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  1. I’m new to the site and looking for some guidance and insight into my taper. I started taking fluoxetine in July of 2018 for depression and anxiety. I started at 10mg a day and over a 6 month period worked up to 40mg. Over the course of the pandemic i continued to up my dosage until I got to 80mg a day in January of 2021. I also take propranolol as a migraine preventative 10mg twice a day and as needed for anxiety/panic attacks which is usually once a week. And I take dextroamphetamine XR as needed for focus, but I avoid it if I feel my anxiety is kicking back in. Sometimes I’ll take it for 4 days in a row and sometimes I won’t take it for a month. I also cut caffeine out of my diet. I’ve been in therapy since February and have developed a bunch of good coping mechanisms and lifestyle changes that made me feel like I could try going off of the SSRI’s. I’ve been going down 10mg each week since mid July, but after reading a few posts I’m wondering if that’s too fast. I’m currently down to 30mg a day. Some days are totally fine and I feel really good about the taper and some days I wake up in a totally nebulous depression. I’m currently in a sort of an emotional haze. I can’t really say I’m depressed about anything in particular which is typical of my depression. I just stop caring. Unfortunately one of my coping mechanisms for depression in the past has been to self medicate with alcohol and I feel myself slipping back into that. I’ve been so up and down though the last few weeks I don’t know if maybe this current feeling of apathy will fade away tomorrow. Right now I feel like I could just stare at a wall all day or sleep for a week. Thanks for reading.
  2. Hi everyone, this is my first post. Just want to say thank you so much to Altostrata for creating this website and spending so much time over the years to develop this as a resource. I am a 26 year old with ADHD and I take dexamphetamine 2.5mg up to three times daily so that I can manage my focus and concentration on tasks throughout the day. I am also prescribed Cymbalta 30mg. I take this every evening for anxiety. Over the years since I started it in 2015 it has helped me along in life rather well. I am in a stable job in the IT sector and have had a reasonable social life also. However the time has come to rid myself of the sexual side effects. You will see in my signature (hopefully) the timeline of my tapering. Honestly, I wish I could do it faster but I am not sure that I can. For now I have not tapered since the 26-05-21 as I have decided to stay stable for July and August. Somthing that I have noticed is that, whilst tapering, maybe about 3 weeks into a taper I feel relatively stable etc and I might have some drinks at the weekend. But I have noticed, even 3 weeks after a taper (approx) I can be such a lightweight when it comes to alcohol. Has anyone else experienced this? Why would tapering cause such an effect like this? Also, does anyone have any tips on dealing with the withdrawals that come within the first week of a taper? Such as the agitation, tiredness, apathy, grogginess. Does magnesium help, if so which type?
  3. leavingorganon

    leavingorganon

    Hello all. I've been on various meds since 2005 when I was 21. I was put on Remeron because of what I now see as situational anxiety due to then-undiagnosed ADHD. I think it's time for me to leave this state and move ahead. The trigger for this desire is a recent cognitive assessment I did where I found out that things that were once easy for me intellectually are now harder, which is especially concerning for someone who's always been over-achieving and has "being smart" as an integral part of their identity. My short term memory is really bad with all of those medications, and what drove me towards doing the assessment is struggles at work that have been going on for the last three years. Though the assessment was the acute trigger, there are larger themes at play that made me really struggle the last few years. My sense of self is vague and undefined. I used to be much sharper and brighter, passionate, and awake; qualities that I feel are lost under the haze of artificial neurotransmitter modulation. I'm at an impasse that simply can't be overcome by adding a new med every few months (believe me, I tried). I feel like I'm half the person I used to be at work and at life. I crave authenticity and clarity rather than an artificial sense of (over)confidence. Despite all of that, I really feel some gratitude for the journey. I did a lot in these 15 years in spite of/because of (can't tell at this stage honestly) these meds, including getting two master's degrees and meeting really wonderful people throughout. I try to avoid an attitude of being anti psych meds as they are really helpful in some life situations. I actually don't plan on going off the ADHD med I'm currently on, and I'm even open to the idea of being on an anti-depressant in the future if needs be and I can tolerate it. I recently gave stopping Remeron a try (jumped from 3.5mg dose or thereabouts, wasn't doing accurate cutting and weighing back then), and was actually doing fine (the most salient withdrawal symptom was itchiness, which is honestly fine). This went on until sometime in the second week when the usual acute withdrawal symptoms came at me (akathisia, insomnia, nausea, etc). Before that, I experienced a lovely sense of lucidity and intellectual playfulness that made me feel 20 again. I had the loveliest conversation with my best friend, without the recent robotic disinterest that these meds seem to cause me. I decided afterwards to reinstate, get off the other problematic meds I was on first (Klonopin and Latuda), regroup, then tackle the Remeron gently. For the last few months, I've been collecting stories of people who successfully overcame this mess as well as quotes from the Baylissa's book. I've also been training my faith, acceptance, and non-resistance/non-anticipation muscles. I am currently reading Hope and Help for Your Nerves, and determined to come up with a plan with my therapist to stock up on coping skills. This endeavor is, in essence, part of a greater desire to live a life that is built around my abilities (whatever those may be after I'm done with my tapering) and interests, instead of hysterically and aggressively going after situations that are overly ambitious but ultimately destructive for me. This, to me, is the reason I went on and continued to be lulled by these meds for a decade and a half. I really don't care about material ambitions at this point; I just want a pleasant and meaningful life. I've successfully got off Klonopin after a year of (low-dosage, 0.125mg every two or three nights) last month. I've also got off Latuda this week and I'm doing generally well. I do realize that I'm still not completely clear off of these meds, so my plan is to resume my tapering etc. after some weeks. When I started, my goals were as follows: 1. Stop benzodiazepines (DONE) 2. Overcome polypharmacy 3. Stop Remeron The order of 2 and 3 doesn't matter to me, though I'm currently leaning towards stopping Remeron first as I've been on it the longest and maybe staying on Brintellix while getting off of it can lessen the withdrawal symptoms. So yeah, this is my introduction post. Thank you for reading.
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