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  1. Hi all, this seems like such a lovely community, I am in a desperate place. I finished my aripiprazole taper 3 weeks ago but because it has such a long half life (45 days I believe) my withdrawal continues and only gets worse. My psychiatrist did it all too fast I think: I got down to 2.5mg then just stopped altogether. I am in mental agony. I have never had such strong suicidal urges, I'd even go so far as to say I have been committed to do it. My family have hidden knives, they supervise my access to the balcony and have taken my medication from me so that I don't take too much. I have been to A&E twice but they don't want to admit me to inpatient because I am withdrawn and quiet and they think the noise in there would cause too much distress. I have an NHS crisis team supporting me but they have put me on two more drugs that I will eventually have to taper from: clonazepam and quetiapine. I am getting addicted to the drowsy feeling these drugs give me and I find myself waiting all day until my next dose so I can experience more relief. For background: I have autism, ADHD and mixed affective Bipolar Disorder and my stable meds are Lamotrigine 100mg and Elvanse 30mg. I have already tapered off so many medications but this antipsychotic withdrawal is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I would love some support as despite going through such a tough mental health journey for most of my life, this is the most isolated I've ever felt. I'm experiencing anhedonia for hours then searing mental anguish that makes me want someone to murder me or for my loved ones to just let me do it myself. I hope I've said enough here. I could write a book but I don't want to waste anyone's time.
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