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  1. Kristine

    Kristine: not alone

    Moderator note: link to Kristine's benzo thread - Kristine: Protracted clonazepam withdrawal? Hello, I am new to this site and would firstly like to extend my gratitude to all the people who have shared their stories and support. I now know I am not alone. My story is long and complex so I will attempt to condense it. I am 43 years old and was introduced to antidepressants 10 years ago after being diagnosed with MDD, GAD and PTSD (l do not feel comfortable with labels) by my psychiatrist. During the first 8 years of treatment multiple antidepressants and other psychotropic medications were prescribed. I will fast forward to October 2015 when I attempted to end my life (I had never been suicidal prior to taking antidepressants). I had to resign from work and was hospitalised for 1 month. At the time I had been taking citalopram for a number of years and had reached the maximum dose. My intuition told me it was not helping. I wanted to stop this medication and my psychiatrist was supportive of this decision. However, it is obvious to me now that she was inexperienced and uneducated with this process. The citalopram was ceased over one week and due to severe anxiety I was commenced on seroquel and diazepam. After leaving hospital I managed to taper off the seroquel and diazepam but became increasingly unwell both mentally and physically. My psychiatrist convinced me that my mental illness had returned and I was commenced on Parnate which was increased in dose over 3 months. Instead of improving my mental and physical ailments worsened and my psychiatrist sort a second opinion. I was hospitalised again in May 2016 under the 'care' of another psychiatrist. This was the beginning of an indescribable hell where I was treated like a human lab rat. Looking back the medications he prescribed were beyond belief and I was the victim of poly pharmacy without adequte professional rational. Unfortunally, like so many others, I was vulnerable and trusted his guidance. He treated me as both an inpatient and out patient over a one year period. Over this time I was prescribed over 14 psychotropic medication some of which were abruptly ceased and crossed over with other medications. If this wasn't enough I was subjected to 15 sessions of unnessaccery ECT. Not surprisingly, I was in a zombified state, unable to function and unable to return to work. My anxiety and depression was not alleviated and I was plagued with tremors, nausea, vomiting, fatigue and migraines. By April 2017 I ceased my appointments with this psychiatrist (he had little belief in withdraw symptoms or side effects of the medication he prescribed - he resorted to blaming me) and returned to my previous psychiatrist. Over the past eight months I have the mammoth task of withdrawing from multiple medications. These include escitalopram (completed reduction), Lithium (competed reduction), clonazepam (partial reduction), bupropion (completed reduction), seroquel (completed reduction), dexamphetamine (partial reduction) and fluoxetine (no reduction). My withdrawal symptoms are horrendous and relentless. My psychiatrist has been unable to advise me along a comfortable path. She appears to be in denial and her support has mostly evaporated. I feel abandoned, alone and frightened. I was forced to seek information independently (for which I am grateful), which continues to be a hideous realisation that for years I was in a constant state of drug withdrawal, side effects and drug interaction. I also feeling very angry about my treatment. I am tapering at the 10% rate now (one medication at a time) but even though I know road ahead will be long and rocky, I feel a sense of empowerment from educating myself. What I am experiencing is common and I am finally breaking free from the clutches of psychiatry.
  2. Hi folks, Just looking for a bit of advice. I'd been on Prozac, 25mg a day, for 9 months, for depression and wanted to come off them. I was advised by my doctor to take a 25mg tablet on alternating days for 1 month and then stop completely. I did this and have now been off for 4 weeks. Asides from some rather severe depression symptoms my main withdrawal issue has been PGAD (Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder), something which I suffered with 2 years ago. What I'm wondering is, does this mean I tapered off too quickly? I should also mention I have M.E. and tend to respond strongly to drugs. Is the best plan of action to just ride this out and hope the symptoms go or to go back on the Prozac and taper off again much slower? (my doctor did tell me if I go back on the Prozac I'd have to stay on for 2 years but I really don't want to do that.) Any advice appreciated, Thanks
  3. Hi everyone I was on Paxil 20mg for 19 years- most of which time it worked well (except for some weight gain and bloating). While studying at grad school I started taking Adderall for four years until it developed until a problem and managed to come off it inn July 2017. Went through the PAWs from that which lasted for a long time (and is maybe still ongoing). However, since I came off the Adderall, the Paxil appeared to have stopped working (either than or the PAWs from the Adderall was overriding its effects). So 5 months ago I decided to do the Prozac bridge to see if Prozac would work for me. I did a straight switch to Prozac 20 mg without any tapering and felt some withdrawals and also felt weird most likely from starting on the Prozac as well. While taking Prozac I have been up and down, with good weeks and bad. However, in the last two weeks I have had what seem suspiciously like the 'waves' I hear about on this site. I have felt the worst I have ever felt in my life and it seems very much like SSRI withdrawal to me (I've experienced withdrawals from Paxil several times before when I either ran out or tried to quit). This time symptoms include a sense of impending doom, nausea, tinnitus, hypersensitivity to stress, depression. It seems unusual to be suddenly hit with withdrawal symptoms 5 months after giving up Paxil and while still taking Prozac right? So my question is- is this some delayed withdrawal to the Paxil I stopped taking 5 months ago or is it some adverse reaction to the Prozac (even though I have had periods of feeling fine on it). I am leaning towards to the possibility of coming off the Prozac and reinstating the Paxil. Even though I was feeling pretty depressed when I was on Paxil last I didn't feel like this now where I basically feel like I'm losing my mind. Any recommendations on what I should do?
  4. ADMIN NOTE See ang's Intro topic with her earlier history here ☼ ang: help and confidence needed Hello Altostrata and friends. I now believe I am a success story. I am working, contributing and ENJOYING life again. I am 58, so I am grateful that I can enjoy maybe a few more years of my life. From the amount of drugs I was on, this is a miracle. Took me I would say, many years. Mistakes I made, so, so many, ........then in desperation .......... I found this wonderful lifeline Surviving Antidepressants. The pharma fraud, and psychiatric fraud, and $$$$ made destroying lives on these poisons, I can never forgive. I have not been able to update my own timeline, as I have been so happily busy. I do, however, wish to write my survival story, maybe in 6 months, when I am permanent in my job, and will update with all the things I have done in the last 6 months. Just wanted to say, is hard to revisit this site, remembering how ill and desperate I was. But I will, and I will contribute when I can. Yes, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, for me the agony waxed and waned for a couple of years. Keep up the fight, never give in. Happy Easter Everyone. I am so hoping you may be able to enjoy, but I know how ill I have been, and family and friends were just too much to cope with. This easter, I cant WAIT to see my grandkids and family. Yes the brain recovers from these poisons. Cheers Ang
  5. angielynn78ii Over the last 10 years I’ve been on antidepressants. At different stages I was on Pristiq, Celexa, Cymbalta, Viibryd and Prozac. I was also on Lamictal and Klonopin. I am proud to say that I am currently free of all prescription medications. I took my last dose of Prozac 27 days ago. I’m surviving but I look forward to thriving. I could say so much and really want to share more but currently I just don’t have the energy or clarity. I will write again when able.
  6. Hi all, I’m so grateful for websites like these. I was on Mirtazapine for over a year at 15mg/day for sleep. Can’t remember exactly how long. I’m so stupid I stopped cold turkey. I just didn’t want to be on them anymore. I did not keep record of timeline but I believe after 8-12 or more weeks of stopping all of a sudden I couldn’t sleep. However, I’ve been going through a lot of relationship issues that has caused me emotional pain and anxiety which I though it was that until I researched withdrawal. I panicked and took a dose of 7.5mg and 15mg here and there. It wasn’t working like it used to so I decided to go on 7.5mg everyday for last two weeks. Panicked and up it to 15mg for a few days. Now back to 7.5mg. I’m so scared. I can’t sleep. Some night I can’t sleep at all. In the last week I sleep for four hrs and automatically always up same time every night (4hrs of sleep). I don’t know what to do. I jus want to come off again and deal with the insomnia. No other symptoms except for what I’m feeling with my personal issues. I shouldn’t of come back on and just went with insomnia. Should I just stop it all together again since I cannot sleep anyway?
  7. Unsure if I'm posting in the right place but this is somewhat of an introduction. 1.5 years ago I started on 20mg of Prozac for OCD. There was restlessness with starting but it went away. Gradually I tapered down to 10mg of Prozac which I was on for a full year. 2 months ago, I felt the sudden onset of a a very severely agitated feeling. It was very vague but I can pinpoint the exact moment I noticed it -- I was sitting, doing nothing remarkable, and unstressed. I had felt something like this before throughout my treatment but it was very very temporary and felt more like an agitated depression brought on by external circumstances. When this feeling started I could not pinpoint anything else as the cause. Things were good in all parts of my life. I had not messed with the dosage of Prozac at all for a year. Is it still possible that the Prozac is causing this long term agitation/akathisia that I still experience today? A month into the feeling I decided to taper off Prozac completely. I experienced very little withdrawal...just mild headaches and dizziness. The akathisia didn't get worse or better. But it is still quite bad. And the longer it continues the more hopeless I become and probably the more depressed as well because I can't see a life without this agitation anymore. Started on some Klonopin to treat the restlessness and help me sleep. Has anyone else experienced akathisia without a dose change? And also only being on a low dose?
  8. I have been on antidepressants 3 times in the last 14 years. Usually would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off with no problems. The last time I took them (2011), I needed the maximum dose of sertraline (200mg) to get an effect. After a year on it, I felt it was time to stop. The nurse insisted I had to keep taking or risked relapsing into severe depression. I tried several times to bring up the topic to no avail. After about 1.5 years on it, I cut the dose on my own to 150mg and felt ok for 2 weeks. But after I started having a dull headache that lasted hours, dizziness, serious cognitive difficulties and severe fatigue. I could not function and needed excessive sleep (12-14 hours/day). Tried increasing it again and the more severe symptoms got better, but the headache and flu-like malaise persisted for at least a week. I consulted with a psychiatrist. We tried effexor and cut on zoloft. Had no withdrawal symptoms, as I was cross-tapering. I was completely off the zoloft. Only took Effexor for about a month on a low dose (never past 150 mg) because it never helped with the symptoms of Atypical Depression I had. When I started tapering down the effexor, I got the dizziness and extreme fatigue again. When I would fall asleep, I found it extremely hard to get up. Literally felt pinned to the bed. Woke up more tired than I went to bed, even after 12 hours of sleep. Woke up dizzy and with a headache. I increased dose again and we're doing a slower taper over 21 days. The starting dose is 37.5mg. I experience dull headache that lasts hours, flu-like malaise, muscle tension, fatigue every day (with the occassional good day of no symptoms and the occassional day of much worse symptoms). I have learned to cope the best I can with these symptoms, but the fatigue gets unbearable at times. I sleep 12 hours at night and still feel tired and even drowsy during the day. I'm in grad school and it's hard and often impossible to study or even make it to class. I was supposed to decrease dose to 25 mg after 10 days on 37.5mg, but since I still have symptoms, I'll ask dr if I can postpone the decreasing... Im also concerned that the increasing apathy Ive had over the last 7 years might be due to antidepressant use. It could also be depression, but if it is SSRI use, its a very scary symptom that is not going away (has not gone away for more than 3 months in over 14 years since I started having depression/taking SSRIs). The only reason I can semi-function today is because I take nuvigil (a stimulant) 3 or 4 times/week. Without that, I can't do homework or clean or shower. Im extremely dysfunctional. I don't rely only on the stimulant though. I use it to give me energy and motivation and alertness that I use to do positive things, which improve my mood and further help with apathy.
  9. Greetings I am a 49 year old male. I was prescribed Paxil 20mg 15 years ago. I was having panic attacks and originally prescribed Zoloft. I reacted badly to that med and immediately took my self off of it. Wasnt on it more than 3 days. Still suffering from gripping anxiety my PCP suggested I try another med in this class as everyone reacts differently to them. Initially I resisted but wanted relief. So I relented and took the sample starter pack of Paxil. Within 2 weeks I was feeling better. There was no question it had an affect. I had mild sexual side effects mainly muted orgasms. In the big picture it was a small price to pay for not living in constant fight or flight mode. I have tried numerous times to get off of this drug. Always failing. Being told that my symptoms where a return of what led me to go on the medication to begin with. I could get down to 10 mg but never any lower before experiencing significant discomfort. I would go into crises and return to my original dosage. I saw a psychiatrist and he prescribed prozac to substitute for the longer half life. That was a huge mistake. This summer I began a new quest feeling more determined than ever to rid myself of this poison. I got down to 10 mg and stayed there for months. I was stable. Using a pill cutter I got down to 5 mg and felt relatively stable. I convinced my PCP to prescribe Paxil in liquid form. This suspension was 10 mg per 5 ml. I started taking 2.5ml/ equivalent of 5 mg. I seemed ok. So I went down to 2 ml and seemed ok. Very little side effects. I was feeling strong so I did the very stupid thing and accelerated my taper. I went down to 1.5 ml. then 2 weeks later went down to 1.2 ml. All hell broke loose. Panic attacks. Flu symptoms. Anxiety. Crying. Anger. pain. Hypochondria. I researched supplements and tried Omega 3's, B Complex, vitamin D. researched tryptophan and 5-HTP but thought better than to try this. It seemingly came in waves. Everytime I hit a window I thought it was over and I was stabalizing just to hit an intense wave again. mornings seem better with waves in the afternoon. Im afraid I damaged my nervous system. Im struggling with what I should do next. I have become fearful I will always have these symptoms. Not sure if I should up my dose or stand pat and give myself more time to stabilize. I recently have had windows where I feel fantastic. Like my old self. Only to hit an intense wave of misery. Its brutal. I do not trust doctors. They are clueless. I have been told to skip doses etc....its unreal the disservice so many people have suffered at the hands of this poison. "Its not addictive" you might feel uncomfortable for a week or two. My god I want to shove this down their throats and let them feel it. Should I up my dose? Stand pat and stabilize? I have been on 1.2 ml for 4 weeks and still feeling symptoms. Maybe just a slight bit of improvement. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
  10. frederike01

    frederike01

    Hello everyone! Ok it's a long story but i'll give it a shot! my name is Frederike. Oh and my english might be not THAT good, but...i'll try my best! =) . When i was very jong (about 12 years old) i started to develop anxiety combined with OCD. At that age it wasnt very harmfull yet but it got worse when i got older. I went to a psychologist at 13/14 but that didnt really help. so i stopped going. But my anxiety didnt left me so i went. The psychiatrist prescribed me fluvoxamine when i was 15 years old. I also started to experience 24/7 derealisation. The meds. didnt really work i think but i thought maybe it would be worse without them and i dindt know how hard it was to get off back then so i kept taking them. my anxiety OCD en derealisation didnt disapeare or get any better. i try'd to stop several times but the next day after lowering my dose my derealisation would become so bad i couldnt stop if i wanted to continue to function. and the docters told me: well, then keep taking them. So i took the pills for many years and after taking them for about 8 years my anxiety and derealisation slowely worsened.3 years ago all of a sudden i felt really bad and anxious i had to stop working. I went to my dokter and firt we desided to higher my dose. i was on 125 mg fluoxetine. But that dindnt work at all. It made me feel even worse. so i decided to lower my medication (with my dokter)and maybe switch to some other meds. i was on 175 mg. fluoxetine at that moment.I decided i didnt want to switch but i wanted to stop taking the meds. because they never really worked and i wanted to solve my problems for real.i wanted to know wich part of my problem was really mine and witch part maybe the meds. i knew i would never get better if i would start trying some other meds. i was afraid i would even get sicker. So i went from 175 to 0 in about 5 weeks. Even though i felt so so bad i kept on lowering because my docter told me : after quitting the withdrawal will last for only 3 weeks.Then they will disapear.Wel that was the breaking point. i went totally insane,experienced continue panic and anxiety OCD and derealisation at the worsed levvel.my symtomes had NEVER been this severe.So i went into a mental hospital. They gave me paroxetine. i was ok with it bacause i wanted to "ficks" this way to fast lowering of my medication, and dicided to take it and then slowely taper off when i was back home. In the end I was on 50 mg. paroxetine and 1,5 mg lorazepam. but it never really covered up the mess quitting fluoxetine made.Only a little.At that time i didnt know paroxetine is the worst drugg (SSRI) to get of but I found out soon enough. I found a good therapist (not a psichiatrist) and dicided to slowely taper off meanwhile fixing myself with therapy. All this time i could not work or function. every single step i took on lowering was a hell. I am on 0,5 mg lorazepam now and 3,5 mg. fluoxetine. When i was on 14 mg paroxetine i couldnt get any lower. even lowering 0,2 made me feel to terrible. so i siwtched to fluoxetine because it would be easyer to get off. the switching was hell. then i started lowering from 14. every week i took off 2 mg. until i was on 4. ( i did this again in a clinic).i thought it would be way to quick for me but i felt no extra withdrawal symptomes. wich i almost couldnt believe. Then after going home ( at 4 mg.) i broke down again. obviously the withdrawal started wayyy later.So here i am, feeling worsed then ever. Not knowing when this hell will stop and whether i will still be alive by then. Starting new medication is no option at all because whatever psychiatric drug i put into my body, my body just cant take it.So this my story in short thermes. right now i'm on 0,5 mg lorazepam and 3,5 mg fluoxetine. Hope to speak to you soon!
  11. Hi there, I am new here. Been on different anti-depressants since 1995. Recently had been on Prestiq 100 mg and Abilify 10 mg. Due to procrastination, finances and major stress, depression and an addiction I ran out of the Abilify and only had 4 Prestiq left before I finally made a Dr appointment and paid 150.00 cash self-pay to see my long-time Dr. Due to very low income and no insurance he switched me from Prestiq to Prozac 40 mg which is much cheaper (Fluoxetine). First Prozac was 1/12/17...he said it will help but not prevent all the Prestiq withdrawals. I still feel the loss of the Prestiq with dizziness, brain zaps, major fatigue, unstable, confused and fearful. Is this normal? How long will it last? If you have been on Prozac did it work for you and are there any side effects like fatigue, weight gain, anxiety, etc)? Next month (Feb 2017) I am hoping to have health insurance again and can switch meds if need be but wanna give this Prozac a chance to work (how long does it take to start working?). Thanks for any feedback you can offer!
  12. Hello, I was started on Effexor 75 mg a year ago for anxiety and OCD. I tried cutting my dose in half 2-3 months ago to 37.5 mg not realizing about withdrawal symptoms. I have never struggled with depression but since changing the dose have been really depressed. 3 weeks ago my doctor added Prozac saying it would help but it doesn’t seem to. I am so frustrated and feel like Effexor has caused me more problems than good. Since I tapered so quickly I don’t know if I should go back up to 75 on Effexor or increase my Prozac or what to do. I feel like my doctors aren’t sure what I should do either as he told me it’s up to me to decide my taper on my own thanks for your time and help in advance
  13. Hi all, thank so much for this forum. Here is my introduction. Since I was 16 years old I was put on Fluoxetin in a clinic, after a crysis and traumatic experiences. Clinic helped me a lot, but probably not because the medication. I tried to get off it when I was 19 years old because I felt more stable. I made a CT with Fluoxetin. I started to get panic attacs in certain situation (thought its because I stopped Medication). So I went to the doctor and he gave me Citalopram. First weeks of this drug were very difficult and horrorfiying. Lots of anxiety even with mild paranoia. After a few weeks I got better. On this Med it was the first time I had to fight with fatique. Moreover I had because of CT of Fluoxeitn or Citalopram agressions and moreover a lot of anxiety that drove me crazy in certain situations. This symptoms was always worst in the morning and earlier hours, especially the fatique. I moved into a new town to study. I just tried to accept this fatique, thought it was a kind of normal or blamed myself for it (go earlier to bed, get a regulary bed and wake-up time etc.) or thought it was something psychologically. Also had a lot of anxiety. Dont know if it was influenced by medication. Somehow I managed to get a Bachelor degree. I was also prescriped with Opipramol in that period and had a CT from it. At some point I thought this fatique can not be normal - to be always tired like that. I went to a doctor made a blood test. Doctor said its is psychologically. I went to a Psychatrist and told him I am always tired and want to try another medications. I asked for Fluoxetin, because I had less fatique on that one. He gave me that and I had a CT with Citalopram and took Fluoxetin. In that time I went abroad to work for a few month. I had terrible fatique and anxiety, shocks and twiches in my head and body when I was drinking coffee with my colleauges while putting the cup to my mouth. It was really uncomfortable. On some days horrible depressions with suiciadal thoughts. I was quieter than I used to be and mostly very depresssed. Somehow i knew it could be connected to Fluoxetin but did not thought of WD of Citalopram. When I come back to my country after a few months. I told doctor about this fatique and some symptoms and CT from Fluoxetin again and was prescribed with Paroxetin. I was very depressed, full of anxiety, desperated and fatique and suppossed to find my first full time job. Somehow I managed it and I was getting better. After a year on some point I was really ok. However, the fatique become worse and worse - from year to year. Again a blood test and even a test for sleep apnea in labour showed no result. Again I was told it is psychologically. I thought i could be connected to Paroxetin. One Doctor in sleep labour even agreed. I decided to get off it. I made a lot of research on the Internet, I understand I had to taper it slowly. But since the fatique was probably a side effect I decided to go more quickly and tapered in 6 Months from 10 mg to 0 (since May 2019 0mg). There was specially a lot of fatique (like always) later also more anxiety. First week after 0 mg was very good. Later I become worse and worse. Especially the anxiety. Sometimes the anxiey, sometimes the fatique is more on the foreground. I just feel like I want to rest and relax more. I have to work which is biggest challenges with this symptoms and also triggers a lot. I also started are Psychotherapy. She believes me that my state is coming from stopping AD and accept my decision not take them anymore. Fatique and anxiety are by far the most difficult symptoms. Moreover I have: - Problems with my eyes, especially with light - Back pain and tensions - Depressions with suicidal thoughts (think its caused by the other symptoms) - have to be very carefully with exercises (hobby) and all other activities cause it can trigger symptoms - weather changes trigger symptoms. Freezing a lot. - Situation that normally just makes me a bit nervousness, now gives me almost panic attacs I am taking omega 3 fish oil and sometimes zinc. Dont know if it has an effect. Tried in the last months these supplements: 5-htp, L-Tryptophan, Ashwagandha, Rhodiola rosea, Magnesium It could have triggered symptoms, so I stopped all of them. I am going to give Ginseng a chance (I know I have to be careful). It is incredible hard to get up in the morning and feel so fatique and tired, sometimes it is even hard to breath and every action needs so much energy (e.g. taking shoes on). I am sleeping very well. I just feel like i need much more sleep (I cannot get earlier too bed) and rest at the moment. In the evening I get better. Sometimes there are very clear and good moments in the evening, which give me hope. I really hope it gets a bit better in the next 6 months when I am one year off meds. I am thankful for every tip, hint, similiar experience and hope.
  14. Hi Guys. I have been on every SSRI over the past 2 years, apart from Paroxetine. This all started from some situational anxiety at work. Each time i took a medication i was on them for about 3 month without any benefit at all. I would loose time at work, cold turkey and return back to work. Each time i did this i was getting worse and worse. I would then return back to the doctor and ve started on something else. This has basically gone on for 2 years. All this time i have got worse. I have now come to understand withdrawal and the fact i could have well been prescribed numerous medications due to an illness been mistaken for withdrawal. 8 weeks ago after stopping my second attempt of Escitalopram for 3 months i decided to stop for good with a fast taper. I feel anxious, dizzy, fatigued, poor cognition and inability to focus. I know if i take a dose of SSRI that this will improve however i will return to the Zombie state of meds. I am finished with medication!!! On reflection my problems i encountered prior to any medication was far easier than the problems i have had the past 2 years on medications. I think i have been a victim of Psychiatry! I dont think i ever needed medication! My chemical imbalance was created by meds! If i had no knowledge of this i would be stuck in Psychiatry! I just want to know ppls experiences and can i still be in withdrawal at 8 weeks after 2 years of messing about with meds. Thanks Lee
  15. Nuttinanna

    Nuttinanna

    Hi I am a 71 yr old nana who has had Lupus for 30+ years. I have been on Fluoxetine for approx 14 yrs. Started on 40mg. In 2013 reduced to 20 mg. After tons of therapy and other improvements in lifestyle I now believe that Fluoxetine is not doing me any good and am trying to stop. Started 8 weeks ago skipping doses every 4 days which had no effects after 2 weeks. So skipped one every 3 days and after a week started with withdrawal symptoms that have intensified. This has been going on for 6 weeks now and showing no sign of stabilising. Am now thinking I should go back and start again more slowly and get the liquid form. will be talking to Doc but although a great doctor she knows less about withdrawal than I do. Any feedback or advice would be appreciated. Also take Hydroxychloroquine, Ramapril, Bendroflumathiazide, Omeprazole,Thyroxine, Cod Liver Oil, Multivitamins. Many thanks
  16. Hi All, Been away for a while. Got into a very bad place where i could not be alone anymore and felt like my life was worthless. Got suicidal thoughts. Went to a psychiatrist. Who told me this was not only caused by withdrawal (withdrawal paroxetine 2,5 mg at that time). It was a relapse of my depression. So she convinced me to start with Fluoxetine (prozac) and to taper off the paroxetine when the prozac works. On Prozac now for 5 weeks. With 1,5 weeks on 10 mg and then upped 3,5 weeks to 20 mg. Stayed on on paroxetine 2,2 mg (1,1 ml of the liquid form) all these 5 weeks. I noticed less fear and most off my withdrawal effects improved. I sleep good but the depression is still heavy, lack of energy and not wanting to socialize or answer my phone. I am numb and have a restless feeling in my chest and extreme jaw clacking. I seriously am doubting if adding the prozac has been the right move. I feel so stupid that i agreed to give it a try. Please if anyone has a good advice let me know. Should i best come off the prozac and give the paroxetine more time ? And how to do this? Or should i give the prozac a try to kick in before tapering off paroxetine and then slowly tapering off the prozac later? thanks greetings Julia
  17. Cigarettes at age 11. Alcohol periodically from age 13 to age 30. Valium episodically from age 18 to age 27. I have been on myriad anti-depressants since 1982 for major depression and generalized anxiety. Imipramine, desyrel, ativan. Off drugs from 1984 till 1995. Started Prozac 1995 till 2014 (did well from 1995 to 2011). Tried Wellbutrin, Cymbalta. Abilify and Trintellix from March 2014 till August 8, 2017 (depression free). Had to withdraw due to cervical dystonia and tremors which still persist. Terrible experience withdrawing from Abilify and Trintellix. Started Wellbutrin 150 mg. and Prozac 10 mg. for one week to help with withdrawal. Then increased Wellbutrin to 300 mg. and experienced ringing in ears; stopped the Wellbutrin and increased Prozac to 20 mg. (10 in A.M.; 10 in P.M.) Now on Prozac 20 mg. per day, occasional Propranolol for tremors (doesn't help). I've read that coming off Abilify can take up to 3 months or more, and it has been 2 months so far. I feel like I've spent (wasted) my entire adult life trying to feel better, first by self-medicating, then by psychiatric medicating. I'm 72 years old. I wonder if there is any hope for me.
  18. Hello all! I will try to make this nice and short. I have been on lexapro 20mg for about 5 years with great success. However, I recently had been constantly tired, sleeping 10 hours at night, and 3 hours during the day. I got blood work and a sleep study, all negative, so i suspected my medication. This had made things difficult, so i decided to talk to my doctor, who recommended reducing the dose to 15mg. This had went well for the most part, but i began to feel foggy, so he recommended switching to prozac. Here is how he switched me: Week 1: 15mg lexapro, 20 mg prozac Week 2: 10mg lexapro, 20 mg prozac Week 3: 5mg lexapro, 20 mg prozac Week 4: 20 mg prozac only I have been on 20mg prozac only for ~1 weeks, and it has been hell. I have had insomnia, increased depression/anxiety, but most severely, I have had intense brain fog. I have trouble remembering anything. I am in my final year of physical therapy school, in my final clinical rotation, and it has 100% affected my performance. I struggle with simply remembering what my patients have already done, remembering their names, remembering techniques I have learned, etc. I am thinking this intense brain fog is mostly due to coming off the lexapro so quickly after being on it for so long, combined with a small amount of prozac side effects. Sooo, my question is this: Do i stick it out with the prozac and hope my body gets used to it? Do i jump from 20mg of prozac to 40mg (my doctor said it is up to me?), Or do i go back to taking my 20mg of lexapro, and gradually tapering my medication properly using the 10% rule. I am leaning to doing this, but feel terrible, as its like I am addicted to these medications to simply function. But at the same time, this is the most important part of my young career, as suceeding in clinical rotation leads to job offers and is necessary to even graduate. Any advice is greater appreciated!!
  19. Hello! I have been following this forum for a while, but haven't been able to find time and energy to write my own introduction. I found this site after searching relentlessly for other answers to mental wellness besides antidepressants. Besides lots of other informative books I read Whitaker's "Anatomy of Epidemics", and understood better what happened to me last year when I had a big relapse, which I'm still recovering from. Medications didn't help anymore. Things only started improving when I started taking supplements (Daily Essential Nutrients, which is former Empowerplus), and applied gluten free casein free diet. And since then, I have carefully tapered down with medications. But I write briefly about my story from the beginning. I have difficult background and lot's of things I have had to work through psychologically, because my dear mother suffered from severe depression for many years and finally it ended with her suicide in 2002. But I don't go into depths about that, but try to give you general idea of what has happened over the years. It was very hard after her death, and with difficult relationship at the same time, so I ended up taking antidepressants for some time. I was really paranoid about them, and agreed to take only small amount - 10mg citalopram, for like 5-6 months. As time went on, I started to get really bad mood swings myself in 2005. In summer 2006 I ended taking birth control pills I had been taking for 8 years. At the same time there was high pressure at work and another relationship that didn't work out. Few months after quitting the pills, I fell into hole I hadn't even been able to imagine before. Severe depression with even small amount of psychotic symptoms (delusional guilt thoughts). It was really, really bad. There was a psychiatrist, that put me on citalopram "because it worked before". 40g, which, in hindsight, was really high and I probably suffered a lot from not only the illness, but AD side-effects. I didn't really feel that the pills were helping, although after a few months I was out from the most awful state of mind. I continued to take the meds for some months, but then dropped it - I just didn't want to take them (I saw my mom deteriorating on AD-s, and didn't believe in them). But I was not the same after this crisis. I'd lost something in me. And as time went on, I started to sink down again. Until in 2008 (3 years suffering), it was so bad that I had no other way than to search for help again. I started cognitive-behavioural therapy, and did it vigorously, but it didn't help. And then I started meds again. After first tries that didn't work, I started prozac (20mg) - and it's effect was amazing and very strong!!! I got flashes and glimpses of my warm and good memories, I felt like a ton had fallen from my shoulders, it was quite dramatic improvement. I continued to get better gradually for at least a year. I felt that I gained about 80% of my wellness. As things were going well, I thought it's ok to stop them now. I was still very wary about taking those drugs long term. I gradually stopped it, I think during 1-2 months. I remember I had withdrawal (feeling very angry and irritated), but pushed through it. I had learned a lot in therapy and thought I can handle myself. I was really emotional after ending it, cried a lot and it put a strain on my new relationship. After a couple of months I was really going down again, I felt really bad, depressed, awful, and anxious about the relationship. my pdoc restarted prozac. It didn't work anymore! It was awful... to realize that the drug doesn't help anymore. We tried duloxetine, which gave bad side-effects. and then sertraline (zoloft), which, after 3-4 weeks started giving relief. So the dynamics was such: I stopped the drug, restarted it about 4 months later, waited for 5 weeks, then started new one (1-2 weeks), and then new one, which eventually started to work. The relationship still ended though, after a few more months. I didn't fall into pieces after that, although it was hard. 2009-2011 I was on Zoloft then (50mg). Looking back, things were more stable. not perfect, but I was able to live my life. In July-August 2011, I was in love, and thought I could do better if I reduced my antidepressant. I took 3/4 pill for a week and then half, since the beginning of August. By the end of August I was quite a mess. I didn't think about meds at all because I was dealing with relationship and I thought this all is psychological, and due to past traumas and my own illness, etc. I felt very raw psychological pain at this time, and it took a long time to get out of this hole - I remember hurting like hell all autumn. And we (me and psychiatrist) started messing with meds. I think at first we upped zoloft, to 1,5 tablets (75mg). I think it didn't help - therefore we switched me to citalopram. I think first at 1 tablet, then 1,5. it helped for a little, but then I think caused me to be very tired and stoned. I think I then reduced it again, and went to 0,5 tablets (somewhere in November). And then, in the end of January 2012 I quit that entirely. I ran out of meds, and then thought, what the hell, I don't want to take them at all. I realized that they were not helping very much, but I totally did NOT realize how much harm they are doing, especially if withdrawing! During all this autumn 2011, I was making intensive progress in therapy, so I attributed a lot of my feelings to psychological things. And at the end, we did quite remarking breakthrough, and I also felt better, so I naturally thought about dropping the pills. I experienced sudden and dramatic IMPROVEMENT in my condition, especially psychologically! I felt alive, sensitive, feeling, lighter, more awake, really connected to life and people and things! wow! I saw very vivid dreams and I swore that I even visually saw more clearly! I did feel also psysical sypmtoms - like dizziness, little nausea. but nothing so bad that I couldn't tolerate. In april, my mood starts swinging. I managed it with lots of meditation, and running, etc. but it continues and gets worse. Until in the end of June - boom - suddenly during a period of one week, I suddenly crashed so deep, it's hard to even describe it. The relapse was very sudden and steep. I deteriorated into suffering which is unimaginable. I had been through very, very painful mental illness periods before, but this was one of the two most awful crisis. and it didn't go away. new pdoc, at first reinstated zoloft, I think. didn't help. then swithed to paroxetine. things only got worse, paroxetine gave me horrible side-effects, besides everything else. then switched to buproprion. didn't help. at all. I ended up in the hospital. they started me on Prozac again. plus 50mg seroquel for sleep. This was in August, last year, 2012. Things actually did not improve after that, or improved really, really little. And I developed hypersomnia - sleeping 14-16 hours a day. But still feeling tired. We increased Prozac to 40mg, but after that I was reluctant to do any more changes. I felt that meds just don't help me anymore. And it proved to be correct, because for 8 months, there was very little improvement (all that time I stayed on 40mg prozac + 50mg seroquel). I started reading about meds. Before that, I had done ALL possible with psychological interventions. CBT, EMDR, intensive therapy, group therapy, ect. all things very helpful for personal growth, but unhelpful for feeling so bad still. now I started reading about meds. And vitamins and minerals. I read Whitaker's book, and finally understand what happened last year - that the horrible condition I ended up with, might be because of ending drugs too abruptly. It helped to give me back some security - at least I understood, what happened, and what almost caused me my life. I also read a lot about vitamins and minerals and mental health. I started taking lots of supplements in March, and noticed small improvement in my hypersomnia. Then I switched to Daily Essential Nutrients (former EmpowerPlus) in April. At the end of April I started tapering down Prozac, by 1/10 amount in month or more time. In June, I started gluten-free-casein-free diet (with the help of nutritional therapist). I have been improving since April. When I started DEN, it made me more tired for a week or so. And then, I think it started detoxification process in my body - I had violent headaches, woke up with swollen face, didn't tolerate alcohol at all (half glass of champagne gave me horrible hangover the next day). But those things passed - I think the headaches stopped completely when I started GFCF diet. My mood has definitely improved, if I look back a couple of months. I don't think about death anymore. I have more concentration, and my memory is better. although I'm not by any means in good shape, I'm out of crisis. My energy has improved more slowly, and hypersomnia as well, but they, too, are improving. There are days now when I can sleep 10 hours, and I'm very glad about it. I'm able to do more things. I think I feel prozac withdrawal after two weeks when I have reduced it. I plan to go in the same pace (4mg down each month) until 20mg, and after that go 2mg/month. and at the same time, reduce also seroquel. Whoah, that was a long story to write down. Thank you for anybody who had the energy to read it through! I have some questions for you, too... - does it also seem to you, that lot's of my problems are drug-induced - withdrawal-induced? - what about illness itself? lots of people here discuss how they were put on AD-s which in hindsight were not needed, and then developed problems. I had small depression even before drugs. after my moms death I was on low dosage and for little time (half a year). And I did have bad trauma in my life. My mood swings and depressions were bad without AD-s... - my first biggest crash coincided with quitting baby pills (hormones). I have long suspected there was a link. I think I was sensitive to chemical changes, and the stress and traumas had built up, but my body couldn't handle it anymore. I also think taking long time baby pills can deplete the body from some important vitamins/minerals, and cause biochemical mess in the body. I think I will have more questions down the way. It's nice to finally write and introduce myself to you!
  20. Hard to believe I have been taking Prozac for 23 years. History of depression, anxiety, and OCD. First diagnosed at 21, but remember being a sad child. I started tapering from 20 mg to 10 mg in January 2015. So far I'm doing pretty good. The anxiety has ramped up a bit but I'm able to manage it fairly well by using meditation, magnesium, herbs and kefir. For so long I've been afraid I couldn't cope with life without taking antidepressants. Then one day I decided being on Prozac for so long was probably not a good thing. It had lost most of its efficacy many years ago. I had gone through trials of switching to Zoloft for a short time then back to Prozac in order to recharge the antidepressant effect. That did work but the improvement didn't last very long. My hope is to someday be totally off Prozac, even if it takes years.
  21. Sycamore Hi there everyone! First of all, I want to thank the ones who made this forum, and all those who have posted – this is basically the only platform where those of us who want to quit these pills can get some understanding, information and knowledge, and this is so very important as the official information from doctors and medical sites are downright denying the truth of what it means to come off these pills. In my case I discovered it a bit too late, five and a half years into withdrawal having suffered tremendously and I really wish I knew about it sooner- it could have made it easier to understand that these reactions was not me, but reactions from a wrecked nervous system. Oh well. I will attempt to tell my story: I was taken to a doctor after a suicide attempt at age 15. I had been severely depressed for more than a year, lost 10 kilos, lost my period and generally living in a heavy darkness that never seemed to lift. After I started, 60mg of Zoloft, I remember feeling a bit better, for about 8-10 months. However, after that I got worse. I developed severe anxiety; I had anxiety to begin with, mostly panic attacks but after starting the pill I believe it got worse I got agitated, fidgety, and very nervous, and my depression also came back so the doctor increased the Zoloft up to 200 mg. Then I started getting hallucinations. The doctor put me on antipsychotics: 800 mg of Seroquel and 100 mg of Solian, as well as reducing the Zoloft to 100 mg. She did tell me, before I left her office, that my symptoms could be a reaction to Zoloft. In hindsight, I think that is exactly what it was. However, I was already deep in medication, and trusting of the therapists’ methods, so I did not see it at the time – also, I was 17 and desperate. Anyway, after begging to quit the antipsychotics – I was drowsy and sluggish, couldn’t understand what people were saying to me, couldn’t concentrate on reading and I had to quit school because of this – and gained 30 kg as well. I stopped taking them after two years of being on them. Quitting cold turkey was not smart, but no doctor or therapist supported it – actually they threatened me with not getting any treatment if I refused to take them - so that’s what I had to do. I continued Zoloft, after some years I asked to switch to a different one, Fontex (fluoxetine). This one I tapered down extremely slowly – I think I spent about two years of cutting down little by little. I had previously tried to cut them and not managed because of the debilitating symptoms, so I understood that I had to ignore my doctor’s advice and go very slowly. In November 2015, after 10 years on antidepressants I took my final dose. I was, however not aware of the withdrawal phenomenon – I interpreted everything coming as my “real” condition surfacing. I suffered bone pain, electric jolts through my body, intense headaches, pain in the collarbone, anger, mood swings, pressure on the eyeballs and an anxiety worse than I could ever have imagined – I was constantly on the edge. Akathisia, rumination (I was spinning around past mistakes that kept me paralyzed and at the same time extremely agitated and unable to do anything – at one point I didn’t leave my house for 8 months), couldn’t sit down to concentrate on anything, deep, heavy depressions that never lifted (one lasted almost two years without windows) anhedonia, depersonalization, derealization and two years after quitting, I got hypomania, and then again two years after. At the time I thought I had bipolar disorder, but after having read that mania is a symptom of withdrawal, I am thinking that maybe that was it. I don’t know. I have been working with meditation for three years which has helped a great deal. Only now, after five years, have the intense debilitating anxiety somewhat lifted, and I can at least do simple things like take walks and do shopping etc. Becoming aware of withdrawal gave me a new perspective on myself and my condition, and made it easier to treat myself with some patience and love, and of course, get some bloody hope. So a big thank you to everyone on this forum!
  22. Hi all. Please help woth some advice. I took a total of 16 20mg pills of Prozac in the course of 1 month for some moderate anxiety - thinking it is an innocent happy pill (10mg/day,then several days with 20mg,then 10 every other day). The first 2 weeks - my symptoms were increased anxiety, up to a level I have never experienced. Then complete insomnia followed. I was so agitated that I could not do a Lego toy/watch a movie. Then a period of apathy followed, with no anxiety. I was still driving/talking to people,eating etc. I am now 2 months after stopping the Prozac. First month: I have experienced muscle twitches ( ocular, jerking while trying to fall asleep, biting my tongue, lower jaw tremor ). Anxiety returned very intense. Depressive feelings - never had them. Emotional instability. Insomnia - 2-3 hours per night. Light head, hard to concentrate. Hard to take care of myself - shopping etc. Started cognitive behavioral therapy. Yoga. Meditation. Month 2: Muscle issues have diminished. Some sleep is back - but agitated. Obsessive reading about my issue occupies most of my time. Emotional instability remains. Anxiety. Depression. Trouble to concentrate. Still hard to take care of myself. Cannot work. Lost ability to meditate. Food appetite is affected. I am terrifed that I have ruined my health and life doing a stupid test with a pill I never needed. Where to now? Thanks, Adrian
  23. Hi i wanted to ask if anyone in here experienced extreme fatigue ? All day I feel so tired and the only activity I can manage is an hour walk but even through walking I feel very weak.. the mornings are the worst when I wake up after 10 hrs sleep I have no energy my body just lies in bed but have absolutely no energy did anyone experienced something similar ? Thank you in advance
  24. Lzieb

    Lzieb: Zoloft 25mg 6 days

    I took Zoloft for 6 days at 25mg. Been off 21 days today. I have had mild to severe symptoms but I don't want to go through months or years of this if there is a better/smarter way. The last three days have been really hard for me and so I want to at least try reinstatement of fluxotine at a smaller dose. I need help. I have 10mg of fluxotine and I figured I can do a switch from Zoloft to fluxotine. I need help to know how to do this. Will this help if I had an adverse reaction to Zoloft? I read that if I take a small enough dose I will know if it will be effective. I'd like help and thoughts. If it's an adverse reaction that I did have, will reinstatement of another drug help? Thx
  25. Hello, my name is Ben from Germany, I am 26 years old. I stopped taking Fluoxetin 20mg After 4 weeks because of the immens problems with the medicine. I had stomache, brain and health problems, lost Libido and nearly no erection and lost feelings in my genitals. Now after 5 months off I still have so many Problems. I feel sick, have Brain/ thinking Problems and I am Always tired and have no power at all. I dont want to do anything... sad :( and I dont have any erection... its like if he‘s dead. So now I am wondering what could/ should I do? My girlfriend is really nice but I think she needs sex :( and I cant. Was the Cold turkey a bad decision? What would u recommend to me? Thanks for your answers, Ben (26)
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