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  1. Been on/off SSRIs and even a couple antipsychotics for several years. Always had some mild anxiety but major issue and reason for prescription(s) was OCD. None of the meds ever had a huge effectiveness for OCD, but within the last year or so discovered Dr. Michael Greenberg's rumination-focused ERP therapy for OCD and have learned to manage OCD using this therapy (highly recommend for others!). Have been on paxil for over a year and recently tried to taper off. Started at 40mg and went down 10mg per month, although when I got to 10mg I only stayed on for a couple weeks before stopping. Had no idea this med was notorious for withdrawals or what a problem this med is, or wouldn't have even started it. Started having very mild anxiety issues when I was sleeping while I was tapering off, but was able to go back to sleep. Kept getting worse while tapering and still while I was completely off. Symptoms peaked around week 6-7 and was having full blown panic attacks at night and eventually just all day, weird pain in the forehead like a sinus headache but from panic/stress. Had bad hand tremors, dizziness, nausea and had to miss work but eventually just went back on paxil. This time 10mg in the am and 10mg at night according to doc's orders. Now on 30mg paxil. Been back on paxil for about two weeks. Noticed immediately it helped although still have heightened anxiety and twinges of pain like a sinus headache. Feels like no one really knows how long withdrawals from paxil last; have heard 2-3 weeks, 4 months, a year, etc. Don't think its relapsing because never had panic attacks and never had problems like this getting off or switching meds. Really need to get off this med, especially because it makes me so tired which is a big reason I wanted to come off now that I have the OCD under control. Hoping to get stable again and then start tapering slowly, possibly with the liquid form so I taper in smaller increments.
  2. Hi there. I am female, 41 years old, married with an almost 18 year old. I was diagnosed in 2018 with anxiety, depression and BP2. After my diagnosis I started to see a Therapist and Psychiatrist regularly. I realized I have dealt with these mental health issues my whole life and figured medication would be my saving grace. I was wrong. They made me a zombie and I was constantly sleeping. I had a suicide attempt in late 2017 and that is what started my experience with medication. I was in-patient for 9 days and came home with an abundance of new medication (please see signature for meds). I thought this would be the right step in the right direction for me. I had another close call with suicide in late 2019 and was subsequently hospitalized for that as well. Fluctuating between depression, BP2, hypo mania and anxiety was exhausting. Husband and I decided we wanted to try for another baby so my OBGYN suggested certain drugs be out of my system, hence coming off of them. I had been wanting to stop my meds anyways because I was tired of feeling numb. Psychiatrist took me off of my Depakote cold Turkey on May 19, 2022 and I decided on June 22, 2022 to come off the rest except my Buspar. June 22, 2022 was the day my IUD came out so it was the best time to end my meds as well, against my Psychiatrists wishes. So far the withdrawals have been probably run-of-the-mill (i.e. insomnia, nightmares, headaches, irritability, sweating, dizziness, body aches). I’m taking it one day at a time and trying to rest as much as possible when I’m feeling awful (like right now, while I’m typing this).
  3. Here is my intro thread: ☼-armorall-ct-from-bupropion-and-risperidone Hello everyone! I will relay all the important things that I think serve people in WD (as did me, all I ever did was read the success stories part), then if you want to read more details, there’s a more detailed account following the abridged version, lol. Dosage and Tapering: I’m a 46 year old cis-female. I took 150 mg Bupropion for roughly 4 months alongside 2mg Risperidone for 3 months then switched to 10 mg Abilify for 3 weeks then 20 mg Latuda. So basically I took an SNRI plus an antipsychotic for 4 months. All were cold-turkeyed and no one I touched, not my psychiatrist, his nurse, his resident, my therapist or my GP said anything to warn me about it. I found this site two weeks after I started having symptoms. Trying to figure out how to reinstate drugs was too tricky amongst mod discussions, so we decided that nothing was probably the best solution. Symptoms: I couldn’t sing, write/listen to music, watch TV/music, read, take my son out to parks because I was either too tired/depressed, or the activity would send me into paroxysms of anxiety. At work, I slept through all my prep periods and had to leave early/show up late often because I was so beyond tired, even after sleeping for 8 to 20 hours. I couldn’t eat, I lost 70 pounds in 3 months, I lost 50% of my hair. I had heat dysregulation that would wake me up at night (heat would roll down my body), my skin peels off like a snake. I couldn’t eat sugar or carbs or else it would hyperstimulate me or make me super sluggish. I have tinnitus in my left ear, I still feel tremors at night. If I turn suddenly, either in my sleep or awake, my heart will start to race. Eating food or taking naps will also stimulate intense anxiety. I had to wear sunglasses while using the computer because the light was too bright. I will never be able to take cold medicine, drink coffee or alcohol ever again as it will bring me back to being ridden with symptoms. Hypnic jerks, waking panic attacks, fractured sleep, intense fatigue, floaters in the eyes, sound sensitivity while sleeping, expressive aphasia, inability to exercise for more than 10 minutes because it exacerbates symptoms, I often mix up homophones, and my short term memory suffers. Sore muscles if I do things that are slightly outside of the norm (reaching for a can on a higher shelf, using an unfamiliar computer mouse, twisting my body to tie something that I don’t usually tie, different shoes) will make my muscles sore. Recovery: Month 13 - I turned my first corner. I suddenly stopped having massive anxiety/rage episodes after napping, eating or upon waking in the morning. Month 18 - I then hit another benchmark of improvement. I could workout for 30 minutes without any repercussions. Month 22 - I found myself fully recovered!!! What had happened is that a friend was DJing on the beach and we decided that was a safe enough activity to try. We walked two miles to get there, danced all night, then walked the 2 miles back to car, then I got on the phone with a friend in distress and was up until 4:30am- I got up the following day at 11am and received house guests and never felt any ill effect, no waves, nothing. I realized then that I was fully recovered. At month 22, I could: sleep more or less normally and take naps with no consequence, wake up early in the morning without effect, exercise or dance as much and as long as I wanted to, eat sweets with no effect, listen and enjoy music, movies and other media. I feel like my old vivacious self again. I can work all day, plan parties, and am very active as an activist. I am fully present to my family. My husband and I are now seeing a sexologist (highly recommended) since we had lost our sex life before in withdrawal. It’s fun! At 29 months off now, I still cannot drink coffee, juice and most likely alcohol. I also can’t eat massive amounts of starch (but I will) it makes me beyond tired. It did before WD but it is brutal now, lol. If I’m out doing some activity, I don’t notice it, but if I’m home, I’m asleep from the effects. My short term memory is slightly taxed (you know when you walk into a room and then can’t remember why you’re there? I have more of those), and I have more moments when I’m not talking rapid fire (like at work) and in a more relaxed situation (like laying in bed with my husband) where I have to search for the words I mean to say (ex. So…I was at the store and I uh…trying to remember what words represent my experience at the store). Nothing big and nothing noticeable to others. If I get too hot (while I’m asleep or during the summer sitting in the heat) my heart will start beating faster, but it doesn’t do anything to me emotionally. The biggest tip I can leave here is about “turning the corner”. When I was in withdrawal, I kept scanning and scanning people’s success stories and feeling hopeless. Like, they still list symptoms they still have and it made me feel like no one “really heals”. What I found though, in that month 13 when I turned the corner, is that turning the corner is really the most important event on your healing timeline. Of course you want to heal and feel like your old self again. But, what I learned from that corner turn makes so much of a difference in relief, that once you do it, you know you can handle everything that come after it with ease. I often tell people, don’t worry so much about gauging when you have totally made it to the other side. Just hold on until you turn that corner (which will come way earlier to you than when you completely heal), because I swear, once you do, you know you can handle the rest and you are not suffering so much. That being said, when people post their success stories and they still list some lingering symptoms (like me) know that they probably felt good enough that the bulk of their suffering is over, and that’s why they felt good enough to post. I know it’s true for me, I’m so happy to be able to be happy every single day and have energy to enjoy life and get things done. I do feel resilient and capable, and if I can’t drink coffee anymore at the expense of that, well, no biggie. Only detriment is that when I feel really tired, I have to go to bed, there’s no more pushing through it to keep working with coffee, and I’ll take that exchange over what I don’t have to suffer with anymore. Life is beautiful again, and it will be for you! - ALSO thanks to the crew here at SA, aside from trying an acupuncture/herb regimen at the very beginning of withdrawal (which was completely disastrous), I never ever took anything to try to alleviate the WD state. I think that helped me a ton even though I kept asking in the forums about various things to try and noticing how risky it was. I never ended up taking/doing any of it. Just sleep, fish oil and magnesium. That lack of tinkering with supplements, drugs and weird devices probably got me here quickly and in a solid manner. So, please hold off on those for temporary relief whenever possible, it will help your receptors come back earlier in the long run! - I encourage everyone to start dropping reviews and doing what you can to get the word out about our suffering (like sharing the movie “Medicating Normal” - I have the link you can use so people can watch the 56 minute version for free! https://www.pbs.org/video/medicating-normal-kinbho/) once you are healed or feel up to it. I am available to help you write your reviews if you want. Just contact me here or via FB. Link is in my signature. Here is a breakdown that I had on a calendar of what new symptom was showing up/then later going away month by month. Month 1: Insomnia Month 2: Tinnitus Month 3: sore muscles from slight, but unfamiliar activity Month 4: fatigue/depression Month 5: nervous stomach Month 6: getting worse, turmoil Month 7: just absolutely awful Month 8: muscle twitches at night Month 9: more depression, more muscle twitches Month 10: inner tremor Month 11: expressive aphasia Month 12: dry eyes and mouth, more head pressure Month 13: Doing better! No anxiety anymore after dinner or nap. No new symptoms! Month 14: lots of muscle soreness as I try to increase my time on elliptical to 10 minutes Month 15: I can now listen to music and watch movies Month 16: my menstrual period stopped becoming erratic and is a normal cycle can workout for 16 minutes Month 17: Can eat sweets again! No cortisol from taking a nap. Month 18: Can workout for 30 minutes! Can eat A LOT of sweets and nothing happens to me. Month 19: Workout 40 minutes, sleep well even after exercising late in the day Month 20: Average heart rate lower. Up to 1.5 hours of exercise! Can listen to music and it feel the way I did before withdrawal Month 21: Doing well! Month 22: Breakthrough! Dance and walked 4 miles, stayed up all night, still felt good the next day! Month 23: Done! Functioning and feeling normal and good. When to write success story? Extra special thanks to @Shep, @Altostrata and @Undiagnosed1 for dealing with so many questions and keeping me grounded and unmedicated. Special thanks to the following SA members for their constant positive feedback and support: @Superwoman, @mustafa, @Erell, @Glosmom, @coldturkmama, @Hanna72, @ChessieCat, @manymoretodays, @Sassenach, @DrugfreeProf Here is the long and detailed version of my account if anyone wants to read it, otherwise take care and ask all the questions and requests for support that you want! As you can see from my drug history, I started out taking Bupropion and Risperidone after practically forcing (meaning I didn’t know my rights in the hospital, I thought I *had* to do what the psychiatrist told me, I found out later I was wrong. I was hospitalized on my own decision, so I didn’t have to take anything) me to take it via the hospital psychiatrist. Interestingly enough, her reviews show that polydrugging and overdrugging were definitely her thing. One complaint said that someone’s wife was on 9 medications because of her. Anyways, so after debating with the doctor on how deadly psychiatric drugs were (and my crappy therapist calling my husband to tell him to coax me into it because “it’s the only solution”) I was on both. Two months pass and even though I was spellbound from feeling better when I first took the drug, in retrospect, I was the same or worse. What was making me nuts prior to being hospitalized was probably how crazy I was while breastfeeding. I had learned before that I really don’t do well with hormonal changes- couldn’t take the pill without it driving me crazy, couldn’t take the Mirena IUD- just made me hungry and I bled for 6 straight months while others usually lose their period using Mirena. Anyways, so when I took Bupropion and Risperidone, I guess one of the side effects of the latter is that it ups your prolactin levels (related to lactating). So, even though I quit breastfeeding because I was on psychiatric drugs, I was still as jacked up or worse on them. The wellbutrin was super activating for me, too. I remember taking it and at night my eyes just dried out into raisins and I couldn’t sleep until 3am. So later, once the risperidone built up enough, I started getting suddenly sleeping at 11pm and couldn’t stay awake if I wanted to. My psychiatrist took a blood sample two months after I started and noticed that my prolactin levels were high. The next time I saw him, he said he’s switching me to Abilify, and that I should cut the Risperidone in half, take one the next day, the other half the next, then start a half of Abilify and the other half the next day. Yeah, that’s his idea of switching me out. So, 21 days pass and I’m slowly becoming more restless. I can’t lay in bed long enough to put my son down for sleep. I go get a facial and they cover my eyes with something and I freak out and rip one eye cover open. Simultaneously, I’m becoming more lethargic. I stop caring about hanging out with my adorable toddler son. I’m a teacher so I’m off for the summer, but I keep dropping my son off at daycare instead of spending time with him. The idea of having to make him breakfast seems overwhelming. I call the resident (because I can’t just get a hold of my shrink) and the resident approves me going off it. My shrink puts me on Latuda. I have crazy insomnia, then I go off of it. I continue to have insomnia. Mind you, I’m still taking Bupropion. My therapist says that bupropion is too activating for some of her clients. I go off it immediately in hopes of sleeping. After a week, I could finally sleep on my own, no melatonin or anything. Mind you, my psychiatrist knew, my GP knew, my therapist knew- I had happened to see each and every one of them within a week of quitting. NO ONE told me going off cold turkey was dangerous. No one. A month later, I start the heck that is withdrawal. And I’m so lucky I found Surviving Antidepressants at that time, or else I would have been even more kindled. I did go back to my psychiatrist to confront him about not protecting me (the psychiatrist in the hospital *also* never said anything about cold-turkeying drugs being dangerous). He said that withdrawal only lasts two weeks and when I asked him what he thinks I should do, he said he’d prescribe me Wellbutrin again and Trazadone for my insomnia. I never saw him again. So, that was my “taper plan”! And, I was scared to death. Like many of us, my symptoms changed every month, and for the WD-addled mind, it’s so scary. Looking back, some of the changes were very benign, too, like muscle twitches. You can see it all in my history. Through all this, I read success stories over and over. I also got in touch with Michael Priebe of the Lovely Grind as well as Undiagnosed1 who had posted his story here and offered to be an ear to anyone who is struggling. Both helped me, I paid for coaching from Michael (and Baylissa for a time- yes, I talked to EVERYONE- Stuart Shipko, Ann Blake Tracy, you name it!) I know you are not supposed to cling to other people’s timelines and compare yourself to them, or stick to a designated time on when you’ll think you’d be done, but I did it anyways (and yeah, got yelled at by one of my coaches- I won’t say which one). I tried to tell them, it’s just a goal, like when people say they will lose weight by a certain time- if they don’t hit it, they just make a new goal, but it at least gives me hope. So the strange thing is, my timeline was very close to Michael and Undiagnosed1. I was suffering pretty badly about 3 months in, I wasn’t asked back to my school of employment because I was struggling so much at work, my husband served me divorce papers at 7 months in because he was done with me being a wreck in front of our kid and blaming him for my medication usage. The only thing that really saved me was Covid- the courts weren’t in session so my husband *couldn’t* divorce me. We saw a therapist and she said to take advantage of this time to see if we could heal together. With Covid outside, I was able to rest a lot at home. My husband somehow trusted me to be with our son after all that and my son and I would just lay in bed and watch cartoons together and eat or go out to the forest and explore, it was actually really nice as my body continued to buzz with withdrawal. The insomnia portion had really died down after month 5 and I was really, really tired more than that, but of course deeply depressed/anxious. My husband and I still argued, mostly it would be me waking up anxious after a name, then being frustrated from the toxic nap and us getting into it. At month 11, a new symptom was expressive aphasia (it was hard for me to respond with the right words). I was so freaked out and contacted two different people who had had it on SA. Both said they recovered from it (I eventually did, too). Miraculously, at month 12, something in me settled. Like, eating and sleeping stopped triggering such a harsh response from me. I was still pretty messed up, but the fighting stopped. I stayed on that level and taught from home that year, which was also much more relaxing of course than managing behavior and teaching in person. I stayed at that level, then at month 20, I realized I could listen to music fully and it didn’t make me anxious and I could find it pleasurable in the same way that it did before WD. Month 22 we went out dancing and I realized I was probably mostly recovered. Before, I was only doing like 10 minutes on the elliptical (exercise) machine and that was enough to bring on symptoms. Here, we parked the car almost two miles away, danced all night, walked back. Nothing happened to me, it didn’t throw me into a wave or anything. Then on the way back to our house, my friend calls in turmoil. I get on the phone with her and stay up until 4:30am, yet another thing that would have taken me out in WD. Nothing happened to me. We even had guests the next day at noon and I was fine, didn’t feel wavy or even wiped from the night/early morning before! So, I’m sure I’m leaving out a lot about symptoms. I kept a journal the whole time as well as every month I would list on a sheet as it passed, I would write down any new symptoms each month, then after month 13, started writing improvements at each month. I will leave that list in another post as I’m getting tired now. One thing I did notice, expressive aphasia was probably my worst symptom, and after I experienced that one, a month later is when I finally started to get better instead of worse. I remember Undiagnosed1 had kaleidoscope vision right before he got better. So, I wonder if you do get some crazy symptom right before you start feeling better. The biggest tip I can leave here is about “turning the corner”. When I was in withdrawal, I kept scanning and scanning people’s success stories and feeling hopeless. Like, they still list symptoms they still have and it made me feel like no one “really heals”. What I found though, in that month 13 when I turned the corner, is that turning the corner is really the most important event on your healing timeline. Of course you want to heal and feel like your old self again. But, what I learned from that corner turn makes so much of a difference in relief, that once you do it, you know you can handle everything that come after it with ease. I often tell people, don’t worry so much about gauging when you have totally made it to the other side. Just hold on until you turn that corner (which will come way earlier to you than when you completely heal), because I swear, once you do, you know you can handle the rest and you are not suffering so much. That being said, when people post their success stories and they still list some lingering symptoms (like me) know that they probably felt good enough that the bulk of their suffering is over, and that’s why they felt good enough to post. I know it’s true for me, I’m so happy to be able to be happy every single day and have energy to enjoy life and get things done. I do feel resilient and capable, and if I can’t drink coffee anymore at the expense of that, well, no biggie. Only detriment is that when I feel really tired, I have to go to bed, there’s no more pushing through it to keep working with coffee, and I’ll take that exchange over what I don’t have to suffer with anymore. Life is beautiful again, and it will be for you! So, what are my lingering symptoms? At 29 months off now, I still cannot drink coffee, juice and most likely alcohol. I do try every couple of months to drink coffee, because it was my only religion before, lol. Even decaf messes me up (not terribly, but I really don’t want to feel bad at all). I have found though that I’m much, much more peaceful and less anxious than I ever was before WD, because I was a coffee fiend in that past life. I didn’t ever believe that coffee was making me anxious, but looking back, it was. It wore me out, it made me more irritable. Nothing like withdrawal, but still. I am much more peaceful than I was back then and much less irritable. I also can’t eat massive amounts of starch (but I will) it makes me beyond tired. It did before WD but it is brutal now, lol. My short term memory is slightly taxed (you know when you walk into a room and then can’t remember why you’re there? I have more of those), and I have more moments when I’m not talking rapid fire where I have to search for the words I mean to say (So…I was at the store and I uh…(trying to remember what words represent my experience at the store). Nothing big and nothing noticeable to others. I’m really bursting over with life now, constantly enthusiastic, met all the dreams I had when I was in WD, teaching my kid soccer and music, really being there for him and my husband. Gone back to being an activist and loving it. My husband and I started seeing a sexologist (yeah, I had never heard of one either, she’s a friend of mine who was licensed recently, that’s how I knew about it- I can refer you if you want! She works with a lot of people who are suffering from PSSD), and now we are embarking on improving our sex life. I’m at 29 months out. I would have written my success story around 24 months, but I wanted to wait until I was teaching in-person full time so that I could really celebrate being in the space that was destroying me when I was suffering with withdrawal fatigue. One step or one yell too many and it was like I had lost all life and energy. I wanted to come back to the space and see how much I could finally handle it again, with all the love and energy I have for the profession and my children. But…it looks like with how often schools are closing and opening because of Covid, it may be a while before I can actually go back into the classroom (I am privileged in that I can make that choice), so I thought now, while it’s the beginning of the year, is best. I am absolutely indebted to all the staff here (which reminds me I need to make my yearly donation). Without you, I would be kindled and who knows what else. I’d like to shout out Altostrata, Shep, and so many others that helped me along the way. You are incredible and save and improve so many lives. Please please ask any and all the questions you want. I also included my facebook link in my drug history signature if you need to inbox me and it is full. As those before me, I am here to support you, and remind you that you will heal soon.
  4. Original topic title before reducing the length of it: I cold turkey’d too many things, the worst being Celexa, due to misdiagnosis and emotional blunting. I’m struggling. Let me preface this by saying I have had unstable mental health as far back as I can remember. I was an anxious and depressed child. I used to SH as a teenager and was put on Paxil, but I hated it and quit after a couple months. I did not use medication for any mental health reasons for at least 10 years after that. I have been told I’m bipolar by people close to me, and I think doctors eat that up and once you’re branded bipolar, that’s your identity. But that’s neither here nor there; the main takeaway from that is I was put on several different medications and hated the way I felt on all of them. My first return to psych meds was in the summer of 2015 with a diagnosis of GAD which turned into GAD and bipolar 2. I was put on Celexa 20mg. It was pretty good for a while. I was then put on Lamictal 150mg and took both, but the Lamictal made me feel like a zombie so I didn’t take that long. I kept up with the Celexa. After my gastric bypass surgery, the Celexa didn’t work as well. I was then bumped to 40mg and that’s where I stayed. I was starting to feel severely depressed, emotionally numb, and had anxiety creep back in so I was put on Wellbutrin 300mg and buspar 15mg on top of the Celexa. I took this combo for maybe a year but I was horribly noncompliant for the most part and it never really did much for me. I CT’d the buspar and Wellbutrin. I was to a point (and still am) where laughing felt like a chore. Crying is almost non existent unless it is a major sad event (death). Interest in things and smiling are difficult to come by. The only emotion I felt was rage. I was either apathetic or enraged. That’s when I was given the ultimatum to treat my bipolar disorder, as I was often verbally abusive to my SO and would have meltdowns. Jesus this is embarrassing. I finally gave in and started seeing a psych through telehealth. Big mistake, told them about my previous dx. That was enough to not even evaluate me, and I was started on some antipsychotics in addition to the Celexa. This was the beginning of a long spiral of multiple medications that ended with Latuda that made me so depressed I cried constantly. There was no tapering involved really, maybe just a two week period of dropping while introducing something else. I went through Abilify, Trileptal, Latuda, Abilify again, and Lamictal. My brain felt so fried at this point I said I’m done, and stopped taking everything except my Celexa. After stopping all of these meds I was so far depressed and anhedonic I decided I was done taking everything and needed a brain reset. I ended up taking 10mg Celexa a few weeks and then dropped to nothing after 6.5 years. After reading this forum, I realized this was probably one of my big mistakes. Now not only did I have severe mood disturbances, I felt physically sick. The physical symptoms went away after a few weeks. The last time I took Celexa was at the end of February this year. Now I am dealing with a whole host of other issues. It turns out I’m not bipolar, I have ADHD. Again, not knowing any better that I shouldn’t take anything that alters my brain, I’ve been on stimulants and back to Wellbutrin. NOTHING is helping. The anhedonia and apathy are killing me. I feel no emotion towards anyone. I am not interested in anything. Every moment is painful. ADHD meds are doing nothing for me. I guess I am looking for support. Advice. Anything. Something that tells me my brain damage isn’t permanent. Something that tells me I will feel emotions again, that I won’t think my favorite past times are a waste of time, that I will feel love towards my SO and family again. I felt emotional blunting with Celexa, but nothing like this. I don’t know what to do, and my doctor is useless when it comes to this.
  5. I have depression and anxiety. My former prescribing ARNP started me on Latuda to augment sertraline (an off-label use) but I didn’t notice any effects. We then switched 150mg sertraline to 20mg trintillex from November-December and I felt good but I had eye twitching and found out it was expensive so I decided to try an ADHD medication as recommended by my prescribing ARNP. I lowered my trintillex (I think to 10mg) and started the ADHD med but I was anxious and nauseous on it so I stopped and went back up to 20mg trintillex. A few weeks after that, I started having severe symptoms (see below). I have a feeling that increasing the trintillex caused my current symptoms but Latuda is not covered by my insurance so I want to get off it as well. I know I need to titrate slowly but I don’t know which one to start with. I was working with an ARNP and we discussed starting sertraline and then decreasing trintillex but she dropped me after I asked started asking questions about and wanting to change the tapering schedule. She discouraged me from stopping the trintillex alone and said my depression would get worse. Since January 11th, I have been experiencing debilitating anxiety, crying uncontrollably (for the first two weeks), nausea, vomiting, racing heart, heat sensitivity, insomnia, stomach pain, suicidal ideation, obsessive thoughts, memory issues, cognitive issues, itching, agitation, feeling detached, irritability, waves of panic, self doubt, and constipation. My questions are as follows: Should I start decreasing the Latuda or the trintillex first? Do you think decreasing the Latuda could help my anxiety symptoms even though it didn’t seem to have a positive affect on me when I started taking it? Would it be unsafe for me to start decreasing trintillex without adding another SSRI? Would it be safe for me to start on sertraline before dropping the trintillex? To the best of my memory: 2006-2010: sertraline 2006-2007: risperidone 2010-2016: took fluoxetine and citalopram as mono therapy 2016: trial Effexor for a few months 2016-2020: escitalopram (polyrugged with Wellbutrin) 2016-2020: Wellbutrin, months on and months off May 21-Nov 21: tapered from escitalopram to sertraline 150mg August 21: trial of lamotragine (rash) August 21: started latuda (off label) at 20mg, then up to 40mg and 60mg but back down to 40mg November 21: two week taper from sertraline to trintillex 20mg, experienced eye twitching and itchiness (5mg trintillex for 5 days, day 6 decrease sertraline to 100mg, day 10 decrease sertraline to 50mg and increase trintillex to 10mg, day 14 stop sertraline, 10 days of 15mg trintillex and then up to 20mg trintillex) December 21: quick taper down on trintillex to I think 10mg and trialed dextro-amphetamine for a week, 10-40mg, anxious and nauseous (1/2 of 40mg pill in am, then 1/2 pill am and 1/2 pill pm, then 20mg am and no pm, then 20 mg am and 1/2 pm, then maybe 20 mg am and 20 mg pm) December 21: quick taper back up to 20mg trintillex, some lip and foot twitching January 22: lorazepam for a few days January 22: clonidine .1mg-.4mg per day, currently taking .1mg am and .1mg pm January 22-March 22: ashwagonda, L-theanine, and probiotics Current medications: Latuda 40mg Trintillex 20mg Clonidine .1mg am and .1mg pm Fish oil Vitamin D Levothyroxine .112mg
  6. Hi all, glad to be here. Relatively new to the world of psychiatric medication. Here is my journey so far. I was on Latuda for a few months for mood issues (formal diagnosis of bipolar 2) and the stability was very nice. I also was placed on Guanfacine for ADHD. Back in early July I sunk into a kind of depression, I realized I took no joy in anything in life, whether it was hobbies or even loved ones. I had flat affect and lack of motivation and couldn't gain pleasure from anything. On the night of July 13 when I was laying in bed about to sleep, I had what felt like a multiple hour panic attack, with intense shaking and thrashing around. I was begging my partner to take me to the hospital but they wouldn't get up and I was unable to drive. Since that night I have been unable to sleep. I am not sure what caused that attack but I feel like my body is stuck in a state of constant fight or flight and the insomnia is intense, I have no idea how to treat this. Psyc. doc. thought the episode was a manic break. Seroquel was added to help with sleep, but it's been hit or miss whether it helps me get sleep or not. The dose has been continually increase to help with the supposed mania. Latuda was fast tapered and I got off by the end of July. Psyc. doc. thought the sleep issues were due to mania so I was placed on Lithium 600mg recently. I do not believe I am manic, and I feel the sleep issues are a trauma response. Recently I have been taking the Seroquel at various doses from 75-200 mg. I hate the way 400mg made me feel, like I was drunk and still didn't help me sleep. I think my body is stuck sympathetic nervous system dominance. I never get that sleepy feeling. Last night I took 100mg Seroquel and spent the night in a light sleep state where I couldn't tell if I was awake or asleep all night. This is exhausting, non-restorative and common experience for me lately. The other day I talked to my primary care physician re: insomnia and they suggested to not go to bed until sleepy. I ended up staying up until 3am then took 75mg Seroquel and got 3 hours of sleep. I am trying to be pragmatic about the sleep issues and pursue two treatment modalities: Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Insomnia and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Insomnia. As far as personality, I am feeling more alive on the days that I am able to get some sleep, which might be once a week. I am just scared of being on Lithium, I don't think I need to be on it. I am worried I won't be able to sleep at all without the Seroquel but I hate taking a pill to sleep, especially since it is not even reliable. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my psyc. doc., we have been meeting about once a week since July because they say I am in crisis mode and I just don't know where to go from here.
  7. Not sure how to make this post shorter, considering how much time has passed and how many different meds I’ve been on. I first got referred to a psychiatrist at the age of 14, for Clinical Depression. At the age of 15 I spent most of my days at an Eating Disorder Clinic, after being diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. Switched from antidepressant to antidepressant, mood stabiliser to mood stabiliser and never seemed to find the right fit, thought I was maybe just overly sensitive to negative side effects. At the age of 19 I got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and “suspected” Bipolar II because I experienced hypomania when having SSRI withdrawals, and again when I was on a high dose of Venlafaxine. I also got put on a Benzodiazepine for Anxiety, and got dependant on it for years, whenever I tried to stop taking it I’d get physically ill and have panic attacks all day. Eventually I tapered it off, although not as slowly as I should have, and got off them. At 21, I got diagnosed with C-PTSD. I am now 22 and have recently changed psychiatrists, since the one I had would put me on a cocktail of meds. I’ve been prescribed Wellbutrin (bupropion), 150mg at first, and Latuda (lurasidone), 20mg. After a week, they upped my Bupropion to 300mg. I’ve experienced many unpleasant side effects, such as dizziness, headaches, increased heart rate, inability to sleep for more than 2-3h etc., since starting these medications. Two days ago, just a few days after increasing my Bupropion dosage to 450mg, I had a seizure. I had never experienced that before. After reading about it, I found out that people with history of Anorexia or Bulimia should not take Bupropion since it does lower your seizure threshold. My psychiatrist was aware of my history and prescribed it to me anyway. I am extremely scared that it will happen again, especially if I’m alone. I don’t think I should be taking these things. Most of my issues come from trauma, and I believe the best way to overcome them is to discuss better coping mechanisms in therapy (I currently do DBT with an amazing professional). I really don’t think these meds are any good for me, but since I’ve been taking them for so long, I’m scared I may have damaged my brain and reached the point of no return. I have now lowered my Bupropion dosage back to 300mg, as advised by my psychiatrist. Does anyone have similar experiences, or tips on what I could do next?
  8. Hello everyone. I am currently on 20 mg of Latuda. I was on 40 mg of Latuda and it took a year to go down to 20. The problem I'm facing now is that 20 mg is the lowest dose. 1. I've tried making a liquid of latuda using instructions on this site but it doesn't seem as effective. 2. I can cut the tablet using a pill cutter, but to get to 10% (2 mg) is extremely difficult. 3. I asked about compounding but my insurance won't cover less than 20 mg. I called and asked and they didn't know really what I was talking about. This medicine without insurance is over $1000 a month. I am not wealthy. 4. My doctor said to take a half pill (10 mg) every 4th day. I told him I didn't do well with alternative doses. Even after I told him I'd pay for his time to authorize compounding with the insurance company he said it would be a hassle and a difficult conversation with the insurance company for little benefit. 5. I bought a precision digital scale from Amazon that measures 0.0001 g. I'll see if that works and if not return it. My story is a lengthy and complicated one to the point where it inspired me to write a novel based on my experiences, which is currently being edited. But I will keep it short. When I was 16 or 17 I was prescribed many different drugs I forget. Of course I had little to no say in this. One of them was Zyprexa. It made me stupid and gain a lot of weight. When in my early 20s seeing a different psychiatrist he said I was put on more Zyprexa than the maximum dosage. Eventually I tried Risperdal. Still felt stupid and had problems with weight, but since I wasn't on a Herculean dosage I did better. I then tried Geodon for various dosages that I did better in. I lost some weight and was mentally ok (felt like walking up from a dream). Then in 2014 I tried Latuda because I thought it would help with weight and help me sleep. Well I do sleep better but I've gained weight. Mentally I'm ok but sometimes I feel stuck and drink lots of caffeine and sugar to help "wake me up" which lead to their own problems. I was on 40 mg and over the past year worked hard to lower to 20 mg. So I think I can do it I just need some guidance. This is just my history with antipsychotics. I'll spare you my history with antidepressants, benzos, and mood stabilizers. But one of my great questions in life is should I have ever been put on antipsychotics in the first place and if they've done more harm then good. I've become pretty depressed lately because I'm 40 and single and overweight and feel like life is passing me by, and I think the antipsychotics are a big part of that. I have been labeled as "schizoaffective" and I know I'm not "normal" but no one ever sat down with me when I was a teenager and did a cost benefit analysis of what appropriate action to take. I was simply put on this medication without any discussion of long term consequences or alternative solutions. I'd appreciate any guidance or kindness you can give and I will do my best to offer the same in return.
  9. I developed paranoia in 2014-15 related to negative experiences at work. I was put on risperidone. It made me very sedated. For a long time, I did not realize the sedation was because of the drug. Then I discontinued the drug, and had a psychotic episode in 2016. The psychotic episode involved delusions and no other symptoms (other than negative symptoms due to the distraction and destabilization of delusions). During the psychotic episode, I lost my job and then was hospitalized. I was put on Latuda, but myself discontinued the treatment. There was something like remission, at least in functionality, although the delusions were never challenged and never resolved. My career got back on track in 2017, although my marriage was scarred by the first episode. The delusions came back in the Spring of 2020 after I had COVID19. I was put on Olanzapine and Fluoxetine. Because of sedation, I went off the drugs about two weeks after starting. I had severe insomnia, which magnified the delusions. This was my second episode. I was hospitalized again. I took Olanzapine (15mg) and the insomnia resolved. I was also prescribed Lithium. Later, I would realize that severe insomnia is the result of Olanzapine withdrawal for me. I retained my job but my wife divorced me, taking away our five year old son, in the summer of 2020. I am a professor, and I taught for a semester in the Fall of 2020. During the Fall of 2020, the delusions resolved through conversation with my sister. I feel that I have insight and that delusions are a mental process from which I now am largely protected, and which is not truly addressed through medication. I withdrew from Lithium during the Fall of 2020, and tried to withdraw from Olanzapine -- but could not without severe insomnia returning. I went on disability in the winter of 2021 and with the help of a psychiatrist and Ativan, cross-titrated from Olanzapine to Latuda between late December 2020 and early April 2021. Over the course of that time, the insomnia got better but far from resolved. Slowly, I came off the Ativan between December and early April. In late April 2021, I attempted to withdraw from Latuda (40mg). Latuda was causing cognitive side effects, which are my primary concern as they interfere with my line of work, as well as sexual dysfunction. Although I had no trouble withdrawing from Latuda in 2016, I had severe insomnia when I tried to withdraw in 2021. I believe that Olanzapine withdrawal has had long term adverse consequences for my sleep regulation. My psychiatrist was against the discontinuation of Latuda and when I told him about my discontinuation and the severe insomnia, he advised me to go up to Latuda 60mg. I have gone up to Latuda 40mg and the insomnia is slowly resolving, again, with support from nightly Ativan at decreasing doses to increase sleep. The discontinuation and resumption of Latuda has been a painful learning experience. I had been off Latuda for about three weeks before the insomnia became severe and was off Latuda for a total of about a month. During the first three weeks of discontinuation, I felt sharper and my sexual dysfunction was resolved. However, after the insomnia started, I could not deal with the 2-3 hours of sleep per night. It made me irritable, depressed, and cognitively deficient. So I had to go back on Latuda. At first, when I restarted Latuda this Spring, I had bad sideeffects (restlessness, nausea) but they resolved (they may also have been due to the higher doses of Ativan I was taking then rather than the Latuda). I am now waiting to come off of Ativan, and then for sleep to stabilize. I do not expect sleep to be great as it was before I started the Olanzapine adventures. But I need it to stabilize before I will try to slowly reduce my dosage of Latuda. I plan on titrating down as follows: 40mg->30mg->20mg->15mg->10mg->5mg->5mg w/o food to reduce its metabolism->0mg. I would take 2-3 months between each step, or however long it took for sleep to stabilize. I am also wary of titrating down while teaching (as opposed to during breaks). Potentially I may not be able to come off the Latuda (in 2016, it was significantly sedating but now, while taking it, I have insomnia that I believe is largely an after-effect of Olanzapine discontinuation). In late July, my disability period ends and I have to return to work. This will be stressful, although, I am doing my best to prepare for teaching this fall. The pending divorce is also stressful, and I feel a great loss because my son had brought so much joy into my life. My parents and sister are supportive, but they are on the West Coast and I live on the East Coast. I am lucky in many ways, including in that my sister is a doctor and we have become increasingly close through this difficult experience. I spend a lot of time reading psychiatric studies and ruminating on the future. That is how I came across ****** Framer's article, "What I have learnt from helping thousands of people taper off antidepressants and other psychotropic medications". Although I had come across your website before, ultimately, it was this article that led me to express my gratitude for your work and reach out to see if you may help. I am currently on Latuda 40mg and Ativan 0.5mg, with expectations that the Ativan will soon be discontinued.
  10. I have been lurking on this site now for about 2 months. I find myself coming here for reassurance in my darkest moments. Today, I am suffering so badly and I finally have the courage to share my story. I suppose this is my way of saying “I’m desperate”. It is it so hard to admit this – that things have gotten so out of control and I am legitimately afraid. I’ll do my best to recount my story but there is much that I don’t remember, the reason for my poor memory may become clear as I tell my story. Apologies for the length. After the birth of my second child in ’99, I was diagnosed with post partem depression and that was the beginning of the on-again-off-again latest greatest anti-depressant at modest doses over the course of 10 years. I never had classic depression, but had an “imbalance” that led to the blues now and again. I never noticed any withdrawal symptoms as I moved in and out of SSRI’s and SNRI’s – or at least I didn’t know what it was if I had them. In 2010, I started having a cascade of health problems. I’m sorry I do not recall what anti-depressant I was on at the time but I do know as the many random and disjointed symptoms came and went, the doses to help me cope and the strength and number of drugs increased. I really don’t remember. I spent 4 years trying to figure out what was wrong with me – at some point, I was diagnosed with Lyme disease and began taking all manner of medications to fight that and relieve my symptoms. By the time 2014 rolled around I was taking a basket full of drugs which included a good strong dose of Lamictal and as much Hydrocodone and Benzo as I wanted/needed, which, unfortunately, was a lot. Eventually, I took to my bed and couldn’t function. After months, I finally cried uncle that I couldn’t take it anymore – the pain, the fog, the drug side effects, etc. led me to ask to be treated at John’s Hopkins depression/pain unit. 6 weeks in-patient. I don’t remember most of my time there as they detoxed me, told me that I didn’t have Lyme and labeled me with Major Depression. They convinced everyone around me that I needed ECT to get my life back from “depression” and although it scared me to death, I went along for numerous sessions. My memory will never be the same. I left the hospital in the fall of 2014 feeling better but with prescriptions for Latuda (lurasidone) and Lithium. I believe I took those for 2 years as I hid out in my house in the dark, alone, feeling completely bereft of all emotion, motivation or joy. So around 2016, I changed psychiatrists to a “famous” Hopkins doctor and he took me off the Lithium and prescribed 80mg Latuda, 120mg Cymbalta, a low dose of Trazadone (for sleep issues-he never mentioned it was also an anti-depressant) and 50mg Adderall (to keep me awake and able to focus because I was always so fatigued). Still feeling stunted and dulled, lifeless & fatigued, I gradually reduced down to 40mg Latuda, 60mg Cymbalta, the low dose of Trazadone and 25mg Adderall and that is where I was in April 2020. Over the years after my hospital stay, I barely left the house and the couch. I was able to accomplish a few things and contributed to the workings of the family, but I really have had no life for about 10 years now. In January 2020, I began to be very agitated, anxious and fatigued every day- as opposed to the consistent hum of dull. I would get up in the morning, take my Adderall, drink 2 cups of coffee and go back to sleep 2 hours later. I wasn’t able to really function until after 1:00pm and really not function productively until after 4:00pm. Obviously, the meds were not contributing much good to my life. At that point I began to question everything, I really just needed to know where my baseline was so that I could make medication decisions going forward if I really am majorly depressed. Since 2018, I often discussed going off the meds with my doctor. And we discussed reducing down and going off should not be a problem just to do it one at a time and if I felt uncomfortable it was due to my underlying diagnosis and I should raise back up. So, I followed this advice. In hindsight, I should have clarified what dose to reduce to but I never had the impression it was much of an issue. I first went off the Trazadone “without issue” as I really wasn’t looking for “issues” to arise. Then I stopped Cymbalta at 60 mg. In retrospect this is when my “issues” started, but they were I did not know what the cause of the issues was. I began having ALL of the known side effects of stopping Cymbalta but it was inconsistent and not too intense and thought my Lyme had returned. I broke out in sores/blisters on my face, neck & back, started having stomach issues, tingling sensation in hands and feet, episodes of vertigo, flashes of anxiety and a general overall feeling of dis-ease. During this time, late Spring to Fall, I spoke to my psychiatrist twice and he assured me that my symptoms were not medication reduction related and inquired what doctors I was seeing to help me with my skin issues and my obvious illness. I told him that I was quite emotional and had a bit more anxiety and he told me to go back on the meds because I obviously need them. But I did see doctors. I saw the dermatologist and she could not diagnose my issue with the skin blisters after many tests. I am still having blister break outs to this day as they rotate around my face and neck, last forever, and have left scars up and down my arms. She gave me a steroid and told me not to scratch them. I sought help from a “world renowned” infectious disease doctor from Hopkins who ran all the preliminary blood tests on me and found no issues, referred me to another dermatologist and assured me that I do not have an infectious disease. At this point, in September, still not understanding what was happening to me, I was stable at 10 mg of Latuda and feeling somewhat normal. With the exception of the blisters, I was feeling better and the doctor told me I could stop Latuda at any time. I stopped Latuda completely at 10 mg in mid-September and I have been in the storm ever since and I finally went searching online for answers that doctors couldn’t/wouldn’t give and I found you. It was then that I realized what was going on…maybe beginning of October. The first 6 weeks were like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my life with the nausea, rushing anxiety, suicidal ideation, rapid thoughts, nightmares, horror upon waking and all the rest of the works. Coming and going in an onslaught. I can literally say, I have been toughing it out bravely, watching weekly as I made minimal progress but determined never to eat the poison again. I finally reached a point where the baseline was “livable”, no nausea, lessening anxiety, fewer racing thoughts, and stable enough emotions . I always had good days, followed by bad but the trajectory was improving and I was gaining confidence. Unfortunately over the past two weeks, I’ve felt increasing unease and been feeling progressively worse with fewer and fewer windows. I told myself I was going to tough this out until New Years before I would attempt to reinstate. Over the past week, I spent most of my days listening to solfeggio frequencies and trying to keep my nervous system calm. My breakouts got worse, I started having heart palpitations and really rough reality thoughts with anxiety surges and then all of a sudden, I couldn’t sleep. Until this week, I was sleeping fine, except for the cortisol surge in the morning but now I have to sit and ruminate in my own pity at 3am. So I cried uncle and reinstated Latuda at 1mg. My husband is a chemist, so this was no problem but I’m worried that this 2 days of reinstatement may be causing me to feel worse and symptoms have returned that were gone long ago – like hot flashes, crying spells and feelings of doom. I’ve also developed what some have called “electric anxiety” and my scalp seems to burn whenever I have an emotion, of any kind. So, I know reinstating was a crapshoot because I went off of 3 drugs within a 4 month period and there is no telling which of these poisons is causing my torment but I chose Latuda because, other than the blisters, I seemed to have stabilized for a couple of weeks very well at 10mg and when I went off the hounds of hell were released. I’m sorry this could not be a short story. It is SO difficult to write. To realize what I’ve done to myself and to look in the mirror at my blistered face and sunken eyes with the overwhelming disappointment of having failed myself and everyone around me. And I cannot find a hopeful timeline anywhere to get out of this torture chamber. I’ve gleaned a lot of great info from my fellow travelers on this site, but it seems ultimately the answer is that there is no definitive answer but that eventually I will heal. I’m trying to come to terms with that. In the meantime, if someone could please tell me what to do about this reinstatement process. After two days, I’m feeling worse, not better, but I was in a bad place when I decided to go for it so I don’t know what to do now. Obviously, my biggest fear is making things worse and extending this even longer. I feel a strong degree of responsibility to preserve what is left of my brain and nervous system after all of this. My humble thanks to this site and Merry Christmas everyone, K
  11. Hello I haven't seen many success stories about coming off Zyprexa so I thought i'd share incase it helps someone. I was on Zyprexa for a year and three months. I tried to come off a Zyprexa at 5mg, but found I was laying in bed awake until 6am when I'd finally nod off then have to get up for work at 7:30am (went to bed around 10/11pm) so I dealt with that for a week then went back on Zyprexa and came off slowly. I did the following: Full tablet (2.5mg) 3/4 for 1 month 2/4 for 1 month 1/4 for 1 month 1/4 ever second day 1 month 1/4 every 3rd day 1 week 1/4 every 4th day 1 week Then off My sleep started to get weird when I went down to 2/4 of 2.5 however I found if I had 2 Panadol and a chamomile tea i'd nod off and sleep through the night. I took the Panadol and Chamomile tea until a month after I came off Zyprexa then stopped the Panadol. I still have a Chamomile tea before bed. I asked my doctor if it was ok to have Panadol every night and she said if that's what will get you off Zyprexa then do it. I've been off Zyprexa for about 2 months now and I sleep from 10pm-7am (I usually wake up once during the night, but it's only once so I don't worry about it) I hope this helps someone come off this drug!
  12. Hi everyone I’ve been on latuda since March 11th .I had switched from Zyprexa to Latuda I started at 40 mg and went up to 60 per Dr.‘s orders that being said that ended me up in the hospital for hostility and homicidal thoughts. I tapered myself down after the hospital stay from 40 to 20 to 10 into 5mg over the course of a month. June 21st I stopped. I know I went to fast that time I tried to reinstate the Latuda but it made me cry more depressed every day and gave me really bad anxiety, hair loss & a crap list of other problems. I’ve been putting up with hell for a little over 5 months. I saw another person with a success story here on the forums. I had reinstated to 20 mg September 8th through the 11th. I just couldn’t handle going back on it again my body does not like it. I recently stopped on the 11th was my last dose at 10 mg. September 12th through today September 15th has been ok I have had quite a bit of Anxiety and I can feel the nerve response that Latuda had on my nervous system trying to go back to normal. I cannot wait for that sensation to go away. I’m trying to keep busy and stay focused on being mindful and knowing I will get through it. I feel better off of it than I did on it and I’m praying it doesn’t overtake my willpower. My goal is to not be on an antipsychotic anymore. I will keep updating my progress here. Thank you for taking the time to read.
  13. I've spent the last 13 years on various ant-depressants, anti-psychotics, mood stabilizers, and benzodiazapines. I was most recently on 80mg of Latuda and 900mg of Trileptal when the doctor who diagnosed me when i was 14 called to tell me she was wrong. She told me that I didn't need the drugs, and never had. My mom died from side effects of psychotropics and I had already pretty much figured out that the drugs weren't the answer for me. From February to June of this year I titrated myself off of them. I didn't trust psychiatrists to help me and I couldn't find one when I looked who would help. During this time, I finished graduate school taking a double load, started a new job as a consultant for the government where I protect children from bad medical advice, applied for a very high position and interviewed, moved in with my boyfriend full time, and he switched jobs, too. I let go of almost all of my friends during this process. When I came to, I realized that they were all really fake or bad people or just plain weirdos. I have three friends in town that I don't get to see very often, one very good long distance friend, and then my best friend/partner. A few of my family members have been really supportive and that has been really great. I take fish oil and that seems to make a big difference with the withdrawal symptoms. I was doing really great and felt like I was becoming normal again after these 13 years, but then I started having my period again. I stopped having my period on the drugs about 10 years ago. It has been so hard. I feel so weak like I am going to pass out. On top of that, I ended up not getting the big job I applied for. In addition to that, I am a social worker in the mental health/medical field and the secret motivations of others that I'm finally aware enough to pick up on feel so frighteningly devious. The most recent developments with "coming to" as I call it has been finding out that my sister was on and off verbally and emotionally abusive to me when I was on the drugs. I was easily manipulated on them because I couldn't remember things very well or keep my mind coherent. I think she would yell at me, but to be honest I can't really remember what the fights were like. I just remember afterwards feeling a rush when we would make up. She doesn't like me very much anymore the way I am now. She says we fight a lot now. The only difference is that I can remember when we fight and I don't instantly forgive her or give in to her adult tantrums. We grew up basically without parents, so she parented me. She always seemed like a wonderful mother/protector that was my best friend. It has been such a shock to realize who she really is. She was a huge support for me, but now that I understand how she treats me, i can't reach out to her anymore. There was a period of almost two years when I got into an abusive relationship. This was three years ago. I look back on that time and I can't really believe it was real. I know that I tolerated the way he treated me (the yelling, the not working, the financial abuse, the breaking objects) because I was on the drugs. My mind was so hazy I couldn't think straight. I also know that it was because of the way my sister treated me and her relationship with her boyfriend. Their unhealthy model made me think that what he was doing was acceptable. I somehow was able to get myself together and kick him out after he almost punched me. Shortly after that I started working out. Over a period of two years i lost 80 pounds working out and being able to eat health again when I had a med change in early 2016. The med change in early 2016 came when I gained insomnia for the first time in my life. I was in a relationship with a dangerous liar who was using me for sex. My hazy drugged brain couldn't figure it out, but I would become anxious and alert because deep inside of me, I knew what was happening. This turned out to be a great thing for me. We broke up when he was done with me and I got on new drugs. These had a much looser hold on me. I was studying behaviorism in graduate school and the way my "illness" had been defined,diagnosed,and treated did not make sense to me. I started dating a friend and he is really good to me. Somehow he tapped into the part of me that was most me. I got off of "sleeping pills" first, last year. These turned out to have been making me very high and "go go go". I calmed down a lot after that and started sleeping better. I was also able to identify that I was over medicated by talking to him and realized that I couldn't feel my emotions properly. That is when I saw that my psychiatrist would never help me get off of the drugs. She yelled at me when I said I was over medicated and barely agreed to lower me from the max dose (which had been placed by an entirely different doctor). I've been been hospitalized a number of times because of the drugs-three times in a mental hospital and twice in a medical hospital. The top most upsetting thing to find out has been that I never had any illness...at all. Now that I am off the drugs I don't have anxiety, depression, psychosis, or any of the weird ways these would manifest I noticed these symptoms fade away as the drugs left my system. I was and am so proud that I was able to get off of them, especially while doing so much else with my life. I've been through some awful physical side effects, but mentally I have been so clear and myself. I'm not always happy, because along with my lack of mental illness symptoms has come a level of consciousness I have never experienced as an adult. Not only do I suddenly remember all of the traumatic things I went through with my mom and her drugs, my own drugs, and my own life, I'm also painfully aware of other people's emotions, motivations, and actions. Everything came back into focus sharper than it does for most people, I think. I'm having to cope with the realities of materialism and our society-suddenly all at once. I think I get exposed to the evils of the world much more than the average person, too, in my job doing social work. My eyes are open to a lot now that I just couldn't see before. My withdrawal symptoms included getting hot every time I was hungry, food intake fluctuations, heat sensitivity, sudden sleepiness, insomnia, food sensitivity, weakness, tingling in my foot, sensory sensitivity, and general disorientation due to how aware of people's tones and body language I am now. When I came to, though, I realized I had done really good for myself despite the drugs. I have a very high powered career and am the youngest person of my type of position in our agency, but have the highest level of education. I graduated with my masters with a 3.9 gpa and got through my undergrad with a medication induced learning disability and my mother's death with a 3.2 gpa at a top university. I escaped two abusive relationships and am now going to marry a very trust worthy, kind, hardworking man who also happens to be the most handsome man I have ever seen. Somehow we were able to take care of our relationship with everything I was going through and his 70% traveling job for a whole year. We just moved to a huge two bedroom apartment in the nicest part of town and I am completely able to pay my half of the bills and all of my own bills. His trauma from being abused has been healing and we have been living together post-his traveling job for three months and it has been the most amazing life. While I have a much smaller number of friends than I once had, I have four friends I can really trust and rely on. Some are available more often than others, but four seems like a huge blessing to me. I sleep full nights most nights after 13 years of drug induced sleep. This started on day two of no drugs. i didn't get the big job I interviewed for, but my supervisor thinks it was due to administrative errors and my application being allowed to be sent through to too high a position. I was sent through to an above entry level position because of how good I look on paper. She is getting me ready for the entry level position interview in two months. Despite that, I am being recognized as a talented writer and assessor at work. The most anyone ever noticed about my withdrawal symptoms was that I talked fast sometimes and that is over. New withdrawal symptoms have been happening these two weeks I've had my period and that has been a set back in my recovery. Writing all of this down makes me feel proud of myself and know that I can get through this.
  14. I’ve been on antidepressants for 25 years. Recently started Latuda and weaned off Trintellix over a month while starting Latuda. (Trintellix 20mg daily decreased by 15mg for 7 days, 10mg for 7 days, then 5mg for 7 days) After being on Latuda for almost a month (Latuda 20 mg for 7days, 40mg for 7 days, 60mg for 3 days. A lot of restlessness on 60mg so dose decreased to 40mg. Felt great for about 6 days then suddenly got extreme restlessness and felt like I was going crazy. My doctor had me stop Latuda immediately. Now after 2 days I’m on no antidepressants or antipsychotic medication. I am feeling foggy but okay. Is it possible I could get off antidepressants? Is it possible after all these years? I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been off them. I’ve taken almost every SSRI OR SNRI on the market. I really don’t know what’s happening in this interim. I have an appointment tomorrow and really don’t know if going back on meds is the right thing or the dire thing to do. I hope this makes sense. *want to add that PMS is the time I feel my moods are completely unstable. First time posting on a forum. Thank you.
  15. Hello all, I was first prescribed 25mg of zoloft late November of 2015 after a few days in the psych ward. Afterward when I found a psychiatrist, he raised my zoloft to 100 mg and then a month or two later he added topamax 25mg and Latuda (can't remember the dosage) into the mix. Shortly after I started to get brain zaps even when I was taking the medications on time and foolishly I decided to just stop taking them all together around March or April of 2016. I never returned to that psychiatrist or any psychiatrist for that matter. Now almost four years since taking them I am still plagued with brain zaps. They are not always present but appear every few months for a few days and then vanish into the wind. It went on that until about Feb of 2018 when I started experiencing numbness in my legs. I thought it was a stroke or blood clot so I went to the ER. After I got a MRI of my brain and an xray of my spine, the doctors told me that the findings did not explain my brain zaps or numbness in my legs and sent me home with an article from PsychologyToday that I had already read a million times detailing SSRI withdrawal syndrome. I felt defeated and never thought to contact a neurologist. Since then my symptoms got progressively worse. Every few months there would be relapses and a new symptom would appear; lhermitte sign, paresthesia, tingling, itchiness, fatigue, and pain behind eyes. I started to document my symptoms April of this year after another relapse. I had another relapse September/October. Today I am in the throes of another relapse. This time somewhat longer than normal. I decided once and for all to find out if what I am experiencing is just the repercussions of not tapering off some medication almost four years ago while being a stupid college kid or if what I have is something more serious since SSRI withdrawal seems to mimic quite a few other neurological diseases. Tomorrow I go in to see if I can get a referral to a neurologist. Wish me luck.
  16. I am 35, the medication I quit was Latuda and I cold turkeyed, attempted to go back on and just went off again. I had been on various medications through my adult life and childhood that I think set me up for the experience. I forgot exactly what I did but I see now that my old post says "I ended up going to 40mg for 2 weeks then 1 week 20." When I look back at the pattern, I would say that things got so bad that when things were improving I thought I was back to "normal" but it's only years later that I realize that things were a smidge slower than I thought. But some things were fast. It's such a bizarre experience. I think that by a year the big things were gone and everything had improved month by month in that year and then more and more my body regulated itself. I have forgotten so much of that period but I would say what helped was hiking, friends (ones you could be completely honest with), researching but also letting go of research and even being on this site (because I got obsessive and sometimes the reaction wasn't good). Facebook distraction. Forcing myself to eat, but changing my eating to a little bit more healthy. Working, I needed to continue to work for the structure. Having the tv on and laying down a lot helped, it helped with the loudness of my mind. Being under stimulated in general, such as having lights off. Forcing myself to do normal things even if I felt like a dead brick, like walking through stores to shop. Individual therapy. Group therapy. Not returning to the psychiatrist (there is a holistic one near me that I considered based on her attitude, more holistic approach, seems anti med a little, I always considered doing that and this gave me hope so see if that is available). Reading success stories of people experiencing hard times in their lives. Kept taking vitamins. MINDFULNESS. MINDFULNESS. MINDFULNESS. You can not think about tomorrow. Yoga and staying in surviving the moment was the best thing for me. I wasn't perfect obviously, but just kept going back to that. One other thing that really helped was eventually acting like it never happened, I know that sounds sh*tty but I stopped coming here and researching and whatever else because I had to get my mind off it. But I remember promising myself to come back in a year to update, which I believe I did. The one regret I have is not going off my birth control when this happened. I didn't want to make things worst but I don't think there could have been a worst and now I am being triggered by attempting to get off birth control. Other than that, I think I made the best decisions I could and I made it out.
  17. Hello there, My name is Angelo, and I was diagnosed with a lot of labels. I've had psychotic breaks, and I was put on a lot of differents medications. I've had 2 shots of Invega the Last year, but my mom Saved me from having more shots. I believed that taking antipsicotics would made me "normal again", but that's not true. I've tried a lot of antipsicotics during my life, and they never made me feel good, i felt good only after some months of quitting them. But now i'm scared because this time i was under antipsicotics for more than one year,(even more that 2 antipsicotic, Haldol Latuda and Talofen, later I found a psyschiatrist who choosed to let me quit all the medications) I've had an extreme akathisia, but now it's a lot better, I felt so agitated that I try to Kill my self more than one time. On the phisical Side i feel really bad, my muscles are really messed, i feel tired, weak... I can't experience Joy, calm, relax, happiness is just an utopia for me, now. My memory is really bad, i'm scared that it's damaged forever, the only thing I want to do is sleeping to avoid this sufference, and this is why I took a benzo before writing this, i will post it and I will go to bed. The world seems really strange to me, i don't feel myself like a person But just like... just like "a thing". I don't see my Friends from a lot of time, and I don't want to see them, i'm not able to socialize anymore, i barely talk, sometimes i walk in a strange way, and I'm afraid that this time, it will Last forever. I would like to feel myself again, I would like to be again the smart Guy i used to be, i would like to heal from everything wich make me bad. But it just sound like impossible. I don't go to school, i don't make anything all the day, and even if I would want to do something, i would feel too bad to do it, i've tried. I live in Italy, wich is a beautiful nation, but I can't feel it. Even if I go to the Sea, i don't feel anything, anything. I started to cry again, but I don't know if it's a sign of a progress, or just my disperation. I've had a lot of dreams for myself, but now it looks like they disappeared. What can I do? Is there somebody who had a similiar experience and recovered or just felt better? I just have to wait? Greetings, Mister G.
  18. I'm Gratitude, So very thankful to this information. It came a little late. I'm extremely scared and never posted before. Please bare with me I'm very slow and having a hard time remembering the most basic skills. 2007 - Zoloft, Trazidone, Lexapro and many others I dont remember them all. They were all high dosages. Most recent 2010 - now Latuda started at 40 mg to 160 mg. March 2019 went cold turkey could not function. Went to hospital and they said nothing was wrong and I couldnt find any information about Discontinuation Syndrome. Dr.s said I was fine. Then over 2019 I overtook my meds one day and under took them the next not realizing the damage. November I ask my phychiatrist for a taper and she reduced it by half. I sometime took 80 to sleep. January 20, 2019 I decided to stick with 40 mg and I have. I'm so scared because after researching I realize I did everything wrong. I just want my brain back. Im also perscribed hydrocodone for chronic pain severe arthritist. I take xanax for anxiety. I want to be healthy and latuda makes me deathly ill if I miss a day. I realized I can survive Latuda. I suffer from sever miagranes and no organization or motivation. I hope I did this right. If it were'nt for all the wonderful information I would of went back on it. Thank you so much for some hope. Techniques to help. Febuary 9 I started 1040 Omega3 Febuary 11Magnesium 250.
  19. I have come off Strattera successfully and am now in the process of tapering off Latuda. I am down to 20mg from 60. It's taken a month and half. I know that's not super long. I have to taper off Cymbalta next which I am planning on doing alot more slowly. I've gone off it before and the withdrawal is quite intense. After the Cymbalta its LIthium and then I'm done. I'm nervous but determined. I'm taking supplements for my mind to help out.
  20. I'll introduce myself as Yabba, I'm a 22 year old male who has been diagnosed with many things over the past 10 years, but in the past 4 everyone has agreed It's BPD & Anxiety. I've been on various medications from prozac to olanzapine to alprazolam, It all started when I was 12, I was put on psychiatric drugs at this age, this is where it all started really - I'm feeling xyz so they prescribe what they think is right, The symptoms of one medication caused side-effects so they would prescribe another to counter. At one point I was on six medications at one time (16 y/o). So now for current day events: My psychiatrist has informed me that Zeldox causes side effects that are irreversible and I should consider moving to a newer anti-psychotic which he gave me a choice, Latuda & Saphris. I've had history with one but not the other. I was on 160 mg of Zeldox (Max daily dose) and I was informed by him I should come off slowly, since being on such a high dose for multiple years (3+) it may or may not be difficult. I've tapered down to 40 mg and wow, this is what emotions are like? My question is to others who have tapered off anti-psychotics: Is this like "wall" of emotions normal? I'm so happy throughout the day, I have lots of energy , but sometimes I'll see something on youtube that will just hit my heart some kind of way and I'll just start to cry, I'm not sad or depressed, I'm just in tears. My goal is to stop anti-psychotics all together, the past 2 months of being tapered off my life has only got better since being on a reduced dose, I'm enrolled back in school to get my diploma (3 credits) I've already made plans for collage, I went and got my licence back, applied and accepted for new bank account and credit card. For the first time in so long things feel good . I don't feel the same 2 emotions anymore & it gives me hope that I can finally do something with my life , that this illness beat me for a decade but In the end I won. Current Medications: Zeldox 40mg Adderall XR 10 mg Alprazolam 2 mg PRN Trazodone 300 mg PRN (for the rare night I can't sleep and I have an appointment the next day ect) p.s Too anyone else with BPD: This **** sucks, but you're a good person. We don't get told that enough but we are. Don't let the stigma get you down.
  21. I’m actively slowly tapering off nasty cymbalta. I’m currently counting beads, taking 17.7mg / 93 beads. I also take 10mg of latuda. I haven’t had any problems dropping latuda from 20 to 15 or 15 to 10, but I’m wondering if staying on it for another two years before I’m off cymbalta completely is really a good idea. It’s also expensive which is a constant risk if insurance stops covering it. I know it’s a brake to the cymbalta and probably helps ease the cymbalta withdrawal... thoughts would be greatly appreciated! Not bipolar, if that matters - taking this cocktail for mostly situational depression that I’ve made life decisions to alleviate. Really don’t think I need these meds, and think the anxiety is a side effect from the AD. THANKS!
  22. Wow! First of all I would like to say how relieved I was to have found this forum. For the years I've been struggling with this I have gotten so tired of other people (including doctors and therapists!) telling me that what I've experienced isn't possible and that I'm either making it all up or still sick. Everything started in my junior year of college. I had struggled with varying levels of depression and anxiety for most of my life, even resorting to SI when I was younger, but had finally hit a point where I thought that I needed some professional help. Looking back, I'm sure that the sudden drop was situational as much as anything. Most of my friends had moved away or graduated, my family was going through some money trouble, and I was working more hours to be able to be more self-sufficient. I started to become more withdrawn and my academics started to drop. I was an A and B student so this was very stressful to me. Thinking I was being proactive and doing the right thing, I went to my school's counseling center who then referred me to the campus clinic. The psychiatric nurse practitioner prescribed Prozac (20mg). About two weeks later I was hit with the worse anxiety I had ever had. I barely left my house unless I had to for class or work, would start shaking at random times, and had near constant chest pain. I tried to wait it out but eventually gave up and went back. She switched me to lexapro(20mg). This seemed to do the trick so I stayed on it though the end of the semester and over the summer. Unfortunately, when I started back up at school I started to struggle again. I'd tried to make positive changes in my life: made some new friends, got in contact with old ones, and started trying to date. Then, as it happens all too often in college, the guy I was seeing got me drunk and took advantage. This led to me having a bit of a breakdown and my friends urged me to go to the hospital. While there they switched me to zoloft(50mg), remeron(15mg), and lorazapam(2mg as needed). This is where things start to get really wonky. At first I thought it was helping but about a month after I got out of the hospital I started having these intense intrusive self-harm thoughts. Violent and strong enough to scare me. I had a medication review and those three were dropped and I was put on WellbutrinXL(150mg). Again things were better for a little while but about a month later started to go south. The intrusive thoughts were back and I had started to feel very unlike myself. Impulsive and disconnected. I later learned that this was probably a kind of dissociation. One night all of the stress and darkness got to me and I impulsively decided to chase the rest of my pills with half a bottle of vodka. It was strange because I wasn't trying to kill myself, the mindset was more: "I wonder what this will do. It can't be worse that what I'm already feeling." It didn't feel real, like it was happening to someone else. That put me back in the hospital where I then dropped out of college and moved back in with my parents. I had to be on a wait list but eventually I started seeing a new psychiatrist who decided to diagnose me with Bipolar based on the impulsiveness and out of character behavior I had while taking Wellbutrin. She called it agitated depression or mixed mania. At the time I believed her. I was scared, desperate, and seriously doubting my sanity, and I felt like I couldn't trust myself. She started out by prescribing me Abilify(15mg) and Effexor (75mg). This was my second nightmare. A few days later I started having akathisia and had similar feelings of impulsiveness and feeling out of control. When I told my doctor she urged me to wait it out which led to me relapsing into SI for the first time in over 6 years to cope. That combination was obviously stopped and I had the most physical withdrawal symptoms that I had so far. I couldn't leave my bed for two days I was so nauseous and dizzy. I feel like I should point out at this point that I was on most of these medications for max of a few months and didn't taper at all. Cold turkey then right on to another. Next on the list was Latuda(40mg - 60mg). My insurance ended up not really covering that one so what I ended up on as my final medication was Lithium. This was a blessing in a way because it didn't really do anything, which turns out, is what I needed. At one point I was up to 1600mg a day to control my "symptoms" which I'm now convinced was almost entirely side effects mixed with withdrawal. That dose completely destroyed my short term memory. After finally stabilizing, I had gone back to school and this was making classwork almost impossible, so after much debating the dosage was stepped down to 800mg. Finally, in the summer of 2017, I took a summer job working at a research station in the forest. After a lot of solo time hiking in nature I had an epiphany. This was the best I had felt in years and that all of my serious problems started after I sought "help." When I got back to see my doctor I told her my plan to stop taking medication. She was extremely judgemental and basically told me I'd be back when I had a relapse and just told me to tapper off with the what I had left (about a weeks worth). I'm very happy to say that she was wrong. All I've done since then is get better. I still struggle with some depression and anxiety but if that is the trade off I will gladly live with that. After a year and a half of being free of psychiatric drugs I'm surprised at the difference. On medication I was dissociating, having panic attacks, paranoia, and suicidal ideation. I felt like a complete basket case. It's terrifying to me how easy it is to get stuck in a downward spiral like that. Not ONE of the doctors or therapists that I'd seen even considered that the medication could be what was causing me to get worse and worse. They just saw worsening "symptoms" that they had to "get ahead of" and I believed it too. Now, even that the worst is over, the experience still haunts me. I feel so guilty about the way that I behaved and I have no idea how much was my fault versus the medication. I know that it was a factor but I remember making the decisions to hurt myself and destroy my life and I'm not really sure how to live with that. I have nightmares where I'm back in the worst of it feeling like I'm slowly losing my mind and I have permanent scars from the SI. I saw a new primary care doctor recently and the first thing she tried to do was get me back on mood stabilizers after seeing "bipolar" on my chart. I don't know how to get that removed or if I even can. The only people who believe me are my friends and family who saw me go from a somewhat stressed young adult to nonfunctional almost overnight. I know that this hasn't ruined my life... but it certainly feels like it sometimes. I'm sorry that anyone else had to go through this hell but I'm so, so glad that I'm not alone in this. Even now I'm not sure that I'm completely recovered. I guess time will tell.
  23. I came across this forum in the recent New Yorker article and I’m excited to connect with others going through similar experiences. I’ve been dealing with this in isolation for far too long. JAN 2019 Over the years, I’ve been put on an increasingly complex regime - see signature. At the start of the year as I understand it, the mainstays were Wellbutrin + Pristiq, augmented by Latuda. Plus Adderall to combat daytime lethargy. I wasn’t satisfied: 1) I don’t like being on so many meds. I felt a personal stigma, plus I’m scientifically trained. Surely this was too many variables in terms of optimizing further. 2) I was still suffering from evening lethargy, basically crashing out around 8-9pm which was impacting my relationship and family. 5mg Adderall and a coffee at 7pm, and I could still pass out an hour later. WHERE I AM NOW: STREAMLINING MY REGIME This year, I’m working to simplify the regime with my psych. Immediate goals - taper Pristiq, stop Latuda. 2019 goal - reduce to two or three meds. To taper the Pristiq, we added 10mg Prozac. We also added Abilify to replace the Latuda, which I hope to discontinue soon. So I went from 4 meds to 6, hoping this makes sense. The Pristiq tapering has been a real journey - The hardest phase was when I was taking 50mg every 2 days, then every 3 days. - Thanks to this forum, I read that that was a bad idea (the rollercoaster certainly felt like one), and we switched to 25mg daily. Thats where I am now. - The switch from 50 mg every 3 days -> 25mg daily surprised me by being the hardest transition in terms of depressive symptoms. This was combined with a foot injury which meant I couldn’t exercise much. When it rains, it pours! Would love to hear your thoughts on any of the above. Stay strong.
  24. Moderator note: link to benzo forum thread - Bandboy: Tapering benzos and latuda Hi all. Began taking antidepressants around 2000. Tried them all, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Prestiq, and more I can't remember. A few years ago I was put on Abilify, but it caused too much weight gain. I was then placed on Latuda, which was effective. I believe I have developed a tolerance to Latuda, and I suspect it has caused higher glucose levels and at rare times difficulty swallowing. I tried a fast taper, 50, 25, 0 percent and about 3 days later started withdrawals--sniffling, claminess, irritatabilty. Went back up to 50% and the symptoms quickly subsided. Have initiated the 10 percent tapering and while I feel uncomfortable with the first drop, I can tolerate it so far. When I feel comfortable or in 4 weeks, whichever is first, I'll try another 10%. I intend to treat the depression with ketamine, which I have found to be effective for me.
  25. Hey there everyone. You can call me Fawn or Deer. I would like to share my journey with you all in this introduction. I'm hoping I can get some helpful feedback and advice on how to approach tapering off the medications I currently take. So, to start, I am 21 y/o and currently taking 40mg of Celexa, and 5mg of Abilify I also take vitamins and supplements which are listed in my signature. I think it's important to address my background briefly. I come from a very difficult background, I have been emotionally/psychologically abused by parental figures nearly since infancy up until the last few years, and had countless traumatic experiences both inside and outside of the abuse going on at home. I struggle with mental illness symptoms and physical pain, and I have since about 7 or 8 years of age. There's a lot to say, and I'm unsure of how much is relevant... I will just go into the medication aspect now. At 16, I asked my mom for help. I was experiencing severe depression and anxiety symptoms. I also suffered from an eating disorder and was severely underweight. On top of that, I was having audio and visual hallucinations. I suspect most of this was a result of complex trauma and malnourishment. I went to a hospital first, because I was suicidal. They put me on a medication for hallucinations (I can't remember the name) but it was making my symptoms worse so I didn't take it. My mom took me to see a psychiatrist, who said I was bipolar and anorexic and put me on Celexa and Topamax. The timeline is fuzzy but I think I was on these meds for a year or so before I saw a new psychiatrist through an intervention program for acute symptoms of psychosis. The new psychiatrist suspected that I had a personality disorder, and could possibly end up psychotic, so he started me on Abilify in addition to the Celexa and Topamax. I was 17. Of course, my symptoms became more manageable, and I started gaining weight (without changing my eating habits all that much, mind you). About 2 years went by. I went through periods where I felt like the medications weren't really helping me, so I would stop taking them cold turkey for a month or two. Not surprisingly, I would feel much worse and start taking them again. I was constantly pressured by my doctors, mother, and grandmother to continue taking these medications, but I couldn't help but feel like something wasn't right. I couldn't put my finger on it, though. When I was 19, the program I was in got a new psychiatrist. Around that time I had been taking my medications inconsistently, and when I told that to the new psychiatrist she said that if I wasn't taking them, they must not be working. She suggested something different. She decided to stop the Abilify, Topamax, and Celexa, saying if I wasn't taking them consistently for the last couple months it should be fine to stop them. Instead, she put me on Latuda and another medication (I can't remember the name). The next 3 months were utter chaos. I was more depressed than I had been in my life. I couldn't get out of bed, and I started eating more. A lot more. Especially sweets. I kept insisting that the new medications were making me this way. I was told repeatedly for weeks that I had to wait it out and it would get better. After 3 months I ended up in a psychiatric hosptial for 5 days. The psychiatrist at the hospital took me off the new meds and put me back on celexa and abilify. I have been on them consistently for the last 2 years. And in that time, my health has declined in many aspects. I have gained so much weight that I've gone from severely underweight to overweight in a few years. I crave sugar and caffeine all the time. I sleep a lot, sometimes 12+ hours, and I am fatigued almost 24/7. My anxiety and depression are not managed all that well, either. In doing research, I started seeing that many people taking these types of meds have experienced the same thing... and I've tried 3 times to taper off the Abilify without success. Every time, I go through severe withdrawal symptoms. I'm sick of this. I don't feel good, I don't feel healthy and I am almost certain my psychiatric meds are making it worse. I have a new therapist who is very supportive of holistic approaches to mental health and I have decided to talk to her about tapering off these meds. I want to get off Abilify first because I think that is the worst medication that I'm on. Then the Celexa. I'm really angry at the irresponsibility of the health professionals who put me on these meds and persuaded me, a vulnerable young person, to stay on them despite feeling like it wasn't in my best interest. I'm really angry at what's happened to my body and mind being on these medications. I'm angry at the system that allows this to happen. So... enough of my rambling... What does everyone think? I am open to questions, advice, anything really... help is very much appreciated. -Fawn
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