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  1. End of this August I start having severe Chest Tightness which triggered panic attacks thinking I was not breathing. My primary physician put me on 25mg Zoloft. Sure the chest tightness was relieved in two weeks but the real nightmare started .... depersonalizations, deattachment from reality, suicidal thoughts, extreme panic attacks , fear living my house, desperation, nausea in my soul!, eye issues like on of my eyes was focusing at a different level than the other, non stop fear for no reason, going literally crazy.... and the symptoms continue during tapering making my doctor including my husband who is a physician to say it is my illness progressing and not the medicine. At the moment I am bedridden can’t function, I am loosing my mind and only had a few hrs of a window feeling normal during the tapering. The doctors want to put me in antipsychotics , at the moment I am not sure if they are right that I am loosing it or if it is withdrawal... How could 3.5 weeks of sentraline destroy me? I am desperate I can’t take these feelings anymore . Any help advice?
  2. First, excuse me for my English, I speak just French. I’m new on this group and would share my story. My story with shrink medications: It’s the most important rules, the golden rules if you want quit all this crap with minimal damage: stay on the original molecule and taper SLOWLY. I’m destroyed now because I have follow my Dr in this process: 1. Ten years on Tramadol and two years on Klonopin due to neurologic pain after a failed surgery. 2. Almost CT withdrawal of the two molecules , at this time I don’t know a clue about Ashton Manual and withdrawal, I trust my doc 3. Results: depression, anxiety, seizures, ...DR ad Olanzapine and Cymbalta (first time in my life that I take antipsychotic and AD) 4. Results: suicidal ideation, I inform my doc, he up the dosage of the AD! 5. Result: Suicide attempt two weeks later, cardiac and respiratory arrest , 2 weeks in intensive care at hospital 6. They give me Effexor, Pregabalin high dose (Lyrica ), Fentanyl, massive dose of benzos 7.Result: serotoninergic symptômes, they stop CT the fentanyl and Tramadol but ad Trazodone and sleeping pills 8. Results: psychosis, seizures, panic attacks, bowel obstruction and direct to ER! 9.Result: they cut CT the Effexor, Pregabalin, Trazodone and start with anSSRI (fluvoxamine), sleeping pills, Propranolol for tremors and heart rate, and start to cut the benzos but at a rythm of 25% each week. 10. Result: panic attacks, sweating, tremors, insomnia, suicidal tough, akhitisia, enable to eat (lost 30kg in 6 months), depersonalization, weak as hell! 11. Result: 10 weeks in detox clinic...they continue to cut the benzos but 50% each week!!! I talk with the Addicto in charge about Ashton and Breggin, about FB group... Never hearing this!!! 12. Result: back to home with SSRI but nothing else, BUT PAWS off hell: insomnia, dizziness, POTS, PSSD, PTSD, DEPRESSION, CNS AND GI SYSTEM DESTROYED, Anhedonia,SEIZURES, PANIC ATTACKS, ... 13. Result: my Dr stop the SSRI CT and reinstate pregabalin and another SSRI. 14.Result: more anxiety and insomnia. Dr CT the pregabalin: hell 15.Result, I change of Dr and search for a treatment with plant medicine Iboga, change my diet due to benzos belly and all damages due to AD and tapering the SSRI. 16. Go in a clinic for treatment with plant medicine Iboga / Ibogaine. Overnight no more PAWS, insomnia, pain, anxiety, ... was a life saver! Iboga reset all neurotransmitters, like if I was a baby born. 17. Return to home with no PAWS, no medication , but weak, tired and depression (My mistake is that I tapering to fast the Last SSRI, at this time I just want do die but my instinct say to me to microdosing with plant medecine Iboga or psilocybin...but was to down to follow my instinct) 18. Back to the shrink who give me SSRI ( insomnia, anxiety returns, give me Mirtazapine, but adverse effects, ad pregabalin and CT after 3 months, back on benzos too and ad Quétiapine into the cocktail...) I have two lovely kids and a wonderful wife, but I have lost everything: my job, my health, my family... because I’m just able too stay on the couch with horrible symptoms, kindling effect, and pain all day long, sometimes I can eat but the GI system is so painful and destroyed that I can’t assimile nutrients correctly. When I can sleep 2-3 hours it’s a very good night for me, but usually with a lot of nightmares and sweating... Today I have received by mail the decision of health services of my country: I’m considered as 100% invalid. IN CONCLUSION: FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT STOP SHRINK DRUGS: 1. SLOW TAPERING DON’T GO CT 2. STAY ONLY ON YOUR ORIGINAL MOLECULE 3. DON’T STOP MULTIPLE MOLECULE IN SAME TIME 4. DON’T FOLLOW IN ANY CASE THE DR ADVISE ABOUT TAPERING OR DIAGNOSIS DURING WITHDRAWAL 5.DON’T AD NEW DRUGS IN THE COURSE, NEVER! ONLY TIME, HEALTHY DIET, EXERCISE, SOME VITAMINS ARE THE KEY 6.GO **** YOURSELF ALL BIG PHARMA AND DOCTORS WHO WORK FOR THIS. MY SON, MY DAUGHTERS AND MY WIFE HAVE NOW A VEGETABLE IN PLACE OF A FATHER. THANK YOU VERY MUCH MOTHER****ERS! HOPE THERE IS A DIVINE JUSTICE AFTER... Good luck for everyone 🤞🤞🤞hope you will be better than me. ❤️❤️❤️
  3. Hello, I am new to the world of antidepressants but it has been a bad time. I was started on Zoloft in July and had a very bad reaction to the medicine. I was told to take 25mg daily for a week, then 50mg daily onward. Around the time I hit 50mg I started to lose my mind. I was basically set back several years mental health wise and have yet to recover. I had luckily had the foresight to have my dad take my gun before I started the medicine, because I would have killed myself if I hadn't. After explaining this to my psychiatrist, they relented and had me "taper off" the medicine by dropping to 25mg for 4 days then off it entirely. It's been about 2.5 weeks since then, and I have not been doing much better. I still have awful, dark thoughts and intrusive ones that are upsetting as well. My anxiety, which was annoying before, is now completely out of control. My personality has completely shifted. I am not the same person I was and it sucks. I can't enjoy movies, shows, video games, or anything. Every waking second is a new hell of emotional instability. Prior to the medicine, I had issues dealing with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. They would come and go and I was relatively alright. Since then, I can not relax even slightly. I have tried everything that normally works, and I am just lost. I even tried getting a medical marijuana card and the marijuana didn't help even slightly. My current life situation isn't helping, but I am unable to change it in the short and long term. Highlights include: -Being treated like dogshit in the military (out now) because my wife was an immigrant and I wasn't reenlisting, and had physical issues -Have to continually get surgery, can barely walk. Can't sit down almost at all, have to stand or lay down. Spend most of my day on my feet. -Wife borderline abusive (started my MH issues), not currently living together for a variety of reasons -Fired from job because my entire department wanted COVID-19 safety things and I was considered "the ringleader." -Denied unemployment (was owed $20,000) -Unable to live on my own due to income being too low (disability check helps but not enough). -FBI had to come and take some of my HDDs that I discovered had govt files on them that I didn't know about -Constant guilt/shame complex All that being said, I was managing things okay for the most part until Zoloft. My psychiatrist basically told me I was being dramatic because I was on it for such a short amount of time and for such a low dose, but it has completely and fundamentally destroyed me as a person. I am still experiencing things like clenching my jaw, nausea, extreme anxiety/depressive states, obsessive thoughts that loop, feelings of guilt / shame, etc. Many of these things did not exist prior to taking the Zoloft. It is supposedly "out of my system" by now, but I can still taste the metallic taste in my mouth and my jaw is in constant pain from clenching. TL;Dr I tried Zoloft for a few weeks and it has destroyed me. Looking for advice, support, and anything anyone is willing to offer. I have not been able to find where to update my signature but I will as soon as I do. Thank you!
  4. Bonjour, je suis une fille française de 27 ans désolé pour mon anglais. Je n'ai jamais eu de problèmes psychiatriques avant cela. J'aimerais dire que je suis très passionné par les animaux, je les aime tellement, j'ai un chat depuis 11 ans et un cheval depuis 8 ans donc c'est très difficile pour moi d'en parler mais j'ai besoin d'aide. .. En juin 2020, nous emmenons un chiot avec mon copain ... En même temps, j'étais un peu anxieux et déprimé à cause de mon travail, mon médecin m'a donné 5 mg de Brintellix ... C'était le début de l'enfer sur Terre ... J'étais une jeune fille positive et joyeuse et quand j'ai pris Brintellix, les trois premiers jours, j'étais totalement une autre fille, j'ai commencé à avoir des maux de tête, du bruxisme, beaucoup de brouillard, des tours de mémoire, beaucoup de fatigue. Puis, au quatrième jour, j'étais irritable, de mauvaise humeur, et au cinquième jour, j'ai commencé à avoir des pensées agressives et suicidaires ... Ce n'était pas moi, je n'ai jamais été comme ça ... J'avais tellement angry de rien. Avertissement de déclenchement: Au jour 8, j'ai trouvé mon chien mort ... suspendu à son collier quand je suis rentré à la maison après mon travail. Et je pense que c'est moi, je pense que je tue mon propre chien ... C'est difficile à expliquer pour moi en anglais car je ne connais pas les mots pour expliquer les circonstances mais je suis presque certain que c'était de ma faute ... Au jour 14, le 8 juillet, j'arrête définitivement le traitement de Brintellix et depuis c'est très très horrible ... le lendemain j'ai passé une nuit horrible avec beaucoup de cauchemars et mon cerveau en surmultipliée ... Depuis que je veux juste me tuer parfois à cause de beaucoup d'émotions, je ressens parfois de la dépersonnalisation, de l'anxiété, je pleure tellement, je suis en colère contre moi-même, tellement coupable pour mon adorable chien, je ne savais pas pourquoi je fais ça ... j'aime tellement les animaux, c'est tellement impossible pour moi de leur faire du mal ... Je ne me reconnais pas depuis cet horrible traitement, je ne suis plus capable de ressentir de la joie et du bonheur, j'ai de la chance d'avoir de bonnes personnes autour de moi, mon petit ami et ma famille mais je ne suis pas capable de ressentir l'amour autour de moi. . Mes journées sont si mauvaises, tout ce que j'aimerais faire avant de disparaître ... Je me déteste tellement d'avoir pris cet horrible médicament ... La seule chose que je peux faire est de regarder la télévision ou mon téléphone parce que cela me fait trop réfléchir ... Mais même cela ne fonctionne pas toujours et je pleure et je me sens si mal. Je pense à mon chien tout le temps et j'essaie d'expliquer ce qui se passe mais je ne peux pas ... J'arrête le traitement le 8 juillet 2020, pourquoi je me sens si mal maintenant? Un mois plus tard ?
  5. Starboy17

    Starboy17

    took 1mg finasteride for near 8years albeit, I did take breaks, additionally I lowered the dose and only took it couple times a week, this is known as a maintenance dose. However just over a year ago I decided to take a generic versions of propecia and like a shot of lightening I then noticed mood swings, moments of crying spells, it took a couple months to realise that it wasn't university studies and a personal fallout with a friend (although I bet it contributed) however it wasn't until I completely stopped taking finasteride that I experienced insomnia for the first time in my life! I kept having panic attacks after being asleep for two hours I would wake up gasping for air, I also had close to 15 panic attacks during the day, followed by general anxiety disorder, and a feeling of dread that was unlike anything I've ever experienced, that seemed unbaiting I would have to say hands down it was the worst mental breakdown of my life this lasted for at minimum of three months and progressively got worse. To complicate matters I quit dexamphetamine 30mg a year earlier as I had been naughty on it as I only took it whenever I felt like it for over 3.5 -4yrs unfortunately I have ADHD and still do as an adult, yay lucky me! I also loved alcohol, was often considered the life of the party,(not my own assessment) however I have since decided that I self medicated with it and it only compounded my already fragile mental health, so I'm no longer drinking at all. I discussed the mood swings etc with my GP in Sydney Australia and was given Lexapro tablet (can't recall the dosage) the morning I felt great, by afternoon a sense of dread crept up on me followed by suicide ideation, whilst driving with my partner down the motorway I had intrusive thoughts about crashing my car, anyone who knows me, would agree that is the polar opposite of my personality, in the end I had no choice but to go to emergency the next day after I couldn't sleep and explain my symptoms, I was given 10mg Valium which did nothing except have a paradoxical effect, I felt more lively instead of relaxed I was later discharged and given 30mg of mirtazapine, I'm a small bloke 65kg but Wow that knocked right out of the water. Since April 2016 I've been stuck on mirtazapine. Through the haze that is my mirtazapine experience I knew that the dosage was far too high for me and regularly checked in with my GP and advised him, I've never been on an antidepressant before, only dexamphetime, I told the Dr there's no way i'm taking 30mg of mirtazpine!, he agreed to and I lowered the dose to 15mg although this was still sedating throughout the day along with memory issues, which I never had experienced in my whole life, I've always been a remarkable person for memory so that was really scary for me, eventually I started my own research, why not I'm a tertiary student, thank God I found this site and Dr Joseph Glenmullens book! I even had to take a semester off study and reduced to part time. Guess that law degree can wait. I'm currently on 2.8mg of mirtazapine and can't wait to be off this, however through painful experience the withdrawals are debilitating and that's putting it kindly, I saw a Psychiatrist last month and he mentioned that I must be ultra sensitive, I'm reminding myself regularly that I'm strong and that every day i'm healing and everyday I'm getting stronger. I'm not one for mantra's but this does actually help Sorry Alto if I raved on or if I didn't put this post in the right place, I've been reading and following your advice for months, quite studiously I will add and been wanting to post my experience so badly but have been so incapacitated by all that I've experienced over the last year. So days I feel I'm holding for dear life, the tapering can be so demoralizing at times and then out of nowhere I get tiny glimpses of gaining my old sense of self again, there's so much more I want to say but for now, i'm amazed I've been able to type what I have. Peace
  6. Hello, I just wanted to share my Citalopram story as I'm feeling terrible at the moment and just feel like I've completely ruined my body. I don't know if anyone else out there has advice or experienced something similar? I was prescribed Citalopram in February this year by my GP after experiencing a lot of anxiety. I took 10mg for 4 days but after contacting my GP when I was experiencing a lot of side effects, she upped my dose to 20mg and said it was normal to feel worse before I felt better. By this stage I was feeling pretty manic but for some reason I did what the doctor advised and upped my dose to 20mg as I thought my feelings were because I was so anxious. In hindsight I know now that it was the drug that was actually making me feel manic but I just wasn't aware of that at the time - I bought it was all me. I ended up taking Citalopram for just 7 days in the end and only stopped after a particularly bad night where I was experiencing burning all over my body and brain zaps - I knew I couldn't take it anymore. The Dr didn't want me to stop but I couldn't face taking another pill. Two days before I stopped taking it I started to experience a tremor in my arms but I thought it would wear off when I stopped the drug. Fast forward to around the 20th March having been Citalopram free for a month I began experiencing terrible, debilitating symptoms. My back & stomach is constantly pulsing - I have no idea what it is, I have pins and needles in my legs and tingling in my feet. The floor feels like it is moving when I walk and I feel very unsteady and dizzy. I feel completely detached from everything and everyone and don't even really recognise myself. Im just not interested in the things I used to be and everything is so much effort. I have major brain fog. I sleep very poorly and wake up after a couple of hours, body pulsing and unable to get to sleep. My neck tingles and I have a slight tremor in my neck/head. I never feel still or relaxed and I'm constantly on edge. My head throbs. My teeth hurt and my jaw is tight. My neck feels tight & my stomach is inflamed. Nothing I take seems to help with my symptoms. I have contacted my GP for help but they have said that it all sounds like anxiety, and have prescribed me propranolol and diazepam. They said that it is very unlikely that Citalopram has caused this but I really think it has. I've never felt like this in my life. I am finding it all so very difficult at the moment. I feel like a complete zombie and the physical symptoms are so hard to deal with. I used to be so active and now walking feels like a battle. Physically and mentally I feel completely ruined. I am so ashamed that I have done this to myself and cannot see a way out. Is there anyone out there who has experienced similar or who can offer a bit of hope? Does this get better? History: 11th - 17th February 2020 - Citalopram (3 days 10 mg & 4 days 20mg)
  7. Hi I started a atypical antipsychotic drug abilify 10mg for anxiety and irritability for the first time 2 months ago. I had a adverse reaction to it and developed akathisia. So I stopped the ablify immediately, but still had lingering akathisia form the abilify, So I decided to self medicate with mirtazapine 30mg morning and night to help subside the symptoms. I continue to do this for one week. As far as I knew it was a sleeping pill that my psychiatrist pribscribed me months ago that I never bothered to take. He just said do you want something to help you sleep? Anyway once the akathisia went away, I stopped the mirtazapine the same time, and About one week later I developed severe withdrawals. I decided to ride out the withdrawals up until week 6 until I couldn't take no more. So I decided to reinstate. My question is..... is it to late to reinstate, what dosage should I start on, and how long does it take to stabilize? I dont bother asking my psychiatrist because he doesn't believe you get withdrawals.
  8. Hello all. I was prescribed Lexapro 10mg for heart palpitations and blood pressure. Never struggled with anxiety but the cardiologist determined my heart rate issues were from anxiety and I even argued with him over it and his reply was that my heart was anxious. So I attempted the Lexapro as the palpitations were uncomfortable. 3 hours after taking the first dose I had my first ever panic attack. Kept having panic attacks upon waking and started having bad anxiety. Stopped the lexapro after a week. It’s been 4 weeks since I’ve been off the lexapro. The anxiety is bad still. It’s interfering with my work and life. I have moments I feel like I’m going to pass out and get really dizzy. I’m 26 and have been married for a year. I was loving my life and now I don’t feel happiness towards much of anything. My husband is out of town for work and so I’m living with my mother because I don’t even care enough to take care of my dog and cat whom I love more than anything. I loved my job and was saving for a house, now the idea of going to work makes me anxious and the idea of being off work makes me equally as anxious. How long until I get back to normal?
  9. So I started Paxil up again at the end of august ...soon after diagnosed with bipolar, I realized when I started it worsened anxiety at first and I had daily rapid cycling moods .. it was intense but I continued.. finally panic attack 4 weeks in and my doctor said she knew this wasn’t for me..saw a pdoc finally and got off Paxil after 6 weeks..now it’s been 3 weeks and I still feel that agitation high stress body response like I had on Paxil ..of course I’m on lithium and seroquel too..I’m about to just give up on medicine..anyone felt like thier body was in constant stress mode ? Even after stopping?
  10. In fall, 2019 out of the blue, without warning, I had two vertigo attacks (different weeks). For 4 days after I had dizziness while driving to work. I learned about maneuvers to re-set ear particles and those helped. 4 days after the 2nd vertigo attack I had my first ever panic attack. Typical first-timer story: had no idea what was going on, went to the ER. All tests came back negative. Was diagnosed with GAD, even though I've never had an anxiety problem or depression diagnosis my whole life (middle aged here). 3 days after panic attack was prescribed lexapro. That's when the hell began. I've never had to take any medications at all my whole life, save for a daily multivitamin. For a few months I took some thyroid medication to reduce some elevated antibody levels but that solved that (about 7 yrs ago). Never been on any psychiatric med at all. The 9 weeks and 2 days I was on lex was the worst experience of my life. At times, unbearable anxiety, exhausted, dizzy every single day I was on it, random intrusive dark thoughts, brain fog... An anxiety attack 4 weeks into lexapro sent me to a psychiatric hospital for 4 days the first time when it caused intrusive passive suicidal thoughts (first time in my life). While there a psychiatrist prescribed a low dosage of lithium for "mood stabilization". After learning what sent me to the hospital the psychiatrist urged me to stop lexapro asap. We agreed on a taper...a very rapid taper. I went from 10mg to nothing over the next 5 wks or so. I couldn't wait to get off- unlike others, I never "settled" on lexapro...every day was bad and the introduction of the dark thoughts was the straw that broke the camel's back. Have been off lex for 5 wks now. For 3 wks main side effects while on the drug dissipated gradually (anxiety, dizziness, brain fog, dark thoughts). Then, in the last two wks, new problems: random nausea (no vomiting yet), often in the morning, but can happens at other times, too. Bladder issues: pain and feeling like I have to pee every 5 min. Insomnia. Random shivering chills, even though my apt is 72 degrees. Dizziness is now back, stronger than ever. Days/parts of days when I'm so exhausted and tired I can barely move around the apartment- a 5 minute walk outside is way too much. Periods of depression every day, with passive, vague dark thoughts. A Dr-on-Demand psychiatrist said to quit the lithium cold turkey about 10 days ago- did that too. Can't tell if some of what I'm experiencing now is from lex or lithium w/d. Am thrilled to be off all these terrible psychiatric drugs but have no idea what my journey will be like moving forward. Missed 6-7 wks of work while on lexapro. Am now working from home due to COVID (a blessing in disguise?). Can't believe that I'm still having problems when I was only on these drugs for a short period, but am now reading about people who never recover and have problems after only being on psychiatric drugs for as short as 3 weeks. That terrifies me. Never been diagnosed with bi-polar or any other mental illness. Have been to the ER 9x since Jan- almost every test you can imagine has been run...everything comes back negative/pristine/clear. I've never felt so awful and am not someone who runs to the ER when I get a paper cut but am tired of hospital Dr's yelling at me when I've gone ("You don't belong here! You have nothing wrong with you! Could you consider these problems are self-created?") even though I've felt I had no other option. Am grateful the blood, lithium, thyroid, CAT, MRI, blood culture, etc. tests all come back looking so good, but that somehow doesn't help how I feel. Hired a nutritional coach who had me try all kinds of supplements, most of which I reacted badly to: seriphos, tryptophan, melatonin, l-phenalalynine, amino acids, inositol. The only things that have helped me (mainly as I tapered) were nutritional supplements: magnesium, vit-C, omega-3, daily multi. Take 4mg zofran if nausea gets bad. Occasionally take .5 ativan if my anxiety is out of control and all my mindfulness, meditation, diaphragmatic breathing, etc. tools don't work. If dizziness and nausea is bad at bedtime will take a 12.5mg meclizine, but it tends to zombie me out the next day so I try to avoid that. L-theanine helps calm me a bit but I don't take those regularly anymore. Have tried chinese herbs- that mix didn't do anything. Have had 5 acupuncture treatments: 3 helped a great deal. Two didn't really do anything, and I actually felt worse in the day/s after (could have been overpowering effects of w/d, vs. the acupuncture treatment itself- can't know for sure). Have 4 acupuncture treatments coming up because those are the only things that seem to move me forward at all, when they do work. I get that most of the serotonin in the body is in the GI, so my current issues may be just the latest place lexapro w/d has decided to manifest itself. Tired of feeling I can't get a break. Tired of feeling that 1 ok day means 4-5 awful days after. Tired of feeling that at times I'm just trying to survive and fixing myself my next meal is a herculean effort. How long can I expect this parade of various side effects to continue after such a short lexapro history? Am I really bound to a lifetime of issues from 9 weeks of one pill? Just moved to NV 10 mths ago from central USA to take a new job. Love the job and new home but don't have any close friends out here yet and am single and alone. My faith in God is sometimes the only thing holding me together. Have never had such a disruptive or frustrating or debilitating health-related experience in my life. Desperately love (and miss) working out, but dizziness prevents me from doing most exercises and many days I'm so exhausted I can barely walk downstairs to pick up the mail. Does anyone on here have a lexapro recovery story involving awful w/d after only being on the drug for a couple of months? Would love to hear from you. Thank you for reading about my struggles.
  11. Hello all, Several months ago I was brought to the ER for bad vertigo, nausea, and vomiting. Had a pretty traumatic experience in the hospital room when I was gave an anti nausea med. I had extreme akathesia towards the point when I needed to escape!! The doc said all of the results came back fine.... the next day I had panic attacks due to the experience. Contacted another doc and told him that I used lexapro like 12 years ago and it helped panic. He prescribed me Lexapro. The next 2 months on Lexapro was crazy. Depression, increased panic attacks, GI issues, DP/DR, and the lost goes on. I continued taking them for the weeks because I was told it can be worse before it's better. After those 2 months, I did a quick taper in about a week. I was only on 5mg. I've been completely off Lexapro for about 3 weeks, and I am still having these symptoms but they've kinda morphed. These past few weeks I've been having extreme intrusive thoughts, and some paranoia. I've been thinking "what if I am the only person who is alive, and everyone else is basically just a robot". I question whether my family is truly alive, and can really feel me... Those thoughts lead to this feeling of hopelessness... Ive never had these feelings before. I am thinking that Lexapro changed there ingredients, because I didn't have these issues years ago... I feel like there have been some windows, but i am still scared.... would appreciate some input. Thanks Zach
  12. Hi everyone I’ve been on latuda since March 11th .I had switched from Zyprexa to Latuda I started at 40 mg and went up to 60 per Dr.‘s orders that being said that ended me up in the hospital for hostility and homicidal thoughts. I tapered myself down after the hospital stay from 40 to 20 to 10 into 5mg over the course of a month. June 21st I stopped. I know I went to fast that time I tried to reinstate the Latuda but it made me cry more depressed every day and gave me really bad anxiety, hair loss & a crap list of other problems. I’ve been putting up with hell for a little over 5 months. I saw another person with a success story here on the forums. I had reinstated to 20 mg September 8th through the 11th. I just couldn’t handle going back on it again my body does not like it. I recently stopped on the 11th was my last dose at 10 mg. September 12th through today September 15th has been ok I have had quite a bit of Anxiety and I can feel the nerve response that Latuda had on my nervous system trying to go back to normal. I cannot wait for that sensation to go away. I’m trying to keep busy and stay focused on being mindful and knowing I will get through it. I feel better off of it than I did on it and I’m praying it doesn’t overtake my willpower. My goal is to not be on an antipsychotic anymore. I will keep updating my progress here. Thank you for taking the time to read.
  13. hei kaikki, aloin syödä sertraliinia annoksella 25 mg-> 50 mg heinäkuussa 2016. Menin ylinopeuteen, olin hypomaninen ja marraskuussa lääke laukaisi manian. Minulla ei ollut lääkitystä tai hoidon seurantaa tänä aikana. Hakein ensiapuun, jossa sanottiin, että lääke on väärä minulle ja annos on liian suuri. Lääkäri neuvoi sinua ottamaan 25 mg sertaliinia. Söin tämän annoksen jopa 2 viikkoa, josta pysähdyin kokonaan. Tätä seurasi voimakas väsymys, uneliaisuus ja flunssankaltaiset oireet. Kolmen viikon kuluttua mielialani alkoi laskea voimakkaasti. Sain paniikkikohtauksia, itkin ja ahdistin. Minulla oli painajaisia ja nukuin huonosti. Tämä tunne kesti toukokuuhun. Sitten ahdistuneisuus ja paniikkioireet hävisivät. Silloin anhedonian oireet alkoivat. Mieli oli tyhjä, ajatukset ja muistot tyhjentyivät, muisti heikkeni. En jäänyt suremaan poikaystäväni kuolemaa. En tuntenut mitään, kun kävin hänen haudallaan. Pystyn itkemään, mutta todella humalassa, mutta nyt olen pystynyt itkemään myös päinvastoin. Voin nauraa, ja muut ihmiset aiheuttavat jonkinlaisia emotionaalisia reaktioita välillä. Musiikki on joskus herättänyt tunteen. Minulla on ollut muutama jakso, jolloin olen tuntenut itseni energisemmäksi ja paremmaksi mielialaksi. Olen ollut vilkas ja koko ajan. Lääkäri epäili, onko kaksisuuntainen kaksisuuntainen a. Keinot lääkkeen aloittamiseksi lamictal 2: lle ja ehdotti. Tämä on jatkunut jo neljä vuotta ja ihmettelen, kuinka kauan tämä voi jatkua? ja mikä voisi auttaa siinä? Olen vasta 27-vuotias ja minusta tuntuu, että koko elämäni on pilalla. kiitos jos jatkat lukemista. mutta todella humalassa, mutta nyt olen voinut itkeä myös päinvastoin. Voin nauraa, ja muut ihmiset aiheuttavat jonkinlaisia emotionaalisia reaktioita välillä. Musiikki on joskus herättänyt tunteen. Minulla on ollut muutama jakso, jolloin olen tuntenut itseni energisemmäksi ja paremmaksi mielialaksi. Olen ollut vilkas ja koko ajan. Lääkäri epäili, onko kaksisuuntainen kaksisuuntainen a. Keinot lääkkeen aloittamiseksi lamictal 2: lle ja ehdotti. Tämä on jatkunut jo neljä vuotta ja ihmettelen, kuinka kauan tämä voi jatkua? ja mikä voisi auttaa siinä? Olen vasta 27-vuotias ja minusta tuntuu, että koko elämäni on pilalla. not all, I started eating sertraline at a dose of 25 mg-> 50 mg in July 2016. I went speeding, was hypomanic and in November the drug triggered mania. I had no medication or follow-up during this time. I sought first aid which said the medicine was wrong for me and the dose was too high. Your doctor has advised you to take 25 mg of sertalin. I ate this dose for up to 2 weeks, from which I stopped completely. This was followed by severe fatigue, drowsiness, and flu-like symptoms. After three weeks, my mood started to drop sharply. I got panic attacks, cried and anxious. I had nightmares and slept poorly. This feeling lasted until May. Then the anxiety and panic symptoms disappeared. That's when the symptoms of anhedonia began. The mind was empty, thoughts and memories emptied, memory weakened. I was not left to mourn the death of my boyfriend. I didn’t feel anything when I visited his grave. I am able to cry, but really drunk, but now I've been able to cry also vice versa. I can laugh, and other people cause some kind of emotional reactions in between. Music has sometimes evoked a feeling. I have had a few period when I have felt myself more energetic and better sector in mind. I've been busy and all the time. The doctor doubted whether two-way two-way a. Ways to start the drug for Lamictal 2 and suggested. This has been going on for four years now and I wonder how long this can go on? and what could help with that? I'm only 27 years old and I feel that my whole life is ruined. thanks if you keep reading. but really drunk, but now I was able to cry also vice versa. I can laugh, and other people cause some kind of emotional reactions in between. Music has sometimes evoked a feeling. I have had a few period when I have felt myself more energetic and better sector in mind. I've been busy and all the time. The doctor doubted whether two-way two-way a. Ways to start the drug for Lamictal 2 and suggested. This has been going on for four years now and I wonder how long this can go on? and what could help with that? I'm only 27 years old and I feel that my whole life is ruined.
  14. Hello everyone, I hope you are all safe 💟 I have decided to join the community after reading many positive topics on the website, which I found when I was faced with the possibility of having long-lasting symptoms by taking Sertraline (Zoloft) 50 mg. I definitely wished that I found SA before I took the first pill, which definitely changed after learning that acceptance can help me prepare for different scenarios in these very early stages of quitting an antidepressant. Basically, I made the topic to share a backstory, find people who have a similar experience and receive advice from someone who understands the situation a bit better than I do. Backstory: I am a 20 year old studying pharmacy after two years of mental suffering to get to go to uni, and four years of toxic friendships and family-related trust issues. My growth was really a gradual shift from being someone who was happy and healthy to a warrior battling social isolation, identity issues, a shattered self-image and self doubt. I was studying to help people, to be transparent and give treatments taken after patients make informed decisions and I was truly convinced that since nothing has helped the recurrent depression I had for years, a doctor and a pharmacist can help me the same way I wanted to change someone's life for the better. I believed a medicine and a doctor would do the trick! I was always so scared to be exposed to anything from radiations to laser treatments, but the desperate state I was in and the blind trust I had in the medical/scientific community also encouraged by my environment (except for my father who struggled with iatrogenic effects from medications and was dismissed by many) made me wait one day to read leaflets and "medical" websites before I took the first pill of Sertraline. (Note: My struggle did not start because of lockdown, my depression was debilitating for years and stole the joy I once had. poor housing conditions and the fact that my mama, who gave me emotional support, was away and couldn't come back because of the pandemic took a toll on me. I was not speaking to the rest of my family, they also seemed depressed and for some reason I felt guilty for it. I couldn't live feeling barely like a human, nothing like my age, with parental responsibilities and with plenty of regrets and an awful lot of guilt). After taking the first pill, I felt ecstatic! it gave me a high that I never experienced in life (I never did recreational drugs) and gave me a good night sleep, but a day later that changed (and I knew that I might have sleeping disturbance in the first 2 weeks and that it was normal) and after 4 doses I found a website that addressed "PSSD" and read user comments and was beyond devastated. Everything I read was moving in the direction of (the condition can occur after only one dose, it's incurable, it's IRREVERSIBLE, my life is... over). Traumatized, but took the 5th pill because the advice was "do not stop it abruptly". I did not understand withdrawal, I still don't and the loss of sensation started after taking this 5th pill. Everything was too painful to live through, so I confronted my doctor (on the phone) and got the response "it has only been 5 days, it hasn't had enough time to build up in your system yet, side effects like sexual dysfunction are rare in women...etc.). Finally, he told me that I can stop the treatment NOW if I want to. Now: I have been off Zoloft for almost 2 months and I think I am noticing an improvement in the main symptom I had: Loss of sensation in my nipples and genital area. I mainly still struggle with loss of ability to express sadness or cry or feel intense emotions (really difficult), so please if you experienced this share with me anything that helped you. Also please share any ideas on how to spread the word so people who have started taking antidepressants during this time can get support or be aware of withdrawal before they start treatment. How can we get this to go MAINSTREAM? were you ever inspired to inform people on a larger scale? I am trying to find hope during a time of great uncertainty, since I don't know if anything I am experiencing is permanent, but as a first step to remain positive I decided not to resent my background and made a vow to be the voice of withdrawal sufferers once I get back to school and discuss these issues with the future generation of pharmacists as much as I can. sorry for this lengthy and robotic post, I hope I can get somethings off my chest and share personal feelings with many of you soon ☀️
  15. Hi! Was hoping someone would be able to give me any advice as I’ve been going through withdrawals for weeks now. I was put onto Citalopram 10mg in October 2019 for mild anxiety, I had no symptoms of depression. I was doing fine on this and felt good. I stayed on this until June 2020 when my anxiety got a bit worse and I upped to 20mg. Within a few days my anxiety had gotten worse, my mood was much lower and I then began to have suicidal thoughts. My doctor changed me to Venlafaxine 37.5mg even though I didn’t want swap to another drug, but trusted their advice! After a couple of weeks I decided I really just wanted to go back to Citalopram 10mg as this had worked for me before and for some reason when I began taking Venlafaxine I began to have very repetitive thoughts that I didn’t seem to be able to control. After starting Citalopram again, within a week the exact same thing happened as before- my anxiety was a lot worse, my mood was worse, I began having suicidal thoughts. All of these drug changes happened within about a month. A different doctor told me to stop taking Citalopram cold turkey, saying that I needed to be off it completely. I just went with what she’d said as I didn’t know what else to do, this was on 20th July (6 weeks ago). She said absolutely nothing about withdrawal symptoms. Within a few days I really started to feel very very down, my anxiety worse, I started to not feel motivated to do anything, not myself at all, nauseous, more tired and then began having repetitive and intrusive thoughts about self harm and suicide. A couple of weeks back I had a few days of feeling quite happy, but after this it was like my symptoms got worse, the obsessive thoughts got a lot worse and are still there now (though have now improved from that they were). My other symptoms are still there, though sometimes I feel them getting a bit better, but then find them getting worse. Just wondered if anyone had any advice. I’m guessing obsessive/repetitive thoughts are due to stopping the medication as they happened not long after but part of me worries I’m paranoid or something and it’s not a symptom of withdrawal?
  16. Muddles

    Muddles: desperate

    Hi there! Need a bit of advice. My father passed away Christmas Eve :-( I have been on mirtazapine 15mg for 4 years. Since my father passed I have been experiencing a lot of strange & worrying stuff which I can only explain as withdrawal symptoms from mirtazapine. Depression - severe, insomnia, mind chatter, body buzzing, twitches, jerks of legs/arms, panick attack, anxiety etc. I went to see my doctor as my friends and family are concerned. She wants me to up my dose but am not sure i should do it. Could it make things worse? I feel upping may cause more problems. I felt sooo depressed this morning and slowly withdrawing from everybody...scared! Thanks in advance.
  17. Well, who knew you weren’t supposed to just stop taking this stuff when you felt like it? Back in January 2020, I had gone to the doctor 3 times over a one month period swearing I had kidney problems based on some symptoms I had. After the third appointment and all tests coming back normal, the doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and prescribed 25 mg Sertraline. I started taking it immediately and within a few days I had developed limb pain. I didn’t relate it to the medication and actually thought it was a symptom of anxiety. Another week or so went by and limb pain spread to joint paint and then to this feeling of being bruised or punched in my thighs, stomach, hips and chest, even though bruises never surfaced at that point. I also had an off and on lump in my throat and my voice would randomly go hoarse. By end of March, I had rigid muscles, had gained 30 lbs and clusters of red dots and small bruises were forming all over my body. I thought I was developing a serious blood disorder and since I had seen a hematologist in the past for iron deficiency anemia, I was able to get an appointment without going through my gp. A few weeks before the appointment, around mid-April (so 3 months on Sertraline), I read online that bruising was a rare but possible side effect of the medication. I quit immediately to see what would happen, and within about three weeks the bruises, red dots and some of the pain disappeared. Everything was normal at the hematologists. However, even though the bruises went away, I had started getting these other issues like “restless arm syndrome” (only way to describe it), dizziness, numbness in feet and hands, muscle twitching, panic attacks and other things I can’t remember. After my appointment, since my blood tests were fine, I reinstated the 25 mg Sertraline in early May. I had no clue these were withdrawal and assumed I had developed either a severe neurological disease or Somatic Symptom Disorder. I still can’t believe I went back on the meds, but as soon as I did all hell broke loose. The withdrawal symptoms went away but I developed horrible muscle cramping to the point I couldn’t hold a phone, pain in response to any kind of touch including my pants rubbing against my legs or someone touching my hand softly. I had pain in my ears, eyes and throat. The bruises and red dots came back immediately and with a vengeance. At this point I knew it was the Sertraline. And I was only on 25 mg!! I managed to stay on for around three more weeks then quit cold turkey again. Right away I got a plethora of symptoms: -restless feeling all over -Muscle twitching all over body -muscle weakness -this weird warm feeling that started in the back of my head and spread down my spine (I no longer have this) -loss of coordination -pulling in my thumb, forefinger and cheek on my left side like they were trying to move themselves (This doesn’t happen often anymore) -brain zaps - not really sure if that’s what it is since it feels less like a zap and more like someone holding an electric razor up to my head in different spots. -Numbness/tingling in feet, lower legs, hands (I no longer have this) -Nausea -panic attacks -short of breath -forgetfulness -dizziness -loose feeling in joints like they won’t hold my limbs together -joint pain -cracking joints -muscle pain -buzzing in legs and feet -palpitations -feeling like I would fall down (I no longer have this) -this feeling in my sinuses like they would tighten and then clear up (this is rare these days) -general soreness -lump in throat -insomnia - often only getting 2 or 3 hours of sleep at night -acute fatigue (this feeling of intense fatigue that feels like I spent hours working out in the sun that will last maybe 20 minutes to an hour) -heartburn There were so many more I can’t think of. I’ve been off the medication around 4.5 months now, but not much of this has improved. A few of the scariest symptoms seem to have gone away, probably around the three month mark, and with the remaining symptoms, I have gotten a few windows recently. The body pains used to be constant, but now I get a few days off per month. This encourages me. At the same time, I’ve developed new symptoms recently like intense stomach discomfort, palpitations and the lump in my throat, although I had this when I first started the meds too. Many symptoms have gotten less severe/intense and that helps a lot. The craziest thing about all of this is that my highest dose was 25 mg! Not to mention I was only on it 4 months total. I’m really hoping I’ll be back soon to post a success story. I remember reading a post from a success story poster that basically said whenever a symptom would go away temporarily, even if it came back and hung around for a while, they knew it would be gone eventually because it had shown its weakness. I wish I could remember who it was because it’s completely true and that has really helped me get through the last few months. I'm not sure how to post my timeline in the signature, but it’s pretty short so I’ll leave it here. 25 mg Sertraline from January to mid April. Cold turkey mid April to early May. Re-instated 25 mg Sertraline from early May for next three weeks then cold turkey again. Have been off for 4.5 months and take no meds or supplements at this point.
  18. Hi all I'm a newbie, was made to CT zopiclone 18 months ago after being on it 12 years when my GP retired resulted in intrusive thoughts mainly thinking may have knocked people over while driving. After about 8 months Tried first citalopram then sertraline for about 6 months in total, been a total nightmare, made the thoughts lot worse don't want to trigger anyone so won't expand, also given me full blown OCD with compulsions, now literally have check everything before it goes in the bin. Did go though period of quite suicidal thoughts and crying every day, that has passed but still very low. Stupidly stayed on them too long as people kept saying they will work. Literally have no life, husband ends up doing lot of cooking as don't feel like eating. Frightened to go out the house because I'll start getting awful thoughts. I was normally functioning person before going on these meds, now realise even though life challenging before taking anti depressants was so much better than this'd I did have some sort of life. I stopped them 9 weeks ago. Tried everything CBT, mindfulness, counselling nothing helps. The OCD crippling never had this before in my life, just terrified will be like the forever
  19. Hi everyone, After many months of reading and gaining some hope and encouragement from the stories here I decided to join your great forum. Sorry, but this is a very long story. Im a 39 year old male from Australia and I have been taking ssri’s for GAD for the last 10 years. I started on Paxil 20mg for around 18 months and was switched to lexapro 10mg due to weight gain, sexual dysfunction and fatigue. Lexapro was a little better but I really didn’t feel like it was doing much apart from keeping the weight up and the motivation down. I am 6’2 and was always skinny, I never could bulk up. Paxil took me from 78kg and healthy to 100kg and always sweaty in around 12 months. I tried a few times to simply stop the meds but had no idea about withdrawal or tapering and always ended up reinstating due to awful side effects (rage, crying spells etc). The drs always said thats just how you are off the meds...... keep taking them for the rest of your life. They also upped my dosage a few times but I quickly went back to 10mg. In 2017 I felt lexapro wasn’t being effective so the dr straight swapped me to Valdoxan for a few weeks and I felt awful. They then straight swapped me to Prozac and around 4 days into taking that I woke in the middle of the night to terrible ringing in my ears. This was my first introduction to tinnitus. I freaked out and asked to be put back on lexapro. I reinstated at 10mg again and everything calmed down after about 7-8 weeks of hell. The tinnitus that was in both ears and the middle of my head reduced to a tiny amount only in my left ear. I now know this was likely my last chance at reinstatement working for me..... more on that soon. So another few years went past and the side effects of weight gain, heat intolerance, sexual dysfunction and the general feeling of “blah” were just too much for me to handle. I began a taper in January of 2019 and went from 10mg to 7.5mg for 4 weeks. I then went to 5mg for 4 weeks and finally 2.5mg for 4 weeks. I felt okay during the taper, my tinnitus was a little bit louder but not enough to bother me, I was more irritable and I had brain zaps. The real “fun” began around 12 weeks after the taper off the medication...... I had a panic attack and fell into one of the episodes that put me on meds in the first place. These were purely anxiety driven and I never felt depressed. I’ve had them since about 13 years of age and I always recovered from them and they lasted from 1 to 3 months usually. They would encompass intrusive thoughts, shakes and shivers, anxiety and panic only. So I decided to jump straight back on the lexapro 10mg thinking all these drs are right and I’m doomed to be on meds for the rest of my life. But something happened that didn’t happen before..... they didn’t work. After a few weeks I felt worse and my ears started to really scream, I had awful insomnia and a really bad eczema rash appeared on my chest and legs. I now know this as a severe reaction to the meds after too fast a taper and too fast of a reinstatement. If I had not jumped straight back on the meds I likely would have had to deal with wd symptoms only and not so many physical ones as well. So after 6 weeks of hell my dr upped my dose to 20mg and I waited another 5 weeks. That didn’t work either, just got worse. My dr referred me to a psychiatrist at this point and things got really bad. He upped my dose to 40mg lexapro, I stuck this out for another 5-6 weeks and it made me no better, actually worse. He then said ssri’s don’t seem to work for you now so let’s try Effexor. We cross tapered that with the lexapro over only a two week period and then all the way to 150mg of Effexor in only 3 weeks. I was desperate and wanted the pain and suffering to just stop. I did consider suicide a lot during this period and I had never been like this before when taking medication. My beautiful partner kept me here with her love and grace. I stuck with the Effexor for 7 weeks and it was just hell, dizziness, insomnia and mini seizure type things were a daily occurrence. I was couch bound and I still had tinnitus screaming away every day. He wanted to up the dose more but by this stage I knew that my body was not accepting any of these meds, I even said to him I think I am having a reaction to these meds. His answer was always that they just make you feel worse before better and that we can keep upping the dose...... That was the last time I saw him, I went back to my GP and asked to try Zoloft in a last ditch attempt to gain some stability and sanity. She cross tapered me to Zoloft and it seemed to calm things down a tiny bit but I was still so, so sick. I made it up to 100mg and was on Zoloft for 3 months before massive amounts of diarrhoea hit me (colitis) plus I was still struggling with SI, tinnitus and now bad depression for the first time in my life. All the fun stuff that comes along with bad reactions to these meds. My Dr CT’d me off the Zoloft and started me on Remeron 30mg..... this one was ok for my sleep issues but made me irritable as hell and didn’t have any effect on the SI, depression and tinnitus. I lasted 6 weeks on it before breaking down again and seeing the Dr. She mentioned Paxil...... like I said, I was desperate and since it worked 10 years ago maybe it would pull me out of this living hell I was in. Since the first episode after WD in June of 2019 and the living hell my life has been, I started Paxil 20mg in April 2020..... this lasted all of 12 weeks and I CT’d the Paxil in July 2020 due to all the above still happening. I happened to come across the SA website in June this year After desperately searching for answers. I’ve read and learnt a lot from everyone and now understand what has happened to me the last 12 months. How I should have tapered waaayyyy slower, how I should have reinstated waaayyy slower and how screwed up our medical system and the makers of these drugs are. I have been med free for 9 weeks and even though I still have loud tinnitus, depression and a host of other Awful symptoms, I have improved more then any time I was on meds. I’m bloody scared of what’s ahead but I will NEVER touch another psych med again in my life. I assume reinstatement is beyond my body now after what it has endured. I hope to be able to vent a little here on my bad days and keep reading the encouraging stories of success whilst pushing on with my life and the healing process. Thanks for taking the time to read my book.... 😂 And thanks to the creators of such a great site.
  20. Hello, I am a 31 years old italian doctor. I was prescribed amytriptiline for tension headache by a neurologist. I started with a very small dose ( 2 drops 4 mg First 3 days and 6 mg 9 days). After the second days i started to have fasciculations so on the 12th day i stopped cold Turkey because the doc said the dose was so small and also the duration that i could Just stop It. So i did but u started to have burn all over my body, head shakiness specially during the night, bad fasciculations, my heartbeats changed became faster but less Powerful. I cant stand now and im intolerant to efforts. Ive Lost 7 lgs of muscles and i had tonic breats which Is now fluffy. Also i had mental changes, in part due to the med (brain noise) and i cant feeel emotions, only desperation. This made me so depressed i wanted to die and ive got checked by a neurologist Who told me It was fine so send me to a psychiatrist Who put me on Prozac. I also dont have sensitivity all over my body and this effect also my sexual sensitivity. What do you think? I think It Is a permanent damage. Maybe the drug destroyed some neuronal cells (muscles, sensitivity and brain ). Do you have any advice? Thank you, Beatrice
  21. Hi, my name is Aember and I have had severe negative reactions to SSRIs after very fee doses. I have been sick since January 2020 with a mystery degenerative neurological condition that is affecting my ability to think and feel. I am experiencing progressive dementia and confusion. Here is my story: Have had mystery neurological illness since Jan 2020, started with delirium, a flu and then a gastrointestinal flu that woke me up with a pounding heart and nocturnal defecation for months and body temp above 99 -101F. Sleep became interrupted with very vivid dreams and bizarre hypnagogic states. Started hypersalivating. Vision became altered, blurry at distance, slightly photosensitive. Extreme fatigue and bed in early evening, sleeping in and off until noon. Increased red pinpoint angiomas developing all over my body. Gradually became anhedonic in March 2020, unable to laugh or cry. Confusion and anxiety increased. Was put on Seroquel 25 mg end of March 2020, immediately had some involuntary movement so stopped after 1 dose. Switched to Trazodone 2 days later and had an extreme Akathesia episode with involuntary movement, was up for 24 hours pacing and raging internally. The next week was put on Citalopram 10mg for 2 days, immediately got dyskinesia (pill rolling, teeth grinding, twitching, teeth licking, bunny nose) with compulsive behaviour, vision became blurrier and developed horizontal double vision halos, perception of time sped up, switched to 5mg Escitalopram for 1 day, started muscle twitching, became flushed, feverish could not sleep (serotonin syndome?), next day became psychotic and babbling, compulsive, bit myself, could not walk. Hospitalized April 2020, put on respiridone 0.125 upped to 0.25 for 2 weeks. Felt weird hot icy burning in chest and esophagus upon initiating, had issues swallowing, voice got raspier, experienced increased hunger, constant fatigue and sedation, dry skin some teeth grinding and muscle tension on and off, vision worsened further (my left eye is now -1 and blurry, was perfect in December 2019), increased constipation, little change in anxiety, increased social compulsiveness (speaking without thinking). Started lactating. Quit April 29 after tapering to 0.125 mg for 3 days. Since then, I had episodes of dyskinesia and teeth grinding, bunny nosing, cramping in hands and feet, but it's gradually lessening as my body adapts to being antipsychotic free. I am still in a confused state (feel like I am about to pass out, cannot focus) with abnormal sleep emotions (cannot feel happy, cannot work) and decreased intellect (issues with spelling, time perception, planning, focus and my degenerative neurological condition persists as well as the hypersalivation and weakness. I am in bed all day.
  22. I'll try to keep this kind of short. I've finally decided to post an intro today after reading posts on this site for a few years now which has helped a lot with understanding what's going on since most doctors just told me my SSRI discontinuation/withdrawal symptoms-which were unlike anything I'd ever experienced before and physically and emotionally worse than I'd ever felt-were a return of my depression & anxiety or possibly a bipolar disorder according to one doctor. I knew for a fact that it was not my original anxiety & depression, but I had no idea what was happening in the beginning or how to explain it. I had social anxiety, depression, & general anxiety since age 12 and was not allowed to drive/take the bus/go out or do much by myself other than going to school (because everything was too dangerous) by controlling, religious parents with their own high anxiety and agoraphobia. I was never allowed to receive counseling for these issues & when I went off to college, it was an extremely difficult struggle going from not being allowed to do almost anything to suddenly being responsible for figuring everything out on my own. I was also not great with time management skills & knowing how to plan ahead. (I actually relate to a lot of symptoms of ADD & Asperger's, which both greatly affect social skills & ability to get through college and would explain a lot of problems I've had. I have learned more about them in the past year, but can't afford to get diagnosed right now so I've just been looking at support groups for days when my nausea is lessened.) I felt overwhelmed all the time and all my negative thoughts worsened severely. I didn't see the free counselor at college during this time either because I was embarrassed about everything and about asking for help. I finally decided I wanted to try to make a change and try counseling the summer after sophomore year of college at age 20 and was at rock bottom, desperate to not feel depressed. I knew someone who said their antidepressant helped them, so I asked a doctor for medicine and they prescribed sertraline. After taking the first pill, I had a surge of anxiety and racing thoughts that made it impossible to concentrate. Within the first couple days on 25 mg of sertraline, I was gagging and dry heaving over and over for at least 20 minutes as soon as I ate anything. I would also throw up multiple times in a short timespan after one snack or meal. I called my Dr & was told to skip a dose and then change the time I took the dose from morning to night. After a week of this (dry heaving & vomiting all meals) on 25 mg, and another call to the doctor, I was told that digestive issues are a possible starting symptom and to increase to 50 mg. As soon as I increased, the gagging & vomiting increased even more. After 6 days of this, I called the doctor again and was told I could stop taking it altogether since it had been such a short amount of time on it. And to come in for a different medicine Rx after the weekend. The very first day that I didn't take the sertraline, I felt the worst nausea I had ever felt in my entire life. I ended up asking a friend to drive me to the ER because I felt so sick. I told the Dr how I had just stopped sertraline. The doctor said that my pupils were dilated and my reflexes were overactive. Then, he listed off illegal drugs & asked if I had taken those. (No, I've never tried any drug before). He said "You need to tell me what else is going on because the antidepressant couldn't have caused this." And I said "I don't know" and started crying. I do know that people in my family are highly sensitive to medicines and have since found out I have a gene that causes me to metabolize slowly so things build up for longer in my system. Anyway, the Dr left the room and at one point I was given Ativan in an IV by the nurse which did ease the nausea. When the Dr came back, he told me I had SSRI discontinuation syndrome, (he didn't explain what that meant), that I could never try another SSRI, and gave me a Rx for a small bottle of Ativan. My mom said he mentioned something on the phone to her about serotonin syndrome which dilated pupils and overactive reflexes are symptoms of, but I don't remember him saying anything about it directly to me. He also mentioned reinstating a small amount might help but my mom didn't pass this on to me until much later because she didn't want me to take it. After that, I experienced: -more dry heaving which gradually lessened in frequency -random times of vomiting after eating and after exercising when I wasn't sick & the food wasn't bad (or sometimes nothing was left to vomit & only a small amount would come up) -continuing debilitating nausea & dizziness -olfactory hallucination (putrid smell that wouldn't go away, would intensify around strong scents such as soap & car exhaust) -uncontrollable crying at every tiny thing (neuro-emotion, not regular sadness) -uncontrollable rage (neuro-emotion) -intrusive thoughts & floods of bad memories which I "word vomited" in texts to my sisters -didn't want to be around people who I associated with bad memories because it would greatly intensify neuro-anxiety. (I'd guess the feeling is similar to what people mean who talk about experiencing bad drug trips and how it's important to be with people you trust) -nightmares -paranoia/suspicion/distrust (felt like my mom & sister were not really my mom and sister even though logically, I knew it was them. Things feel creepy & sinister -almost like a horror movie sometimes. A post I read here compared the sinister feeling to a bad LSD trip. I have never tried LSD, but I understood what they meant & is the closest way I found to describe it. -cognitive fog (thinking, processing speed, & reaction time is noticeably slower) (I was a slow thinker/processor before, but it feels like I have brain damage now) -memory problems (I was somewhat forgetful before, but am even more so now) -depersonalization ("it feels like the medicine changed who I am & I don't have an identity/sense of self which I still hadn't fully formed before sertraline) -derealization (feel emotionally disconnected & distant from people/atmosphere. I know things are real, but they don't feel real. Sometimes it feels like consequences won't matter or there is no sense of helpful anxiety even in a potentially dangerous situation. Logically, I know they do matter and still want to do the right thing) -anhedonia/apathy/emotionally numb (don't care about things or have the same amount of passion for interests or feel empathy for other people's emotions or feel spiritual even though I had some spiritual beliefs before. Couldn't feel hopeful about anything/future or feel love towards or from anyone. These emotions have slowly returned to a certain degree since then & levels of ability to feel them have changed at different courses of time) -blurred/cloudy vision (when DR was at most intense, vision was different. Hard to explain) -eye floaters ( random black specks & lines) Didn't notice these until a year after DC-ing -constant yawning/air hunger -stomach/digestion issues -burning, tingling, itching, numbness, redness in feet -brain zaps/"crackles" (sometimes annoying, sometimes painful, but my most tolerable symptom) -head pressure/tightness, feels like head is being squeezed -headaches There was also a period of 6 months where I thought certain symptoms were over and after that period, the dizziness returned. Those are most of the symptoms I've experienced in the past approx 3.5 years. They're not in order. I'm 24 now. A few have gone away for the most part (vomiting, olfactory hallucination, yawning) and most are less intense. I have really improved a lot, I don't mean to sound overly negative. But, I still have the issues I went on the SSRI for & I have trouble accepting where I am & worrying about where to go from here & the uncertainty of how long this lasts because it has put lots of areas of my life on hold (I wasn't able to go back to college, I hope to someday) and ended up making things harder to deal with when I was told it would make them easier. (BTW, I am now seeing a counselor). I don't understand why people say SSRI's are not technically drugs when they have this much of an effect on your mind, mood, & perceptions. Sorry if I have over shared, I might need to post a shorter version of this at some point that's easier to read. And I'm still figuring out the layout of the website & where to post about certain questions & topics. I just know that sometimes other people's explanations made me feel better because I had some understanding of what was happening & words to describe feelings I'd never had before and didn't know how to explain. I've also had other stress & health issues and a few (physical health) medicines that have affected my withdrawal progress, but I guess that's a topic for a separate forum. Any advice, similar experiences, recommendations, tips for using the site, or insight into what happened to my brain is appreciated if anyone feels so inclined :)
  23. Google translation: Good morning all It's a cry for help that I'm launching I'm 21, student and i'm living in hell In September 2019 I took abilify and brintellix 10mg for anxiety (I was not depressed) I reacted very badly to strong akathisia so I stopped abilify after 4 days and everything went back to normal order I continued the brintellix for 4 months without any worries In January 2020 I decided to stop the brintellix I did brutally without weaning In May 2020 the anxiety returned so I took the brintellix 10mg again but this time I reacted very badly: akathisia more discreet so after 3 weeks I went to seroplex the akathisia persisted so 4 days after sertraline same thing so 2 days after mianserine for 5 days the akathisia seemed to be less but it scared me so I also stopped During this period I was also taking anti-anxiety drugs for 6 weeks which I also suddenly stopped Akathisia persisted and even worsened and other symptoms were added: depression suicidal ideation anxiety myoclonus pressure behind the eyes bruxism strained jaw .. I tried propanolol pregabalin without any success So I took mianserin gradually two weeks ago up to 30 mg Here I would like some help or be reassured because I don't really know if all his symptoms are due to weaning from Ad or benzo I think it's irreversible, I seriously consider Death to this day. Thanks for reading me Original post: Bonjour a tous C'est un appel a l'aide que je lance J'AI 21 ans, etudiant et je vis un enfer En Septembre 2019 j'ai pris abilify et brintellix 10mg pour cause d'anxiete ( je n'etais pas depressif ) j'ai tres mal Reagis forte akathisie donc j'ai arrêté abilify au bout de 4 jours et tout est rentré dans l'ordre j'ai continué le brintellix pendant 4 mois sans aucun soucis En janvier 2020 j'ai décidé de stopper le brintellix je j'AI fais de maniere brutale sans sevrage En mai 2020 l'anxiete est revenue donc j'ai repris le brintellix 10mg mais j'ai cette fois tres mal Reagis: akathisie plus discrete donc au bout de 3 semaines je suis passé au seroplex l'akathisie persisté donc 4jours apres sertraline meme chose donc 2j apres mianserine pendant 5jours l'akathisie semblait etre moindre mais ca me faisait peur donc je j'AI arreté aussi Pendant cette periode je prenais aussi des anxiolityque pendant 6 semaines que j'ai arrete aussi brutalement L'akathisie a persisté et a meme empiré et d'autres symptomes se sont ajouté: depression idée suicidaire anxiete myoclonie pression derriere les yeux bruxisme machoire tendue.. j'ai essaye le propanolol la pregabaline sans aucun succes J'ai donc il y a deus semaines repris de la mianserine de maniere graduelle jusqu'a 30 mg Voila j'aimerai de l'aide ou etre rassuré car je ne sais pas ducoup si tous ses symptomes sont du au sevrage des Ad ou des benzo Je pense que c'est irreversible, j'envisage serieusement la Mort a ce jour . Merci de m'avoir lu
  24. Mihail

    Mihail: my story

    Hello, I want to tell my story and ask for help or advice - now I really need it. I apologize in advance if the text looks crooked in some places - English is not my native language, and I use a translator. It all started in mid-September 2019, when I was prescribed sertraline at a dose of 50 mg for OCD and the depressive-anxiety states that I had been experiencing for several years. I took it for three days when I had a severe panic attack, muscle cramps, tremors and sexual problems. Frightened, I decided to stop taking the drug, but just in case, so as not to quit too abruptly, I took another 25 mg on the fourth day (now I understand that it was very naive, and in any case it is CT). On this day, my obsessions worsened, suicidal thoughts and tachycardia appeared. The next day, when I was not taking anything, it all went away, but there was a feeling of emptiness in my head and tension in my muscles, and over the next few days my sexual function deteriorated again. The next week I went to the doctor again and told her everything. She stopped the antidepressant and prescribed Atarax to calm me down, which I took for about two weeks. For the next two months, everything was generally good (except for sexual function, which was not at the same level). However, in the third month, OCD made itself felt again, and it all started against the backdrop of that stress. Panic attacks, extreme anxiety, great difficulty falling asleep, depression — it was terrible. After a while, the situation began to stabilize, waves and windows began. The windows were nice but short, but the waves weren't as bad as the first. Yes, I was often under stress, but I could function normally. By the end of the summer, I could say that I was generally feeling normally, although I still had some problems with feelings, satisfaction, motivation, and sexual function. But at the beginning of this September, a dermatologist prescribed me five intravenous droppers with dexamethasone (4 mg), calcium gluconate and suprastin for incomprehensible skin rashes that covered my body at the beginning of the year and did not disappear since that time (now I suspect that this is also a consequence of an antidepressant). I was very wary of this but ended up making them. After the first time I had to give up Suprastin, since he plunged me into a semi-vegetable state for the rest of the day. But the remaining four with dexamethasone were done. The first few days, in which the droppers were made, everything was normal, but then there was excitement and restlessness. A few days later, a severe headache began, which did not go away for three days and did not allow me to sleep (on the third night I even had to take Atarax to fall asleep). The next day it passed, but after a few days there was a strong anxiety, fear of loss of control, neuromuscular tension throughout the body, difficulty concentrating and sleeping. The day before yesterday I cried most of the day, and last night the anxiety was so strong that I had a hysterical fit. Again, a terrible state. Was it due to dexamethasone? What to do now? The situation is further complicated by the fact that I fell ill for the fourth day already with fever, cough and runny nose. I need to take an antibiotic, the doctor prescribed clarithromycin, but after reading here about antibiotics and clarithromycin in particular, I don't want to risk it. However, I need to recover from cold, and sitting within four walls is simply unbearable. Are there more safe antibiotics instead of clarithromycin?
  25. Hey, I want to intodruce myself on this site because I´m suffering a lot from the Paxil withdrawal even though I have not taken Paxil for a very long time. I was prescribed to Paxil in January 2016 because of a Burn Out / Depression. While Cipralex has not taken the huge panic from me when my Depression/Burn Out started my Doctor said we should try Paxil. My mood was very quickly a lot better with the help of Cipralex but the panic was huge. I´ve never experienced a depression in my life so it was very frigthening to feel such a huge impact in such a negative way. Anyways after about 1 Month on Cipralex my doctor decided to switch on Paxil because "he made good experiences" with this drug. I asked him on which dose I should take it whereon he answered that 40mg should be fine. At this time I had no experiences with Antidepressents so I completly trusted his words and I took my first pill. I remember the first day on Paxil I woke up in the middle of the night and my whole body was tingling and I´ve sweated a lot. There were a few more symptoms but I can´t really remember this time. So after 5 month on 40mg I decided to quit Paxil. (See from my signature) As the symptoms from my depression slowly dissapeared I felt more and more that new symptoms are getting stronger. At this time I thought that I still suffer from my depression and that it will never ever end although I was doing sports at least 3 times a week and going to the psychologist once a week to talk about my problems which really helped me in a way. It´s hard to put my thoughts and epxeriences since 2015 in proper english so I hope you guys can understand me. So in October 2016 I found a german forum for problems with antidepressent and they were very helpful with me and my symptoms. This was the first time someone told me how dangerous Paxil can be and how tremendous the effects to some people on paxil are. They also tried to convince me to taper the drug really slowly off but I thought the earlier my body is clear from this drug the earlier I get my old life back. The impact when I stopped taking Paxil 6 month ago were massive. While tapering it off it was really hard sometimes as well but the time I reached 0mg felt like the hell on earth. I wake up every morning with the feeling I just came out of a night club where I drank a bottle of vodka and snorted 1 g of cocaine. These are the symptoms I suffered the whole time on paxil. Some became stronger the lower I got, some started to fade away and some dissapeared. I copied some from a success story because it is exactly the same hope its okay: Dark depression, anxiety, paranoia, obsessive compulsive, panic attacks, intrusive/obsessive thoughts that tortured me, hopelessness, irrational thinking, suicidal thoughts, brain zaps, intense organic fear, severe inner-body tension that felt like my whole insides were clamped up, sexual dysfunction, severe tension, terrible shoulder and upper arm pain, mania, nausea, dizziness, vertigo, feeling like my brain was on fire, feeling like a part of my brain was missing, lots of preassure in my head, floating head feeling, body temperature regulation problems – being super-hot or cold, constipation, dehydration, lack of appetite, feeling dead, anhedonia, akathisia, mood swings, insomnia, terrible brain fog and inability to think clearly, sensitive vision and hearing, inching and burning skin, cold like symptoms, head congestion, phantom smells, constant tinnitus, severe fatigue and exhaustion, health anxiety, my brain was not able to give the "command" watch left before you cross the street even though I know how to do it ?!, derealization, feeling of never getting healthy again, feeling quite healthy for a few days and then feeling like dying again, intense nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night sweaty with delusions and disorientation, sometimes things seemed to moved very slowly or a street looked like it never ends or I was walking treadmill. As I said some dissapeared but some like the derealization or the dizziness, mood swings, ear buzzing, brain fog and so on are still there. But I´ve the windows and waves which is a good sign, right? I´m writing you because I can´t find something similar in the german forum. Next to the symptoms above I´m suffering a lot from Injuries. Almost every month I have a new injury and today I´m not able to do any sports because of the inflammation of my muscles and tendons. Sport was the only thing besides meditation which helped me to cope with the symptoms. A few days ago I was at my doctor again and we did a full blood analysis. He called me one day later and told me that my blood is totally fine but my CK-Level is very high (1200) normal is ca 200. I called a neurologist which checked me at the same day with a few standard tests. They were all good as well. Last year I checked my thyroid & my brain with MRT everything completely normal. Do you have experiences with injuries during wd? Is it normal to suffer a lot from Paxil even though I´ve taken it only for 1 year? I read that Paxil can cause damage on the immune system? Is this the reason for my injuries? If my immune system is damaged, is it for ever or can it heal like the brain? Best regards, Maggie
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