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  1. Hi, new to this, I've never really felt like opening up about my issues before, but this is too important to me. First off, I have a amazing family, lovely wife, 3 kids, nice home, 2 cats , which I love to bits. My wife has always struggled with herself from issues from her past and has been on antidepressants for years and coped with it well, with me helping her for the last 16 years. I'm a type 1 diabetic who has struggled with looking after myself, really accepting it's real, even after many years. 3 years ago I lost my grandad and took it hard, deeper than I thought I would, then my nan passed away a year later, then my last grandparent left us. I was a mess. my wife helped my get help from the gp which was hard opening up about it all, who then put me on 30 mg citalopram, and it did help, stopped me feeling the pain. Well feeling any thing really, untill a month ago when my wife had a go at me about how I was being, i needed to come off them, I didn't care about me, causing mood swings which my amazing wife took the brunt of, didn't care about work, the kids any thing, stuff just came routine. My wife could have dropped dead and I think I would have struggled it off and Carried on, I came off them a month and a half ago and only really feeling myself again in the last few weeks, after starting to really look after myself, and realising what I've been like, neglecting my wife kids the lot, I haven't been close to any of them, especially my wife who I adored with every once of my being before all this. My wife has been distant the last few months, and I can understand why with my being a moody stranger really, last week she said she wants a divorce after christmas is over and she doesnt feel any thing for me any more, I dont think I would have cared before but with all these feeling coming back to the surface it has broken me, shattered my world that was coming back into view. I now know I've been a bad husband through all this, and I cant appologise enough for it. I've tried telling her how I felt, how I feel now, how i felt trapped in myself and how sorry i am for putting her through it all. But to no avail, it doesnt matter any more, she feels like her love has faded away. 8 months ago her doctor changed her antidepressants to the same ones I was on, citalopram, which she takes along side another one to control a jaw misalignment issue, which she did with the previous antidepressants. What I'm terrified of is, if after coming off those tablets I realised what was going on with my feelings, are her feelings real or are the citalopram doing to her what the did to me, and they are taking it all away and she doeant know it. I dont know what to do for the best Accept my fait or punishment, or try to talk about my fears about the tablets, possibly see a doctor together to change them and see how she feels, if she will. All I know is these citalopram tablets are evil , and I wish I had researched them before I accepted them, and I dont want my wife taking them any more after how they made me feel, without even knowing it. Ian Sorry for the ramble, it's hard to write down
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