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  1. Hello. I am severely kindled. I have quite a long story so please bare with me. I started on Lexapro 10mg in May 2018 for anxiety. I was never really stabalized on the 10mg and just told my doctor that it wasn't helping. She bumped it up to 20mg after a few weeks. She never told me to not just stop taking the drug apruptly. I thought it was like an asprin and I could just stop. Well now it's too late. So after about 2 months on this drug, I came down with strep throat. I was so sick and decided to just stop the Lexapro so I could work on getting myself better. 4 days later, I was put on Penicilln. After about 2 pills, I got extreme DR/DP and started acting all goofy. Then intense fear rushed over me and then about an hour later I was goofy again. I thought it was the Penicilln so I stopped taking it. Over the next few days I felt very weak and had extreme anxiety in the wave and window pattern. I told my doctor about this and she put me on Z-pack instead. Then same thing happened. I had extreme anxiety that was not a normal human emotion. It was drug induced but again I thought it was the antibiotic. After 4 pills, I decided to wait and see if the strep throat would clear on its own. It did but the anxiety continued to come in the wave and window pattern but I could still function somewhat. 1 month later my glands were getting swollen. I had thought that the infection from the strep was still around so my doctor put me on a third antibiotic. I forget the name but it was not a cipro class one. Again, the anxiety worsened and I could not take it anymore. After a week, I finished the antibiotic and told my doctor something wasn't right. The anxiety was so intense. She put me on a low dose of Effexor for 5 days. All my windows closed and I when I was at work I got a panic attack. The anxiety was so bad that I admitted myself to the pysch ward for the first time in my life. There they put me back on the Lexapro at 5mg, hydroxyzine and 1mg of Ativan. When I got home I kept thinking I was having a heart attack on these drugs because of the side effects and drug interactions but my doctor told me to keep taking the Lexapro for at least a month. I stopped the Ativan cold turkey after 2 weeks and also stopped the hydroxyzine. After a month, my anxiety was so bad and I was really struggling. I went online and found out it was the drugs doing this so I stopped the Lexapro 5mg cold turkey. I became bedbound. SEVERE anxiety, dizziness, ear ringing, flu symptoms, no appetite, sound senstivity, vision problems and so much more I can't list. I tried explaining what was happening to me to both my family and the doctors but nobody believed I was in withdrawal from such a short term use. I suffered horrendously and became suicidal. My family forced me to take another drug. Mirtazapine 15mg. I took it for 6 days and said that it was making too angry so I stopped. I continued to get worse. I only had a few windows where I felt myself. I could not do anything. I could not watch TV or even brush my hair. I was pretty much dying of starvation. I had dozens of ER visits and finally after 2 months, my family forced me into the pysch ward where the doctors put me back on Mirtazpine 7.5mg, and then 15mg after a week. They also put me on Zyprexa 2.5mg. The sedative effect helped enough to get me out of there and I could eat again. But once home and once the sedative effects wore off, I got worse. I developed anger and paranoia and psychotic like feelings. I was more suicidal than ever. And for the next 3 months my family kept sending me back into the psych ward where brands were changed and they upped my Mirtazapine to 30mg and Zyprexa to 5mg then back down to 2.5mg. I was dead. I was like a deer in headlights and suffering the worst mental torment one can't ever imagine. I had to lie to get out of the pysch ward and when I tried to kill myself again, the police handcuffed me and put me back in the pysch ward. This was about 3 months after they put me on the Mirt and Zyprexa. They cold turkeyed me off the Zyprexa 2.5mg and lowered the Mirtazapine to 15mg. And they gave me 1 Prozac pill and 3 Trazadone pills plus I was put on hydroxyzine many times too. I even tried pain killers for relief. Everything kept making me worse and worse. And of course I had a bladder infection so they put me on antibiotcs again. And I was even put on sterioids! So many drugs! All in an 8 month time period. So here I am on 13.5mg of Mirtazapine. It's been almost 6 months now and I haven't made any changes other than going from 15mg to 13.5mg. I have no windows. My symptoms are horrendous. 1. Severe anxiety 2. Terror/horror 3. Paranoia 4. Heavy cying spells 5. Burning brain/head pressure 6. Psychotic feelings 7. Anger 8. Suicidal thoughts and urges 9. Minor muscle twitches And more I am sure. But those are the most severe. I feel disabled and like a person with a severe TBI. I am holding on the 13.5mg of Mirtazapine for now. My sister helps me with making the the liquid. I am bedbound and suffering probably more than most people going through this. I lay on the floor and scream and cry for HOURS. And this all happened just from an undiagnosed Lexapro withdrawal after just 2 months. I would just like to know if even severely kindled people can heal and I would like an opinion about my taper. Please and thank you. -Gemma Drug history: Prozac (as a child) Right Thyroid Removed August 2017 Lexapro (10-20 mg) May 2018 - July 2018 (CT after 2 months) Penicillin July 2018 (3 pills) Z-pac July 2018(A few pills) Third antibitoc 2018 (1 week) Effexor July 2018 (5days) Lexapro (5 mg) September 2018 (1 month CT) Lorazepam (1mg-0.5 mg) September 2018 (2 weeks) Mirtazapine (15 mg) end of October 2018 (6 days) Mirtazapine (7.5-30mg) November 2018 (FT and currently at 13.5mg) Zyprexa (2.5mg-5mg) November 2018. (CT after 3 months)
  2. Hey Everyone I am knew to this group and trying to find some understanding in what is going on with me. I recently went off Lexapro 3 months ago (was on for 6 years) I started getting very random heart flutters when I started it and that’s the main reason I went off of it. Now im experiencing weird brain crap and not just zaps. It seems to happen at night when im trying to fall asleep. It wakes me up and scares me it scares me. Some are brain zaps, some are like fireworks, some are weird sensations or noises- I feel like im loosing my mind. Any help or experience would be greatly appreciated.
  3. Hello. I am new here, and I’m posting on behalf of my 26 year old sister who has been in a psychiatric unit for a week. My sister has a history of mild depression and functionable anxiety. She had occasional bouts of anger, periods of intense fatigue, and nightly hallucinations usually during sleep paralysis. She started having occasional panic attacks a few years ago. (The only psychiatric medication she had been on prior was Prozac during her childhood.) Despite her struggles , she was generally happy and enjoyed life. In August 2017, she had her right thyroid removed due to the growth of a large, benign nodule. Her anxiety slowly seemed to increase over the months and she experienced a panic attack after taking Benadryl (something that never happened before when taking Benadryl.) To help combat her anxiety, she started taking 10 mg of Lexapro in May 2018. Not knowing the danger of taking it intermittently, she took it whenever she remembered. Her doctor increased her dose to 20 mg which she took daily for 2 weeks. In early July, she developed strep symptoms, but tested negative for strep throat. Her doctor diagnosed her with laryngitis. Her throat hurt so bad, that she cold turkeyed off Lexapro because it hurt to swallow the pills. She continued to show symptoms of strep throat and was finally diagnosed on July 4, 2018. After 2 doses of Penicillin (and a couple days off Lexapro) she experienced an episode lasting a couple hours where her moods alternated between intense fear (needing to hold Mom’s hand, impending doom, confusion, depersonalization, terror from Hell) and fits of giddiness (giggling, silly talk). She hallucinated once during this episode (shadow in kitchen.) She stopped taking the Penicillin because she thought it caused the episode. Her doctor told her the strep would probably go away on its own. A week later, she noticed swollen lymph nodes on her neck (near collar bone.) She started another antibiotic which she finished. She started noticing increasing anxiety in the morning that would subside at night. She took Effexor for 5 days, but cold turkeyed because she thought it was worsening her anxiety. She lost her appetite around this time and had to quit her job. At the end of August 2018, she admitted herself into a psychiatric unit for 5 days. On one of the days, she had a fever and sore throat. It was not addressed. They put her back on Lexapro at 5 mg which she took daily for 1 month. During this time, she also took 0.5 mg of Lorazepam as needed. (10 pills over the course of a month) She cold turkeyed again off the Lexapro and Lorazepam because of bad heartburn and no help with anxiety. After this, she developed physical symptoms such as bad night vision, light sensitivity, ear ringing (stopped as of now), cold sweats (stopped as of now), bone chilling cold, dizziness, nausea, poor appetite, extreme weakness, chest pain (went to ER twice because she thought it was a heart attack), and mucus in her stool which was ongoing since before Lexapro. Her mental symptoms increased as well. Her anxiety became “anxiety from Hell” that resided in the pit of her stomach. She experienced impending doom (worse upon waking up), crushing depression, hopelessness, and inconsolable crying spells where she appeared to be very agitated. She obsessed over her health and started doing research. She self diagnosed herself with Lexapro withdrawals, adverse reactions, kindling, neurotoxicity, and brain damage. After seeing a psychiatrist on October 23, 2018, she started 15 mg of Mirtazapine. It dulled the massive anxiety, but brought out rage, verbal aggression, and threats directed at her family. She cold turkeyed the Mirtazapine after 6 days (last day was 7.5 mg). Her rage went down and her anxiety went back up. A few days later, she had a few hours a day where she felt like herself. (Was it the Mirtazapine starting to work?) A couple days before Thanksgiving, she went to the ER after a day of inconsolable crying, anxiety, and impending doom. They sent her home saying “there are too many questions marks in this case so follow up with your psychiatrist.” She had another intense crying/anxiety episode the following day where she was begging for help and immediate relief. She had stopped eating and drinking as was planning her suicide by starvation or going out to the woods to die. She went back to the ER via ambulance and was admitted into the psychiatric unit. After almost a week of refusing meds, she agreed to try 7.5 mg of Mirtazapine. It’s been 3 days since then and she is experiencing numbness in her head and discomfort on the ride side of her body. They are suggesting an antipsychotic (Zyprexa) or electroshock therapy. Since this nightmare began, she never stabilized on any medication and cold turkeyed off everything. She keeps calling me and begging me for advice. I don’t know what to do because I don’t know what’s wrong. No one has an answer. I thought maybe she had Lyme but her test came back negative. I thought maybe she had PANDAS because of the strep. Or maybe it is the fact she never stabilized on medication and kindled her brain. I came here for hope though because I’ve been lurking for a month and I know many of you have recovered from many years of psychiatric drugs and withdrawals. She wasn’t even regularly on anything for more than a month or two at a time. So we need to get her stabilized and we can begin to treat underlying issues. My question is how do we do that?
  4. MOD NOTE: Ihateeffexor created a membership and another person helped her to type the first couple of posts. Ihateeffexor is now able to post for herself. ________________________________________________________________________________________ Hello, I am actually writing on behalf of my friend who is in a very bad shape right now. She was on effexor for 1,5 years and tapered for 3 months 45 mg to 0. She had really bad withdrawal symtoms for 2 months after the last pill but then started to feel better. A couple of weeks ago she had some alcohol and partying with friends and ever since her symtoms has come back and they are much worse now. She was ok for 3 months but the alcohol seems to have made the symtoms come back, the day after she was drunk. Is this what you call kindling? And is there a chance she will recovrr from this? She is bedridden atm. Thank you all!
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