Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'citalopram'.



More search options

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Support
    • Read This First
    • Introductions and updates
    • Tapering
    • Symptoms and self-care
    • Finding meaning
    • Relationships and social life
  • Members only
  • Current events
    • Events, controversies, actions
    • In the media
    • Success stories: Recovery from withdrawal
    • From journals and scientific sources

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Found 189 results

  1. "I've come to the unfortunate conclusion that I am in a state a protracted SSRI withdrawal. One of Alto's articles describes me perfectly in terms of a completely dysfunctional nervous system and paradoxical responses to most meds and even some supplements. The exaggerated alerting only allows me to sleep 3-4 hrs a night and my startle reflex is out of control (a bird chirping will send shivers down my spine). The most terrifying and unnerving symptom to me is derealization. It's as if I am in a dream 24/7. It breaks my heart not being able to truly connect with my wife, kids, family, and friends. The derealization has created a secondary self-sustaining anxiety/panic loop which compounds my other withdrawal symptoms. I feel trapped because no medicine seems to help (except for benzos which scare me) and I literally feel like I am dead waiting this out in hopes that I heal. " quoted from another member I could ever be a mother ( since there is no long term evidence on risk to unborn child). This seems laughable now. I live in complete dissociation and I'm unable to function. My depression is so bad I have hardly been able to leave my bed (psychomotor retardation). One psychiatrist said it was a relapse. But it is a different kind of despair.my nerves grated on - and a feeling that I cannot even describe. I only once tried to come off my meds, 2 years ago, my high-functioning partner said I should do without them. I couldn't function and felt constant emotional pain/sadness so went back on. I know it is hard to exctricate what is withdrawal and what is not. I went on them, off the back of mirtazipine and a depressive relapse ( from a traumtic indcident). I was still getting depressed on citalopram. This feels like a very different type of feeling. I feel pretty frightened that there is so little evidence about their long-term use. I have come off ssri's 3 times-- once at 17, once at 22 ( after 3 years) and do not remember symptoms like these. I feel, at 34, if I don't get off them now I never will but how long will this hell go on for? It's such a trap. It makes me think of the documentary of the same name, "The Trap" by Adam Curtis. He talks about antidepressants in it. Different family members of different generations have always been sceptical of the medical profession and especially drugs/pharmaceuticals. I think they had wisely, seen drugs introduced and then eventually recalled from the market and the medical professions role in this. I feel like I willingly went along with being a 20th century guinea pig. It always plagued the back of my mind that the drugs had been on the market for so little time, no-one really knew the long-term implications/behaviours of the drugs. We have no controls, I will never know what I would have been like living through my mid twenties to mid thirties without these drugs. I don't know if this nervous breakdown is due to the "truth" of my emotions repressed under the drugs or if this is withdrawal. It's scary to know that it may become protracted. I can't live like this- it's hell. I can't read up enough on pharmapsychology because I am so dissociated. I have been told that ssri's don't involve structural changes but like Joanna Moncrieff states, "we just don't know". Any help/ideas/comments??????????
  2. Moderator note: link to Waterfall's members-only benzo thread - Waterfall: What dose to try now: Taking Clonazepam on AD withdrawal Wow. I feel nervous. Like I've just stepped out onto a big stage. With big lights. And the crowd beyond the edge, of the lights, of the stage, is all fuzzy and indistinct, sitting out there in the dark. Is this microphone on? I chose Waterfall for my name, because it's one of those things that can be seen from so many different perspectives. A waterfall can be seen as a wonderful thing of beauty. It can also be seen as destructive, a changing force. It can be a small trickle. I can also be a torrent. They can bring life sustaining water, or they can bring a flood. Some of the greatest waterfalls are considered some of natures greatest wonders. But close up they can also be noisy and wet. It's all in how you look at it. And which waterfall you meet. Anyway. Me. Who am I? Well. A waterfall. Pretty in my own way. And also messy. Changed by the floods and droughts of life. I'm also philosophical, apparently. And I talk a lot. Especially when I am nervous. I've struggled with anxiety since I was 5, or so I'm told. It's been there as long as I can remember. The details blur over the years, but I think the first time I also struggled with depression, that I'm aware of, was in my teens. I've always struggled. Always wondered why I felt so broken compared to everyone else. And why everything seemed extra hard for me. I was first prescribed Wellbutrin as a teen. I no longer remember what I told that doctor. Whether it was more about anxiety. Or depression. But I didn't take it. I was next prescribed Prozac when I was pregnant with my first child, at 21. I didn't take it then either. I first actually took something when I was in my twenties, I took Wellbutrin for 6-9 months. I no longer remember exactly. But other than feeling euphoric about doing something, when I first started it, I never noticed any other change. And since I wasn't supposed to take it and be pregnant, I quit, cold turkey, to become pregnant with my second child in 2010. I have always thought that I felt no symptoms after stopping. None. But now I wonder. I started a downturn in my health mid-pregnancy, beginning a sudden flare up of something akin to eczema or atopic dermatitis, in response to a cream that I had previously never reacted to. In the following months, I reacted to just about everything. Ever soap or cream or perfume I touched. I continued to struggle with general feelings of ill health, for the next several years, until I was pregnant with my 4th in 2014. The whole pregnancy was really tough. I had been pregnant three times before, but this... this time was complete misery. I told myself to survive until the baby was born. And he was. And I crashed. Hard. Really hard. I panicked. And couldn't sleep. And couldn't stay calm. And I was weak. And shaky. And so after a bit of trial and error, they put me on Clonazapam and Citalopram near the end of the year. I used the Clonazapam for a few weeks while they slowly upped the Citalopram to 40 mg. And there I stayed. It was still a struggle for quite some time, but I slowly improved. In 2016, I moved. Spring 2017, I felt like I was slipping again. Slowly feeling worse and worse, and afraid, because I was already on drugs, what would I do if I crashed now? So I went to see a different doctor. She started me on Gaba. And a few other supplements to help with sleep and general health. And then, oh, clever me, I stopped citalopram. In June. Cold turkey. Stupid. I know. I don't know anymore what I was thinking. I only remember that I thought it was a really good idea at the time. And it wasn't a planned thing. I'd missed renewing my prescription, so I hadn't taken it for about a week, so I consulted with this new doctor, and asked her if it made sense to just keep not taking it. She agreed. Gave me a prescription anyway, in case I needed some again, or if I couldn't handle it. I never took any. After that I had a decent summer. I thought all was well. I still struggled, but considering that I can't remember not struggling. Ever. I thought on the whole I was doing pretty good. Kept busy, for me anyway. I've never been able to be as busy as most people seem to be. But we went to the beach a few times. Visits to the splash pad. Some quiet days at home. Somewhere in there the new doctor started me on something called MoodRx that apparently has St. John's Wort in it. Apparently couldn't start that until I had been long enough off of the citalopram. Spent the end of the summer getting lots of veggies and berries into the freezer. Started to get a bit stressed about a visit from the in-laws. Turned my house upside-down in anticipation of their visit. And they came. And all was going well. I felt on top of the world. And then. And then I crashed. Hard. Again. Sept 18. I was spending the day with the kids and my in-laws. First I felt a bit off. But I soldiered on. I panicked in the grocery store. Felt super nauseated. But I calmed down again. Struggled off and on throughout the day until school pick-up for the kids off the bus. Then I lost it. Panicked. And couldn't calm down. Felt absolutely horrible. And I've been struggling hard ever since. Sometimes I think I'm starting to feel better. Other times I think I feel worse than ever. When it first happened, I went to the doctor a lot. We stopped the St. John's Wort stuff. Still not sure if I was having a bad reaction to it, or not. I also stopped, over time, taking everything else. At this point, the only thing I'm taking is 0.25mg of citalopram each morning, just to help me to survive. And I'm starting to try to take some vitamins and minerals again, in the hopes that it will help with some of the symptoms. At this point what makes the most sense to me, particularly in light of what I have read on this site, is that I'm suffering from withdrawal from the citalopram that I stopped back in June. And possibly made worse by a reaction to the St. John's Wort. But I really don't know what' going on. I'm scared. And I just wish I knew what was going on, and what the right thing to do was. One of the biggest things I struggle with is the fear and panic. My biggest trigger is health and physical symptoms. If I had read this site first, maybe I'd have done things differently. I like to think I would have. I also periodically have crying binges, where I just can't seem to help crying, and crying, and crying. And I'm not one who normally cries a lot. But once I've cried for a while, it seems to pass again. I've had some of the darkest, most depressed thoughts. About everything being hopeless. And pointless. Sometimes I just get irritable. One of the other major symptoms is a chest pain I have. They've already listened to my heart. Checked my blood pressure. I've had a general blood work-up twice in the last year. Once this past spring, and once last fall. Nothing came up. My iron isn't low. My blood sugar level is fine. My heart enzymes are good. But my chest hurts. This last week, my heart has started a sort of swoony/weird/almost like a flutter but not really kinda feeling. And this morning I woke up with pain in my back and neck and arm and chest. The worst I've had yet. I could barely get up this morning and I almost couldn't turn my neck. Sometimes when I did, it felt like someone was stabbing in my ear, or in my throat or chest bone. I also struggle with lot of numbness and tingling in my hands and feet. And sometimes my muscles all hurt. And sometimes my joints hurt. And I feel weak. And sometimes shaky. And did I mention panicky? And emotional? Sometimes my vision seems a little funny. Or my hearing. But it comes and then goes quickly. And is gone again. I've developed a cough, and I'm scared because I had bronchitis and strep throat 2 or 3 times last year. And that was still on the meds. And how could I forget the heart pounding? Oh, I have lots of heart pounding. Sometimes I do things, and nothing happens. But so often when I stand up. Or go up the stairs. Or wake up in the morning. Or lie down at night, my heart pounds. And pounds. I don'y know what's causing what. I just want to feel better. I've seen several different doctors. I've also seen a couple different therapists. Mostly they say there is nothing at all wrong with me, except in my head. One told me maybe it was lyme disease. Or maybe not. My main doctor wants me back on more drugs. The second lady I saw recently also wanteed me back on citalopram. I tried. I can't. If I take it. Even one 10mg pill, no matter what time of day, I wake up the following morning, early, panicking, and burning/tingling from head to toe. So my main doctor wants me to try another antidepressant. I don't want more drugs, but I'm not sure I can do without them. I just don't know what to do. Today was one of the roughest days yet. I'm in pain, and I'm panicky, and depressed and it all feels so hopeless. Since 2014, when I saw someone who gave me, for the first time, a diagnosis, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and prescription, after which I improved, my husband now believes that's the answer. My brain is broken, and I need drugs. Don't I see it? That's the only answer. So he's always pushing me to take more drugs. Take more of the clonazapam. Go back on citalopram. Get a new prescription. Just take something already! But I don't want to. Most days i can make it through with only the one Clonzapam. And that's it. But I am having a tough time. I've tried different diet options. I've tired a few different supplements. I just don't know what else to do. I don't know who's ideology to follow. So like I said. Right now, I'm taking 0.25mg Clonazapam every morning. Just to survive the day. And I don't eat dairy, or use any perfume, in order to keep the reactions in my skin to a minimum. I'm trying to take a multivitamin , plus vitamin D, a vitamin B complex, and a multi mineral. I'm most afraid of this chest/neck/back/arm pain right now. I could really use some encouragement and some help deciding which course of action to take. I've done some reading on here already and found some helpful stuff. I'm just wondering what people might have to say that's specific to my case. Feel free to point out specific threads on here that people have already written that may be helpful. And in advance, thank you. Whatever you have to offer, thank you. It's been really tough, and I can use every little bit of help I can get. And to all of you who have struggled and are struggling, I wish you all the best. I wish you health and strength. Some of you are amazing, what you've been through, or are going through, and still making it through the day, I applaud you. Some of the stuff you've dealt with sounds so much worse than what I'm dealing with. I only wish I could be half as tough as some of you are. Keep on keeping on.
  3. Hello, I am 55 and was on 20mg Citalopram for 12 years and began to think this is not working for me its holding me back , I knew this medication was hindering me but I continued to take it silly me so 125 days ago I stopped taking it cold turkey after a few days my mind got clear and my sex drive came back I was happy to feel normal again last time I felt that good was before the meds then bang withdrawals so I called the NHS24 and they said go back on my meds as it was that so I was shocked that this could happen as I had no idea about taper at that time so I went on 10mg for 1 month then 5mg for 5 day then stopped I know it was bad to do but I had no clue about tapering or withdrawal, all through the time taking the 10mg and 5mg I was in withdrawal , what I am left with is the central nervous system symptoms distant from life my head like there is acid running through it short term memory and insomnia is bad ,blurred vision hot dry feeling when I breathe brain needs cold oil etc tinnitus sinus twitches , I would like to add after stopping the meds I have not been anxious or depressed at all I have nothing to worry about as I know its another part of the brain that is a mess sorry for this being long winded I have little education my work has been with my hands , anyway sorry once again, I do not know to ride this storm out or reinstate to a small dose, my thinking is I did a mad thing abruptly stopping and my brain was shocked do I need to reinstate for my brain to calm down then taper, I know you might not have the answer and I am not holding anyone to account but you all here is professionals compared to my doctor this past few days I have had a window and a happy tickle in my belly along with my head feeling part of life but today its back to wave , I could ride it out but say next year I might say to myself I should have reinstated what if !! any questions no problem I have learned to open up with physical mental and sexual abuse in the past so any advice is welcomed regards Colin.
  4. Hello everyone, I am another who was previously at another forum which has closed down. I'm very grateful that there is another good AD forum as I really don't want to be doing this alone. I already know a lot of other members here. My history in summary: 2001 Had a baby, a few days later got hit with severe anxiety and insomnia, diagnosed with post partum distress, anxiety, and hyperventilation syndrome. A psychiatrist prescribed Aropax (paroxetine), Mellaril (thioridazine - an anti-psychotic used as an anxiolytic at lower doses to cover the SSRI start-up) and zopiclone for sleep short-term. Stayed on Aropax for about six months then tapered off over a couple of months, with just a few mild withdrawal symptoms. 2003 Had second baby, repeat of above process but with Cipramil(citalopram) and midazolam for sleep. 2004 Had just got off citalopram when a very stressful situation occurred at my workplace (company was bought by two other companies and split, our part then integrated with one of the two buying companies). Spent a huge amount of energy and effort job-hunting and not coping well with the situation. Eight months of unrelenting stress later had a breakdown, similar symptoms to before, decided to go back on Aropax since it had worked well before (stupid, stupid). 2005-2006 Work situation still stressful, kept trying to taper dose down but couldn't cope below 10mg. 2007 Crashed at around 5mg, straight back to 20mg. A few months later searched the internet and found information about slow tapering. Began a slow taper which went well initially. 2008 Crashed around April after dropping from 5mg to 4.5mg. Went straight back to 5mg which didn't help. Went through a couple of months of pure hell (stupidly did not updose). Couldn't sleep, eat or keep still. Off-the-scale akathisia, didn't sleep for a whole week, couldn't keep anything down, spent my days and nights pacing around until my feet hurt and I couldn't even wear shoes. Began relaxation exercises which calmed things down enough to struggle through for a while but unable to work to support my family. Lots of pressure to get back to work. Updosed back to 10mg in June and 20mg in July. GP prescribed zopiclone for sleep, then psychiatrist prescribed Seroquel to switch over to from the zopiclone. Nasty drug, gave me big muscle twitches in my legs. Restabilised by October, tapered off Seroquel fairly quickly. Began tapering paroxetine again in December. 2009-2014 Tapered at a glacial pace, some years hardly dropped at all due to instability for months. Eventually was doing only 0.1mg drops and for a while 0.05mg drops which sound so tiny as to be ridiculous but I felt every drop. Was afraid of crashing again at 4.5mg but got through it and am now down to 3.45mg. Last drop was 0.15mg instead of 0.1mg as drops seem to be getting a little easier recently. Still very afraid of crashing. In 2011 decided I had to get out of my stressful job/career, felt like I would never get off meds as long as I stayed. The lower my dose got the more toxic the environment felt. I think the meds had helped me stay in the job by numbing me out somewhat. April 2011 was offered and took paid redundancy, 2012 back to uni to retrain as teacher, 2013-2014 unsuccessful job hunting, bits and pieces of part-time work, feeling mostly happy apart from worry about lack of income. No regrets about tossing old career in spite of not really having a new one. All in all, far too many years of having these meds in my life, rather over the whole thing by now. If you actually read all of this, you deserve a chocolate fish.
  5. Hello all. I have been following on this forum for the last couple of months on and off. I have been on Citalopram for nearly 11 years. I am 25 years old now. Quick history. Always been a bit anxious. Even as a kid. Had severe migraines from age 4 till 10 , then they stopped TOLD i had ADD. Put on ritalin at 7 years old for 2 weeks. ZOMBIE! taken off Ritalin. Love life and family and friends. Quite an emotional, caring individual. FAST FORWARD....Aged 14 felt overly guilty and anxious over child hood life event. Went to doc, said i might have OCD. Put me on 60mg Citalopram. Didn't notice any difference in anything being on med. Aged 19 went cold turkey cause of OCD symptoms tried to change to another drug Mirtazapine. ANXIETY 10/10 and Panic attacks. Then back on to 60 MG after a few days after symptoms of withdrawal began. Stabilized i think within a few weeks bit still felt crap for a good while. Not 100% for next few years but ok. Can feel drug messing with me. Making me anxious for no reason. Have to keep active and busy and I'm ok. Slowly over 2 years went from 60mg to 45 mg . All good. Decide due to weird randomized anxiety, lack of tears etc that i want to come off these drugs, and i know i can. Anyway i then go from 45mg to 40mg and severe withdrawal within a week. Dropped from 50mg to 45mg within 5 weeks. Insanely nasty neuro-emotional symptoms. Only symptoms are ever really Anxiety and Panic.. Chuck in a bit of hopelessness and some depression on the side.. . . . Tend to feel better by evening almost normal .. just a bit dazed and confused. Anyway i waited it out thinking it will go. Got some nice long windows of a week or more feeling almost good way clearer than I've felt in years, more alive, more real. Things feel better! things are more beautiful. Music sounds better. Everything is more beautiful But then BOOOOOMMMM!!! Anxiety back with a vengeance. Thought i noticed waves getting shorter and windows a bit longer but not significant enough to tell, and then after 10-11 weeks after my symptoms first appeared i updosed cause i needed a break. Updose felt WEIRD.. Within 4 hours of the extra 5mg i felt hazy, cloudy and drowsy.. Had insomnia that first night , still anxious but not as intense. Next couple days slightly better - Mild, consistent anxiety but not too bad. Manage to sleep well now.. Thought i had restabilized. Day 5 after updosing felt 95% back to normal. BUT last 3 days have been crap. Anxiety back. One week after updosing. Not AS INTENSE, hasn't got that razor sharp edge to it that it had before, but uncomfortable none the less. My question to anyone out there with this kind of experience is ... Would this anxiety be caused by the withdrawal still, or the updosing of the tablets? As I've read that increasing SSRI dose can cause anxiety for the first few weeks.. And can it take a while to re-stabilize after updosing?? considering i tried to tough out the withdrawal for nearly 3 months... One more thing. No overly negative stories please. I believe and i know that i can heal from this. Kindest regards and thankyou for your responses Nick
  6. ADMIN NOTE DJones's benzo thread Hi, I just wanted to take the time to introduce myself and ask for some advice I have been on various ssris for 11years and about 7 months ago I decided to wean myself off celexa which I had been on for the last 5 years at 40mg. I weaned of to fast over the course of about 3 months and was off for a total of 1 month when I crased hard with anxiety, fear and depression. I went back on 40mg of celexa after being off for a month but got panic attacks and weird sensations in head. After 2 weeks the doc than got me off that and put me on Paxil for 2 weeks which only made things worse with bad anxiety and feeling dissacated with everything and my cns was all messed up. They than put me on celexa at 20 mg and a low dose of remeron for 3 weeks but no relief and was getting electrical sensations and burning sensation in body. I than checked myself into the hospital where the cold turkeyed me off the celexa and put me on neurontin. I was off celexa again for a week but I gave up all other medications and put myself back on 5mg of celexa for the last 3 weeks and have also been on .05 a day of klonopin now for 2 months. My current symptoms are. Severe anxiety Inability to concentrate Muscle tension Akathesia Tremor Burning sensation in chest and pain from time to time Vision problems Brain fog Some anadonia Some nausea And sensitive to sounds and some foods and vitimins My questions is what do I do from here? Man this is no fun just looking for some words of encougement if nothing else.
  7. panic27

    panic27

    Hi, I've recently got a prescription for Lexapro to counter panic attacks, ADD, and mild depression. I am supposed to take 5mg the first four days, then increase to 10mg. Now I've been using it for only two days, and I feel absolutely horrible. Reading all the negative experiences, side effects and withdrawal symptoms on the web, I'm convinced this poison won't help me at all in the long run. Can I stop taking this drug immediately, or do I even have to taper off after only two days on 5mg?
  8. Hi everyone. I'm Liz and I need some counsel. First things first: I'm not a native english speaker, I'm german. So please excuse my poor language and mistakes, I'll try to express myself as clearly as I can. As you can see in my signature, I was put on Citalopram (it's Celexa in the US, right?) in 2007. I had developed quite a harsh anxiety disorder with massive panic attacks. At the point that I couldn't manage my everyday life anymore, I went to my GP and asked for help. He prescribed me 20mg Citalopram to "get back on track" and advised me to seek therapy, which I did immediately. While that therapy person wasn't the real deal, the pills worked well for a while. A year later I tried to quit them, but felt miserable. I went cold turkey because I didn't know any better. My GP sent me to a psychiatrist who put me on 30mg. This also worked for a while. Another year or so later (you can see a timeline in my signature) I tried to quit again. My psychiatrist told me to taper over the course of few weeks. It was basically another cold turkey, it failed, and I tried again and again. By the end of 2012 I managed to be completely off pills for 6 months, but then things got so bad that I went back on 20mg. As many of you may have experienced, my doctor told me I would need the meds and could take them forever and that there was no such thing as withdrawal. I changed the psychiatrist, but the second one told me the same. My GP told me the same. They basically labeled my withdrawal symptoms as hysterical. They all advised to stay on the meds. Which I did not want, because I missed my "human-ness" so much. Then I got pregnant, landed stable on 10mg somehow and stayed on that dose, it was the best I could. I'm really lucky my kid has not shown any signs of harm after her birth. She's developing perfectly normal, but I'm still feeling guilty because I couldn't fully quit the meds. I've been stable on 10mg for a long while, but as time went on, I desperately wanted to feel the "real me" again and began researching the topic of tapering and withdrawal. Turns out, withdrawal exists. For real. That gave me new hope. So. In the least years I've been tapering very slowly from 10mg. Things got bad from 7mg on, there was a full year of horrendous depression and anxiety and sheer terror. It took me another year to recover from this. Now I'm at 5.75mg, and I can't seem to go further. I tried a single reduction of 1% in May, some kind of microtapering plans in mind, and 3 weeks later I wanted to die. I reinstated and stabilized. Three weeks ago I dropped the dose about 0.5% and expected things to go mellow. Tiny dose, right? They didn't. I don't exactly want to die now, but 2 weeks after the reduction I developed severe anxiety with bizarre thoughts, vertigo, nausea and most of the other stuff I know so well. I reinstated two days ago and the bizzare thoughts are gone today, the nausea also. I really don't know what to do. With reductions of 0.5% every few months (because I can't bear it more often), I would not be able to come off meds in this lifetime. I'm 40 years old. Is this real? Is there a chance I'm really this sensitive? Or am I making things up in my mind? Is someone else here who can't do the tiniest of drops? And is there any way out of this hypersensitivity? It feels like symptoms are getting worse with every failed reduction. The citalopram itself doesn't exactly bother me at the given dose. I tolerate it quite well, I guess. Feeling no side effects (or I might be so used to them I can't feel them anyway). So, what's a girl gonna do when nothing works? (Short background info: I'm the main provider in my family and we have a toddler. My job is about creative thinking. So I have to function as a employee and a mum to some degree and I need a relatively clear mind to do my job. That's why I tried these tiny reductions, and of course because I don't want wanting to die, obviously). Thanks heaps for reading this. All the best Liz
  9. Hi there, I'm a 29 year old male from the UK and I'm really glad to have found this site. I've been taking 40mg citalopram for 8 years (since i was 21) for depression since my early teenage years (14 years old). I've considered reducing my dosage for a long time with the goal of coming off and finally took the plunge and yesterday saw a doctor about it. His advice didn't seem particularly good and I've spent the past 16 or so hours reading as much as possible on tapering off citalopram which has led me to this site. Reading about it makes me feel incredibly nervous but I feel like I'm ready as I haven't experienced depression in a long time and am in a good place in my life. My biggest worry about tapering off the citalopram is not so much the withdrawal effects as I'm coming off - but getting it wrong and having persisting/returning depressive symptoms after tapering off and finding the past 8 years of recovery going up in smoke. I'm determined to do this right. I accept the possibility that maybe I'll need to remain on a maintenance dose for the rest of my life, but if that is the case I don't want it to be because I screwed up the tapering process. I was optimistic in seeing the doctor that I'd get the support I need to make the right decisions and do this the right way, but my meeting with him didn't go well. Despite my high dose and fairly long term use he suggested dropping to 30mg for a week, then 20mg for a week, then 10mg for a week and then stopping altogether, 40mg - 0 in one month. Based on everything I've read this sounds like a recipe for disaster. I said this sounded very fast and he told me another option was to drop 10mg at a time and stay at the new dose for a few weeks to see how I get on - so now I have a repeat prescription for 30mg which I started yesterday. Based on what I'm reading it sounds like I should take this dosage for at least 2 months. If the drop to 30mg goes well after 2 months or so I may try and see a different doctor who will hopefully be more helpful. I was told I can only drop down in 10mg increments and 10mg is the lowest available dose, but now I'm reading about people cutting their 10mg in half and I was very interested to read about the liquid solution. I'm not sure if these are available in the UK but if I see another doctor I will enquire, though I'm more interested in that for the drop from 20mg to 10mg to 0 which sounds like where it gets tricky. I'm just starting to read all the different information on this site and will spend some time today going through as much as I can but was wondering if the drop from 40mg to 30mg is too much to start? I was hoping that this drop off wouldn't be too bad to start with and once I'm stable on 30mg I can speak to a different doctor about a slower taper rather than dropping from 30-20mg in one go. I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place since doctors seem to absolutely hate any sort of 'self-medication' or people doing things their own way, yet this way seems significantly safer and healthier for both my short and long term health than what's been suggested to me and the limitations that the NHS allegedly puts on the tapering process (no doses smaller than 10mg etc). It's also complicated by the fact that I rely on the NHS and doctors to prescribe me any drugs at all. I look forward to hearing any advice and thank you in advance. QUAD
  10. Hi all, I'm new here and would like to thank everyone for sharing their experience and helping others. I wish every one of you success on your path to recovery! My story and symptoms: 2 years ago I tapered off citalopram/escitalopram, because after 6 years taking it I built tolerance to it, as well as some unbearable sinusitis-like side effects. I was prescribed this drug for GAD treatment (for details see my signature below) During the 5th year on citalopram I started to feel its antidepressant effects slowly vanish, and I also noticed I couldn't handle much stress anymore. Actually, my working name for this problem is "impatient stress" and it's one of the most unpleasant symptoms. I would describe the feeling as a mix of impatience and stress without any apparent stressor. I rush to finish whatever I'm doing, but my muscles are clenching and I'm feeling strong physical and emotional unease, sometimes to the extent it feels I'm going to faint or have a heart attack. Kind of stress over-reaction to even simple tasks like chores. My body and mind force me to stop, although there is no apparent stressor. 2 years after getting off meds, this poor stress tolerance doesn't seem to get better, in fact it seems to be worse these days. I try to help my body deal with this artificial stress by supplementing vitamin C and magnesium, but it doesn't seem to have much effect (although it probably does help a bit) Somehow related to this is perhaps my extreme sensitivity to stimulants (tea, coffee, even chocolate). Even small doses make me agitated and anxious next day. At the moment I seem to be even more sensitive than I was a few months after withdrawal. Maybe it's because now I tend to really avoid stimulants as much as I can, which is probably making me more sensitive to them... But is my body going to readjust if I never expose it to such substances? Or is it better to avoid all stimulants and wait if my brain heals from hypersensitivity over time? What's your experience? For example, last week I tried two adaptogenic herbs (ashwagandha, rhodiola) for just a few days, in very small doses. Although I only ingested one capsule of rhodiola (which is 1/2 of recommended daily dose) it made me feel like a new person for two days in row! I felt great and focused. The next morning I had an erotic dream (which I normally don't have) and just when the dream got too exciting, I woke up with a terrible spike of agitation, which pretty much resembled the stressed-out feeling, but much more intense and terrifying. It only lasted a second, but it felt like I was losing my mind, as if I'm going to faint or vomit. Extremely unpleasant feeling. (It wasn't a panic attack though, these are completely different. I'm also familiar with these morning cortisol surges, but this was more like a momentary shock.) I could feel my heart beating strong. I never experienced such a strange shock and I was quite scared. Perhaps the single small capsule of Rhodiola (which apparently is a MAOI) messed up neurotransmitter levels too much? I would love to know what's your experience with hypersensitivity to stimulants following SSRI withdrawal. Did stimulants also trigger anxiety for you? Did you register any change over time? For the last 4 months I seem to be having some kind of anxiety episode triggered by emotional stress and accidental ingestion of green tea. The anxiety is getting worse every day, my sleep is getting shorter and shorter, giving rise to more anxiety. Is there a way to escape this vicious circle? Sometimes I have pinkeye. Not sure if it's something to worry about, I guess it's linked to sleep problems. There's also this sharp "pulling" sensation which I get from time to time in my hands or legs. Feels like if my veins were being pulled into body, shortened. Anyone experienced this? Just recently I started to have occasional chin twitches, although very subtle, hardly noticeable. I hope they'll go away once I manage the anxiety and bodily tension. And the last problem is lower back pain which I have ever since I discontinued SSRI, which makes me think that the physical damage to my back was done probably much earlier, but the pain has been temporarily suppressed by SSRI. Is it possible? Or maybe my lower back isn't damaged that much, but the elevated stress hormones intensify pain signalling in the body. I came to this hypothesis because last week, when I was in better mood for two days, the back pain almost vanished. I've practiced daily meditation for 2 years since withdrawal, I underwent 6 week CBT course, tried fasting, self-help books, supplements, etc. Meditation and CBT provided some help and I'll definitely keep using them. But still... these days I feel so anxious, sensitive, unstable... scared. Since I cannot handle any work load, I had to leave my job. I moved to my family's house, and recently I applied for disability pension (I hope I'll need it just for a few years). Everything has turned upside down for me. I feel I'm doomed to suffer for the rest of my life. I'm worried every day that the taper was too fast (I was so stupid to rush it), and I'm afraid my brain will never recover from the dependency on SSRIs, which terrifies me so much! Can you please help? Any ideas what might be happening with me in regards to the poor stress tolerance? What is actually going on there? Your experiences regarding any of these symptoms will be much appreciated! Do you think the damage is permanent? It's been 2 years now. Thank you! PS: As I'm rereading this post, it all seems so negative... But there are positives also - I'm no longer depressed these days. The depression transformed into anxiety 4 months ago, and although that's not necessarily a great thing one would desire, at least I know something is going on and I can feel motivated again.
  11. Hi all, I felt depressed around beginning of April realised something was wrong. I have depression and OCD. I went to my doctors and they put me on citalopram which i was on about a year and a half ago took ages to work then then finally did and I was better again also with talk plus counselling. I was on citalopram for 2 weeks last month and it didn't agree with me I was so sick so I changed to sertraline for 2 - 3 weeks and it still made me ill and my ocd worse.With my doctors advice she signed me off for a week and I came off them completely. I went back for a follow up appointment Monday I'm off them completely. However, I still feel numb and disconnected like I can't feel anything even though I know the love and happiness and support is there but I feel like I'm on the outside of my life looking in and my OCD is going in to over drive because I'm worried about it. I'm still doing talk plus counselling. I just want to know had anyone experienced this and how long does it take to get your emotions back? If anyone has any advice please let me know, Jen
  12. Female. Anxious disposition even as child. Did well making friends and enjoying life as a child. Struggled with getting to sleep though, due to worries. Displayed some ocd behaviour in teens ( maybe even before). Took and E aged 16 - big mistake. This exacerbated my anxiety and induced subsequent panic attacks. Age 19 ish ( 2001) was put on seroxat (not sure on dosage -it a strange time; experienced a lot of weird goings on with feeling weird, insomnia, - cant remember if this was before or on starting seroxat). started to feel better while on Seroxat. After a year or two, ( age 21) the doc, due to reports of suicidal behaviour on seroxat, decided to swap me to Citalopram ( 20mg i think). On starting Citalopram, I became very suicidal! Not sure why I wasn't swapped back but I perservered and must have evened out. Took Citalopram for 2 years and I felt good. Met my, now, husbandat 23 and thought life was brill and I did not need Citalopram anymore. Didn't follow any kind of tapering ( didnt know I needed to) and must have stopped cold turkey. Felt very suicidal so went back on Citalopram and evened out again. Must have cut fown to 10 mg and stayed on this for 4 years, functioning well. I did my degree. Am a bit of a perfectionist so worked very hard ( too hard), as well as working 16 hours. End of 4th year at Uni, I was burnt out. Overloaded, overwhelmed, run diwn physically and mentally. A 'nervous breakdown' ensued. I tried to go back to uni to finish the last couple of months but couldn't. I finished my dissertation abd transferred my degree so I still gained a 1st class degree but was very ill. I, nearly straight after became pregnant. I, however, suffered a horrid missed miscarriage at 13 weeks. I had told the docs that I thought something was wrong, 5 weeks earlier, but was dismissed. I took 2 months off work and was a mess. The doctor gave me diazepam and zopiclone which helped me ride the worst. Somehow I survived and became pregnant again not long after. Pregnancy was hard ( pains and bleeding) but I lasted. When my baby was born, it was tricky ( so much new to learn; I developed some ocd habits to help me feel in control but it was ok. Things leveled out. I was still on 10 mg Citalopram ( docs aware of this). I was doing well. I had snother baby a couple of years later, aged 29. Pregnancy was s bit better than the previous one but I still had bleeding, so was nervous but it was ok. I continued on 10 mg of Citalopram and was doing ok. When my son was 1 though, I took on too much. ( Lots of voluntary work with high expectations and serious responsibilities. I juggled trying to be a good mum, with several voluntary roles, housekeeping, got a small part time job too. over this time, for some reason i was slowly tapering Citalopram down ( no guidance really other than from the doc that you can take them every other day (? Is this where things started to go wrong?). I thought I was doing ok, although on reflection I was burning the candle at both ends. At the age of 32 I began to experience sciatica and fatigue. Doc suggested I try coming off the pill. This didn't help. This got worse until I developed severe abdominal pain/ heavy periods/ Nausea/ severe IBS - doc queried cfs but i was not yet referred. I was probably taking 5 mg of citalopram a couple of times a week ( not great I now realise as not steady) but as much as I was feeling physically crap, I was still functioning I stopped the Citalopram and took nothing for 10 months. The voluntary work took on another level; I imploded and had a 'nervous breakdown' ( I had a ridiculous amount of stress which was causing me to struggle with sleep and I was beginning to get suicidal ideation and brain fog before this, on top of the other physical issues, then a stressful voluntary work event sent me into a breakdown ( crying/ anxious/ ocd/ sleeplessness/ some kind of sleep apnea where id wake up gasping for breath.. I was put back onto Citalopram. I quit all voluntary work. I requested to start what i thought was low - 5mg. They pushed me to go to 10, saying 5 was ridiculous. At the same time, it was thought I may have endometriosis, so in 2017, aged 35 I had a laparoscopy operation to check; it was not. I think the operation and anaesthetic helped finish me off. The Citalopram made me increading suicidal to the point where I had suicidal ideation 24/7. i was somehow still getting sleep at this point but obe day was so suidsl, I went to A&E. Saw a psychiatrist for the first time in my life ( aged 35). Was tild to stip Citalopram strainght away. Discussed alternatives ( antipsychotics/ Mirtazipine, other ssris etc). I took nothing fir a week then another team of psychiatrists advised on possible meds. It was decided I would try Sertraline ( another Ssri??? why did i do that) I started it on 12.5 mg ( much to dismay of psychiatrists) but I was not given time to level out; They kept bumping up dose so i would get to the 'theraputic' dose of 50mg. Another level of Hell ensured which I hadn't yet visited. Loss of appetite, diarrhea, jitters, suicidsl ideation in the extreme, depression, muscle twitching, increased brain fog, intrusive thoughts, rapid weight loss, hellish insomnia. This on top of the fatigue and pain and ibs i was already experiencing. Despite my reaction, I was told to persist; I think they thought it wss my normal behaviour ( never felt this bad even when I wss 18 before starting Seroxat). Things levelled a bit after about 3 1/2 months. I was able to function a bit and go to my part time work and look after the home but it was tough. I developped tinnitus on Sertraline and had increasing brain fog. I also now suffered from depersonalisation and still had IBS and fatigue and body pain. In November last yesr, Another doc suggested i try the fodmap diet. i tried this and after 2 months it was very apparent that I had a gluten intolerance. Stopping gluten cleared up my IBS and most of the body pain. I still however battled with increasing brain fog and fatigue and severe depersonalisation to the point i couldnt go out at times and battled with it on the way to/ at work. Sertraline was not for me. I decided to cut down. the only advice id had about tapering was every other day from my doc but I thought Id do it slower. i cut miniscule amounts off from April 17, no real structure. I did this slowly but without checking i was stabilising, from April to August when i got to about 25mg. July and August, my brain fog became unbearable; unable to do shopping, unable to have a proper conversation, overwhelmed by simple questions, I became hypersensitive to light and sound. I often wore shades even on cloudy days ( looking back, noide and light sensitivity started with sertraline). I wore earplugs to limit noise at home with loud children. I became snappy due to loud noises. July August this got worse and worse but I was still functioning. I began doing sertraline every other day at 25 mg in August I think, maybe before then BAM one night in early September I had severe anxiety and total insomnia. This was relentless. I was desperate. I needed advice. Do i go back? Stop? go down? even dose to take each day. I was severely suicidal and devepped what seemed to be fit type episodes where i would be breathless, painful stomach, weird tingly head, palpitations, neck pain and lower back pain, loss of appetite, feeling flu like, becoming extremely dehydrated to the point i would guzzle water down cup after cup, My body contorted in painand tension, I eould then becime cold snd shiver. these episodes could last a couple of minutes but up to 16 hours at times. i was desperate for advise. over September/ early october, I visited A&E 4 times, desperately suicidal; I spoke to my doctor, I spoke to the nhs 111 line, I paid to dpeak to a psychiatrist but NO ONE would advise me, passing me round like a hot potato, telling me to do CBT and wait fir an appointment with a prescribing psychiatrist in december! I wouldn't live until then! I stayed with my mum as I felt so out of control with these fit type things ( including one where paramedics came and I was growling/ disorientated/ confused/ dehydrated so my eyeballs snd skin were dry- I was agressive ( never been like this in my life). I didnt want to be near my family due to my behaviour so I stayed with my mum for a few days. she lives in another county. I went to A&E there and they listened to me and made me feel worthwhile. they referred me to their home treatment team, who visited me but once again were unwilling to discuss specifics of medication. i was given zopiclone and diazepam. my husband and i didnt know what to do. we saw this website but I was still confused. I 'evened' out the 25 mg every other day dose to 12.5 in September. This may have made things worse, not sure which is why i wanted advice. The home treatment team managed to get my appointment with a prescribing psychiatrist movef to early october. I saw her and she laughed at my idea that it was withdrawal. she suggested I try an snri or mirtazapine. After reading this site, I wad reluctant. I am still referred with that team of psychiatrists but another appointment is in 2 months and they just want to throw more meds at me without showing any understanding of withdrawal. 5 weeks ago at an extreme point, before seeing the psychiatrist, I stopped Sertraline. I have been off it for 5 weeks. The fits seem to have all but stopped. but my anxiety is through the roof. I have severe stomach pain, reactions to shsmpoo, brain buzzy feeling whch zaps at times, particularly with high pitched loud noises. my sensitivity to sound is horrendous, as are my emotions and sensitivity to stress. I am overwhelmed by anxiety and ocd type ruminating thoughts about the situation and about my children's health. I am in sick leave from work since 2 months ago, as is my husband ( to look after me and the children). I have managed to taper off zopiclone and my sleep varies depending on my anxiety at night ( minutes up to 6 hours, broken sleep). I took dome diazepam but the ladt dose in September affected my breathing and I became severely breathless for 4 hours andmy gums bled so i haven't taken it since. I have applied for pip disability living allowance. we are shortly going to have no miney coming in and do t know if and my husband will be able to go back to work or if he will be fired ( I assume i will). I read this site but felt I couldnt reinstate as I never felt good on Sertraline. what now? do I try to ride it out? So suicidal and hopeless at times. Do I reinstate to citalopram instead? Do i try something else? Low dose mood stabiliser/ antipsychotic? Ps, I was referred a month ago to the ME/ Cfs people for diagnosis. Still waiting to hear.
  13. After close to 18 months on Citalopram, I decided to wean off the medication in August as I ascribed a feeling of mental numbness to the drug. The first week off I felt fine. Weeks 2-4 were hellish as I experienced strange tingling sensations, insomnia, depersonalisation and extreme periods of agitation. However, after close to six weeks off the drug, I still don’t feel like myself. I’m apathetic. My concentration is non-existent despite taking medication for ADHD. My brain is extremely foggy, and I don’t feel connnected to myself or those around me. Whilst I didn’t quite adhere to my discontinuation plan and admittedly weaned off Citalopram far too quickly, I didn’t expect to feel so utterly lost in myself after almost six weeks off the med. My doctor is in the process of conferring with a psychologist with regards to taking a different medication for anxiety but I’m reluctant to go back on an SSRI. Unfortunately I don’t know if I’m still struggling with SSRI withdrawal syndrome or if it’s a resurfacing of depression and/or a high level of anxiety. I’d be interested to know if anyone else has experienced similar difficulties after discontinuing an anti-depressant and what helped you in your respective recoveries. Thanks.
  14. I think I’ve made an awful mistake. I did a too fast taper off of Citalopram in Jan/ Feb and have been having awful withdrawal symptoms for about a month now. I thought the symptoms would resolve themselves after a few weeks, but they haven’t and I fear that I may have now permanently damaged my brain. I was prescribed 20mg paroxetine in 2001 for depression and anxiety. It worked really well. Life was wonderful and I felt fantastic for about a year. Then the Paroxetine lost it’s effectiveness. I took it for another year before deciding that it wasn’t doing anything and that I was cured so could just stop taking it. I relapsed six months later and was put on 20mg Citalopram in 2003. Over the years I have made three attempts at withdrawing from Citalopram. I had very little help from my doctor who told me that I could just stop cold turkey and then go back on them if the depression/ anxiety returned, which it always did. My last attempt to withdraw was in 2011. It was disastrous, I ended up a quivering wreck and was convinced I was going to die. Went back on citalopram and was told I would probably need to stay on SSRI’s for life. Stabilised after a couple of months, but didn’t feel quite right so was put on 10mg Ecitalopram. Over the last few years I made some significant lifestyle changes; moved into a new house, started getting some regular exercise, improved diet, reduced alcohol consumption and quit smoking. Nov 2014 - was switched back to citalopram 20mg. No explanation as to why, I went to collect the repeat prescription and it contained citalopram with a note saying this was a new course. Anyway, i took what I was given and assumed the doctor knew what he was doing. 15 Jan 2015 - Life seemed more positive and i once again felt the urge to quit the anti-depressants and be free of the side effects (agoraphobia, emotional numbness, twitching muscles, weight gain, sexual dysfunction, tiredness). I took 10mg for 2 weeks, then 5mg for two weeks and 2.5mg for a further two weeks, before jumping off. Mar 2015 - I had two weeks of feeling really good. I had tons of energy, was getting out more, was starting to make plans for the future, my emotions were coming back, best of all, I was starting to feel like me again. I had a few brain zaps and headaches, but nothing that I couldn't cope with. I felt that this time things would be different and that I would finally be free of these drugs. Then I crashed. I woke up very early one morning with a feeling of dread, terror and loneliness. Everything had changed overnight. I had severe anxiety, a tight chest, knotted stomach, heart palpitations and difficulty breathing. The world seemed unreal. Everything had suddenly become a huge effort. I was unable to spend any time alone and was worrying about the most ridiculous things. In hindsight, it was at this point that I should have reinstated, but I was determined to be A.D. free, so I put up some blackout curtains to help with the early waking, stopped drinking coffee and tried to distract myself by keeping busy. April 2015 - I discovered this site and learnt about withdrawal symptoms, windows and waves, supplements and tapering. The information gave me some relief as I now knew what was happening to me. I have been taking supplements for a few weeks (300mg magnesium, 1300mg omega 3 and 25mg diphenhydramine) which I feel has eased some of the symptoms. However, I have been reluctant to reinstate because I had a window that lasted for two days and thought I was making progress. That was a couple of weeks ago and I’m feeling awful again now. It is becoming clear that I’m probably sensitised to SSRI’s after long term use and that I might have to suffer a protracted withdrawal. Tomorrow, I have an appointment with a new doctor. Im going to ask her for a low dose of citalopram and something to help me get a proper night’s sleep. I just hope that I haven’t left it too late to reinstate, stabilise and conduct a very slow taper. I really wish I had found this site back in January and had not had to suffer this cold turkey hell.
  15. Hello. Here's my story: I have general anxiety disorder (GAD--self diagnosed), though I may also be bi-polar. I had a tough time in my teen years--panic attacks, confusion, fear of people, etc., never happy. My father was an alcoholic; my youngest brother died of alcoholism a year ago. I've had my own battles with alcohol, too, but I never became the two six-packs, plus a bottle of whiskey that my father consumed every day. I quit drinking four years ago. For the past year and a half I have used medical cannabis (in a legal state with a doc's evaluation), which helps with anxiety and worry, and is the best sleep aid I know. In my late thirties (I'm now 57) I started taking Prozac--in 1997 (I think)--using a bottle I got from a friend (his mother had a scrip but she didn't take it). I liked it. It took a lot of my anxiety away, and I ceased having panic attacks. I only had a month's supply so I went to my doc, talked to him about my use and he was happy to write a scrip for me--20 mg. of Paxil (my insurance did not cover Prozac). He said to me then that anti-depressants/SSRI's are to sad/anxious people what insulin is to diabetics. I know now that that line came straight from a drug rep's play book. I know now that it was wrong and, at least from the drug company's perspective, a lie. Paxil agreed with me and I continued taking it daily (20 mg.) until about two years ago. I had tried to quit it several times over the years--both cold turkey and by tapering—mostly because I had gained up to thirty pounds on it and could not, no matter how hard I tried, lose that weight (I have been a frequent aerobic exerciser since long before I started Paxil—I continue to exercise, but not as much as before). Trying to stop Paxil altogether was hell. While doing so I felt a profound depression; I cried a lot, spent time in bed during the day on weekends, was twitchy, anxious, fearful, panicky—just not myself; I even began thinking vague thoughts about suicide. I had never felt these symptoms to such an extreme before beginning anti-depressants. Long ago, before beginning Paxil, I had been sad/depressed, I'd had panic attacks and problems with social anxiety, etc., but none of these symptoms were as debilitating as what I was feeling off Paxil. Shortly after getting down to about 10 mg. of Paxil (I had been using an emory board to taper down--for about six months) I couldn't stand it any more and spoke to my psych doc. She put me on Wellbutrin (which made me too hyper, despite taking it in the morning) along with Prozac (which gave me akathisia [pacing constantly]). I gave up both after about a month or so and went on Celexa, which my wife and daughter had been on successfully. I've been taking 20 mg. of Celexa for the last two and half years. About six months ago (or so--could be less) I started to taper off Celexa, this time using sandpaper. I'd read a book called Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker and it scared me into trying to quit again. About a month and half ago I jumped from about 13 to 14 milligrams of sandpapered Celexa to ten by simply breaking the Celexa tab in half. It was easier than using the sandpaper, etc. I'd been feeling a bit odd before then, though nothing too bad, but then I began feeling the old, horrible symptoms mentioned above. They weren't that intense, really, but I'd been worrying a lot about my son going back to college (smart kid, good school, but he has emotional issues—I'm afraid of him failing), and anticipating my return to work—my job is beyond stressful (I'm a teacher). These and other stressorrs convinced me that I needed to be back on the medication. So, as of last Monday, a week ago, I've been taking my full dose again of Celexa, 20 mg., and I have felt better the last few days. BUT today I've felt horrible--two or three panic attacks, crying, a "buzzing" anxiety, a hollow feeling in my gut. I feel worse today on 20 mg of Celexa than I felt a week ago on 10 mg. of Celexa. I've imagined that I somehow forgot to fill my pill pack with Celexa for Sunday morning (today), but I don't think that was the case. Just an hour ago I took an additional ten mg of Celexa (my wife encouraged me) to get me back up to a therapeutic dose. But it scares me what I've been feeling today. As far as I know I should be feeling my old self, the self I've known for years on Paxil/Celexa. I'm scared that my long-term use of SSRI's have damaged my brain to the point that I can't return to even the me on an SSRI, much less the me pre-SSRI. I hope that this forum can help. I know that many of you are struggling with these issues, too, and I emphathise and wish you well. Perhaps I can help, too. Thank you for reading this. I hope I've been clear; if you have any questions or suggestions, please post.
  16. Hi Everyone! it's been great to find this site and know their are others in the same boat as me. I am British but live in Spain but it looks like a lot of you are from USA. Well, regardless of our geography the drugs and effects are still the same I guess. My story goes like this........ I have been on antidepressants since my thirties and nothing ever seems to trigger off the depression. I am however quite an anxious, nervy person! The last 15 years I have taken Citalopram after my Dr told me I would probably need it for the rest of my life. All was fine - Citalopram helped me immensely initially and has kept me on an even keel since. I think it just made me feel normal - no highs or lows. Then in March this year I got a severe allergy to pollen that gave me sinusitis and an asthma flare up. My Dr gave me some antibiotics and oral steroids to help. I had a very bad reaction to the meds and ended up with increased anxiety, shaking etc. He suggested that I might like to increase the Citalopram from 30mgs to 40mgs. All was well until early September when I started to get extreme nightmares and heart palpitations. The nightmares were so bad I was screaming out loud. My mood was good but I was very tired. So the Dr suggested that either 40mgs was too high or the drug wasn't agreeing with me at all. His advice was to try to reduce or come off the drugs so he could see if I was OK without them or he would need to give me something else. He also advised taking 20mg for 4 weeks then 10mg for 4 weeks etc until I was off them. So, I started end of September and reduced to 20mgs straight away for 4 weeks. I didn't feel that bad over those weeks just maybe a little extra anxiety that could be managed. The trouble started when I went down to 10mgs just over 4 weeks ago. I got all the withdrawal symptoms full on. This wasn't helped by getting a lung infection which set off asthma again. I was getting even more anxious not being able to breath and was given antibiotics again and a nebulizer. Both meds can effect anxiety and I think they did because I ended up really ill. One of the worst withdrawal symptoms was not being able to control my legs and the weakness in them. I collapsed and ended up in the Emergencies with my Blood Pressure 207/117.They eventually stabilised me and sent me home where I am now watching my BP at home. The depression has set in and I can barely get out of bed each day and can't stop crying. I have seen a different Dr. who has given me Lexatin to take 3mg up to 3 times a day to ease the anxiety. I have only taken one today and it has calmed me down, but am conscious of the dependency issues. He has also suggested increasing the dose of Citalopram back up to 30mgs. I think the first Dr maybe have recommended a far too quick withdrawal for me as I haven't been able to cope with the severe effects. I am going to increase to 20mgs to see what happens but I am so scared of what is going to happen. I can't even contemplate coming off these drugs now. I just want to get back to normal and live again. When will I get any benefit from the increase and should I go on up to 30mgs? Any help or advice anyone can give would be so welcome - you all seem to have a wealth of experience out there.
  17. Hi, I found this website from someone's post who seemed to be going through the same as what I am. Sorry if this is long but I'm not sure which info is necessary! I was taking Citolapram for alittle over 2 years, mostly 20mg but I upped to 30mg near the end. I weened off them within a week but after almost a month I went back of them (20mg). I only stayed on them for a week and then came off them cold turkey. About 7 or more weeks since, I randomly woke up one day with PGAD. It's a horrible, progressive, non-curable disorder that makes your genitals feel constantly aroused, sometimes stabbing, burning, feeling the need to pee, zap feelings and a lot of throbbing. I've had this for a month now and feels worse these past 2 days (coincidentally I was pescribed Amitriptyline 10mg but after 2 days of taking them I decided I don't want to go back to ADs - apparently PGAD is mostly caused by withdrawing from ADs) I've had so many breakdowns because of this and there is no way I can live with it, especially because it can cause spontaneous orgasms and a lot of pain which I haven't got yet. I'm so scared and my doctors have no idea about the disorder and just try to convince me it's in my head which despite my obvious symptoms and causes I'm hoping it is. My history of OCD could explain it too. Before taking ADs I had a fear of farting in public which as stupid as it sounds, kept me house-bound for years. It went away after I took ADs and started college. Then a year later I had a bad sickness bug which led me to a fear of throwing up, with that I felt sick literally every single day and not always just mildly. I had tests but nothing explained it. Then I started hearing alot about PGAD just before mine started, once mine started my sickness has completely gone (so all this time it must have been in my head which is crazy because I almost threw up it was so bad). And now I'm getting all these symptoms of PGAD constantly. But I'm still not convinced it's all in my head because it is a fact that withdrawing from ADs too fast can cause it, plus I think I have some damage in my pelvice since I went on an exercise bike during my 2nd withdrawals. This gave me what I thought was piles in my perineum which went away after a week and then came back with my PGAD. I have a huge skin tag in my perineum which fills and becomes solid if I'm too active and I start getting a pain around it (in my legs/butt cheeks). I'm thinking I've damaged my pelvic floor and that these things could be connected? Although the PGAD didn't start straight away? I'm sorry this was so long but I am so so terrified of having this disorder, it is honestly such a horrible, embarrassing, painful and hopeless thing to live with and has always been my biggest fear since I learnt about it. I have so many things that could have caused it which makes me think that maybe it isn't just in my head. It's driving me crazy and if anyone has any hope or experience like this I would really love to hear from you. Sorry again for the long post.
  18. Hi all Last June I stopped 20mg of Citalopram that I had been taking on and off for 8 years. My doctor advised me to taper over 2 weeks! Months 0-3 were bad but not too bad. 3-6 were bad, some very severe waves and really bad OCD, which Ive never normally had. 7-9 waves started decreasing. 9-11 windows have been more clearer but still getting bad waves My windows seem to be getting progressively better. I keep thinking I'm back to my normal self and then get hit with a wave and come back feeling more normal. Recently Ive been getting more intrusive thoughts. My nervous system and physical symptoms seem to have got worse recently. I had some MSG on friday which messed me up. Im still getting physical sweats now. This wave has been the most severe Ive had for a long time. Has anyone noticed their nervous system get worse? Thanks
  19. Hi everyone, thank you so much for reading this! Ive had a really bad two years. I will give a bit of history. I am 29 now. From 16-21 I was on 20 or 40 mg celexa. I honestly can not remember. For extreme anxiety. It honestly helped me so much. I quit it cold turkey and dont remember having many symptoms. Ive always struggled with anxiety though. Fast forward to 2014. I had my first and only child. Right after i had her I knew something was wrong. I didnt sleep for 5 days straight, heart racing, high BP etc. My dr put me back on 20 mg of celexa. I went to my pcp and he tested my thyroid. I was hyperthyroid with hot nodules. Come to find in March of 2016 that I also have Hashimotos Thyroiditis . I am not on any thyroid replacement atm. My levels are pretty optimal even though my free t3 goes down a little lower than Id like sometime. I am VERY knowledgeable about this and now work with a naturopath who is also knowledgable on optimal vs in range and such. I was on Celexa 20mg again from September 2014 until the mid end of February 2016. This time I tapered slowly over a few months. So also in March of 2016 , (mid march) I woke up with severe vertigo. Diagnosed with BPPV which I believe, because the vertigo spins only ever happens when I lay back and look to the right. Thats literally the only thing that triggers it. Epley manuever takes away the vertigo, and I am left with off balance general dizziness for two weeks. But from march until June I was VERY DIZZY. I was dizzy pretty much the entire time, with severely congested ears. VERY annoying. I saw a specialist ENT, and my pcp who both said allergies and I tried flonase for three months and it did nothing to help. I also had trouble breathing , like chest felt heavy, and heart would race just standing up. My bp would also go way low for me, like 96/60 sometimes or stay around 100/65 . Doctors couldnt really tell me much. In June- August it pretty much went away with a few periods of dizziness. Now from October until now I am hit again really hard with a new kind of dizziness. I feel in motion when I am still. Like laying back or sitting still I feel like I am on a boat, or on a pool raft swaying on the waves. It is maddening!!!!!! My ears are also still congested. Saw specialist again, who ruled out Menieres disease and other stuff, and both specilaist and pcp say allergic rhinitis. Im on Astelin spray which helps lessen it for sure, but its still there. I also am having the weird breathing issues again, where the littlest things make me feel like I ran a mile. I hate this so much. I am going to have my home tested for mold in a few days, because I just dont know what the heck is going on. My husband frequents this forum and he is telling me that this could all be from my celexa. I just have a hard time believing I could be suffering from it the way that I am, this long out? I haven't read much on here yet because I have really bad anxiety, but I was just wondering if this sounds like it could be from celexa, or if it really does sound like allergies, or basically any advice. I really appreciate you taking the time to read this. Thank you so much.
  20. Hi everyone, I'm wanting advice on how to taper if my withdrawal symptoms are delayed - ie they occur several months after the taper is completely finished. If I have no symptoms during taper, should I proceed to the 'Fast Taper' guidelines (4 weeks x2, then 3weeks x2, then 2 weeks x2, then weekly until done)? In the past I have thought I was relapsing, and resumed the medication. Now I understand it was probably WD from too fast a taper (4 months). Any thoughts? Tikki Tikki
  21. Hi everyone, i have sailed on over from PP. Can anyone tell me what happened to the forum? Im happy to be here but curiosity is still getting me. I'll share a bit about myself. I was on various SSRIs for 10 years, mainly celexa, and finally tapered free Jan 2014 after a two year taper. Years before the taper i would switch meds hoping it would stave off the weight gain. Little did i know that i was in constant start up effects and withdrawal. Life seemed to have stopped at that point which is maybe 6 years ago. During this period i looked high and low for answers to why i was feeling so sick and bedbound/agoraphobic. I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. I do believe that withdrawal was the culprit for my symptoms and not lyme. Lyme may play a factor but i doubt it has the horrendous effects as discontinuation syndrome. A month after my taper ended, I took two months worth of benzos due to life events and had no idea that would start a new nightmare. I am now off that for 9 months and still recovering. Benzo withdrawal was a whole new monster. I look forward to my stay here and wish everyone the best of luck!!
  22. Interesting article written by Deborah Orr on her first introduction to Citalopram. She appears to have a possible adverse reaction to her initial dose of Citalopram. Refuted by many in the comments box who have had positive experiences with ssri's and who have really bought into the pervasive pharma position . Of interest, is the ensuing dialogue it prompts, in a discussion in the comments, by a poster claiming to be a doctor, calling himself "scubadoc'. Scubadoc is interesting, he seems to oscillate his position. I got as far as his comments in relation to 'SubjectiveSubject's experience of withdrawal, in which he appears discounts and questions the validity of the poster's experience based on his mental health. This appears at the end of some of the comments I've cut and pasted. These are edited from the comment boards, so reading them gives you more context. Still, I find it fascinating to observe the way it plays out as a sort of mirroring of what many experience playing out in their own visits to GPs and psychiatrists. ARTICLE https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jul/08/antidepressant-effects-psychotherapy-mental-health-crisis-nhs COMMENTS FROM THE ARTICLE scubadoc BraceYourself 8 Jul 2017 10:28 8081 It's all a bit strange: I, for instance, prescribe some antidepressants as pain-killers and actually talk to my patients about them. We have written a leaflet that adds to the package insert. We see quote a lot of PTSD, and anxiety is a common feature. Dissociation is a feature of the illness, rather than of the medication, but one well-known feature of treatment is a temporary increase in some features of the illness. There is the risk of suicide, particularly in young people, for instance. It's important and it's brave to discuss mental health, but it's also important to get the medicine right, or it risks degenerating into simple scare-mongering... streetphotobeing 8 Jul 2017 9:28 89 Listen to this Deborah Orr : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrMPr78UpQI Then study prolonged QT interval re Citalopram, you will notice it's dose dependent, well there is no such thing as dose dependent in the context that we all have different Cytochrome P450 liver enzyme systems. You will only ascertain what the phenotype of your liver enzyme system is if you have a pharmacogenetics tes,t good luck with finding one in the UK. Also if you happen to consume one of the common food stuffs/herbs/spices that block/inhibit CYP450, you can expect to go into Akathisia, trust me, you WILL know the meaning of hell if that happens to you. Share Facebook Twitter Report PolleeD streetphotobeing 8 Jul 2017 9:46 1213 I had a cardiac reaction (short pauses, bradycardia) when I stopped taking Escitalopram (same drug essentially). I was withdrawn far too quickly (over 2 weeks after 4 yrs use). The withdrawal upset my autonomic nervous system which controls heartbeat. I ended up with a pacemaker as my ANS/ pulse would not settle back into a normal rhythm. Since then it's been determined that my sinus node doesn't work properly any more. Was this long term use of the drug at a dose of 10mg or a withdrawal reaction which was treated with a pacemaker and misunderstood? More research is needed into the cardiac effects of these drugs. Share Facebook Twitter Report streetphotobeing PolleeD 8 Jul 2017 10:24 01 Did you make a serious compliant or sue ? Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc streetphotobeing 8 Jul 2017 11:08 1819 Listen to this, streetphotobeing: a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, particularly if you don't understand it. Yes, cytochrome expression is polymorphic. Yes, drug metabolism is affected by the cytochromes that you happen to have. Yes, a small number of people are more sensitive to adverse effects. The answer? Stop the pill that's the problem! Simples... ... yes, I do warn my patients about problems and, yes, I do start medicines at low doses. doses. Share Facebook Twitter Report Loading… scubadoc PolleeD 8 Jul 2017 11:10 78 The drug triggered the problem, but the problem was your heart: otherwise, the abnormal rhythm would not have persisted. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc streetphotobeing 8 Jul 2017 11:14 67 I'd ask an expert, streetphotobeing, before engaging in litigation. Yes, we recommend reducing the dose of SSRIs over two months after long-term use, but the likelihood of a pre-existing heart problem would be like catnip to a lawyer... Share Facebook Twitter Report streetphotobeing scubadoc 8 Jul 2017 12:20 45 ah yes, I remember you, the doctor who didn't know that akathisia is not just a movement disorder. vivify 8 Jul 2017 9:29 3536 I think there will be many many comments here with similar poor experiences. I am British but live in Austria. The reality is that most countries' mental health systems are in the same poor shape. After suffering from a few years of crippling depression that had become dangerously total I just walked in, totally broken, to the first point of help, a GP. Five minutes later I had walked out with a prescription. The sertraline gave me panic attacks and mania, feelings I had never experienced. The trazadone gave me crippling anxiety and left me with permanent cognitive loss that I'm still dealing with two years later. These drugs are so hit and miss, so random, yet are handed out without any thoughts, warnings, considerations. For some they may save lives, for for others they wreck them, or finish off an already destroyed one. That the first line of defence is not psychotherapy but medication speaks volumes of a part of the health service that needs massive funding increases to move forwards, to re-assess completely how things are done and abandon this insane model we have, and that no politician or the electorate has really cared about mental health provision, ever. Although, maybe, slowly that is changing now. Too slowly. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc vivify 8 Jul 2017 11:18 3839 If you have severe depression, biological treatment works faster than talking therapies. A proper health service would offer both... ... but we don't treat mental health like a "real" illness antineoliberal 8 Jul 2017 9:34 45 Awful drugs till your system accepts them , get off them isn't pleasant either . And as for Tramodol , that drug is highly addictive and prescribed like they are handing out sweets . Lot more could be done with some of these prescribed drugs , awful side affects . Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc antineoliberal 8 Jul 2017 11:22 1617 Tramadol is moderately addictive, often unpleasant, and over-prescribed. It is also, sometimes, the difference between despairing disability and a normal life. Medicine is like that: tricky... mediaboy Pandamonium1 8 Jul 2017 9:48 3536 Another misinformed post. Leave it out if you know bugger all. You may as well be saying peanuts are harmless. I'm not saying people are allergic to SSRIs but messing with Serotonin has profound effects on some people or we wouldn't be reading this article. Have some common sense. If you take a pill that alters your SSRI balance, it begins straight away however small. If someone is at a tipping point it doesn't take much to have a dramatic effect on your state of mind. I know from experience, so don't spread false information. I know from experience, so don't spread false information. Share Facebook Twitter Report Pandamonium1 mediaboy 8 Jul 2017 9:54 1920 I also know from experience of being on it for 2 years so don't spout rubbish. Share Facebook Twitter Report mediaboy Pandamonium1 8 Jul 2017 10:02 3233 Ok. But that doesn't mean everyone reacts the same. You find it works and I'm glad. Don't say it can't do things in this article. You may well not have the effects described by the author, or by other posters, but everyone is different. Don't discount other peoples' experiences just because they don't reflect your own. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc mediaboy 8 Jul 2017 11:23 1011 Another misinformed post... ... ad nauseam. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc ID0570124 8 Jul 2017 11:25 1112 mediaboy implies the drugs are bad. It's not true: the drugs are bad for some people. That's a very different thing... ... as reflected in the comments. PlanetGeli 8 Jul 2017 9:40 12 One mistake you're making is assuming a GP will even know, in any useful way, about the effects a drug will have (have they taken it themselves? of course not, so how could they really know). Another mistake is thinking the GP thinks you are worth consulting about any of this. They often simply play God with our lives. (disclaimer; some GPs are obviously brilliant yada yada, still doesn't mean they aren't affected by the zeitgeist, or even the latest salesman, when prescribing). Different drugs do different things to different people but I've heard many a nightmare from Citalopram. And if you think that's bad wait until your GP decides they'll try you on Mirtazapine. And by the time you're some way down the line you'll think that popping pills is a hell of a lot of it, as opposed to there being "very, very much more to it" as your addiction replaces your mental health as your major nightmare. SSRIs? Just say no. Or even just say know. Don't get me started on Seroxat. Don't get yourself started on any of them. Share Facebook Twitter Report floripakid1 PlanetGeli 8 Jul 2017 10:03 1314 nnn Silly, ignorant comment on many levels. 1. So, don't take any medication that your GP hasn't tried first? 2. GPs often spend as much time as they can on a consultation, but they are limited by the NHS appointment system, plus they are general practioners, not specialists. 3. Many GPS resist the "incentives" to prescribe certain meds (many do not) and genuinely try to give the patient what they think will actually help the patient. 4. "Just say no". Who tf are you to assume you know about others' mental issues and whether mediction would be of benefit? One thing you are obviously not is a doctor! Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc PlanetGeli 8 Jul 2017 11:50 1213 Doctors are especially trained never to read anything, never to think and never to talk to patients about their experiences. We don't study pharmacology and physiology and we have never, ever discovered that drugs have side effects. We do not understand, and this we appear to have in common with our patients, that all treatment is a balance between good and bad... ... I never, ever warn my patients. I never, ever start at a low dose. I never, ever, give advice about when to give up on a drug, and how to stop it. Perhaps it is because I'm not a GP? Or I'm a sarcastic SOB? Share Facebook Twitter Report OutOfOptions scubadoc 8 Jul 2017 12:27 1011 I'm feeling excruciatingly irritated by some of the comments here and I'm just a person on SSRIs. I can't imagine how much worse it must be for you!!!!! Share Facebook Twitter Report Show 2 more replies PolleeD 8 Jul 2017 9:40 56 This drug produces feelings of intensified worry/anxiety when it is first taken. I found that on a 10mg dose - the starting dose - I felt much worse initially. Those feelings of numbness and being unable to access your feelings will eventually return because that is what the drug does - it numbs you. It won't help you heal, and all of those feelings you couldn't access in therapy will likely come back when you eventually come off it. Problem is, unless you receive helpful tapering advice - which isn't currently available via the NHS - you will struggle with even stronger emotions when you come off which mimic your original symptoms but which are actually your mind reacting to the withdrawal of the drug. For many people this looks like their original symptoms have worsened and they get put back on the drug again. It is this cycle of what is essentially chemical dependency which keeps people in services and which persuades them that they are either more "mentally ill" than before or destined to suffer long term. The issue of chemical dependency and repeat prescribing needs to be addressed ! Share Facebook Twitter Report FleurBaladine PolleeD 8 Jul 2017 10:11 12 Check the half-life of the drug. Some you can come off quite quickly. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc PolleeD 8 Jul 2017 11:53 56 I suggest looking at SSRIs on "NHS Choices" before saying what the NHS doesn't offer... KEY COMMENTS: ID2411130 amymcm 8 Jul 2017 10:14 45 I have to disagree strongly with this and other statements that one or two tablets of an SSRI can't have that effect. My life was almost completely destroyed by two doses of citalopram 9 years ago. The first dose left me, within hours with intense akasthesia that didn't go away for about two years. The GP said 'side effects were normal' in the early weeks and urged me to continue, so I took another. I then spent the entire night awake in hell begging my husband to never let me take another no matter what. I never took another one, but it took me years to recover. I couldn't sit down to eat or watch TV for a very long time as I was so agitated. It was like prolonged torture and the worst years of my life. It sparked off years of severe anxiety and agoraphobia. The irony was that I wasn't even depressed. I felt really ill with some minor psychiatric manifestations alongside many physical symptoms. Rather than investigate what was actually wrong with me the GP saw late 30,s housewife and thought I needed antidepressants, despite me saying I was not the least bit depressed. The years after the citalopram where the darkest of my life, and o am still now only getting to the bottom of my health issues and understanding what went wrong. It turns out I had Lyme disease with co infections, and we now know I also have a rare disorder- mast cell activation disease- which may have caused the severe reaction. The internet is full of support groups for people who had severe adverse life changing events from this and other antidepressants. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc ID2411130 8 Jul 2017 12:05 78 The internet is also full of people who think that Donald Trump is the Hand of God... ... it doesn't make it true. Antidepressants are both life-saving and horrible. Depression comes in many shapes and sizes: there is evidently a fear of admitting to depression. There is also a real confusion, related to the way in which some symptoms of depression are initially exaggerated by treatment with antidepressants, between the illness and the medication No-one should be afraid of reporting depression; no-one should be afraid if it's diagnosed. Drugs should be respected, but not feared: other treatments should be much more widely a available. Depression without drugs is the horror of Bedlam that we do not want back... may also be deleted. For more detail see our FAQs. DAW188 8 Jul 2017 9:54 1112 I too have been diagnosed with PTSD which in the past has led to periods of prolonged anxiety symptoms (to the point I couldn't even open the curtains in my home for fear of something intangible awful thing befalling me) which in turn caused severe depression. Twice I have been give SSRI's to 'help' by my doctor. Citalopram the first time, Sertaline the second time. All I would say to anyone who is taking these drugs is to be very very careful! I have never normally been suicidal, even at my most ill (just doesn't seem to be in my nature) but two of my paternal uncles and my Father all killed themselves before the age of 40. I was asked about this by both the GP's who prescribed me drugs and they still went ahead with the prescription. By the end of a four week course on Citalopram, I couldn't even get out of bed, which frankly even when I was at my most ill was not like me. So I stopped and recovered and was fine for around 7 years. Then I had a severe relapse and got to the doctor (new GP as old one had left the surgery) again and explained the problems I had had with Citalopram and so was given Sertaline instead. Well by the end of a four week course of that I was suicidal, for the first time in my life. In the end the police turned up as I had been reported as a missing person by my employer and I was very close to being carted off and sectioned. So again I stopped taking the medication. Within days I was no longer wanting to die and had begun to recover just the tiniest part of myself. When I finally got dragged to my GP (by my boss no less as she was so concerned about the state of me) I explained what had happened and also what happened previously with Citalopram and got the response "It can't of been the medication, it must have been a decline in your mental health that would have happened anyway, the SSRI probably stopped it from being worse" which is exactly what every mental health paitent wants to hear 'it's all in your head'. Hasten to say I swapped GP's at the same surgery, when I explained my family history to the new GP she recoiled in horror at what the previous GP's had put me on. She explained that for anywhere between 1-10 and 1-100 patients (apparently research is still undecided as to exactly what the number is) SSRI have almost a polar opposite effect to the one they are designed to have, leading to increased symptoms of anxiousness, depression and suicidal thought. One of the warning signs is a strong family history of suicide. I've learnt over the years how to manage my condition. Talking therapy, a good well rounded diet and exercise, meditation and being as open and honest with the people I trust about what is really going on inside my head. They've learnt the warning signs and so have I and it means now if I start to fall off a cliff, I or someone else can grab my hand and intervene to save me. I'm not saying medication doesn't work, it does, some people find it helps them in no end of ways to get that boost to overcome the obstacles that mental illness lay in their path. But I would recommend have a proper in-depth discussion with your GP before taking them (some GP's seem very quick to go 'let me write you a prescription' the moment you explain your symptoms). Also make sure someone you trust and who knows you well is aware of what you are taking and checks on you regularly (daily at least I would say) to make sure they don't see you declining. Often a friend, family member or colleague can pick up something isn't working before you can. Share Facebook Twitter Report BraceYourself DAW188 8 Jul 2017 10:05 78 I'm sorry but it can't have been the medication. Citalopram is not known anywhere to create issues like you had. I suggest other things were at play Thanks - take good care of old sport - a fellow traveller!!? Share Facebook Twitter Report DAW188 BraceYourself 8 Jul 2017 10:26 56 Citalopram actually now carries warning labels about its possible risk of increasing suicide rates (as do other SSRI's) and having now volunteered for several mental health charities over the years I have found my experience is far from a one off. As I said it does help plenty of others though. However I notice you seem very defensive about SSRI use (particularly citalopram) not a drugs rep by any chance? Share Facebook Twitter Report Loading… BraceYourself DAW188 8 Jul 2017 10:33 23 Paracetamol carries a label now. No not a drugs rep and hate the stronger anti depressants, they are soul sucking. There are many people who are a bit more up and down than others, more and more as the years go on. There is a valid place for this mild mood stabiliser. I'm defensive on something I've taken for 20 years and the over reaction and exaggeration contained within Share Facebook Twitter Report AonOlc DAW188 8 Jul 2017 10:37 12 Very sensible advice. Share Facebook Twitter Report mediaboy BraceYourself 8 Jul 2017 10:53 45 Thanks doctor, for your utter cluelessness. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc mediaboy 8 Jul 2017 12:28 23 We are trained in cluelessness... ... although if Brace is a doctor, I'm Charley's Aunt... Report SubjectiveSubject 8 Jul 2017 10:01 12 After Grenfell, I had the symptoms of PTSD. The correct treatment for this is psychology and drug-free cognitive behavioral therapy but, psychiatrists will deceive people and give them addictive and dangerous drugs. Never trust a psychiatrist, unless they tell the truth about medications. scubadoc Wiltsbloke 8 Jul 2017 12:35 56 OK: but it is likely true that PTSD can be triggered by a perceived threat as well as by a real one, so objectively minor trauma can actually generate the syndrome. placebo effect. Share Facebook Twitter Report cassandrasshrink 8 Jul 2017 10:06 23 Dear lovely Deborah. If you're not already working with a sensorimotor therapist and doing some EMDR work it really really helps. Not a quick fix but the safest thing you'll find. Take care, be well. Share scubadoc cassandrasshrink 8 Jul 2017 12:39 45 Good grief! That took a long time to appear, despite being one of the major therapies: there seems to have been little mention of the importance of combining drugs with other treatments. My practice includes a lot of reactive depression and we rarely use antidepressants for it: GPs seem to use them a lot. Replies may also be deleted. For more detail see our FAQs. SubjectiveSubject 8 Jul 2017 10:11 12 Akathisia from poisoning and/or withdrawal is horrible and dangerous and often causes suicidal ideation and high risk of suicide. The fact is many people do not have the chemistry to handle these toxic drugs and here in the UK, they bypass the testing to see whether it is safe to give patients medications. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc SubjectiveSubject 8 Jul 2017 12:53 45 I don"t mean to be nasty, but I'm worried about you: you seem agitated and unwell. I know that you are worried about medication, but could you contact local help, like Healthy Minds or the equivalent, of you can"t face your GP? If you were involved in Grenfell, then there has been more than enough stress to go around. You can refuse drugs, it's your body and your mind, but things sound very difficult for you. A discussion about the comtroversial subject of drugs in mental health isn"t a good place to get advice, as you are getting extremes of opinion and garbled evidence, even "fake news". Share Facebook Twitter Report SubjectiveSubject scubadoc 8 Jul 2017 12:57 12 My experience of Grenfell is being treated by professional therapy that has worked. My experience of medication goes back years when I was coerced and poisoned, suffering near-fatal side-effects. This is how I know the industry is a scam. Please don't patronise. Share Facebook Twitter Report SubjectiveSubject scubadoc 8 Jul 2017 13:01 This comment was removed by a moderator because it didn't abide by our community standards. Replies may also be deleted. For more detail see our FAQs. Facebook Twitter Rep
  23. I have had the good fortune to confer with some of the top brain researchers in the world this past 4 years. Michael M. Merzenich who has had several PBS brain specials, Robert Sapolsky at Stanford, Daniel Amen (also many PBS brain specials) Malcom Lader in the UK and many others. Off the subject of exercise but Dr. Merzenich is considered the father of neuroplasticity research and he told me to study primates brain ability to heal they give them SSRI's then stop them. OK Exercise - none of these experts had a clue on how to heal a drug damaged brain. The one common theme was aerobic exercise. There is a great book out on this called SPARK on this. There is also the work of the Cooper Center on the benefits of aerobic exercise for anxiety and depression being better than medications. For the first 3 years I could not do any more than walk - any strenuous activity made me critically ill. I still walk a lot and more if I am in a wave (which seems to be continual) but now I have been able to do some 10 mile bike rides. Has anyone else found benefit/determent to exercise??
  24. Hello everyone, Another one joining the ranks of survivalists. I've been looking and reading hundreds of posts on this site for a few months now and I've finally decided to join the community. I've read a lot about people's experiences and suffering, which is not easy to read. So I guess I'll get into what brought me here. It was in my late 20's I started suffering from crippling panic attacks and GAD, as well as having a low lingering depression due to always being anxious. I have no idea why all of a sudden I had my first panic attack, I did smoke some weed in my early 20's, something I really regret and wish I had never done, but like SSRI use, I can't take back. I've heard that can cause people to suffer all kinds of mental disorders later in life. I'm really not sure of what caused it. But I had it and finally after years went to the doctors when I was 30. They gave me the whole chemical imbalance explanation, said I have low serotonin and started me on 10mg of Citalopram, this within a month was increased to 20mg. I never knew about the dangers of these drugs, or withdrawal, Like everyone else, I was never warned other than stating I'll suffer some initial side effects whichvwill wear off after a few weeks. I was on Citalopram 10mg for about a month before being boosted up to 20mg. The initial side effects were uncomfortable but did subside after about 3 weeks. I was on it about 6 years and to be honest, Placebo or not, I did help rid me of most of my anxiety, I still sometimes got anxious but it was greatly reduced. I was honestly quite happy, I didn't feel like a zombie and I still had my emotions and life was pretty good. I could go to sleep relaxed and wake up relaxed, not the gripping a pillow mornings I had prior to the Citalopram. In fact I was doing too good which led to a bone headed decision I'm now paying for but that was not straight away. So I decided to just come off, yep, CT'd. I moved town and in the process ran out of Citalopram, this is before I knew about withdrawal and the dangers. Looking back I was actually incredibly lucky at first, for a few weeks I had head zaps and then, nothing. No anxiety returning, no anything. I felt normal like I hadn't come off anything. 7 months passed and all was well. But then I got a bad appraisal at work, something I had been working very hard on. I quickly spiralled into depression but not so much anxiety. It was there but manageable. I felt awful but just in a depressive way, I'm not sure it was a protracted withdrawal symptom or not as apart from feeling really depressed, there was no other symptoms. But it felt bad enough for me to go see the doctors. This was in early December 2017. Now I want to blame the Doctor but I asked to be put back on Citalopram as it worked well before. I had no idea about what reinstatement was, or kindling effect, or withdrawal, any of that. So They put me back on 10mg. That was 8 days of hell, shaking in the morning, nausea, restless leg heightened anxiety, my body jolting as I tried to sleep, insomnia, I felt highly agitated, I anxiety was so bad I was pacing around the house because i was just so uncomfortable. I called The doctor and they told me to stop the medication. I did, after about a month, the shaking stopped and the constant jolts, as well as the restless leg but the bad anxiety remained and the broken sleep insomnia. I also experienced pretty intense de-realization which thankfully has gone. But some other symptoms developed and have persisted. 3 months on from the 8 days of Citalopram 10mg, I have the following symptoms: High anxiety, but luckily no panic attacks Insomnia, I normally have no trouble getting to sleep but I have trouble staying asleep. Although some days are better than others Really bad brain frog, and slow cognition, which has been the most frightening symptom so far, when brain fog is bad, I can't remember details and I stumble over my words. This scares the hell out of me because online everybody says that's brain damage. I work in VFX Film, so it's absolutely devastating to my career, I find it hard to retain new information. Depression, I'm sure this is because of my symptoms. Morning Anxiety, the worst, I'm gripping my pillow every morning. I'm sensitive to noise , like a heightened sensitivity My brain feels light, like a weird buzzing lightheadedness crying spells, I think mostly to the suffering, self pity, blaming myself anger, mostly at myself, I have a wife and I can't believe she now has a husband who is not functional. That's the hardest part. tinnitus which is just the icing on the cake I've read a lot on this site, so I know about the sensitised nervous system, there is a lot to digest. I want to believe I'll get better but I read about Dr Stuart Shipko's views which pretty much states I'm screwed no matter how many years I hold onto the hope of recovery. i honestly wish I had never read that. I guess I feel fear, really badly, like, how am I going to live with this, I have no choice. I'm back to the doctors on Tuesday, they will probably try to get me back on an SSRI stating I didn't give it long enough for the side effects to subside.or to try another which is something I understand is a bad idea. The problem I have is, I don't know if those 8 days of side effects would have went, or did I not hang in long enough. I know I most likely will not be able to stabilise trying to go back but I've read waiting it out might not work either, so the choices aren't great. I think living with the emotional regret, and the fear of everything happening is the hardest to thing living with this. I know people will say, it get's better, this is a forum of hope, but I'm far off believing that. I want to, but it's hard. I feel bad for my wife, we really are soulmates, only now her life partner is a broken shell of a man, that's what kills me. So that's it for now. Thanks Everyone
  25. Hello, I am a mom who is helping her 16 year old son (under the guidance of his psychiatrist) to taper off psychotropic medications. He has a complex medical history with cancer and narcolepsy and mood issues. I am not sure what, if anything, his current meds are doing for him given how long he has been on them and how much he has changed in that time. He is currently doing very well and is in full agreement on trying to reduce/stop the medications. After 2 previous disastrous attempts to taper him off Risperal in the past (done in the traditional, much too fast way), I was able to help him taper off Risperdal this past year. He started at a dose of 1 mg (taken as .5 mg morning and evening) in June of 2017. As outlined on this site, I reduced him monthly by 10% of the current dose for around the first 7 months and then was then able to speed up the time between reductions (because my son was doing very well and asked me to speed it up!). He has now been off Risperdal for 5 months, doing well, and I would like to try and taper him off Celexa. His psychiatrist is in agreement with tapering him off. Although the psychiatrist (a brand new once as my son's old psychiatrist left his practice this summer) had never heard of the 10% reduction method, he is supportive and wrote a prescription for liquid Celexa so that I can give him a combination of pill and liquid during the taper. I have the liquid and I can start at any time, but I am feeling very nervous! I thought it might help to discuss my plan here. I also have a few questions. My plan is to, as I did with the Risperdal and is recommended here, reduce the dose by 10% of the previous dose. I have the 10 mg/5 ml Celexa solution and 10 mg tablets. My son's current dose is 30 mg, so he takes three 10 mg tables each morning. Here is my reduction schedule for the first few months, starting with his current dose of Celexa, and the combination of tablet and liquid I will give him 30 mg: 10 mg tablet + 10 mg tablet + 5 ml liquid (this is his current dose - just to be extra cautious I will give him a few days at this dose because of the change to a combination of liquid and pill) 27 mg: 10 mg tablet + 10 mg tablet + 3.5 ml liquid (I will have him stay at this dose for 1 month provided everything is going well) 24.3 mg: 10 mg tablet + 10 mg tablet + 2.15 ml liquid (again, 1 month at this dose) My first question has to do with how precise to be with rounding off dosage amounts. I have a 5 ml and a 1 ml syringe. The 1 ml syringe is divided into hundredths, so I can get precise, but do I need to? I did with the Risperdal taper, but I started at 1 mg, so I needed to. For example, the third reduction, rounded to the nearest hundredth of a mg, is a dose of 21.87 mg. So, for this reduction I could give him two 10 mg tablets and .94 ml of the liquid. Or, I could round up to 22 mg and give him the two tablets and 1 ml of liquid. Any thoughts on precision of rounding would be appreciated! My second question is what would be a good drink to mix the liquid Celexa into. I put the Risperdal into a very small amount of milk. I am thinking of using milk again. Thank you!
×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.