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  1. goitalone


    Firstly, a huge thank you to all those responsible for creating, maintaining and helping on this site. THANK YOU. There is great comfort in knowing there is a warm and understanding support system of those in various stages of withdrawal. In 2003 in my early 30s, I was proscribed Sertraline (25mg) by my GP for an anxiety/panic attack related to a stressful event in my personal life. While an anxious child, it had never been suggested to me to see a therapist or consider any type of anti-anxiety or anti-depressant drug (AD). Even after been given the AD, it was not recommended that I see a therapist. I stayed on 25mg until 2005 when work-related stress required me to increase my dosage to 50 mg. The work stress was quickly resolved (a couple of months), I reduced back to 25mg until 2012 when work-related stress again required me to increase my dose back to 50mg. The work-related stress was quickly resolved (a couple of months) and I moved back down to 25mg. In 2017, a work-related stressful event sent me into a tailspin and I had a breakdown. I met with a psychiatrist and my Sertraline was increased from 25mg to 100mg over a short period of time. The work-related event was protracted and after a few months I switched psychiatrists and the new psychiatrist switched me to 50mg of Pristiq and ultimately increased my dose to 150mg after I showed little improvement. In addition to Pristiq the psychiatrist put me on Gabapentin (300mg) to help me sleep and Deplin (15mg) to assist in the effectiveness of the AD. In late 2018, I changed jobs and, given that the work related stress was no longer an issue, in April 2019, I began a slow taper down from 150mg of Pristiq to 12.5mg in June 2020. At the same time, I started on 20mg of Prozac (2 weeks later stopping Pristiq entirely) to help bridge with the ultimate goal of tapering off an AD with a longer half life. I don't recall when I stopped Gabapentin, but sometime between April 2019 and June 2020, I tapered off Gabapentin entirely. In November, I began a month long taper of Deplin, reducing about 25% of the original amount each week. Today (12/9/2020) is my first day not taking any Deplin. Anyway, I am on this journey alongside you all. I have had a lot of challenges along the way, lots of questions too. I am happy to share my experiences and want to provide support wherever I can be of help. Best, goitalone (meaning without ADs)
  2. I'm 44 going through hell and it's a long story My whole life I've felt there was something wrong with me I was constantly off school due to differing health issues but have no childhood memories....... Until recently and now have only one I left school without any qualifications Started working but lost every job I had through time keeping Met my now wife (soon to be ex) at 17 and have never been apart from her since she is my everything And we have 4 wonderful kids together 19 16 13 10 In 96 after lots of visits to the Gp I was diagnosed with idiopathic hypersomnia (sleep disorder) and have been unable due to it since (I have tried but again lost each job due to time keeping or falling asleep) Over the years I've been on many different types of antidepressants and only found 1 that worked ....... what I thought was well That was around 10+ years ago till December and even tho the gp put the prescription on repeat I often noticed that my review was months or years overdue But now my life is in turmoil..... I have huge chunks of memories missing ...... not like days or weeks but loads of meaningful conversations discussions and arguments with my wife and I felt the pills are to blame I often felt obsession over things and that the thoughts were not my own but didn't associate anything with the pills as they kept me feeling level .......no matter what was thrown at me and was often described as being so laid back I was horizontal Anyway in December my wife who used to do a lot for charity events attending and helping was raped at knifepoint but when she came home and told me ...... Something happened and I'm now loosing her Instead of being a caring loving partner that I should of been the shock of it turned me nasty ....... I don't mean physical I mean emotionally unstable unattached and said somethings I didn't want to say But now please believe me as I feel no one does but the shock of hearing her tell me made me have an out of body experience and although I could see that nasty dirty rude uncaring scum kneeling on the floor saying those things to her ...... It was not me, I was stood in the corner of the room in disamay at what was happening but couldn't stop it And at that point I realised that I needed of those pills as that was NOT me but the damage had been done and I can't take that back and I went cold turkey off the flouoxetine Now 10months later still feel those pills have done me over but what's worse have destroyed my life and my marriage Mistakes have been made and trust destroyed on her part but I've drove my wife away and she's now left me I've just spent the last 12weeks begging and pleading her to stay but she can't see past what I've done Now let's get up to date 2 or 3 days ago I started to have memories only vague and not complete but they are not nice and I'm starting to think that where the pills are coming out my system they are unlocking lots of boxes in my head ....... First time I've said that out loud not I can't say by whom as that's still blank and my family are no longer with us I feel that a lot of my issues may all relate to this and have been misdiagnosed due to being locked away Well I wish I had found out how bad fluoxetine was but now it's cost me everything I've ever loved and destroyed my life and that's without the withdrawal symptoms that now are making me more suicidal along with everything else Really need help and people to talk to as I'm not coping at all well Oh and I'm in SE London uk
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