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  1. Hi all, i'll try to describe my problems and my situation and maybe I can get some advice? I'm 28 y/o, have had depression, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, intrusive thoughts, racing thoughts 24/7 (my mind is never silent) attention problems, and executive dysfunction notably since at least 16-18 years old, and i've had OCD like features since I was like 7 as far as I can remember, particularly strong since at least 16 years old. Refused to try any medication up until 2018. Had a scary first bout of what was arguably psychotic thinking in 2016. Here's a brief history: March-ish 2018: Took Wellbutrin about a handful of times, can't remember doseMarch-ish 2018: Took Seroquel a handful of times, can't remember doseMarch-ish 2018- November 2019: Took Sertraline, went from 25 mg to 125 mgs. Foolishly cold turkeyed February 2021: Took Buspar a handful of times, can't remember dose February 2021: Took Luvox maybe like 6 times, nearly killed me and devastated me for months beyond belief March-June 2021: Reinstated Sertraline in an attempt to stop the horrible effects of Luvox (tapered over 2 weeks I think, i'm a little surprised at how my memory seems a bit shot atm) I cold turkeyed Sertraline foolishly out of ignorance and due to life circumstances, and I think I remember not taking it as prescribed daily all too well in the first place. Over the last 2.5 years since then, I have noticeably declined and I believe it is likely protracted withdrawal. I now suffer from everything I mentioned previously but it's all generally worse than a few years ago. Since mid 2020 I have really gone down hill and now suffer from the following daily/regularly: - A considerably more panicked and anxious base level of consciousness - Constant racing thoughts, my mind is never clear/scary intrusive thoughts - Recurrent terrifying "depression attacks/bouts" where i feel depression/anxiety that is so intense in their particular windows that they feel like panic attacks but more "depression-like" if that makes sense. - Body temperature disturbances where I feel regular hot flashes/heat sensations running down my body - The Luvox I tried last year gave me the worst panic and depression of my life, I felt like I was in a 2 - 3 month prolonged panic attack and I got burning skin sensations that felt like being burned alive that thankfully have dissipated now but lasted from about February to July 2021. - Chronic fatigue and a constant feeling that someone is pulling me down from my back, making me want to just lay down on a bed. When I feel the fatigue + hot flashes + depression attacks + some confusion at the same time it feels like i'm in hell. - Severe executive dysfunction coupled with OCD, makes it so I feel like i'm paralyzed and at the same time I feel like the only thing i can keep doing and keep my attention on is watching youtube. I'm a school teacher and the school year just ended, I could never get anything done because of my executive dysfunction and it is an absolute miracle that I lasted the whole year. I do feel though that when i'm totally into what i'm doing at school there are times where I, dare i say, feel "normal" and "fine," with the exception of lingering social anxiety and severe executive dysfunction that is always there." Now that vacation has started it, i've gotten worse, same thing happened every school weekend. I go crazy when just at home. I'm currently trying to fight through my executive dysfunction in order to set up a new PCP and finally make a doctor's appointment to see if I can get a "full work up," whatever that means, in order to gauge my health and rule out auto immune diseases or other things. It's a miracle I can even hold my attention long enough to write this atm, what tips can you give me in regards to things I can do to naturally heal, things I can ask my doctor, tests that I should request my doctor, etc? Honestly a few weeks ago I kept daydreaming about trying stimulants (bare in mind that I am very skeptical towards psychiatry now) because of how bad my executive dysfunction is but now I feel more mentally damaged in general now and I have no idea what to do.
  2. Hello everyone, I am very thankful to be here. I am completely new to the site and looking for advice and guidance. I quit 20 mg of fluoxetine cold turkey about 7 weeks ago. I had been told by both my PCP and psych nurse practitioner that is was "such a low dose" that I would probably do fine. The first thing I noticed was irritability, followed by depressed mood, insomnia, and now anxiety/worry/fear. History: 2009 (age 27)-2019: Start 20 mg of escitalopram for eating disorder and major depressive disorder. Sxs alleviated. 2016-2019: Slow, gradual taper off of escitalopram with final dose July 2019. 3 months later: insomnia, fear/doom, excessive anxiety to the point of not functioning in life. 2020: Started 30 mg fluoxetine for anxiety sxs. 2021: Reduce to 20 mg, no problems June of 2022: Quit 20 mg of fluoxetine, cold turkey. Current complaints after 6-7 weeks: quickly noticed high irritability. Now bad insomnia. Also return of depressed mood, anxiety/fear/doom about things that are very much under control and okay, worse on days that I get very bad sleep. Occasionally able to sleep a solid night. In hindsight, I really wish I would've tapered off of the 20 mg despite it being a "small dose." Small dose but a world of difference. Motivation for getting off: I just want to see if I really need drugs to live or can my coping tools be enough. Potential future pregnancy. Worries about staying on a drug indefinitely. Experience while on Prozac: it works. No side effects that were bothersome, no emotional numbing like when I was on escitalopram. Life is good. Questions to you all: Aside from the insomnia, I'm not convinced I'm experiencing withdrawal sxs. It really just seems like a return of the emotional sxs that brought me to meds in the first place. No brainzaps, physiological oddities, etc. Just the insomnia. What is your take? Considering I quit cold turkey and shouldn't have, what are best next steps? Things are starting to get to the point where I'm getting desperate to get back on medication just to feel like my happy old self (prozac self) again. I do all the right things: good bedtime routine, regular exercise, good nutrition, no drugs, rare glass of alcohol, regular meditation, and back to seeing my therapist regularly. Could I be doing more harm by getting back on prozac rather than just waiting it out longer? Any insight is appreciated. I want to live my life free of SSRI's but I have serious doubts it's possible. Thanks for being here.
  3. Dear SA I took my last dose of Sertraline/Zoloft on the 23rd of May 2022 having started taking it approximately the same month in 2019. Having only just recently joined SA I now know that going from 50mg a day to 0mg a day in 24 hours was a bad idea! The WD symptoms have been severe. I wont list them all here as I'm sure most of you will be familiar with them. However as of the beginning of July while the other WD symptoms have subsided I'm still having paresthesia (all over body hot and cold pins and needles), muscle pain, joint pain and a burning sensations in my arms, in particular my hands. I had a blood test from my GP which came back looking fine (GP said that some of my measures were 'excellent'). But I live in a constant state of fear that these are not WD but something more serious and terminal (anxious much?) I quite like myself not on AD's, I feel like my old self before all my problems started years ago but I have been making active plans to start taking an AD called Duloxetine (SSNI) only in very small 5mg doses (daily minimum is 30mg). I'm considering going back onto anti-depressants just to find some relief from the WD. The GP gave me a prescription for Duloxetine at my last appointment but I have yet to take it. I feel like what I need is a point in time in the future to aim at that I can say 'okay, I need to try a new approach to defeat WD because the others have plateaued' Questions: Will going back on AD at a very small dose of 5mg be enough to remove my current WD symptoms? As in somehow it will 'trick' my nervous system into thinking it has the drug back without becoming an addict again. Does that make sense? Does anyone else have the same experience of having lingering paresthesia long after other symptoms have subsided? Has the amount of time I have been WD even that long by comparison. Thank you in advance for any and all commentary
  4. Original topic title: Olanzapine cold turkey (out of presumptuous stupidity, I destroyed myself, and now I am trying to save at least a part of my being) On October 20, 2021, I started olanzapine 2.5mg. per day (which I was advised to split into two doses, to take half in the morning and the other half in the evening), recommended to me by a psychiatrist as a remedy for chronic insomnia, and on November 11, 2021 I abruptly stopped using this medicine, as I read in internet about its extreme neurotoxicity. On the evening of November 14, 2021, something terrible happened to me: something seemed to be turned off in my psyche forever, I lost my whole self, i.e. my emotions, interests, hopes, dreams, hobbies, motivation, flexible intellect, and ultimately the will to live. I tried to restart olanzapine on November 15, 2021, but at that time I did not know anything about effective strategies for reinstatement of the drug, and therefore, already on November 16, 2021, I stopped olanzapine again, but, exhausted by insomnia, had to take 25 mg. quetiapine, which have been in my medicine cabinet for many years without use. On November 17, I impulsively returned to olanzapine, but after a couple of days I stopped drinking it again in order to resume taking it at the end of November, but this comeback was also extremely short-lived and did not exceed the duration of the same couple of days. On November 29, 2021, I took olanzapine for the last time, but the neurotransmitter chaos, provoked by my stupid thrashings, seems to have done me irreparable damage. Over the next three and a half months, I tried to pull myself out of this anhedonic pit with various supplements (I tried fish oil, 5-HTP, St. John's wort, green tea extract, tyrosine, biotin, citicoline, Alpha GPC) multivitamin complexes (I mean B vitamins), peptides (for two weeks I was regularly injected intramuscularly with cortexin) and even psychopharmacological drugs prescribed to me by other psychiatrists, but with drugs of this class I again behaved as haphazardly as possible (about 8-10 times during these months I took phenazepam at a dosage of 0.5 mg., it at least minimally relieved anxiety; 5-7 times I drank hydroxyzine at a dosage of 0.25 mg at night, but it did not help me sleep at all; for three or four days I took a combination of venlafaxine, lamotrigine and trazodone, and once I took two capsules sulpiride, the content of the active substance in which was 100 mg., and one tablet of phenibut at a dosage of 250 mg.). Now I realize that my behavior during these months was absolutely suicidal, and probably only the prompt reinstatement of olanzapine could have saved me, but now almost three and a half months have passed since the last dose of this medication, so my chances of self-preservation seem for me absolutely ghostly. I hope that something else can be done in this situation: I have already completely lost hope for rehabilitation, I have practically not slept all these months due to permanent panic and bouts of neurocognitive hypochondria, I don’t understand how I still haven’t made suicide, because it is unnatural to live in such a state.
  5. Hi i am new here so let me introduce myself and give you the history of why i have become member. I originally got tinnitus about 18 months ago from noise. I was a sound engineer when younger so my past had caught me up. I went and had all tests and was told nothing could be done. I started to get headaches and siatic pain down left side which seem to come on at same time thetinntus did. The doctors prescrided me 20mg of amitriptyline to be taken at night to help prevent migraines and help with sleep. I took it for about 11months but for last couple months i started feeling anxious, paranoid and suicidal in waves. I attended to A&E department who said that only way to tell if the symptoms were side effects of drug was to come off them and that i would have see GP. I went see the GP who didn' t believe the drugs were causing issues and that i had aggitated depression and needed to take different anti-depressent and stop the amitriptyline. I wasnt feeling well and did what GP had said and stoped the amitriptyline with no taper and started citrolpam. I took citrolpam for 4 days but just felt out of it so i stopped it. I didn't sleep for 14 days and had massive waves of syptoms. Went back doctors and he said i was ill like he had said and looked anxious. Tryed get him understand it was withdrawl syptoms. Doctor told me i needed to go back on amitriptyline but 50mg this time. I questioned the dose increase but as i wasn't feeling mentally or physically well i got tablets. I reinstated back onto the amitriptyline but only took 25mg for first week. The withdrawl symtems were still there but slowing a little. Decided to take the 50mg as doctor said as i really didnt know what i was doing by then. Made feel even worse than i was feeling. Friends told me to go back to GP but get second opinon from different doctor. Changed doctor and explained i was in withdrawl and i wanted to come off amitriptyline due side effects. She listened but still really didn't want say it was in withdrawl altho see did agree if i felt i wasnt depressed i should drop back to the 25mg as only been on 50mg for few days. I have had to take 9 weeks off work and am taking 25mg amitriptyline hoping i will stabilise to some kinda human being. At first i was having the windows and waves were as last few weeks i feel like the windows are getting smaller and waves bigger. I saw the mental health team who again avoided the whole withdrawl thing and tryed blame me. I advised her i want get off the drugs and after reading many forums realise i need to do a very slow taper as i am super sensative. I come here as many do in hope of some feeling like i will be able to come off the amitriptyline at some point and regain the person that i feel i have lost.
  6. Hi everyone, I stopped my 200 mg Zoloft basically cold turkey that I had been on for 4+ years (one of my dumbest ideas yet) and I didn't start getting withdrawal symptoms for almost a month. After about 3 weeks of withdrawals, I've now been back on 100 mg (at the advice of my doctor) for two weeks because the symptoms were so bad, and I've been incredibly nauseous the whole time. Is this normal? I've been bedridden from the nausea (and dizziness, insomnia, etc, but the nausea is the most debilitating) If anyone else has experience with this, how long did the side effects from coming back on it last? I'm so terrified that this is going to be permanent.
  7. New here, currently on lexapro for a few years on and off. rexulti 0.5 mgs currently for 3 months. planning on tapering off these meds. I’ve quit lexapro, Zoloft, and celexa cold Turkey in the past. I know what to expect there. Planning to do a slow taper this time as I can’t afforded to be debilitated for two weeks. As for the rexulti I have no experience. I was curious what I should expect from that dosage and duration on. Could I just jump off or should I taper it? Which drug would be the best choice to start with? Any insight would be helpful. Cheers.
  8. Hello, I’ve been on this site for months and finally decided to post. I can’t even write because I’m in so much pain so my wife is typing for me. I tapered for 6 months off of lamictal, lexapro and Wellbutrin (which I was on for 16 years) and took my last dose in June. Since then I’ve had all the symptoms-loss of self, insomnia, nerve pain, headaches, brain fog/feeling dumb like my brain doesn’t work, emotional symptoms- anxiety, depression, etc., and the worst of all is akathesia. This feeling of discomfort in my body is hell. I want to crawl out of my skin. It feels like my body is on fire. Ive had twitching and convulsing and lots of suicidal ideation but the inner akathesia is the worst. I’m currently at atmc and they pushed Ativan on me. I eventually gave in because I was in so much pain and I regret it with every ounce of my being. Ive been on it for 3 weeks now and I’m so scared. I don’t know what to do. Should I slowly taper? They’re telling me to just stop because it hasn’t been that long, but what do I do with the akathesia pain? I’ve gone down to 1/2 dose the last two nights and it’s been ok but the akathesia has started to return. While I was tapering I was working with a therapist who did “journey work”. Basically I had a full day session on MDMA, another one with mdma and psyilicibin, and another one with mushrooms and ketamine late june. He also had me microdosing for a few months in the spring but I stopped that because it wasn’t doing much. ive read that reinstating lamictal helped alto. Since I was already on it I’ve considered it at a very low dose like she suggests, but I haven’t found a psychiatrist I trust and I’m pretty scared of everything now that I’m living in hell. I’ve already been hospitalized once and to atmc and another mental health facility. Barely holding it together. any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks Ps. My testerone is really low too and I’ve been doing injections twice a week. Im wondering if I should stop that or continue. Everything in my body is thrown off 2008- lexapro 40 and Wellbutrin 450 2011- cold turkey went off everything. Deep depression. Reinstated pretty quickly 2018 tapered lexapro down to 20, Wellbutrin down to 300 added lamictal at 400mg 2021- January I started to slowly taper over the next 6 months. 2021 april/may/June’s mdma, mushrooms/psilocybin (microdosing) and ketamine. I continued the ketamine into October. 2021 September started testosterone because I was tested and was very low 2021 september- went to the hospital and got Delodid for stomach pain (very suicidal the next day) 2021- October lithium for 1.5 weeks December 2021-now- Ativan I take many supplements- fish oil, magnesium, theanine, etc.
  9. I have been on Paroxetine for about 10 years. I got Colitis at the age of 38 and started suspecting that Paroxetine was doing more harm than good. I worked to taper down to 10mg. When it was time for a refill, 2/24/22, I thought I had another bottle but it was a higher dose so I couldn’t take it. I was unable to get ahold of my PCP (on vacation) and the office wouldn’t make any “changes” without her involvement. The typical sparkiness started right away but it progressed to Sunday 2/27 when I started vomiting. By the time my PCP and I connected, I had been off the med for just under a week. Symptoms continued to worsen, I had to go to the ER when I got the SSRI discontinuation syndrome diagnosis (3/2/22) I understood that symptoms would persist for a while. I got a SAD lamp to reintroduce serotonin to my system. I also had zofran to help with the nausea. Some days were okay and other days weren’t so good. Evenings were worse. I started vomiting again the evening of 3/18. Last night I lost continence and woke up in a puddle of my own poo. I decided to go again to the ER. They gave me 2 bags of fluids, took blood and did a CT. They sent me away with an “enlarged fatty liver” and a script for Zantac. I don’t feel better and I’m feeling so defeated. My friend shared this site with me. I’m hoping to hear what others have done so that I can get to the other side of this.
  10. Hello. I quit sertraline cold turkey on November 6 after three years of taking it. I was with a 50 mg dose. I am suffering abstinence symptoms since the end of December. Right now the dominant one is a terrible insomnia. I only manage to sleep some hours when I take zolpidem. I am becoming super sleep deprived and I am afraid of the future impact that this will have in my life. I tried supplements: one with various vitamins (Magnesio Ok +), Passiflora, 5 htp, fish oil and melatonin. I also took lexotan some days (doctor’s advice) and victan for panic attacks. The only thing that makes me sleep last days is Zolpidem, but not for much hours. Before my situation becomes worst, what do you think I should do?
  11. Hi, I’m so thankful to have found this site. In November I developed Serotonin Syndrome (that night will haunt me for the rest of my life) and had to be hospitalized. I was on lexapro 10 mg and had upped my dose to 15 mg per my doctor. Mixed with my other medications is what they said caused the Serotonin Syndrome. Long story short, the hospital doctors told me I had to stop the lexapro cold turkey. My serotonin syndrome was bad and it can be fatal. So I had no choice but to stop taking it cold turkey. I had been on antidepressants for 24 years. I was petrified of the withdrawal. But honestly it was not bad at all. (I’m wondering if it wasn’t bad because of how high my serotonin was while I stopped the lexapro … just my thought) The first few weeks I had leg pain, some digestive issues nothing big tho… insomnia (still have this but getting better), ocular migraines and emotions… wow I cry and feel now. Haven’t done that in many years. I’ve never, ever been a crier. But I really feel alive right now! Hospital Dr told me if I ever want to go back on antidepressants wait 1-2 months and then try one that doesn’t raise serotonin. I’d rather never go back on antidepressants! I’m staying positive that I can do life without them. Fast forward I’m on day 34 now without lexapro and the only symptoms I have left are the insomnia and these horrible ocular migraines. I’m getting them every 5-7 days now. Has anyone else experienced ocular migraines coming off of lexapro? I told my neurologist. He says it’s from my bad neck, not sleeping and stress. I’ve had ocular migraines before maybe 2 a year if that. I just had a cat scan while in the hospital and that was normal. But my gut is telling me the migraines have to do with my body/or brain adjusting to life without lexapro. Just wanted to see if anyone else has had this and when do the migraines ease up. Thank you in advance.
  12. Hi, I will try to keep it brief, but I am in desperate need of advice. I am a 34YO Male, my 1st bout of anxiety happened 10 years ago when I experienced a very stressful time in my life. I had my 1st child, started MBA school, and opened my own business all within a 3 month span. Had a panic attack one night, and what followed was a year of high general anxiety, with some intrusive OCDish thoughts sprinkled in. After a year I decided I would give meds a try. Tried Buspar...did nothing except make me dizzy. Tried Zoloft, and this was the magic bullet for me. Felt my anxiety lesson (after a brief increase) after about 3-4 weeks and after a few months I was back to myself. During this time I would have blips (one to two week periods when my anxiety would resurface, usually requiring a dose tweak and then would go back to normal. These would usually happen when I was eating bad, not exercising ect). At the start of my Zoloft experience I at one point got up to 150mgs, but in the last 4-5 years was on the minimum dose of 50mgs after I got generally healthier and added a multivitamin and fish oil supplement. Because of these blips, and the fact I was afraid to go back to the year of anxiety, I stayed on the Zoloft probably longer than I should have. It was 8 years later (October 2016) when I finally said, "heck I don't need these anymore". My prescription ran out and I just decided not to refill it. I went through most of the withdrawl symptoms, some brain-zaps, lots of light-headedness and dizziness, ect. That went away after about 3 weeks and for 3 months I felt great, totally off meds and totally back to normal. At the end of January this year, I started to have another "blip." I wasn't eating healthy and not exercising as much and decided I would be "proactive" and resume the Zoloft at my previous dose of 50mgs to nip it in the bud. This sent my anxiety through the roof but thought my body would adjust so I continued taking them. I was so scared of the increased anxiety though I didn't give it a fair shot and kept increasing and decreasing the dosage from 25 to 50mgs every week or so. Finally got into a p-doc and he gave me Lexapro, 5mgs for the 1st week and 10mgs after that...long story short, it did the same thing as the Zoloft and wasn't much better after 7 weeks. At this point I figured, "wow I wasn't this bad before, I will just go off of these!" Well unfortunately my month of no meds did not return me to my January self, in fact it was probably worse than on the meds! So then the doctor gave me pregabalin, which helped a little, but is crazy expensive and not covered by insurance. So on June 1st I started Paxil, 10 mgs for the 1st week and 20mgs after that, hoping the pregabalin can help me to get on them. I really want to be off meds, but don't think I am mentally able to at this point. It seems quitting the Zoloft cold turkey, then reinstating, I am much more sensitive to these drugs, does that make any sense? So I am hopeful I can eventually give a med (Paxil) enough time that my body will desensitize to it, and I can be on it for a bit to get stable again, then get off. Anybody experienced anything like this? Will my body desensitize? I am so desperate to feel normal again, I am a father of 3 (10YO Boy, 7YO Boy, 3YO Girl), a husband to an amazing wife, and they need their Dad and Husband back! What should I do? Give Paxil the time to desensitize, then get off after a few months? Is the fish-oil supplement that I still take that helped me reduce my dose of Zoloft causing me to be more sensitive? Quit everything and see what happens? Thanks in advance for reading my story and giving any advice or encouragement.
  13. Hello, I am a young adult under 24. I've been depressed since 2015 (it also runs in my family). I also suffer from anxiety but this started later. I have gone through periods where I have been managing it well and periods where it has completely crippled and controlled me. Since the start of the whole covid mess I have moved back home and been in a difficult patch. My family and doctor had been pushing me to try an antidepressant for a long time despite my aversion to them. I caved at the start of this summer (2021) and let my doctor prescribe one. I picked bupropion (wellbutrin) because it seemed to have the least amount of serious side effects and members of my family have tolerated it in the past or continue to use it (actually found this site while trying to decide). I still did not like the idea and got prescribed the lowest dose available (150 mg wellbutrin xl). I picked the prescription up a month later and left on a shelf for another because I decided I still didn't want it and I had been improving myself by exercising again (I had stopped with the move when I was in a bad patch) and getting out and doing things. On August 21 (2021) I took the first pill in the middle of a breakdown and I was considering trying other drugs, in hopes it would maybe fix something (I also thought having taken a prescription may support my case for taking less courses at university like my doctor had said, it definately weighed in). That day I felt incredibly motion sick from walking (walking is my coping mechanism, how I sort things out in my head and feel most at peace) I couldn't even get more than a kilometre without feeling awful. I didn't feel great emotionally either. I wanted to stop then but my family said I can't just stop and the side effects would fade. My brain felt even more dull than before and I felt worse about myself. After three days the nausia started to fade but my nerve endings seemed to be less sensitive (everywhere) and I was experiencing headaches, my eyesight also seemed to go weird. On the 27th of August 2021 (7th day) I had a much worse break down and decided I wasn't going to take them anymore. I decided that at best they were having a nocebo effect because I hated myself and resented every time I took a pill and at worse they were actually messing with my brain and body in a bad way like suspected. During the week I had delt with a family emergancy and everything was completely opposite to the "possitive new habits/therapy" that are supposed to accompany the start of taking them. I tried to throw the last tablet up while I was upset (no it didn't work and no I am not bulimic, I was just upset). I just haven't been taking them since then. I have had a worsened head ache, reduced nuasia, still feel worse cognitively than what I would consider my normal and things appear to be worse sensitivity wise. Now my questions are: 1) has anyone else experienced the same side effects while taking wellbutrin? (Nausia, cognitive decline, vision changes, headaches, short term memory issues, reduced sensitivity (I thought that bupropion didn't cause sexual issues!)) 2) I have since read that anti antidepressents permanently change the structure of/damage the brain even with only one tablet! Most of this research seems to be with SSRI's and I could only find this case study for wellbutrin .https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4662168/. (It sounds positive in this case but not in other articles) I don't feel like my self and I am honestly terrified that I'll never get my old brain back (And body/eyes). Can I fix it or did I make an idiotic mistake one week that will ruin the rest of my life? This is my main concern and why I am writing today. 3) I know I'm asking this early on but do the majority of people find that they go back to the way they were before after taking these medications, especially if they have only taken them for a short time? 4) is clitoral atrophy a thing with antidepressants?! I hadn't even heard of it until I started googling my symptoms this morning. (I know that is an awful idea.) Between those articles and all the antidepressents ruined my life comments on every article I click on I think I seriously screwed up. 3) Is physical exhaustion/ mental stress mostly responsible for all these issues? (I have had a lifelong issue with insomnia that gets worse with depression) the last week and a half has been hell first with the drugs and then with everything else. Is it psychosomatic? A little extra info. I will be moving to another city to start university in less than a week. I will be going alone as one parent is hospitalized in the icu and the other has to keep visiting them and the rest of the family functioning. I've been out of school for a while and it took a lot to force myself to apply and get everything ready. I feel completely underprepared and the most stupid and incapable I have ever felt. I am scared I will not keep up, fail, drop out before I start and just wind up wasting all my money and preparation. (I may manage to get councling through the school and will finally get extended medical at least) My parent who was my main person to talk to (not hospitalized) understandably doesn't want to deal with my situation now. I my apologies if I've been over dramatic in my post and especially if my last little rant is not what this forum is for, but I think it gives an accurate representation of where I'm at. I just want the old me back and think I may have ruined my brain right when I was improving and before something I was terrified to start in the first place.
  14. Hey my name is Hammad I'm from Pakistan and im new to this community, I've read the rules and i find this community quite help ful , because all of this information is not given by our health professionals for some reason so most of us come to the internet to investigate. This discussion website is a very good way to share , get advice and get to know alot of stuff that we wouldn't know otherwise from somewhere else .
  15. Hi guys I just wanted to start by saying thank you so much for putting this site together. I can't begin to tell you how much it has helped and educated me in a short time. Im roughly 23 weeks cold turkey from 37.5mg effexor, I was on that for maybe 5 years before that 75mg for roughly 12 years. I don't have any medical history records available and can't remember the exact times because my memory is so screwed. I honestly could be years off when estimating the dosage changes. I stopped cold turkey because I initially forgot to take it and didn't feel as though it was of any therapeutic benefit to me anymore anyway. Doctors had previously told me I was on a "baby" dose. A relationship had ended a few months before and I wanted to start a new life. I was going to take back control not put anymore of this crap (efexor) in my body, reclaim it from the drug company and start doing all the things I really wanted to do with my life. I realised there would be discontinuation symptoms because of previous reductions and times I had forgotten to take it in the past. I thought maybe a month or 2 at most and I would be back to normal. I could do this, besides I was on the lowest dose available, positive about the future, I had quit other (recreational) drugs throughout my life, I'd worked my way through depression and anxiety years ago and I could get through this. I can be very stubborn when it comes to some things and I'd decided in my head no matter how bad it got I wouldn't be taking another efexor for the rest of my life. I hated the doctors for prescribing it and telling me to stay on it or trying to get me to raise it even. The drug companies for making it. And both for making me feel like I needed to take it so it was a kinda "up yours" to them all. 5 months later I'm still suffering major symptoms and my life is still on hold. Although some have faded others seem to get worse particularly the insomnia and anxiety even suicidal thoughts I think this may be also due to the fact I've realised that its not going anyway and I may be like this for years or maybe forever? Makes it bloody hard to relax. I get it now that it was pretty reckless to stop so suddenly like that after such a long time. So I hate to say it but after not being able to go to work the last couple of weeks Im coming to the realisation that I may need to go back on to a very low dose and slowly taper of that. Is this a good idea? Do you think it would ease discon symptoms for me to just start taking maybe half again and taper at 10%? If so how long before tapering? Will getting back on efexor have any side effects in itself? And also theoretically will discon symptoms last longer because I stopped so suddenly? whether I start taking it again or not. I read a lot in the tapering of efexor thread but I'm finding it very hard to concentrate at the moment and find the answers amongst all the good info there. Thank you to anyone who has taken the time read all this and reply. Your awesome.
  16. *moved from symptoms forum I'm 5 years now completel y med free, still have withdrawal, but symptoms come and go quickly, but the minute it gets cold weather, I start having brutal static electricity, Even my bottom of my leg touches car and gets shocked, i have of course had static electricity before withdrawal before. It seems worse since I went into withdrawal, has anyone else experienced this in withdrawal, a worsening of static electricity, and has anyone still had this worsening at 5 years?
  17. Hoping I'm not alone (although I wouldn't wish this on anyone else). I was taken off citalopram and mirtazapine a few years ago. I can't remember the dosage but I had been on them for at least a year and it was the second time I had come off them, the first was a tapered withdrawal as I felt well this second time was cold turkey. I was in hospital after collapsing and I was taken off them literally overnight - one day my dosage was as usual, the next day nil. I had really bad withdrawal symptoms for months especially brain zaps and spine zaps, feeling of delay between moving body and senses catching up, inability to regulate body temperature, constant crying, nausea, abdominal pain, body pain, insomnia. I was also eating poorly and severely dehydrated for a considerable period of time before and after. I'm now questioning whether the continued unexplained neuropathy that I developed at some point is related to any of this. I can't remember when the neuropathy started but it felt debilitating several months after coming out of hospital. So much of it is such a blur that I can't recall with any certainty when I noticed symptoms. I know I had symptoms of restless legs, especially knees that I felt I constantly had to twist and fold and refold endlessly to try to find a position that I could remain comfortable with, while on medication and a feeling of utter inward stomach churning heart wrenching terror and inability to focus and concentrate for many many months but that this was treated as a psychological symptom rather than anything of medical concern. Whilst the inability to concentrate and anxiety lessened over the years (although still acute at times), the neuropathy has worsened with recurring episodes of days of spinning head and feelings of delay between movement and senses, daily nerve pain and burning tingling in legs, feeling of rushing water down spine, zaps at back of neck on moving head, recurrent migraines, tinnitus, one leg feels hotter than other but not to touch, feeling that ideally want legs trapped under an iceberg(!) in bed and have to wedge them under piles of cushion to get pressure, head spinning (feels like spinning clockwise at slight angle) and brain that goes to sludge when have to concentrate or interact with people for any length of time. The symptoms are variable and each day brings a different combination. But it's not going. I was referred to a neurologist a year or so ago but, having had a bad experience of hospitals and doctors, cancelled the appointments for further testing as nothing abnormal apparent on basic physical exam and have not sought medical advice since as I'm a) afraid afraid c) afraid and d) afraid. Oh and e) alone and f) afraid of opening the whole mental health issue again with another dr. I also have long term digestive problems and a fairly constant background suicidal feeling that I have to tolerate as it comes and goes in waves and has done for about seven years now. I'm pretty good at hiding most of this but it does make it hard to function. Amitriptaline makes the nerve pain more tolerable although toward late afternoon and evening it gets worse and night time it sometimes keeps me awake. Has anyone else here been made to stop meds overnight and if so what happened to you after? I don't know what is "me" anymore and what is left over from before.
  18. Hi. I've been struggling with paxil withdrawal for 7 months and I'm in need of some serious advice. I have been on paxil since March 2015 and I worked my way up to 40 mg. I was not on any other medication except paxil. In January 2019, I started my journey to taper off of it. This is what my taper looks like: January 31, 2019 - Decreased from 40 mg to 30 mg June 6, 2019 - Decreased from 30 mg to 20 mg September 6, 2019 - Decreased from 20 mg to 10 mg November 12, 2019 - Cold turkeyed 10 mg My psychiatrist was telling me to taper at 10 mg at a time which I now know is way too steep of a drop. I didn't know at the time because, surprisingly, I did not experience any withdrawals jumping from 40 to 30, 30 to 20, or 20 to 10. I might have experienced some very slight changes when I dropped from 20 to 10 but they were so subtle that I didn't attribute it to the drop in my dosage at the time. The cold turkey off of 10 mg was when everything fell apart. It was a gradual worsening of symptoms. At 3 weeks off was when I noticed that the withdrawal has become severe. I did not reinstate because I thought it would go away and I did not know another way to get off of it until I found this website and the 10% taper in February 2020. After 3 months off paxil, I felt like I couldn't hold on any longer. On February 12, 2020, I saw a psychiatrist and reinstated back to 10 mg paxil. I was on it for 17 days and I saw no improvement with my withdrawal symptoms. I read so much online about how reinstatement this far out might not work. I panicked and made the decision to stop reinstatement on February 29, 2020. In hindsight, I probably should have stuck with it because I might have been better by now. Now it's June 15, 2020 and I'm really struggling to hold on. In summary, my taper journey was 3 months off from cold turkey of 10 mg paxil, 2.5 weeks reinstatement of 10 mg paxil before quitting again, and now I'm 3.5 months off paxil after quitting reinstatement. I know this withdrawal might potentially last a very long time and reinstating again has recently crossed my mind because I've been going psychotic for many days. I know if I reinstate, it would be a big commitment. One, it might not work but I'd still have to commit to being on it since I can worsen my withdrawal by jumping off of it again. Two, I'd have to hold for 6 months to a year and then do a slow taper that may last 2 years or more. There are just times when it's so tough, it feels like I can't handle it anymore, and I'm desperate for relief that I don't know if I should hang on or try reinstatement again. I just need to be able to function normally and right now I'm not even close to being that way. Both times when starting paxil, I didn't get any real adverse startup effects. I got the yawning all of the time but other than that, it seemed fine. From these two past experiences, if I start it again, I don't really think I'd get an adverse reaction to it. The only problem is the idea of it not alleviating the withdrawal. If there is anyone who can give me advice on what I should do, it would be much appreciated because I can't even decide myself.
  19. Hello. I'm "Trinity" from PaxilProgress, which shut down last year without my knowledge. I'll try not to go into a long-winded summary of my life, but.... Depression began to manifest itself during puberty; episodes became more dramatic the older I got. I began Paxil in 1998, during a depressive episode that had taken total control over my life. I started on 10mg and went to 20mg perhaps a week later. I changed into a new person almost immediately. I could be jovial and outgoing, but lost all sense of priority. I lost most sexual function within two weeks of starting the drug. I was reckless and exhibited very poor decision-making. I couldn't think clearly or quickly. I slept poorly. While I had enough energy for work, I could spend entire days and weekends sleeping. It was as if I were drunk most of the time. I had them before, and I continued to have ugly temper tantrums regularly, just like a two-year-old. Around 2006, I fed up with being tired and stupid, so I dropped from 20mg to 10mg. I suffered the “electrical shocks,” dizziness, and other typical withdrawals, but I got through them and achieved a greater presence of mind—though I was absolutely not myself. I still had temper tantrums at least monthly. The side-effects I described, above, improved, but did not disappear. Not at all. I planned the next withdrawal for summer vacation, when I would have less stress. In June of 2014, I went from 10mg to 5mg. The withdrawals wore the same face, but weren’t as strong as before. This was an awful time for me, as I had an abusive, hostile boss who clearly took delight in tormenting employees she didn't "like." I became exceedingly emotional. Once I got upset, I stayed upset for a long time, unable to bounce back from anything. I would obsess over setbacks, conversations, and my professional standing in the community. This obsessiveness caused me a lot of heartache. On the positive side, the temper tantrums largely stopped, and I didn’t feel tired all the time. I didn’t need to sleep or nap like before. I planned the next withdrawal for summer vacation, when I would have less stress. In June of 2015, I stopped taking Paroxetine altogether. I suffered very little in the way of physical side-effects, just a little something for a few days. My mind is gradually clearing, as if someone had taken a wet, heavy blanket off my brain. My perception and reasoning has improved by leaps and bounds. I experience a wider range of emotions. I cried while listening to a love song that reminded me of my wife, when I had not been able to cry in years. Though she continues trying, my boss isn’t able to upset me as easily as before. I don’t care about her the way I used to. I’m more able to recognize what she is doing and dismiss it. Things that would wound me so deeply before aren’t much more than noise, now. I am able to see my past from a new perspective, with renewed clarity. I apologized to people I had offended over the years with my clumsy, highly emotional and unreasonable behavior. I am far from happy-go-lucky, and I doubt I’ll never be just that. There is a darkness that calls to me. I think my mother had this, as well, and would busy herself like a madwoman, because that sort of behavior works very well to preoccupy the mind. I really need some productive obsessions right now! A lot of emotional improvement I’m enjoying could just be the effects of age—I’m not a kid, anymore. However, and without a doubt, the drug was confining my emotions to a certain range and limiting my ability to overcome adversity. I feel it heightened negative emotions and fears and robbed me of the emotional recovery normal people enjoy. My mind is free, which is at once liberating and terrifying. “What if?” That creeps into my brain more often than I would wish. I want a new job. Not so easy a thing to do, here in a cesspool of economic despair, but I want to make the world a better place, and I don’t think I can do that where I am, doing what I do now. A bucket of crabs comes to mind, and that’s not the sort of energy I want in my life right now. So, there we have it: A rambling summary of my nearly two decade dependency upon psychotropic medication. While it saw me through a particularly hurtful period in my life, the loss of cognitive, emotional, and sexual function for the following 17 years was NOT worth the price of admission. I clearly should have been doing something different, because people aren’t meant to live life in a stupor.
  20. Hi, you can call me AprilShowers. I was put on Venlafaxine (Effexor) in the millenium due to a period of depression. Was on it two years and tapered off with no problem and gradually depression got managable and life went on. Then my mother died of cancer and my depression came back more suicidal and severe. I tried citalopram with horrible side effects and continuous suicidal feelings before being changed to venlafaxine which had worked for me before. And it worked again, more or less. I got stabilised and although it took a long time the suicidal thoughts receded and I just had bad depression. Last year after five years on venlafaxine I was having bad heart palpitations and my psychiatrist thought it might be beneficial to change medications as I thought it might be being caused by being on an SNRI. I switched to mirtazapine which I was on a couple of weeks and felt good at first before it made me very suicidal. Panicing and needing to not feel that way anymore I stopped taking it cold turkey. After I began to have withdrawal issues I tried to get onto prozac (fluoxetine) in the hope that it would help, it didn't, it exacerbated the symptoms. I was in full withdrawal syndrome, massive dumps of cortisol turned my body to acid, I was urinating blood, I couldn't eat or sleep and the shakes were exhausting. It was completely debilitating and I did little but lay on the sofa for five months trying to distract myself with TV shows. Life got a little better in increments and with the help of this site which I read without joining I was able to understand what was happening to me and try to support my body. I thought maybe I'd been lucky to have gotten through this and was hoping to build my life back to some semblance of normal. I managed to get back to the point I'd been on while I was on the antidepressants. Still depressed, still not coping well with life but able to function a bit. I had hoped to build on that. A couple of weeks ago I started getting mad anxiety, possibly triggered by the shock of the news of terrorist attacks in Paris although I guess if I'm honest I was feeling a bit overwhelmed before that. Whatever happened, I was having a hard time and took a couple of small doses of lorazepam two nights running to get some sleep and mellow the panicy feelings. Of course they got worse after that and now I have the full cortisol dumping into my system again and I'm back on the sofa wishing for a different life and a better body. I've been in touch with my care co-ordinator who isn't seeing me until next week and she says that without me being willing to take medication there's not much she can do. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow to try to rule out any underlying medical reasons (I had an infection before all this happened and have recently become diabetic, have PCOS and have had previous anemias, heart palpitations and thyroid blips) but I'm not holding out much hope and unsure how to try an explain to the doc what is happening with cortisol dumping into my body. I know all they can offer for the symptoms is lorazepam or similar drugs and I think that would just make my problem worse. The early morning shuddering and feeling of waking in abject terror is the pits, the shudders are exhausting, like parkinsons and then taper off during the day but still with a low level of tremor and feeling of panic. I've got no saliva, I go hot and cold, my stomach is acid, I'm wetting myself with the level of fear hormones in my system and am having to wear pads and I'm constantly going to the bathroom, I'm not doing very well at all. The fact that this is happening for the second time is extremely disappointing, I've had thoughts of not wanting to live like this. I feel very alone, I live alone and I'm scared of losing all I've gained. I'm here to find hope. I need to give this awful life I'm forced into some value and give myself some value. After five years living on benefits, trying to overcome depression and not really coping with life I feel like I have nowhere to turn but here to find people who believe and understand what I'm going through. I am desperate to believe this is just a blip and won't last as long as before but it's been getting worse every day like the reverse of when it happened the first time when it was very bad and I gradually felt relief. I'm finding it hard to trust I will recover. I have nothing to do but hope I can again. Supplements I take omega 3 in a high dose which has helped me manage my depression. vitamin C magnesium with calcium. Occasional other supplements. Am thinking of just stopping all but the omega 3.
  21. I am new to surviving antidepressants. Because my Internist did not authorize refill for Effexor xr 150mg for 7 days, I was forced into snir discontinuation syndrome. I did not know there was such a thing until then. I have since researched on line and have found out quite a bit. Did you know that brain zaps/brain shivers is discribed in Wikipedia? Anyway,. I got them plus a lot of other debilitating symptoms. I have since weaned myself off over a months period of time (probably too fast), and have now been without for 2 days. I am so irritable that I can hardly stand to be with myself. Plus I get cold very easily and feel like shivering, but don't. I also have a few brain zaps, but they aretolerable. I am determined to not take one more bead of Effexor xr, and would appreciate the support of anyone who is going through or has gone though Effexor xr withdrawal.
  22. Been quietly observing and reading other peoples posts and finally decided to post my story. My path with AD started with a full blown panic attack. I had never in my life experienced a panic attack so it was very difficult at the beginning. Everybody's different. My panic attacks were debilitating lasting for several hours. Went to see my doctor and was quickly put on benzos. Started with xanax 0.5 mg and was quickly raised to 2.0 mg. Later it was switched out to klonopin 2.0 mg. It did control my panic attacks and my anxiety attacks. Later on I was told to add an AD to further control my panic attacks. This was the fun part where I became my own guinea pig where I had to "FIND THE RIGHT MED" for myself. Initially started with lexapro and was told that it could take up to 4 months for the drug to kick in. 4 months past by and it did nothing. lexapro had no effect on me. Tried viibryd, celexa, paxil, and prozac. Settled with paxil and klonopin for a long time. Towards the end made the jump to cymbalta and klonopin. If it wasn't for people around me telling me how I've changed, over the time frame that I was on these drugs, I would have probably continued taking these drugs. I've lost all emotions nothing in the world gave me any enjoyment. Started drinking heavily to the point where I was drinking every day. Spent money like money grew on trees. I had no apathy at all towards others. I became completely indifferent towards the entire world. I have so much respect towards people here that are maintaining their strict taper schedule. I tried to slowly taper from my drugs but I could never keep it myself. At the first sign of withdrawal I kept running back to my drugs. I decided to throw all my meds out and go the cold turkey route. I fell into a dark abyss. I didn't bother going to no doctor because I knew it was my fight and my fight alone. Woke up with severe panic and dread. It was as if all my nerves were fired up. Every person was associated with a flash back from the past with a very negative flash back from my past. For example, my dad was asking me how I felt and I had a really bizarre flash back from the past where my dad was not so kind to me when I was a kid. It was a memory from the past that I had forgotten for a very long time. This flash back resulted in me with a rage like emotion towards him. Pretty much everyone I met, that had an unkind past with me, brought up these negative flash backs. Entire body feels numb. Light/noise sensitivity. Blurry vision as if I'm surrounded by fog. All my muscles were sore, aching and shaking. Tingling burning sensation on the skin. Itchy anus. Joint pain like I've never experienced before. Difficulty breathing. Flu like symptoms. Severe headaches. Head felt really heavy as if there was a rock embedded in my brain. Messed up sinus. Weak legs. Weak neck. Difficulty speaking. Difficulty balancing myself. Coordination skills severely impaired. Severe tinnitus. Body feels heavy as if gravity increased. Severe dp/dr. One day I spilled my entire plate while eating and I could see my plate fall down in slow motion in 3-D. One day I was cooking and accidentally burnt my hand and I could feel the pain from my hand travel all the way to my brain. I'm pretty sure there were a lot more symptoms that I really can't remember them all. It's been six months now that I've gone cold turkey. I'm still a long ways from recovery but looking back sure as hell feels like I've made some progress. Going cold turkey put my body in full reboot mode and slowly one by one I get to feel parts of my body come alive one by one.
  23. Hi Everyone. I'm new to the site. I have suffered from depression for 16 years and have not been on a forum like this before but am feeling very desperate for advice at the moment and as my doctors are useless i thought maybe someone on here who understands could help me. I have a Psychiatrist appointment but not for a month yet! Anyway i have been on anti depressants for 16 years. I was on Citalopram(60mg) for 10 years and then Nortriptyline (150)mg for 6 years. Now 3 months ago i did something i know was very stupid and not recommended and came off the Nortriptyline cold turkey. I did this because at this point i was just desperate to get them out my system. I believe they have caused all my mental problems which include memory and concentration problems, jerking, seizures, electric shock feelings, brain pressure and constant sleeping. It was starting to scare me and that is why i did it. Anyway at first i experienced what i expected horrific physical withdrawal symptoms where to be honest i did just want to die but i was determined and after 3 weeks these faded. I then experienced a weird depression i had not had before where i couldn't even move for a while and then that passed. I am now at a stage where my depression is basically back to how it used to be but at its worst. My depression has always been up and down and the drugs never worked but i just cant seem to get out of this major low and its been longer than normal. I am really worried this is going to ruin my relationship as i don't want to see my boyfriend and just spend the whole time crying and sleeping and i feel like there is no way out anymore. Part of me just wanst to start taking some drugs again to see if it improves but part of me is scared to go back on them again as i know how hard they were to get off. I know the Psychiatrist will be able to advise me on this but i don't think i can carry on like this for that long. Do you think i should just try and stick it out and it will improve as this is just withdrawal or start taking a small dose of drugs again. Thanks so much for reading this
  24. hello, so about 5 years ago i was taking bath salts(stupid, i know), a lot of bath salts, and i developed a symptom like bulging eyes which destroyed my life this symptom lasted for one month but already i developed an obsession with how my eyes looked to other people which is still present in my life so i got depressed and isolated still obsessing over my eyes so what to do next? with my mother persisting in going to get help i ended in a psychiatric hospital, after 5 minutes of describing the symptoms and telling the cause (bath salts) to the psy I've got my identity and the sentence, I've got BDD, body dysmorphic disorder and the sentence was 2 zoloft in the morning 1 solian(antipsychotic) in the evening we all know whats coming next, after months on this treatment I've got worse, another diagnose, bi-polar - 2 zoloft + 3 norset + 1 abylyfy + 1 solian and an extra 4 serestra and that went for 5 years which comes with psychotic episodes, attempted suicides, forced psy hospitals stays, violent behavior, unable to form thoughts and without emotions, drug use, drinking and in the process i lost my soul and after only two years I've started hearing voices, pretty scary, but i was afraid talking with my psy because of another diagnose which all know that they say is for life, schizophrenia. And after all the suffering caused by this treatment they wanted to give me more powerful dosages I'm not going in to the details, i don't want to remember, it's hard not trusting your doctor, thinking is the devil, which he is imo. It's pretty hard for me to get off this drugs because I'm being forced in to the treatment and watched every day, there are nurses which came every day to give me the meds because of my attempted suicides, so they give me a glass of water and watch me if i swallow the meds , pretty scary, i know. The doctor it's convinced that i need the treatment all my life because of my behavior. So how i came off without anyone knowing? One night (of many) without sleep i went on YouTube watching movies reviews and by divine luck I've come across a video about big pharma an psychiatric drugs which changed everything and going deep into the subject i discovered the truth, which at the time seemed fantastic and scary. I mean you think all the time that your doctor wants to help you and has years of studying this thing in school and there is the ''science'' to back all this, come on! it's a doctor, a psychiatrist, he must know things, no? and suddenly you see the other face of the coin and here comes the rage. It's hard for me to tamper because i don't have the drugs, they give me the drugs, so my only option it's going cold turkey, made them think that i swallowed the drugs, hiding them in my hand. So now I'm two weeks in cold turkey, trying to stay ''normal'' for family and doctors not to give away that you are in withdrawal, it's pretty hard. I'm going trough hell here and it's been only two weeks. I've been searching for information all this time, when I'm not in severe depression. I've found 5-htp which I'm on for 3 days now and it's good, placebo? i will take everything which will help me I've found meditation which make sense for me, but to try to concentrate on your breath for 5 minutes right now seems pretty hard, reading books on the subject helps me, I'm gonna do everything that i can to stay off the meds even if i need to die in the process.
  25. I'm shaking as I write this. Long story short, went on antidepressants about 9 years ago for disthymia, GAD, and Panic Disorder. Started on Lexapro. It worked fairly well and had no startup side effects. PDoc added Welbutrin. It worked well too. Switched from Lexapro to another SSRI briefly without problems. Switched to Zoloft and stayed on it for about 8 years. Smooth sailing aside from the sexual side effects, which caused me (stupidly) to quit cold turkey in November of 2016. From then to January 2017 I felt fine except for brain zaps. Those eventually went away and haven't returned. February 2017 I started getting weird chest tightness and heaviness, accompanied by a stinging in the mouth and tongue. Had EKG, echo, chest xray, all fine. Saw a new PDoc on March 3rd who said chest symptoms were anxiety and put me on Trintellix and Klonopin. Was hesitant to start these drugs so I waited awhile. Took a friend's 0.25 Xanax on occasion during March to combat relatively mild anxiety from chest symptoms. Anxiety was getting worse so I decided to try the Klons. Was prescribed 0.5 to 1 every night before bed. Started doing that about March 16 with varied results. One day it seemed to work like a charm while the next day not at all, or even seemed to make anxiety worse. March 24 decided to try the Trintellix. March 25, 26 went by without side effects then BAM on March 27 I began what I can only describe as an unending and unrelenting panic attack that has only ceased briefly a few times since. I kept taking it anyway until March 29 when I called PDoc who told me to stop taking it and take something else. I told him F that, I want to go back to Zoloft and Welbutrin, at least I know that works. Been taking the Zoloft and Welbutrin since then. Saturday April 1st, 10:00pm I took 0.5 Clonazepam and fell asleep for 4 hours. Sunday April 2 2:00am awoke in a state of severe anxiety, about a 9.5/10, worse than I had ever felt. 5:00am went to the ER. 9:00am given Ativan at ER. Did not help. Voluntarily admitted to psych ER. In holding area until 11:00pm then transported by ambulance to a psych ward an hour away. Psych ward was a nightmare and drove my anxiety even higher which I didn't think was even possible. Monday April 3 evening, anxiety at 9.5. Blood pressure 177 systolic. Nurse gives 0.5 Xanax. Blood pressure drops to normal. Anxiety drops to 7.5. An hour later, anxiety up to 10!!! Nerves feel like they're on fire, heart pounding fast, muscles very weak, brain feels like it's being electrocuted. Given Hydroxyzine. An hour later, still 10. Given 2mg Xanax and wheelchaired back to room, or rather empty jail cell. Passed out. Tuesday April 4 awoke feeling drugged and anxiety at 5. Discharged at 1pm. Anxiety drops to 3. Arrive home, anxiety drops to 2. I was hopeful that the nightmare was over. Nope. Yesterday Wednesday April 5 morning, anxiety at 3. By noon anxiety climbed to 7. Is fluctuating between 5 and 7. Called PDoc in a panic. PDoc says keep taking Zoloft and Welbutrin and also prescribes Neurontin and Valium to be taken 3x per day, 2x dosage at bedtime. Picked up scripts that evening and took the bedtime dose. About a half hour later started feeling weird but good. Didn't last long though. Had a rough night. Today April 6 morning I felt very weird, but not in a good way. Tremors in my facial muscles, derealization, slow thinking. Looked up Neurontin on the Internet and learned how bad it is. Decided not to take morning dose and called PDoc and left message. I did take the morning Valium though, and that helped for a few hours. Took the afternoon Valium and it seemed to increase my anxiety and make me dizzy. PDoc hasn't called back. This is HELL. There's no end to my anxiety attack. I cannot function. I'm going to lose my job, my health insurance. Please tell me there's an end to this suffering. Please give me some hope. Some advice. What is happening to me? Is my life over?
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