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  1. How it all started. November 2017 I was prescribed .5 mg of Klonopin to be taken once daily I do not have any pre existing anxiety or health issues. The "medicine" was given to me to help with some stress induced insomnia. Since then the stress that caused the insomnia has long been resolved. I was told this medication was a low dose, and it was perfectly safe, and could be taken nightly for up to 3 months without having any problems with dependency or addiction. Even though i told the doctor 11 years prior i had a bad withdrawel from Ativan that was prescribed to me after my mothers death. He said klonopin is much safer and easier to come off of. Also i took increasing doses of Ativan for close to a year... so of course it was hard to withdraw from... I took the Klonopin .5mg exactly as prescribed for about 10 to 12 days, and then for a week after I took half the dose .25 mg. Then i quit... Apparently I'm very sensitive to these types of medications and not biochemically compatible with them, because what happened over the next 8 days, I describe as increasing anxiety, insomnia, and irrational fear, that got to the point (8 days out) of having absolutely zero sleep the night before and feeling completely detaches from reality. Now i wish i would have realized what was happening and stuck it out, because I'd probably be 100% recovered by now. However, I ( like so many of us ) went running back to the doctor for help. I made an emergency appointment with my doc. He prescribed me a very high dose of Gabapentin and told me that its a great new medication used for benzo and alchohol withdrawels. He promised me that this drug was completely safe and not addictive at all as he did with the Klonopin. but he convinced me of it by telling me it wasn't a controlled substance. It worked great for about a week, but then all of those strange withdrawal symptoms from the Klonopin started coming back, and I required more of the Gabapentin to control those symptoms... My doctor actually said I could pick up the 3600 mg of it a day if need it without any worry of withdrawal. I had a massive bottle of 300mg pills and another massive bottle of 100mg pills to "fill in" I got to the point where I was taking 300 mg in the morning, 300 mg in the afternoon, and 1200 mg at night. But something just didn't feel right, I wasn't myself, I felt like I had suddenly lost 10 or 15 IQ points, the world seemed dull and so did my emotions. So the doctor pulled me off the gabapentin and put me back on the klonopin and once stable I would do a very slow taper, i was desperate to feel normal again so i agreed... I was pulled from the gabapentin after being on it for only 9 days... but with no taper and put back on the klonopin. Only this time it was not really working... I am well aware of Heather Ashton, slow tappering, micro tappering, and the effects benzos have on our gaba receptors... i personaly think Ashton is to highly regarded... I think the cross over to valium is a bad idea and does not work out for a lot of people... i respect the work she did, and her research, but that information is out dated and had needed to be continued and expanded upon. I do not agree all benzos effect the brain the same way the only difference is half life... My doctor thought going on valium would be my best option because of the long half life.... but there was no transition, it was just simply stop the Klonopin 1 day and start on 8mg diazapam the next... valiums main chemical of action breaks down in just 4 hours, while the rest of it just builds up in our systems... so the relief factor is short, while the rest of the chemicals just build up. Where I am at now I am currently taking 3 mg of Valium in the morning and 3 mg of Valium at night as well as 300 mg of Gabapentin in the morning and 300 mg at night ( yes im back on the gaba... mainly because the lack of sleep that started after my 2nd valium cut was just killing me) . This process is drawn out for the better part of a year now, and I'm still not medication free, and I'm still suffering insomnia, anxiety, and a sense of detachment. What I'm really wondering is if anyone has been on this combination of medications, and how they approached the taper. It doesn't matter which one I cut, I feel the effects of both in very much the same way with the same type of symptoms. Should I be tapering say half a milligram of Valium every two weeks, and 100 mg of Gabapentin every 2 weeks? Or tackle one at a time??? I apologize as this intro has turn into a book, I'm just very desperate for answers from people who have been through this I'm not seeking medical advice just personal experiences. My doctor and my pharmacist both say that what I'm experiencing is impossible given my dosage. But i know better. Just last year I was a highly functioning, healthy , strong, muscular, independent hard-working man, that ate a very healthy diet. After taking the Klonopin for just 17 days, the aftermath has been the loss of my job, i've had to move in with my sister for the time being. And all any doctor wants to do is give me more drugs or up my doses. I know the reality is this is a side effect kind of withdrawal from the medication so I refuse to do that. I have had a ton of blood work, and other neurological tests that are all perfectly normal I currently take both ionic and threonate magnesium in the middle of the day. I dont know if it helps ot not... i still eat healthy and walk at least 3 miles a day. SYMPTOMS I have lost 10 pounds of muscle, i have diahrea everyday I have benign faciculation dissorter My hands are shakey I have a massive panic attack in the middle of the night that wakes me up After the panic attqck at night I spend the rest of my hours in stage 2 of sleep ( where i feel like im not sleeping but i actually am) during this time i have a constant stream of thoughts, songs stuck in my head, and thins that make literaly no sense at all... I sleep between 2 and 6 hours per night. I have daytime anxiety mainly in the afternoon. Thank you, and best wishes to all of you.
  2. Hi all! I am a 22 year old female diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and ADHD. I was heavily drugged at around the age of 14, and I decided to come off of many of my meds in the past year. Unfortunately, I do not have the history of meds/dosages for the past two years but may be able to obtain info from my doctor... Drugs Withdrew from: 1. Trileptal 2. Gabapentin 3. Horizant (form of gabapentin) I was put on Trileptal (I believe 900mg) for Bipolar Disorder around the end of summer of 2017 I decided to come off the drug after about 5 months. I went off quickly, but did not stop cold turkey. Started experiencing tingling in my legs (against clothing or fabric) Started developing a noise sensitivity during this time. Went on Gabapentin (I believe 900mg) in November/December for one month and a half, and had side effects. Came off with my doctor Experienced side effects including insomnia, anxiety, tingling back, chills, temperature changes, heart palpitations, panic attacks, noise sensitivity Went on Horizant for 3 days had side effects, stopped for a day, took it again once, and stopped permanently after 4th day. Had brain zaps for a few weeks with tinnitus Since stopping ALL 3 meds, I now have chronic side effects Tingling (against clothes) Legs (***) front and back of thighs. Intermittent throughout day. Very unbearable.. In both arms (sometimes part of arm sometimes full arm) --less frequent but happens more than back/ribs Back (less frequent) Ribs (less frequent) Tingling happens for a few seconds with back arms and ribs. Noise sensitivity (hyperacusis) Touch sensitivity Head pressure (started after brain zaps from Horizant subsided.) Basically CONSTANT throughout the day. ***** I believe that all of my symptoms are from withdrawal from medications. The chronic pain/tingling against clothing or fabric is the most excruciating. I wonder if anyone knows if this will go away or if it is permanent damage?? Is anyone familiar with my situation? It has been about 2 months since I tried Horizant in February of 2018. It is April 2018 now I don't want to put any more drugs in my body, especially not knowing if it will go away on it's own. I am a college student who is now going to drop out, even though I was doing great in school. All advise/ info helps!! Thank you!!
  3. ADMIN NOTE moved initial posts from Mission of Surviving Antidepressants Hello. What do you exactly mean "if the symptoms are from and adverse or paradoxical reaction to medication, the medication has to be gradually withdrawn for recovery."? Is three to four months of gradual withdrawel enough? Thats what I did.
  4. I am a 55 year old woman that has taken Zoloft in the 90's for panic disorder and anxiety. I can't really remember when I stopped taking it, but it worked for a few years. In 2004, I had a fluttering heartbeat and high pulse so I went to the Dr. and he put me on Metoprolol ER 25 mg. to help my heart beat stronger and also help with anxiety. He also started me on Lexapro 10 mg. once a day. I absolutely found Lexapro to be so beneficial to me. It worked so well on my panic and depression. After about 7 or so years, I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer and became health phobic. Dr. increased the Lexapro to 20 mg. Helped some, but still had panic and anxiety at times so somewhere along the line we added .5 Ativan a day as needed. I rarely took it., but sometimes if I was having swirling thoughts at night I would take one and it helped me fall asleep. I started having more and more stress in my life as my alcoholic husband started binge drinking, we had a house fire, a beloved Aunt and Uncle passed away within four months of each other from cancer, my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and had surgery and treatment, my husband lost two jobs. Very stressful times to say the least. I thought I would try a different SSRI or AD medication to see if my stress/panic/anxiety//agoraphobia would improve. My PCP had me taper over the course of four weeks, which I now realize is way too short of a taper after having been on Lexapro for 14 years! He wanted me to try Trintellix, but my insurance said no, so we tried Celexa after the taper. Yuck. I felt horrible. Now I don't know if it was the Celexa or withdrawal symptoms, but I felt like I had a cotton head with pressure and aching, general malaise, not wanting to do anything, sweaty all the time, exhausted, not sleeping that well. Stopped Celexa and tried Buspirone. Another no-go. Same feelings with it. Not sure again if it was the Buspirone or withdrawal from Lexapro still hanging with me. Finally my PCP said start Lexapro again at 10 mg. until you get in to see a Psychiatrist. So I did. I started 5 mg. on 6/29 and then 10 mg. on 7/6. Saw Psychiatrist on 7/10 and told him I didn't think Lexapro was that effective for me. He said he was okay with me staying on it. (What about me being okay with that?) and he added Gabapentin so I could stop taking Ativan. I am to take Gabapentin 100 mg one or two capsules 2-3 times daily. Kind of scared of it. Read side effects and had fear. I have only taken two doses and already I have a bit of a sore throat. Although I do have to say, 100 mg. last night made me relax and I got some much needed sleep. Ah! About 6 hours and only woke up twice briefly and went back to sleep. That part is great. Now I am contemplating....do I call the Psychiarist and ask for another AD medication or wait a few more weeks to see if I improve? Thanks for reading my story and any advice or help is most appreciated. Thanks for having me! Wishing good health to all.
  5. Hi. I hope I'm in the right place because antipsychotic drugs and antidepressants and benzodiazepines have caused permanent brain damage and I have trouble navigating on this sight. Is it possible to taper off geodon before gabapentin? I have read in the Road Back Program that I must taper off gabapentin and clonazepam before I can finish tapering off geodon. I am terrified of antipsychotic drugs. I want to get off it after I finish tapering off clonazepam. I successfully completed tapering off trazodone and propranolol and have tapered the clonazepam to 1 mg and have tapered the geodon down to 80 mgs. I was misdiagnosed as having schizophrenia and now am working with a team of doctors to taper me slowly off the drugs that robbed me of my memory and pleasure and motivation. I am desperate to get off these terrible drugs. Especially the clonazepam and geodon. I'm tapering off slowly the clonazepam right now. I have read that if you taper off geodon before gabapentin and clonazepam it increases the clearance time of clonazepam and gabapentin by as much as 50% causing you to go into clonazepam and gabapentin withdrawal even without lowering the dosage of the clonazepam and gabapentin. However, I have also read in the book "Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal" by Peter breggin md that you should make it a priority to get off the antipsychotic drug first especially if you are non psychotic. My doctor thinks I can just stop taking the geodon but I know that is wrong. I appreciate any help you can give me.
  6. I would like to say hello and thank this website for giving me hope. I have spent the last few days reading a lot of the posts and have found them to be full of information and great advice. The success stories are wonderful to read. I have never been in a medical situation like this and I was feeling lost and alone until I found Surviving Antidepressants. I was put on Zoloft (50 mg then upped to 100mg) in February 2016 due to depression over a long-term illness that at that time was still un-diagnosed. I got a diagnosis for my illness in April of 2016. I was hospitalized for that illness both in April and March and it was eventually brought under control. Once I got home from the hospital (both times) I was very weak and I had very confused thinking. I had multiple at-home treatments and medications to keep track of. Somewhere in there I messed up my Zoloft and either went cold turkey or was only taking it intermittently, but did not realize it at the time. Starting in May and ramping up in June I had all sorts of symptoms, which nobody in the medical field could figure out, including me. I was put on Gabapentin (600mg then upped to 900mg) to help with the symptoms. My symptoms included headaches, nausea, feeling hot and sweating but having a low body temperature, as well as the feeling of internal tremors in arms and legs, and actual external tremors. I also had jerky arm movements. I had what I call “vertigo light”, the whole room didn’t spin, just the floor moved when I tried to walk; I felt like I was drunk. I had brain zaps, motion sickness, insomnia, dizziness, nausea, and pressure in the ears like when flying on a plane. My memory was also bad. After endless nights of searching the Internet with my symptoms I realized I had withdrawal. Counting the actual amount of pills in the bottle and looking at the day it was prescribed confirmed that I had not been taking my medication. Once I realized what was going on I contacted my psychiatrist and I went back on at 50mg, which was twelve days ago. A dosage that high might be a mistake after reading about “reinstating” here on this sight, I don’t know yet. Since reinstating the brain zaps and vertigo have disappeared, and the other symptoms have gone down in intensity, however I am getting them more frequently. I’m now getting them every day, for at least a few hours and sometimes all day. Before going back on Zoloft they were really brutal but only for a few hours at a time, none of this all day stuff. Klonopin seems to help however my psychiatrist has suggested that I use it sparingly, he said that the Gabapentin should be helping with the symptoms. By the way, I feel I have an excellent psychiatrist. He did warn me when he put me on Zoloft not to go off of it without talking to him first and that there was tapering involved. He also responds to my frequent and desperate e-mails on a timely basis. I do recognize though that I need to be proactive when it comes to my health. This is my first time with a drug in the SSRI class. At this moment my goal is to stabilize. Eventually I would like to get off, but right now I just want the physical symptoms to go away. By the way, the depression, which was acute in February, seems to have disappeared, both while on and off the Zoloft. I am open to opinions, questions, and suggestions. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
  7. Hi all, This is my first post here and my first real attempt at tapering off of all psychiatric medications. A very brief background, I have been on 20+ medications since I was 12, ranging from antidepressants, mood stabilizers, benzodiazepines, anti-convulsants, anti-psychotics, and sleep drugs. I am 22 now and finally, (sober this time) investigating some of the core issues that caused me to self medicate-via doctor and drug dealer-and I'm ready to really sit with my emotions and feel them fully. Currently I am on Lithium-1050mg, Gabapentin-600mg, Celexa-5mg I have been reading as much as I can on comingoff.org and SA and would like to prepare myself and set myself up for success. From what I understand 10% taper is ideal. I am not in any hurry, I just want this to be as positive experience as possible so this is fine. I met with my psychiatrist today and she had some smaller dosages prescribed for me and is on board and on my team for which I am thankful. I am wondering if there are other things I can do smartly prepare. I read briefly about remineralization but am not sure what that entails. Any foods, supplements, behaviors that would ease me into this journey? Ideas? Thoughts? I start this process April 1st and will post updates. Thank you!
  8. Hi. I heard this forum will help with other meds besides anti-depressants. I got off of those years ago but probably did myself some damage in the process. I put in a signature so you can see how I got here and where I am. I was so tired from lack of sleep that I was just taking whatever the nurse or doctor said without thinking it through. Now I'm sleeping 5-6 hours and can think well enough to know that I'm in a bad place from these drugs and need to get off. My biggest problem now is sedation/depression. I cannot drive most days. I've lost my job and most of my friends. I used to be much more active but now can't even walk around the block. I also have a lot of anxiety but not sure if it's life circumstances or meds or both. I can't figure out where to start. I'm losing hope that I will ever get better. I do think I got much worse when I started the gabapentin. Actually, I'd say the anxiety got better but the sedation and depression and feeling hopeless got worse. I don't know where to start but I figure I'm not going to ask my doctor for a plan given what happened with the anti-depressant taper he gave me. I wanted to rip my brain out of my head, it was that bad. Don't ever want to experience that again. But can't stay like I am, either.
  9. I am a little over a month into this part of my tapering story, (Celexa-free now) and last week I had a lot of anxiety, which did not come as a surprise to me. I had somatic obsessions, tactile hallucinations, paranoia, and sometimes I wince from the intrusive thoughts or images that come up. My partner has been witnessing moments of this struggle which sparked a discussion. She says it hurts her to see me in pain and she urged me to think more critically about why I am doing what I am doing. When I tried to explain that sometimes withdrawal is just hard and requires patience, she said that I was rationalizing everything and didn't have any plan in place for when I should stop what I was doing or increase dosages again. She feels as if I don't leave enough room for her feelings or take into account how my actions in this process affect our relationship. She does not have personal experience with mental illness or medication which for some reason makes hearing that from her feel even harder. I feel judged in moments, though I really do think this is my own projection, and as a result I am not able to comfortably voice how I feel. I responded to all of this rather defensively. It felt like she wasn't trusting me to know what I need and it also seemed like this process, (which is hard for me already) was burdensome to her somehow. I felt like this is incredibly challenging for me and I need her amazing strength, love, and support right now, more than ever. I care so much about how she feels and this relationship but I want to be in control of this very personal process. She also thinks I am undergoing this journey in hopes of an idealized vision of reality without medication. While I do have hope for what life might be like drug-free, I try really hard to stay grounded and not have too many expectations. Maybe she's right in that regard. I don't know how to create more space for her to have feelings about how I'm feeling. It feels messy. I start dissociating during our conversations and losing time, losing information. She is very sharp and has an amazing memory so I simply cannot compete. We have barely talked in the past two days, we both feel really frustrated. We have both explicitly stated our needs and yet this still does not feel resolved. Neither of us can seem to relax into a willing state of mind until the other does. I feel so angry and I can't tell where it is coming from. Does anyone relate to this? I'm not sure how to move forward? Otto
  10. Hi everyone. I just started a gabapentin taper yesterday and am starting to feel the effects. Have been on the medication for 5 years and previously was on antidepressants for 15 years prior. Went off antidepressants cold turkey almost 4 years ago. Decided I wanted to get off gabapentin a few years ago and started a taper but haven’t been able to get lower than 600mg without going into wirndrawal and having it effect my level Of functioning. Lately I have been getting really uncomfortable feet and hand vibrations that I think may be a paradoxical side effect of taking the medication. My dr. wants to try tapering off to see if the feeling goes away (this telling us if this is a medication reaction). Today is my first full day reducing by 200mg and I’m experiencing serve anxiety. Also thoughts of self harm which I haven’t had in a long time (so I’m assuming it’s med detox related). I’ve thought about increasing the dose tomorrow but when I think about doing that I feel so defeated and dependent. I want to get through this- or at least give it a real chance. Any advice on getting through this period? Also- has anyone else felt this way... and how long does it last? Thanks for your support. cali
  11. Hi, Rhiannon! My name is Lora. I have read a few of your posts and had a few questions for you. You write well and come off as very intelligent. Back in October 2015 at the age of 21 - I was cut CT off of 2 mg Klonopin. (4 months daily use) It was making me really physically ill. I was given Xanax and 1 week to get completely off. That was life altering and something I never want to experience again. I was admitted to the hospital three weeks later and was stabilized on 30 mg of Librium. 900 mg of Gabapentin. 15 mg Remeron. Well, four days later I left the hospital and my doctor cut me by 10 mg of Librium (horrible idea) It was awful. I tried to CT Gaba and that did not work so I reinstated and cut 300 mg with no problems. Moving on, by January 2016 I was down to "12.5" and it got very dangerous. I reinstated and went back up to 25. Got a compound pharmacist and held. (Still ill) We moved my doses around a lot (that hurt) April and May 2016 got nasty. I was tremoring. The pain was awful. The brain pressure pain was BAD. The symptoms got scary. Gabapentin out of nowhere starting giving me manic reactions on top of being so scary ill. I was forced to break the 300 up in the evening to 100s taken all an hour apart and the same for the morning. Still getting psychotic reactions I had no choice but to cut 100 mg off of my morning dose. Two days later I got SLAMMED. Scary. It was its own hell. It felt like a massive benzo cut. My pain and w/d did not start getting better until early-mid 2017. I still have waves but am almost living a normal life again and am down to 12.30 mg of Librium. 500 mg of Gaba (that's next) 15 mg Remeron I will step off of benzos next year and am so proud of my progress but the Gabapentin micro taper that is to come is haunting me. I am 23 and desperately want a life. I have so much to live for. 1. Do you think my nightmare in 2016 was me still coming off CT of Klonopin? (and being rapidly tapered and updosed) Do you think that made the Gabapentin cut worse? 2. Can I come off of Gabapentin (very slowly) and still live a normal life? Lora
  12. Hi. I'm very tired today so this is a hard push to make myself say hello and try to condense decades of hell into a few sentences that resemble a post not too long too read. Most of it will be voice texting. At first I thought this was about getting off benzos. That was 3 years ago. I had a psychotic event in public because I forgot to put my Ativan in my pill box for half the week. 4 cop cars handcuffs and a taser were involved... as I was on my way to the psychiatrist office bc I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me.. leaving another place totally unrelated to anything which was the place I went psycho in and actually they put themselves on lockdown because of me:-( So I go nuts when I figure out Wth has been happening to me for so many years. I chose to taper off my Remeron in 2 months and I switch from Ativan to too low Valium overnight (1.5 mg Ativan to 10 mg valium) a little less than halfway through and because I held for so long I started trying to see why I wasn't stabilizing and Google some of the symptoms I was having. This brought Lamictal to the Forefront. I was on 400 mg and went down to 300 via a 6 month taper. I'm so tired today...ok so then I've been holding and trying to decide if I should finally restart my taper on the 6 mg of valium first or lower the Lamictal some more. A week ago I accidentally doubled only my Gabapentin. By accident. I was insanely graphically suicidal all day and borderline psychotic. Plenty of physical problems too. There was no disputing the kind of effect it had on me and since I have a lot of suicidal ideation especially since I was first put on Lamictal to begin with and that's why they smothered it with ativan...so when I felt a little bit better than next day I swallowed my sense of dread and Googled Gabapentin. I have been on this s*** for 15 years and I have had suicidal ideation...Ahem...a lot of that time and then they added Lamictal and then Ativan. Although it was terrible day and a terrible experience and a short trip to Dante's seventh circle of hell the Silver Lining is I learned something, once again, that's going to be pivotal in my recovery I just don't know how to apply it yet. That's where you guys come in Okay my brain just fried out it's nap time. Honestly I was a nurse and I'm just like some of the brain injured people I took care of and I'm really sorry for this s*** introduction. I'm on valium 3 mg 2x daily, Lamictal 150 mg 2x daily, Gabapentin 600 milligrams 3xa day (I just changed my twice a day gaba dosing to 3 times to split it up since it I learned it had a short half-life) Prilosec 10 mg ( just so there's that at least... The meds I take right now. I tend to make my Med mistakes in clusters and I made one yesterday that's affecting me today and making my brain worse than usual. I have an excellent ptsd therapist, and a nurse practitioner who is "humoring" I'm very grateful for that but she's also been pretty negligent and I could have died twice because of her missing pancreatitis and other things like enough attention at all especially when I lost a hundred pounds and could barely walk anymore because I was wasting away on couch oblivious to anything besides Not killing myself. (I digress that was during the beginning of the benzo taper. 2014_2015) I also have seen a neurologist because of these types of bi symptoms I was having and just so I could say I'm seeing a neurologist in case some nasty psychiatrist tries to get their hooks into me. It makes me sound more credible if I say I'm seeing a neurologist. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate that but he did agree my Lamictal dose was too high and he told my GP to taper me with 25 mg pills which he felt was ridiculous but thank God he did that much. I mentioned those healthcare providers so that if I come on here crazy y'all don't have to worry I've got professionals on my side lol the therapist is really the only one that's worth a dang. I will attend to things like a decent signature on another day and any replies I might get today I may not be able to respond to but rest assured...I am desperate for educated community outside of Facebook!!! Your words will not be wasted... I treasure all responses as long as they aren't mean and uncivilized and aren't pushing God down my throat or trying to sell me a supplement. I know how hard it is to give well-thought-out replies to people and you put your heart and soul into it when you're not at your best many times so I value your responses and I'm always going to come back and look at them and reply. The sensory flooding I get and how easily triggered I am into sensory overload and my inability to give a short edited concise answer is extremely difficult embarrassing and stressful to me. I have to be All or Nothing lately. And media blackouts seem to have been the best reduction in stress but that could because I'm trying to do everything on Facebook. And I can be a valuable asset and wealth of information. I'm very insightful and although I do freak out a lot I always learn something pivotal for every experience and I will come back and share it. I'm also quick to apologize I'm not one of those people who can't admit when they're wrong I'm always open to new information and I've been at this long enough but I've learned what's okay and what's not okay for the most part unless I'm absolutely out of my mind because of some stupid mistake I made with my meds. If you made it this far thank you so much and keep on keeping on, my mantra for today is I am stronger than my past. And it's ok to do nothing. I'm 300lb mud-suit tired.
  13. Hello all, New to the site. A little about my situation, After being prescribed 300mg gabapentin twice a day + 900mg before bed, 15mg remeron before bed, and 100mg trazodone before bed for what's said to be anxiety disorder that appeared out of no where. I visited a psychiatrist per the hospital. It took me two weeks to find one to see me, upon my visit she says that she wanted to get me off as much as possible as she thought the gabapentin should be all I needed. She stated that I should be able to stop the Trazodone and remeron right away with no issues. I questioned weather this was a good idea.... Anyways I decided that the trazodone had to go first because of the side effects I was having from it tapered from 100mg to 75 for two days then fifty for two days noticed a slight down feeling then 25 for 4 days "what a mistake" on the forth day I felt so bad racing thoughts of hurting myself, really bad depression "which I have never had" and more than an hour of servere anxiety if not for the gabapentin surely I would have been flailing around like a fish out of water. I found this site that night after everything seem to calm down and decided to updose. I owned a mg scale and went back up to 37.5mg. First day was great present day not so good, pretty ok morning around 12pm started having stomach issues and some feeling down laid on the couch for several hours started to feel better so I went to the gym and did my daily 8 mile bike ride. My problem is that I am supposed to return to work on the 30th or lose my job and insurance.I don't know if I updosed correctly or how to stabilize enough to return to work. I would appreciate any advice I can get at this point. So upset because this is the first time in my life I have had to take any meds daily, feeling so lost.
  14. I apologize if its hard to follow, but about a month ago, I took Gabapentin for about a week, the first 3 days I took about 2 or 3 a day. They were 800 mg. As each day passed I took 1 more. So the last day I took 6. I am not prescribed these I took them from my mother. Im about to be 19. From everything I've read about the subject on here, in going through withdrawal of the Gabapentin. I'm currently trying to find a new primary care doctor so I can't contact one immediately. So I'm pretty sure tapering is not an option but I'm not sure. I'm having all the symptoms. And they are getting very bad at this point. Its so hard to think straight so I apologize if its hard to read. Just please help. Or refer me to someone that can please
  15. staystrong

    staystrong: My story

    In 2007 I experienced Neurological Malignant Syndrome after using a small amount of Geodon with Nardil my AD at the time. I was unconscious when my 13 yr. old daughter found me at around 3:30 pm. I recall feeling tired that morning at about 10-10.30ish and lying down. Next I know I am bolting upright in ITC not having a clue what happened. For the next 5 days I slipped in and out of delirium. But luckily I got better after 3-4 weeks. My p-doc on the psych ward, cause that's where they moved me, told me to stop the Geodon but never told me never to take an anti-psychotic again. He did not make it sound serious at all and I was so whacked out on Nardil I never gave it a second thought. In fact I had no idea neuroleptics and antipsychotics were the same thing and did not make the connection. My own doctor never mentioned it either. He just told me to get off the Geodon in a very casual way. No red flags from anyone. Fast forward to 2015 when I was going through some serious trauma issues. I was forcibly admitted to another psych ward and some pathetic intern put me on 25mg Thorazine!!! Like a good little patient who still trusted all doctors I actually took it. After release, I added Vyvance which I had been on prior to the Thorazine with great results, at least so I thought. I was OK from Sept. 2015 to Feb. 2016. I actually felt great! Then one morning after my am dose I literally heard a 'pop' in my head. I was alone so I stumbled around for a bit in total confusion and then slept like the dead for many hours. The following am when I tried to take my dose the anxiety was horrendous. CT'ed the Thorazine but the Vyvance was just as intolerable. Ct'ed from that. My dr put me back on Parnate a drug that once made me euphoric. I lasted 7 months with increasingly bad side effects. Dr had me ct that and then on to Lexapro 5mg. Lasted until Jan 1st 2017 and had to Ct that too. Dr kept pushing. From Jan 2017 to mid-June 2017 I was on Lithium/Lamictal/Concerta/Prozac and Lexapro (again) before I had to throw in the towel and stop. Meanwhile he jacked up my Klonopin to 6mg!! (currently down to 4mg) and added 900mg Gabapentin, (down to 300mg.) At first I thought the GBN was helping but now not so much and I experience severe WD when tapering so staying with the 300mg for now. It also affects my language skills/cognition etc. This is a noted SDX of GBN. Has anyone else found it brutal to withdraw, enen taper from GBN? I want so much off this drug which I have been on since Aug. 1st. Almost 4 months. Do you think my brain damage is permanent? My CNS is so shocked right now and my SDX are: deep depression/anxiety, apathy/anhedonia and agoraphobia. Some days a little better but lately slipping backwards. Guess you would say I CT'ed from all AD's in mid-June so that makes4 months in AD WD. Support and thoughts so welcome.................stay strong/be brave....................lilla
  16. I can't remember ever being happy. I never felt like I fit in and relationships were hard to foster. I felt like an outcast, drawing on my musical and visual influences to drive home that point. Listening to Blind Melon I had my first suicide attempt. After that in 2008 I was put on 20mg of Prozac (medicine is right but dose could have been a little higher, it was a long time ago). From there I stayed on Prozac until 2010 and stayed medication free until my anxiety became so crippling that I couldn't walk in a gym around acquaintances in 2012. Then, I was put on Bupropion which was a huge failure and then Paxil, which I stuck with Until 2014 before it's effects dwindled. During that time my depression became unbearable and I couldn't be by myself without crying. I had to leave school my senior year for 3 months and reset everything, return to therapy and look for a new medication. Eventually mid-way through my freshman year of college at the I was given cymbalta at the end of 2014. i thought I finally found it. While there was ups and downs the cymbalta helped tremendously, I almost went off pills completely near the end of 2016, and then extra stresses forced me to try extra Wellbutrin with a cymbalta dose increase. This was a disaster and caused a breakdown and second suicide attempt which landed me in the hospital. The doctor switched me to 75 mg Effexor and it did ok for awhile but my anxiety was through the roof. After two months it was too much and my doc added 300mg gabapentin 3x a day. This is kind of worked for a month and a half before I started to lose my energy, have the racing beating down thoughts and the loss of interest again. Last month the doc tried upping my Effexor to 100 with disasterous results. Now I feel stuck. Its not normal to wake up with no energy and a loss of interest in anything. Have i I been on pills too long? Do I need to take SSRIs or Tricyclate? Tricyclate deal with atypical depression, which fits well due to my inconsistent mood and spiraling ups and downs. Im not bi polar, but one doc said I have characteristics of personality disorder, which would explain the "high" highs and "low" lows. I just need help. Im a semester away from graduating and I don't want to take a pause right before the finish line. I'm a leader in most of my major studies clubs and a well-liked person on campus living in one of the most popular houses at school. Why am I so sad? I just need advice. Get on new pills, get off pills, what pills worked well temporarily. At this point, I just want to get by. Please help me.
  17. Hello, I am Sean. Long time depression and anxiety sufferer. 36y/o, male. Have been on various meds since being a young teenager. Have taken most types of psychiatric drugs at some point. Recently been dealing with hard depression and possibly BP2 diagnosis (if that matters), and am currently on lamictal, Wellbutrin, Gabapentin and Abilify. Sadly I stopped Abilify and Gabapentin improperly a month ago, and now am worried I am going through serious withdrawals and don’t know what to do. I have been on the Lamictal for about 6 years, and 1mg of clonazepam for sleep (or bad anxiety) for maybe 7-8 years. Recently, I had been taking 5mg Abilify since last summer (mid 2017) as an adjunct to treat depression and some psychosis, and also was given gabapentin for anxiety at the same time. I took the Abilify 5mg for a while, then would stop and start as I felt it wasn't doing anything to help, but eventually took is steadily throughout the last few months of the year. I would also take the gabapentin usually in the afternoons for anxiety attack flare ups. The gabapentin was prescribed as taking 1-3 300mg capsules 3x a day (for a potential max of 2700). I usually would only take 900mg a day, and that seemed to help me feel better. For the new year, I wanted to stop the Abilify and Gabapentin, and I had been tapering down the Abilify from 5mg a day to 2.5mg, but then forgot to take it with me on my christmas trip (December 22-28) and had to just stop. I also tried to minimize the gabapentin use and don't quite remember how much I took it over the christmas break, probably semi regularly. I came home from christmas on the 28th (2017) and wanted to be off so many meds as they weren't helping the original intent. I was still on the Wellbutrin, but also had these thoughts of stopping/tapering that down too. Well as of today it's been about 4 weeks without the Abilify, and maybe close to 4 weeks without gabapentin, and I am feeling very strange. Upon returning home, I have developed early morning awakening at around 4am every day (even when taking the 1mg clonazepam for sleep) and have extreme fatigue, obviously, through the day. But as I read more about the Abilify (and then gabapentin) withdrawals, I realized that I might have screwed up bigtime in thinking I could stop them. The gabapentin I was never told had to be tapered down, I thought it was an "As needed" for anxiety med, and I had been taking only 1/3rd of what was prescribed (900mg daily instead of 2700mg). So I've been nearly a month off that. At the same time, in my goal to reduce my drug cocktail, I also thought I could take the Abilify down to 2.5mg for a few weeks, then just cut that down to zero. That's been about a month now as well. But, now that I've read all through these forums, I realize that I may have screwed up real bad. It has definitely been a rough month of emotions and symptoms, but I attributed it mostly to some emotional strain over the holidays and a general continuation of my original depression/anxiety. But now I am wondering if I have thrown myself into a total loop by cutting off those two drugs so improperly, without doctor's supervision or advice. I thought I would be ok. So right now, my quandary is: it's been a month, do I restart the drugs and try tapering over again, or do I just realize that I made a big mistake and push through it now instead of starting back over? This is what I'm afraid of, I feel stuck! And I am not sure how much my pdoc knows or is informed on these withdrawal syndromes. Plus it's really hard to get an appointment with her. I just had one this week and I didn't explain myself well (and hadn't read these forums) so I wasn't aware of the 10% rule and the other possible effects of stopping. I could use some advice or insights. I realize if I'd read these forums before, I wouldn't have stopped like this. But now that I'm a month in, I don't know if it's better to try and start back up, and then taper down, or just figure I need to live through it. I am happy to answer more questions here or in other threads. Please help, thank you!
  18. Hi everyone. I've been on several psych meds since December 2015. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and PTSD. I am on gabapentin, wellbutrin, trazodone and lamictal. Over the past few months I have noticed increased side affects: dizziness, losing my balance, involuntary movement, and severe gastrointestinal issues. I talked to my psychiatrist about getting me off the medications and she is not supportive. She said I need to be on them for life, like a person who has a physical disease. I got sober a year ago from alcohol, am active in my church and recovery community, eat healthy, exercise, and feel I can handle life without being medicated at all. I'm starting with the gabapentin (10% taper) I'm already having anxiety and side affects. I know I have to go slow, one medication at a time. This is really scary and I'm worried I'm never going to be off all of it. I'd appreciate any suggestions.
  19. Hi all, just been given a prescription of Gabapentin today to help me with pain/sleep as Diazepam/Temazepam/ higher doses of Seroquel doing nothing for the latter - have histamine intolerance though, thus came across this site and these posts [in undiagnosed1's introduction topic]. May I ask does Gabapentin decrease or increase histamine? It's unclear. Look forward to hearing from you. Kind regards. S
  20. Hi my name is Sherry and I am on my second day of tapering off of Gabapentin 400 2x daily. I have been on it since last September. I have gained 28 lbs. on this jacked up medication. I just can't sit around and wait until it's even more out of hand. If anyone has already gone through it please leave me any helpful tips. I have the capsules and I have cut down to 400 in am and 200 at night. Thanks.
  21. Hi there! i just joined after going down the google rabbit hole of searching Gabapentin withdrawal. I’m currently trying to come off the Gabapentin and propranolol as I am wanting to become pregnant. I’ve been able to get my dosage down to half for both but am now feeling it’s effects. I’m crying and lethargic and my legs ache when I’m in bed. I also feel like I have a cold or brain fog. I meet with my doctor Friday and hoping he will prescribe me 100mg Gabapentin so I can taper even slower now. But a huge part of me just wants to stop to get it out of my system! When do I start magnesium by the way? Thanks for listening 🙂
  22. I was taking 900 mg of gabapentin a day in treatment when i got off xanax for about 4 months. i dropped down to 300 mg a day for the past two months and didn't notice any change. a week ago i stopped cold turkey because i didn't fill my prescription and thought i wouldn't need it. i've been feeling like I'm detoxing again, it feels worse than when i detoxed off xanax. i have pain all over my body, headaches, nausea, anxiety is there anything i can do to make this pain stop?
  23. Hi everyone, i'm a 37yo male and I need advice on tapering. I seen a MD and first ever meds prescribed to me were in 2013. Wellbutrin 150 mg SR & 0.5mg Xanax as needed. Over the next 3-4 years was given effexor, Lexapro, prozac, paxil, Zoloft and others I cannot remember. Xanax was upped to 1mg 3x daily. Before seeing a psychiatrist was taking Xanax at irregular doses of 1-3mg at a time but usually not daily. Average 60mg a month. So I started to have lots of extra building up. After I was prescribed Valium from the psychiatrist I flushed all the Xanax down the toilet. Since then I've been taking 10mg Valium every 2 days. The psych said it would be fine to switch straight to the Valium. Didn't have any WD. Not sure if my body can go cold turkey on a benzo though because of what I've read on the internet. Glad I found this forum. In June at my first appointment with the psych I was diagnosed bipolar and prescribed trileptal 300mg twice daily which was tapered upwards over 2 weeks. 150mg SR Wellbutrin in the morning. I forget the lithium dose and the gabapentin because the bottles were huge and I refused to take them. I did take the trileptal and Wellbutrin and still do. I've been on and off Wellbutrin for 4 years. Mostly off. 2nd appointment told the doc I wasn't going to take the lithium or gabapentin. He convinced me to take the gabapentin and the dose was tapered to 2400mg over several weeks. 3rd appointment I was always feeling jittery and told him my short term memory was really bad. Got asked a bunch of questions and diagnosed with ADHD. Prescribed Adderall 20mg 3x a day. It was also tapered upwards over a few weeks. I asked to switch to Valium because I read that it's easier to withdraw from. I had not tried to stop taking Xanax since it was prescribed. I didn't tell him my plan was to quit benzos entirely but I was scared from what I had read on the internet. I'm feeling worse on these drugs than I did without them. What started with a visit to my MD because I was feeling down and maybe depressed has lead me to this cocktail of drugs. I'm not feeling myself and have no motivation or interest in things that I used to take joy in.I'm scared this is permanent and I want to get off all my meds. I read the forums about tapering but I'm totally lost on what med to start with. Can someone give me some advice please.
  24. Anybody have problems with impulse control coming off anti psychotics and antidepressants and benzos. How long did it last?
  25. Hello everyone. I NEED to get off Gabapentin before this goes into a territory that I can't manage. I did a fast taper off of a Benzo after being 5 years on. I am almost 2 years off of that, but STILL still from withdrawals. It's unbelievable. The Gabapentin has not done a thing for me. I have gained over 30 pounds on this drug. Jan 2018 will be two years on this drug. I'm on 600mg. Basically I'm only taking it to take it because it does not a damn thing. It hasn't helped AT ALL with the Benzo symptoms. I have read too many conflicting things about liquid taper from this drug so would prefer not to be steered in that direction unless there is proof that that method has worked with members here. On the other hand, someone told me the best way to taper Gabapentin is to open the capsule, mix up the ingredients-apparently one side is the actual drug, and the other side is the fillers- then take a percentage away-I would have had to weigh the capsule ahead. Then I would need to recapsule the drug. I have empty gelatin capsules. What do you guys think of that? And has anyone done that here? Thank you very much.
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