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  1. What do you do when the people closest to you don't understand what you are going through? Or how the things they ask of you affect you? My wife fluctuates between being totally loving and supportive, to just not understanding what I am dealing with at all. For instance, she just texted me now (I'm at work, which is a whole level of suffering during withdrawal all its own, as most of you know). She wants me to stop on my way home at her sister's house to pick up some leftovers. But my commute - which is long and can have heavy traffic if I don;t time it perfectly - is one of my key stress triggers. So making a variation in it is filling me with dread. My heart is starting to race! Also, what if her sister wants to engage in conversation? Conversation is another stress trigger for me! And after I disappear only 2 hours into the family Easter party (due to huge anxiety), she's probably full of questions (we haven't really told her what's going on). I don't get it. One minute, my wife is the most sympathetic person in the world, but then she gets tunnel vision and thinks I should just deal. I can't say no to getting the food, because that could trigger an argument - talk about stress then! So what do you guys do when you are faced with people not understanding what you are going through? Is there a video we can show them? SJ
  2. Several months ago I started tapering off of lexapro. I have been on SSRI’s, off and on for a long time, so I expected to get a bit depressed and anxious. I told my 4 closest friends. I didn’t make a big deal of it, but I thought I was concise and to the point. Only one friend seemed to not want to talk about it, but, generally, I felt my friends were respectful and empathetic. The only thing I asked of them is to understand that I might not want to hang out with big large groups of people and that I cannot make definite plans to do anything this summer. My friends do not seem to understand the severity of my depression and it’s really hurting my feelings. I try to talk to one friend, but her solution seems to be to “just relax and have fun” and she will not discuss it any further. Normally, this would amuse me, but I am highly sensitive right now. I was talking to one of her friends about depression and anxiety and my friend actually told us to stop talking about negative things because we were at the beach, having a bbq. My friend ignores emotional suffering in her own life, so I understand that she is just not one of those people you can really talk to. She is able to distract herself from her own sadness and that works for her. It’s totally admirable, but because of this she cannot relate to my complete debilitation. Another friend seems to completely ignore the fact that I am going through this. She told me I have to come visit her, two states away, “no excuses”. she’s calling my anxiety and depression an excuse? She has been inviting me to do things constantly and I physically and mentally can’t, but she thinks I’m just lazy and unmotivated…or I’m lying? How the hell do I explain to the common person that a drug a “doctor” said would help me actually hurt me, without them thinking I am the cliché “mental patient” that is irrationally stopping my medication? How do I get people to understand that withdrawing from these drugs is dangerous and scary and serious? These are rhetorical questions. I don’t want to explain it, because I already did. I’m tired of feeling guilty for not being as involved in life as I would like to be. My friends are very supportive when I am who they want me to be. I am a very happy person, normally, I have anxiety and I’ve been sad, but I’ve always been able to joke about it and find solace in my friends. Things are more severe now, and my friends are making me feel bad. I decided three says ago that I can’t talk to anyone for a while. I cannot have a conversation when I am having suicidal thoughts. I cannot pretend to be happy to make others comfortable. Most importantly I am afraid of how sensitive I am and being and I do not want to take something my friends say the wrong way. People aren’t perfect. They are not always going to say the best things. I am not completely withdrawn. I really like people and I need them. I found a peer support group that I have been going to the past two weeks. It’s so relaxing and refreshing to be around people that understand and the people are super cool and nice. It’s not like I want to talk much about my depression. I just want to talk to people who understand and respect that I don’t feel well right now. I want to be with people that make me feel good. Is it bad to withdraw from friends when they end up making me feel bad and crazy and weak?
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