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peacepresent posted a topic in Finding meaningSince having a 'psychosis' when I had a stressfull time breaking up with my girl friend and stopping weed cold turkey as well as an undiagnosed massive overdose off selenium due to eating 'ketogenic diet' and eating huge amounts of brazil nuts over few months. Since stopping the medications over a few months and taking care of my self very very strictly things have improved in regards to the risperidone 4mg for 3 months side effect. --. The psychosis was at point the most beatiful and eye opening experience of my life. Every day since being home from the 3 week hospitilisation I had extreme akathasia and anhedonia and PTSD symptoms were overwhelming. This improved over time and as the weather changed to summer and I exercised more among many other things. What has been consistent during my recovery. Is I used to have dreams as a child alot sometimes nightmares that re occured and were very vivid. Sometimes pleasant dreams I was in full control off. When going to uni and being in the 'rat race' frame of mind in ages 17-26 I had so so few dreams. Since the psychosis I notice I have a dream of a very strange intense neutral dream if I have anhedonia that if I told you about it, it would be a nightmare but due to experiencing nightmare experiences and anhedonia it just seems super real and intense and not that scary any more. Some of the dreams I have last longer and are very intense and pleasant and random. I have been doing qi gong, yoga, reading spiritual things and I 90% times I sleep now I have a moderate to very intense dream of neutral type intense nightmare. When I wake and try my best to try make sense of it, it is always something I experienced the day before either thinking about it in my own mind or direct world. It is like my mind re dreams certain pieces of memory I done the day before. For example news stories I read online The day before the dream some how are very directly in the dream or if I saw a praticular nice sports car driving for 30 mins in front of me. It may relate to that car some how. I wonder if any one else has had this and can relate? Some of the times when I had severe anhedonia and ataxia in the day and felt really like a robot and emotionless and a lack of thoughts coming into my mind and as if I had zero dopamine. I had just the desire to eat at one point. The dreams during this time grew gradually in waves with emotions in the dreams coming back in the dream before real life. Some time in big joy full waves. One time I had a dream walking down a familiar road and places with the most beatiful beatles like music in the world in full concert like it was coming from the windows of each house I walked by and everyone was playing it on there sound systems or instruments or just coming from heaven it self. I then awoke and the emotion for the first time carried into the day with me slightly before become dull again. I had a huge nightmare about my father last night where we were both screaming at each other and he became violent and blaming each other for crap that happened. Then I suddenly awoke really dehydrated and slightly panting and even slightly worried I may off shouted aloud in my sleep it felt very very real. The day before I purchased my father a health related gift and he is very lazy with his health and his partner seems to not push him enough or have knowledge of what things he should be doing to take care of himself. I cant figure out if it was due to taking the driving lesson and being slightly nervous about it? The instructor was really cool and I enjoyed the lesson so this has faded now some what. Some times its like the mind is in a PTSD mode and not trusting ANYTHING in the day that happened on a sub conscious level and re tracing it via recreating a dream of all the things that happened in the day. As my rational mind had no power when the police hand cuffed me and family were pushing me to go into 'hospital' and be force drugged. I was aware during the psychosis its just that I was super anxious having super bad dreams and thoughts that were paranoid. Althought these were quite rational due to losing trust in most people I had close to me.... What do you guys think? I have been reading a book named tibetan yogas for dreaming by a monk. Do others get dreams 90% of days that are similar in nature and moderate to very intense. Many thanks peace present