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  1. I went to the doctor for chest discomfort. I got a chest X-Ray, blood work, and an EKG and everything came back fine. My doctor thought it could be anxiety related. So she prescribed me Lexapro, 10m daily. I took this everyday for about 3 weeks, and tried to keep an open mind, but the drug wasn't doing anything for me, felt no different other than some side effects. I noticed weight gain an irritability. I decided this wasn't for me. When my doctor prescribed this to me, she did so with no hesitation, no warnings of side effects from taking it, absolutely nothing about tapering, and certainly nothing about letting her know if I wanted to stop the medicine or that there were going to be discontinuation symptoms. One week after stopping the medicine, I had the first panic attack of my life. We called 911 and I was checked out and was told I was fine. Paramedics told me it was probably because I stopped the Lexapro cold turkey. The following week was okay, but I started to get some general anxiety. A week after my first panic attack, I got light headed out of no where and then panic and anxiety symptoms sank in. I went to urgent care with my wife. They did another blood test, a full torso CT scan with contrast, a saline IV drop for fluids and electrolytes, and some benadryl to try and calm me down. After my second panic attack, I started getting pretty bad general anxiety and BAD health anxiety. I mean EVERYTHING felt like it was going to trigger my death. Random thumb twitch? ****, I'm having about to have a seizure. Random arm or leg numbness? Omg I'm having a heart attack. Even now, I have some dizziness, head pressure, and eye pressure and it's hard to shake the thought of having a brain tumor, even though I know how unlikely that is. It's been 5 weeks and 1 day since I stopped the Lexapro cold turkey. I feel like I'm progressively getting a tiny, tiny bit better every few days, these waves are hitting me hard. I went back to the same doctor last week and explained all of this and she basically told me that I'm full of ****, that all these symptoms are nothing, that Lexapro / SSRI discontinuation symptoms aren't real, and if they are, they only last for a few days after stopping, definitely not for longer than a week. She even prescribed me ANOTHER SSRI (this time Zoloft)... I'm switching primary care doctors now, and will continue to switch until I find a doctor that knows what I'm going through is real, and will actually listen to me. I just went to a cardiologist a few days ago to make sure my heart palpitations aren't something I need to be worried about. They had me do a stress test on a treadmill while taking my blood pressure and constant EKG, and the cardiologist called the same day to say everything was A-OK there. That same day, he strapped me up with a 48 hour Holtor monitor (a heart monitor that you wear and carry around for a certain number of days). I turned that back in yesterday and the cardiologist will call me back in about a week with results. About two weeks ago I started taking some supplements to try and combat some of these symptoms. I started taking fish oil (3 times daily), vitamin-B complex (once daily), and a magnesium complex (once daily). I've also tried to clean up my diet. I used to drink about 25-35 drinks a week (beer, wine, hard liquor, whatever really), though I did drink less while actually on Lexapro. I completely cut out alcohol of my life 14 days ago today. Woo-hoo! I also started taking a full spectrum CBD oil (twice daily) a week ago. It has almost zero THC in it, and the effects on my anxiety are LIFE changing. Unfortunately, anxiety is the only thing the CBD oil has targeted. Since taking it, my appetite has come back as well. But I'm still experiencing many of my other symptoms in waves. I know I was only on the Lexapro for 3 weeks, which compared to other people's 3 months on, or 1 year on, or even 15 years on, is such a negligible amount of time, but I feel it was long enough to rewire and screw my brain up. I just want this hell to be over. Does anyone have any advice or similar experiences based on a short length of taking the SSRI or stopping cold turkey and being able to stay off and get better?
  2. Last year I made the mistake of going cold turkey on Lexapro at 10mg. I was fine for 2 months until the insomnia started. It came suddenly and without warning with a series of electrical shocks on the side of my skull. Six months later I lost my appetite and don't feel hungry or tired. I don't know how long this will last. It lead me to being hospitalized on the psych ward and worse.I met with a woman who told me that eventually I will get my sleep back and my appetite but it will take another 4 to 6 months along with a computer program called Dynamic Neural Retraining system, vitamins, acupuncture, and CBD oil. I'm willing to try anything at this point as long I can get my sleep back. I went for a sleep study and it came back normal, but the problem was I was awake even though the brain waves showed I was asleep. How is this possible? I don't know. But I know I was awake. The same thing happens on the sleep cycle app. It shows 4 hours of sleep even though my eyes are still open. I know this because I don't wake up. I'm awake the whole time. How long this will continue? I don't know. But it's painful and excruciating.
  3. My brain going into dream condition but not into sleep condition every night or day when ever I attempt to sleep I have believed the information about remote neural monitoring in all over internet and browsed internet 2 years heavily which resulted heavy thought process ,doubts and suspicion over near and dear. So I went to a psychiatrist and requested to bring me out of heavy thoughts.He made me use lorazepam for 10 days ,risperidone and trihexyphenidyl combination drug for 30 days.After 30 days my thoughts reduced so I did not go to doctor again.What a mistake ,I was ignorant of how psychiatry medicines work and slow tapering nor my doctor warned me while prescribing an anti psychotic.It is happened in july 2016. From then my brain going into dreams when ever I attempt to sleep.In october 2016 again I went to the same doctor and reported about the condition I am in.He prescribed olanzapine silently.I started using olanzapine ignorantly and innocently.When i was experiencing stomach upset that is when I researched in the internet about risperidone and olanzapine. Now this is june 2017 I have tapered risperidone and olanzapine safely and became drug free safely.But the thing is my brain still into dream condition and not allowing me to sleep when ever i attempt.My querry is what risperidone and trihexyphenidyl and lorazapam [10 days]did to my brain?what chemicals they blocked.Now stopping them cold turkey did what on my brain?what chemical i should take to get my sleep pattern back.?If I wait patiently with time will the brain correct its condition naturally?Any brain researcher please help.
  4. So since last 8-10months until 21st april this year i(24years age)was rebellious because of physical and mental torture by my parents.Actually they are just a bunch of uneducated socially backward people.I shouldn't have expected much from them.This 21st april they say you are the cause of our troubles(i used to argue against them for them being too unreasonable in treating me like an animal)and took me to an indian psychologist.The psychologist for their monetary benefits put me on 1 mg risperidone for a week and also threatened my parents and me that i am the one who is illogical and trouble causing person in our home quarrels and must be forcibly given these tablets(God our indian society those psychologists even didn't listen to any what i got to say just took report from my parents).So i stayed on them for 2-4 days and developed mental and physical retardness.(I am being specific of retardness because i researched on wikipedia that these tablets actively reduce 2 brain hormones namely dopamine and serotin and our brain only produces about 50 hormones!).So on feeling extreme weakness i researched on web and after 3days left taking risperidone.Now my parents thought i will again become rebellious against their inhumane behaviours so they tried to force me different antipsychotics from same practitioner.But this time i was clever and searched the whole web how even these antipsychotics and antidepressants work at molecular level.And determined my parents being highly backward villager people who just want whatever they feel i left home and quit risperidone suddenly ie cold turkey.Now i started living alone for a month in another region doing odd jobs but feeling psychologically a lot better to be away from inhumane treatment by parents.Even today the withdrawal symptoms are real bad.After 25days i arrived at this website and learnt a lot from you all people.According to you all i will recover in 12-14 months and this alone gives me hope.Today i am a new person socially and financially independent(almost).Never will i ever reach out to my backward parents or such people.I learnt majority of us all people were misdiagnosed on such antidepressants and only a little simple guidance from a good hearted elder to be financially and emotionally independent from inhumane people could have helped us all escape from such risperidone kind tablets but alas life is not always meant to be so!
  5. Hey Guys, m 24 years old.... I was prescribed escitalopram in 2014 10mg,then after my dose was reduced to 5mg...So in December 2017 I quit it without tapering, which m now learning was a big mistake..... Everything was fine till February 5th when I had my breakup.... Suddenly my brain started behaving differently..... I started feeling like everything is Getting away from me.... Anxiety came back.... Slowly slowly symptoms began to get worse.... I used to wake up in the middle of the night, felt like crying most of the time, loose motion, sweaty hands, chronic fatigue.... Now from the last three weeks I feel like my memory is fading, it's like I don't remember all these years wt actually happened, I do remember most of the things but it just feels like I don't remember them with all the feel.... So last week I went to see my psychiatrist and he said it's a relapse case.... I told him maybe it's the withdrawal symptom then he said they only last for 10-15 days..... AND told me to get back on 10mg again.... At night I took my first dose of 10mg, the next day in morning I started shivering and feeling cold..... I went to pee and felt like m gonna faint.... There was a burning sensation under the skin of my arms and back..... I decided not to take these meds.... So m asking you guys wt is the best thing for me to do now.... Should I reinstate with the small dose and then taper it down or just hope that everything gets better with time?
  6. G'day SA community My name is Anthony and I have been lurking on this site for a few weeks and thought it time that I start my contribution. And hopefully get some well needed support without being too selfish. I would firstly like to preface my intro by thanking all the members, staff, moderators and founders of this site. It is helping me get through a dark time in my life that I have never ever experienced before. And it has been and still is scary. My story is long (as is most sufferers) so I will do my utmost to be as concise yet brief as possible without losing the important information. I would also like to take the opportunity to thank Aeroman in particular as His success story is what I have needed and his time and investment in answering all the questions from the members relating to his journey has been inspiring to say the least. I won't go into the usual diatribe about how I suffered as a child in a dysfunctional home from physical, emotional and mental abuse of which was the case but my story is more about the incompetent people in white coats we see as all knowing, professional, caring and are in their chosen field because they like helping people and not the money! It all started when I was 21 years old. I had recently finished my apprenticeship with a National Manufacturer as a HVAC & R Technician (Heating, Ventilation, Air Conditioning and Refrigeration) and was around two years into starting my own business. Things were going very well when all of a sudden and out of nowhere my heart started racing and I was feeling faint. It was fortunate and by coincidence that I was working next door to a Medical Centre. I literally crawled into the Medical Centre and was dragged by a lovely receptionist wo a consultation room. She got me glass of water and informed a doctor. Unfortunately by the time the doctor arrived my heart had suddenly reverted back to normal and I was feeling fine. Tired but, well. He did all the usual work up of tests, including a 24hr Holter monitor to check my heart but basically put it down to either dehydration (as it was the middle of summer here in Australia) or anxiety/stress. Anyway, I was given the all clear. A couple of years later, with out any warning, the same thing happened again. And then again. and then again and again and again. There would be sporadic episodes of this that would last from anywhere from 3 minutes to as long as three hours. It would also involve many Emergency Department visits, ambulance call outs, blood tests, tests for this or that, tests for something else more visits with a GP and yet nothing could be found other than that old chestnut. ANXIETY......STRESS......DEPRESSION. Duh...of course I'm stressed out, I am as anxious as all get up because I feel like my heart is either about to stop or beat so fast its going flop out of my chest.......and nobody can find what the...is wrong with me. So fast forward a couple more years and with still no answers I decided to start seeing psychologists, Chinese medicine Practioners, hypnotists, more GP's, more Psychologists, even a Psychiatrist who suggested the bad word.....Anti Depressants.........of which I have never been one to even take a paracetamol for a headache let alone nasty stuff like that. Well, they all promised they could resolve my anxiety and stress related heart problems but none of them ever did. I was eventually convinced by a psychologist (and my wife) to try Zoloft because I was one of those people that was either born with a chemical imbalance or I acquired one due to my childhood traumas. Well lets just say that those three days were what I thought at that time to be pure hell on earth. Stopped CT and straight in the bin with the free sample. With all the money I spent over the years I could have bought my own little Island retreat somewhere in the Pacific Islands. Fast Forward a few more years and continually dealing with my heart palpitations I got married, had two daughters, multiple businesses and generally a reasonably good time even though that this heart issue was hanging over my head constantly my Quality of Life was very restricted. Fast forward a few more years and Feeling pretty bad about this and being at that age where I wanted more out of life I hunted down a new GP who was the mother of my daughters best friend at school, I had known her a few years personally and my wife thought she would be able to help with this trouble that I was enduring. Well now is where trouble really starts but I did know that till recently. Into the first consultation and boom, out comes the Mental assessment questionnaire and what do you know, I have anxiety and stress bordering on depression. WTF? Being tired of all this I caved in, desperate for my heart to be normal I took the free sample of Lexapro with my tail between my legs, went home and told my wife who was ecstatic (in her defence she only wanted the best for me and a happy life with her husband and the big house and cars and white picket fence and she believed all the doctors saying I was mental blah blah blah). Sucked back my first tablet and went back to my life. Yeah, I thought my life was coming back and that these medicines really do work, why didn't I persist last time because I don't even think about my heart anymore.......A year down the track I went back to my doctor and told her that it feels like it wasn't working like it was 6 months ago, boom, up my dosed from 10mg to 20mg. Well well well, wouldn't you know it. 11pm on a Tuesday night I woke up, my heart was going crazy, I was ill, vomiting, fainting and feeling like I was going to die. Told myself to suck it up, it was all mental, I was mental, I have something seriously mentally wrong with me, the doctors and everyone said so.........three hours later I called for an ambulance, woke up my wife and kids and told them what was happening, my kids were freaking out......The ambulance arrived and as the paramedics came into my bedroom a thud and my heart slowed down to normal, I felt okay, all the stress and anxiety and ill feeling gone just like that. A two day stay in hospital with all the usual tests again and the doctor comes to see me, "Yep, unable to find anything, must be stress or anxiety". Great I thought. So much for Lexapro, time to get off this rubbish because I don't feel anything anymore, no fun, no anger, no happiness, nada......Two weeks later I tapered as per doctors advice and against her wishes I was off the AD's for good. Three months later I was back in her office begging for some relief, I was in bad shape, out of work and my wife again seriously wanted to go back on the meds or there would be repercussions maritally speaking. This time the Doctor said I now had Major Depression Disorder, those words alone stressed me out. Anyway, time to start the heavy hitting SNRI now, I was in bad shape she said..........Well two days later I ended up having another heart episode that was the worst I had ever had, I really thought that I was going to die, I screamed at my wife to call the ambulance, my kids started crying immediately, the Ambulance sent an Urgent care Hi-Priority paramedic who was in my bedroom hooking my with ECG leads all over my body, cannulas in both arms and then said quite casually..."It okay mate, no worries, your not dying....you got SVT. Just relax and Ill fix it for you in a minute I just have to get this ECG trace to show the docs and will get it done" What? SVT? Did I eat something bad, what is SVT. Isn't it anxiety? I asked the Paramedic. 'Nah" he says. Got nothing to do with anxiety. you may have anxiety from having this but having this is definitely not from anxiety" Anyway, a few valslva manoeuvres and a couple of jokes when the transport ambo turns up later I'm feeling quite calm. Off to the hospital for further tests and the Paramedics hang around for a while and with the Doctor explain to me what SVT is. Also known as PSVT (Paroxysmal Supra Ventricular Tachycardia). 24 years of my life chasing this, never not once did any medical or other professional suggest I go see a cardiologist but they were all too willing to take my money...............For those of you who don't know what PSVT is or don't want to use google, I had AVNRT (Atrio ventricular nodal re-entrant tachycardia) type of heart arrhythmia, there are several, of which I had an additional pathway next to my AV node causing my heart electrical conduction system to short circuit causing my heart to beat at extremely high rates which was captured on the ECG at 230bpm. Diagnosis meant that it was not life threatening, just very unpredictable and uncomfortable...No Joke! After my hospital stay I was referred to a cardiologist for follow but decided I should see my GP so I can stop the Prisitq because I have found out, after 24 years, that I am not mental, or at least the reason why I am a bit skiddish is because the actual heart problem. Again, my wife and GP convince me to stay on the Pristiq to just help get over the next couple of months until I sort out this heart arrhythmia and me, after all these years being brainwashed what did I do....I agreed, good idea, just to get me over the next hurdle because now I have to go and have a heart operation I need to be in the right mindset..............how stoopid am I? I am now back at home waiting to see the specialist cardiologist and everyday my mood is getting worse and worse. I am constantly crying, panicking, thinking I am going to die and I haven't even seen the cardiologist yet. This snowballs to the point that during my Consultation with the Cardio I was in a very bad emotional state my wife had to talk for me. When the Cardiologist found out I was on Prisitq he asked me why I was on this junk, I should get off it as quickly as possible, and medications like these are only for people who are in dire need of help and in Hospital. The Heart operation, Electrophysiology Study and Cather Abalation will resolve the heart issues and I won't have to worry about heart arrhythmias ever again. I informed him that my GP told me I needed to stay on them, well after that there was some correspondence back and forth from my Cardioligist and GP about this and finally my Cardiologist gave up. Operation day arrives and I go to the hospital, supposed to be a day procedure, should be home that night.......Two procedures and two weeks later I am sent home with some complications that the Electrophysiologist had some trouble sorting out. I wouldn't want to go into detail but I was an emotional wreck, my kids were destroyed emotionally as well I am happy to delve further into the complications during and after the procedure if anyone wants to know but, .Lets just say that I had almost, almost was going to have a pacemaker installed but thankfully it was found out that I had some complications from some "Medications" Namely a SNRI Pristiq. Basically I am still not right after three months and I am diagnosed with a condition called Inappropriate sinus tachycardia that needs to be controlled with some heart medications. Hopefully this will resolve with time. Nonetheless, I was totally traumatised by that event and I am struggling with it mentally still. So out of hospital I meet with my GP as I had lots of Chest pain, and irregular heartbeats etc etc and to finally get off the Prisitq. But no. now that I am in pretty much an uncontrollable state she suggests and refers me to a Psychiatrist to re-evaluate and possibly change medications and wants me to look at going to a Mental Hospital and to help get through the next few days while I am waiting for the Psych Doc appointment that I should start on Valium and Sleeping tabs to get me through. Wait, what. Now I'm treating this med with another med. Anyway, I'm so desperate ill do whatever......... Finally see the Psych doctor and she DSM's me as Panic Disorder only, stops the Pristiq immediately, but after three days break I need to start Lexapro again at 10mgs and then three days after that start 20mgs. Oh by the way, its because you have a chemical imbalance disease in your brain, you will need these the rest of your life, its like insulin for diabetics, most people are on these now, its what you need to live and get by........................................These nasty people play on your vulnerability!. Well I stopped the pristiq on a Wednesday. Thursday morning I woke up like a new person. No Crying, energy back, no dizziness, my heart was beating regularly and slowly and I felt brilliant. I told my wife that I didn't want to go on the Lexapro again but after some heated discussion, what she and the kids had been through recently and the potential issues going forward I handed my genitals back to her to put in her purse for safe keeping..........Start sucking those poison pills down again as directed by all those who had never been on this rubbish, two more weeks in bed feeling like death warmed up, headache, nausea, sore mouth, teeth sore everything, could not talk could not eat, that's when I woke up one morning and trashed the lot of pills in the bin. That was the day I Cold Turkey again Wrong move I know but boy, was I sick. The suicide ideation, the gory vivid dreams, the grim reaper and death is all thought about for those two weeks mixed in with insomnia. Well, I haven't recovered from these two weeks of Lexapro, they have changed something in me and I didn't get the relief I got from when I stopped Pristiq. This time Lexapro, only for two weeks has done something to me and I feel these withdrawal symptoms are going to take something special from me to get through...................These drug pushers need punishment for their actions. All these years of feeling intimidated by these charlatans and all along I had an issue that should have been resolved with a day procedure. Yes it was heart surgery nonetheless but still, my family and I are in a world of hurt now that was unnecessary. Thank You for letting me to get this out, I needed it. I am struggling with the WD side effects and I am concerned for the future and pain that is coming from this but I will no longer be controlled by these poison pills..........................
  7. Started off on Clonazepam 0.5mg twice a day in Nov 2015 due to acute panic attacks linked to relationship and work related anxiety. Felt okish. Was put on prozac 10mg at night, additionally. Wasn't feeling all that great. By January 2016, started getting counseled by a psychologist at work. She tried to help me take a deep dive into the core reasons of my sudden, debilitating anxiety. It did help as I started working on them steadily. She then referred me to another psychiatrist who stopped clonazepam and Prozac and put me on escitalopram 10 mg at night and etizolam 1mg in the mornings. I was improving but nowhere close to being totally normal. He said it'll take 6-8 weeks, I ignorantly believed him and continued. In the meanwhile, got everything related to my palpitations and blood pressure checked. Things were ok except slightly high BP, which then made me insanely fear blood pressure readings and get more worked up and increase the anxiety more so. By May 2016, had issues with my sleep cycle so he added mirtazapine 3.75mg (1/4th) for my sleep. Continued this and the sleep got better but the anxiety plateaued and didn't improve (Should've realised the real reasons by now, sadly I didn't). On my next visit, he changed the whole prescription and I was put on chlordiazepoxide 5mg twice a day, zoloft 50mg at night for 2.5 months. Felt ok finally and by Dec 2016, in my haste to stop the meds( hated taking any sort of medicine), I quit taking any of them. Didn't know about any withdrawals whatsoever. Never visited the doctor again. After about 1.5 months (mid Jan 2017), suddenly woke up one morning feeling totally disoriented and severly sleepy even after 8 proper hours of sleep. Never had the slightest idea of what was happening. Continued in such severe misery for 5 months. Had sleep studies done (mild apnea), and tried some sleep apnea "gadgets" for 2 months. No relief. Nov 2017 and I was told I had moderate PLMD. Tried pramipex 0.25mg at night until March 2018. No change. Visited a psychiatrist in April 2018 and he started my back on escitalopram 10mg and lorazepam 1mg (temporarily to help my chronic insomnia since Dec 2017). I felt better initially as I slept more but was fatigued during the day. Felt better in the evenings. He put me on mirtazapine (AGAIN!) as my sleep wasn't getting better. I was taking 3.75mg (1/4th) and then 1.875 mg (1/8th). I felt close to 85% normal but had notoriously put on 4 pounds in a month during Apr-May 2018. He thought of stopping it as I was on a vry low dose. Put me bk on escitalopram 5mg, supposedly low. I feel disgusting again after I wake up. Don't trust doctors at all now. Did my own research and am using Mg transdermal, omega 3, B12 and D3 supplements. Have started excercise to lose weight. Should I stop escitalopram and start mirtazapine 1.875 mg again? That's what seemed to help me maybe
  8. Hi guys, I am a long time frequent visited of this site but just decided to make an account today and share a little of my experience with everyone. Just FYI I'm a 28 year old male, had my first episode of depression in middle school, probably around 14 or so. After breaking up with my first girlfriend when I was 17 I went into a deep depression and isolation, eventually leading to me taking Lexapro. After almost ten years of continuous use that I believe led to some terrible life decisions I decided to quit Lexapro once and for all. I had tried tapering and quitting cold turkey at various times in the past and found it to be more difficult than cold turkey, so in February of 2017 I quit cold turkey. I have been off ever since. The windows and waves pattern of withdrawal described on this site pretty accurately mirrors my withdrawal experience to date. I stopped having brain zaps and constant low mood after about 2 - 3 months. However, since then I have had sexual dysfunction, anhedonia, memory problems, mood swings, negative thought spirals, and a strange pressure in my head off and on. After over a year I feel as if I have seen a fair amount of improvement, especially in the sexual and mood departments, which is very encouraging. That being said I am far from fully healed, and still am subject to regular ups and downs. The most concerning thing at this point is my memory, which while not terrible is far from where it used to be. I'd like to share some of the coping tools that have been invaluable to me during this process: - exercise (really can't stress this enough, if you aren't getting regular exercise you are doing yourself a disservice regardless of antidepressant withdrawal. Personally I have found that jiu-jitsu has an incredible impact on my mood, aside from being great cardio I think that the physical contact with other humans plays a part) - Diet (while certainly not a cure all, I have found that adhering to a paleo diet as much as possible has helped me quite a bit, I would personally recommend reading the paleo cure by Chris Kresser) - Fish oil (great for mood and brain zaps, I wouldn't have been able to quit without it) - Tumeric/curcumin (I have to say I'm shocked by how much this improves my mood, it's convinced me that inflammation plays a big role in depression) - sauna/steam room (I think it's also related to inflammation; I feel like a new man after a good long steam room session) - mindfulness meditation (takes practice but you will surprise yourself at how much better it will make you at controlling negative thoughts/anxiety if practiced regularly) - psychedelics (I know that the mods here really frown on them, but from my limited experience I can honestly say there is something there, and they can really force you to face the roots of your problems and deal with them)
  9. My medication history is complicated and in all honesty my memory isnt working all that well. I cant really remember a lot of my medication journey which is a scary thing to admit. Ill do my best to summarise. I started taking diazepam in 2013 i believe. I took it for the sudden onset of panic attacks. To begin with I only used my medication sparingly (and always, always as prescribed). I was seeing a psychiatrist at the time who was trying to help me find an antidepressant to help, however after trying almost all of them, i found nothing worked. At this point my Pdoc agreed it might be wise to take a small dose of clonazepam daily while doing CBT in order to allow me to do the work which would ultimately help me heal. Unfortunately CBT never did help and i remained on a daily dose of clonazepam for about two years. After deciding my clonazepam still wasnt working well enough to help my GAD and panic, i decided to try an antidepressant again. This time i chose escitalopram. I took 10mg and it worked after the first dose. Not many people believe me when i say that, but after trying nearly every other AD available and having absolutely no success, i know it was no placebo effect. I took 10mg for about two months, and i felt pretty good but unfortunately i also felt pretty numb. I decided to quit taking it. I cant remember if i tapered. But i will say i had no issues coming off. I found myself exactly where i left off before starting it. About six months later, i decided to try escitalopram again at a lower dosage, given i was still no better in terms of managing my anxiety. It took longer to work this time around, and in actual fact i wasnt even convinced it DID work the entire next year i was on it (more on that later), but nonetheless i continued to take it. I changed dose almost every week for about three months trying to figure out what dose would be best. I would try 2.5mg one week, 7.5mg the next, 5mg the following. And so on. Eventually i settled on 5mg and remained on that dose for a year. During this year i slowly tapered off my benzodiazapine by cross tapering from cloanzepam to diazepam and then doing a daily microtaper off. I took my final dose of diazepam on the 18th August this year (2017). It was one week later that i decided to quit my 5mg escitalopram cold turkey. I thought i was on a low dose, and i wanted to be off all medication. I wasnt even convinced it ever worked so i thought it would be no big deal. I did okay for the first two months. For the most part I felt really wired. I couldnt stop moving, my thoughts wouldnt slow down. I felt hypomanic in a way. My sleep was terrible, i would bolt awake straight after falling alseep and feel a strange terror and/or rage. I struggled TERRIBLY with restless legs too. At month three is when things started to change. I started to feel really unlike myself. I started to feel disconnected from my surroundings. I would wake up and not know where i was. I started to feel like i couldnt recognize the people in my life i loved the most. And i felt scared of them too. A couple of times out of desperation i took one off doses of my escitalopram only to feel better immediately, or at least by the next day. Im now in month 4 off both drugs and this last week has been the worst week of my life. I have fallen into a deep depression. I dont recognize my life. I dont recognize my house, my pets. Intellectually I know who they are and where i am but emotionally i feel scared of everyone and everything because its all foreign. It doesnt feel like my life. And yet at the same time I feel like im in some sort of time warp where ive travelled back 7 years in time. I'm having intrusive memories of 2010/2011. Not bad ones. Theyre mosly neutral in fact, but the fact that I emotionally feel like its 2010/11 is terrifying me. Its like i cant remember the last 7 years of my life. And its not because i took medication for 7 years. I didnt. I started medication in 2013. I AM SO SCARED AND CONFUSED. Im pushing everyone i love away because im scared and i cant recognize them emotionally. My poor boyfriend. We have been together 6 years and i love him so dearly, but i dont rezognize him. He seems foreign and scary. I have had DP/DR before but this is in a league of its own. Its like its my life, but my life 7 years ago. And im not numb either, which i usually have with DP/DR. Im full of emotion. Ive been crying hysterically because i feel like ive lost my mind. Last week i couldnt take the pain anymore, and i took a 5mg dose of escitalopram. It seemed to fix everything the last few times i tried that tactic. And immediately so. I would usually feel better and immediately regret ever taking the dose and interrupting my withdrawal. But last week it didnt work. Today i had the worst day to date and again i desperately reached for my 5mg of escitalopram. It hasnt worked. Now im sitting here feeling everything i was feeling before i took it and now im even more "out of it" having taken the escitalopram. I know how dangerous it is to randomly take escitalopram here and there. I dont need a scolding. My poor brain is probably so kindled it doesnt know what to do. Im aware of the risks and that ive been playing with fire. It just shows how desperate ive got. Im not sure this post will even make sense. I can barely string my sentences together. The time frames probably dont add up. Im not trying to deceive anyone with time frames for things, im just generally too out of it cognitively to figure it out. My memory is shot anyway. But for the love of god im so scared of my symptoms and i need help desperately. My whole life is unraveling. I dont know who i am and nothing feels the same. I cant remember my life for the last 7 years and thats the worst part. Please can someone help me?? I dont know whats causing these symptoms. Not sure if its just "me" or if its escitalopram withdrawals or if its a horrible wave of my diazepam withdrawals. I thought at four months id be improving but instead im getting worse. much much worse. This cant be normal. Im wondering whether i should try and stabilize on my escitalopram and wait a few months before embarking on a 5% taper. I dont care how long it takes. i just need the pain im feeling now to stop. Please help
  10. Hi everyone, I have severe insomnia problem for more than a month. I was prescribed Zyprexa on March 29, 2018 and I took it only for less than 3 weeks. I stopped taking Zyprexa cold turkey and I switched to Risperidone 1mg. Now, I have severe insomnia. I cannot fall asleep and I just lied in bed from night to morning. My insomnia been going on for more than a 1 month. My questions for you. How many days, months, or years did it took you to sleep normal again after you withdraw or stop cold turkey from Zyprexa? Did you have to take another drug after stopping the Zyprexa to help you sleep? I’m desperate for advice and help. I really appreciate your input. Thank you.
  11. Hi everyone, first post on here so will try not to jabber too much. I'm a 40 year old guy and have been on ADs twice in my life. I first took SSRIs when I was prescribed 20mg Fluoxetine for work-related depression around 15 years back. For about a year they seemed to work (in some way I relied on them after I got through the depressive phase) but gradually I felt more and more 'robotic', agitated and detached. And my sex drive went down the pan...lost all interest. In fact, lost all interest in everything. All felt grey. So, after two years on them, stupid me went cold turkey, expecting to return to normality fairly quickly. But it was not so. The disinterest got much worse. I stayed with the CT and it took a good 2yrs for 'me' to come back...though the libido never really did but in 2010 seemed to be showing signs of life again... ...UNTIL I had an allergic reaction to an antibiotic and was put on 10mg Citalopram back in October 2011. I was told I'd need to stay on the meds as I'd been on them before. I wasn't depressed at the time but blindly went along with the doc as the allergic reaction had shaken me up pretty bad. Initially, I felt mildly euphoric and life felt easy, I felt coolly un-anxious. But I couldn't ejaculate during sex, no matter what. And it got worse, to the point where I felt totally sexless, my desire just vanished in the worst way possible. And I started having crazy moodswings. So the doc switched me to Fluoxetine 20mg, after about a year on the Cit. No change. Dead libido, moodswings got even worse, pacing and inexplicable bursts of anger...so guess what? Cold turkeyed them again. Late 2013, about 4 weeks of big WDs, constant brain zaps and 'delayed vision', followed by huge bouts of anhedonia/apathy that still persist. And THE worst PSSD. No arousal, thrill, just this deadness in the pleasure centres of the brain. I can still love and see attractiveness but that 'engine' is...gone? It's horrendous, feel like half a man, like I'm out in the cold looking in all the time. Had tests, all showed fine but in a really good relationship right now that I fear is gonna suffer down the line. It'd kill me because we're so close and loving but I'm...inconsequential. 8 months and we just don't do it. Don't wanna lose her, we're truly soulmates. Want that connection back. That 'spark' in the brain...not there. For anyone or anything. Hurts so bad. I...just feel unsexual and I can't get my head around it. Nightmare. Am I totally messed up now, any hope, anything I can do? Tried ED drugs, various herbs, "He's dead, Jim". What a pickle.
  12. Hello, Im a 28yo male, from Brazil, and Im desperate! - 2005 start taking Paroxetine 40mg, no big deal, worked quite nice. - 2006 stopped cold turkey, not more than a week with brain zaps and I was fine. - 2007 anxiety and depression came back, like when I wasnt on Paroxetine. - 2007 back to Paroxetine. I was "normal" again. - 2013 depression started again, transitioned to LexaPro 15 + Wellbutrin XL 300 with very few problems, 2 weeks and I was fine. - 2015 dropped Wellbutrin cold turkey without problems. - 04/2017 Transition to Pristiq 50, for five days I took half lexapro pill + half pristiq, the problems started, nausea, headaches, muscle stifness, neck pain, after these 5 days, things were the same... starting feeling miserable =(, I talked to my MD, she said to taper off Pristiq, 25mg for 5 days than 12,5 for five more than, stop taking. First drop and the brain zaps started, insomnia kicked in hard. - 05/12/2017 one week without Pristiq, I cant handle what Im feeling anymore, the zaps are driving me insane, I cant sleep properly, my body and head aches, my concentration is gone. Called my MD and she prescribed me lexotan to help ease the symptons. Still not taking it. I dont know if what Im experiencing is withdrawal from Lexapro or Pristiq, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!, should I go back to Lexapro and try tapering it slowly or should I keep going like I am? I just want to get rid of the freaking zaps! Im quite desperate, sorry for my bad english!
  13. hi i was put on cymbalta and developed low blood pressure and high pulse rate....asked the doc if it was the Cymbalta they both said no.....went on it for 6 mmonths and weened down to 2.5 milligrams doc said just go off it did and went into withdrawal so they put me on prozac for 3 weeks and said then you can stop...well i have never been so sick in my life....it causes my bronchia to just ache when i put my sleep apnea machine on i am now taking prednizone so i can sleep and now my kidneys are acting up all my nerve endings are seized in my chest and stomache..and i am 26 days cold turkey...funny i cold turkeyed for 4 days and then tried to go back on a low dose and the pain was worse.....i am having such a bad time see a specialist on Friday hope he can help and...when i stand up my right shoulder and chest go numb so go figure...went to emerg 12 times they know nothing....go see your GP he said your sick on the drug so go off it and deal with the withdrawal and meditate....begged to go to the psych ward hoping a psych would know something about this drug quess what 4 psychs knew nothing...i mean nothing...i said put me in and figure something out...no !
  14. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I was stressed, tired, overwhelmed, didn’t take the time to go to the dr to refill my meds. Soon it was 1 week off, not bad, then two. By week three I was dealing with an infection in my mouth that was my third round. The endodontist redid the root canal, put me on another round of antibiotics and Tylenol 3 for the pain. That week I felt very off, couldn’t concentrate, and felt very out of it. I thought it was just all that I was taking but come last week I spiraled fast. Constant brain zaps, agitation and anxiety (never been anxious), and memory and concentration issues. I left work on Wednesday and haven’t been back. My dr put me on adrenals, 5-HTP, probiotics, glutathione, and fish oil. I am not functioning well, I feel like I have the flu and I cry most of the day. I feel like I can’t get a grasp on myself. I can’t think straight. Sleeping is ok, I have been waking up a bit. From everything I’m reading I feel like there isn’t much hope to feel better anytime soon. I don’t know what to do. Should I reinstate and taper or should I forge on? My personality is that I am very strong and determined and usually pull myself out of things like this. But this is kicking my ass. And I feel like I have no one that understands. Along with the guilt of missing work and not being present for my kid, it’s all too much right now. I feel like I want to climb out of my skin. I’m desperate.
  15. I really can't go into many details right now, as I am in the midst of things. You guys can read my history. I had a mini nervous breakdown after a period of intense life threatening stress, with with a war of nerves from family members, strangers etc. etc. too long of a story. I was misdiagnosed with depression, then as you can read I was repeatedly attacked with drugs. At the moment I can't read a book, go out, hold a conversation... I used to be a computer whiz and I can't re-arrange a few folders on the computer, I am completely drained of any energy, I can't cook for myself, and I suffer from mental pain that ranges from the horrible, completely intolerable pain to the barely tolerable. I 've seen all facets of hell. I 've gone out 10 times in 8 months. I smoke tobacco like a chimney. I 'm terribly addicted to benzos.I am mortified by what I am reading about tardive dysphoria. ------------------------------ Invega 9mg tapered to zero over 6 months Levomepromazine 25mg for 3 months Citalopram raised from 20mg to 80mg over 3 months, at 80mg for 1 year and 5 months Venlaxafine raised from 150mg to 450mg over 3 months (after citalopram) maintained for 1 year and 2 months. Alprazolam from 0.5 to 7(!) mg due to the immense stress of the ads. Down to 2.5mg. Discontinued abruptly with almost no tapering within a week and a half, against all guidelines first the citalopram then the effexor. Moclobemide raised from 200mg to 800mg during a month and half discontinued with no tapering. Fluvoxamine and Venlaxafine 300mg and 450mg, abrupt start, no tapering in discontinuation. 30mg Mirtazapin at night. Currently on 2.5mg alprazolam, Diazepam 5mg for 1.5 months.
  16. Hi there all fellow warriors, I have been doing the 10% effexor taper for the last year and currently am at 33mg effexor. I have been experiencing long term fatigue and been working with my GP to identify any possible causes. Have been doing a complete physical workup to check my health. Just got results back and I have quite significant hyponatremia (electrolyte imbalance) all physical causes have been ruled out - it is drug induced & the culprit is the damn effexor. The drug is causing a syndrome of inappropriate secretion of diuretic hormone ( SIADH ) Medical protocol for drug induced hyponatremia is to remove the drug responsible. My Dr wants me off effexor and sooner than later. My Doctor is aware of my taper but wants me off effexor much sooner than my taper schedule. I also really want off the drug but I am scared about gonig cold turkey or even withdrawing faster - I'm seeing my Dr again next week to discuss further. Maybe as my dose is only 33mg i will be ok with stopping more quickly but from what i have read here everyone says to go more slowly - on that schedule it would be another year at least before i'm finished tapering and it seems now i have medical complications from taking the drug this is no longer viable. I feel afraid, any advise most welcome!
  17. I was on Lexapro 40 mg for nine years and 30 mg for more three years for OCD - 12 years total. Got serotonin syndrome in September 2017 after combining with Saint Johns Wort and half of a sleeping pill the same night that my milligrams were increased back to 40 for the Lexapro. Three days later I was back on 30 mg of Lexapro and feeling good. One week later I had a little bit of an antihistamine to help me sleep and had serotonin syndrome number two. At that point, I went off of Lexapro cold turkey, fearing another serotonin syndrome. I had no meds for a month. It was more than I could bear, I slowly increased back up to 20 mg over the course of a month. I am at 20 mg and have been for about five weeks, but the withdrawal symptoms continue. I have not been able to return to my work as a teacher; my creative work as a writer and musician have virtually come to a standstill; I have severe depression now and anxiety and panic and many of the usual physical suspects that cold turkey brings. I am not as completely broken as I was before reinstating, but I am not functioning at any kind of a level, honestly. The doctors don't want to go above 20 mg, as they fear another serotonin syndrome. Can anyone share any perspective on withdrawal symptoms continuing even after resuming the medication, albeit at a lower level than before? I started the cold turkey 3 1/2 months ago. And as I said, I have been back at 20 mg of Lexapro for five weeks. (I went back up very gradually).
  18. I have been on Effexor 150mg for about 3years now. I stopped cold turkey 3 days ago , ( yes i know it’s not right to do ) so being i’m on my 3rd day will they get better, worse or remain the same?
  19. Hi there, everyone! I just joined today and have been a bit disheartened to find no advice for those who no longer have the option to taper. I was put on 225 mg Effexor for one month in October of 2016. After serotonin syndrome (which has similar effects to severe withdrawals) my doc had my taper over only 5 days. I was unaware that a new and more dangerous condition was replacing the old. I am still struggling with severe GI, psychological and nerve issues. GABApentin 300mg daily seems to bring the only relief. At several months past the year mark I am terrified that this is my life now. Like many on this sight, it's hard to see a future worth living for. Has anyone had success recovering from long-term damage?
  20. Please can I get your help, my brother was taking Citalapram 5mg for 8 months for his rare mental condition and stopped taking in July cold turkey (medical insurance ran out and as the meds weren’t helping, he didn’t think it was worth it to go back on when was able to do so and be done with it). For 3 months, he didn’t really feel any withdrawal symptoms and lived life as normal as possible. Then out of no where, he was feeling a huge serotogenic effect from any food he would eat to the point where he has just been drinking orange juice and eating mushed broccoli to avoid the serotonin syndrome like symptoms it’s giving him. Now even that has such a huge serotonin syndrome like effect after he took hydrolysed collagen as a supplement as it has no tryptophan and supposed to reduce serotonin intake but actually did more damage. His symptoms when eating most foods are Numbness in the head and his face, confusion, loss of coordination, his movements feel very light (e.g when raising arms in the air etc). And the increase serotonin gives him many nightmares at night also.) After over a month of trying find answers for this symptoms, we realise through this website (thank you) that he has SSRI withdrawal syndrome. Went to many to many doctors, neurologists and Psychiatrists and it took our research to finally get a Psychiatrist to agree that this is withdrawal syndrome. It looks like his nervous system has taken a big hit and now my brother is wasting away as he is barely eating to avoid further damage. Does he go back on Citalapram but taper slowly? We’re worried that as it’s been over a month of experiencing these symptoms that his brain maybe sensitised to Citalapram but we’re not sure and just very scared by the gamble of reintroducing Citalapram vs the gamble of doing nothing and my bro waste away. Please, any help would be appreciated!
  21. Hi there, thank god I found you guys! dont really know how to begin.. basically, at the beginning of July I went to see my doctor about my Social Anxiety Disorder that I've suffered with since I can remember. I was hoping he would refer me for CBT but instead he put me on 50mg of Sertraline. After 4 or so days on I had THE BIGGEST (my first ever one) panic attack. I was so convinced that I was dying that I called an ambulance. I went to the hospital and they confirmed it was a panic attack, caused by my anxiety. Of course I didn't question them because they're the ones who are supposed to know what they are doing. I came home and continued taking the pills, a few days after that I had a full day of waves of panic attacks - landing me in a&e AGAIN. I knew it had to be the Sertraline. I've never had panic attacks before, heck I didn't even know what one was! The following day I went to my GP and explained my situation but he was adamant that the Sertraline was not the cause of my problems. I went home disappointed and frustrated. These panics continued for 12 days until I decided enough was enough! I marched back to my GP and told him I wasn't going to take them anymore because they were causing mayhem. He laughed at me, BELLY LAUGHED and said in a funny tone "Well if YOU THINK these pills are causing your panic attacks then I'll give you something else" and he then prescribed me Citalopram. Now, I have been on Citalopram before (2013) for depression and had no problem with them so I was more than willing to try them again. BUT OH NO, They WORSENED the feelings I was already getting. So after 4 days of them, I stopped taking them. When I stopped them, I felt back to normal for almost a week.. Then withdrawals began. Swollen head feeling waves of panic stabbing pains in throat stiff muscles loose stools cramps pressure in ears tinnitus the list goes on.. of course I didn't know I was in withdrawals or that you could even have withdrawals because no information was given to me about them. It wasn't until good old Google informed me of these withdrawals just by me typing in SSRI.. And on the suggested list popped up SSRI Withdrawal. I am now on Day 36 of withdrawals and barely hanging on by a thread. Im Jodie, nice to meet you all.
  22. Hello everyone, thank you for creating and building such a fantastic resource. It’s so helpful to read about the journeys of others here. I was advised by my GP to speak with a psychiatrist in April 2016. The GP suspected I had depression & anxiety. I met with a psychiatrist for an assessment. I’d been through a lot of stressful experiences in life. Life had dealt me a tough hand, and I was already quite vulnerable when I arrived in his office. At the end of the assessment, the psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression and anxiety and prescribed me Bupropion 300mg and clonazepam 2 mg+ per day. I was never keen on the idea of taking medication, but the Dr said I needed it as I had “disorders” caused by chemical imbalances, and that I was lucky to have made it this far without it. I don’t believe that for one moment and now feel I was misinformed. If I had been warned about the side effects, I would never have put them in my body. I’ve been through some hard times, but the medication has served me with the hardest and most agonising four months of my life. To make things worse, after a couple of months seeing him every few weeks the psychiatrist offered me a job. It was a slightly unusual series of events, but I felt lucky to have been given the opportunity. I worked hard, was often praised for it and I was given reassurance my role was pretty much permanent. I loved my job. It gave me purpose and a role in the world. My self-esteem rocketed as I felt I’d been specially selected for showing signs of promise, it changed everything. However, the different roles called for different protocols, and the roles of “therapist” and “boss” required disparate and often conflicting styles of relating. The Doctor providing me with a job and treating me outside of the clinic caused the boundaries between Psychiatrist and employer to become extremely blurred. Even though it was unorthodox, I pinned a lot of faith on the Psychiatrist, his advice and the job he gave me. He gave me hope and faith for the future. August 2016: Prescribed Sertraline 100mg due to depression remaining and increasing number of bad moods. October 2016: While at work the Psychiatrist commented he suspected I had ADHD. Despite not suffering from day to day symptoms I completed the DIVA ( ADHD assessment ) with him, He prescribed methylphenidate 10mg 2-3 times a day. Over time I didn’t feel any improvement in mood, so the dose was increased to 20mg x5 (up to 100mg+ per day). I asked the Psychiatrist about alternative ADHD treatments as I was apprehensive about taking more medication. The Psychiatrist informed me that there were no ADHD treatments in my area and even if there were he would not be prepared to enter into a shared care agreement. I believed treatment with him was my only option. I was told there were no services or specialists other than him and the only treatment available was medication. March 2017: The symptoms started with a lump sensation in my throat like there's some thing stuck, maybe it’s my thyroid. I went to the GP who said it was globus or anxiety and it was nothing to worry about, but I know it’s not anxiety as it’s there even when I’m not anxious. Next came tremors, dizziness and chronic fatigue. I was struggling to think, speak and walk. I felt as though a part of my brain had shut down. I had strong pains in my chest, dull aches that moved around my back and occasional shooting stabbing pains in my back and leg that stopped me in my tracks when I did walk. April 2017: The relationship seemed to work well initially but became very confusing until eventually I was dropped not only occupationally but therapeutically. My false sense of security was pulled from beneath my feet. I'm sorry to say last time the Psychiatrist, and I spoke he was abrupt, abrasive, insensitive and rude. I’ve been left in shock, fear, trepidation and with more health problems than before I met the Psychiatrist. At the time I thought the stress of losing my job caused me to become unwell, but after discovering James Moores Mad in America podcast, listing to peoples stories and reading a little, I think I’d reached a tolerance point with the medication and started to have terrible side effects. By this point, I’d lost faith in the Doctor so felt I couldn’t ask him for help. I think part of me knew it was the medication as I went to my GP, firstly to find the Psychiatrist hadn’t been keeping my records up to date. I told the GP what I had been prescribed, and I was told it would be impossible to identify what was causing the problems. I naively agreed with my GP that the best option would be to stop taking all medication, however stopping without tapering has left me with a long list of withdrawal symptoms. I stopped taking sertraline, clonazepam & methylphenidate that day and cut my dose of bupropion in half for one week then stopped the following week completely. Every symptom I already had, got worse, tremors, dizziness, feeling unsteady, feeling like I might pass out, loss of coordination, back pain. The fatigue was so bad, I couldn’t walk for more than a minute or so which lead to me not being able to leave the house. My partner was having real trouble getting me out of bed in the morning, and after a few hours of being up, I’d need to go back to bed due to feeling exhausted. I think I was putting it down to severe depression, but I didn’t feel depressed, I just felt numb. After a couple of days of stopping I started to get really bad night sweats, I’d wake up stinky, drenched with my mouth tasting how I smelt, it was horrible. The chest & back pain continued to get worse and progressed to tingling and numbness in my arm. I’ve been to the hospital three times in the past four months in various states of feeling close to death but sent home every time. I’ve been to the GP many times as the side effects have left me with so many physical symptoms and feeling so ill. I had numerous blood tests and even though I felt like I’d been poisoned every test came back clear. August 2017: The fatigue has lifted slightly, the part of my brain that felt as though it had broken is slowly coming back, and I’m smelling much better :). I continue to have flu like symptoms and intense joint and muscle pain, mainly in my back, shoulder and arm and I’m not entirely sure if the pain will ever go away. I feel like a very rickety eighty-year-old. My GP finally acknowledged some of these side effects last week. They haven’t been able to give me much support due to stopping taking so many different medications at the same time and stopping cold turkey. The GP did frustratingly say some of what I’m going through maybe down to the return of depression and anxiety. I’m only depressed as I’m in so much pain and have anxiety as my nerves are messed up. I’m a little worried that the medication has caused permanent damage. I accept a return in my depression and anxiety, but I have so many physical difficulties that began following and since stopping taking the medication. I trusted the Psychiatrist and put my life in his hands. Looking back, I feel like I was led astray, betrayed and like I’ve been chemically assaulted. Before everything went wrong, I recommended the Psychiatrist to some friends who also became patients of his. They were given a similar diagnosis to the one I’d been given, told they also had chemical imbalances and they too prescribed a similar cocktail of medication including methylphenidate and told to contact him when they needed a repeat prescription. After a couple of months, they both began asking me why he wasn’t returning their calls or emails. When I spoke with him about this, he said they had contacted him last minute, and for that, he wasn’t going to reply right away as he didn’t do last minute. Eventually one of my friends requested to have her care transferred as she lost faith in him. The other works at one of his clinics, and is still having problems with him returning her emails and calls and providing her with prescriptions when needed. She has told me there'd been many occasions recently that other patients of his have called his clinic in tears as they are unable to get hold of him. I also know a woman who was under his care at the inpatient unit long before I met him. She said he had given her a combination of medications. She told me it made her feel like a zombie. For one reason or another, she was transferred to a different psychiatrist who questioned why she was on so much medication and immediately began to reduce her dose. No one was warned about side effects and withdrawals, supported, monitored or made aware they’d have to request prescriptions on the Psychiatrists personal terms. It was hugely irresponsible of him to tell people they need medication due to a medical condition and chemical imbalance and to encourage dependence on medication and not provide support, information, monitoring and often fail to provide the advised medication to patients dependant on it. I’m so happy to have found this incredible community and source of information, it's allowing me to start making sense of what I’ve been and am going through. It’s such a relief to learn I’m not the only one feeling this way. The support and compassion I’ve seen on this forum is incredible and a brilliant way of making good of what everyone here has been through. Trusting I’m going to get better and connecting with others isn’t easy at the moment, but I’m hoping it’s going to get easier. My heart goes out to everyone that has been through or who is going through withdrawal. x
  23. I went about it all the wrong way. September 2017 I went Cold Turkey from 20mg of Citalopram. Used it for 18 months or so. I stayed off hoping this would eventually get better. They never did. The first two weeks were the worst. Loss sense of reality, no emotions, flu syndrome basically all the side effects under the sun. 90 days I’m I reinstated. 5mg on day and was fine. Then 5mg the next week and was fine again. Then, 10mg the next day and got SS and hyperactivity. .5 Klonopin has helped with the on going dizziness and sucidal thoughts. Anyone out there with success stories from cold Turkey and unable to reinstate? Even a time frame. Waves of symptoms come and go. Everyday is different. I hope to hear back from anyone who cares With hope, Trevor
  24. Belinda

    Belinda

    Hello everyone. My name is Belinda. I was diagnosed in 2010 with BPD and prescribed Prozac and buspirone. I stopped taking both of them cold turkey about a month ago. The first week was fine, but now I find myself angry and impatient most of the time. I was only taking 10 mg of Prozac in the morning with 10 mg of buspirone in the a.m. and 10-15 at night, so I don't understand why I'm having so much trouble with it. I was prescribed 10 mg a.m. and p.m., but I also have insomnia so my PCP said not to take it at night, which I wasn't. I feel so angry, impatient and weepy most of the time now and am feeling like I want to do make changes in my life I know I'll regret. I don't know if I should go back on the meds or wait it out
  25. i became very ill last fall of 2014. I was separated and had 2 children. No support whatsoever from my ex husband. I had to babysit to earn extra money, I was extremely stressed out and I began to drink Monster caffeine drinks and also a lot of coffee each day to keep me going. I always had trouble sleeping but due to my separation and other factors, I could only sleep a few hours per night. I eventually had a psychotic (manic) episode which landed me in the psychiatrist hospital. I had never been been mentally ill in my life. I was 27 at the time of my hospitalization. I was prescribed lithium 1,200 mg per day and zyprexa 20 mg. per day. The psychiatrist never looked at the cause of the psychosis ( caffeine overload) and told me I was bipolar 1 and I would need medication for the rest of my life. I hated both medications and they made me feel horrible. Once symptom I began to develop while on the zyprexa was I felt no pleasure and was extremely bored. I was released from the hospital after a 1 month and 1/2 stay. Soon after, I quit taking all medications cold turkey. ( I was never told no to do so). I had no clue of the dangers of doing such. I almost lost my mind. So I went back on both medications for about 2 weeks, then I quit taking zyprexa becauseI gained 20 pounds in 3 weeks and felt awful. Three days after I quit the zyprexa, I began to experience terrible withdrawals symptoms. I have been off zyprexa for almost four months now and it's been pure hell. A lot of the physical withdrawal symptoms have gone; howvever, I ended up getting rebound depression from stopping the zyprexa cold turkey and I have anhedonia as a main symptom which is really really difficult for me to cope with. I have lost the pleasure that I once had when I was not sick. I cannot feel and pleasure in life and I feel that the drug has ruined me for ever. Every day is a constant struggle as I wake up in the morning and realize that I am not getting better. I fear that my brain was damaged. I have 2 young children who are being taken care of by my mother because I have lost all motivation as well. I find through my endless searches on the internet that there are not many people who have fully recovered from anhedonia. I do not want to see any doctors concerning this because I know they will just tell me that I am going through depression again because I quit taking the medication and they will tell me to back back on them. I began to experience loss of pleasure and extreme boredom while on zyprexa. I have also tapered my lithium down from 1,200 mg to 300 mg. I am scared to taper more at this point. I hope I can receive some help and support through people on this site that have been through this and hopefully they can offer some hope for me.
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