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  1. Hello everyone, This is my first post and I want to apologize for my poor English, I’m a French Canadian. I will try my best! My story started in 2007, when my GP put me on mirtazapine because I was suffering a big bout of insomnia, following a stressful year. I was a young 27 year old woman without any health issue and I was very naive at this time. I trusted my GP a lot. Big mistake! I went to see a psychologist and did some cbt. This allowed me to taper down my mirt, so after 5 months of tapering, I stopped mirtazapine. Of course, no one has told me about withdrawal syndrome, so I thought that the rebound of insomnia (from mirtazapine) was a relapse. This is where my GP decided that I had a general anxiety disorder. I was now labeled. She put me on celexa 20mg (with seroquel 25mg). 4 months later, I got pregnant, so my dear GP asked me to quit Celexa and seroquel asap. I immediately stopped seroquel and I tapered down celexa from feb 2009 and stopped it by July 2009, at 6 months of pregnancy (My GP assured me it was safe for my baby). I already had the intuition that a rapid weaning was not a good idea. I didn’t suffer any w/d symptoms at that time and finished my pregnancy in pretty good shape. Few months later, 2 months after giving birth, I had a relapse of anxiety in the form of my dear insomnia coming back. Of course, my GP wanted to put me back on AD. This is where we started to have trouble finding an AD that was working for me. Celexa wasn’t working anymore. I tried cymbalta and it wasn’t working either. I tried Paxil and it finally worked. I stayed on Paxil for four years and a half. By mid 2014, after some stressful events, I started to feel that it wasn’t working anymore. My GP asked me to quit Paxil fast then switch to mirtazapine. So I quit Paxil within 3 weeks. After the last dose, I had very hard time for the first 3 weeks. Then she put me on mirtazapine 30mg and Pristiq 50mg. I stayed on this cocktail for some years. At some point, I asked my GP if I could stop my AD, but she explained to me condescendingly that I was like a diabetic with insulin, I couldn’t live without those meds. She was destroying my self confidence. In 2018, I decided to stop Pristiq because I wanted to have only one AD to take. I taper down Pristiq , by switching to effexor, relatively slowly (but more than 10%) and stopped it by January 2019. My GP upped my dosage of mirtazapine to 45mg to compensate. This is where problems started. I didn’t feel any w/d symptoms in the beginning, but slowly, during the next months, I started to feel more and more anxiety. By May, I had a big relapse of anxiety related insomnia. I overcame my insomnia with cognitive behavioral therapy, without any meds. This gave me some confidence so I decided to wean myself of any drugs. I started a slow taper of mirtazapine . I decreased my dose by 10% each 2 weeks. In august, I reached 30mg of mirtazapine and decided to make a little break from tapering and stayed on that dose for few weeks. Unfortunately, during that break, I’ve had the biggest relapse of anxiety of ALL my life! Of course, my GP asked me to return at 45mg of mirtazapine. But it didn’t improve my mood. Since then, I’m struggling with a lot of anxiety and I’m not able to get rid of it. I’m experiencing big mood swings. Sometime I see some improvement, then the next week I fall again in a deep hole of anxiety. I don’t understand myself anymore. It’s like I’m a stranger in my own body! Worst of all, 4 weeks ago, I started to have OCD like obsessive thoughts and that’s very unusual to me, because I never had OCD before and I'm 40! I’m actually seeing a good psychologist, but even with that, I’m not able to cope. So I’m here and I really don’t know what to do. I’m very desperate because I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I have the feeling that mirtazapine is pooping out and that it causes some of my problems. Maybe I’m always on the rebound of stopping Pristiq to. Who knows! This is why I would like to stop this drug and heal myself from all this toxic stuff!! Sorry, I had a lot to say... Thank you
  2. MOD NOTE: This is Gemma92's topic. Before Gemma joined SA her sister icerose posted requesting assistance. I've merged the two topics so that all of Gemma's history is in one place. _________________________________ Hello. I am new here, and I’m posting on behalf of my 26 year old sister who has been in a psychiatric unit for a week. My sister has a history of mild depression and functionable anxiety. She had occasional bouts of anger, periods of intense fatigue, and nightly hallucinations usually during sleep paralysis. She started having occasional panic attacks a few years ago. (The only psychiatric medication she had been on prior was Prozac during her childhood.) Despite her struggles , she was generally happy and enjoyed life. In August 2017, she had her right thyroid removed due to the growth of a large, benign nodule. Her anxiety slowly seemed to increase over the months and she experienced a panic attack after taking Benadryl (something that never happened before when taking Benadryl.) To help combat her anxiety, she started taking 10 mg of Lexapro in May 2018. Not knowing the danger of taking it intermittently, she took it whenever she remembered. Her doctor increased her dose to 20 mg which she took daily for 2 weeks. In early July, she developed strep symptoms, but tested negative for strep throat. Her doctor diagnosed her with laryngitis. Her throat hurt so bad, that she cold turkeyed off Lexapro because it hurt to swallow the pills. She continued to show symptoms of strep throat and was finally diagnosed on July 4, 2018. After 2 doses of Penicillin (and a couple days off Lexapro) she experienced an episode lasting a couple hours where her moods alternated between intense fear (needing to hold Mom’s hand, impending doom, confusion, depersonalization, terror from Hell) and fits of giddiness (giggling, silly talk). She hallucinated once during this episode (shadow in kitchen.) She stopped taking the Penicillin because she thought it caused the episode. Her doctor told her the strep would probably go away on its own. A week later, she noticed swollen lymph nodes on her neck (near collar bone.) She started another antibiotic which she finished. She started noticing increasing anxiety in the morning that would subside at night. She took Effexor for 5 days, but cold turkeyed because she thought it was worsening her anxiety. She lost her appetite around this time and had to quit her job. At the end of August 2018, she admitted herself into a psychiatric unit for 5 days. On one of the days, she had a fever and sore throat. It was not addressed. They put her back on Lexapro at 5 mg which she took daily for 1 month. During this time, she also took 0.5 mg of Lorazepam as needed. (10 pills over the course of a month) She cold turkeyed again off the Lexapro and Lorazepam because of bad heartburn and no help with anxiety. After this, she developed physical symptoms such as bad night vision, light sensitivity, ear ringing (stopped as of now), cold sweats (stopped as of now), bone chilling cold, dizziness, nausea, poor appetite, extreme weakness, chest pain (went to ER twice because she thought it was a heart attack), and mucus in her stool which was ongoing since before Lexapro. Her mental symptoms increased as well. Her anxiety became “anxiety from Hell” that resided in the pit of her stomach. She experienced impending doom (worse upon waking up), crushing depression, hopelessness, and inconsolable crying spells where she appeared to be very agitated. She obsessed over her health and started doing research. She self diagnosed herself with Lexapro withdrawals, adverse reactions, kindling, neurotoxicity, and brain damage. After seeing a psychiatrist on October 23, 2018, she started 15 mg of Mirtazapine. It dulled the massive anxiety, but brought out rage, verbal aggression, and threats directed at her family. She cold turkeyed the Mirtazapine after 6 days (last day was 7.5 mg). Her rage went down and her anxiety went back up. A few days later, she had a few hours a day where she felt like herself. (Was it the Mirtazapine starting to work?) A couple days before Thanksgiving, she went to the ER after a day of inconsolable crying, anxiety, and impending doom. They sent her home saying “there are too many questions marks in this case so follow up with your psychiatrist.” She had another intense crying/anxiety episode the following day where she was begging for help and immediate relief. She had stopped eating and drinking as was planning her suicide by starvation or going out to the woods to die. She went back to the ER via ambulance and was admitted into the psychiatric unit. After almost a week of refusing meds, she agreed to try 7.5 mg of Mirtazapine. It’s been 3 days since then and she is experiencing numbness in her head and discomfort on the ride side of her body. They are suggesting an antipsychotic (Zyprexa) or electroshock therapy. Since this nightmare began, she never stabilized on any medication and cold turkeyed off everything. She keeps calling me and begging me for advice. I don’t know what to do because I don’t know what’s wrong. No one has an answer. I thought maybe she had Lyme but her test came back negative. I thought maybe she had PANDAS because of the strep. Or maybe it is the fact she never stabilized on medication and kindled her brain. I came here for hope though because I’ve been lurking for a month and I know many of you have recovered from many years of psychiatric drugs and withdrawals. She wasn’t even regularly on anything for more than a month or two at a time. So we need to get her stabilized and we can begin to treat underlying issues. My question is how do we do that?
  3. Hi guys, I have been on amitryptyline 2 years now. It was for my stomach disorder. 2 months ago I started weaning off and developed severe migraines. Ended in ER and they gave me IV antiemetic that caused severe akathisia. I landed in psych ward. They upped my ami doze back and gave me meds to calm down and I was fine. When I came home I started weaning off ami again, but slower. Unfortunately it wasnt slow enough, I went down from 15mg to 13,5mg and 10 days later from 13,5mg to 12mg. And I developed severe migraines again. I didnt know what to do, painkillers wasnt working, so today, 10 days after weaning the doze to 12 mg I took 15mg again. And I developed severe akathisia back, Im so agitated and restless. I took propranolol, which was helping some before, and it helpes some, but its not a cure. Can You tell me whats the safetest option now to do? Should I take tomorrow 15mg again and try to stabilize on that doze? Or take 14mg, something between previous 12 and 15? I cant go back to 12 cause migraines were so severe that I was vomiting and was non functional, but also cant handle akathisia and if 15mg will give me permanent akathisia I dont know that to do. It wasnt my offending drug, Im shocked I reacted that bad 😞
  4. Potatoghost

    Potatoghost: Long story

    Potatoghost Hi sorry this is going to be a bit long but I'll try and keep it as short as possible. I was originally on citalopram 20mg for 5 years. It worked amazingly well for me after a bad bout of anxiety and depression. It seemed to stop working after 5 years so my GP added in mirtazipine 30mg. After 6 weeks of being on mirtazipine I felt severely depressed to the point I didn't want to carry on any more. And it would give me waves of dread and despair. So my GP took me off mirtazipine and put my citalopram up to 40mg. I slowly started having waves of feeling better and anxiety and depression free. At 12 weeks I had a big blip and the GP said they arent working for me anymore so switched me to sertraline 50mg. I only lasted six weeks on sertraline as I was getting worse and worse the whole time i was on it to the point i went to a crisis centre who got in contact with a different GP. Who said that 12 weeks wasn't long enough to see if citalopram was working after changing meds. So i was put back on citalopram. I made my way up to 30mg and stayed there for 6 months and had no relief in anxiety it seemed to get worse. Muscle aches Diarreah Brain fog Headaches Blurry vision Weakness Palpitations 24/7 Depression. Resting heart rate of about 160. I tried to power through because I knew I had to just ride it out but at 10 weeks the depression came back on and off but every time it resurfaced it was worse than the time before until I had a full breakdown again after 6 months of feeling so unwell.. So I have been switched to lexapro as they thought it might work as it's similar to citalopram which worked for me originally. I am 10 days into 10mg of lexapro and my depression is severe again. I'm fed up of being changed all the time and just want to feel better as this is no life to live. My partner and I are expecting a baby in 4 months and this has put the fear of god in me that I wont be well enough to look after the baby x Thank you and sorry it's such a long post
  5. MOD NOTE: Ihateeffexor created a membership and another person helped her to type the first couple of posts. Ihateeffexor is now able to post for herself. ________________________________________________________________________________________ Hello, I am actually writing on behalf of my friend who is in a very bad shape right now. She was on effexor for 1,5 years and tapered for 3 months 45 mg to 0. She had really bad withdrawal symtoms for 2 months after the last pill but then started to feel better. A couple of weeks ago she had some alcohol and partying with friends and ever since her symtoms has come back and they are much worse now. She was ok for 3 months but the alcohol seems to have made the symtoms come back, the day after she was drunk. Is this what you call kindling? And is there a chance she will recovrr from this? She is bedridden atm. Thank you all!
  6. 32 male Ok so gonna try and keep this simple but detailed if makes sense...Reinstated 6 weeks ago after nasty month long WD symptoms mainly tight chest and tremours towards the end and immediately felt good as soon as I took the drug one eve. I reinstated 5mg every other day then noticed a bad 2 days after a week which I thought was odd?? so took it every day. After 1 good week noticed a 3 bad days?? I decided to gradually increase to 10mg over space of 2 weeks as I read on here if having WD symptoms slightly increase a bit but not much but had bad insomina so went bk to 5mg! YES I KNOW BAD MOVE With in 2 days had the worst WD ever akathesia, no sleep, no eat, pure panic attacks that last 3 days! I stuck to 5mg and after 3 days felt really good again like nothing happened for 5 days till....last 4 days been having same problems but slight less akathesia but pure anxiety all day followed by panic attacks in the middle of them all with intrusive thoughts my questions- why the hell am I getting more bad days then good lately? Literally can’t function not working at the mo. Yes I know I yo-yo’ed but still I have stuck to five now for 2 weeks solid and not stable at all! judgin by my story yes I shouldn’t of gone down to 5mg maybe stayed at 8mg or something after reaching 10mg . But why am I gettin these crazy symptoms? Is my CNS sorting it self out? should I make my way slowly bk to 10mgs over the next few weeks-could run the risk of more disturbance? Or 20mg where I came from? ( currently packing for holiday freaking out how I am going to feel for week abroad in Spain but don’t want upset GF) All theories welcome 🙏 any questions please ask thanks
  7. Hey Everyone I am knew to this group and trying to find some understanding in what is going on with me. I recently went off Lexapro 3 months ago (was on for 6 years) I started getting very random heart flutters when I started it and that’s the main reason I went off of it. Now im experiencing weird brain crap and not just zaps. It seems to happen at night when im trying to fall asleep. It wakes me up and scares me it scares me. Some are brain zaps, some are like fireworks, some are weird sensations or noises- I feel like im loosing my mind. Any help or experience would be greatly appreciated.
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