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  1. Moved from Events, actions, controversies forum; Topic title: My bad experience with psychiatrist drugs (Antipsychotic) So hello everyone! My near real life name is June, i'm 19 years old. I want to share a story and open a discussion about my bad experience with these meds. So back in 2021 i was admitted to mental hospital due to my behavior. I took all of the drugs with high dose that i didn't think it was that high at that time, never been on psychiatrist before. Then they diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia (i read the paper as soon as i'm out from the hospital), it is sucks. I'm honestly didn't feels like i have schizophrenia, i have no signs/symptoms. No hallucination, no whisper or whatsoever. It's just me being a depressed teen, so sad. That i was misdiagnosed with this illness which led me to this current problems. So back when i was on those meds at the facility, i took all of them (abilify,clozapine, and depakote) it didn't go with very well. My psychiatrist forced me to take it all, i couldn't resist. After all these meds successfully made me lose appetite and had me vomited a lot. I ate just 2 table spoon/day at that time for couple weeks, yet they still heeds the fact that it's the results of the medication. Whilst what i'm actually feels that, i have no appetite and is suffering from terrible reaction of those meds and i'm in the agony. Long story short, i cut them off as soon as i get out from mental hospital. I sooni began to suffering from what i think it's called "withdrawal", i was in and out hospital and IVed several times due to vomiting and many other things. My dad,my mom and i got infected with covid-19 and presumably due to my very high access of in and out hospital, eventually he died on August 10th 2021. I feel so stressed and regretted my decision of seeking help to professional, i really feels like lost everything, with disease that u have after took those meds and my family conditions that not goes with very well. It made me think that i distrust them and all i want is at least can be functioning like normal again and help my mom and all of family. the only limitation is this unknown disease/symptoms that i have from taking those meds. Please could you guys help me out? my current condition of side effects : - IBS D (i got really sensitive gut) everytime i eats, i will go to the loo. - Insomnia - A bit agitation The rest they've gone gradually, but the IBS still not good, it didn't go. some day i feels normal, most of the day i feels sh*tty and sick.
  2. I have had an account here for a long time. I do not believe I ever did an introduction. I was just speaking with someone who recommended I come here. I am suffering in so many ways and I feel so alone. I am becoming more hopeless every day and am afraid I am going to end up in a hospital. I have little time to even write now because there is way too much going on in my life. I need help. There is no where to go for help. 1- I was started on high doses of xanax in 1997 and continued until they switched me to 4mg klonopin in 2013 during a hospitalization. CT off xanax for a few days which I thought I was going to die. Then Klonopin, which has wreaked havoc in my life and mind and body. 2- Besides these two benzos, doctors have tried their "cocktails" on me. I do not remember every drugs, but these I remember: First, the xanax and the klonopin. Plus they have pulled me off, put me on, rearranged etc over and over the following drugs: remeron, cymbalta, zyprexa, celexa, serzone, brintellix (I think they renamed trintellix), lexapro, effexor, prozac, trazadone, abilify, wellbutrin, ritalin, seroquel, latuda, pristiq, melatonin, ambien, paxil, zoloft, vistaril, vyvanse, lamictal, cogentin, rexulti, and more. I cannot remember all. Life is a blur for these past almost 25 years of polydrugging. Now I am on here for my son as well - we both need help 3- Recent trauma: 2014 youngest son starts becoming delusional and episodes of psychosis. 2015: my father is euthanized in front of me and my family because of other family member's decisions for him - even though he was not dying, was completely alert and had his mind. He was not in hospice. It is a long story and traumatic. 2015: son's psychosis getting worse with son and he moves to another state to live with his brother. 1-4-2016: my son (youngest of four) parked a car and sliced his throat open with a knife- cutting through his trachea. Somehow lived. Got out of car, ran up 7 flights of a construction zone to jump. Construction workers stop him. I get call from hospital and fly to that state the next day. Son had to have 4 hour surgery to put his throat back together. He was in medical for 40 days with trach and feeding tubes. Then in psych. Then they sent him home with me. The rest of 2016 was complete chaos of hospitalizations for him - did not realize it was the drugs they were forcing on him. I was stupid. They messed him up so badly - 30 days of overdrugging in a "stabilization" unit. (he was the MOST unstable here!) Upon D/C, they discontinued his meds and gave him an injection of Abilify Maintena. Severe reaction to this. No sleep, severe akathathsia, pacing the floors night and day, hardly eating -- exactly 2 weeks later - he was arrested. In jail 14 months where they tried multiple drugs on him. Finally putting him on Clozapine and Effexor. Then he was court ordered to a residential treatment center. The doctor there increased the Clozapine from 300mg to 500mg. 225mg effexor. He was getting through the court ordered program for 10 months. Then they ran out of his Clozapine. I really do not know all details because I have learned how corrupt they are. He was forced hospitalized. Day 1: forcibly injected with Haldol X2, Ativan X3, Versed X2, Geodon X1. While he was suffering withdraws from the abrupt CT cessation of 500mg of Clozapine and now the cessation of 225mg of Effexor - both forced upon him by the "professionals". Day 2: Forced injection of Haldol and ativan. I informed the hospital that he cannot tolerate haldol. But they continued to drug him up. Day three: Forced injections of Haldol X 3 and ativan X 3 and then they started giving him Benztropine. By the time I saw my son at visitation, he was almost dead and it was a gruesome sight. I will not give details but I know I suffer post traumatic stress from it all -- I had to argue with nurse to get help for him. He finally was rushed to CV-ICU. He had DX of respiratory failure, acute kidney failure with rhabdomylosis, dehydration, clozapine withdraws. The ICU doctor noted that they had to work on my son for 48 minutes to "stop vital organ system failure and stop further life-threatening deterioration of patient's condition". After ICU, it was awful - he was soon thrown back into psych. All visitation and phone rights denied him. He was kept in restraints, completely naked, hours on end. Med techs would hold him on the floor while other techs kicked and beat him in the head. They continued to forcibly drug him with thorazine, restoril, ativan, even adding depakote and eventually starting the clozapine again. I had to fight for him for three months. He still has health problems today. I am his caretaker but I need help. He currently is taking: 500mg Clozapine, 150mg effexor. 4- Me- I cannot even remember when I started to taper my meds. Everything is a blur. I started realizing how bad they are for me. Knew very little. I cut the lexapro dose in half - I think this was early 2017. And I cut the klonopin dose by 1/4. Still, since then, a few different meds were started but I would stop them CT. Then I started learning more. I read parts of the Ashton Manual. I have been on FB groups. I have actually received a lot of harsh treatment from some people in the FB groups, so I rarely go on any of those groups anymore. I have a scale now. I shave off my klonopin. I tried lowering the lexapro but ended up going back up to 10mg and holding. Want to get off klonopin. But I am not doing well at all. I am exhausted. cannot write anymore. I have waited years to even get this put in here. I hope it makes sense. I have tried liquid titration with klonopin - disaster for me. I hardly have time to even care for myself - son is urgent. I am just barely functioning. So that's that. Not how I would have liked to write it. but mind is jumbled I think. I feel misunderstood. Hope I am not misunderstood here. I feel very much alone. NIghtmares- terrible. depression like I have never experienced. extreme fatigue, but high demands on me. I have to function. No one cares or understands about my son or about me. My son needs to taper but I think he needs to wait until off probation - maybe April or May this year. Everything I read and see about Clozapine and the horrible labels they have assigned to him - it seems hopeless. I feel hopeless of ever getting off klonopin and lexapro. This is no way to live. I am making no sense. Not even painting the right picture...for people to understand. How does anyone successfully get off these drugs and get out of the control of the system? We live in FL and they are "Baker Act" crazy here. Baker Act is forced hospitalization. They even have police come handcuff and take children right out of schools to a psych facility. It is only getting worse. I do not know what to do. I want to be free of these drugs. Also, my son wants to be free of the drugs. We both want to be free from the control of this holocaust type system call psychiatry. I know a moderator has to approve. Maybe this was not written correctly. Just let me know what I did wrong. This took a lot of effort. Even reading takes a lot of effort and I even forget. So maybe i am not supposed to put all this in here. Just let me know.
  3. Hello guys I’m new and want to give this a try. I’m currently 18 years old and wanted to give another chance to recovery. Although I haven’t been on forums before I decided that I wanted to join one after reading a moving article called “The Challenge of Going Off Psychiatric Drugs” by Rachel Aviv. I need a community for advice because many doctors don’t understand my sensitivity to dosage changes. I have been on different medications for over four years. I’ve gone through many SSRI’s and antipsychotics and some benzos but now I face a problem. I’m currently on Clozapine, my old psychiatrist said it would be a good idea, that it had alternative uses other than schizophrenia. Although it could’ve helped me get away from drastic measures it numbed me more than helped me. Other than feeling highly sedated I can’t say this medication has significantly helped. The night sweats and twitches were bearable for a while but then I felt I wasn’t ever resting I just shut off and on. I’ve been tapering medication slowly with the advice from another old psychiatrist but I still fear the dangers of lowering this drug. I can’t remember the last time I fell asleep naturally, my routine has been highly aligned with my medications. The nights are really bad and I can’t sleep a full night, I’ve been extremely irritable but I know the process is bumpy. I fear detoxing from this med since I’ve been through Benzo withdrawals and the sudden withdrawal of fluvoxamine. I want to keep strong because I know I’ll feel bette in the end but do need advice on how to properly handle this. I’m also on a relatively high dose of Paxil but I decided to start with the clozapine and take this one step at a time. Any advice is more than welcome and I’m glad I’m doing this first step.
  4. I am the mother of a 41 year-old son who is trying for the 3rd time to taper off of Clozapine (Clozaril) that he has been on for 20 years beginning in 1999. The first two attempts were in 2003 (Initiated by psychiatrist) and 2014 (initiated by my son with our full cooperation). They ended in disaster. This time our son, under the care of a psychiatrist, is tapering off 25 mg every 6 months. He started going down from 600 mg in 2015 and is now at 400 mg. --but at a cost. He always suffered from intrusive thoughts and lately these thoughts have been funneled into one terrible accuser who when our son doesn't listen to him, punishes him (with muscle and other pains and dire predictions). How many times have we heard from our son that this entity is only doing what our son wants which is to achieve greatness by suffering and that this "machine" can not be un-programmed. Our son has a degree in Art. The longest job was for 2 years, 6 hrs. a week on an organic farm. He has never had a girlfriend and desperately wants one. He has run several marathons and would like to run a triathlon but can't seem to make it happen, I think, because this kind of extreme exercise does not mesh with trying to taper off of a psychiatric medication. He has lived with us for ten years; we eat a GAPS diet, basically Paleo. Organic. Raw dairy. Good fats and meats from grass-fed animals. Our son takes supplements, at this point CBD oil, a multi-vitamin and NAC. Years ago others. This past spring, our son slowly added in Latuda, up to 40mg. We couldn't tell any difference which might have been because he was taking at the same time NAC and CBD oil. When the psychiatrist raised the dose to 60 recently, our son developed what I am naming Akathesia and so the Latuda is being discontinued now fairly quickly and at the same time, the psychiatrist wants our son to go back up on the Clozaril to 400 mg. For the first time in his life, our son is using Xanax to keep the fear under control which when at its worst causes our son to say he wants to kill himself. It would be great to hear from anyone with experience tapering off of Clozapine.
  5. Livelovefeel


    Hi all, I have begun a taper on the med that causes the worst side effects: clozapine. It makes me feel heavily sedated and numb- only half living at times. I also have fine motor skill issues with significant shaking. Here are the doses I was on: -175 mg clozapine -750 mg depakote I have decreased the clozapine by 7% to 162.5 mg. I have felt a clarity like a light right before I take my nightly dose. Then I enter the fog again when I take my next dose. Very hard getting out of bed in the am after my big nightly dose of meds. I am looking forward to really living even in the mess of life and possible withdrawal. I write to get advice on my tapering journey. I asked my doctor about tapering but she did not confirm so I’m seeking this community’s support. Let me know what other information you may need. Thanks SA!
  6. I'm 19 years old. I went on Zyprexa for 39 days. For the last half of the days I was put on 20mg. I have been dealing with the loss of my old self, but I have had glimmers of it returning.
  7. Hello to all you brave souls out there who want psych off drugs. I have been in the mental health system for 10 years, and most of it was because of akathisia related problems that doctors will throw shade at as not happening. The only drug that has allowed me to live akathisia free that I have tried is Seroquel. I haven't been successful at tapering, and started going down by percentages only in the last few years. I have to go 3% because 10% is too fast. I have got nutritional tests (NutrEval and spectra cell) for the past two years that confirm what this article is saying: http://www.optimallivingdynamics.com/blog/7-important-nutrients-depleted-by-psychiatric-drugs-antidepressants-antipsychotics-stimulants-benzodiazepines-induced-guide-vitamins-medications I am going through all my old hospital records to look at what I have forgotten. In 2008 I was put on Celexa and they gave me Inderal for my "presumed" akathisia. I have forgotten most of 2008, but these records are making me mad. They are so arrogant deny the torture that is right in front of them. I respond very badly to these drugs. I will eventually have a list like most of you have that details your med history. If you are tapering off Seroquel or have been tortured by akathisia please message me. If you are going through akathisia right now, please, DON'T LET THEM DRIVE YOU CRAZY!!! It is really happening to you and it has to be stopped. I don't know what else to write right now. I hope you look into basic nutrition as a way to feel better.
  8. Hi I was hospitalized for full manic episode with psyhotic features in July and I was put on lamictal 50 mg and clozapine 25 mg. I stayed in the hospital for a 3 weeks which for me was a horrible experience. The doctors did not giv e me any diagnosis at the time and after I got out I felt very dull and I decided to got off the medicine to feel emotions again. So I started to taper both medicines very quickly which ended very badly as I sunk into the deep suicidal depression and in august I ended up in the hospital again. I just wanted a doctor to write me an antidepressant(of course I knew nothing about antidepressants back then) but he said that it is probably better to stay in the hospital to see if it works. So I was in the hospital again with lamictal 100, clozapine 50 and the new psyhiatrist added 150 mg of venlafaxine. He also diagnosed me as bipolar( back then I did not know an ything about bipolar disorder ). I felt psyhotic, had nightmares and the whole hospital experience was depressive anyway. They also made me 2 ECT-s. After 3 weeks I got out and googled about bipolarity and everything made sense - the manic episode and the depression that follows it. I also found that I most certainly have to stay on lamictal. But I was not so sure about the others. I was very sleepy and dizzy all the time. The doctor advised to reduce clozapine. I cold turkeyd it and did not sleep a minute about 7 nights straight. The doctor of course did not believe that this is caused by the clozapine withdrawal. Then one day I decided to reduce the venlafaxine – instead of two tablets I took one and a half. Then in the evening I found out how terrible are the withdrawals from AD-s( migraine and throwing up). So I just continued taking them and have taken them for 3,5 month. I now started tapering again. My question – can I taper faster as I have been on AD-s for relatively short time? So far I have come down from 150 to 110 mg in a week and the withdrawal symptoms have been minimum. After the first day 10% cut I could not fell asleep as normally but no other physical symptoms. Yesterday I started to feel a little bit nauseous. My plan is to taper as quickly as possible from 150 to 37,5 and if I get withdrawal symptoms I slow down and hold. According to the graph of the SERToccupancy it should be relatively easy to taper down to 75 mg or maybe even to 37,5 mg. Then the fun part begins and I start to taper as slow as necessary.
  9. Hello. I came on this forum cause i have problem with black mind and foggy feelings in my head. Sorry for my english and grammar, i have problem with thinking and concentration. This is history of my illness: In 2011. i have problems with many thoughts i can not control, i have many thoughts in my mind and i can not stop it. I went to shrink and i was diagnosed with depression with psychotics features. F32.3. I drunk zoloft, clozapine and clonazepam. I was drinking it for 3 years. Then i stop with it because i got feeling like i can not think and feel, i was like zombie. I did tapering. From then, i did not use medications, just for some time, one year, some antidepressant, cause i thought that they will return flow to me, but they didnt. I didnt use any medications one fully year. But i still have this foggy feeling in brain, like it is empty and i can not feel anything or think. I dont know what to do anymore, I miss myself. Pls some help. Now, i use some supplements and vitamins. But there is no improve. Thanks
  10. http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/829790?src=wnl_edit_medn_wir&spon=34 Because you hear people say "oh no they don't give doctors kickbacks..." (well, I've heard it anyway.)
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