon Balm Valerian Root Inositol Niacinamide (the Niacin makes me itchy from the histamine release) L-glycine Taurine Ashwaghanda I even read that someone coming off of Buprorpion had some success with L-phenalalanine but I have anxiety issues so I don't know if that would be counter productive or helpful becasue going off of the Buproprion is what is causing this. I'm also afraid of long term consequences to the cold turkey but I don't know what else I could have done. I would really appreciate any comments or suggestions. Thank you, and thank you for this wonderful group.
  18. Hello all- i just want to introduce myself to the group. I have been a long time reader and follower. I just decided to create account. I will be totally honest.\ Back in 2014 Started using steroids to enhance my body building. I never used before but all my coworkers used them and so i started a 8 week cycle. After stopping them and going through the whole post cycle therapy, i started to experience what i did not know at the time was anxiety attacks for no apparent reason. Please note i never had panic or anxiety attacks before. On July 4, 2014 i experienced a full panic attack while sitting down watching TV. This panic attack felt like i was going to die! I was short of breath, sweating, dizzy, like i was about to faint. Right after that attack i was not the same. I felt the after effects. i was scared to have another one, i had brain fog, anxiety, Depersonalization, suicidal thought which scared me to my wits. I became depressed because i didn't know what was wrong with me. I stayed that way for two days, until i went to urgent care. I was given a injection and calmed down for the rest of the day. I was sent home with xanax, and instructions to see a Psychiatrist. Once i seen the doctor she diagnosed me with GAD. Wrote me prescription for Escitalopram 10mg, and xanax 0.25mg as needed. I started taking the Escitalopram 10 mg at night and immediately couldn't sleep, had racing thoughts, and was more anxious. Next day she instructed me to take it in the morning. That seem to do work better than taking it at night. Eventually my symptoms were gone except that i was tired alot and my libido was down. She prescribed me Bupropion SR 150 which i made me feel like my mind was going 100 mph. I stopped Bupropion SR 150 and she switched me to Bupropion Xl 150 and then 300 mg which combated the tiredness. At this dose of Bupropion XL i had motivation, my libidio returned, and my energy level improved. Fast forward to last year November 2016 when i decided i want to give it a shot and taper off lexapro first. With my doctor agreeing with me, i started to cut the 10 mg pill into 4 pieces. I weaned myself down to the point that i couldn't cut the 5mg pills to get a accurate dose. That's when i researched on SAD on how turn Escitalopram into a liquid form. See my signature for my tapering doses. Recently my employer started restructuring the company, Unsure of my future i started interviewing and testing for other potential employers. During the interviews i was so nervous i took 0.25mg xanax to calm me down. This was last month in August 2017. My latest taper was on August 14, 2017 i was at 0.7mg and reduced to 0.6mg/1.2ml - 2:1 ratio of Escitalopram. During on of the testing for this new job i was on the verge of having a panic attack. Not sure why since i was not nervous nor worried about the testing portion. I had no choice but to push through since we could not leave the room at all! I managed to finish the test but i was not feeling to good, so i took 0.25mg of Xanax which helped. After the testing episode i have been noticing that when i go into a important meeting i start to panic. i get dizzy, sweaty, and anxious. I feel like i want to run out of there. It got to the point that before one certain interview with a potential employer i have taken 0.125mg of xanax to get through it. And after all that i actually go the job! I decided to return to my latest dose i felt i was stable at which was 0.7mg/1.4ml of Escitalopram in liquid form. I increased my dose on September 10, 2017 I was hoping this will help. I was ok for 3 days until i had to make more liquid Escitalopram with distilled water. I bought some 10ml bottles so just in case i have to travel i have a small enough jar or vial to carry around. So after this mixture the new ratio will be 1:1. I crushed two 5mg pill of Escitalopram and added 10ml of distilled water. After a couple of hours i took my dose at 0.7ml = 0.7 mg 1:1 ratio. I am not sure what happened but maybe the powder that sits at bottom didn't have enough space to properly mix with the water, because right after i took this dose i was on the verge of having a panic attack and i haven't been the same since. I had to do breathing techniques. That worked for like 15 minutes but i was very irritated, i couldn't stay still, i had racing thoughts coming into my head, heart was pounding, i felt dizzy. I had to take 0.25mg to calm down to be able to sleep. i woke up around 1100pm the same night and felt anxious and i took a extra 0.125 mg of xanax again to fall asleep. I had to call in sick to a golf tournament with my new boss, and some clients. Now ever since then i have been on edge, i feel ok one moment and the next, i am anxious, i get racing thoughts, my left eye is twitching a lot. i worry that i won't be able to perform at my new job which is very demanding. Yesterday i did my original mixture of Escitalopram 2:1 ration in a slightly larger jar and i took my dose at 1.4ml/0.7mg of Escitalopram and bupropion xl 300 mg. I did not have the same episode i did the previous night. I this point i don't know what to do. Should i stay at my current dose and try to stabilize, lower my dose, ??? your help and input is much appreciated. Thanks
  19. I started taking Bupropion HCL SR 150mg 2x/day in August 2015 to help get rid of brain fog, hyperfocusing on annoyances, and mild depression. It helped with all of those things, but I'd intended for it to be a temporary fix as I rode out a few things. I tried to get off of Bupropion in 2016 with the help of my doctor, but even after I told her that I'd been on a lower dose of Wellbutrin about 15 years ago and experienced awful withdrawal, she put me on a 'conservative' taper of 50mg every few weeks. That went badly and I went back on 150mg 2x/day. I then moved (several times) and haven't had access to any doctor that I would trust to help me taper. I hate being dependent on the medicine and knowing that I'll get horribly fatigued & foggy if I miss more than one pill. My heart rate has also been through the roof since I started the medicine, and that worries me. I don't know when I'll get access to a doctor I trust to help me get off the meds, so here I am! The last time I actually got off Wellbutrin I timed it so it so the worst of my withdrawal was during my college break (I went cold turkey), but I don't have that luxury anymore. Excessive brain fog, peevishness, depression, and extreme lethargy are all problems I desperately need to avoid. I have friends telling me that I should wait another year before I'm more stable in my career before tapering (I'm currently entering a new field). While I agree that I can't go through withdrawal right now, I also feel like I've reached a point where I can't stay on the meds any longer either. The plan: 1. Taper super slowly. Less than 10%, hold for four weeks, be ready to reverse the taper in case of any symptoms. 2. Exercise. Run, bike commute, climb, lift, do yoga, etc. At least half an hour of movement a day. 3. Eat well. Greens & fruit every day, plenty of protein. Avoid excessive caffeine, alcohol, and sugar intake. 4. Sleep. 8 hours a night, naps if possible. 5. Try to do some sort of mindfulness thing. Meditate? Gratitude journal? Mood journal? All of the above? Current assessment: 1. Ready to start - I got an equadose pill cutter that can cut the SR tablets into eighths, so with just that I can ensure that the first seven reductions will be less than 10%. Then I'll need to figure out how to make a liquid for reductions past that - I made an excel spreadsheet of a tapering plan (if I hold each taper for four weeks); if I follow it I'll be tapering for over a year. I cut the pill tonight for starting the taper tomorrow. 2 & 3. These are pretty well instituted in my life already - my exercise schedule is one of the reasons I feel like I can do this now - but of course I could always exercise more and eat better. 4. This one is hard for me; I have a bad habit of staying up late. Ironically, this would be easier with a little withdrawal. 5. I don't have a habit of doing this, although it's always a goal. I'm going to put this on to-do lists and leave myself notes, and hopefully I'll remember. I'll also be reminded when I check in here. I feel a bit like I'm jumping out a plane right now - here's hoping the parachute works!
  20. Hi, I am triple m. I found this support site as I was trying to wean my bupropion. 8.5 years of taking this med for a mild situational depression way back then. Never thought to get off, nor did my PCP think of it either. Up until one year ago, felt quite good on it. One year ago in March, as I was beginning to notice a new noice in my ears, and researching possible side effects of med, decided, hey, I need to get off of of this med. Also, wanted to be off. I knew I needed to wean off, so got some MD information on wean schedule. I was afraid of damage occuring to my ears so wanted to get off NOW!!! I started the wean at my dose of 150XL mid June of 2015. I was told I could start by altering days taken. Every month I would change the wean. First month, skip one day, Second month, skip two days, until I could not stay at this rate by the fourth day. Wean was OK up to this point. I then needed to switch to IR. So, My Dr. gave me the IR tablets and I started them at 37.5mg last October. The change from XL to IR was quite difficult all by itself. However, I made that transition but now looking back, NOT over enough time. Through this past fall and winter months, I have made 2-4 week reductions but, the percentages were too high. 25 to 15 percent. Made mostly at 3-4 week intervals. I thought this would be OK as this was taking longer than the PCP wanted me to do. He wanted me to stop at the 37.5mg IR last fall, However, when I recently got down to what I thought was a tiny 1 mg cut at approximately 13mg, I went into terrible discontinuation. I was already struggling with the last cut but I waited 10 weeks to stabilize and then made the last one that turned out to be too much, ( a Math error on my part) and also, had no real way of knowing what dose I was on due to tiny cuts. I now have a mg scale. The discontinuation came on about 7-10 days out and it was horrible. I was frightened for my well being. This , being yesterday was the first time I had to miss work. I have had many of physical and psychological d/c symptoms along the way and have struggled to get through them. Also, I find NO SUPPORT from medical community in this. Many times, MD and others, have told me get on something else, or Why get off??? I have read some articles by James Heany and others and they have been helpful in understanding. Yesterday in desperation, I found James Heany's article on re-instating your SSRI. I did reinstate, not even at the last dose. I went up to the fall dose of 37.5mg IR, twice a day. I am praying that the worst of the d/c symptoms will settle down. What I have learned and Hard is how very dependant on this medication my body has become. SCAREY!!!! I did get Dr. J Glenmullens book and it was very helpful for information. James Heany and now also you guys have all discussed the 10 percent method of discontinuation going from the last dose cut. Maybe I have gone back up too much?? I don't know, but what I do know is that I was very fearful for my well being. I know I am extremely sensitive to any medication. 40 minutes after moving up to the higher dose, I felt immense relief. WOW!!!! I am praying I will stabilize out here. I know it will take at LEAST one month. James Heany mentions if the up dose is too small, it will just take longer to stabilize out. However, what I am most overwhelmed by is that I had no Idea how much my body would come to depend on this med. " Theraputic, easy to get off of med." Not so!!!! What I am committed to now is since I increased to the 37.5mg dose, I am committed to this for a minimum of one month. From here on out, 10 percent cuts. I need some encouragement though, I have felt somewhat defeated as I had to go back up but I can say, " I GET THIS". The extreme dependancy and need to now go so very slow. Now I know the road to recovery will be one of patience and perseverance more so than ever. THis will be hard because I want so badly to be free of this medication. Hoping for support. Thank you. triple M.
  21. Hi new to the forum here. 10 year history on various drugs for anxiety/mild depression with the longest use being 8 years of celexa. So i felt like I was stable in life and the side effects were making me crazy so I talked to my PCP about tapering. I tried to reduce the drug 5mg every 2 weeks (starting at 30 mg) and of course after I was off it was hell (physically - brain zaps, vertigo, motion sickness, etc) for the next 6 weeks until I decided to put myself back on the drug. So I recently went back to my PCP and he recommended genesight testing to find which antidepressant would cause fewer side effects . Results came back that Wellbutrin was he best. I quite celexa cold turkey the day I started taking Wellbutrin. I'm having w/d symptoms again but not as strong - yet. It's been 3 weeks. Mood is fine but body feels bad. I'm reconsidering tapering off drugs completely again. What should I do? Should I d/c Wellbutrin and go back to celexa and taper using 10% method? How does that work??? Should i keep up wii Wellbutrin hoping it kicks in soon and the celexa w/d goes away? One thing that concerns me is that I've learned celexa isnamd SSRI and Wellbutrin SNRI. I've read Wellbutrin acts more on dopamine and norepinephrine than it does serotonin. This probably explains the celexa withdrawal symptoms. I honestly don't want to go back on celexa but if that's he best chance of getting of meds altogether it might be worth! Thanks for your support !!!
  22. Jennifer78

    Jennifer78

    Hello...I'm new to this website and I'm still not sure how this works. I'm looking for some hope I guess that's what you'd call it. I have been on meds for 15 years. Only an SSRI until probably 3 years ago. I was on Celexa 40mg, Abilify 10mg and Wellbutrin XL. I was so over medicated I felt numb and I couldn't function. I didn't know what was wrong with me & then I thought maybe it's to much medicine. I lost my health insurance on 12-01-16 so I couldn't afford all these meds so I stopped taking the Celexa & Abilify on that day. I'm still on Wellbutrin. The reason I stayed on it was I heard it would cause seizures if I cold turkey off it. I did not know I shouldn't of done that with the other 2. It will be 5 months on May 1st that I stopped other 2 meds. The only reason I went on medicine was because I lost my grandmother and I was stressed. My friend suggested I see a Dr so I did. Stupid mistake! I didn't even know Abilify was an antipsychotic until I googled it looking for answers about what was going on with me after stopping meds. I came across discontinue syndrome and then this website. Most psychical symptoms are gone and insomnia has gotten a tiny bit better but the anxiety and I guess it's depression is awful!! I don't have insurance so I can't afford to go back on the meds & go back to not functioning. I'm just wondering if I'm going to make it through this? I'm really worried. God Bless!
  23. In April 2015 I began taking Wellbutrin XL 150mg (1 tab then 2 tabs a couple of weeks later) for smoking cessation for about 10 weeks total including tapering on and off. It ended up making all of my nicotine withdrawal symptoms worse so I tapered off, each week cutting my dose in half. (2 tabs to 1 to ½ to ¼) At the time I was not aware of any potential of any crazy side effects of getting off of the medication except for maybe some tiredness and fatigue. My first day of having no Wellbutrin after tapering off, I had 3 huge panic attacks back to back. I went to prompt care and was given a small prescription of Xanax until I could go to my regular doctor the next day. My Primary Care doctor told me I was having a nervous breakdown and instructed me to take short term disability and start seeing a therapist. (I had also been on Lexapro 10mg since April 2015 as well, but was still on it at this point.) So that’s what I did. I couldn’t work anymore. I could barely function. Because I couldn’t work, I couldn’t keep my place and had to move back home with my parents…at 30. I lost my home, my job, and my social life. For about 4 months I just stared at the ceiling or played a game on my phone. It took me about 3 months to find a good fit for a therapist/counselor. After about 4 months, I went to an alternative medicine doctor who told me I had Candida and Leaky Gut Syndrome. They put me on a million vitamins and probiotics and allergy shots and told me to change my diet completely. (I was used to eating pretty healthy in the past so it wasn’t new for me.) It seemed like as soon as I changed my diet and took all of these vitamins, etc. my body jump started with energy and I felt great! I started a job working from home and could slowly start to function again. I started to notice these symptoms I was having, but they could all be explained away by other things. Dizziness, extreme fatigue, gagging and nausea, heartburn. Everything seemed to have another reason. Then my depression and anxiety got worse. So my (new) primary care doctor increase my Lexapro dosage to 20mg. A few months later, my depression was worse. Doctor said I was at the max dose and the only thing to do was to switch medications. Nope! I didn’t want to be on an SSRI in the first place. A few more months go by and I start doing some research online only to find that ALL of my symptoms are side effects of Lexapro! I was done. 2.5 years I had been on it. I had been encouraged to stay on it when I wanted to get off and I was done! I looked online and found a taper schedule. Every 2 weeks, cut the dose in half. So that’s what I did. (20mg to 10mg to 5mg) November 12, 2017 was my first day Lexapro-free. The tapering process was TERRIBLE. Everything was amplified. It would be really bad for about 3-4 days after each drop in dosage and then ease up a little for a few days and then ease up even more over the next week until the next dosage drop. Symptoms: -Increased Depression -Increased Anxiety -Constant Fatigue -Suicidal thoughts (not like me AT ALL) -Extreme Dizziness -Nausea & gagging -I could barely eat or keep food down -Brain Zaps (argh) After coming completely off, I was still struggling, but it was manageable. The dizziness and nausea were the worst and those seemed to have subsided along with the increased depression and anxiety. Then about 4-5 weeks after being completely off of Lexapro “Phase II” started. And that is the hell hole that I’m in now. Here are my current symptoms: -Crippling Depression (worst in my entire life) -Out of control Anxiety (worst in my entire life) -Extreme fatigue -Nausea -Gagging from Anxiety -Inability to eat very many foods without gagging -Vomiting from Anxiety -Varied Dizziness -Weight loss -Brain Fog -Forgetfulness -Decreased brain processing time -Extremely easily overwhelmed -Constant stress -Increased heart rate that will last all day -Sensitive to loud noises -Derealization (especially right after waking up) -Depressive Rumination (This is hands down the worst symptom. A thought or set of thoughts gets stuck in your brain on an infinite loop and you can’t make it stop. It drives me to near insanity.) I feel like the “real me” is inside of me fighting like hell to get out. None of these symptoms are “me.” I’m not myself at all and it feels terrible. I feel like my brain is broken and it’s not functioning the way it normally does. I’m frustrated, mad, sad, every emotion…except happy. I feel like since finding this forum, I have gained more clarity about what is happening to me. Because none of my friends and family really completely understand this…how extreme this is. The more I learn about WHY or HOW my brain isn’t functioning correctly, the more hopeful I become. Because I can try to find coping mechanisms to help me while my brain heals. Before I found this forum, I thought I was literally going insane and I was going to be trapped inside this insane body forever. I was absolutely terrified. So I just want to say thank you to the people that created this place. I’m pretty sure you’ve saved lives.
  24. In brief: in 2017 took bupropion 150mg 5 days, 300mg 8 days and very abruptly experienced pain in testicles, loss of libido, 80% ED, genital and other skin numbness. Stopped due to this ct and ran into a terrible state including total anhedonia, deep amotivation, loss of appetite, loss of tiredness and panic-like anxiety for multiple weeks. 11 months later no real improvements beside less anxiety, using remeron 15mg and getting some sleep. All in all very wide and disastrous symptoms. So bad, had to leave job and basically have been in bed ever since. Nothing feels and motivates. Lately also quite severe anxiety attacks for hours. Scared and worried about ever recovering. Pssd alone is a tragedy, but having lost all emotions and motivation and will to live is even more devastating. Really sad about the small number of found recovery stories in contrast to number of sufferers. Bupropion is no safer than 'ssri' s. Forget about the categories, they are all poisons. I deeply regret ever taking one, which I did after weeks of thinking. Was so anxious that I fell for the 'marketed safe' one. It turned out to be a disaster and made the original state even worse (depression and anxiety into panic). I am really angry for these poisons and their prescribers being legal. Ready to join into any group/class suite etc. It is unbelievable how the pdocs cover themselves and each other all over the world using same phrases and not even 'believing' the victim. Many say they are clueless, I say they are collegially lying. To them it is nothing if 1 or even 5 in 100 get the devastating lasting symptoms. It is still low enough to claim that everything is due to depression etc. Glad to hear any encouraging recovery stories or talk PM with similar cases.
  25. When I was 15, 2005, I started to have some insomnia and mild depression, it was winter time in Montana so not too much sun, I was diagnosed with SAD. I was started on Lexapro 10 mg and I remember it helped. When summer came around, I think I remember trying to taper off slowly but then having some bad depression. Doctor said I likely had a chemical imbalance and that I would need to stay on the medication for the rest of my life. I was told there weren't long term effects from taking the medication. At some point a few years later, I must have struggled because I was switched to Citalopram 5 mg and after 6 months, went to 10 mg of Citalopram. I don't really remember this point all that well. In 2008 I went on to college and had a successful couple years, grades were good and I had a girlfriend. During the summer I started to experience some major depression and anxiety, I didn't want to get out of bed, I felt scared. After a few days, we decided to go to the doctor and I was switched to Sertraline 50 mg and then a few months later increased to 100 mg. I remained on this dose for almost 7 years. I had graduated college and landed a great job in 2013. I moved away from family for work and when my fiancé finished college in 2014, I moved her down with me, unfortunately, she ended up leaving me suddenly with no warning shortly after and moved away. I was devastated. I remember being hysterical and then very suddenly, felt no emotion at all. At first I was glad that I didn't have to feel the pain, but I didn't feel any joy either. I took two weeks off of work and mainly stayed home alone. The emotions eventually came back and I got better. Since then I have dated a little but nothing serious. I currently live alone In 2017, I started to have some pretty severe depressive episodes, I decided to find a therapist and a psychiatrist and deal with my mental health the 'intelligent' way. Therapy was not too bad, but I really felt like the medication was not working anymore. The psychiatrist decided to start me on bupropion xl 150 mg. I transitioned from Sertraline 100 mg to bupropion xl 300 mg over the course of 2 months. I remember feeling OK, but looking back, I started to feel more and more trapped, afraid of making mistakes, thinking that if I did anything wrong, I was worthless etc. I got my prescription refilled right around Christmas time. I noticed the pills looked different but I wasn't worried about it, I saw it was still the same medication, just a different generic supplier. I started taking that pill Christmas day, within a few days, I started to get very depressed, even though I was working out, eating well and socializing. On that Friday, 5 days later, in the middle of a sprint on my treadmill, I broke down in tears. I was really depressed. I wrote in my journal that night, I was thinking it was all in my head. The next day, I got up early and worked out first thing, I made a list of things to go shopping for and went to the store. I remember taking a long time in the store and feeling very anxious about making the 'wrong' choice on everything. After an hour and a half, I bought what I had and went home. I broke down in tears again. I asked myself what the heck I was thinking about that was making me feel this way. I had been dabbling with journaling and mindfulness. I wrote down a lot of things like "I think I am completely worthless", "I don't know anything", "I'm no good" etc. I wrote down evidence for and against for each item and was able to prove all those negative thoughts false and I felt better. I thought I had found negative core beliefs I held about myself and that challenging them would make me feel better. Unfortunately it didn't turn out that way. The rest of that weekend I was mainly confined to my bed and chair, feeling very anxious and depressed to the extreme. I was talking on the phone with family and my Mom thought the medication wasn't working right. I was thinking it would be weird for the medication to work for months and then suddenly start going haywire. I thought my mood was due to questioning core beliefs I had about myself and my life. After suffering through the New Years weekend and a night of very little sleep, I forced myself to go to work. The morning was awful but as the day went on, I felt better and better. I was able to go and see my psychiatrist that day and explained about the issues and my "mental breakthrough". He was very concerned about my symptoms and prescribed me venlafaxine xr 150 mg and told to switch. As the day went on, I almost felt euphoric. I decided to not switch and just continue the bupropion xl 300 mg. Over the next two weeks, I had some very depressed mornings that lifted to nice afternoons and better evenings. The second weekend, I woke up at 6 am, very anxious and realized something was wrong. I remembered my pills had changed, I researched if people had struggled with supplier changes and found quite a few in fact did. I also found that several years ago, the FDA actually pulled a generic supplier of bupropion off the market due to not being bioequivalent. I was furious. I found a way to report what happened to me to the FDA. I did not take that pill again and switched to the venlafaxine. I took it Sunday, and then Monday but then I thought to myself that I potentially had just gone through cold turkey withdrawal from bupropion and that maybe the worst of it was over. I was thinking maybe I had an opportunity to stay off of antidepressants, so I did not take anymore pills after Monday, January 8th 2018. At some point I found this site, and although it was helpful to find I was not alone, I was also terrified of potentially struggling for multiple years! I started taking fish oil, magnesium, turmeric, COQ10, D3, a multivitamin and eventually added a probiotic. I have had very little physical symptoms, its been mainly mental and emotional. I have experienced windows and waves daily, with a progression to having a couple good days in a row. During the waves, I am depressed, anxious, and cognitive abilities are reduced, my memory is not great, I can't seem to make decisions as quickly or as easily as I used to and I can't seem to be an active participant in most conversations. During the windows, I feel very good. My brain is firing on all cylinders. I am positive and optimistic about the future, I have confidence and good self esteem. I feel like "I can do this". Recently though, this past week, I have had more lows and deeper lows (not as low as the first two weeks). I am terrified. I know others have had it worse but I don't know what to do. I exercise almost every day. I have been journaling, praying, meditating, seeing a psychologist weekly, I eat well and I sleep well most of the time. I occasionally wake up around 5 am with some anxiety. I have so far been able to keep working full time. Its been 7 weeks since I stopped medications cold turkey, 9 weeks since my last effective pill, and 6 months since my SSRI. I believe I am definitely low on serotonin from the many years of being on SSRI's. I am struggling pretty bad lately with the depression. I am not getting any joy out of anything. I struggle to get out of bed. I am starting to lose hope that it will get better. The thought has crossed my mind to reinstate a low dose of sertraline, but its been out of my system for 6 months and from reading the forums it seems like it may not work or make things worse. The other thing I think I want to try, even though some have recommended not to, is l-tryptophan. If my thinking is correct, it could really help me. At least provide my body the materials it needs to be able to make serotonin on its own. I wish I would have never taken an antidepressant but I just didn't know and I trusted my doctors. I don't want to make my situation worse, but I don't know If I can keep going the way it is. Please, has anyone had success with l-tryptophan. Has anyone had success re-instating an SSRI after 6 months?
×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.