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  1. Hello. My pseudonym is Amy, and I'm a 34yo college English instructor from the southeast US. This is my med history in a nutshell. I was given zoloft at 10 to cover up being sexually abused at home and later various drugs for bp1 and psychosis at 14 including ambien and lorezapam as needed. Discontinued all meds but the benzos changed to klonopin at 18 which was kicked up to 1x day because it wasn't addictive supposedly. Resume various meds at 23 after abusive bf was arrested for CP and leave grad school. Discontinue benzos and various meds at 25 after a suicide attempt, become homeless, return to grad school and resume benzos and various meds at 28, discontinue benzos at 29. Two multi-week psychiatric hospitalizations in the same year while job hunting and establishing my career, continuing to come off benzos and living with parents for a year but improved significantly in the past 3 years. Current meds: lamotrigine 200mg, lithium carbonate 300mg, prazosin 4mg, quetiapine fumarate 50mg I also take full-spectrum CBD oil for inflammation My script for quetiapine fumarate is for 300mg but I've tapered that down to 50mg over 2.5 years. I know I have a steeper taper than 10% outlined below, but I've gotten off the others before without pronounced withdrawl symptoms if I do it over at least a couple months in the past. Seroquel is the one I'm afraid of and have drawn out for a much greater amount of time. I'll have a month off from teaching soon and the first month of the semester before things get crazy and would prefer to tough it through the first sleepless nights when I can sleep in snatches whenever like a cat. 11/05/21 taper start, 4 three week decreases by 25% (except seroquel) As of 11/05/21 lamotrigine 150mg, lithium carbonate 225mg, prazosin 3mg, quetiapine fumarate 25mg quetiapine fumarate will go to 10mg before going to 0. If it's too intolerable, I'll do a 5mg round. I'm not doing this with a doctor. I have enough refills to do this taper. My prescribing agency is hostile and was never willing to discuss med changes, only moving the dose schedule around. I want to get back into therapy. I'm an incest survivor and just went no contact with my father and very low contact with my mother. However, I'm having a lot of trouble. I have insurance, so limited to who is covered. It seems like no one is taking new clients with COVID putting everyone in therapy. Then I would need someone who would be supportive of me getting off meds. On top of that, I'm a detransitioner. I identified as a transman as a kid and non-binary as an adult but returned to my birth sex twice. I just won't tolerate being encouraged to believe that my body is wrong and that changing it with hormones and surgery is only option I have left to manage my gender dysphoria. I don't need that kind of reinforcement. At the same time, I don't want a therapist who will tell me my heart is wrong for being bisexual. I'm reading trauma books, journaling and getting more comfortable with my body through exercise, but right now finding a therapist feels tougher than finding a spouse. I also underwent low-dose ketamine infusion therapy in September, and it helped me find the perspective, confidence and courage to take this step. I always thrived better off meds. However, when a person is brought low by trauma, they call her relapsed and get her hooked again. I refuse their narrative. As a teen, I was a youth advocate for the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. I clung to my diagnosis as a way to have my misery legitimized. I always doubted the biomedical model and read the community mental health advocates of the 1970s before it got pushed aside by pharmaceutical funding. The reckoning is here for the immoral overmedicating of children Thanks for being here.
  2. Hi. I thought I would introduce myself. I am a 40 year old mother of 3 and have been on citalopram and lexapro for a combined 19 years. I've tapered before to get pregnant in the past. Those times were hell because I tapered way too fast. This time I plan to do the 10% a month taper and adjust as need be. I want to do it the right way. I've been preparing myself by exercising consistently and eating healthier. I tapered of klonopin and have been off it for a year. I didn't do the 10%a month taper with that. I cut my pills in 4ths and reduce a quarter a month at a time. It wasn't fun but I am glad to be off. I'm super optimistic this time around and I will probably be coming here for support and offering any I can.
  3. Hello. I’m a 31 year old female. Straight, single, no kids. From California. I am alcohol-free since 1/1/18 and don’t smoke or use drugs. I was diagnosed with anxiety in 2001, depression in 2013, and have had moderate to severe emetophobia for as long as I can remember (this contributes to most of my anxiety). My first time being prescribed an antidepressant was at age 12. I was on a low dose of Paxil CR after being hospitalized for mysterious ailments that turned out to be anxiety-related. I’m not sure but I think I was on that med approximately six months. I don’t remember having any issues coming off it. In my last year of college (2013), at age 23, I started experiencing a worsening of anxiety and depression symptoms and ended up back on Paxil. Between then and early 2016 I was on and off Paxil, Zoloft, and Wellbutrin. I gained a lot of weight from the SSRIs which started negatively affecting my health. I was able to get off the combo I was taking (Paxil and Wellbutrin) in 2015(?) with tolerable and brief withdrawal symptoms, and was having great success managing my life with healthy habits and talk therapy. That all came crashing down when I decided to buy my first house. (A decision I now regret!) The stress of it all made me start having panic attacks at work so I decided to go back on medication. I started with Zoloft but the second time around it gave me terrible side effects. Next was Prozac which was just a week of misery. So I finally tried Lexapro. It worked. But over the course of the next several years I gained even more weight, and along with unhealthy lifestyle choices, ended up with a type 2 diabetes diagnosis. Along with the type 2 diabetes, my absolute worst struggle is fatigue. I have low energy every single day of my life. It got so bad that I was almost fired from my job for excessive tardiness; I’d sleep though alarms. I actually ended up quitting that job and selling my house because my mental and physical health were sinking to their lowest. I spent over six months on disability and moved back in with my parents. I eventually started working part time. And now I’m back to working full time and recently moved alone in a nice rented apartment. The constant, everyday, debilitating fatigue is still there. I tried everything to remedy it, even had a sleep study done. Nothing. The sleep doctor said that SSRIs can disrupt sleep patterns. So through process of elimination I’ve come to the conclusion that my chronic fatigue is because of the Lexapro. Between that, no sex drive (and thus being single for the past 7 years), and the metabolic issues, I’m determined to get off it. Which brings me here. I first tried getting off my 15mg/day dose in summer 2019. I took the bad advice from a homeopathic doctor to taper down 5mg every two weeks. It was hell and even after stretching that out a bit, I had to go back to the full 15 and eventually 20mg dose after six weeks. I’m now on my second attempt to taper. I easily got back down to 15mg in January 2020. In October 2020 I talked to my psych NP (who’s been managing my medication for several years now) and she prescribe me liquid Lexapro so I can start a slower taper this time. I started off going down 1mg each week, sometimes two weeks if needed. I didn’t have too many issues. The main symptoms were fatigue, nausea, dizziness/lightheadedness, and brain zaps. January 22, 2021 I got down to 3mg and that’s where I still am because for some reason I’ve been smacked on my a** with symptoms. I’m experiencing all the physical symptoms above, but worse; now along with crying jags, derealization, irritability, intrusive thoughts, and depressive mood. They’re not constant but they’re enough to really mess up my life right now. (Pandemic burn out is definitely a contributing factor as well.) So I’m here on this site to navigate this last leg of my taper. Feel free to drop a comment, give advice, ask a question, or just say hi. I’m using this site mostly on my phone so I’ll do my best to figure it out and add my signature line ASAP.
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