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  1. Hi all, found this forum via google searches many a night on how to cope with withdrawals! Like many others on here and I am sure everywhere in the world, I started on on anti-depressant and it just spiraled into larger and larger doses then multiple meds and meds on top of that for side affects. So a general summary was that I went to the Dr around 14 years ago for depression. I was put on Cymbalta 30mg straight off the bat. The side affects were unpleasant but I don't recall specifics of what they were, just that I did NOT like how they made me feel and I stopped them cold turkey. Withdrawals for several months of course, though fairly mild with major brainzaps being the one I most remember. Somewhere along the way I then went onto Mirtazapine. 15, 30 and then up to 45mg over a short period of time, maybe a year or so ramping up? Basically a result of going to the Dr, saying that I wasn't feeling the best on these meds, so they just increased them. I stayed on 45mg for probably 5 years or thereabouts. During that time my personality changed a lot (on retrospection I see how much). I became anxious, paranoid, ALWAYS tired, I started having panic attacks, grumpy, short temper making me snap at people for little, and isolated myself a lot. This went on for years. Each time the Dr would just tell me 'its not a magic pill' and leave it at that. Along the way my marriage fell apart and I moved to a new city. To 'cope' with the enormous increase in anxiety and stress, Dr gave me Olanzapine.... I took maybe 3 doses ever, as that stuff turned me into a zombie. I found a new doctor who I discussed how I felt on Mirtazapine and was switched over to Effexor XR. Ramped up from 37.5 to 150mg in the space of a few months. Generally felt 'good' but then noticed side affects that were persistent, sexual side affects galore, my BP sky rocketed, and hey look my anxiety was still very much around and panic attacks were a semi frequent occurrence. Dr's response was to switch to Paxil - which resulted in a heightened state of anxiety and rolling panic for days until I stopped them completely. Went back onto Effexor, despite the side affects and stabilized. Mirtazipine was then added to the Effexor for 'californian rocket fuel' - still anxious, still having panic attacks.. My BP was now concerning my Dr so was given a Blood Pressure pill, which then became two sets of BP meds, then three. My Blood Pressure still stayed high. Propranolol was added on top to reduce the heart rate and stress on my heart in general. This year was the hardest, I was referred to a psychiatrist, who every 6 weeks would get me to start a different drug. So I went from Effexor to Pristiq 50, then 100mg, Pristiq + Mirt, then onto Pristiq plus Seroquel at night (which made my anger turn into rage), then over to Luvox and some Respiradone and Valium to 'help' with the panic. Luvox basically kept me in a state of permanent nausea for 5 or 6 weeks - the dose was also increased to 100mg. So I spent around 4 months going through a cycle of drug withdrawal and startup over and over. I couldn't cope with being nauseous and feeling awful ALL the time anymore. At which point I had my next appointment with my Psychiatrist who just told me to 'just take half a dose for a few days and then stop them'. I asked that just ceasing any and all anti-depressants after FOURTEEN YEARS on them sounds very dangerous, she just shrugged. So I cancelled any future appointments with that practice, and after much research decided to cross taper from Luvox over to 15mg Mirtazapine and taper down from there. I chose Mirtazapine for several reasons - one was it stopped that permanent nausea everyday from the Luvox immediately, two it was a med my brain and body knew well and would tolerate almost immediately (which it did) and three i knew precisely what I would feel and how it would change me. After around 4 weeks of brainzaps and mild gastro issues as my body cleaned the last of the mix of drugs out of my body, I started to work my way down on Mirtazapine. Have currently gone from 15 > 7.5 > 3.75 with 6 or so weeks between drops. I will stay here until I stabalise again. So far the steps down have been very mild and tolerable (brain zaps for a day or two then fine), so my body is tolerating the 50% drops ok. 10% is recommended here, but so far for me personally its been ok dropping at 50% each time and stabilizing. The only noticeable (and expected) WD would be insomnia. My sleep quality has really tanked. Though interestingly enough despite low doses of Mirt meant to INCREASE your sleepyness, it has had little affect at all. So thats where I am currently at. I'm taking supplements like Vit C, Fish Oil and Vit B in the mornings and the small dose of Mirt at night. From here, I may need to look at a compounding chemist to begin tapering more slowly on the lower dosages, as cutting a tablet into 8th's is getting very difficult, even with a pill cutter. So the methods of diluting in liquids or a compound chemist will be the plan for the taper slow down (if needed) from here and my goal of being drug free hopefully within the year the final target.
  2. Hi everyone, I’ve read this site for a number of months and I wanted to tell you all how helpful it has been. I’m a happily married father of two and I am starting down the path of weaning of Luvox. Here’s my med history: 2005- Post-college I was diagnosed by a GP as having Generalized Anxiety Disorder and a Panic Disorder. I took Lorazepam every evening for 3 years and didn’t do the research to understand how dangerous that was. I got off of them cold turkey and you can imagine how that went. 2008- After finally getting off Lorazepam, my GP prescribed me Zoloft, Cymbalata, Paxil, Buspar to no avail- I still had anxiety. I stumbled on Lexapro and 10 MG was a dream drug for me. 2016- In December 2016, I had a routine surgery go wrong and I lost > than a liter of blood and was on a ton of painkillers for 2 weeks. I didn’t wean properly and after taking Tramadol, I was diagnosed with Serotonin Syndrome. I snapped out of that after about a week. 2017- I noticed that after my surgery, Lexapro was no longer working. From January to March, I tried to increase my dosage from 10 MG to 15 MG but I simply couldn’t get it to help my anxiety. In late March I began taking Pristiq and gave that 8 weeks but I was still to anxious. From June to early July I tried Trintellix but that drug made me very, very depressed (new to me) and I immediately switched back to a Lexapro. I tried to Lexapro 10 MG from July to October and my anxiety disappeared. However, the physical side effects (GI, chest tightnesss, etc) were too much to handle. I felt awful. In late October until now I tried taking 25 MG, 50MG Luvox and 100 MG Luvox CR. All of them manage my anxiety but I feel physically awful...like my insides are melting. I had CT scans, an endoscopy and a whole host of blood work and it all came back fine. I even wore a heart monitor for 2 weeks and everything checked out. I took 100 MG Luvox CR for a week and had to drop back down to 50 MG due to the physical side effects. I’ve recently gone from 50 MG of Luvox down to 25 MG for a few weeks and I’m now at 18.75 MG. Mentally, I feel great. Physically, I feel terrible. Every single day around noon, my sides, stomach and chest start feeling so bad...like they’re in a vice. I’m taking a pre and probiotic as well as B Complex. I’ve started taking Luvox midday since the half-life is so short. I did the GeneSight test and Prozac was the worst drug for me, so there goes that as an option to switch to for weaning/tapering. I’d love to get some advice on where to go from here. The most frustrating thing for me is when people tell me that the body aches I’m having is anxiety; I’m not anxious mentally in the slightest so I think these problems are either med or withdrawal related. I desperately want want to feel physically better so I can be a good father, husband, employee and friend. Thanks to you all in advance.
  3. Hello, I was put on abilify this past summer and it helped my depression A LOT. I started noticing side effects and went fom 2mg to 1mg then from 1mg to 0.5mg. Abilify was causing low blood pressure, palpitations, and also interacting with the fluvoxamine I take. I really thought the drug was helping my head but destroying my body. I knew I had to stop taking it so I went from 0.5mg to 0. Immediately something was very wrong. My psychiatrist said it couldnt be from the abilify because I was on such a low dose. After my own google search I showed him that it was in fact the withdrawal causing my issues. This is te worst panic and anxiety I have ever felt, I am nauseas and have lost 10lbs, depressed isnt even the word, I am so disconnected from reality and dont even know who I am or what is going on, I can't focus, and feel completely alone. I have been researching every supplement out there and every psychiatrist who might have a magic answer. I am taking tiny pieces of xanax to survive but I am very afraid of using it long term. Its been almost 2 months since I stopped the abilify and I dont know how much longer I can live like this. The doctors want me to up my fluvoxamine intake largely because they dont undersstand that the hell I'm in is likely from abilify. Do I go back on abilify and taper off? I stopped at 0.5 which isnt even a lot. I really cant imagine taking that drug now knowing what it can do to someone. Do I just wait and pray to feel better? Do I go to the hospital? It feelts like I am holding on by a thread. I don't know when it will get better and life is passing me by. Looking forward to hearing from you all. 2002-2022 Fluvoxamine 2018-2022 Cymbalta 2018-2022 Vyvanse 2021-2022 Abilify 2022 Xanax, Klonopin -- Currently (May 2022): Stopped Abilify 0.5mg on 03/15/2022 Fluvoxamine 125mg and Xanax or Klonopin 0.5mg
  4. I was put on SSRIs when I was 10. Luvox (Fluvoxamine). I never got off them until adulthood. I guess I took it for granted that I needed them. I don't remember anyone ever suggesting that it could be anything but positive or maybe neutral. Really, I don't remember much of what I thought as a child. I grew much worse after that though people could say "that was going to happen anyway", as they do. I have traced a few severe blowups (that had fairly life-altering consequences) to medication changes around that time. My adolescence was the gradual end of any sort of comfort in and control over my own mind. But again, don't these changes sounds similar enough to normal adolescent development that they are very easily dismissed? I couldn't really explain how or why it was any different. That my stress was not of the normal variety. That my mind working worse wasn't simply due to the stress. Even as I made some headway on issues I had, things seemed to get harder. I suspected the level of anxiousness I was feeling wasn't normal. I think my whole system was in a state of hyper arousal. I had intrusive thoughts. Strange patterns of thinking. Positive emotions were blunted. Negative emotions were excruciating. I always felt unsafe because I could sense that my mind and my body had become clumsy and bad at assessing, reacting, defending. I found no pleasure in doing things or accomplishing what little I could. Grew increasingly confused. Increasingly demoralized and demotivated because the good feelings that I felt should have followed from certain pleasures and victories now felt hollow. I have a memory of walking somewhere around my neighborhood around 18 and being horrified that nothing looked real. It was like I was looking at inert paintings. This examples of derealization was just one of many terrifying, confusing experiences I was subjected to throughout my adolescence as the older adults I turned to dismissed and demeaned and blamed me for something they either directly inflicted on me or that was inflicted with their participation and complicity. I was beginning to hope in 2016 because I realized my mental state had begun to improve by leaps and bounds after my emotionally abusive brother moved away and I had less exposure to him. I could still not function though. I was slow to do things. Couldn't figure things out. Had no one who understood. I decided to gamble with coming off my meds. "If anything bad happens I can always just go back on them." I gradually lowered the doses of Wellbutrin and then Prozac over 2-3 months. It felt like nothing really changed. Then 3 months after stopping Prozac, I started to become extremely irritable and angry. Losing it and throwing things. I thought I will go back on. And I think, that was the end. My head felt like it exploded. If I thought I had trouble thinking before, it was nothing compared to what I experienced after taking the next pill. I could not sit still and be calm and think. I turned to my GP who vaguely said I should go back on and would resume to a stable state eventually. So I raised the doses, fighting through an excrucating battle because I believed at the end of the road was some bit of safety. For a year, I tormented myself for not only nothing but with the consequence of leaving myself much worse off. By the time I came off again in 2018, I knew I should be doing a slow taper. But I could not figure out anything complex myself. I could not do anything requiring fine motor skills or thinking. I thought if I didn't do it then, I never would. By July 2018, I had come off them both again. Weaning by weeks at a dose though I knew this wasn't enough. I hoped that I would just have to fight through irritability again. Maybe this time, it wouldn't be so bad since I knew it was coming. In some ways, that was true. But I didn't realize how bad it could get. I didn't realize I wouldn't be able to speak or stand up or walk or that every second would feel like an eternity or that I would never have a moment's peace or pleasure or hope. And I didn't know that after suffering through torment for years, I would be left in a state that feels, if not quite as tormenting, just as hopeless. A life devoid of pleasure or meaning. A life where every pathway to anything better is cut off. My food sensitivities developed at 6 months cessation the 2nd withdrawal (around January 2019). At least that's when they hit that I noticed. They'd probably been in the works for a long time before that. Really, even before I'd come off my meds, I think. I ate very little. The few people who saw me said they worried I would die of starvation. I wish I had. Eating most food made the constant pulsating inside shake me violently. And since 99% of the time I had to be lying down, it was not bearable. They also worsened intrusive thoughts and thought patterns which seemed very much like the beginnings of psychosis. I guessed from something I read here that I'd developed a histamine intolerance and it was a a bit easier to manage. Apples were the only thing that helped but it was only local (from this province) and even they were not a guarantee. Ones that didn't work actually made me worse even that other types of foods. An apple from an otherwise good lot that had its skin broken somewhere (those very tiny nicks you see on some) was a bad one and would make me worse. I always hoped to get good ones but rarely did. Much of the worst of my withdrawal, then and now is inextricably linked to my environment: an impossibly disorderly old house mess spilling everywhere and nowhere sanitary to put anything. This not only exacerbated chemical sensitivities which exploded in withdrawal but made me have daily meltdowns because of what as been diagnosed as 'obsessive compulsive disorder" and hyperarousal. If this was extremely distressing and soul-killing before, now in withdrawal it felt more like perpetual sexual violation. I lay in bed with labored breathing, chest pulsating heavily in a way I can't describe. A hurricane of intrusive thoughts in a brain that felt like it had shrunk to the size of a tiny crawlspace so that these thoughts would ricochet around endlessly. I tried to attempt meditation many times but it didn't help. Why would it? One of the first things you're told to do is find a comfortable space. Somewhere you feel relaxed. You might as well tell someone to practice beginner mediation in a mosh pit. In fact, trying to meditate seemed to agitate mental symptoms and worsen awareness of the physical ones. Perhaps if I was already experienced it would have been different. But I wasn't. By the time, my CNS had calmed down enough to try do anything about it again even slightly disturbing certain things would now trigger dust/mold being raised and would cause unbearable feelings. I can't really properly explain the extent to which every single process has been affected. How little I do. Am able to do. How much I've needed to further shut down my brain to deal with worrying about inevitable problems that crop up. My thinking in a calm, clean environment would probably be pretty screwed up still but if I'd had that, I probably would have been able to function and my withdrawal probably wouldn't have been hellish. One of the most important things in withdrawal is to not overstimulate your CNS. For me, the bombardment never stopped. And there was nothing I could do. Thoughts (and occasional attempts) at explaining and asking for help did little good. I was also terrified (and still am) that I would be put somewhere I might be forced to take more psychiatric medications. I even wonder if I could be coerced into it. My mind feels very loose and easy to knock over. Scared. I think it would possible that I could be bullied and shamed into thinking my entire interpretation of events had been wrong and acquiesce to more meds. Especially if I was in an even more helpless position than I am now. I am constantly tired. I can't plan and organize. I don't have a routine. I can barely make food (making healthy food that requires multiple steps is pretty much out of the question). My brain has a lot of trouble with managing different trains of thoughts and things. When I try, it triggers panic, anxiety and this exacerbates physical sensations which lead to more panic/anixety. I know my clothes often make me feel worse if they bits of dust on them. I don't know if that is because the dust in this old house carries mold spores and whatnot or it's just any dust. I also react to scents from almost anything. I've seen this is apparently called Multiple Chemical Sensitivity disorder which barely seems to be taken any more seriously than PAWS. I want to wash my clothes but the steps to doing that often just levae my brain in knots trying to think of how to position myself, move things without surfaces to put things on, keep them from getting more dust on them. And doing it leaves me exhausted. On many days, I'm too tired to even consider it. When I try to think of doing certain things, it's like my brain is being compressed and pinched and stretched. I can feel it in my face muscles and neck. It's torturous and if I push far enough it doesn't help me to do anything. I just lose it and start screaming. I want to ask for help but I know that any help rendered, I would need to explain or at least come up with some lie. I don't know how to do either. How can I say: it is likely pointless to even ask doctors about this because they deny it? How can I say: I have to decide between being cold or not wearing my coat or sweater today because whatever invisible little bits of grime that got on it make my chest feel clenched and my mind go stiff and inflexible in ways that prevents me from thinking and making decisions? I can't even sit in the living room because mold was released from an AC 2 years ago and I can't tolerate the air. I want to find out which air purifiers to get but my brain reels and shuts down trying to figure it out. Thinking about having to get them together to send them back. Figuring out where to put them. It's not the unpleasantness of the process but the fear that the process will bring everything to a screeching halt and there will be even less hope. My mother has barely held together and took care of me but she is older and been slowly collapsing. When I could finally more-or-less manage on my own (getting my own food, ordering groceries, paying bills) she stopped doing anything. I get her books and her meds and she reads and comes out to go the bathroom and make tv dinners. She had already been having emotional battles with my brother for decades before this and I had become her main source of emotional support. She lost this, faced years more of torment and also heard me say (very directly and unkindly things) terrible things when I had meltdowns. Her movement and life is restricted because I am here. She is worried about doing anything that will harm me. We switched rooms because the air in mind stopped me even from sleeping. The house is falling apart. I don't think there is any good future for either of us. I have thought of doing something to land myself in jail or psychiatric care despite the certain torture of forced meds though but think that likely I would just end up there for a time, be left worse off and then in my weakness and with a further damaged brain come back home and I know she would let me. Then I would be back to square 1 and maybe in a more volatile condition that could actually be dangerous. I have feared I would be violent many times. Both because I have so absorbed the idea that I was a bad person and didn't know what I was or wasn't capable of and because I had no idea what may be possible with the brain damage I have suffered. Suicide would solve that but leave her with terrible grief. She would be able to live at least in some manner though I suppose she might no longer want to. Reaching out to somewhere or other for some kind of help means, to me, an army of condescending, reality-denying people to whom I expose my pain and vulnerabilities after all my strength has already been drained. In all my years of experience, I know mostly people do not help. At least they haven't helped me. Maybe it works better when no one's story veers too off-script from what they know. I have thought sometimes of reinstatement. I've also thought maybe the one (I think it's an SSRI) that is suppose to calm that CNS for some people. Much of what I try to think or do is sort of violently cut down even before the thought emerges. I'm always pulled this way and that. But it goes beyond mental and I feel it in a physical way and there is unbelievable force that I can't describe. Every time I'd try to write this, I would stop because of this. I would not know what I was saying, not know the importance, be concerned with the order, the meaning and interpretation, what I was conveying, etc. Things converge into a traffic crash in my head and half thought and action. I don't have postitive thoughts about recovery. It seems usually it is people who were only on for a few years at most. People who began taking them in adulthood. People whose lives and basic functioning as human beings weren't as completely wrecked for their entire lives. I don't really feel entirely good about posting now. But it's been almost 3 years now. I might as well post something. Thank you for reading. I feel embarrassed and disspirited that I won't probably be able to absorb and implement any advice.
  5. Hello all. I was directed here by another member who shared a unfortunately similar experience. At this point, I have exhausted many, many attempts to find a psychiatrist or doctor of any kind who understands SSRI withdrawal. (Or doctor at all given the huge waits from Covid, politics, etc.) I can't even find a psychologist at this point despite literally sending out bulk emails. This has been soul-crushing for me because I need help. I'm desperate and afraid. I have things happening to my body that scare me and make me feel like I'm going to die, or worse, that mental health will get so bad it makes me want to die. I feel like I'm going crazy and would really, really appreciate some guidance and advice because I've taken all the traditional paths and they're not getting me anywhere but frustrated. I'll post my timeline but this is the short version: In September I started having severe symptoms from the Luvox I had been taking for a few years for OCD. (100mg, but it has wavered in dosages through the years.) It got so bad the ER told me I have seratonin syndrome, which I to this day don't know is true or not. Around this time, I was also being given hormone replacement and taken off, as well as a bad experience with THC from a CBD gummy my friend gave me and assured me I wouldn't have any reaction. I did, and my anxiety went through the roof. Basically all the side effects from my Luvox were coming out stronger and I was feeling worse, so I decided to get off of them. Because I seem to have more of a medication intolerance and side effects from literally every drug I take, my goal is to get off my meds all together, but open to new possibilities in the short-term. My psychiatrist wanted me to do a 3-4 week taper down from 100mg which...didn't even register because I knew it wasn't going to happen. I had been properly weaned off small doses of benzos last year and did 'ok'-ish-SSRI withdrawal is definitely worse for me. I'm down to 25 mg of Luvox as of today 12/21/2021. I've been at 25mg for about two weeks because I want to be done and Luvox has been causing me severe migraines. The pain and suffering happens when I'm on it or not, and I think I've kindled myself in the past and gotten really bad results. But now I'm at a point where i'm miserable. I had constant fear and panic attacks, derealization, depersonalization, painful and limiting muscle tension where it feels like my muscles and nerves are being ripped, temperature fluctuations, bouts of rage and crying, akathisia/adrenaline dumps (this is the worst and makes me want to die). I mentally feel out of it, like my not myself or connected and feel like I'm constantly drugged or drunk when I'm actually getting off meds. I only got brain zaps once or twice, and my withdrawal doesn't seem completely like a lot of others, which makes me wonder if something else is wrong and scares me. It seems like mine manifests more mentally and in my muscles. I was already struggling and then a few days ago I had trigger point injections where they mixed it with a steroid and it literally spun my life out of control. I felt almost psychotic and sat sobbing in the doctors office, going out of my mind (but still aware of what was going on, talking, etc.) It was one of the worst feelings I've ever had and my enite body was convulsing with the effect of the stimulant and fear. I think this experience, along with the steroid in my system, reset my system to a new "high alert" and the last few dayshave been unbearable and I've wanted to kill myself. I guess I want to know what I should do. Should I grit my teeth and bear down and know this will fade? Will it fade or will I be like this forever? I really don't want to start another SSRI or another drug, or reinstate because the side effects from these meds are only slightly better than the withdrawal and I don't want to create a kindling effect. Please help me. I don't want to die, and even more so, I don't want to lose my mind. I've considered committing myself but I really feel that would be a horrible idea given the facilities, how they treat people, and that they don't understand SSRI withdrawal and the complications. I think I would get drugs shoved down my throat and have to start over. (I went to the crisis center/healthcare here when I started, begging for help, and they dismissed me, saying SSRI withdrawal wasn't that bad and would last a week or so.) As of right now, I've been using super low doses of Xanax (0.125mg, broken up tablets) just to get through. I also occasionally take Maxalt for migraines but it sort of makes everything worse so I'm tryin to avoid it. I tried one tiny dose (8 mg) of Lyrica tonight for the akathisia and I felt like I was so drugged I could barely think straight and all my muscles were twitching//moving, which gave me more anxiety, so that's out. I have severe medication intolerance/sensitivity since being on SSRIS and dealing with extreme anxiety. I also had bypass (same as weight lost reduction but I had it for severe acid reflux) and now any medications hit me fast and hard instead of being disbursed evenly. I've made many phone calls to doctors and surgeons about this and no one is of any help. I just need reassurance and suggestions. Please help me, and thank you. I know this tapering schedule is too fast but I was terrified, told I had serotonin syndrome and no one would help me. I didn't find any resources until later. Timeline (to the best of my ability, there's been so much of it): 1. 100mg Luvox started in 2015. 2. Put on Xanax 1mg as needed in 2018. 3. Put on Pristiq (Began and ended within 3 weeks in 2018) 3. Put on Gabapentin in 2018 4. Put on Lyrica in 2018. 5. Between 2019-2020 I weaned off all meds. I dont recall dates but my benzo reduction took place over a course of 6 months with various other benzos used like valium. This is all a blur. 6. Psychiatrist kept changing my dosage of Luvox, where in 2020 we went up to 300mg and then down to 200, 150, and stayed at 100mg for about a year. 7. 2021, psych had me trying different levels of Luvox 125-150 around my period for PMDD. Didn't go well. 8. Had severe reaction to Luvox and/or withdrawal from going back down. Then started having a severe reaction to Luvox in general so had to wean off. The psychiatrist had me scheduled to be off in 4 weeks due to fear of Serotonin Syndrome but couldn't do that. I still went fairly fast and at different levels for a couple of weeks because I didn't know what I was doing. 9. Up and down dosages the last few weeks in September due to ignorance and lack of doctor availability, and then the rapidness due to trying to figure it out on my own despite my doctor wanting me to go faster. 10. October 3-8: 75mg (played with various doses through the day, splitting them up, etc. No guidance and I know this wasn't good). 11. October 9-18: 50mg 12. October 20-29: 37.5mg 13: October 30-Nov 1: 25mg 14. November 2-November 19: Back to 37.5mg 15. November 20-December 4: 31.25mg 16. December 4-December 21: 25mg What do I do to make this better?
  6. Hello I will give a brief summary of what has happened after taking most recent drugs. I am a 21 yr old college student, low-income and person of color who recently had to drop their studies (September) due to what I think is OCD and quit their job (November) due to never before experienced debilitating and frightening symptoms. These began after stopping Luvox 50 mg and Prozac 20 mg. I have never been warned or informed or properly tapered off any psychotropic drug by any psychiatrists I have seen including the one (due to insurance I can only speak with him once a month) who prescribed me the last four recent drugs. I was unfortunately very naive in my decisions surrounding these drugs. For clarity: I was being treated for "depression" and anxiety. Started at age 17. My signature is copied off records of prescription dates. For the most part I did not take pills regularly, I remember last year organizing my room and seeing that I had bottles full of pills I never took. A lot of prescriptions were what the psychiatrists called trial and error, so I was trying pills to see their effects which were miss which made me realize they were making me sick so I stopped. I unfortunately cannot remember which ones I did take consistently prior to this year (2021). Up until summer I was taking propranolol as needed for anxiety/stress (it had been I think ~1 yr more or less since I had taken any drug). During the summer I needed and wanted guidance to cope with anxiety/stress in the form of therapy. Through my insurance I emailed and left calls for many people but did not get responses and was getting discouraged. I was so desperate for relief that I was prescribed buspirone 10 mg, which did initially provide a calming relief. In the beginning of September 2021, I was overwhelmed with work and inability to properly cope with my internal problems which was taking a toll on my studies. *Here is where details become very blurry. I let the current psychiatrist know and he prescribed me Fluvoxamine 50 mg. The first two times I took it in the evening and found that it made me restless, it did not let me sleep. So I switched to taking it in the mornings and cut it in half; it still made me restless and I would be very sleepy during the day. I let the psychiatrist know and he told me to switch to Prozac 20 mg. I took it once it the morning before work and the restlessness was awful, I could not sleep at all. Note: I do remember taking advil pm and even buspirone alongside the fluvoxamine at the same time to abate the restlessness. I ceased all medications and after that and since then I have been experiencing things I have never experienced before. -acute short-term memory loss and other gaps in memory* -frightening confusion* -cognitive problems* -weird thinking and feelings I do not know the words to describe* -vision problems (after-image, visual snow/static, visual distortion, stars in vision)* -loss of personality and identity* -head ache/pain/pressure mostly* (this has been consistent, I remember waking up one day before work in October to a sharp pain only in the right side of my head, then afterwards feeling pressure localized around only the right side of my head/eye, and now a bit of the top of my head) -slipping in and out of consciousness when closing my eyes* -dpdr* -auditory problems (cannot focus on what I'm listening)* -feeling stuck in my head* -intrusive thoughts like never before* -hypnagogia -disorientation -delirium -coordination and balance problems -fear and dread -lack of motivation -bizzare dreams -heart/chest pain -dreadful anxiety for no reason -severe depression/anhedonia (I have never in my life experienced actual depression)* -crying so much There are more but I cannot remember right now. The ones with asterisks are the most concerning for me. Everything came on so suddenly and abruptly and unprecedentedly. I am so afraid that I am developing a more serious mental illness and that I will have to take more drugs which I do not want. I have no support system, my family is busy and other people I know are as well. The psychiatrist doesn't think the drugs did anything. With what strength I have, I was able to schedule a neurologist appointment and will be getting studies done. I feel that I am wasting their time. I think deep down I want this to be something physical that can be cured. Which I know is wishful and doesn't serve me good. I am trying my best to not let my fear get to me but I am constantly reminded of my decisions. I am beyond heartbroken, this is not who I am. I am a spirited and passionate person, I do not know what to do as I wait for answers.
  7. Hello. I have suffered from anxiety depresssion, mostly severe anxiety, since 2011. I took a lot of antidepressants and usually had a lot of side effects so a have never had a remission. Now i take fluvoxamine and olanzapine. I still feel anxiety and apathy with fatigue connected to my symptoms, so i want to stop taking fluvoxamine. I really need help what to do. Is it fine to smoothly stop taking pills if have symptoms of anxiety or not? Sorry for my English, it is not my native laguage. thank you so much for attention.
  8. Hi, I'm Sandy. I've been on Luvox for about 3 plus years. I was put on it by my family doctor to help decrease cortisol that I produced in abundance when I was stressed. Cortisol makes my muscles very tight, and in turn causes me to suffer from arrhythmias. I was on 200 mg of Luvox divided into three doses per day, 50 mg at 5 am, 50 mg at 1 pm and 100 mg at 9 pm. My circumstances changed, and I felt that I didn't need the Luvox to help with cortisol control. I started reducing my dosage each week by 25 mg. My last dose was 3 1/2 days ago. I've ordered an Apollo Neuro to reduce the cortisol without medication. I was expecting withdrawal symptoms, but am looking for help in dealing with them. I am feeling dizzy and nauseous. Any tips or suggestions are very welcome. I do have a script for Lorazepam, which I take if my heart starts to act up. Lorazepam is a great muscle relaxer :), but I only take it on as "as needed" basis, which is very infrequently. Thanks, Sandy
  9. Hi, I've yet to do my full signature story, but need to ask this quickly as I'm worried I'm in a time race here. Is it possible I've not been on Mirtazapine long enough to need to do a slow taper? Roughly three and a half weeks on 15 mg - was on 30 for four days last week but cut back down to 15 the last 3 days. Do I move fast now to get off it before it takes hold in my brain or is it too late and best to go slow? Thank you.
  10. Hello everyone! First of all I’m sorry if there will be some errors but english is not my first language. Hope I’ll be good enough explaining myself. I’m a 32 years old guy and my troubles started many years ago, during my teens. When I was 15 i had my first panic attack and my life had really messed up since then. The first psychiatrist i saw immediately prescribed me paroxetine, without telling me that I could start a psychotherapy first. So I started it and after about 15 years I’m still on AD and I feel very miserable. I’ll summarize as best as i can remember my drug’s history in my signature (it’s been long time and my long term memory is not at his best unfortunately…) After so many AD and doctors switches, I’m currently on 100mg fluvoxamine. Psychiatrists made me do so many mistakes during the years that now i really don’t know what symptom is “mine” and what is caused by the medicines. As I said, I initially started paroxetine for panic attack but now I have symptoms way much worst. Everytime i was about to get my AD off (way too fast I realize now) i started to get very sick. Brain and body zips, feeling of anguish (which is not anxiety but something more deep and scary. It’s a never ending meaningless feeling with the fear that life is not going to be good no more. To make it clearer: do you know harry potter’s dementors? It’s like a dementor’s kiss), no appetite, nausea, vertigo, insomnia, depression. The scariest part is that some of these feeling, even though are weaker when I’m on AD, are still present since the first time i felt it. I’m really, really scared. I KNOW that I’m not depressed, like i feel that all the symptoms are not really mine, i can’t explain better. I really want to enjoy life and i feel lot of energy inside me. However, i feel at same time tired and scared. Feel like I’m in trap and i don’t know what to do. Worst sensation is this bubble-feeling: when my anxiety is high I feel like i was in a bubble. Everything is numb, confused. It’s like to be drunk, detached. My fear is that I’m irreparably damaged and that i never can’t be fine. I recently called a centre whose doctors seem aware of AD withdrawal symptoms and after the assessment i will know what to do. In the meantime I’m really scared. When I didn’t know that all my new symptoms were caused by the drugs tapering and i thought it was me (I see a psychotherapist regularly for 10 years. Trust me: my symptoms are not matching and explained with my story) i felt that i had power in some way. If it was some emotional problem - I though - i know that i could do something about it. Now that I’m aware that YEARS of bad AD’s management made me feel like this, I’m totally frightened and the anxiety and obsessive thoughts (“what if it will never end?”, “what if i’m hopeless?”, “what if i’ve been on drugs so many years and now it’s too late?”) make all this even worse. I think I’ve been traumatized since the first time I experienced withdrawal symptoms. Now, everytime I start to feel some symptom that is in some way closed to them, I start to get really scared and those obsessive thoughts fill my mind. I don’t want to experience that days once more. I’m not even sure if a have a question for you. Maybe i just want other people, struggling with this who can understand me, to be close to me. I know this could sound stupid and childish, but is this going to end? Are 15 years on AD too much to have some hope to be ok? Thank you a lot. I mean it.
  11. Hello everyone. I'm glad to have joined the community. I have suffered from depression for many years, most of which I have been on SSRIs. I have tried to go on without them on several occasions without success. This time I have been on venlafaxine for around 1.5 years. Started on 150mg and have gradually come down to 37.5mg. I know very well how it feels to reduce the medication or come off from it. Lately I am trying breathing techniques that induce vagus nerve stimulation and -less frequently- meditation, this seems to help considerably, but I still have not managed to turn it into a strong habit. I am also becoming acquainted with the relationship between the digestive systems, eating habits and mood disorders. I hope to provide my little grain of sand to the community by sharing experiences and thoughts and also learn from different views. Best wishes, Jose
  12. Hi there, I'm new to the forum and wanted to say hi. I've been on Fluvoxamine for 16 years. I've also been on lots of other medication due to a traumatic event that happened a few years ago which caused a lot of stress. So I've been on benzos, migraine blockers, vertigo tablets, other antidepressants / anxiety tablets, etc. However currently I'm only on Fluvoxamine and trying to get off it. I was in hospital for the recent taper and felt okay during it, however since I've gotten out I've had extreme headaches, vertigo, lethargy, sore eyes and irritability. This makes me think the taper was way too quick and am so grateful to find this forum. I was due to go back into hospital this week to taper from 50mg to 0mg however I've decided to cancel that after reading the information on this site. I'll wait for the current side effects to subside before considering any further drop. Very grateful for all the good information here!
  13. Hey all, have been lurking for a couple weeks and am in a pretty rough place as to withdrawals. had recently been on fluvoxamine for a long time, roughly 3 years on and off. Managed to quit around March this year with no discernible side effects. Feeling relatively good, OCD(reason I had been taking drugs) was up and down, but life was good. Family was unaware I had stopped, kept telling them I was taking the dosage even when I wasn’t. One family me ever was insistent that it was the be all end all and that I need to take the medication. To this day I am so angry at the glorification they have it, they are in my opinion a detriment to society. Anyway, after an ocd outburst one night, said family member told me they were not going to leave the house until they had witnessed me take it every night. I was adamant to not take it as I knew how it stifled sexuality and caused numbness. One day just so they would stop nagging me I foolishly took a whole 300 mg dose. As soon as that happened I felt an unease as if I had done something horribly wrong. Fast forward the next couple weeks, had stomach cramps at night, difficulty sleeping, but nothing too bad. Then on August 15, I realised I had completely numb in my penis area, there was no arousal and No libido. The 3 weeks since then have gradually gotten worse. In addition to what I believe is PSSD, I have had this strange unexplainable feeling of discomfort in my upper back, as if it’s impossible to relax. Insomnia has been terrible, literally waking up every 20 minutes or so to the point of waking up 15-20 seperate times a night. Extremely dry body, no relief from taking a shower after waking up. No motivation to do anything except eat and lie in bed. It’s been 5 weeks since that dose, and am thinking of reinstating to a lower dose of fluvoxamine just to counteract some symptoms, but scared of making PSSD even worse. Should I reinstate now and then hold for a bit, I read all the withdrawal and reinstatement info already but would like some personal advice. been to gp, urologist, of course they do not think an antidepressant from one day could have caused all this. please need some help, thanks
  14. Hi everyone! Im really thankful I came across this support group. Although I wish I came across it sooner :/. Anyway here is a brief history: 150mg fluvoxamine for 5 yearsDoctor had me taper off in 1 monthExperienced WD and reinstated Fluvoxamine after 6 weeksTried to slowly taper over 7 months and ended up switching to Effexor 75mg xr. Now I am on 37.5mg xr of Effexor for 1 month with still experiencing severe Emotional numbness, anhedonia, and pain/pressure, and low sex drive. Please help... Idk if I should increase dosage/ switch medication until the WD symptoms go away and then slowly taper? What have yall found to be the best tactic? The WD symptoms that Im experiencing right now did not go away when I reinstated Fluvoxamine and got a little better when I switched to Effexor 75mg. I love you guys, keep up the great work!
  15. (MOD NOTE: this post was moved from another area of the site after the member's Intro topic was responded to) Struggling ..dont know is it a relapse or withdrawal I am from india.now i am in a confusion whether it is a relapse or withdrawal...where to ask i dont know...my doctor is very compassionate and says that it is a relapse...but i feel it like a withdrawal...what to do?
  16. Hello, and many thanks to this website for being so informative! I only wish that I had known about this site a few years ago (or even a few months ago). Here is why - My 19 year old daughter is, I believe, now going through Bupropion withdrawal. It's hard to know for sure because a virus *could* be partly to blame. Either way, she is too out of it to be her own advocate right now so I am trying to learn as much s possible so that I can best help her. My daughter began taking Bupropion (150mg) in the summer of 2016 for pretty severe depression. In the winter of 2017, Fluvoxamine 100mg was added for OCD. Gabapentin (900mg per day) was added about 9 months ago for nervousness. During this time we moved and had to switch doctors. The new doctor changed her Bupropion to the 150mg XL (extended release) formula about 6 months ago. She was previously taking the 75mg SR version twice per day. It was soon after our move, which corresponded to the new doctor and new Bupropion formula, that my daughter's mental health seemed to take a downturn. In the past 4-5 months in particular she has stayed in bed most days with a low mood. She also started having a tremor in her hands and feelings of nausea off and on. I contacted her PCP in August this year to share my concern and was told it was probably a virus and that she would feel better soon...but she only got worse. A month later the nausea got so bad that she began vomiting all the time. After 5 days of this severe vomiting with no other viral symptoms, the doctors agreed to run tests. We found her ALT to be elevated, and this was concerning in regards to the Bupropion so it was agreed that she would stop taking the Bupropion. Her PCP recommended that she titer by half every 3 days. I thought that I was being cautious by making this a week instead of 3 days. Now, after a month, she is on 18.75mg every other day of the Bupropion SR. Her psychiatrist says she should be off it by now, but I have added this every other day titration at this point and I'm not sure where to go from here. The psychiatrist wants her off the Bupropion so that Lamictal can be started. I'm still not sure about starting another drug at this point! Anyway... To make things even more complicated, we tested her blood for the Epstein Barr Virus (EBV) and her result was borderline (technically they call it "equivocal"). She had mono (which is caused by the EBV) two years ago and got very, very sick then. The fatigue she is experiencing could be related...or not. It's hard to tell. Her PCP feels her fatigue is depression related. The psychiatrist thinks it could have something to do with the EBV. She will be re-tested for EBV next week. And to make things even MORE complicated, her psychiatrist said we should take her off the Gabapentin by reducing one 300mg pill per week. I hired another psychiatrist to oversee psychiatrist number 1 and he said that we could reduce the Gabapentin every 2 weeks but that he did not want to wait longer than that because he wants her to start the Lamictal. We took away one pill almost two weeks ago. Right now my daughter's main symptom is fatigue. She is in bed 90% of the time. She had to drop out of college this semester. She is also super depressed. She was having intense nightmares and sleepless nights these past few months, waking up each morning screaming, but that seems to have gotten a bit better (no waking up screaming the past few weeks). The good news is that her tremor is gone! She does get a little more agitated than normal as well. My daughter is currently taking fish oil (900mg/per meal) and vitamin D3 (5000IU/day) as supplements, and last night she took her first dose of Melatonin 0.3mg. She also takes birth control pills for PCOS. I believe that these pills might be behind her depression but at this point I don't want to jar her system further by removing/changing them. As soon as we can we will address this. My quandaries now are: - How to proceed with Bupropion (currently on 18.75mg every other day - doctor does not want her to reduce more because he wants her to start on Lamictal). - How to proceed with the Gabapentin (doctor says 1 pill per 2 week titer and I worry about this) - Do we give Lamictal a chance? Once she is stabilized, she will begin tapering the Fluvoxamine. We don't think it's really helping her. I now know that this needs to be done at 10% increments each month for years. We will think more about this when the time comes. For now I want to make sure that she is able to get through this Bupropion and Gabapentin withdrawal. If anyone here has any insight or knowledge to share then I would really appreciate it. Thank you, Snek (I chose this name because my daughter loves snakes and this is a cute word she uses for them - she does still smile when I show her pictures of cute snakes so I now love snakes too)
  17. I stopped fluvoxamine 2 months ago and started expiriencing sexual dysfunction so i went to my psychiatrist and he added bupropraon(wellbutrin).its been 4 days and i am not noticing any improvement.i need to know that my syptoms wont worsen as long as i am on ssri again
  18. Altostrata, I dropped my luvox 25mgs 3 days down to 0. I went to fast having bad withdrawals I am also on 50mg sertraline. Should I reinstate at 12.5. Thanks Lynn
  19. Hi everyone, I`m new here and for abroad with not very great English - so excuse me for any of my mistakes... I`m reducing my dose of Fevarin from 50 mg to 37,5 mg. It`s only third day right now. My question is if I can use any herbs and f.e. ginseng to help myself during this prosses? Can it go easier this way? Would it be safe?
  20. Happy Holidays! My name's Mike and I'm 40 and I've been taking SSRI's for OCD/anxiety/depression most of my adult life, save for between 2003 to 2009. Since 2009, after years of doing quite well, I crashed and ended up back on fluvoxamine. The drug seemed to help more in the beginning, but as time went on I've increasingly lamented my loss of libido and what I feel are very dampened emotions. Even on 25mg., my current dose, I'm still missing my full range of emotions and feelings. I've been tapering for about 9 months now: Under the care of a psychiatric nurse, I've slowly reduced my dose from 100mg. to my current dose. I went from 100 to 87.5, 87.5 to 75, 75 to 62.5, 62.5 to 50, 50 to 37.5, 37.5 to about 31, 31 to 25. Each time I reduced I would stay on the new dose for at least 2-4 weeks. I've been on 25 mg. for about 4 months now. After what was a very depressing and upsetting election cycle for me, I decided to put the brakes on the taper, but I plan to resume again after the holidays and new year. My next appt. is in mid Jan. So, all in all, the taper's gone pretty smoothly. After each reduction I would usually experience a little dizziness, sometimes digestive issues, lack of focus, etc. etc., but nothing truly debilitating. My psych. nurse made it sound like my dose is so low that I could just about get off, but I've heard all the horror stories and I want to take it really slowly. The question is how slow? Since the taper's gone relatively smoothly, can I continue reducing from 25 to 18.75, 18.75 to 12.5 etc. etc? Or should I slow it down even more to keep it within the standard 10 to 25% reduction rate, since the dose is lower now? I know these are issues I need to discuss with the nurse, but I always feel so rushed during the session, only having 15 minutes and all to discuss the state of my brain! Seems like it should be a little bit longer Anyway, sorry If I'm rambling, but I came here because I'm long overdue to meet some new brothers and sisters who understand how frustrating and upsetting it can be being on medication. I feel like I'm walking a tight rope here: there's a part of me that wants to be off the medication YESTERDAY and then there's the more rational side of myself that's trying to divvy up the patience to take it slowly and thereby improve my chances of successfully getting off this stuff. So, that's my little intro. Hope everybody is enjoying the holidays and is good spirits and health. I look forward to hearing any thoughts you may have on my situation or from anybody else who is on fluvoxamine or just anybody who wants to chat. Be well and take care! Mike BTW, I should also mention I take Klonopin .25mg., as needed, but very sparingly. Sometimes I take a couple doses a week and other times I'll go weeks without taking it. I treat benzos as a last resort when meditation, breathing, jogging, writing, etc. don't work. Thought I should mention all the psych. drugs I currently take. Take care!
  21. Admin note: link to benzo forum thread - Pattypan: Benzo Taper when it's only PRN Hello, I am new here. I have a diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive DIsorder- I have had this for as long as I can remember. I was first medicated for it ( in my teens) 20+ years ago. I was on and off meds throughout my teens/20's. In 2015- I had an OCD "episode" that scared me to death and back on medications I went. After a few trial and errors I was stable on Lexapro for 4.5 years. I recently took myself down from 30mg to 20mg ( over the course of 1 week- yes- i had headaches, involuntary movements and brain zaps). As of yesterday I tapered to 15mg. I am feeling pretty bad today... and I understand I should be decreasing by 10% but for some reason that seems unreasonable to me.... ( in the past I have successfully tapered off of prozac, wellbutrin, celexa, zoloft and don't recall any of those being notable- I DO remember tapering off of Luvox was terrible) Any supplements or advice you may have to ease these taper symptoms? My goal is to be completely off of Lexapro in 1 month. Too soon? also- No i am not involving my doctors in this decision or this taper... I just don't trust that they know enough in regards to how to taper and they wont respect my decision to taper. Thanks in advance!
  22. So this whole disaster started when I was in high school. I had been recently diagnosed with ADD, and was prescribed Retalin (a form of Adderall [for you Americans], and a sh*tty one at that). Before long I started having tachycardia, lack of appetite , I was jumpy and irritated and and was not fun at all. Now, the same neurologist, (as I believe he was) who prescribed me the drug, didn't not prepare me for all of this; the bastard didn't even scheduled a follow-up appointment or something, and didn't inform that there are other drugs at this family of drugs and if I develop any of the symptoms above to an unbearable extent I should just stop and switch to another drug. But as behooves an unprofessional and cynical bastard, he didn't bother. And so, in the midst of a Math test, junior high, I had my first panic attack🤙🤙 I, of course didn't have clue of what happened to me, I seriously thought I was going to faint and thought it was just a one time thing. But of course, life had more devious plans for me than that--next test I had another one. My mother, who suffers as well, understood what was unfolding immediately, but was reluctant to say and diagnose in fear of scaring me or just misdiagnosing. I decided to to get off Retalin, (I have been taking it for almost a month), but what a surprised--the panic attacks persisted. Not only that it persisted, it expanded--it now harried me in class and other places. Then, I was told, diagnosed and referred to specialist. I started CBT with an amazing young therapist and prescribed Citolpram with the starting safe-net of some Benzos. It worked wonders! But I was now another person, much more confident, too much confident to the point of insolent and aloof even. Nothing could distress me. Panic attacks were rare, and when they visited I have managed to reduce and level them out. I finished high school, and decided to fly to Berlin before my induction to the army, (a mandatory 3 years of service in Israel). And then, it's when I remember (it may have started before), that I started sleeping 3 hours a day every early afternoon. Plus waking up was a real pain in the ass. But nontheless, I thought it was normal, that I could stop sleeping everytime I command myself to it, and that everybody's morning looked like that. It took me 2 and a half years to realize that maybe I was wrong. Now the real whirlpool of disasters began. My psychiatrist, a new one, my second one, suggested that I try Milnacipran, I don't remember her thinking about it too much, her decision was very arbitrary. No gradual weaning off the Citolpram, just "take straight away after the old one". I was beset with hellish migraines! I then tried Prozac, Cypralex and fluvoxil, every one for 3 months or so. They all were the same as the other--the fatigue persisted, and they didn't cover the anxiety to a satisfying extent. The fatigue was worsening and I decided that first time in 5 years to wean off them. I stopped Flufoxil CT, of course I didn't know what it mean "Cold Turkey" at that time, because the new Psychiatrist I was seeing didn't believe it exists. The fatigue did go away, which was reassuring, but I was mentally unstable, and suffered from debilitating acute anxiety at night before sleep. This lasted for months without end. One profound anxiety attack of a different order of magnitude made me go back to a different psychiatrist. He prescribed me with Cymbalta. Now, ladies and gentlemen, the real orchestra of diabolic dissonance is about to play! This pill, I kid you not, upon the first day of taking it has killed my libido flat! Sugar was too much to bare and life was a big numb. After two weeks it got worse, I started having crippling migraines that last for 3 hours each and made me puke my soul on each one's end. On my 22th birthday, we went to the local lake, and I suffered such a extensive migraine that I remembered the thought that I wanted to be put to sleep, comatose, for at least a year. I was seriously considering it. I came off it as well, also with no gradual tapering off, and waited until I felt clean. Although I didn't, and it was worse than the cleanse. My mental state deteriorated and I was put on Brintellix, and was promised it was a new ground breaking drug that will solve all of my problems! Even take care of my ADD. I ended taking it for 4 months or so, upping the dosage this time, thinking maybe that some of the symptoms are from the previous pill, and they will pass either way. It ruined my stomach, and made acidic as hell. They didn't. This time, I was determined to cleanse off gradually as I have seen in some forums like this. I have started reading more on the internet and trusting less the institutionalized system of Pharmacology. I am now 4 months after my last pill of Brintellix, and there is no light in the end of the tunnel. I am experiencing a plethora of symptoms that doesn't seem to go away or even abate: my stomach acidic, my brain is foggy, I suffer from light migraines through out the day. I can't concentrate, and I have horrible fatigue attacks that can't be beaten by any amount of caffeine. I am not sharp as I used to be, I suffer from panic attacks and back pain. AND IT ALL GOES AWAY ONLY BY TAKING Lorazepam, but that makes a bit disoriented and tired as well. But only on benzos , my symptoms seriously abate and I am free to live. What should I do? I CAN'T WAIT YEARS ON END LIKE THIS, I need to earn a living and continue my life which has been on hold for 5 months or so. Should I come back on the pills? will it make the symptoms go away? I don't trust any pharmacological solution to get me out of the mud. I have lost hope, and I want to get my life on track. what should I do?
  23. hi i have take fevarin for 2 and half years and i have dismiss that instant and i was suffering from sleep mind full of thought bad humor ecc if you stop take antidepressant instantly you have some damage? or after the collateral effect pass the brain going in balance again? sorry bad english im italian
  24. mustangwoman

    mustangwoman: Hello

    Hi! I am also a pp refugee. I am a 30 something y o woman from Tennessee. I am a nurse, wife, and mother. I also have been fighting the good fight with withdrawal for several years. My signature tells the story. I am currentlydown to 10.9 mg of luvox, which is supposed to be equivalent to approx 2 mg of paxil. I am so glad this site exists, support is tremendously important during this. I have family that loves me and knows that I am going through this, but no one understands like those going through. So glad to see familiar faces, so to speak. So glad that I could keep my support family, and have more family to add as well!!!
  25. Hello everyone. Although I feel like maybe I'm not as bad as many many people here, I would still like to share my story, since I have been through some suffering lately. Hope I don't bother you. Tl;dr: When I reinstated Luvox I started having depression, terrible feelings of hopelessness, dread and doom, no joy in activities or life in general, lack of purpose or meaning in life, and no love for my boyfriend, which troubles me the most. I never had depression before. Wondering if it was the Luvox and starting to taper, but afraid... So it all began when I was 9 years old. I started having severe panic attacks and anxiety out of nowhere. Afraid to die, afraid my parents would die because they were older than "normal" (used to call my mom every 5 minutes to see if she was alive), afraid of death in general. After a while, I was seeing a psychiatrist for children and started taking Clomipramine, don't know the dosage, until I was 12. I don't remember much because it was 13 years ago, but I don't recall any problems with withdrawal. From that point until I was 21, everything was fine. I would ocasionally have shortness of breath and that kind of stuff, but completely manageable. I was always a very good student (my mom told me they had an IQ test or something and they said I was "gifted", but we never explored that so I don't think it's really important), I practised sports, I learned to play the piano, I always had a great social life, very active. Now, in 2013, when I was 21 years old, everything went downhill. I was in a relationship since 2011 and it was not a great one, we would fight a lot, he would always break up with me, changing is mind about loving me on a weekly basis, insulting me, saying nobody would like me if they really knew me, etc. This relationship lasted until 2015, mainly because of my inability to let it go, as I thought I could never be happy again without him. In 2013, I had a huge anxiety and panic attacks crisis. I was also diagnosed with ocd (obsessive thoughts with mental compulsions, have little to none physical ones). Started on Sertraline but rapidly stopped because I couldn't tolerate the dizziness and nausea and it would make me more anxious. They put me on Xanax for 3 months and I tapered it in one month. Spent two horrible days with insomnia and EXTREME anxiety, but after those two days, it all subsided. Two months later (February 2014) I was worse (panic attacks, dp/dr, etc) and was put on Luvox (fluvoxamine - 50mg). It was well tolerated, and it helped me for two years, but I noticed I would still have anxiety and the obsessive, I just wouldn't reach the point of a panic attack. About a year and a half in, I started taking 25mg and everything was ok. Now where it got worse. In April 2016 I started to taper it with the help of my psychiatrist (whom doesn't really talk to me for more than 5 or 10 minutes, doesn't believe Luvox made me gain 33 pounds in under a year, and told me it usually had no bad effects). He told me to start taking it every other day (the 25mg) for a week, then every two days for a week, then every three days, etc. At this point, my previous relationship was over for a year and I was starting a new one. When I was taking it every two days, I started having SEVERE DP/DR and PANIC ATTACKS. I was told to take the 25mg everyday. It didn't work and he told me to raise to 50mg. Well, the panic attacks have stopped but the worse came. Since I was back on 50mg, I started to feel unhappy. I have a great boyfriend now, who really supports me and cares about me, I am studying psychology with very good grades, so everything is fine I guess. But I started to feel disconnected and detached. I feel no joy, no happiness in activities I used to enjoy. I reduced my going out of home very very much, sometimes spending a week without leaving my house and bed. I find no purpose in life, no sense (mybe it is an existential crisis, used to have them but not to this extent). I sometimes feel very frustrated and cry from hopelessness. I don't know what to do. Somedays I don't feel anything at all. On new years I was downtown watching the fireworks and suddenly I felt detached and very nervous and had to go home. My boyfriend came with me and it was ok after a while. But I can't stop feeling sad and with no joy. And the WORST OF ALL, sometimes I don't feel love for my boyfriend I know I love him, I think I do, but I can't feel it. I used to feel love so so so deeply and it is so strange to me. I told this to my psychiatrist and he said it was normal with the antidepressant but there was no problem and I had to keep taking it and he told me I had depression because of the anxiety, ocd and panic attacks. But I feel I just got worse since I reinstated it. I never had depression before and I had this since I was 9... Do you think maybe it is the Luvox? I am thinking of finding another psychiatrist since mine says that withdrawal from antidepressants is not usual and it was my symptoms coming back. But i reinstated it and I just got worse and worse. I sometimes think of suicide, but not in a "I want to do it" kind of way, nor finding relief in it. On the contrary, I feel so hopeless and purposeless that I fear it might come the time that there is no other way and it really scares me, since one of my great fears is dying and ceasing to exist. I want to taper it but I am afraid I am broken already and I have no hope. I don't want to feel the terrible withdrawal symptoms but I can't take this anhedonia anymore. It makes me so, so sad. I also sleep for more than 12 hours a day and sometimes I don't even see the light of day. I just want to feel happy again, but I am afraid I have no hope at that, that I will be depressed forever. What do you think? Sorry for the long post, but I needed to talk to someone that might have experienced the same as I do. Thank you so much, hope you all feeling well on your journey.
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