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  1. Hey all, I'm really glad to be here. I'm currently on Lamictal (118) and tapering off of it I was doing pill splitting before but I did my research and learned that wasn't a good idea and not as accurate. I would like some help finding support with measuring and factoring the water into the measuring for the liquid taper method. Back in 2017, I did the first half of my taper and went from 250-150. I remember struggling with a host of physical symptoms, especially GI symptoms with all felt quite disruptive but something I was able to tolerate at the time and at the rate I was going. Low mood and irritability was hard too. what I struggled with most was the brain fog and cognitive difficulties, and not only that but feeling really awful and depressed and hopeless about the brain fog and cognitive difficulties. I imagine feeling bad about all of that is something I might struggle with again as I start part two of my withdrawal after a long pause. I’m going slower this time but I know it gets harder near the end. I have very strong feelings of wanting to be off Meds, especially lamictal, which I’ll go into in my background story. ————————— Here's a little background about me: I was put on psych meds (Dexedrine) at age 8 against my will- my mom took me into both therapy and a psychiatrist hoping it would 'fix me'. My mom kept going on and on about how it was a miracle drug and how it would change my life for the better and fix something that was missing within me. She saw ‘outward results’ Meanwhile my inner world, I had skyrocketing anxiety and felt rigid, overly measured and controlled on this med. But no one seemed to care because I was more compliant and ‘successful’ and had very good grades. No one seemed to care about my inner experience, how I felt like a former shell of myself, or about the trauma growing up or the ptsd. All that seemed to matter to those around me was that I was functional and compliant. I’ve spent most of my life recovering and learning to believe that I don’t need fixing. I remember parts of my personality and essence before the meds. I was bright creative and curious. I was very sensitive and easily excitable and saw patterns all over the place. I embodied this chaotic non conformist energy and I once felt comfortable with that. I’m definitely neurodivergent but I remember what it was like to embody and bask in that without shame when I was younger. People quickly saw me as too much. I want to discover who I am as an adult without meds and the freedom to embrace my essence. —————————— My Lamictal and bipolar diagnosis story is a whole other thing but felt similar to my Dexedrine story in some ways, even though I felt quite different on this one. As a young adult, I was living with a deeply controlling roommate who saw my natural exuberance and my neurodivergence. She saw me fumbling through CPTSD and trying to recover but having a lot of big stressful life events and not a whole lot of support. In her mind, she was convinced I had bipolar and wanted to ‘help’. She urged me to talk to a psychiatrist— say certain things to them to get a bipolar diagnosis and get on meds. She was very pushy about it eventually threatened to kick me out if I didn’t get on meds. I admired her a lot at the time, was deep in my own shame, had not learned how to stand up for myself and scared of losing housing….so I did exactly when she suggested. I was put on a whole host of psych meds before I landed on Lamictal. I will write more about it in another post in this thread, but being on lamictal has been an awful ride and I felt numb spaced out and checked out. I just can’t any more and I need to get off of them and get my life back. I'm exploring ways outside of the mental health and Pharma industries to recover and treat myself with kindness as I heal I want to move as far as possible from the broken brain model. I'm struggling with brain fog and cognition issues due to lamictal and withdrawal and often feel stuck and lost and so far away from my essence and dreams. and I often feel shame around what I've lost due to the meds and I wonder if I can get it back. I wonder who I am without meds and what it will be like to live in my body and to think and connect authentically and fully embrace what I discover. I'm withdrawing to come back to all that and embrace deep interconnection. I value creativity, connection, interdependence and embracing every day magic and a sense of wonder. I'm non conforming on many counts and are hoping to find connection with others who want to embrace their authenticity and co create a world where others feel free to do the same. working on coming out of my shell and accepting myself. I'm leftist and *****. I absolutely love playing music and singing, connecting with plants and the more than human realm. I love in-depth astrology (hellenistic) and the spiritual realm
  2. Iam on following meds for 10 years Lamotrigine 25 day 50 night Devenaflaxine 25 day 50 night Mirtazapine 15 mg How should i begin tapering Which drug first And can all three be reduced simultaneously
  3. Hi everyone, Ok so I'm 1. Extremely grateful that this forum exists 2. Grateful I found it at this stage of my taper journey and not after I effed everything up. I am a 20 year old male. I was diagnosed at the age of 8 with GAD in response to non cooperation with parents / tantrums. (From what I remember.) Medicated at 12 with prozac 20 mg. Diagnoses and pills just piled on from there. ADHD and the merry go round of stimulants at 13 or 14. Many, many different antidepressants , way too many for me to remember. Gradually went from straight A student and avid reader to completely non functional midway through high school with sadness, hopelessness, inability to focus. Laid in bed all day, slept for days, could not get out of bed for school. (Worst of it was at the highest doses of lexapro.) Diagnoses at this point were GAD, ADHD, MDD, Panic disorder. was held back in school, put in partial hospitalization program (more drug experimentation), barely graduated. In 2019 before shipped off to community college my psychiatrist put me on Viibryd 20 or 30mg, Lamotrigine 100mg , Abilify 5mg. This was somewhat more tolerable, although I began compulsive and risk taking behaviors, and was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder type 2. Lamotrigine doses were experimented with up to 200mg, Abilify up to 10mg, Viibryd up to 40mg. (40mg Viibryd sent me into quite the manic episode.) Failed out of 2 semesters of community college. Hospital trip panic attacks were had. prescribed clonazepam. By mid 2020 I was fairly stable at the original doses of these 3. White knuckled through crazy brain fog and memory lapses, (almost all of 2019-2020 I barely remember) , somehow transferred into university, failed out of another semester and quit my job after I hit another wall of not being able to do actual schoolwork or job work from focus breaking down. Another hospitalization after deep despair. Abilify kicked up to 10 mg, began sleeping nearly all day, Drs concerned, lowered to 7.5mg. It was late November 2021 I began to question the whole thing and began slowly tapering Abilify , without telling anyone, from 7.5 to 5 to 2.5 and then cold turkey on new years 2022, simultaneously Viibryd from 30 to 20mg (where I remain) and Lamotrigine 125 to 100mg (where I also remain). Brain fog dissipated, focus came back gradually, I was able to read consistently for the first time since early childhood. Compulsivity dissipated as well, can get off my phone, no urges for illegal drug/alcohol use, began exercising, losing weight, healthy eating. Mood feels... completely stable? Not "up" or "down" ... I am now finding my coursework easy and fun. Kinda bittersweet after years of difficulty as you can imagine. Then: Insomnia and nasty joint pain popped up 2 days ago (11 days after last dose of Abilify). Wtf?? It was going so well? I started googling and found this forum, realized I went way too fast, and am now probably in for a wild ride. Anyone have tips on what to expect from here? How effed am I with the abilify withdrawal? Now I'm scared to tackle the viibryd and lamotrigine , I should wait for a while before tapering those right? What can I expect from the taper experience of those 2? Thanks
  4. I'm brand new to this site. I have been on the ride of psych drugs since my late teens. I started with sertraline, which I went off of cold turkey after six months. I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol for the next decade. Was put on paroxetine at age 29. Went off quickly when I became pregnant. I went back on paroxetine in 2012 and was on it for six years. It didn't help much, I gained a ton of weight and had decreased sex drive. In 2018, I went into crisis and began a horrific journey of medication chaos for the next two years. I can list all of the drugs I was put on, but not the length of time or dose for each: venlafaxine, fluoxetine, risperidone, escitalopram, bupropion, propranolol, trazadone, aripiprazole, lithium, lorazepam, lamotrigine, and a variety of other nonpsych drugs to counteract different side effects from these drugs. In the late summer of 2019, I began to taper off all medications with the assistance of my psychiatrist. I took my last dose of psych meds on November 17, 2019. I've been med free for over nine months. My mental health continues to be very difficult, but I am glad that I'm not compounding these issues with the torturous effects of psych meds. I know that psych meds seem to offer relief to some people, but they made things worse for me. I now work as a Peer Wellness Specialist to help others living with mental health challenges navigate their recovery. I'm just seeking connection to others who have had similar experiences with psych meds, as well as looking for more information to help others who decide to go off meds or need support with the meds they are on. Thanks for being here!
  5. Hello everyone. I'm CF. Been of psychiatric medication for 4 years, when I was a teen - due to depression and eating disorders. After switching many drugs, by August 2019 (discharged from last hospitalization) I was taking: 100*2mg Lamotrigine, 20*2mg Clotiapine, 25mg Promethazine, 400mg Seroquel XR, 60mg Mirtazapine. In the past: Lustal, Lorivan, Clonazepam & more I don't have documentation of. As of today, I take 100*2mg Lamictal, 400mg Seroquel XR and 45mg Mirtazapine. I am interested in lowering all of those, currently very interested in lowering Seroquel... I was never psychotic or manic. I was given Seroquel, Clotiapine and Promethazine because I was agitated and would self harm constantly. These medications did not change my situation; ECT improved my situation for a month, than went away. Therapy in last year helped a lot. -- My withdrawal history: - Prozac: 20mg (1y) -> 30mg (short) -> 60mg (1y) -> 30mg (1d) -> 0. Side effects: Unknown. Withdrawal: I had no adverse reaction at all, the day I lowered to 30mg I was given Remeron and started having tics. - Clotiapine: 10*3mg (?m) -> 20*3 (4d) -> 20*2 (6m) -> 20mg (2w) -> 0. Side effects: sleepiness (on 20*3). Withdrawal: No symptoms, more energy. - Promethazine: 25mg (6m) -> 0. Side effects: helped with allergies. Withdrawal: no symptoms, allergies still way better than before Promethazine😉 - Lamotrigine: 100mg (?) -> 100*2mg (3m) -> tampering to 0 in 2-3 weeks -> 100*mg (1.6y) Side effects: dry mouth. Withdrawal: Can not recall due to ECT treatment. I believe there were none but not 100% sure. - Mirtazapine: 45mg (1d) -> 60mg (10m) -> 45 (1m). Side effects: 60mg: tics (2h after administration, went away by next morning), sleepiness. The first day I was given Remeron I had tics and couldn't sleep, until I was given a sedative. Became better in the next week. 45mg: sleepiness. Withdrawal: Went from 60mg to 45mg in 1 day. Immediately stopped getting tics, sleep about 1.5h less than on 60mg (7.5h/night now). - Seroquel/Seroquel XR: 20mg (?) - 200mgXR + 20mg (?) -> 300mgXR (2y) -> 400mgXR (2y). Side effects: major weight gain, sleepiness. Withdrawal: not exactly withdrawal, but when I skip a night I have insomnia (2-3h sleep max), and when I skipped two doses - next day was almost normal (5-6h) with no side effects. Slightly sensitive/agitated on day 1 (lack of sleep?). I stopped taking Promethazine and Clotiapine in October-December 2019, Mirtazapine 60->45mg - since March 2020. These are the ones I can remember. I was given other medication before but I can not recall anything. -- My current situation is, my Psychiatrist refuses to let me try and reduce Seroquel XR because of COVID situation. I take XR is cutting it myself is not an option. Don't know what to do, I want to stop taking it, more time = worse withdrawal. I stopped taking 60mg Prozac with no issues (SERT, NET inhibition), Entumine (can not find mechanism of action), Promethazine (D2 and H1). I never had any issues with using brand VS generic. -- I interchangeably use: Lamictal & Lamotrigine; Clotiapine & Entumin/Etumin; Mirtazapine & Remeron.
  6. Hi everyone. I was diagnosed with major depression and an anxiety disorder in my early twenties, although I had my first mental breakdown/became seriously ill at seventeen. I managed to make it through university but had a second breakdown just as it was ending and have never fully recovered. I was first prescribed antidepressants (Effexor to start) at the time of my diagnosis and had a terrible reaction in the form of a mixed manic state, where I was both depressed and manic. However, I knew side-effects could happen and continued on through it as I was desperate for something to work. It did pass, but the nightsweats that kept me up all night eventually became too much and I had to go off of it. Over nearly the past decade I have dutifully tried antidepressants from every class, many different combos, as well as antipsychotics although I have never been psychotic, mood stabilizers, and benzos. Several years ago, I told my psychiatrist a long-standing fear of mine; that I thought I was treatment-resistant. I have one antidepressant that I feel may have worked moderately, and one that worked actually quite well for about a week - more about that later - but many of the others made me significantly worse and all had unbearable side-effects. My psychiatrist disagreed with me and tried me on more meds, but after my worst reaction ever last winter (Duloxetine) he finally agreed that I was, in fact, treatment-resistant. Duloxetine was the one med I thought really worked for me, but after only a short period of time on it I had a severe physical reaction with GI symptoms/vomiting that went on for over a month. All other causes for this but the med were ruled out through tests, and I became very ill/lost a lot of weight, and had to withdraw from it abruptly. The abrupt withdrawal was the worst I'd ever experienced, and caused a severe upswing in suicidal thoughts, and some sort of rage syndrome, which was completely uncharacteristic for me and the most terrifying thing I've ever gone through mentally. Anyway, after that, I wanted to try going off of antidepressants altogether and I had the support of my psychiatrist, who I had freaked out with my Duloxetine reaction and who at this point had put me on a useless antidepressant from the 50's, I guess as a last-ditch effort in his panic over my condition. He wanted to withdraw me from it too quickly, but I took a longer withdrawal period, and was able to do it! I'm currently off of antidepressants for the first time in many years. So I am no longer having the horrible mental or physical side-effects to the many meds I took, but am still suffering from the suicidal ideation that never left and am now at a loss as to what to try next. Not knowing what else to do, I asked my psychiatrist for a referral to ECT and was sent to an psychiatrist specializing in ECT, who approved me for it, but suggested I try a mood stabilizer first, as he said he'd seen many people who had treatment-resistant depression who actually had an atypical form of bipolar where they just hadn't presented with their first manic episode yet. This seemed sketchy to me, but again, I was really desperate. I was put on Lamotrigine, and have been having excessive crying spells, but it's impossible to tell whether that's from going off of antidepressants or the Lamotrigine itself. In any case, it's either causing crying spells or doing nothing, so I am currently tapering from it, and don't seem to be having the problems tapering I've had with antidepressants, at least. I have to be tapered from it fully to try ECT, as Lamotrigine is an anticonvulsant that would cause the ECT to be unsuccessful. I am also still taking Ativan, sometimes for anxiety but more often than not for when the suicidal thoughts get too much. I've gone off of Ativan before during times when I've been in a bit better place, so I'm capable of it, but I have to get the suicidal thoughts under control first. If anyone has any first-hand thoughts on or experiences with ECT I would appreciate it so much. I've been overprescribed by psychiatrists and traumatized by therapists over the years, I've only met the psychiatrist specializing in ECT once, and I just don't have much trust there or with anyone I've encountered in the mental health profession, unfortunately. I have done research and know the possible scary side-effects of ECT, but also that it has a much better success rate than antidepressants, something that I am pretty annoyed I had to discover on my own. But, yeah, I am still very unsure of it. I hope this is halfway articulate. Thank-you so much for listening.
  7. Trigger warning. She got StevensJohnson syndrome and was misdiagnosed with flu. Sensitive people please avoid watching. http://www.myfoxla.com/story/28552915/georgia-grad-student-has-rare-terrifying-reaction-to-common-medication
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